Breaking News: King Dick Gets Fitted for Throne

Oh, my mistake. He’s actually just lounging in a gilded chair while hanging out with his peeps in Oil Land. Ya know—when in Rome. Or something.

(Seriously, what the eff look is that on his face? Is he smiling? Grimacing? Passing a stone? Passing wind? I hope someone got him an aspirin in case it was another heart attack. Honestly, the man of a thousand disturbing faces, he is.)

Now, Lord Fashion Tragedy is known for inappropriate attire, but I’m hoping someone can please explain to me what the deal is with these shoes. The man’s like a freaking gazillionaire. Can’t he afford something a little spiffier than Hush Puppies?


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