The Evils of Stem Cell Research

As I’m our sure you all know, our mighty leader, Herr Bush, has seen fit to ban any and all stem cell research in the United States. And who can blame him? If stem cell technology eradicated disease then where would Pfizer be? Everyone knows we can’t survive without Pfizer, and we’re lucky we have Mr. Bush to protect it. Why, if that John Kerry fella had been elected, our pharmaceutical companies would now have to actually bargain with the government over pricing, and even face competition from abroad! All so that ungrateful, selfish poor people could get affordable medicine! How would that have helped us build the oligarchic utopia we’ve all been dreaming of?

It’s obvious that only the mentally afflicted could support stem cell research, and here’s what one cripple had to say on the matter:

Question: What do you and your academic friends make of the debate over embryonic-stem-cell research in this country?

Dr. Hawking: In Britain, like most of the developed world, stem-cell research is regarded as a great opportunity. America will be left behind if it doesn't change policy.

So you see folks, only a retard would promote stem-cell research. Praise be to Jesus!

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