Pope Declares Gay Marriages Anarchistic and “Pseudo-Matrimonies”

Superb:

Pope Benedict, in his first clear pronouncement on gay marriages since his election, on Monday condemned same-sex unions as fake and expressions of "anarchic freedom" that threatened the future of the family.

The Pope, who was elected in April, also condemned divorce, artificial birth control, trial marriages and free-style unions, saying all of these practices were dangerous for the family.

"Today's various forms of dissolution of marriage, free unions, trial marriages as well as the pseudo-matrimonies between people of the same sex are instead expressions of anarchic freedom which falsely tries to pass itself off as the true liberation of man," he said.

[…]

The Pope, who as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger headed the Vatican's doctrinal department for more than two decades, said "pseudo freedoms" such as gay marriages were based on what he called the "banalisation of the human body" and of man himself.

Yeah, all you gays with your demands for pseudo-freedoms and pseudo-equality and pseudo-rights, and you women with your pseudo-desires to have control over when and if you have babies. The true liberation of man comes from the oppression of queers and the subjugation of women. How will men ever be truly free as long as you keep harping on about being pseudo-repressed? Selfish bastards.

(He's really holding onto that whole "man" as shorthand for "humankind" thing. That's some kind of tenacious sexism. It would almost be impressive in its audacity, were it not for the fact that he's one of the most influential men in the world.)