Fat Fashion

This is your semi-regular thread in which fat women can share pix, make recommendations for clothes they love, ask questions of other fat women about where to locate certain plus-size items, share info about sales, talk about what jeans cut at what retailer best fits their body shapes, discuss how to accessorize neutral colored suits, share stories of going bare-armed for the first time, brag about a cool fashion moment, whatever.

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This is, ahh, not exactly the best picture of my favorite new sweater, lol, but, in other news, I've got hair again!

image of me at my desk wearing a red and blue sweater

The sweater I'm wearing in this pic is a new favorite, which I purchased at ModCloth: "Primary, Salutary, Tertiary Cotton Sweater." One of the things I love about it is that it isn't terribly long, so it fits my short frame. Note to taller folks: It might be too short for you, especially if you're long in the torso.

Anyway! As always, all subjects related to fat fashion are on topic, but if you want a topic for discussion: Bought anything you totally love lately?

Have at it in comments! Please remember to make fat women of all sizes, especially women who find themselves regularly sizing out of standard plus-size lines, welcome in this conversation, and pass no judgment on fat women who want to and/or feel obliged, for any reason, to conform to beauty standards. And please make sure if you're soliciting advice, you make it clear you're seeking suggestions—and please be considerate not to offer unsolicited advice. Sometimes people just need to complain and want solidarity, not solutions.

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Olivia the White Farm Cat lying inside a section of the TV stand, 'waving' at me with one paw
LOLOLOLOLOLOL this cat.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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@!#$%!@&##*!+!!@#!

I've got another new piece over at Shareblue RAGE SEETHE BOIL:

Media Matters reports:
Fox News contributor Newt Gingrich is advocating for Congress to "change the ethics laws" for President-elect Donald Trump, rather than forcing Trump to "disentangle himself from his multibillion-dollar business to avoid conflicts of interest with his incoming administration."

…Gingrich, a staunch Trump supporter, is calling for "a whole new approach" for Congress to address Trump's potential conflicts of interest: "Change the ethics laws." Gingrich also suggested that Trump could use "the power of the pardon" to get around ethics laws by saying "Look, I want them to be my advisers. I pardon them if anyone finds them to have behaved against the rules. Period."
Gingrich's argument is explicitly to rewrite the rules because Trump is wealthy, saying during an interview on NPR: "We've never seen this kind of wealth in the White House, and so traditional rules don't work. We're going to have to think up a whole new approach."

It is not, of course, Trump's "wealth" that is at issue, but how he accumulates it.
There is oh so much more at the link, including two new major ethical concerns associated with Trump's family business which are being reported even as Gingrich is advocating changing ethics rules to accommodate Trump.

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Today in "This Is Not Normal"

I've got a new piece at Shareblue about Donald Trump's insistence on keeping his private "security and intelligence" detail, despite warnings from seasoned Secret Security personnel:

By virtue of the fact that "federal law prohibits anyone other than law enforcement officers from bringing firearms into federal buildings," it is unlikely that [Keith] Schiller could be anything more than a glorified body man for Trump, which raises the question why his continued presence would be necessary.

A Trump transition team official told Politico, however, that "to describe him as a body guy would be very, very beneath the role that he actually plays," which is "kind of a consigliere… He has the confidence of Trump and of the family."

...The Secret Service detail will be there in a protective role, not an aggressive one. Trump's "consigliere" Schiller is not bound by such well-defined service. He can be body man, aggressor, spy, and enforcer. And the president-elect is seemingly prioritizing his need to identify dissenters and quash protests even over the safety of the Secret Service members assigned to protect him.

Further, Schiller's "ability to essentially control access to Trump" extends even to Secret Service agents, and has "already complicated the Secret Service's rigid protection protocols, say allies of the agency and independent security experts."

The reason we implement such intense protection of the president is not only because it is ethically responsible to provide security to someone who assumes enormous personal risk to serve their country, but also because the president getting harmed creates a major crisis.
There is more at the link, including some of the "services" Trump's private team has provided, including cracking down on protesters at his ongoing rallies.

This is not normal. And I know I keep saying that, and I'm going to keep saying it every day, because I fervently resist the normalization of any of this shit.

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Open Thread

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Question of the Day


How are you?

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Discussion Thread: Holiday Dread

[Content Note for Christian Supremacy, privilege, and various dysfunctional family dynamics and abuse, covering the entirety of the thread.]

image of kyriarchetypical white family at Christmas
Does your family look like this? Mine, neither.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Except for when it's not. And if you aren't happily preparing to celebrate the most perfect Christmas with your perfect family, it can feel pretty lonely—mostly because there aren't a whole lot of places where it's acceptable to talk about your holiday anxiety, or sadness, or contempt, without disguising it as some kind of joke. There aren't a whole lot of places where it's okay to have a grown-up conversation about how genuinely hard the holidays can be.

So, here's a thread to do that. Whether you're facing time with a dysfunctional family of origin, facing time alone you'd prefer to be sharing with someone else, exhausted even contemplating the travel ahead, sad because you can't afford a gift you'd really like to get your kid, pissed off because you don't celebrate Christmas and OMFG enough with the Christmas shit, dreading the comments about your body, your ideology, your choice of partner, dreading your dad's sexist jokes or your mom's racist jokes, dreading seeing that uncle who should be in jail, dreading having your parenting skills audited, dreading coming out which you are totally doing this year, or just generally fed up with the holidays, go for it.

(If you are having urgent thoughts of self-harm, do not leave a comment; please contact emergency services immediately.)

And if you are undilutedly joyful about the holiday season, can't wait to see your family, and are walking on a cloud of sparking white snowflakes, enjoy the absolute fuck out of it. That's not snark; I mean it. That is a rare and precious gift, worth lingering moments of conscious appreciation.

As always, please don't offer advice, unless it is explicitly solicited. Sometimes people just need to grouse, and need solidarity rather than the offer of solutions they may well have already tried.

[Image via.]

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This Is Not Good

[Content Note: Violence. There may be images of violence at some links, as news reports get updated, so please proceed with caution.]


This is very, very not good, not only because someone has been killed, but also because of the potential geopolitical implications of that harm.


(Leah's tweets shared with her permission.)

The Guardian: "Russian ambassador to Turkey shot dead in Ankara art gallery."

BBC: "Russian ambassador to Turkey Andrei Karlov shot dead in Ankara."

I don't have expertise in this area to be able to provide much meaningful commentary, but I did want to let you know what's happening.

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Zelda the Black and Tan Mutt sleeping underneath a Christmas tree
Zelly snoozes under Uncle Deeky's Christmas tree.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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Internet Culture in the Trump Era

[Content Note: Internet harassment, rape culture, description of sexual assault]

One thought I keep coming back to about Election 2016 is that it all feels like the people who rage on the Internet about Rogue One and the Ghostbusters reboot have won.

I don't believe any single cause explains the election results and it is not my intent today to suggest otherwise. It's more that, in a way, I find that many of the post-election analyses I've read seem quaint in what is assumed about the electorate in the Internet age. Although I joined Twitter in 2009 and used it sparsely then, I picked it back up about a year ago. What I saw as I followed Election 2016 is that news and narratives happen very fast on Twitter - and related, so does the cruelty.

As Twitter users would live-Tweet the debates, they would instantly begin creating hashtags and memes about memorable moments and quotes. It wouldn't be until the next day, and sometimes later, that traditional media would catch up, running a story about a popular hashtag or quote. I annoyed my wife many times when she'd try to relay a bit of news to me only for me to inform her that people on Twitter had that conversation, like, 36 hours ago. Which is practically a month in Twitter time.

I began to see that people active on social media, and Twitter especially, were having different experiences of Election 2016 than people who were not. I find Trump's Electoral College win devastating for many reasons, especially because I place it into the context of Internet harassment culture. Traditional media (for now) somewhat care about "the alt-right," but I think many of us who have been engaged in social media for a long time have felt frustrated by many mainstream institutional responses (or lack thereof) to the ongoing, online radicalization of aggressive (often white) men.

Now, I wonder how (a) Internet's longstanding harassment culture might have contributed to the normalization of Trump's online (and offline) cruelty, and (b) what his presence might mean for Internet harassment culture going forward.

The Culture of Harassment

I find it odd that some in traditional media are still stereotyping liberals as out-of-touch Harvard academics and conservatives as rural, simple folk who can only access the "outside world" via telegraph and the Pony Express. The Internet has famously made us more connected than ever, able to directly interact with people holding every sort of opinion imaginable. I think many of us experience this as a mixed bag.

Pew Research Centers reports widespread Internet usage in the US, only slightly less in rural respondents (83%) compared to urban (88%), with similar disparities corresponding to income and education levels. Looking at social media, 67% of rural Internet users use Facebook (compared to 74% urban) and 15% of rural Internet users use Twitter (compared to 30% of urban). Nearly all social media users view or engage in political conversations with other users, expressing varying levels of satisfaction and annoyance about doing so (as we do).

That is, most Americans use the Internet, engage in social media, and are aware that the Internet is a place where political discourse occurs. On this basis, I contend that most Internet users likely also understand two things quite well:

  • Cruelty/harassment are widely accepted as part of the Internet user experience; and 
  • Donald Trump overtly used social media and the Internet to engage in cruelty as a political weapon (even if some would not label it as such).
I acknowledge that people of all political persuasions, and supporters of all candidates in this election, engage in cruelty on the Internet. What I believe is without precedent is the way that Donald Trump, acting in his capacity as a candidate for the highest office in the land, explicitly used social media to engage in harassment against his opponents and critics - a trend that has continued since his Electoral College win.

Because I believe many media companies have already profited massively by publicizing Trump's mean Tweets, I won't link to lists of his worst ones. But, by Googling them, we find that he has a well-documented history of using Twitter to question President Obama's legitimacy, to bestow stigmatizing nicknames on his opponents, and to engage in petty feuds with people who have offended him. Although many journalists in the 2016 Election were invested in a "both sides are just as bad" narrative, Hillary Clinton's campaign simply did not use social media in this way.

The media often reports about his bad Internet behavior, but like so much Internet cruelty, it's shrugged away because of a dominant consensus that the Internet is a place where bad things happen and that's that. I don't believe the Internet has somehow made us worse as people; it's just a platform that reveals who people are in this new-ish context where boundary-setting is often mocked as a sign of weakness and "political correctness."

I find a stark insincerity within the ridicule of those who want to make the Internet a better place.

We know that civility in human interaction, whether online or off, doesn't "just happen" among people with differing opinions without boundaries being established. We know that when boundaries don't exist or aren't enforced that the mean people win (that's partly why boundaries exist). We create the conditions for civility by building the appropriate structures. Courtrooms have rules of decorum and procedures for this reason. Boardrooms develop rules of order. Debate participants, at least in high schools and colleges, are held to format requirements. Even in boxing and martial arts, participants fight according to agreed-upon rules, and it's often a grave taboo for these rules to be intentionally violated.

And yet, with the Internet, we see a widespread norm of "anything goes."

An entire language is built upon defending this culture of harassment. Use of specific vocabulary terms signifies that the speaker is part of this culture and that, although they believe themselves very strong, they also say they are oppressed by boundary-setting (what they call "the thought police"): "SJWs," "cucks," "political correctness," "censorship," "butthurt." These are words that mean little, or something very different, outside of a specific context of Internet harassment culture.

The twin arguments within this culture are that (a) the world simply doesn't have time to be empathetic to SJW concerns because there are more important issues in the world and (b) there is somehow time to develop a special dictionary of harassment terminology and engage in said harassment to shut these SJWs down.

I acknowledge that the cultivation of civil Internet spaces is hard to do well and does actually take time. Creating rules and moderating forums takes human, financial, policy, and technology resources, resources which many companies frankly do not invest, or they do invest but struggle with finding appropriate balances in keeping users safe. I also believe that the tech industry's much-discussed culture of excluding women and minorities plays a role in the widespread failure to prioritize this issue.

I wonder, has this too-casual, too-libertarian attitude about Internet harassment bled over into offline space, condoning Trump's grotesque presidential bid? How often do we hear, "Avoid the comments" and "Don't feed the trolls"? How often do we read another article about another woman getting harassed off of social media, with the platform taking no meaningful action to address the issue? How often do you read the comments, even after the most benign, non-political post ever and see an entire storm of the most bigoted shit unfold before your eyes?

I'm under no illusion that politicians or the populace were civil before the Internet age, but I do believe even just 15 years ago a candidate who mocked a disabled reporter, was on record calling women "fat pigs," and admitted on tape to grabbing women's genitals without their consent would have been disqualifying traits. Yet, as this weird (but that's another post) article on transparency suggests, some equated Trump's cruelty with authenticity, which apparently made him "a rare commodity in American politics: someone willing to communicate candidly with minimal self-censoring."

The cruelty is accepted because it's seen as "real" but also, I argue, because it's of a type that is so very common on the Internet and so devoid of consequences for people who engage in it.

Internet Culture Going Forward

What does it mean now to have a President-elect who engages in Internet cruelty, without apology, and who has this cruelty amplified to his millions of Twitter followers and by everyone who reports on and retweets it?

For one, isn't it all so.... awkward for cyberbullying initiatives, particularly government-sponsored ones, to exist? How would Melania Trump have absolutely any moral capital with which to address this issue, as she has said she wants to? How does the government have moral standing on this issue, more broadly? Do as we say, not as your President does? The rules don't apply to him!

Two, as someone long interested in the topic of Internet civility, what I've learned is that cyberbullying is widely thought of as kids inflicting harm upon other kids, sometimes to very tragic ends. When adults do the same sorts of things to other adults, the lingo transforms from "cyberbullying" into subjective matters of interpretation that are placed in tension with other people's free speech "rights." (Scare quotes because people get very confused about the First Amendment).

The free speech "rights" of those with more power in the scenario, or on the platform, usually trump other people's safety concerns.

I believe Trump's Electoral College win to be a significant moment in the Internet harassment narrative. It certainly seems like the mean people have won, for now, and yet I'm always more concerned with the voices we lose because of the Internet's privileging of cruelty. Trump and his fans are at war with political correctness (aka, empathy), while his thin-skinned reactions to Saturday Night Live parodies suggest that he himself expects all the empathy.

I wonder what it would look like for Melania to truly take on cyber-bullying.

I imagine that, in the Trump era, some people will be seen as worth defending. If you criticize Donald J. Trump, you're probably just not one of them.

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Two Things

[Content Note: Authoritarianism; violent rhetoric.]

1. Me at Shareblue: Trump's refusal to acknowledge Russian interference is "deeply damaging to the country" and raises "the specter of treason."

At the last press conference he gave — in July, months before the intelligence community alerted the parties about hacking — Trump invited the Russians to hack the State Department: "Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 e-mails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press."

Incredibly, after he publicly invited Russian hacking to harm his opponent, Trump is now claiming he is not ready to "accept the conclusion" that Russian hacking interfered in the election to influence its outcome.

This claim beggars belief.

The position is so clearly, as Schiff noted, "deeply damaging to the country" that John Shattuck, a former assistant secretary of state for democracy, human rights, and labor, writes in the Boston Globe: "A specter of treason hovers over Donald Trump."
2. Alison Parker at Shareblue: Trump offers chilling praise to his "vicious, violent" supporters.
To gleefully imply that his election owes at least some credit to the frightening and despicable actions of some of his supporters is repugnant, and is precisely the opposite of “presidential” behavior. But considering Trump could barely bring himself to utter more than two words — "Stop it." — in reproach when directly challenged to address the violence and bigotry among his crowds, it is, unfortunately, in keeping with who he is, as a future president and as a human being.

Moreover, his invocation of violent behavior not to condemn it but to praise its efficacy only invites more of the same in future. There is no value in acknowledging that his supporters are "mellow" as they "bask in the glory of victory," except inasmuch as it serves to congratulate them on using any means necessary to achieve what they want.

Thus there is little to stop any of them from resorting to nastiness and violence in the future, when there is a new goal in mind. If there is a bill they want passed or killed, if there is a nominee for an office or judgeship they want confirmed or rejected, if there is a resistance movement they want to silence and conquer, they have been implicitly told by their new President-elect that the means to achieve those ends is to ramp up the violence again.

"Because we won, right?"
There is much more at both links.

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Open Thread

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Hosted by a purple sofa. Have a seat and chat.

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The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Beloved Community Pub'
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

Belly up to the bar,
and be in this space together.

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President Obama Has Words for the Media, and for the GOP

President Obama gave his last press conference of the year today, and he had a few choice words for the media, and for Republicans, and their abetting of Russian interference in our election. I've got a post about it at Shareblue, with video, transcripts, and the expected commentary. *wink*

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Recommended Reading

Adam Entous and Ellen Nakashima at the Washington Post: FBI backs CIA view that Russia intervened to help Trump win election.

[Content Note: Racism] AP: Trump calls on Pennsylvania crowd to cheer African-Americans who 'didn't come out to vote'.

Matthew Chapman at Shareblue: In North Carolina, Republicans are waging an all-out assault on democracy.

Phil Stewart at Reuters: China's Navy seizes American underwater drone in South China Sea.

[CN: White supremacy] David Neiwert at SPLC: Stephen Bannon's inclusion at ZOA dinner opens rift among American Jewish groups.

[CN: White supremacy] Jamelle Bouie at Slate: Brothers in White Resentment: What gave us Donald Trump is what gave us Dylann Roof.

[CN: Bigotry] Dianna E. Anderson at Shareblue: Coalition of faith and community leaders urge Congress to reject Trump's 'cabinet of bigotry'.

[CN: Anti-choice terrorism] Katie Klabusich at The Establishment: Health care workers brace for anti-abortion violence in the Age of Trump.

T.R. Ramachandran at Shareblue: How the U.S. political press enabled a post-truth America — Part 3.

Andy Towle at Towleroad: Michael Stipe joins Stephen Colbert to shred 2016 with 'It's the End of the Year as We Know It'.

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Olivia the White Farm Cat sleeping on the top of a couch cushion, with her big tail a-dangling
Look at that big old rope of a tail! LOVE.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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YES!

I've got a new piece at Shareblue about Rep. Elijah Cummings continuing to kick ass, which includes a video (with complete transcipt) of the Congressman during an interview with CNN's Chris Cuomo this morning. He said, in part:

[T]here has been hacking by the Russians. We're clear on that. It goes up to the highest levels of the Russian government. We're clear on that.

And this is like, as the former CIA director said, this is like a 9/11 for us. And we should be addressing it in a very serious and, it must be, an independent way. And that's why Congressman Swalwell and I have proposed legislation and put forth legislation to make this more of a 9/11-type commission to actually look at what is going on.

Chris, I've said it for weeks — that this is a struggle for the soul of our democracy. ...We have no time—we have no time for partisanship here.
Head on over to read the whole thing. And if you'd like to send your support to Rep. Cummings, his Twitter handle is: @RepCummings.

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Here Are Four Things I Read over the Past Week

[Content Note: Nuclear proliferation; war.]

1. Russia Tests Nuclear-Capable Drone Sub:

Russia conducted a test of a revolutionary nuclear-capable drone submarine that poses a major strategic threat to U.S. ports and harbors.

U.S. intelligence agencies detected the test of the unmanned underwater vehicle, code-named Kanyon by the Pentagon, during its launch from a Sarov-class submarine on Nov. 27, said Pentagon officials familiar with reports of the test.

No details were available about the location or results of the test.

Pentagon spokesman Capt. Jeff Davis declined to comment. "We closely monitor Russian underwater military developments, but we will not comment specifically about them," Davis said.
2. From Rick Perry, to Russia, with love:
In early October, as Americans obsessed about their presidential election, the Russian government made a surprise and otherwise unnoticed decision: It would unilaterally suspend a 16-year old agreement with the United States requiring Moscow to get rid of dozens of tons of weapons-grade plutonium -- used to make nuclear weapons.

This was the latest in a long string of nuclear arms control agreements that Moscow had decided to ditch, irritated with U.S. opposition over Ukraine and worse, sanctions that crippled the Russian economy. Under President Vladimir Putin, the Russian government has abrogated two other nuclear disarmament agreements, suspended outside inspections and just plain skipped the last nuclear security summit.
3. Swedish towns told to 'make preparations regarding the threat of war and conflict' with Russia:
Sweden's towns and villages have been ordered to make preparations for a possible military attack in the latest sign of the country's growing anxiety at its newly belligerent Russian neighbour.

The country's Civil Contingency Agency (MSB) last week sent a letter to local authorities across the country asking them to maintain operations centres in underground bunkers, ensure that a system of emergency sirens is in place, and to be open to cooperating on war exercises with the Swedish Armed Forces.

"In a state of war, civil defence for municipalities is no different from any of the other services they should provide," the letter read, instructing local governments to "ensure their ability to maintain their functions during disturbed situations, and at the most extreme, in a war scenario."
4. Russia to 'expand mobile nuclear missile patrols' near European borders in 2017:
Russia is planning to expand mobile missile patrols near its borders with Europe in 2017, a senior commander has announced.

Col Gen Sergei Karakaev, commander of Russia's strategic missile forces, said pontoon technology meant nuclear weapons could "overcome practically any water obstacle" to move to new areas, according to a translation by the BBC.

He claimed the missiles had a "global reach and enormous destructive power," adding: "In the current geopolitical situation, the Strategic Nuclear Forces are the guarantor of the security of the Russian Federation and its allies, as well as the independence of its foreign and domestic policy."

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Here We Go

My colleague and friend Alison Parker at Shareblue: "Obama promises action against Russia for interfering in U.S. election."

Speaking to NPR, President Obama made it clear that his administration plans to take action against Russia for their unprecedented interference in the U.S. presidential election:
In an interview with NPR's Steve Inskeep that will air Friday on Morning Edition, Obama said, 'I think there is no doubt that when any foreign government tries to impact the integrity of our elections … we need to take action. And we will — at a time and place of our own choosing. Some of it may be explicit and publicized; some of it may not be.'
U.S. intelligence officials have a "high level of confidence" that Russian President Vladimir Putin personally orchestrated the intrusion into our electoral process.

With few exceptions, Republicans in Congress are doing little to nothing to properly respond to this appalling violation of our democracy, on which Obama also commented:
'The irony of all this, of course, is that for most of my presidency, there's been a pretty sizable wing of the Republican Party that has consistently criticized me for not being tough enough on Russia,' he said. 'Some of those folks during the campaign endorsed Donald Trump, despite the fact that a central tenet of his foreign policy was we shouldn't be so tough on Russia. And that kind of inconsistency I think makes it appear, at least, that their particular position on Russia on any given day depends on what's politically expedient.'
Damn. And right. And YES.

The President will hold a press conference today at 2:15pm ET.

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Open Thread

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Hosted by a pink sofa. Have a seat and chat.

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