Quickies

Slack LaLane brings us this little tidbit from the world of sports:

Bloggers everywhere rejoiced when Michael Vick spread the world's greatest gift to a pissed off woman he met on vacation. After all, Vick not only gave this poor girl herpes, but he did it after lying to her that his name was Ron Mexico.

Ron Mexico? That’s the lamest alias ever. And what makes me suspect that Vick decided he wanted to pattern his pick-up-chicks-and-get-tested-for-STDs name after the totally cool name Tony Montana? First name, place name. I imagine the inner monologue going something like this:

Gary…Indiana. Jackson…Mississippi. Orlando…Florida. Uhh…Ron Mexico!

I can tell you with an unassailable certainty that if a guy sauntered up to me and introduced himself as Ron Mexico, I would laugh in his face.

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John Howard brings us some more disturbing imagery of the Right at Upon Further Review…

I was listening to Sean Hannity on the way home from work [Friday] (I do that sometimes just to amuse myself) and he had Ann Coulter on to explain her "ordeal" in Texas last week. How he pried his lips off the cock of the runaway bride "story" I'll never know. But anyway, Coulter was on her cell phone so Hannity suggested she come back on Monday to tell her story. Coulter said she wasn't sure if she could make it, but that they would talk about it on IM that night. I'm not sure why this bothered me so much, but there really isn't much that could disturb me more than a latenight chat session with Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter.

That really is unsettling. The thought of Sean Hannity furiously typing with one hand while Ann Coulter caresses her Adam’s apple with a vibrator is too much for me to bear, honestly.

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BlondeSense’s Pissed Off Patricia offers a rapture what if…?

Wouldn’t it be funny if the Rapture came and no one was taken? Or better yet, what if the rapture came and only us sweet sinners got to take the magic carpet ride? Can you imagine? All these fake ministers standing there with their mouths agape as they watch ones, such as you and me, floating off to that big toga party in the sky. All the sanctimonious assholes who have beat their kids, tried to block abortions, fought against gay marriages and all the other insanity they have spouted, just standing there and realizing they fucked up. Imagine the look on their faces when they might have to accept the fact that Jesus isn’t crazy about bad people, especially the ones who use his name to justify everything they do. They might find out that the Jesus who comes to earth is the Jesus the New Testament says he is, not the Jesus they wish he was. The headlines that day might read, “You get raptured by the Jesus you have, not the Jesus you wish you had”.

Heh. The scary thing is contemplating the truth behind the sentiment “the Jesus they wish he was.” Who wants their savior to be a hateful jerk? Oh yeah—other hateful jerks. Right.

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JJ reports at Big Brass Blog that professional closet case and mayor of Spokane, Jim West, has announced a leave of absence. Yeah, Jimbo—I don’t think being relegated to the political equivalent of Siberia by your party is technically a “leave of absence.” Something tells me we won’t be seeing ya around, bub.

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And Me4President muses:

I also heard O'Reilly on satellite radio say that he has been in combat and talk about how he handles prisoners and life and death. Who is more fucked up, him or his listeners?

That’s a tough one. Thoughts?