Mike Huckabee Won't Shut Up

[Content Note: Sexual abuse; rape apologia; Christian Supremacy.]

Last night, Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee appeared on Fox News with Megyn Kelly to further defend the Duggars and accuse the media of "exploiting" the Duggar family.

Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas, where the Duggar family resides, said he was "stunned and shocked" that the girls were "exploited in this by the media for their own purposes."

"There was no interest in the media to protect those girls. There was no interest to make sure that their interests were served. And I think your interview pointed out that they had a very different reaction to all of this than did their critics, who were out to destroy their family," Huckabee told Kelly, referencing an earlier interview with family members on "The Kelly File."
To recap: The Duggars made their daughters available to Fox News for a friendly interview after prepping with a crisis public relations specialist whose objective was strategizing the defense of their abuser. There is someone who is exploiting those women, but it's not "the media," by whom more effort was made to protect the identities of the victims than I have ever seen in any other case.

Huckabee went on to repeat the lie that making the records public violates state law, and then argued that Josh Duggar is "innocent" because the case was never adjudicated, despite his confession—and despite the fact that the case was not adjudicated because of his family's conspiracy of silence.
"Megyn, he is an unadjudicated minor at the time that this happened. You're an attorney. You understand that a person is innocent until proven guilty," Huckabee said.

"But he confessed," Kelly responded.

"He was never adjudicated, but he did not confess in a court of law. The law does not hold him accountable, even if he confesses," Huckabee said.

The bigger issue, he added, is that the girls were exploited by the "illegal, unlawful release" of the information surrounding their molestation.
"It was not about the victims. It was about trying to go after the Duggars. They have been known as a family that is a Christian family, and if a liberal has anything like this kind of situation, it's no big deal," Huckabee said.
He can say from here to Hope, Arkansas, and back again that the records were illegally released, but that will never make it true. And while I'm absolutely certain there are plenty of people who are delighted to see the Duggars brought down—some who simply have a thrill for destruction, some whose lives and very identities have been attacked by the Duggars, and many who have had long expressed concerns about the endemic abuse in patriarchally structured Quiverfull families—Huckabee's assertion that no liberal (which, despite Huckabee's implication, is not mutually exclusive from "Christian") cares about the victims is absurd.

It isn't conservatives who are the primary drivers behind deconstructing and dismantling the rape culture.

And if there's any doubt who really doesn't give a shit about Josh Duggar's victims, Huckabee provides this defense, without a trace of irony:
[H]e has not heard much about his support of the Duggars from people on the campaign trail.

"I never get a question about this unless it's to say, 'By the way, why is this such a big issue?'" he said.
That Huckabee's supporters don't understand why it's "a big issue" for any family to abet and conceal sexual abuse is terrifying. And it sure as shit isn't indicative of people who care about victims.

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Open Thread

image of three Newfoundland dogs, one brown one flanked by two black ones

Hosted by Newfoundlands.

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Question of the Day

When was the last time you laughed until your sides ached, or tears came from your eyes, or you were gasping for breath, or whatever happens to you when you are laughing just the hardest you can laugh?

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I Write Letters

Dear eHarmony:

I am a contentedly married atheist person in a monogamous partnership with no need to find a heterosexual-only Christian match. Please stop incessantly spamming me with your shitty advertisements.

Even if I were in search of someone, I would rather fuck rocks than use your service.

Good day.

Melissa McEwan

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The Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by ivy.

Recommended Reading:

Mariame: [Content Note: Police brutality; racism] Summer Heat

Mychal: [CN: Domestic violence; racism] Chris Brown Is the Poster Child for Intimate Partner Violence

Dani: [CN: Christian Supremacy; sexual assault; abetting abuse] Of Masculinity and Abusive Breeding Grounds

Jessie: [CN: White supremacy; misogynist terrorism; carcerality] Interview with Mikki Kendall about White Women, Feminism, and Race

Kath: [CN: Fat hatred; sexual objectification; disablism] Fat Activism Is Not About Your Boner

Charlotte: [CN: Disablism; self-harm; victim-blaming] I Asked for Help

Jake: [CN: Transphobia; misogyny] Jerry Seinfeld Says College Campuses Are Too PC for Comedians in Discussion on Caitlyn Jenner

THV: [CN: Moving gifs] Tom Hardy on How He Gets Buffed Up for His Roles

Leave your links and recommendations in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!

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Quote of the Day

[Content Note: Misogyny; choice policing. Video may autoplay at link.]

"To all the young people out there in particular, banish this… This is disgusting and vile. What if this is the only thing that survives in the time capsule?"—Tim Gunn, increasingly unlikeable, as he flipped through Kim Kardashian's selfie book Selfish.

A couple of thoughts:

1. If you don't like Kim Kardashian and/or don't like selfies, here's a thought: Don't pay any attention to Kim Kardashian and don't buy her book. That's my strategy, and it's working out great!

2. To be abundantly clear, I'm not suggesting that Kim Kardashian is above criticism. I just happen to disagree that rank misogyny and choice policing transparently disguised as cultural critiques are "criticism."

3. Again, I will point to this. That Vincent Van Gogh and all his self-portraits—disgusting and vile, amirite?!

4. This is a building in London. It is the National Portrait Gallery.

image of the exterior of the National Portrait Gallery in London

I have been there! It is a building literally filled with paintings commissioned by (mostly) dead old white people who lived before the age of mobile phones outfitted with cameras. And all those paintings are of themselves! Or other dead old white people they knew! None of them (that I recall) have their tongues sticking out in the photos, but, hey, there's no accounting for taste!

5. What if Kim Kardashian's book of selfies is "the only thing that survives in the time capsule"? A book full of pictures of a woman who is recording her own image, in total control of her own presentation? OH THE HORROR. The only problem with that being the only thing surviving in the time capsule is that it might suggest the woman's culture was a lot more accepting of female power than it actually was.

[Related Reading: Selfies; Selfies Again; #365feministselfie.]

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Kate Bush: "Rocket Man"

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This F#@king Guy

[Content Note: Transphobia; rape culture; disablist language.]

Former Arkansas governor, current Republican presidential candidate, and professor of Bible Bigotry Mike Huckabee continues to be an absolute dirtbag in every conceivable way.

After being widely criticized for his ha-ha joke about transgender women—in which he said he wished someone had told him "when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE. I'm pretty sure that I would have found my feminine side and said, 'Coach, I think I'd rather shower with the girls today.'"—Huckabee has doubled down, because of course he has:

"I take nothing back from that speech," Huckabee said Friday during an appearance on influential Iowa conservative Steve Deace's radio program.

"I'm kind of glad it's posted because people, if they watch the whole clip, what they're going to see is that I'm giving a commonsense answer to the insanity that's going on out there," Huckabee said, in comments reported by Right Wing Watch.

..."I hear people—everybody wants to be politically correct, everybody wants to be loved by the media and loved by the left and loved by the elitists," the presidential candidate said. "But, you know, I know I'm not going to be, so let's just get it over with. I'd rather be a commonsense candidate for people who did take their brains to work today."
Transphobia and rape culture is just "common sense." Now where have I heard that before? Oh, right. Michelle Duggar also saying that transphobia is "common sense" mere days ago.

What a coincidence!

Or maybe not: We all know that Mike Huckabee is BFFs with the Duggars, even defending their son's sexual abuse, and it turns out that the carefully orchestrated PR campaign the Duggars are running is being managed by a guy called Chad Gallagher, who just happens to be "Huckabee's longtime political adviser. Gallagher is the founder and principal of Legacy Consulting in Arkansas, and also oversees Huckabee's political action committee, HUCKPAC, which made the news earlier this year for awarding nearly $400,000 to Huckabee's own family."

As of last week, Huckabee was still saying "he'd love to have the Duggars campaign with him." And why not? They're all taking their plays from the same utterly revolting playbook. A bunch of disgusting peas in the same rotten pod.

[H/T to Aphra_Behn.]

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Larry Lomax Needs Your Teaspoons

by Shaker TinaH

[Content Note: Police brutality; racism; descriptions of violence.]

As part of my growing activism, fostered by my experiences and learning here at Shakesville as well as joining a faith community that works on social justice issues, I've gotten involved with the suburban Maryland Black Lives Matter movement. Repeatedly, I've seen how white supremacy plays out even on this activist front, and I am requesting your teaspoons on behalf of a man victimized by this continued injustice.

On the evening of May 2, 2015, many activists, including an African American man named Larry Lomax and a white woman named Kerridwen Henry, participated in nonviolent protests against the Baltimore curfew, which was imposed in response to the community's outrage over Freddie Gray's murder. Both of these people were arrested. Rob Brune, an independent journalist, videotaped both incidents.

If you can watch the video, please note it contains stark evidence of racist police violence. The video, especially between 0:52 and 3:10, shows the vast differences in how a black man and a white woman, doing the same things at the same times in the same places, were treated.

Lomax approached a police position to break the curfew with his hands at his sides, walking at a slow measured pace. The police raced up to him and pepper-sprayed him directly in the face. He reeled from this assault for a couple of seconds, pulled up his pants, and then a police officer yanked him down to the street by his hair. Several other officers pepper-sprayed into the crowd, chasing them off. Lomax was dragged to the corner, scraping him along the ground.

At that same corner, not minutes later, Henry, in the yellow shirt, also defied the curfew. She sat down, was handcuffed, was not pepper-sprayed, was not dragged to the street by her hair, and was taken into custody. She later reported that a police officer said to her, "I respect your cause. I'm just doing my job." She was released from jail the next evening.

Lomax, who was detained for almost a month, has been charged with assaulting the police. Henry is asking that people with mighty teaspoons call the Maryland State's Attorney at 443-984-6000 and ask that all charges against Larry Lomax be dropped. If charges against him are not dropped, he will have to go to court Tuesday.

This guest post has been written with the input and consent of Kerridwen Henry.

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Dudley the Greyhound lying on the loveseat, sound asleep with his tongue hanging out
Dudley Q. McEwan: Part giraffe, part horse, part cat, part dog, all goofball.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

[Content Note: War; terrorism] President Obama says the United States "does not yet have a 'complete strategy' for helping Iraq regain territory from Islamic State... He said the Pentagon was reviewing ways to help Iraq train and equip its forces. Mr Obama also said a full commitment to the process was needed by the Iraqis themselves. ...Mr Obama said that the 3,000 US service personnel in Iraq sometimes found themselves with 'more training capacity than we've got recruits'. 'We want to get more Iraqi security forces trained, fresh, well-equipped and focused and (Mr) Abadi wants the same thing so we're reviewing a range of plans for how we might do that,' Mr Obama told a news conference."

[CN: Police brutality; violence] Fucking hell: "A major hip-hop and R&B concert erupted into violence that included State Police lobbing tear gas at concertgoers who were throwing bottles at police in the parking lot. Witnesses say the disturbance began around 7 p.m. due to an altercation between concertgoers. That's when officials shut the gates to the show, the Hot 97 Summer Jam at the MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, causing a logjam of people at the MetLife gate, which in turn led to metal barriers being toppled and thrown. After concertgoers began throwing bottles in response, police then took up a defensive V-shaped position in front of the stadium gates as a barrage of bottles pelted the officers. ...Several rounds of tear gas were released into the crowd, and one concertgoer was Maced pepper-sprayed in the parking lot. Uniformed officers wearing helmets and gas masks and holding shields would briefly come out from behind the gates to make arrests before retreating."

[CN: Police brutality; racism] Officer Michael Slager, the police officer who killed Walter Scott then dropped a Taser by his dead body, has been indicted for murder. Again, I want to recommend this piece by Prison Culture, who wisely notes that, even when officers are convicted and even if they are sentenced, it will never truly be justice. Meaningful justice will only be achieved by dismantling the (in)justice system which is catastrophically contaminated by white supremacy. Which is a daunting task to contemplate, but the enormity of the task before us shouldn't let us treat as justice what will be, at best, limited individual accountability in a comprehensively corrupt system.

[CN: Police brutality; racism; self-harm] RIP Kalief Browder, who took his own life after spending "three years on Rikers Island without being convicted of a crime...waiting for a trial that never happened."

In good news, this tweet perfectly sums up why Serena Williams is THE FUCKING BEST.

Congratulations, Alison Bechdel! "The graphic novelist and recently-named MacArthur Genius [who] is the creator of the Bechdel Test, a 3-step checklist to determine whether or not a film does right by women [has] already made plenty of history. But last night she added to her list of accolades: Fun Home, a musical adaptation of Bechdel's 2006 best-selling graphic memoir of the same name, won five Tony Awards, including best new musical."

And in yet more good news for women: "Women Dominate The 2015 Nebula Awards: Last night in Chicago, the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America announced the winners of the Nebula Awards. The Award is one of the major honors in the science fiction field and is voted on by members of SFWA. ...With the exception of the Best Novel award, women swept the slate in all other categories." Woot!

[CN: Misogyny; violent rhetoric] India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi said in a speech yesterday: "I am happy that Bangladesh Prime Minister, despite being a woman, has declared zero tolerance for terrorism." Whoooooooooops your misogyny! Overnight, the hashtag #DespiteBeingAWoman became a beautiful rebuttal to this garbage.

[CN: Murder; domestic violence] Oh for fuck's sake: "Prison officials have recommended that Oscar Pistorius, the South African double-amputee Olympic athlete who killed [Reeva Steenkamp], be released from prison on 21 August for good behaviour after serving just 10 months and be moved to house arrest, the head of correctional services said on Monday. The news emerged on the same day the country's supreme court of appeal announced the prosecution's appeal against Pistorius's acquittal on a murder charge for killing Reeva Steenkamp would be heard in November."

Headline of the Day: "Westboro Baptist Church is a no-show at Gandalf and Dumbledore's magical wedding."

And finally! These pictures of an acrobatic Boston Terrier named Sadie are hilarious and amazing!

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Duggars, Continued

[Content Note: Descriptions of sexual abuse; rape apologia.]

The second part of the Duggars' damage control tour aired on Fox News Friday night, with Josh Duggar's sisters, and oldest victims, Jessa and Jill, picking up where their parents left off. In Touch continued its coverage of the Duggars' spin operation, calling out many of the "troubling contradictions, omissions, and distortions of fact" that the family continues to promulgate in defense of Josh Duggar.

There is a lot at the link about the Duggars' absurd contentions that they sufficiently addressed the abuse going on in their home; that they cooperated with authorities; that the information about the abuse has been illegally "leaked." There's also a new piece of information about how the Duggars "met with their own PR team to create a strategy for the interviews." In Touch found records that "a plane used by the Duggars...flew to the location of their crisis public relations specialist prior to giving these interviews in an attempt to save their TLC show." So, their priorities continue to be reprehensible.

It's no surprise, of course, that the Duggars hired someone to help them coordinate a strategy, which is partly why all of their responses sound exactly like. In their interview, Jessa and Jill parroted the same minimizing descriptions of Josh's abuse as their parents had:

[Jessa and Jill downplayed] the molestations as "subtle and mild." Echoing Jim Bob and Michelle's characterization of Josh's actions as "mild touching," Jessa said: "None of the victims were aware of what happened until Joshua confessed. The extent of it was mild – inappropriate touching on fully clothed victims, most of it while [the] girls were sleeping." She also added, "In the situations where it happened and the girls were awake they weren't aware of what was happening. It was very subtle."
It was gross rape apologia when Josh's parents were spinning this tale of barely notable abuse, but it is chilling to see one of this victims use the same rehearsed language, talking about "victims" and "the girls" as if she is not one of them herself.

Again, survivors absolutely must have control of their own narratives, and many survivors of childhood incest have extremely complicated feelings about the abuse. Using this sort of distancing language to talk about the victims, as if she isn't among them, may be a survival strategy Jessa has employed as a useful and necessary coping mechanism.

But I have very grave concerns, given that her parents, to whom she was entrained to show absolute deference, have done everything they can to protect their son at his victims' expense, including flying in a PR team to prep the family, including his victims, with talking points that minimize and defend the abuse. I am profoundly troubled by the very real possibility that she is being manipulated and revictimized. Especially because:
Two police reports strongly contradict these assertions. After several instances of Josh sexually molesting sleeping victims, his behavior progressed. According to the police report: [Redacted descriptions of escalating abuse.] Fox's interviewer Megyn Kelly never pointed out that one victim was five-years-old and Josh was 15 at the time of that molestation.

...The escalation of Josh's molestations is troubling to mental health experts and not to be dismissed in the manner Jessa characterized it as, "a young boy in puberty and a little too curious about girls." Dr. Paula Bruce, a California clinical psychologist, told In Touch about the Duggars: "None of them acknowledged that this is predatory behavior. It's classic. It's got dominance and exploitation. The touching that happened when they were asleep and touching when they were awake, it sounds like escalating in violence because it became more forceful. There was an incident in the laundry room. That was showing a pattern of increasing aggression. That's a pattern of someone who is becoming more sexually compulsive and increasingly so. That's not the pattern of someone who is resolving their sexual compulsivity."
We should regard with informed skepticism any minimizing narratives trading on the notion that sexual abuse can't or shouldn't be viewed as a big deal if survivors say it isn't. Not just because survivors can have their own reasons for minimizing sexual abuse, which the rest of us should not exploit in order to defend their abuse, but because one of the most basic features of the rape culture is that victims, especially young victims, are frequently coerced by their abusers or abettors of their abuse, to participate in the defense of the people who victimized them and/or failed to protect them.

To question Jessa's lack of comprehensive agency is not to audit her descriptions of her experiences, but to hold accountable the people who have limited her agency only to then exploit those very limitations.

What we are seeing is very likely a secondary trauma: A victim groomed to defend abuse, to protect her abuser and comfort rape apologists.

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"The cops just started putting everyone on the ground and in handcuffs for no reason."

[Content Note: Racism; police brutality.]

Over the weekend, a video of police detaining, handcuffing, and/or physically assaulting black teenagers at a pool party in Texas went viral. The video was shot by a 15-year-old white boy named Brandon Brooks, who explains [CN: moving gifs and images of police brutality at link]: "A fight between a mom and a girl broke out and when the cops showed up everyone ran, including the people who didn't do anything. ...So the cops just started putting everyone on the ground and in handcuffs for no reason. This kind of force is uncalled for especially on children and innocent bystanders. ...Everyone who was getting put on the ground was black, Mexican, Arabic. [The cop] didn't even look at me. It was kind of like I was invisible. ...I think a bunch of white parents were angry that a bunch of black kids who don't live in the neighborhood were in the pool."

One of the police officers who arrived at the scene, a white man, is seen in the video grabbing a 15-year-old black girl named Dajerria Becton and roughly wrestling her to the ground. When two black teens approach to stop him from harming her, he draws his weapon and chases them away, then goes back to the girl, pushes her face into the ground, drags her across the grass, and kneels on her back for minutes, as she cries in pain and bystanding teens beg him to get off of her.

The girl had nothing to do with the fight that broke out at the party, except insomuch as she is black, and the fight began because the white parents were being racists and the teens pushed back:

Teens at the pool party told BuzzFeed News the police were called after a fight broke out between adults and youths at the pool after the adults made racist comments telling the black children to leave the area and return to "Section 8 [public] housing."

...Grace Stone, a white 14-year-old, told BuzzFeed News that when she and her friends objected to the racist comments about public housing an adult woman then became violent.

...Stone told BuzzFeed News that when she approached the officers to explain what had happened in the pool the cop featured in the video ordered that she be handcuffed. "I asked why I was in handcuffs and he wouldn't tell me," she said, adding that she was the only white person handcuffed.
So, white adults express rank racism at black kids, and a mixed race group of kids challenges that rank racism, so a white adult starts a physical fight with a child, and yet somehow the black kids are at fault and a black teenage girl is violently detained by a cop.

Meanwhile, this is how the McKinney, Texas, police department tried to defend this bullshit on its Facebook page:
Pool Party Incident:

On June 5, 2015 at approximately 7:15 p.m., officers from the McKinney Police Department responded to a disturbance at the Craig Ranch North Community Pool. The initial call came in as a disturbance involving multiple juveniles at the location, who do not live in the area or have permission to be there, refusing to leave. McKinney Police received several additional calls related to this incident advising that juveniles were now actively fighting.

First responding officers encountered a large crowd that refused to comply with police commands. Nine additional units responded to the scene. Officers were eventually able to gain control of the situation.

McKinney Police later learned of a video that was taken at the scene by an unknown party. This video has raised concerns that are being investigated by the McKinney Police Department. At this time, one of the responding officers has been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of this investigation.
It's all the kids' fault. The "juveniles." A term which is rarely used outside of any context in which kids' behavior is being criminalized. And it's their fault for being somewhere they didn't belong, for not knowing their place.

And the absurd language used to try to justify this level of police presence: "Actively fighting." Like it was a brawl. Started by black kids who didn't belong, and not a fight started by white adults who attacked children who refused to tolerate their racism.

Of course, of course, white residents are already rallying around the police. Said one local white woman who refused to show her face on the news: "I feel absolutely horrible for the police and what's going on…they were completely outnumbered and they were just doing the right thing when these kids were fleeing and using profanity and threatening security guards."

The kids were fleeing. So what about letting them just leave? If the whole point was that they were (supposedly) crashing a party, then the solution is their leaving, the end. Teenagers using profanity (OH NOES! FETCH THE SMELLING SALTS!) is not a fucking crime, and it is certainly not a justification for the use of state-sanctioned violence against them.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard some white asshole defend state force against black teenagers because of "profanity" and "threats," I would have eleventy million dollars, and I would give every penny of it to the TraumaCare Coalition.

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Open Thread

image of a diagram of a neutron star

Hosted by a neutron star.

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The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Shakesville Arms'
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!

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Film Corner: Spy

[Content Note: Violence; street harassment; fat bias.]

This is your OFFICIAL REMINDER that Paul Feig's new film Spy, starring Melissa McCarthy opens today! WOOT! I have been excited about this movie for literally two years! I'm going to try to see it this weekend, so I can give you a review next week, but my back is being a shitlord at the moment, so we'll see how it goes! In any case, here is a trailer for the movie yayayayay!


Video Description: Intrigue music! Helicopters flying over water toward an estate. Jude Law, spy, wearing a tuxedo, creeps around the lower levels of a manse with a gun. "Tell me where the bomb is," he says. Punching! An older white man, also wearing a tux, says, "I'm the only one who knows where that nuke is." Jude Law points a handgun at him and says, "Well, in that case, I'd say you'd better start—ACHOO!" As he sneezes, the gun goes off, and a bullet hits the older man, killing him. Jude Law gives a heaving sigh.

Melissa McCarthy, back at CIA headquarters, speaking to Jude Law through an earpiece, reacts with horror. "Oh my god! Wh—why did you do that?!" Jude Law says, in a terrible American accent, "I didn't do it on purpose! There's, like, a ton of pollen in here!"

Action music! Cut to McCarthy sitting at dinner in a restaurant with Miranda Hart. She says, over images of her working in an office, "When I joined the CIA, I thought I was gonna be this amazing spy. I'm just the same boring person I was before."

Airplane. Cut to CIA HQ, and Allison Janney informs a meeting of people sitting around a conference table, "We've intercepted chatter that Rayna Boyanov knows where that nuke is." Over images of Rose Byrne as Rayna Boyanov, a nuke, and white male agents in the field, she continues, "She knows the identity of all our agents. We need someone to find the bomb without being detected."

McCarthy, seated in the corner of the room, stands up. "I'll do it," she says. Jason Statham holds up a hand in protest. "Uh, okay. Thanks, lunch lady," he says. McCarthy looks dejected.

Cut to McCarthy and Hart entering the Spy Gear Invention Room. "Go see Patrick; he's got special equipment for you," Janney says in voiceover. McCarthy looks excited. "It's like the future," she whispers. FUTURISTIC WEAPONRY! "You're a spy!" Hart whispers. "I know!" McCarthy says.

Cut to Janney, who is telling McCarthy, "You'll be given a new identity." Cut to McCarthy, sitting in dowdy clothes and a short, curly, brown wig, looking at her new wallet, which contains a picture of her surrounded by cats. "Ohhhhhh," she groans. "I'm just missing a shirt that says 'I've never felt the touch of a man.'"

Cut to McCarthy departing an airport in Europe, looking super dowdy in her wig, unfashionable specs, a cat shirt, and a big pink coat. Two hot dudes in a red convertible drive by, whistling and cat-calling conventionally attractive and thin women standing at the curb. As they pass McCarthy, they go quiet and just stare at her, then resume their harassment as they pass more conventionally attractive and thin women. "That's a confidence-builder," McCarthy mutters.

Cut to McCarthy entering a palace, looking much more conventionally attractive, with styled hair and a sleek black dress. Cut to Statham saying, "You really think you're ready for the field? Leave the action to me." Cut to Statham in a tux, fighting dudes. Cut to McCarthy looking sharp on a scooter. She revs the handle, then takes off, rounds a corner, and promptly falls over. "Dammit!" she exclaims.

Airplane! Explosion! Montage of McCarthy adeptly defending herself from a knife-wielding woman with a frying pan, as Janney says in voiceover, "You are not to have direct contact with any of the targets." Hart tells McCarthy through an earpiece, "You are way out of your league!" McCarthy chases the woman, who swiftly slides over the hood of a car. "That's not fair!" McCarthy says, as she tumbles awkwardly over the hood after her.

Cut to Statham explaining, "I'm a real spy; I move like a shadow!" before catching his coat on a door handle and falling over. "He means well," McCarthy says.

Cut to Jude Law driving a hot car. Cut to McCarthy dangling from a helicopter, with Statham clinging to her for dear life. "What are you doing?!" she shouts at him. "I'm saving you!" he tells her. DUBIOUS.

Cut to McCarthy throwing a gun at a bad guy, who then crawls on top of her and begins choking her. She looks to one side, where Byrne is on her hands and knees beside a gun, and says, "Rayna! Toss it over!" Byrne slides it like three inches, looking as if she's using all her strength. "Try harder!" McCarthy insists. Byrne grunts as she slides it like another three inches. "Seriously?" McCarthy says.

Cut to McCarthy on a scooter, racing through traffic. She zooms up a ramp at a construction site, launches into the air, and then lands in wet cement. The construction workers yell at her. "You're no prize yourself!" she yells back. "Get back to work!"

* * *

One of the things I've noted previously is how fucking cool it is that part of the premise of the film is a fat woman's cultural invisibility becoming her biggest asset. I'm also very excited that (it appears) McCarthy's character gives herself the classic sexy spy makeover, which I hope is true, because I will explode from joy if it is.

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The Friday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by mango juice.

Recommended Reading:

Angus: [Content Note: Rape apologia] Nine Things Dr. Ruth Just Got Wrong About Consent

Kenrya: [CN: Racism; Islamophobia] Flight Attendant Who Refused Muslim Woman Soda Will 'No Longer Serve'

Mustang Bobby: [CN: Misogyny] Mike Huckabee Keeps on Creeping On

Shane: [CN: Racism; police killing] #ShekuBayoh: 33 Days and Counting

Prison Culture: [CN: Police brutality; racism] Image of the Day

Jay: [CN: Misogyny; VIDEO] What Not to Do When a Woman Runs For President

George: [CN: Moving gif at link] How Animals React to a Mirror That Suddenly Appears in the Jungle

Dan: Paul Feig Explains Why His Ghostbusters Movie Is a Reboot

THV: [CN: Moving gifs at link] "Just Take the Men's Parts, Have Women Play Them, and Not Even Question It"

Leave your links and recommendations in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!

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You're Just Jealous!

[Content Note: Privilege.]

Over the years, I have had plenty of occasion, numerous occasions, omg just so many occasions, honestly just never fucking endless occasions, truly occasion after occasion, to write about Gwyneth Paltrow and her Privilege Empire.

It was four years ago that I first wrote about The Great Gwynsby's favorite fishmonger, and that shit has had such staying power that it is still regularly quoted around here as the perfect shorthand for entitled privilege.

"Let them eat fish from my favorite fishmonger!"

If Gwyneth Paltrow were just some ordinary person, even some famous ordinary person, her clueless fuckthoughts would hardly warrant my attention, no less my comment. But she is, in addition to being a well-known actress, a successful and influential entrepreneur who markets as a "lifestyle brand" what is better described as the upholding and flaunting of white, straight, cisgender, able-bodied, thin, wealthy, Western privilege.

But it turns out I don't actually have legitimate criticisms. I'm just a jealous hater who is "overwhelmed" by the sheer power of her unrelenting awesomeness. According to her mom:

Defending her Oscar-winning daughter, Blythe Danner, 72, tells PEOPLE in the magazine's new issue, "I just think maybe people are overwhelmed. They can't understand how people could be so good at so many things."

"Not only is Gwyneth one of the most brilliant actresses in the world – and I really am hoping she will do more of it when the kids get older – but she is a successful businesswoman and she is a good cook," Danner continues. "I think all of that overwhelms some people."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. You've got me, Danner. My worthless little peasant brain is overwhelmed by someone who is professionally successful and also good at cooking, because in my worthless little peasant life I've never met any other women who are super talented and high achievers and also excel at a hobby.

Good fucking grief.

So, what we have here is a situation in which people have been critical of Gwyneth Paltrow's sanctimonious lifestyle trash because it upholds privilege as a value and further deigns to call that "wellness," and Paltrow deliberately misconstruing those criticisms as "people are accusing me of thinking I'm better than them," and her mother saying, "Fuck all y'all! She is better than you!"

Case closed, your honor!

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Zelda the Black and Tan Mutt sitting on the loveseat looking at me
That face!

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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On the "Conspiracy" Against Jim Bob Duggar

[CN: rape apologia, gaslighting, sexual abuse. Links may contain details of abuse in police reports.]

As you know if you've been following the Duggar case, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar (with the assistance of Fox news) have been pushing hard the idea that the "real" crime was in releasing the 2006 police report, because it was part of a "juvenile record." In his interview with Megyn Kelly, Jim Bob Duggar claimed that this was not only illegal, but part of a conspiracy against him:

"I don't know if there was a bribe," Jim Bob said. "She [Police Chief Kathy O'Kelley] was getting ready to retire...and even a few weeks ago, she said, 'You know, I'm getting ready to retire and there's a few things I want to do before I retire.' I think we were on the list." He added that they are talking to attorneys about the situation and they "want to be an advocate for protecting juveniles' records." "This information was released illegally and I'm wondering why all of this press is not going after the system for releasing juvenile records," Jim Bob said. "That is a huge story...hopefully justice will be served."

And why would anyone want to attack Jim Bob and his family? Because, apparently, of their "Christian beliefs."

Okay, player.

Turns out that just because Jim Bob Duggar claims something is a sealed record, that doesn't make it so. Whoops your gaslighting:

Arkansas state law does protect juvenile records within family court, as well as those related to child maltreatment investigations by the Division of Children and Family Services. But as for the report from the Springdale Police Department? “There was nothing illegal about a [Freedom of Information release] of a document in possession of Springdale police,” attorney John Tull said. “They were just following the law.” Under Arkansas’ Freedom of Information Act, documents belonging to agencies are considered public unless they are specifically identified as exempt. Examples of exempt documents include medical records, grand jury minutes, and state income tax records. In 1992, the state Supreme Court also clarified that while juvenile court records may not be disclosed, other records that identify juveniles who are not charged with crimes remain public.. [Emphasis mine-AB]

In other words, if Jim Bob had actually reported his son to law enforcement in a timely fashion (and not to a cop who just happened to never file a report), and he'd entered the juvenile court system, then yes, his records would be exempt from FOIA.

Of course, Jim Bob couldn't just keep to calling the action illegal. He also had to allege that the police chief had a personal grudge. (Or else she took a bribe--which is it? If you have a personal grudge do you really need to take a bribe?) But, as In Touch magazine responds to Jim Bob's accusation, that doesn't explain why the Washington County Sheriff's Office also released their police report, since they're under an entirely different jurisdiction. In Touch also details a number of other factual problems with Jim Bob's claims at the link. (You can view their FOIA request here.) Both the City of Springdale and the Washington County Sheriff's Office have also released statements attesting to their sincere belief in the legality of responding to the FOIA request as they did.

So, it seems that neither the city nor the county's officials take kindly to being accused of being corrupt (or at best incompetent) rubes. It's worth pointing out that denying FOIA requests can land record keepers in hot water as well, so it's not like release decisions are made lightly. And, if In Touch is correct in their reporting, the city actually informed the Duggars about the release before anything was published, a courtesy that was definitely not required by law. A courtesy that seems to have gone unappreciated.

The In Touch reporter [ETA: Rick Egusquiza] who broke the story sat down with The Advocate for an interview, and there's some very interesting stuff in there. Turns out he's the one who broke the big John Edwards story in 2007. When it came to investigating the Duggars, he says it was pretty traditional journalism:

The rumors of Joshua Duggar being sexually inappropriate as a teenager were circulating for years, but no one could prove it until In Touch Weekly really started digging into it. My bosses received a tip and then sent me and a team to Springdale, Ark., to start digging around. One tipster led me to another, and then another. I have to say it was good old-fashioned reporting on the ground and a lot of door-knocking. Also a lot of leg work from our team of excellent reporters and editors.

"One tipster led me to another, and then another."

I'm starting to think there is a tiny kernel of truth in Jim Bob's conspiracy claims. A lot of people had something to tell In Touch magazine; indeed, there have been a lot of people trying to talk about the Duggars' coverups for years. Is it really surprising that they'd be unhappy with a family that so blatantly excused sexual abuse and then made a lucrative career out of selling their very Godly family on tv? Is it really surprising that a guy who shits all over local officials when they do their fucking jobs might have angered a few folks here and there? Is it shocking that an arrogant, patriarchal dude who expects everyone to defer to his version of events might piss off the neighbors who know the facts?

I don't know if there's a local conspiracy against you, Jim Bob, but I do know this. If there is, it's not because you're a Christian. It's because you're an asshole.

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