[Content Note: Pranks; bullying; hostility to consent; child abuse.]
Pranks are inherently predatory. The entire intent of pranking is to get one up on someone who is vulnerable, by virtue of their trusting the prankster because of an existing relationship or by virtue of being deliberately denied relevant information or by virtue of having an expectation of safety or security or normalcy. Pranks are also, by their very nature, hostile to consent, because most pranks don't work if the person being pranked is able to give enthusiastic consent to whatever is about to be done to and/or around them.
Taking advantage of someone for a laugh, betraying their trust for one's own amusement, is a shitty, bullying thing to do.
And when a parent does it to a child, it's abusive.
So it is that every year I rage*seethe*boil when Jimmy Kimmel's "parents prank their kids by telling them they ate all their Halloween candy" video goes viral. (He also has an equally terrible Garbage Christmas Present prank.) Here is a typical write-up of this year's video, headlined: "Jimmy Kimmel makes kids cry again with 5th annual Halloween candy prank."
And, naturally, the fact that he's "making kids cry" is supposed to be hilarious: "'I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy' challenge is back for its fifth year and it's better than ever. The Kimmel Show says they received a record number of submissions this year. Like the years before, the videos were filled with many tears, screams and tantrums. Watch the hilarious video..."
I watched the video, which I will neither post nor transcribe, and I did not not find it hilarious, because, as you well know, I am the Most Humorless Feminist in all of Nofunnington. And I seem to lack the circuit in my humor center that makes one laugh at image after image of tiny children being hoodwinked by their parents in the cruelest way, so those children can be the butt of a joke on national television.
One of the most casual forms of emotional abuse that parents commit on their children is the denial of their pain, because it seems trivial. It is crucial for parents to validate children's feelings, even and especially when they are upset. Here, parents set out to deliberately cause that "trivial" pain, and then laugh at their children experiencing it.
The thing about parents pranking their kids—and I cannot believe I need to write this—is that it fundamentally shatters children's security and trust in the idea that their parents will not harm them. (Which, in some of these families, may never have existed in the first place.) The takeaway for a child whose parents like to prank them is that their parent(s) might harm them, and no amount of "JUST KIDDING!" can fully repair the crack in the edifice of what should be an inviolable trust.
Parents who prank, tease, and ridicule their own kids, even if they're "just kidding," do so at the risk of their kids' ability to feel safe even in their own homes. That is not a risk any parent should be willing to take with a child.
And somehow, I don't imagine that "but I only did it so people could laugh at your despair on NATIONAL TELEVISION!" would bring a whole lot of comfort.
Parents—or other older family members, guardians, adult friends of the family—playing pranks on kids is also a dangerous communication—even if an unintentional one—that consent doesn't matter.
Kids who are taught by the adults they are meant to trust that consent doesn't matter are more likely to themselves be hostile to other people's consent. It's tough to, for example, convincingly teach your kid not to bully other kids while simultaneously teaching your kid that whether someone wants something done to them doesn't matter, as long as it's "funny."
And kids who are taught that consent doesn't matter are also more likely to have difficulty drawing boundaries for themselves, because they haven't learned they're even allowed to have inviolable boundaries. Particularly if a child's protests to pranking have been met with shaming that implies they're humorless or oversensitive or unfun, a child will also learn that speaking up on one's own behalf, in one's own defense, will yield more harm, rather than less.
Certainly, there are people who were pranked by their parents as kids who feel quite strongly they enjoyed the familial pranks and have no lasting effects from it. And maybe that is absolutely true for every one of those people, and maybe some of those people are less respectful of others' boundaries than they have really investigated. Either way, it's irrelevant.
The point is that parental pranking stands to communicate to a child that consent doesn't matter. And that is a very dangerous message to convey to anyone. Ever.
Stop it, parents. Just stop.
I Hate This Every Year
Oh Snap!
So, the Republican presidential candidates have been complaining bitterly about the last CNBC debate, because the questions were unfair blah blah yawn.
Last night, at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser in New York City, President Obama had something to say about that:
Have you noticed that every one of these candidates say, uh, "Obama's weak! He's, you know— Putin's kicking sand in his face! When I talk to Putin, he's gonna straighten out! Just looking at him, I'm gonna—he's gonna be..." [laughter] And then, it turns out, they can't handle a buncha CNBC moderators at the debate! [laughter, cheers, and applause] I mean, lemme tell ya: If ya can't handle— If you can't handle those guys...? [laughter] You know, then I don't think the Chinese and the Russians are going to be too worried about you. [laughter]BOOM.
President Obama is making a great point here, even though it's cloaked in deserved ridicule. Among the Republican field, there's a distinct lack of diplomatic skill and an abundance of agita. And that is a real concern. Because the office of the president requires diplomacy and patience and grace, particularly in international relations.
Despite their omnipresent argument against Obama in '08 that he was unqualified and had too little experience for the presidency, Republicans now want us to accept a number of candidates—including field leaders Donald Trump and Ben Carson—who have never held political office. As though business negotiations are the same as diplomatic negotiations. They are, in fact, fundamentally different.
And even the GOP candidates who have held office are long on aggrieved petulance and short on measured strategy.
It's not like there aren't Republicans who have the experience and temperament for the job: Condoleezza Rice, for example. I may disagree with her on just about everything, but I wouldn't fear that she'd be an international disgrace when hosting a state dinner or meeting with the G8 leaders.
There just isn't anyone who has those credentials and constitution currently running. To the contrary, every one of their candidates would be a disaster on the global stage.
Say what you will about Obama being too cool at times, but his thoughtful approach has meant that he's never made a complete ass—or even a partial ass!—of himself representing this country.
Which is certainly more than one can say for our last Republican president.
That doesn't mean I've always agreed with President Obama's foreign policy decisions—I haven't—but policy and politics aren't the same thing. Which is easy to forget in the US, where our president is both head of government and head of state.
The Republican Party seems to have forgotten this altogether. Their candidates are all running for head of government, but not a single one of them is running for head of state.
Quote of the Day
[Content Note: Cancer.]
"We can't prematurely claim that we've achieved our ultimate goal, because we haven't; this really is a single step along that path. But it's a very important and very significant step."—Dr. Stephen Russell, a researcher at the Mayo Clinic who specializes in oncologyc virotherapy, on the "huge milestone" in cancer treatment development that is T-VEC (tamilogene laherparepvec)—"a single treatment that can intelligently target cancer cells while leaving healthy ones alone, and simultaneously stimulates the immune system to fight the cancer itself...by introducing a specially modified form of the herpes virus by injection directly into a tumour—specifically skin cancer, the indication for which the drug has been cleared for use."
The FDA approved T-VEC last week; it will be sold under the brand name Imlygic.
Imlygic itself has an officially fairly modest effect coming out of its clinical studies—an average lifespan increase of less than five months. But underneath that data, Russell said anecdotally that in his Mayo clinic studies in mice, some programmable viruses saw "large tumours completely disappearing."Just a single step, but a big one.
The goal, he said, was to get to the point where the clinical trials would see similarly dramatic outcomes, so that chemotherapy and radiotherapy could finally be consigned to medical history.
The Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by fuzzy paws.
Recommended Reading:
Irma: I Have a Voice: Autistics Speaking Day 2015
Kenrya: [Content Note: Racism; colonialism] Right Now: Native Hawaiians Are Voting to Create Independent Government
Jenn: [CN: War on agency] There's Now One Abortion Provider for Every Million Wisconsin Women
Shane: [CN: Racism] What Makes the Quintessential Englishman?
L.G. Jeremiah Nebula Has Come to Life to Tell You That Black Boys Love Pink
Laura: Viola Davis' Biggest Fan, Her Daughter, Dressed as Her for Halloween
And two pieces from David:
President Obama Being Supercute with ALL THE LITTLE KIDS
and
Hillary Clinton Being Supercute with A LITTLE GIRL DRESSED AS HER
*faints from all the cute*
Leave your links and recommendations in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!
Meanwhile...
[Content Note: Misogyny; disablism; antisemitism.]
Meanwhile, Carly Fiorina's fellow GOP candidate and gold toilet aficionado Donald Trump launched a gross attack on Democratic National Committee chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, in the midst of a conversation about the national parties and debate negotiations:
On the Democratic side, Trump said, "[y]ou have this crazy Wasserman Schultz — Deborah Wasserman Schultz — who is in there, a highly neurotic woman."Leaving aside his absurd contention that Hillary Clinton got nothing but "softball" questions during the last debate, I just want to deal with how Trump once again cannot say anything about a woman without making it a personal attack. She is "crazy" and "highly neurotic"—specifically a "highly neurotic woman"—which is not only a gendered attack that's an obvious variation on hysterical, but is also nakedly disablist.
"This is a woman that is a terrible person. I watch her on television. She's a terrible person," Trump continued. "And in all fairness, she negotiated a great deal for Hillary because they gave Hillary all softballs."
What might be less obvious to lots of folks is the antisemitic dogwhistle of calling Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who is the first Jewish female congressperson from the state of Florida, "neurotic," which invokes a stereotype of Jewish people—especially in Trump's home of New York City—as high-strung, hypochondriacal neurotics with their analysts on speed-dial.
The people to whom that dogwhistle is directed will hear it loud and clear.
I hear you, too, Donald Trump. You contemptible nightmare.
LOL WHUT
[Content Note: Misogyny.]
GOP presidential candidate and corporate power-failure Carly Fiorina has been subjected to a number of misogynist attacks, especially regarding her appearance, during this campaign (often from fellow candidate Donald Trump). Which is completely shitty. There is plenty for which to criticize Fiorina on the merits; anyone who has to resort to criticizing her appearance is a lazy, uninformed, misogynistic asshole.
But, while I will defend Fiorina against misogynist attacks, just as I defend Clinton, because that's how feminism works, Fiorina, who positions herself as an Exceptional Woman in every conceivable way, won't even recognize that what happens to her happens to other women, to an absolutely incredible, laughable degree:
Fox News host John Roberts pointed out that hosts of ABC's The View had said that Fiorina looked "demented" because she forced herself to smile throughout the Republican presidential debate.Carly Fiorina thinks that Hillary Clinton hasn't been subjected to attacks on the basis of her appearance?! LOL FOREVERRRRRR. Either Fiorina literally hasn't even the most basic familiarity with US politics even as she is trying to run for the nation's highest office, or she is just a shameless goddamn liar.
"Is there a double standard here for Republican women?" Roberts asked. "I can't imagine that they would say things like that about Hillary Clinton."
"Oh, ya think? Yeah," Fiorina replied. "I think there’s a double standard… There is nothing more threatening to the liberal media in general and to Hillary Clinton in particular than a conservative woman. So, of course there's a double standard."
"Conservative women from Sarah Palin to Michele Bachmann to Carly Fiorina are long used to this," she added.
During the '08 election, 114 (!!!) incidents of misogyny directed at Hillary Clinton, many of them about her appearance, were documented in this space alone. There are even more since I started the Hillary Sexism Watch label in 2013. Clinton has been subjected to mockery of her appearance since she was the First Lady of Arkansas.
I've got news for Carly Fiorina: If you really don't know that, then you aren't qualified to lead this country. Period. And if you do know about it, and frankly I don't know how you couldn't, unless you've been living on another planet for three decades, then it doesn't do you any fucking good to lie about it.
Individual solutions to systemic problems don't work, Ms. Fiorina. It's a truth about your garbage policies, and it's a truth about your identity. Just because you don't want to be victimized by the Patriarchy, just because you want to pretend the Patriarchy doesn't even exist, doesn't make it so. You can't exceptionalize yourself out of the realities of womanhood, lady.
Because the Patriarchy won't let you.
Daily Dose of Cute
One of my favorite pix of Dudley ever.
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
In the News
Here is some stuff in the news today...
[Content Note: Guns; shooting; death] Four people, including the shooter, are dead in Colorado Springs after a man walked out onto the street and started shooting. He killed one man and two women. This has barely made a blip in the national news. That's how inured we've become to these sorts of shootings. Three people killed by a shooter who was then killed by police, in the middle of the road, and it's just routine. Another day in the USA. My deepest condolences to the victims' families, friends, and colleagues, and to the Colorado Springs community.
[CN: Descriptions of violence and sexual assault; police brutality] Think of this story next time you hear some asshole insisting that survivors of sexual violence are obliged to report their assault to police: "In a yearlong investigation of sexual misconduct by U.S. law enforcement, The Associated Press uncovered about 1,000 officers who lost their badges in a six-year period for rape, sodomy, and other sexual assault; sex crimes that included possession of child pornography; or sexual misconduct such as propositioning citizens or having consensual but prohibited on-duty intercourse. ...[A] simple question—how many law enforcement officers are accused of sexual misconduct—has no definitive answer. The federal Bureau of Justice Statistics, which collects police data from around the country, doesn't track officer arrests, and states aren't required to collect or share that information. To measure the problem, the AP obtained records from 41 states on police decertification, an administrative process in which an officer's law enforcement license is revoked. ...The AP's findings, coupled with other research and interviews with experts, suggest that sexual misconduct is among the most prevalent type of complaint against law officers."
[CN: Guns; vigilantism] Welp: "A customer with a concealed carry license shot and killed an armed man [allegedly] attempting to rob a Chicago neighborhood store, police said Sunday. ...No one else was hurt during the incident. It wasn't immediately clear whether the customer, who has not been identified, will face charges. Guglielmi said preliminary details suggest the customer was not at fault, but that the case was under review by local prosecutors. ...Meanwhile, a relative of the dead man expressed doubt about the police account of what occurred, the Chicago Tribune reported. 'Something doesn't seem right,' said Igbinosa Oronsaye, whose mother was married to Gildersleeve. 'Reggie doesn't even own a gun. He couldn't own a gun if he wanted to.'"
[CN: Homophobia] Damn: "The Parliament of Northern Ireland on Monday passed, then vetoed, a resolution that would have legalized same-sex marriage. Northern Ireland remains the only part of the UK where same-sex marriage is not legal. Assembly members passed the marriage equality legislation by a slim majority only to have it vetoed because of a parliamentary procedure that is allowed under the region's coalition government. While the vote failed to enact lasting change for same-sex couples in the region, it did however show that political support had increased for marriage equality in Northern Ireland."
[CN: Misogynist terrorism] This woman is so brave: "Afghanistan hosted an international marathon this month—the first marathon ever to be held in the country. ...More than 60 amateur and professional runners participated, including people from the United States and Canada, as well as runners from Afghanistan. Although about a dozen local schoolgirls participated in the shorter 10 kilometer race, only one Afghan woman ran the entire marathon. Zainab, who is 25, spoke out about the her experience running in the marathon and the backlash she faced. "It is not easy for a woman to leave the house by herself, let alone running outside," Zainab said, admitting that she faced a lot of street harassment during the year she spent training for this event. ...'I have plans for the future—I have goals,' Zainab said. She spoke of her time visiting women in colleges in Afghanistan, 'The girls—all of them are really quiet, and they don't laugh. I invited them to laugh, to be happy.' Afghan women have participated in marathons in foreign countries before, but this was the first time an Afghan woman ran in a marathon within her own country."
Get ready to be excited! "Battered by weeks of negative headlines, Republican Jeb Bush launches a campaign reboot on Monday with a 'Jeb Can Fix It' tour and release of an e-book that reveals a more personal side to a 2016 candidate who has struggled on the public stage." Jeb Can Fix It? Woof.
In other Republican dude news: RIP Fred Thompson. My condolences to the people who cared for and admired him.
Yuck: "Dozens of Chipotle restaurants in Washington and Oregon are temporarily closing due to an outbreak of E. coli. Health officials have linked 19 cases in Washington and three in Oregon to Chipotles in those states. Eight people have been hospitalized: Seven from Washington, one from Oregon. According to the Washington State Department of Health, though the outbreak appears to be connected to food served at Chipotle, the specific source of contamination has yet to be determined and is still under investigation. The restaurants have closed voluntarily while awaiting updated information."
Wowwwwww these pictures of Saturn's Icy Moon Enceladus taken by NASA's Cassini spacecraft! Amazing!
LOLOLOLOLOL: "President Obama Couldn't Handle This Kid's Adorable Pope Halloween Costume." Perfection.
And finally! Dog in a baby swing. Never not cute.
Good News
[Content Note: Carcerality; racism; class warfare.]
Today, President Obama will announce executive action to assist people who have been convicted of crimes:
President Obama on Monday will announce a series of measures designed to reduce obstacles facing former prisoners reintegrating into society, including an executive order directing federal employers to delay asking questions about a job applicant's criminal history until later in the application process.This is by no means a comprehensive solution to overpolicing, mass incarceration, and the subsequent fallout of convictions even for people who don't reoffend, but it is an important step. It is, particularly, an important step to take for people who are disproportionately targeted by the criminal justice system and who are already disadvantaged by hiring practices, i.e. poor people of color.
Many states, cities and private employers have already taken steps to "ban the box," which refers to the checkbox on employment applications asking if the applicant has ever been convicted of a crime. However, some federal employers and contractors still ask the question.
Civil rights activists have urged Obama to propose the executive order, noting that such questions can limit the ability for people with a criminal record to gain employment and get their lives back on track after prison. Advocates argue that those formerly in prison should be allowed to prove their qualifications for a job instead of being eliminated early in the process due to their criminal background.
The issue has come up on the campaign trail, with all three Democratic presidential candidates pledging support for a "ban the box" policy.
Obama will also announce other initiatives designed to improve rehabilitation and re-entry for former inmates, including education and housing grants, as well as partnerships between local municipalities and private companies that would provide jobs and training in technology.
He will also propose more funding for legal aid programs and policies to reduce the legal hurdles for former prisoners applying for public housing, a process which also uses an applicant's criminal history as a factor in determining eligibility.
We say that people who have served their time deserve a second chance, but, in practice, there are precious few opportunities for second chances made available to people who have been convicted of felonies.
In related news: Hillary Clinton rolled out some of the key policies in her proposed racial justice reforms on Friday. At the same event, her speech was disrupted by Black Lives Matter activists, who were eventually escorted out of the venue. I still believe quite firmly that BLM protesters should be given the mic, literally invited to share candidates' platforms. Jamil Smith does an excellent job of covering both Clinton's proposals and the protest here: "Hillary Clinton's Racial Justice Platform Is Finally Taking Shape."
People can (and will) argue that activists and protesters aren't Doing It Right (and there are also legitimate differences of opinion on strategy within the diverse black anti-carceral activist community, which is different than the silencing masked as "criticism" I'm addressing here), but it's tough to argue that this approach is wrong, or ineffective, or whatever when the President and possible future president are rolling out criminal justice reforms that we all know damn well they wouldn't have without pressure from the activists and advocates who have been doing critical awareness-raising on these issues for decades.
LOL This Fu@#king Guy
[Content Note: Misogyny; class warfare; privilege. Video may autoplay at third link.]
Hey, remember when feminists were supposed to cheer Paul Ryan for wanting work-life balance for himself? And then a bunch of feminists (ahem) were soooooo ungrateful and uncharitable and unconvinced that Ryan was interested in work-life balance for anyone but himself? TYPICAL FEMINISTS.
All the mirthless laughter in the universe:
New Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) on Sunday dismissed Democrats' calls for a paid family leave law as another "federal entitlement," and said his position isn't at odds with recent remarks that he wants to spend weekends with his young family in Wisconsin.No, of course Paul Ryan isn't a hypocrite! He's just like the people he represents! They all want a work-life balance, too! The only difference is that he gets it. A minor detail.
"I don't think people asked me to be Speaker so I can take more money from hard-working taxpayers, so I can create some new federal entitlement," Ryan said during an appearance on Fox News Sunday. "But I think the public wants to have members of Congress that represent them, that are like them."
"Don't you want your member of Congress to be a citizen legislator who lives with you, among you, who has your own kinds of concerns, who wants to spend time with his children on Saturdays and Sundays?"
...But Democrats pounced on him, saying he's a hypocrite for wanting time with his own family while denying mandatory paid time off for other hard-working Americans.
Women, Amirite?
Let's all gaze at (or read the description of) this portrait of current Supreme Court Justices Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and former (and first female) Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, and think about how truly awesome these women are, how much exponentially better they had to be than so many of their male colleagues in order to achieve what they have in the era they did:
The women of the Supreme Court are the subjects of a new painting unveiled at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. on Monday.I was 7 in 1981, when Sandra Day O'Connor became the first woman nominated and appointed to the Supreme Court, and there was, naturally, much discussion among the adults in my sphere about her being the first. It was one of those key moments in my life as a female person, because I was old enough to understand that her being first meant that women hadn't been allowed.
..."The scale of this painting speaks to the grand accomplishments made by these four women and the example they set for future generations," museum director Kim Sajet said of the portrait. "I imagine this portrait will spark a conversation among young people, particularly young women, about breaking barriers."
Artist Nelson Shanks was commissioned by collectors Ian and Annette Cumming to paint the portrait. According to the Smithsonian, the painting is on loan to the museum for three years.
I can remember asking about whether a woman had been president, and feeling disappointed for reasons I didn't even fully understand when I was told no. Her nomination marks for me a point at which I began to realize that women had been kept out, a point at which I began to question why that was, and a point at which I first felt the burgeoning injustice that would bloom into my fiery feminism.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
An Observation
[Content Note: Hostility to consent.]
There is a video, which I am not sharing here for reasons that will become obvious, of North West, the two-year-old daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, being taken to ballet class by her nanny. (As an aside, her mother usually accompanies her to ballet class, but is currently heavily pregnant, which I suspect is why the nanny was taking her.) Paparazzi snap millions of photos and shoot video of her. In her little toddler voice, she says, "No pictures! I said no pictures!" Her nanny repeats, "She said no pictures."
The paparazzi make "Aww, how adorable!" noises, while they continue to take pictures of her.
Against her explicit request that they not.
The hostility to consent starts so fucking early.
Her "sassy" response to be photographed is "adorable," read the news stories. She is "taking control of her image," just like her parents!
They assign grown-up motivations to a child, and reduce her resistance to being exploited to something "cute," in order to justify this gross disrespect of her consent.
There are people who will certainly be inclined to argue that North West is fair game, because her parents are famous, and/or because her parents have shared images of her.
But those arguments are irrelevant—not least of which because her parents weren't there. North West was asserting her own agency. She was saying in her own voice that she didn't want her photo taken.
And everyone laughed at how adorable it was. This tiny female child imagining that what she wants matters.
I heard you, Nori.
The Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by chickens.
Recommended Reading:
Jenn: [Content Note: Police brutality; racism; xenophobia] Defense Attorneys Go "Full Xenophobia" in Blaming Indian Grandfather for Being Paralyzed By Cop
Anand: What Trans People Need to Know–and Do–to Make the Affordable Care Act Work for You
Jon: Trump, Like Romney, a Riches to Riches Story
Katie: [CN: Misogyny; pay inequality] Talking about Salaries with Your Coworkers
Matt: [CN: Image of bat at link] Bats Are Awesome
Adam: Halo 5: Guardians Has Something for Everyone, But Fails to Impress
CeCe: Got Thick Legs? Here Are 8 Gorgeous Wide Calf Boots
Leave your links and recommendations in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
David Bowie: "Love You Till Tuesday"
This week's TMNS brought to you by David Bowie tracks for films.
Daily Dose of Cute
LOL this dog.
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
