Dudley chills out and watches a favorite show about dogs.
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
Daily Dose of Cute
Dudley chills out and watches a favorite show about dogs.
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
The Walking Thread
[Content Note: Descriptions of violence. Spoilers are lurching around undeadly herein.]
We have two weeks of terrific episodes to cover, so let us first begin with the briefest of recaps of last week's episode, "Crossed." Filler filler filler. The Grimes Gang hatches a plot to rescue Carol and Beth. Filler filler filler. Michonne and Carl the Hat stay behind to babysit Baby Zombie Whistle Grimes and Gabriel the Priest. Filler filler filler. Glenn and Maggie go fishing. Filler filler filler. Maggie yells at Sgt. Red Bull. Filler filler filler. One of the hospital police officers double-crosses Sasha and escapes.
And now to this week's episode, which is the winter finale, "Coda." We pick up with the officer who has escaped, still handcuffed, running down the street back toward the hospital to warn Officer Meanlady about Grimes Gang's plan to exchange officers they've taken hostage for Carol and Beth. Grimes is chasing him in a police car (because of course he is) and warns him to stop. When he doesn't, Grimes smashes the car into him, then shoots him. RIP that guy.
It's important to note at this juncture that we are definitely meant to side with Grimes here. That gosh darn guy was going to ruin everything! But, for all its exhausting, repetitive, simplistic, eyeroll-inducing attempts to address moral relativism and the ethics of survival in the zombiepocalypse, the show never invites us, in any discernible way, to consider that, if it had been one of the Grimes Gang escaping someone who had taken them hostage for a prisoner exchange, and the person from whom they were escaping shot them, we'd be mad at that person. That person would be presented by this show as a monster. Because the only "my people" who are worth our sympathies, ever, are Grimes' people.
This is, ahh, worth noting. For later in the episode.
Anyway!
Back at Grimes' Church, Gabriel is fucking around out in the woods by himself, and naturally gets besieged by zombies. He runs back to the church, where he claws at the front door and begs to be let in, JUST LIKE THE PEOPLE HE LEFT TO DIE, IN CASE YOU FORGOT, KARMA KARMA HEAVY-HANDED KARMA. But, of course, Michonne and Carl the Hat let him in, and then somehow can't keep out the influx of zombies like they have a zillion times before, so they have to beat a hasty retreat.
Luckily, Sgt. Red Bull, at the helm of the fire truck, appears just in time (huzzah!) and drives into the door, barricading it shut. What a serendipitous and happy reunion! Maggie is delighted to hear that Beth is still alive and that everyone else has gone to rescue her. Uh-oh.
Meanwhile, back in Atlanta, Beth and Officer Meanlady have Meaningful Conversations. Beth rescues Officer Meanlady from a rogue officer, by pushing him down the elevator shaft of zombie doom. Beth accuses Officer Meanlady of using her, to which Officer Meanlady responds, "That's how things get done here: Everyone uses people to get what they want." Beth gives Officer Meanlady major "I Will Have My Revenge" face.
Later, Officer Meanlady's contingent and Grimes Gang Prime meet in a hallway in the hospital. It's a real showdown at the Oh Good Grief Corral. Everyone holsters their weapons. I think this should be tense? But it doesn't feel particularly tense to me. As per every single finale of The Walking Dead ever, the big showdown to which every interminably slow episode has been leading now feels rushed and contrived.
The two groups exchange prisoners—two officers for Carol and Beth. That should settle it, except Officer Meanlady demands that Noah, the young man whom Beth helped escape who later hooked up with Carol and Daryl, be returned to his indentured servitude at the hospital. Grimes refuses, insisting that wasn't part of the deal. Officer Meanlady says, "Then we don't have a deal." OH SHIT.
Tensions start to escalate, and Noah volunteers to go back to the hospital group, in order to keep the peace. NOT FAIR! Beth is super pissed. She sidles up to Officer Meanlady and says, in a real "They're screwing with the wrong people" moment, "I get it now."
If there's one thing the writers of this show know how to do PERFECTLY, it's spectacularly flub moments begging for powerful dialogue.
Anyway, after uttering the woefully unsatisfying, "I get it now," Beth pulls out a tiny pair of surgical scissors she'd concealed in her arm cast and stabs Officer Meanlady in her riot-gear protected chest. Surprised by this impotent attempt to murder her, Officer Meanlady accidentally discharges her gun, shooting Beth in the head.
She looks up, horrified, pleadingly. Before she can even argue it was a mistake, Daryl shoots her in the head.
RIP Beth. RIP Officer Meanlady.
Now, remember that whole thing about how Rick Grimes is Superhero #1 for killing the cop who was risking their plan to rescue Carol and Beth? He killed that dude deliberately, when the guy was trying to save himself and "his people." Officer Meanlady, on the other hand, is immediately slaughtered by everyone's favorite character for accidentally killing a member of Grimes Gang who was trying to murder her.
Was Officer Meanlady a nice person? Nope! She made some highly shitty decisions, which she justified under the auspices of keeping their ragtag group of assholes together and functioning and safe. Which, you know, sounds an awful lot like how I could describe some other RICK GRIMES I won't mention.
The best commentary this show makes is the unintentional commentary embedded in asking us to always side with Grimes Gang, for the arbitrary reason that they're the group of which we're (effectively) a part. We see them as "good" because "they" are "us."
This is a true thing about life: We tend to see groups of which we're a part, by choice or circumstance, as "good," not necessarily for qualitative or quantitative reasons, but just because they're "ours."
It would be awesome if The Walking Dead ever made any attempt to explore that theme, but nope! It's way easier and way more fun to cheer at Daryl shooting a lady who's definitely a total bitch for acting just like Rick Grimes who's definitely a hero.
Anyway.
Just as the fire truck arrives carrying the rest of Grimes Gang—is this a fire truck or a GETTING PLACES AT THE PERFECT TIME truck?!—Grimes Gang Prime walks out of the hospital, Daryl carrying Beth's body in his arms. Maggie collapses on the ground and screams, and that would be a genuinely moving moment, if only Maggie had seemed to give two shits about Beth missing at literally any point before this.
Everyone is very sad, and that is the end of the episode.
WAIT NO IT'S NOT. Because here is a three-minute clip of Morgan (hey, remember that guy?!), who's been trailing Grimes Gang for awhile, showing up at the now-abandoned church. He finds the coolest note ever, and his eyes widen with delight (?), as anyone's would, upon learning that Rick Grimes is alive, making good decisions, and within one's reach.
And that is the end of the episode.
But it is not the end of this post, because immediately following the airing of the episode on the US East Coast, the show's Facebook page posted the MAJOR SPOILER, way the fuck before people on the US West Coast and everywhere else it airs got to see the episode! Whooooooooops! Way to reward your fans, dipshits. Yeesh.
And, with that, we will reconvene in February, when part two of this season begins.
In the words of a flannel shirt wearing zombie, "ARGLE BARGLE." Fin.
Today in Fat Hatred
[Content Note: Fat hatred; injury; death; eliminationism.]
Fat crash test dummies—or the lack thereof—have been in the news lately, and here's the latest: "As drivers get fatter, so do crash dummies." Here are just two juxtaposed snippets from the piece:
A University of California-Berkeley study, published in 2013, found that obese drivers are up to 78% more likely to die in car crashes."It's not clear what we would learn." Well, you might learn how to save fat people's lives. But who the fuck cares, right?
...However, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has no plans to incorporate the obese dummy into its testing program.
"It's not clear what would we learn that's different by using a heavy crash test dummy. When the structure (of the vehicle) holds up, that helps protect people of all shapes and sizes," IIHS spokesman Russ Rader said. "When there is structural collapse, the risk of injury is higher, but it's not clear that's different for small people as compared to heavy people. ... Obese people are at higher risk in crashes, but it's not clear using heavier crash test dummies would reduce those risks."
This is what I mean when I say, over and over, that fat hatred kills.
Especially fat women: "Researchers also concluded that obese women had a greater chance of dying in car crashes than obese men." Fat women are much more likely to die in a car crash. And the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety doesn't see the point of using fat crash test dummies.
This is one of the many ways in which it is conveyed to me every day that my life is literally worthless to people, because I am a fat woman.
This is also why fat is a feminist issue.
What I love, ahem, most about this shit is that, on the one hand, fat is epidemic and fat people are going to destroy America and eventually the entire world! And yet, on the other hand, we are too "fringe" for our bodies to be considered worth studying.
Anyone who has been paying attention might reasonably draw the conclusion that not studying our bodies to save us, while instead using science to shame, scapegoat, and pathologize us, is by design. The solution to our "epidemic" destruction of not-fat people is simply to let us fucking die.
In the News
Here is some stuff in the news today...
[Content Note: Racism; death] Franchesca Ramsey, aka chescaleigh, reflects upon the Ferguson grand jury decision and black lives mattering in a very good and very sad video: "To Mike Brown on My 31st Birthday." H/T to Shaker aforalpha.
[CN: Racism; police brutality] The St. Louis Police Officers Association is pissed off because five St. Louis Rams players—Tavon Austin, Stedman Bailey, Chris Givens, Kenny Britt, and Jared Cook, all of whom are black men—walked onto the field Sunday "during pre-game introductions with their hands raised above their heads in the 'Hands Up, Don't Shoot' pose that has become a fixture of the protests that followed the police killing of teenager Michael Brown in August. ...Now, the St. Louis Police Officers Association wants the NFL to take action against the players, saying in a statement that it was 'profoundly disappointed with the members of the St. Louis Rams football team who chose to ignore the mountains of evidence released from the St. Louis County Grand Jury this week and engage in a display that police officers around the nation found tasteless, offensive. and inflammatory.'" Shut the fuck up. Just shut. the fuck. up.
[CN: Misogynist terrorism; violence; death] RIP Tuğçe Albayrak: "Thousands of German citizens are mourning a 23-year-old student who was murdered for sticking up for two teenage girls getting sexually harassed by a group of men. ...Earlier this month, Tuğçe Albayrak heard the screams of two girls being harassed in a McDonald's bathroom in the city of Offenbach. She confronted their attackers, allowing the teens to escape the situation. But later, in the parking lot of the fast food restaurant, the same men attacked her and allegedly beat her with a baseball bat—an assault that was captured on grainy video footage. Albayrak suffered a traumatic brain injury from the blows to her head, and has been in a coma for the past two weeks. After doctors told her parents that she would never recover from her injuries, they chose to take her off of life support on Friday. It was her 23rd birthday." Sob.
[CN: Sexual assault; rape culture] Jian Ghomeshi, who was arrested and charged last Wednesday with with four counts of sexual assault and one count for choking, is intending to plead not guilty, according to his attorney. In other news: "Certain CBC managers were aware back in June of allegations of 'assault'—including punching and choking—involving a 'series of women' by [Ghomeshi]. ...Chris Boyce, the head of CBC Radio and a central figure in the story, said 'in hindsight' it is a 'good question' whether CBC should have gone to the police at that time." It shouldn't be a "question" at all. For fuck's sake.
I loved First Daughters Sasha's and Malia's total contempt for the hokey White House Thanksgiving Turkey pardon SO MUCH. I laughed for fully one million years.
[CN: Racism; slut-shaming] Someone who DID NOT agree with me is this asshole Republican staffer, who has now resigned. Buh-bye!
Finland has legalized same-sex marriage. Huzzah! Finnish same-sex couples "have been able to enter into registered partnerships since 2002, but until now the country was the only in the Nordic region not to allow same-sex marriage. Finland is now the 12th European state to do so. ...The measure will end the distinction in Finland between same-sex unions and heterosexual marriages and give such couples equal rights to adopt children and share a surname."
[CN: Racism] Because OF COURSE a bunch of racist dipshits objected to a black Stormtrooper in the new teaser trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, John Boyega, the actor cast in the role, responded thus: "To whom it may concern ... Get used to it. :)" Perfect.
Do you love Girl Scout cookies? Well then you might be excited to hear that Girl Scouts will now be able to sell their cookies online!
And finally! Dogs understand human language in ways we never expected. Well, I mean, we kind of expected it. At least those of us who can't say words like "walk" or "out" or "food" in any context at all ever without our dogs suddenly materializing at our sides with expectant looks on their adorable faces.
Marissa Alexander Update
[Content Note: Domestic violence; guns; misogynoir.]
Marissa Alexander, the black woman from Florida (the same state in which George Zimmerman was acquitted of murdering Trayvon Martin, under the same prosecutor) who, despite the state's Stand Your Grand statute, was convicted and sentenced to 20 years for firing a warning shot into the ceiling when her abusive husband was trying to harm her, was granted a new trial late last year.
Last week, Alexander made a plea deal in order to avoid a second trial. Alexander "was ordered on Monday to serve three years in jail after pleading guilty to three felony charges. The 1,030 days she has already been behind bars will count as time served, meaning she will be released on Jan. 27." She will also serve two years of probation while wearing a surveillance monitor.
Free Marissa Now issued a statement upon news of the deal:
The Free Marissa Now Mobilization Campaign supports Marissa Alexander's self-determination to make the best choices she can while navigating the violent and impossible circumstances created by her abusive husband, Angela Corey, and Florida's judicial system. "The plea deal is a relief in some ways, but this is far from a victory," said Alisa Bierria, from the Free Marissa Now Mobilization Campaign. "The deal will help Marissa and her family avoid yet another very expensive and emotionally exhausting trial that could have led to the devastating ruling of spending the rest of her life in prison. Marissa's children, family, and community need her to be free as soon as possible. However, the absurdity in Marissa's case was always the fact that the courts punished and criminalized her for surviving domestic violence, for saving her own life. The mandatory minimum sentences of 20 years, and then 60 years, just made the state's prosecution increasingly shocking. But we have always believed that forcing Marissa to serve even one day in prison represents a profound and systemic attack on black women's right to exist and all women's right to self-defense."Lauren Chief Elk noted at least one headline absurdly celebrating that Alexander will soon be "free." But is anyone with a felony conviction ever free for the rest of their lives?
...Alexander's case has unfolded in the context of the larger crisis of mass incarceration that disproportionately impacts black women and survivors of domestic and sexual violence. The ACLU estimates that 85-90% of people in women's prisons have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. For the next 65 days, the campaign urges Alexander's supporters all over the world to organize rallies and forums that raise awareness about Alexander's case and the cases of other incarcerated women who face similar circumstances, such as Charmaine Pfender.
(That's rhetorical, of course.)
A felony conviction can mean one can no longer vote; it is an official or unofficial disqualifying status for many jobs; it can lead to housing discrimination.
Alexander will no longer be in prison. But she will not be free. And being obliged to plead guilty to a crime with which she never should have been charged in the first place, in order to avoid a costly trial and the possibility of a 60-year sentence, is not justice. Not even a little bit.
Tamir Rice
[Content Note: Police brutality; death; racism.]
A week ago Saturday, a 12-year-old black boy named Tamir Rice was shot and killed by Cleveland police outside a city rec center. Early reports described the shooting thus:
Officers responded to the center for a report of a "male threatening people with a gun," police said. The officers were never told the caller who reported the gun said the gun may be fake, and the person pointing it at people may have been a juvenile, police said.Also relevant: Ohio is an open carry state, underlining once again that "open carry" is only for white people.
The officers saw the boy put the gun in his waistband, according to police. When the officers told him to put his hands in the air, he reached into his waistband and pulled it out, police said. Officers fired two shots, at least one of which hit him in the stomach.
Witnesses to the shooting, including a social worker, publicly contested the police account, which then quickly started to change: "Deputy Chief Ed Tomba said one officer fired twice after the boy pulled the fake weapon—which was lacking the orange safety indicator usually found on the muzzle—from his waistband but had not pointed it at police. The boy did not make any verbal threats but grabbed the replica handgun after being told to raise his hands, Tomba said."
And then video of the incident was made public, clearly showing that even the altered police account is complete bullshit:
The account Cleveland police gave of the shooting by a rookie police officer does not seem to match what the video reveals.Further, after shooting a child, police failed "to immediately give first aid to the fallen boy. It wasn't until an FBI agent who happened to be in the area arrived four minutes later that Tamir was given any such attention."
The police said two officers, responding to a 9-1-1 call, went to the park and saw Tamir take what they thought was a pistol from a table under a gazebo in the park and stuff it in his waistband. Police said that the boy was sitting with a group at the time.
Police also said that the officers told Tamir three times to raise his hands, and that when he reached for what they thought was a real pistol, he was shot.
The video, however, shows officers in a cruiser pull up within several feet of Rice, who was not with a group, but by himself underneath a gazebo. Immediately, even before the car stops rolling, the cruiser's passenger side door opens, an officer emerges and fires at Tamir, who drops to the ground.
Deputy Police Chief Ed Tomba said the officers ordered Tamir to "show your hands" three times from the ajar passenger door, but it's hard to believe that's possible based on the video.
The shot that struck Tamir appears to have been fired the very moment the officer stands up after getting out of the car.
They waited two seconds to shoot him, and four minutes to give him first aid.
This is a pattern: Police shoot an unarmed black person; police give bullshit account of shooting; witnesses contradict police account; police account changes; video shows they are lying. And then the discrediting of the victim begins.
Rice was only 12 years old; he hadn't even been allowed to live enough life to rummage through, cherry-picking details of his alleged thuggery in order to victim-blame him. So, instead, the Northeast Ohio Media Group published a story about Rice's father's history of domestic violence. (Link goes to piece critical of the decision to publish the story; not the original story itself.) The NEOMG then defended its decision to publish this irrelevant, demonizing swill with an editorial that said, in part:
One way to stop police from killing any more 12-year-olds might be to understand the forces that lead children to undertake behavior that could put them in the sights of police guns.Sure. They published information about his father's history of domestic violence because they care so fucking much about black children's lives.
So our reporters at NEOMG have been looking into Tamir's background, to see if he lived a life exposed to violence that could explain why it might be normal for him to randomly aim what looks like a real gun in a public place.
Which is to say nothing of their absurd contention that only children exposed to violence play with toy guns. And all children who play with toy guns are definitely viewed as "undertaking behavior that could put them in the sights of police guns."
The reality is this: White children can openly carry real weapons in public without the threat of police violence. But a black child in a park playing with a toy gun in an open carry state is dead.
That isn't about anything Tamir Rice and/or his family did or didn't do. That's about white supremacy and a deeply entrenched history of state-sanctioned violence against black bodies.
Ferguson
[Content Note: Police brutality; racism.]
Last week, the grand jury convened to decide whether to indict Officer Darren Wilson in the shooting death of Michael Brown returned their decision: No indictment. Though the decision came early in the day, the announcement was scheduled for prime time, and, after a delay past its scheduled start, St. Louis County prosecutor Robert McCulloch gave a long, incredibly defensive, and totally inappropriate statement, essentially explaining the shitty and insufficient case he brought before the grand jury.
By way of reminder, McCulloch could have simply opted to indict Wilson. And there is no double jeopardy attached to convening a second grand jury in order to try to secure an indictment. This was not a trial. But the entire thing was a farce, designed specifically to absolve Wilson as thoroughly as possible.
Protests ensued. And continue, throughout the country.
The response to the failure to indict and the ongoing protests, especially among white people, has been predictably heinous.
Following days in which he refused to apologize to Michael Brown's family, and asserted he would not do anything differently given the chance, Wilson finally, begrudgingly, resigned. He will not get a severance package. Except, of course, for the $400,000 raised on his behalf by his supporters.
I've been commenting on these developments over the last week on Twitter. For those who don't follow me on Twitter, here is a collection of highlights of my tweets and retweets.
My tweeting has been visceral, reactive, angry. I want to let that stand as my primary commentary. I don't feel inclined to write a pallid thinkpiece, my rage carefully edited out to make it more palatable. On the other hand, as a white woman, the rage that I feel shouldn't be centered in this moment. This is a moment for listening.
There are pieces of recommended reading written by black women and men linked in the Storify. Read them.
And listen to Jay Smooth, who is brilliant as always:
Transcript here.
And, as always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share links to other pieces in comments.
This is, for white people, a moment to listen to black people. And it is a moment in which we are obliged to speak to one another. To challenge each other. To communicate, unequivocally, that we have a zero tolerance policy on racist rhetoric and behavior. To take the time, when we see opportunities and openings, to educate other white people, or at least give it a good goddamn try. To step up.
This is not the time (it never is) to be a bully under the guise of being an ally. To tone police black people. To mount bitter complaints about #BlackLivesMatter, because "all lives matter." To distance ourselves from white privilege, or to pretend that saying, "I would never behave that way" is a statement of solidarity and not a selfish petition to be recognized as "one of the Good Ones."
To paraphrase an old post, this is the time to stop obliging black people to reassure you that you're one of the Good Ones, and just start being one of them.
This is the time for white people who agree that #BlackLivesMatter to make sure it is not just a statement of fact, but an action we take every day.
The Virtual Pub (+ Programming Note)
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
We are going to be taking next week off, since next week is Thanksgiving week in the US and many of the mods will be traveling and/or visiting with family and friends.
Since this holiday can be a troubling time for lots of folks, and it's a time when some of us most need community, I will be opening and modding a thread mid-week so people can hang out together here, if they want and need company.
We will resume our regular schedule on Monday, December 1.
If you are someone who celebrates Thanksgiving, I hope you have a nice holiday. Safe travels to everyone who may be traveling next week!
The Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by dirt.
Recommended Reading:
Tracy: [Content Note: Transphobia; violence] TDoR Is Forever, but Transphobia Doesn't Have to Be
stavvers: [CN: Sexual assault; rape culture] On Ched Evans, Rehabilitation, and My Total Lack of Pity
Israa: [CN: Misogyny; racism; objectification; discussion of orientalism in porn] On Orientalism
Alessandra: [CN: Human rights violation; detention] Nobel Laureates Call for Release of Iranian Student Omid Kokabee
Kari: [CN: Abduction; violence] Mexico Protesters Confront Police in Mass Protest for Missing Students
BYP: [CN: Police brutality; racism] Unarmed Man Fatally Shot by Police in Brooklyn
Kyler: [CN: Homophobia] ACLU Will Sue Kansas to Force State Agencies to Recognize Same-Sex Marriages
CaitieCat: Review of Firefly: The Board Game
Leave your links and recommendations in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!
Republicans Sue Over Affordable Care Act
House Republicans filed a long-threatened lawsuit Friday against the Obama administration over unilateral actions on the health care law that they say are abuses of the president's executive authority.The unmitigated cheek of Republicans suing a Democratic administration for a corporate giveaway. I am literally without words.
The lawsuit — filed against the secretaries of the Health and Human Services and Treasury Departments — focuses on two crucial aspects of the way the administration has put the Affordable Care Act into effect.
The suit accuses the Obama administration of unlawfully postponing a requirement that larger employers offer health coverage to their full-time employees or pay penalties. (Larger companies are defined as those with 50 or more employees.)
In July 2013, the administration deferred that requirement until 2015. Seven months later, the administration announced a further delay, until 2016, for employers with 50 to 99 employees.
The suit also challenges what it says is President Obama's unlawful giveaway of roughly $175 billion to insurance companies under the law. According to the Congressional Budget Office, the administration will pay that amount to the companies over the next 10 years, though the funds have not been appropriated by Congress. The lawsuit argues that it is an unlawful transfer of funds.
Garbage Treasures! (And Happy Birthday to Deeks!)
As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.
But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.
Clockwise from left: A pamphlet for the Mütter Museum, which is apparently "disturbingly informative"; an "I'm Ready for Hillary" bumper sticker, because Deeks knows how much I love Clinton pressure campaigns THEY ARE MY FAVORITE; an "I voted" sticker; an advertisement for erotic videos, which warns it should be only be opened by recipients interested in perusing a "sexually oriented advertisement," and has already been opened; and a brochure on fraud warning that "cheating the system" is illegal.
This is, by the way, only about half of the total contents of the envelope. Also: Here is what happened the first three times I tried to take the above picture, lol.
As you also may recall, Deeky loves sending me Guy Fieri garbage treasures, and this package arrived with Guy Fieri's trademark "Mop & Slop!" scrawled on its top in Deeky's handwriting.
Before I even opened it, I texted him: "There had better not be some Guy Fieri trash up in this box!" To which he replied: "LOL!!!"
Two minutes later...
Liss: GODDAMMIT I HATE YOU.
Deeks: Hahaha!!!!!!!
And then he texted me a picture of himself holding the bottle before he sent it, which he'd thoughtfully memed for me.
Finally, the package included a bright orange shark friend for me!
We are already having SO MUCH FUN together!
* * *
Whenever I'm having a day where I can't decide about what to write, I text Deeks and ask him, "What should I write about?" And every time, he replies, "Me!"
Since Sunday is his birthday—HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEEKS!—I have decided to do just that.
One of the luckiest things that has ever happened to me because of this blog is meeting and becoming friends with Deeky W. Gashlycrumb.
We have made each other laugh, we have talked about the worst things that have happened to us, we have annoyed the shit out of each other, we have gotten tattooed together, we have watched terrible television via text, we have survived watching Heaven Is for Real together in his lovely Baltimore flat, we have sent each each other obnoxious gifts through the mail, we have eaten the best macaroni and cheese on the planet together, we have talked about movies and music and television shows and politics and culture and food and cats and dogs and love and sex and aging and family and surviving.
We celebrate when one of us has a success, and commiserate when one of us is hurting. Which, you know, is the basic job of being a friend, I guess.
But what makes a friend your family is the hard stuff. We worry about each other; we make sure the other is taking our meds and doing self-care. We always have each other's backs. We don't fucking disappear, and we carry each other's pain when the burden is too much to carry alone. We know when the right thing is to say, "What can I do?" and when the right thing is to make the grossest of jokes, to provide the space to think about something, anything, else.
Which, you know, is not actually the easiest thing for two people who are shy and awkward and selfish and guarded and a thousand miles apart. But Deeks is worth the effort, and I try to make myself worth the effort right back.
My life is better because Deeky is in it. To have a friend like that is a precious thing, and I am very lucky.
I love you, pal. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
[Content Note: Misogyny.]
"We wish to express our support for members of the community who rightly brought this issue to the fore, and we condemn the unreasonable attacks they experienced as a result, which caused deep distress in our community. ...The AAS Council reaffirms the importance of the Society's anti-harassment policy to our mission to enhance and share humanity's scientific understanding of the universe. Only when all astronomers feel welcome and supported in the profession can our discipline realize its full potential for excellence."—From the American Astronomical Society's statement on Dr. Matt Taylor's misogynist shirt donned during the Philae landing, and in defense of those who criticized it.
Daily Dose of Cute
Earlier today, I walked into the living room to find Zelda curled up on the loveseat using her big plush ducky as a pillow:
When I sat down on the ottoman beside her to give her all the snuggles because she is SUCH A GOOD GIRL, she rolled over onto her back with a big smile on her face, imploring me to rub her belly:
Just look at her! The grin on her face! Naturally, enormous amounts of cuddly belleh rubbing immediately commenced!
* * *
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
[Content Note: There is a strobe-light effect in this video.]
The Spin Doctors: "Two Princes"
This week's TMNS brought to you by the number two. I bet you thought the Open Threads were gonna be brought to you by the number two! Did I fool ya?!
Btw, this is one of my most loathed songs of all time. I hate this band, I hate this song, and I hated that I COULDN'T ESCAPE it for at least two years but what felt like FULLY ONE HUNDRED YEARS in the early '90s, lol.
In the News
Here is some stuff in the news today...
[Content Note: Extreme weather; death] The snow has slowed in and around Buffalo, after a truly epic (in the old sense of the world) snowstorm, which caused 13 deaths, including two elderly residents of a nursing home yesterday, who died during an evacuation when the roof began buckling. Buckling roofs and busted doors and windows are the major concern now, and, once such an enormous amount of snow starts melting, flooding will be a major concern. I've been there, after major snows, and it's incredibly stressful. My profound sympathies to everyone who's dealing with this stuff right now.
[CN: Police brutality; racism] Police are arresting protestors every night in Ferguson, because of course they are.
[CN: War on agency] Ohio Republicans are really determined to be choice-restricting assholes: "This week, Republican lawmakers in Ohio pulled out all the stops to advance an extreme anti-abortion bill in the state's lame duck session. They added the legislation to the schedule at the last minute on Thursday morning, and even restructured a House committee—replacing the legislators who oppose the measure with different legislators who support it—to ensure the bill's passage. HB 248, which now heads to a vote in the full House, would criminalize abortion after a fetal heartbeat can be detected, something that typically occurs around six weeks of pregnancy. That shaves off about 17 weeks from the window that [pregnant people] can access legal abortion services under Roe v. Wade. It's also so early that many [people] may not even realize they're pregnant at that point."
[CN: Misogyny] BIG TENT! "House Republicans filled every one of their open committee chair spots with men even though there are more women in Congress than ever before. All nine of the new committee chairs are men, and all are white except for Devin Nunes (R-CA), who is of Portuguese descent and will chair the Intelligence committee. Of 21 House committees, only one will be headed by a woman, Rep. Candice Miller (R-MI), who will chair the House Committee on Administration. The Senate is also likely to only include one female committee chair out of 16, Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AL), with the other 15 chairs being white men." It continues to be a real mystery why Republicans aren't connecting with a majority of female voters.
[CN: Homophobia] Goddammit: "Gambia's leader Yahya Jammed signed a bill into law that would imprison citizens for homosexual acts." People who are found guilty of "aggravated homosexuality" will be sentenced to life in prison. Why is this shit happening in Africa now? In large part because of US conservative Christians who are peddling their violent hate gospel over there.
[CN: Privacy violations] Privacy schmivacy! "The ACLU is filing a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request today for information about a newly revealed Marshals Service program that uses aircraft to suck up location data from tens of thousands of people's cell phones at a time. The U.S. Marshals Service program, exposed last week by the Wall Street Journal, involves Cessna planes equipped with 'cell site simulators' flying from at least five airports around the country. Cell site simulators, also called IMSI catchers, impersonate a wireless service provider's cell tower, prompting cell phones and other wireless devices to communicate with them instead of the nearest tower. In doing do so, the simulators can learn all sorts of information that facilitates accurate location tracking, including the electronic serial numbers and other information about the phone and the direction and strength of the phone's signal." Neat! America 2.0 is terrific!
An older sister shared (with permission) her younger brother's text conversation with his best friend during which he came out to him. It is probably the best thing you'll read all day.
This is just an amazing video of a crow using the lid of a jar to ski down a roof. The great thing about being a skiing bird is that you've got your own build-in ski lift!
How Magnanimous
[Content Note: Police brutality; racism.]
Officer Darren Wilson, the Ferguson police officer who shot and killed unarmed black teenager Michael Brown, may resign from the force:
Officer Darren Wilson is close to resigning from the Ferguson Police Department as a grand jury continues to decide whether to indict him in the fatal shooting of an unarmed teen.Oh fuck off forever.
Various media outlets, including CNN, have reported that Wilson has told associates he would resign to help ease tensions and protect his fellow officers ahead of the grand jury announcement.
First of all, why is his resignation even an option for him? He should have been fired months ago.
Secondly, there aren't instruments sufficient to measure my contempt for this guy positioning himself as some kind of martyr who will resign to protect other officers, allowing him to then claim responsibility for "easing tensions" if he is indicted and the world does not, in fact, blow up as he and every other asshole from Ferguson to Fartsville is predicting it will.
That is some kind of extraordinary chutzpah, right there. "If people don't riot, it will be because of my generous peacemaking gesture!" Dude. The only reason there is a possibility of riots is because you are a cruel murderous fuck.
Let us all take a second to appreciate that the officer who totally definitely for sure didn't shoot Michael Brown in the street because of racism is implying that he is a white savior who will sacrifice himself in order to protect other people from violent hordes of black protestors.
This fucking guy.
So the President Gave a Speech Last Night...
...in which he announced a series of executive actions on immigration that will provide at least temporary relief to nearly five million undocumented immigrants in the US.
Some relevant links:
* The transcript of his address.
* The White House Fact Sheet on the announced executive actions.
* Sahil Kapur's helpful "All You Need to Know" piece at TPM.
Naturally, of course my garbage nightmare governor wants to sue the President to stop the executive action. And if he doesn't do it, some other garbage nightmare governor will. Or maybe they'll do it together! Cute.
My take is that it's something, and that's good, but it's insufficient, which is bad. I basically need a macro to insert that as a response to virtually every single Democratic policy that gets enacted in Washington.
Anyway.
Last night, after hearing some conservatives complaining about how "illegal immigrants" (*grinds teeth*) don't pay taxes (which is not universally true), I said to Iain: "Those same conservatives bitterly complain about paying taxes all the time and constantly argue for ever greater tax cuts. They want an effective tax rate of 0%. So why do they even care if undocumented workers don't pay taxes? JEALOUSY?"
Relatedly, I've found that people who complain about undocumented workers' failure to pay taxes don't respond well to having it pointed out to them that the best way to ensure people can and do pay taxes is via amnesty. Huh.
