Open Thread

image of a book sculpture of a giant octopus holding a sailing ship in one of its tentacles

Hosted by a book sculpture of a giant octopus and an imperiled sailing ship.

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Question of the Day

It's that time again: What would you like to see asked as a future Question of the Day? Either something that's never been asked, or something that I haven't asked for awhile and you really enjoyed the first time around.

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Quote of the Day

[Content Note: White supremacy; violence; victim-blaming.]

"In the aftermath of these racially charged killings there's a predictable pattern of putting victims on trial in the media, in district attorney's offices, and in the court of public opinion. ...The efforts to blame the Eric Garners and Tamir Rices is not just about exonerating the police but pathologising blacks so white America can preserve its racial fantasies. Ultimately, it is about absolving the fundamental inequality of how black people are perceived and treated in America."—Stacey Patton and David J. Leonard in a must-read piece, "Why Eric Garner was blamed for dying."

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The Torture Report

[Content Note: Torture.]

As I mentioned earlier, the Senate Intelligence Committee report on the CIA's use of torture after 9/11 was released today, in part. I've been reading through some of it, and it is indescribably heinous.

I don't have a whole lot of new commentary to offer: There are only so many ways you can say that torture is vile. Torture is vile. Torture is vile. Torture is vile. And lying about it is reprehensible. And not holding people accountable for it is shameful. And promulgating rank lies about its efficacy to justify torture is inexcusable.

I do want to pass on a couple of pieces of recommended reading, and open up a dedicated thread for discussion.

Anthony Romero, the executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union, suggests that President Obama pardon former President George W. Bush and the architects of his administration's torture policy, because it may be the only way to permanently record that what they did was illegal. Romero may well be right: This is how far away we are from actual accountability. [Via Digby.]

Igor Volsky details the five most damning revelations from the report.

And Meredith Clark reports on President Obama's statements upon the release of the report, during which he actually said these actual words: "We tortured some folks. ...I understand why it happened. I think it's important, when we look back, to recall how afraid people were when the twin towers fell. ...It's important for us not to feel too sanctimonious in retrospect about the tough job those folks had." Jesus.

Meanwhile, former President George W. Bush, who oversaw this reign of inhumane fuckery, is probably off somewhere painting a picture of a buttplug he's mistaken for a tiny tree.

Speaking of that asshole, among the many disturbing revelations from the report is this:

screen cap of text from report reading: 'The presentation also noted that the president of the United States had directed that he not be informed of the locations of the CIA detention facilities to ensure he would not accidentally disclose the information.'

Insert here all the jokes about what a dunderhead the former president is. But I strongly suspect that this is yet another instance in which Bush and his administration will rely on our (understandable) impressions of the former president as a doofus, in order that we might not notice the shrewd request cloaked in his aww-shucks reputation to legally distance himself from war crimes.

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Let's All Watch This or Read the Transcript Because It Is Terrific and We Need All the Terrific Things

Below, video of the rescue of a baby elephant from a muddy pond, and his reunion with his mother, care of the Kenya Wildlife Service and Amboseli Trust for Elephants at Amboseli National Park in Kenya:


Video Description: Text onscreen reads "5 days old calf rescued from a muddy pond by Kenya Wildlife Service and Amboseli Trust for Elephants." Two people appear onscreen: A middle-aged black man named Richard Chepkwony, who is the Senior Warden at Amboseli National Park, a middle-aged black woman named Soila Sayialel, who is the Deputy Director of the Amboseli Trust for Elephants. They stand near their vehicles on a savannah, looking as though they're discussing strategy, while a large herd of elephants lingers close by.

In the middle of the long arc of the herd is a small round muddy pond, in which is trapped a tiny newborn elephant, who cannot climb over the steep banks of the pond. His mother hovers near the pond, and the rescuers use a vehicle to gently push her away to a distance that will be safe for them as they attempt to rescue her calf.

Once she has been moved away, more vehicles pull in, creating a barrier between the herd and the pit. It is not impenetrable, by any means, but it affords the rescuers some safety.

The rescuers hop out of the vehicles, and Sayialel directs them into place. As they congregate around the edge of the pond opposite the vehicle barrier, the baby elephant moves toward them, as if he knows they are there to help. Three men immediately hop into the water.

They make several attempts to secure the baby elephant with a long belt of fabric, at Sayialel's instruction. The baby slides out on the first attempt, but, eventually, using a combination of pulling and pushing, they get the baby elephant up onto the bank of the pond. The baby stumbles, clearly exhausted. Sayialel pushes the baby forward, helping him over the angled bank. She laughs.

The baby elephant is covered in mud. Sayialel puts her hands on his side, gently guiding it around the side of the pond and into the grass toward his mother. She looks up as they walk, keeping track of where Mama is.

Once she has moved the baby a safe distance from the pond's edge into the grass, Sayialel walks back toward the vehicles, shaking the mud off of her hands. The rescue team gets into their vehicles and begin to drive away.

The baby stands in the grass, alone. The camera pans to the left, and Mama is cautiously walking toward her baby. As she gets closer, she begins to run. She goes to her baby and stands over him protectively, curling her truck around him. She trumpets. Baby trumpets. She stares at the rescuers, while caressing her baby.

Mama walks starts to walk away, baby happily trailing after her, then turns around and gives the rescuers one last look, as if to say thank you.

Far away from the pit now, the baby begins to nurse, and then Mama and her calf march off across the savannah, to catch up with the rest of the herd.

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Discussion Thread: Feeling Overwhelmed

[Content Note: Violence.]

tweet authored by me reading: 'Vulnerable ppl demand safety & accountability; institutions say no. Police brutality, rape culture, state torture. Verses of the same dirge.'

The past few weeks have been especially demoralizing for those of us who challenge the culture of abuse, in all its many grotesque incarnations. A lot of depressing and demoralizing news has come quickly and relentlessly. Almost everyone I know is feeling overwhelmed at the moment—and the people who aren't are the people who don't pay attention, precisely to avoid feeling like this.

Among the people who belong to communities being targeted by violence and silenced with harassment and abandoned by the people supposed to protect them and denied justice, over and over—people who cannot turn away, cannot take a break, cannot catch a breath—there is a lot of bone-deep physical and emotional exhaustion, and fear, and rage, and discontent.

Among those of us who work in advocacy, or alt journalism, or social work, or some field that means we have to keep vigilant and immersed, I know there is a lot of exhaustion, and despondency, and a feeling of impotency.

Among people who are not personally affected, who are watching from the sidelines wanting to do what they can to help imperiled and attacked communities, there is exhaustion, and helplessness, and sadness.

These are, of course, not mutually exclusive populations. Many of us are part of all three: Victimized, bearing witness, standing in solidarity.

So here is a thread, if you need to talk about how you're feeling at the moment, whether that's sad, angry, motivated, despondent, tired, outnumbered, disillusioned, resolved, all of the above.

[Naturally, we care in this space about abuse of multiple marginalized populations, not just those which have been prominently in the news. People are welcome to speak to their own experiences. As always, please don't play Oppression Olympics. If you see comparisons that can be made, use them to build bridges.]

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Dudley the Greyhound lying on the ottoman with his ears folded on top of his head
Ear hat.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballé: "Barcelona"

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In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

[Content Note: Torture] A new Senate Intelligence Committee report to be released today reportedly includes "graphic details about sexual threats and other harsh interrogation techniques the CIA meted out to captured militants. ...Some interrogation tactics meant to force detainees to divulge information on terrorist plots and cells, went beyond the harsh techniques authorized by White House, CIA and Justice Department lawyers working for President George W. Bush's Justice Department, according to the sources familiar with the report. ...The report, which took years to produce, charts the history of the CIA's 'Rendition, Detention, and Interrogation' program, which Bush authorized after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks."

[CN: Racism] Pew Research has found there are "sharp racial divisions" in the responses to grand juries failing to indict the police officers who killed Michael Brown and Eric Garner. That is a nice way of saying that white supremacy is still incredibly powerful in this country. "Blacks and whites have starkly different views of the decisions in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases, and blacks are far more likely than whites to say that race was a major factor in both rulings."

[CN: Coercion] Progressive group MoveOn.org is fixing to spend $1 million on a pressure campaign to convince Senator Elizabeth Warren to run for president. I bet I'm not the only person who can think of better ways for progressives to spend $1 million than trying to coerce a woman into doing something she has repeatedly said she does not want to do.

[CN: War on agency] Hey, it turns out that abortion is actually really quite safe. Gee, it's almost like all those restrictions on abortion access being peddled by Republicans under the auspices of women's safety are complete bullshit or something!

[CN: Violence; self-harm; death] Stephanie Moseley, a model and dancer who starred in VH1's Hit the Floor, was killed by her husband Earl Hayes, a rapper, who then turned the gun on himself. Hayes reportedly killed Moseley because he was jealous over her relationship with the singer Trey Songz. This is a story we've heard all too many times—a man who murders because it turns out he doesn't own a woman's sexuality. I'm not linking to any articles about this, because I couldn't find one that didn't either imply rap is inherently violent, or didn't use language implicitly victim-blaming Moseley for having an affair.

[CN: Racism; violence] Once upon a time, Mark Walhberg made a violent, racist attack on a Vietnamese man, leaving him blind in one eye. Wahlberg served just 45 days for the incident, but it left him with a felony record. This was only one of multiple racist attacks he committed, but it's the one on his record and thus the one for which he now seeking a pardon, on the basis that he's a good Christian man now. Never mind that he has not apologized to his victim, and uses mealy-mouthed language in his request for a pardon: "I am deeply sorry for the actions that I took on the night of April 8, 1988, as well as for any lasting damage that I may have caused the victims." May have caused. To a man he blinded. If you're wondering why Walhberg is seeking a pardon, it's because he wants to expand Walhbergers, and a felony conviction would make it impossible to get a liquor license in some states.

[CN: Racism] In other white actors behaving badly news: Christian Bale, who has already said incredibly stupid things about his being cast as Moses, can't shut up: "I think that people, rather than pointing fingers, should ask themselves, are they being supportive of North African and Middle Eastern filmmakers and actors? ...The change will come from independent filmmaking, but audiences have to be there." So, it's audiences' fault, and independent filmmakers have work to do, and it is definitely not the responsibility of major studios or white filmmakers and actors. What a coincidence!

[CN: Racism; police brutality] LeBron James, along with several other NBA players, wore an "I Can't Breathe" shirt in Brooklyn before a game with the Nets. Cue the aggrieved outrage of white racists who say that a basketball game isn't the place for political statements. Guess what, assholes? Almost exclusively white owners, coaches, and other power brokers overseeing a sport of predominantly black men whose humanity is only worth as much as their sporting skill is a political statement. Every damn game is a political statement.

RIP Stella Young. My condolences to her family, friends, colleagues, and fans.

Wow: "On Titan, mega winds have built sand dunes hundreds of feet high."

And finally! Here is a video of some rescued ducklings going for their first swim. Awwww.

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If Fraternities Were Treated Like Survivors

[CN: rape apologia, disbelief of survivors, rape culture. The story at the Gawker link includes ableist language. Other links include descriptions of rape, assault and hazing incidents.]

As Rolling Stone backed away from its story about rape culture at UVA, a new consensus quickly emerged among the rape apologists of Twitter and the blogosphere. Any discrepancies in Jackie's memory mean she is a liar. However, the statement from the UVA chapter of Phi Kappa Psi is absolute proof of their innocence, individually and collectively.

How, ahem, interesting that the statement of elite men is treated as gospel, while the story of a traumatized young woman (as interpreted by a reporter) is treated as an intentional, malicious fraud.

So what would happen if we gave Phi Psi's statement even a tiny portion of the scrutiny that Jackie has faced? Obviously, I don't mean doxxing, violence, or threats of same. But I do mean taking a careful look at what their statement really says, and what it really doesn't say.

Over at Gawker, Sam Biddle had some thoughts in a similar vein:

"The chapter did not have a date function or a social event during the weekend of September 28th, 2012" doesn't refute said acts—that only means there was no formally organized party at Phi Psi that night. It doesn't mean people weren't socializing there. Maybe it was a handful of people, maybe it was a huge rager, but it's a given that someone is drinking at every college frat in the United States at any given moment.

"Our chapter's pledging and initiation periods, as required by the University and Inter-Fraternity Council, take place solely in the spring semester and not in the fall semester" doesn't refute said acts, because frat rushing is lawless. This is like a foreign regime denying the use of chemical weapons because it's against international law—who cares, man! Not Phi Psi, or any other fraternity, which are constantly breaking the fake rules imposed upon them by fake institutions like "Inter-Fraternity Councils."

"No ritualized sexual assault is part of our pledging or initiation process" doesn't refute said acts, but at least it's very minimally reassuring.
I agree with Biddle that this letter was doubtless crafted by a lawyer; it may not contain lies, but it certainly contains misdirections. Spring pledging only? Maybe, but according to the UVA's Fraternity and Sorority Life website, "[t]here is a brief Informal Rush in late September for men who are upperclassmen and/or transfers." Does the author of this letter really expect Jackie to have parsed the difference between formal and informal rush? If anything, her impression that her assault was related to the peer pressure of recruitment makes her story even stronger, since there was indeed an informal rush in late September.

And speaking of timing, what about that denial of a "date function" or social event on September 28th? I agree with Biddle that this doesn't mean there wasn't an informal party. That scenario makes sense in light of Jackie's story. A formally registered social event would likely have to abide by risk management regulations from the national organization or the university. An informal party, not so much. Being an informal event isn't some kind of protection against rape, as Phi Kappa Psi at Butler University well knows.

(Or perhaps Jackie misremembered the date. That's not uncommon for trauma survivors. What happened the previous weekend?)

And about the fraternity's vehement denial that sexual assault is part of their initiation or other pledging process? I see what you did there, guys. It's a big NO DOY that it's not part of fraternity rituals. Despite the popular media's portrayal of what "initiation" means in Greek life, it's actually a semi-religious ceremony. So of course the letter waxes on about how vile this suggestion is. That's safe ground.

But it doesn't address some key terms: hazing, peer pressure, and/or risk management. What evidence can the chapter give to demonstrate that Phi Kappa Psi is actively working to prevent rape and assault? (Has the UVA chapter significantly changed its culture since the events of 1984?) What evidence can Virginia Alpha give to show that the fraternity has a serious no-hazing policy that is briskly enforced? (Better than at, say, Cornell or the University of Arizona chapters?) What risk management procedures does the fraternity follow to assure that all social events (officially sanctioned or not) are safe for all involved? (Is Virginia Alpha doing better than the Brown chapter?)

Finally, the piece of evidence that rape apologists seem to think is most relevant is that Phi Psi has no records of a member who worked at the aquatic center during the fall of 2012. Okay. Does the fraternity bar non-members from socializing in its house (formally or informally)? Did any of the chapter's informal rushees work at the aquatic center?

In short, this letter is "proof" of very little.

The Virginia Alpha chapter of Phi Psi doesn't say anything about its active and ongoing efforts towards anti-rape education, or how it ensures the safety of visitors to its house. Is that because there isn't anything positive to say?

Despite the title, I don't really want to see fraternities treated like survivors, because no human being should have to face the gauntlet of hate, threats, and abuse that Jackie is now facing. But it would be nice, to say the least, if their words faced even the tiniest scrutiny from those who are so quick to detail the inconsistencies of traumatized survivors.

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Jackie Update

[Content Note: Sexual violence; rape apologia; doxxing; threats.]

Since Friday, when Rolling Stone issued a (now-edited) statement in which they referenced vague "discrepancies" in Jackie's story, and said they'd misplaced their trust in her, Jackie has been doxxed—or, at least, a woman who may or may not be Jackie has had her picture and personal details shared on the internet by Charles Johnson, who threatened her before doxxing her.

All of this because "discrepancies" were found in the story of a survivor of a gang rape, despite the fact that discrepancies are extremely common in the stories of any survivor of any trauma.

Many people are exploiting this in order to declare Jackie a liar, and bray victory for having disbelieved her. "Discrepancies" does not make someone a liar. And "discrepancies" does not validate the reasons for disbelieving her, because no one disbelieved her for legit reasons. They disbelieved her using entirely typical discrediting tropes straight from the rape apologists' playbook, which are used against every survivor. Every damn one. They don't get retroactively legitimized, even if someone lies.

And, for the record, I do not believe Jackie lied. And fuck Rolling Stone and the Washington Post and thousands of rape apologists who seized on the fact that Jackie is an imperfect victim for making me even have to say that.

There have been criticisms of Rolling Stone on the basis that they failed to contact Jackie's assailants. Rolling Stone did fuck up: They coerced Jackie into participating in the story when she wanted to drop out, which is a colossal ethics violation. But I'm hardly convinced they fucked up by not contacting her assailants. Unless they were going to offer a full confession (anyone think that was likely?), there was nothing meaningful they were going to add. It merely would have forced Jackie to tell her story in a space giving her assailants harbor.

Rolling Stone should have pushed back on that criticism and defended their decision to give her as safe a space as possible. Instead, they have legitimized criticisms based on undermining survivors' credibility and threw Jackie under the bus in the process. That is where they fucked up, not in making the decision in the first place.

Also, let us note that, without a trace of irony, rape apologists are claiming that Jackie is obviously a liar because Rolling Stone did not publish the names of her attackers while simultaneously screaming about how Jackie and anyone who supports her are monsters for ruining these men's lives. Despite the fact that they weren't named.

On the one hand, if a survivor makes a public allegation against a man and names him, she is a vengeful monster who is just trying to ruin his life. On the other hand, if a survivor makes a public statement of surviving without naming her attacker(s), she is a deceitful monster who is making the whole thing up.

Rape apologists have endeavored to make sure that there is no right way to speak out about being a survivor of rape, that doesn't walk you right into one of the discrediting traps they've diligently set up for every survivor, no matter her approach.

That said, there were basic fact-checking issues that Rolling Stone should have done, in order to protect Jackie when this inevitably happened. If publications aren't prepared for a seething mob of rape apologists to call a survivor a liar, and aren't prepared to do everything they can to protect her, then they are nothing more than opportunistic exploiters of victims, in pursuit of rape porn clickbait.

Maya Dusenbery has written a terrific piece on this subject at Feministing, which I strongly encourage you to read in its entirety: "On Rolling Stone, lessons from fact-checking, and the limits of journalism."

Following is some additional recommended reading:

Wagatwe Wanjuki: "Why I Don't Want to Hear Both Sides of Rape Cases."

Katie Klabusich: "How Rolling Stone Gave a Gift to Rape Apologists."

Ali Safran: "Victims' Memories Are Imperfect, But Still Perfectly Believable."

Emily: "A letter from a friend: Jackie's story is not a hoax."

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to leave links in comments to other good stuff you've been reading. Rape apologia will be deleted, and commenters engaging in it will be banned.

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The Zelliest of All the Bellies

Thank you to everyone who has sent good thoughts for Zelda.

To give you a quick update, we still don't know exactly what's going on with her. The bad news is that we've ruled out all the easy stuff, and now we're looking at a chronic disease like Cushings or diabetes insipidus as the underlying problem. The good news is that there's a strong possibility of its being something manageable. The best news is that Zelly is, apart from guzzling water and peeing 9,000 times a day and having low energy, her usual happy and snuggly self. Every day is a day.

image of Zelda the Black and Tan Mutt grinning
"It's a day!"

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Open Thread

image of a paper sculpture of the Millennium Falcon made from the pages of a book

Hosted by a book sculpture of the Millennium Falcon.

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Blog Note

I am taking the day off today. Zelly has been ill, and we've been having to do a series of tests at the vet to figure out what's wrong. We've got to go to back to the vet again today, and, as some of you may know, there was a deluge of harassment here and on Twitter and in my inbox starting Friday afternoon. I don't want to be away while the space requires extensive moderation, so I will take today off and be back tomorrow.

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The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Shakesville Arms'
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Dudley the Greyhound's eye poking out from a pile of blankets, looking at me
I have been spied from amidst a pile of blankets.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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The Friday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by chocolate.

Recommended Reading:

Kiese: [CN: White supremacy; violence] My Vassar College Faculty ID Makes Everything OK

Charles: [CN: Homophobia; transphobia; ageism; class warfare] Aging LGBT Populations Face Substantial Economic Hurdles

Jessica: [CN: War on agency] Indiana TRAP Law Ruled Unconstitutional

Nicole: [CN: War on agency] Who Are the People Behind the Numbers?

BYP: [CN: Racism; racist slurs; police misconduct] Ohio Sheriff's Deputies Under Investigation for Racist Texts

thekooriwoman: [CN: Racism] On Who the Fuck Is Iggy Azalea When She's at Home?

Jamilah: [AUDIO] John Legend, Common Add "Glory" to Selma Soundtrack

Leave your links in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Janelle Monáe (featuring Big Boi): "Tightrope"

This week's TMNS have been brought to you by ladies with double Ls in their first names.

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In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

President Obama has nominated longtime senior Pentagon official Ashton Carter to replace Chuck Hagel as Secretary of Defense. I literally cannot stop seeing "Ashton Kutcher" every time I read a story about this guy. "Dude, where's my drone?"

[Content Note: Police brutality; racism] And again: "Protesters demanded Thursday night that Phoenix police identify the officer who shot and killed an unarmed black father of four children, in a confrontation that critics and community members likened to the deaths of Michael Brown in Missouri and Eric Garner in New York. About 100 people marched to police headquarters a day after the department strongly defended the decision by the officer who shot 34-year-old Rumain Brisbon, who friends and family said was simply delivering dinner to his children, on Tuesday night."

[CN: Police brutality; racism] My pal Dan Solomon has written a good piece for Texas Monthly noting that police body cameras can only ever be one tool among many tools and strategies needed to meaningfully address this problem. After all, more evidence only matters if the people reviewing that evidence are invested in making sure it matters.

[CN: War on agency] Tara Culp-Ressler compiles "7 Victories for Reproductive Freedom You May Not Realize Happened This Year."

[CN: Transmisogynoir; violence] Police are investigating "the death of a 21-year-old transgender woman who was gunned down while pounding on the front door of a South L.A. home seeking help. Deshawnda Sanchez, known as 'Tata,' was shot around 4 a.m. Wednesday on the front porch of a home near South Wilton Place and West 62nd Street, according to the Los Angeles Police Department." It was not, as in the case of Renisha McBride, the homeowner who shot Tata, nor, as in the case of Jonathan Ferrell, the police who shot her. "A neighbor's surveillance camera captured part of the incident, which showed someone pulling up to the house in a vehicle, getting out and running up to the porch. The figure could then be seen running back to the vehicle and driving away, police said. ...Detectives believe S"anchez was running away from a robber when she was shot, but said they were not ruling out other scenarios." They are considering the murder a possible hate crime.

[CN: Transphobia; appropriation] Um: "One of the founding members of the iconic band The B-52s is back with a very queer new single. Kate Pierson is slated to release a solo album, called "Guitars and Microphones"... In anticipation of this release, Pierson dropped her first single and video for 'Mister Sister'—a track that she is dubbing a 'trans[gender] anthem.'" Nope! [H/T to Eastsidekate.]

"Romney's Inner Circle Is Convinced He's Running." Well, Romney's inner circle was also convinced he was winning, so.

[Note: Video autoplays at link] ChescaLeigh: "5 Tips for Being an Ally." So great.

NASA's Orion capsule, a spaceship designed for a future Mars mission, had a perfect test run: Orion "made a near-bullseye splashdown in the Pacific Ocean on Friday, wrapping up a flawless, unmanned debut test flight around Earth. The Orion capsule blasted off aboard a Delta 4 Heavy rocket, the biggest in the U.S. fleet, just after dawn from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida. Three hours later, it reached peak altitude of 3,604 miles (5,800 km) above the planet, a prelude to the most challenging part of the flight, a 20,000-mph (32,000 km/h) dive back into the atmosphere. Orion survived a searing, plunge through the atmosphere, heating up to 4,000 degree Fahrenheit (2,200 degree Celsius)—twice as hot as molten lava—and experiencing gravitational forces eight times stronger than Earth's. Over the next few minutes, a total of 11 parachutes deployed to slow Orion's descent, including three gigantic main chutes that guided the spaceship to a 20-mph (32 km/h) splashdown 630 miles (1,014 km) southwest of San Diego, California, at 11:29 a.m. EST (11:29 EST). 'I think it's a big day for the world, for people who know and like space,' NASA Administrator Charles Bolden said before the launch." Heck yeah it is! Neat!

A letter to my cat: Dear Vastra. All the blubs.

You probably won't read a headline better than this today: "Firefighter Nicknamed 'Dr. Doolittle' Saves Dog That Fell Through Ice." Yes!

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Number One!

[Content Note: Christian Supremacy; racism.]

Hey, remember Kirk Cameron's Christmas movie which we are all definitely going to see called Saving Christmas, which features a protagonist named Christian White who finally experiences the magic of Christmas via dancing and racial stereotypes?

Well, I have exciting news for you! It has reached #1—on IMDb's Bottom 100 movies, as voted by regular IMDb users!

Saving Christmas is literally the worst!

And it beat out some stiff competition, too! Like: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (#11), From Justin to Kelly (#23), Track of the Moon Beast (#34), Ghosts Can't Do It (#48), and The Tony Blair Witch Project (#76).

Congratulations, Saving Christmas! It really is the hap-happiest season of all!

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