The Bitch is Back

Okay, I’m back.

This site has, in its short existence, never been a personal blog, but last week was a week like no other. Immediately after the election, I felt quite hopeless and, frankly, depressed. Now I am angry, and I feel the fight in me coming back, and to detail that transition, I’m going to get personal.

In 2000, when Bush was selected as President, I cried. I feared the worst, and everyone around me told me I was overreacting. Four years later, those same people were politically active for the first time in their lives, and they were fighting like hell for John Kerry.

This time, I was deeply saddened by the outcome of the election, more so even than in 2000, and not just because I don’t like Bush, but because I genuinely liked Kerry. I was hurt by those on the Left who turned against him, who blamed the loss on him or his support of gay rights. But I didn’t cry.

Then last week, it was announced that Elizabeth Edwards had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I read the news Thursday on Atrios’ blog, and in a fit of soul-baring unusual for this blogger, I shared with the posters at Atrios in the comments thread for the post that I, too, had recently discovered a lump in my breast. The outpouring of support was astounding.

Perhaps even more astounding were the contributions of a troll, who said some of the ugliest, nastiest things imaginable about Elizabeth Edwards, and when I asked him why he delighted in others’ suffering, he called me a sanctimonious bitch and told me to fuck off.

That night, I lost my shit. Filled with disappointment, bitterness, rage, fear for my own health and future and the health and future of the country, and a million other emotions, I wailed and sobbed and pounded my fists. Not my best moment.

But having experienced a catharsis, and with the undeserved support and understanding of Mr. Shakespeare’s Sister, who himself had not been of sound mind for days, I came out the other side stronger and ready for a fight, armed with a healthy anger about the injustice I see grabbing this country by its throat, and I’m not about to let it become a death grip.

And so I have resolved not to give up on my country, my frustratingly red state, or this blog. I will continue to fight for my firm belief that every citizen in this country deserves equal rights and opportunities, and I will continue to raise my voice and hope that it is heard.

We may have lost this battle, but the war is still ours to be won. Onward…

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