This blogaround brought to you by bells.
Recommended Reading:
Trudy: Steve McQueen's Infectious Joy
Angry Asian Man: Robert Lopez Is the First Filipino American to Win an Oscar
Jon: [Content Note: War] Sarah Palin, Wall Street Journal Rewrite History of Russia-Georgia War
Genevieve: [CN: Disordered eating; racism] Eating Disorders Affect Asian Women, Too
Prison Culture: [CN: Solitary confinement] Still Torturing Children
Nicole: [CN: Domestic abuse; hetero/ciscentrism] A Home of Our Own: Temporary Housing and LGBTQ Intimate Partner Violence
Becky: Image Comics Publisher Calls Women "The Fastest Growing Demographic" in the Industry
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
The Monday Blogaround
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
[Content Note: There is a strobe-light effect in this video.]
The Cranberries: "Linger"
Criticism is not Maoist Oppression, Even on Twitter
[Content note: Discussions of hate crimes, rape, rape apologia, sexual abuse, racist appropriation, violent imagery]
This is a story about racist appropriation and rape apologia. This is a story about what can happen when people of less privilege criticize a more privileged "ally." It's about the critics being accused of silencing and bullying, even as the more privileged person is free to ignore the substance of their criticism. And it’s a story about why demanding unity in these discussions, or talking about "toxic Twitter," or insisting that we all be okay with this because someone is such a "good guy," is harmful and, frankly, complete bullshit.
On Thursday last week, Mike Elk (@MikeElk, labour journalist and reporter for In These Times) began musing on Twitter about Dylan Farrow’s account of childhood sexual abuse. In doing so, he made the following astonishing tweet, screencapped by Rhania Khalek (@RhaniaKhalek):
Not surprisingly, a few people had a few things to say about that, and Elk received massive pushback on Twitter, such as this response from William C. Anderson (@williamcander):
BrooklynBarangay (@nilliascaiasca) responded by Tweet and in her blog post, "Why journalist Mike Elk can’t compare Emmett Till to Woody Allen (duh) and why he needs to apologize." She quotes some of Elk’s Twitter exchanges and outlines the tweet’s fucked-up intersection of racist appropriation and rape apologia:
…let’s parse this out. Mike Elk is equating the systemic, white violence against Blacks in the South to (wait for it) DYLAN Farrow. A girl, now a woman, who said her step-father molested her. Wait. What? That can’t be true can it? Ok, so he says that by not giving Woody Allen’s the benefit of a doubt is like giving the accusers of Till (White, racist, lynch mob, police, the whole damn Jim Crow South) a benefit of a doubt. Woah. (besides offensive it just doesn’t make sense.)So if Dylan Farrow is like the Jim Crow South then who the hell is Woody Allen?? Emmett Till. Yep, this so called "journalist" just compared Woody Allen to Emmett Till. Remember when Emmett won his lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes? Yeah, me neither. Remember when Woody Allen was found dead, his eye gouged out, and thrown in a river as a 14 year old boy? Yeah, me fucking neither.
I can’t do justice to all of the Twitter conversations or Elk’s responses. I note that he (a) apologized if he offended anyone, (b) explained that he had confused Emmett Till with other victims of white supremacist violence (hint: the Scottsboro boys are not a good comparison either!) and (c) claimed this was all an attempt to talk about "parenting through divorce," but that "the left" wouldn’t allow that conversation. Apparently that’s because of the "bizaree[sic] pseudo-maoists on the left that silence debate from other lefties whether in SEIU or twitter war toxicity." So, Black people criticizing the appropriation of Emmett Till to defend Woody Allen are just like Mao? Um, okay then.
In short, this was an ahistorical (and careless) appropriation of white supremacist violence against Black people. It was made in defence of rape culture. And it was followed up by excuses, non-pologies, and claims that people with demonstrably less privilege were silencing Elk by criticizing his intersectional fails.
There were some inspiringly positive communications in this, too. I admire (like WHOA) Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia), who engaged Elk with patience, even when he pulled a derail into Oppression Olympics territory. (I note with bitter irony and profound contempt that it is Kendall who was recently accused by Michelle Goldberg of being “toxic” for challenging white feminist privilege on Twitter. Nope! )
In the midst of that conversation, Aura Bogado (@aurabogado) criticized Elk for ‘splaining Emmett Till to Kendall:
He responded with a series of abusive tweets (again playing Oppression Olympics ) that included the following:
Suey Park (@suey_park) also confronted Elk about his abusive behavior towards Bogado; he responded angrily about her “lecturing” him and subsequently blocked her. When BrooklynBarangay posted her blog about the discussion, Elk responded by insisting that he had apologized dozens of times, and demanded that BrooklynBarangay “correct” her post.
It is not incidental that Suey Park, Aurora Bogado, and BrooklynBarangay are women of color.
I’ve seen a number of commenters on this discussion (many of whom I respect) say that Mike Elk is a good guy (okay) and that he made one unfortunate tweet (nope) and that he deserves a second chance (er, who said he didn’t?).
Let’s be clear: I do not think Elk needs to be ejected from the human race, progressivism, his favourite chair, etc. I do not think he is the most super-racist or misogynist ever to exist. I do think he has some listening, learning, and making amends to do if he hopes to regain some of the trust he lost over the last few days. And I think he’s very fortunate that some of his critics have already been gracious and forgiving towards him.
Let’s ALSO make this clear: people of color criticizing racist appropriation are not Mao, any more than survivors calling attention to rape apologia are Stalin. I don’t give a shit about ideological purity, but I do care about being inclusive and expecting more.
So it would be suuuuper nice if privileged progressives didn’t try to tell those with less privilege what levels of oppression they must be comfortable with.Because I can’t un-see what I saw.
I saw an ahistorical appropriation of violence against African-Americans.
I saw that appropriation wielded in defence of a privileged white man, and in defence of rape culture.
I saw condescension and abuse towards people of color.
I saw women of color who criticized Elk called unprofessional and libelous, and accused of being greedy for Twitter followers, rather than sincerely critical:
(Speaking only for myself: I would not find the offer of reconciliatory beers very inviting after seeing these exchanges. As a DV survivor, I don’t feel safe with a man who sends streams of verbal abuse at women because they have offered criticism. I do not presume to speak for the perspective of the parties involved, but I completely support their right to ignore that go-for-beers talk, for whatever reasons they have. There's some unexamined privilege in insisting that the offer must be accepted.)
I also saw Elk admit that his initial analogy was "fucked up," (yes!) and then proceed to appropriate a different Black man’s experience while yet again engaging in rape apologia (no!)
As of Saturday, Elk repeated his story about his "buddy who was black" and the white woman twice more, here and here.
Now, this story is about something completely and totally terrible, that should not happen to anyone. And it’s something that Elk knows about personally. But it is still not comparable to accusations against Woody Allen. As Yukio Stachan(@boldandworthy) Tweeted: "Why do you keep using race when it comes to Dylan Farrow's accusations against Woody Allen?"
Woody Allen is a white man. Dylan Farrow was a seven year-old white child. Why on earth is there a connection? Are we supposed to equate a grown woman’s grounded-in-racism shame about consensual sex with the sexual abuse of a little kid? (Hint: Children cannot consent.) Or is this just a general comment, that Elk thinks most rape accusations are false? I cannot find a way to parse this that isn’t incredibly gross and disturbing.
I have no idea what’s going on inside Mike Elk’s head. But I know that neither I nor anyone else has an obligation to say "oh well, let’s go for beers" in order to make other progressives feel more comfortable. Mike Elk is not the victim of the "professional left." In fact, he’s not a victim at all. He holds the cards here.
He can refuse to engage substantively with what happened. Chances are, there are plenty of white "progressives" who will be okay with that.
Or can he take advice from people who've engaged him. Like Angus Johnston , who has useful things to say about what happened beyond that one initial tweet. He can listen to Brooklyn Barangay, who also explains that this not about a single tweet, and it won’t be solved by a single one, either:
But it is one tweet, that actually doesn’t make much sense. No need to lose your entire career over it. But then you go and make it worse. You refuse to understand what you did, you refuse to apologize, you call other journalists who are people of color names and harass people of color on Twitter who tried to call you out on your bull-shit. You walk around wrapped so tight in your white, male, privilege mantle, that you can’t do the right thing. Do the right thing – Mike Elk: apologize, get some antiracism education, give more writing time to people of color journalists, write a piece about white privilege in progressive journalism.
Excellent advice. I’ll add: it would also be a good idea to get educated about rape culture. It might also be helpful to consider the process model of being an ally, rather than thinking of it as a fixed state. In Liss’ words:
In the Fixed State Ally Model, the privileged person views hirself as an ally and claims the mantle for hirself. Zie may also acknowledge that zie is always learning and trying to do better, but states that zie is an ally to one or more marginalized populations.In the Process Model, the privileged person views hirself as someone engaged in ally work, but does not identify as an ally, rather viewing ally work as an ongoing process. Zie views being an ally as a fluid state, externally defined by individual members of the one or more marginalized populations on behalf zie leverages hir privilege.
This isn’t just about Mike Elk, although I do hope, in good faith, that Elk considers some of the suggestions mentioned above. It is about recognizing the basic legitimacy of people in marginalized populations talking about their own oppressions. It is about respecting that those who are marginalized have a right to decide for themselves, as individuals, who’s acting in alliance, and who’s not; no-one is owed a fixed-state ally pass. It's about affording people the basic courtesy of deciding for themselves when they can feel safe with someone who's engaged in harmful behavior, instead of demanding instant forgiveness from them.
It’s about what working towards the same end really is. And what it most definitely is not.
In the News
Here is some stuff in the news today.
[Content Note: Domestic violence; racism; guns] The Office of Florida State Attorney Angela Corey says that it is now seeking "to put Marissa Alexander in prison for 60 years, essentially a life sentence, if it succeeds in convicting her for a second time for firing a shot in the direction of her estranged husband and two of his children. ...'It's unimaginable that a woman acting in self-defense, who injured no one, can be given what amounts to a life sentence,' said Free Marissa Now spokeswoman Helen Gilbert. 'This must send chills down the spine of every woman and everyone who cares about women and every woman in an abusive relationship.' Seeking 60 years is an incredibly abusive and outrageous action by Corey, Gilbert said." Please visit Free Marissa Now to explore the different ways you can help, e.g. writing to Marissa or making a donation.
[CN: Violence; guns] On the first day of Oscar Pistorius' trial for murdering Reeva Steenkamp, Pistorius' neighbor testified that she heard a "blood-curdling" scream on the night of the shooting, followed by four shots. It has always been Pistorius' contention that he thought Steenkamp was in bed and believed he was shooting at an intruder, but the testimony of his neighbor, who lives 187 meters away and had her windows open that evening, seems to contradict the possibility that version of events could be true. "I cannot understand how I could clearly hear a woman scream but Mr. Pistorius could not hear it."
[CN: War; violence] Terrible attacks continue in northeast Nigeria, with at least 74 people having been killed in three weekend attacks. "On Saturday, two blasts in a crowded district of Maiduguri left at least 35 dead, while another 39 were killed in the nearby village of Mainok by gunmen believed to be Boko Haram fighters."
[CN: Guns] The district attorney for Walker County, Georgia, has declined to bring charges against a homeowner who shot and killed a 72-year-old man with Alzheimer's who wandered onto his lawn. Terrific. The gun laws in this country are just fucking amazing. Rage. Seethe. Boil.
[CN: Misogyny] Whooooooooooops! "Scientists continue to neglect gender in medical research, endangering women's health by focusing on males in studies that shape the treatment of disease, a report found. The lack of attention to gender differences occurs at all stages of research, from lab to doctor's office, according to the report released today by the Connors Center for Women'€™s Health at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, and the Jacobs Institute of Women's Health at George Washington University in Washington. Animal and human studies typically use male subjects and, even when females are included, researchers fail to analyze and report results by sex, the authors said."
A Drew University baseball player comes out to his team, and gets a warm welcome. Yay!
"Science proves elephants are even smarter than we thought." 1. I love elephants. 2. This, like research on dog intelligence, should really begin to inform what we consider acceptable treatment of these animals. 3. I move that the Republican Party find a new animal to represent their party immediately.
Via Spudsy: "The most adorable Han Solo and Chewbacca are this kid and his dog." OMG!
The Latest in Ukraine
[Content Note: War.]
Following the violent protests in Ukraine which culminated in the ouster of President Viktor Yanukovych's government and the installation of an interim team, Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered Russian troops into the Crimean peninsula in eastern Ukraine, in a bid to seize back the region, where most of the population is ethnic Russian and there is some support for rejoining the Russian state.
An anonymous senior official with the Obama administration reports: "Russian forces now have complete operational control of the Crimean peninsula."
So now the international community has to decide what it's going to do, and NATO is looking to the US and President Obama to take the lead.
There is no serious talk of military intervention, because no one is keen to go to war with nuclear Russia, but there are various degrees of non-military response, some of which are more aggressive and provocative than others.
Working the telephone from the Oval Office, Mr. Obama rallied allies, agreed to send Secretary of State John Kerry to Kiev and approved a series of diplomatic and economic moves intended to "make it hurt," as one administration official put it. But the president found himself besieged by advice to take more assertive action.I'm relieved to have a president who does not think the United States can or should "go it alone" in foreign policy, and instead makes a serious effort to coordinate meaningfully with the international community.
"Create a democratic noose around Putin's Russia," urged Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican of South Carolina. "Revisit the missile defense shield," suggested Senator Marco Rubio, Republican of Florida. "Cancel Sochi," argued Representative Mike Rogers, the Michigan Republican who leads the Intelligence Committee, referring to the Group of 8 summit meeting to be hosted by President Vladimir V. Putin. Kick "him out of the G-8" altogether, said Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, the Democratic whip.
The Russian occupation of Crimea has challenged Mr. Obama as has no other international crisis, and at its heart, the advice seemed to pose the same question: Is Mr. Obama tough enough to take on the former K.G.B. colonel in the Kremlin? It is no easy task. Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany told Mr. Obama by telephone on Sunday that after speaking with Mr. Putin she was not sure he was in touch with reality, people briefed on the call said. "In another world," she said.
...No significant political leaders in Washington urged a military response, but many wanted Mr. Obama to go further than he has so far. Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee, the top Republican on the Foreign Relations Committee, has already devised language to serve as the basis for possible bipartisan legislation outlining a forceful response, including sanctions against Russia and economic support for Ukraine.
The president has spoken out against Mr. Putin's actions and termed them a "breach of international law." But he has left the harshest condemnations to Mr. Kerry, who on Sunday called them a "brazen act of aggression" and "a stunning willful choice by President Putin," accusing him of "weakness" and "desperation."
In addition to Ms. Merkel, Mr. Obama spoke with his counterparts from Britain and Poland on Sunday and won agreement from all the other G-8 countries to suspend preparations for the Sochi meeting and find ways to shore up the economically fragile Ukrainian government. The administration also canceled a trade mission to Moscow and a Russian trip to Washington to discuss energy while vowing to also scrap a naval-cooperation meeting with Russia.
...While Mr. Obama has not gone as far as many in Washington want him to go, the president has been less focused on immediate actions than on making sure he and America's traditional allies are on the same page. Working from the Oval Office over the weekend, wearing jeans and a scowl, he called several of his G-8 counterparts to "make sure everybody's in lock step with what we're doing and saying," according to a top aide.
Kicking Putin out of the G-8 might be a sticking point, as Germany has "publicly expressed opposition to expulsion," but I trust that Obama and Merkel will find effective agreement moving forward. I hope so, anyway.
The truth is, there is no bigger threat to a reasonable solution than Putin. I am, quite frankly, significantly less concerned about what sort of action will be proposed by US-European allies than I am about what bullshit he's going to pull next.
In the meantime, I am thinking of all Ukrainians, and wish them safety and peace.
The Oscars Thread
I didn't watch most of the Oscars last night, so I don't have much of a review, other than: Yay for Lupita Nyong'o, who won Best Supporting Actress for 12 Years a Slave, and gave a beautiful acceptance speech:
Thank you to the Academy for this incredible recognition. It doesn't escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else's. And so I want to salute the spirit of Patsey for her guidance. And for Solomon, thank you for telling her story and your own.Your dreams are valid. Blub.
Steve McQueen, you charge everything you fashion with a breath of your own spirit. Thank you so much for putting me in this position; it's been the joy of my life. [Tears, applause.] I'm certain that the dead are standing about you and watching and they are grateful and so am I.
Chiwetel, thank you for your fearlessness and how deeply you went into Solomon, telling Solomon's story. Michael Fassbender, thank you so much. You were my rock. Alfre and Sarah, it was a thrill to work with you. Joe Walker, the invisible performer in the editing room, thank you. Sean Bobbitt, Kalaadevi, Adruitha, Patty Norris, thank you, thank you, thank you — I could not be here without your work.
I want to thank my family, for your training [laughs] and the Yale School of Drama as well, for your training. My friends the Wilsons, this one's for you. My brother Junior sitting by my side, thank you so much, you're my best friend and then my other best friend, my chosen family.
When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you're from, your dreams are valid. Thank you.
Major wevs to Jared Leto winning Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of a trans woman. If anyone was going to win for that role, it should have been one of the many trans actresses who should have been cast in the first place. Of course, the Academy is way more inclined to reward a cis-het man for his "bravery" in being willing to play a trans woman than to reward the actual bravery of an out trans woman forging a visible career in a deeply transphobic industry.
Matthew McConaughey won Best Actor for the same film, Dallas Buyers Club, in which he played a straight white man with AIDS at the dawn of the HIV/AIDS movement, who transforms from a bigot to a saint, or whatever. (Which reportedly does not even accurately reflect the life of the man on whom the character is based.) "All right all right all phbbbbbt."
And major eyerolling at Cate Blanchett for her display of cognitive dissonance during her acceptance speech for Best Actress, for talking about paying attention to women and telling women's stories while thanking Woody Allen, the architect of a campaign of not listening to his own abused daughter. Good grief, Cate Blanchett. GOOD GRIEF.
Anyway. So Jordan Catalano won an Oscar. Next year, they'd better give one to Skippy Handelman!
A complete list of winners is here. Discuss.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Fat Fashion
This is your semi-regular thread in which fat women can share pix, make recommendations for clothes they love, ask questions of other fat women about where to locate certain plus-size items, share info about sales, talk about what jeans cut at what retailer best fits their body shapes, discuss how to accessorize neutral colored suits, share stories of going bare-armed for the first time, brag about a cool fashion moment, whatever.
Last weekend, Ana Mardoll and I had a conversation about Dressing Professionally While Fat. (Where "professionally" = wearing a suit.) There are lots of women's bodies—not just fat women's bodies—for which traditional suit cuts don't work. Or don't work without a lot of tailoring, which can be expensive.
(A lot of fat women who have to wear professional uniforms, for example, have similar experiences. Although they've usually got even less freedom to make their uniforms work for them. And many fat women who work in careers where "professional" attire isn't required will need to have some variation on "professional" clothes for job interviews, loan applications, etc.)
Short and fat? Get ready to pay to have your suit sleeves shortened if you don't want to look like a kid playing dress-up in your parent's clothes!
Ana mentioned (which I am sharing with her permission) that she'd just discovered the awesomeness of scarves, to help dress up a blouse, as an alternative to a suit. Which: YES! Yay scarves!
I also noted that I'm a big fan of cardigans, in lieu of a suit jacket. I especially love 3/4-sleeve cardigans, which prevent worry about the sleeves being too long.
One of the other good tricks I've learned for dressing up an otherwise more casual outfit is a nice stone necklace. By which I mean agate, for example, which is way more affordable than precious stones like diamonds.
If you have any kind of neck or back problems, a stone necklace can be heavy and thus not a workable solution, but glass beads can be a good alternative, as can fabric necklaces (like this one, for example), which are sort of the best of both scarf/jewelry worlds.
While some all-around stone necklaces work for me, some are too heavy, so I tend toward necklaces with detail up front and a chain around the back, which significantly lightens them. I purchased this on Etsy quite awhile ago for only $19.
Note it also has an adjustable chain, so I am able to wear it with a variety of necklines, to get maximum use out of it.
A simple white tank with a black cardigan looks way more "dressed up" with this necklace.
So: What are your tricks for Dressing Professionally While Fat? Have you found suits that work for you? Do you use accessories? Tell us everything!
Quote of the Day
[Content Note: Misogyny.]
"There's gotta be some downside to having a woman president, right? Something, something that may not fit with that office, correct? ...You don't see any gender deficiency to lead the free world?"—Bill O'Reilly.
I mean, listen, this is such bog standard dipshittery from Bill O'Reilly that normally I wouldn't even bother posting it. But, the thing is, I actually agree with him. There is a downside to having a woman president.
The downside to having a woman president is that epic misogynist fuckos like Bill O'Reilly will no longer be able to have terrific conversations about the femmageddon that a female presidency will surely bring to the nation.
Of course, that's a downside for him, not for me.
False Advertising
[Content Note: Diet talk; disordered eating; hostility to consent.]
Most of us are probably aware, at least on some level, that the "before and after" pictures that accompany many weight loss products aren't legit. Some of them are obviously faked, either via evident Photoshop fuckery or visible attempts to present someone of the same size just dressed in different clothes and sucking in their guts. And some of them are just outright stolen images of people who lost weight:
One such ad, for Wu-Yi Source Tea, claimed to promote weight loss with glowing testimonials from customers. It said one user of the product lost "68 lbs." and offered her photos as proof.Well, it's one reason you should question them. Another reason is because increasing one's fitness doesn't necessarily mean losing weight.
TODAY spoke to Brook Shadwell, who was named and quoted in the ad as saying, "Wu-Yi Tea is the only one I would have used. I'm extremely happy with the results. Looks like I'll be drinking tea now." The ad is "completely false," according to Shadwell.
"I didn't even drink the tea," Shadwell said. "I haven't even tried the tea. I don't even know what this tea is!"
Shadwell, a California mother of two, really did lose the weight — not from any product, but from a year of hard dieting and exercise. Proud of herself, she posted before-and-after photos on her personal blog.
"They took my image from my blog and pulled it to promote their product," Shadwell told TODAY. "I was completely shocked; that's how I felt initially, very shocked."
...One woman's "shrinking" figure has appeared in many ads under many different names: "Jenny Conrad," "Nicole Stevenson," "Kathy Thompson." The truth is, she's a plus-size model from Germany whose image is for sale on stock photo sites. And the "after" shots of her are Photoshopped to make her look thinner.
...Personal trainer Andrew Dixon showed TODAY how easy it can be to go from fat to fit in a flash. "I just slouch down, let my gut hang out, and I haven't shaved yet, so I have no definition," he said, posing for the "before."
Then Dixon quickly shaved his face and chest to "give me some more definition"; slicked back his hair to make it appear time had passed between the photos; changed into slimmer shorts, and added some overhead lighting "which brings shadows below my pecs and in my abs, that sort of pops the muscles out more," he explained.
The "after" shot of the same body, taken just five minutes later, looked dramatically different. "That's why you should question all the before-and-after photos in fitness magazines and advertisements," Dixon said.
Many people, of all sizes, have a weight "set point," which means, without any significant disordered eating, their body weight will vary somewhere between 10-20 pounds, irrespective of their fitness.
I have been about the same weight for almost two decades, and there have been years where I was chain-smoking and getting no exercise and eating nothing close to the healthiest foods for me, and there have been years where I was not smoking and getting lots of exercise every day and eating the healthiest foods for me, and my weight doesn't significantly vary, even though my fitness and general health do. I feel very different when I'm taking good care of myself, but I don't lose significant weight.
Before I'd encountered the Health at Every Size paradigm, that was very discouraging to me. Now, I just feel good that I feel good!
The thing is that there is a lot of discouragement from feeling good about taking care of oneself if one isn't losing weight. I still hear from my doctor every visit that I need to lose weight. "Portion control!" she chirps at me, after literally never having had a single conversation with me about what my portion sizes are.
And, in a piece for Bustle today, Amy McCarthy writes about being a fat woman with an (under)eating disorder. This line is so right on: "I learned quickly that doctors didn't give a shit how I was losing weight, so long as I was."
Years ago, I was terribly ill with a persistent case of bronchitis for months. I was utterly drained of energy and had completely lost my appetite. Not eating virtually anything at all but an occasional bowl of plain rice resulted in my losing weight. (And facilitated a cycle of having no energy. I was probably eating less than 500 calories a day for about a month.) My doctor was thrilled that I'd lost weight. But was less excited about my dangerously low iron levels. I was instructed to get those iron levels back up, but "try to do it without gaining any of the weight back."
That isn't healthcare.
Healthcare, for fat people, starts with believing truly that taking care of ourselves doesn't necessarily mean weight loss. That our bodies are worth taking care of even if they're fat and stay fat.
Even if our "before" and "after" pictures look exactly the same to a casual viewer.
Daily Dose of Cute
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
The Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by shadows cast on snow.
Recommended Reading:
Kalpana: [Content Note: Discussions of homophobia; racism] The Color of the Closet in Professional Sports
Angus: [CN: Rape culture] On Prosecutors Having Survivors of Assault Arrested: It's Not a Zero-Sum Game
Nandini: [CN: Misogyny] Who Runs the World?
Jamilah: The Oscar Statue Is Modeled after an Undocumented Mexican Immigrant Named Emilio Fernández
Angry Asian Man: [CN: Racism] Ignorant Shit You Shouldn't Say to an Adopted Child
Ru: [CN: Misogynoir] Pharrell Responds to Backlash over "G I R L" Cover
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
[Content Note: There is a strobe-light effect in this video.]
Dee-Lite: "Groove Is in the Heart"
This week's TMNS have been brought to you by songs with "heart" in the title.
In the News
Here is some stuff in the news today!
Senate Republicans used a procedural move to block Democratic legislation "that would have provided $21 billion for medical, education, and job-training benefits for the nation's veterans" because they didn't like that the proposed program would have been funded "with unspent money from the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq and the winding down of American military involvement in Afghanistan. The GOP says those are not real savings because no one expected those dollars to be spent as those wars ended." Support the troops etc.
[Content Note: Sexual assault] Democratic New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's Military Justice Improvement Act, which "would remove from the chain of command the adjudication of sexual assault and other serious crimes perpetrated by members of the armed forces," will finally be debated on the Senate floor. Something something House of Cards.
[CN: Fat bias] First Lady Michelle Obama, on the rounds promoting the fourth anniversary of Let's Move, says of speaking with her daughters: "We don't talk about weight. We don't talk about physical appearance. We talk about health." Would that she used the same approach in her national campaign. The fact is, it's disingenuous when "anti-obesity" crusaders claim they aren't talking about fat people's appearance, because "obesity" doesn't describe anything but fatness. And when the First Lady, speaking interchangeably about "obesity" and "lack of healthfulness" says stuff like "we know that we are nowhere near solving this problem once and for all," that is eliminationist rhetoric against fat people, because, for many of us, the only way to get rid of our fat bodies is to get rid of us. I am not a problem to be solved.
[CN: Rape culture] Republican Maine state representative Lawrence Lockman says he regrets saying: "If a woman has (the right to an abortion), why shouldn't a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't (in most cases) result in anyone's death." By which, of course, he means he regrets someone dug up that old quote, not that he actually regrets saying it. Asshole.
[CN: Police misconduct] Two police officers in Midland, Texas, have been suspended for three days without pay after it was discovered they'd made a game out of stealing signs from homeless people. 1. They should have been fired. 2. The woman at the center of this case was homeless. Lots of homeless people have terrible interactions with police, which might be one reason why they don't feel inclined to cooperate with them.
[CN: Guns; violence] More information is being made public about the night Oscar Pistorius killed Reeva Steenkamp, including the fact that his first call after shooting her (he claims accidentally, because he mistook her for an intruder) was not to police or any other emergency services, but to a friend, and that when a security guard from his gated community called after the shooting, Pistorius told him everything was "fine." Um.
Annie-Rose Strasser: "Bitcoin: By the Privileged, for the Privileged."
Game of Thrones Season 4 poster. You're welcome.
Hi!
All the blubs forever.
News anchor Dana Hutchings, a thin white middle-aged woman, in studio, speaks directly to the camera: "For years, Tinney Davidson has waved at students as they walked to the nearby high school. Today she learned just how much her simple act has meant to those going by. Kendall Hanson has the story."I mean, I just love everything about this. Again, I am struck by the colossal power of basic connection between people. "Hi, I'm a human, and it looks like you're a human, too! Hi!"
Cut to video of an elderly white lady sitting in a chair by her front window, waving and smiling. As teenagers walk by, they wave back. In voiceover, the male reporter says: "If you walk by Tinney Davidson's home, there's a good chance you may see her gregarious smile and enthusiastic wave. It's something students walking to and from Highland Secondary have noticed, and The Wave has become part of their daily routine."
Cut to an interview with Tinney, who smiles as she says: "I just like the look of the children, and, and they all looked in, and I thought, well, if they're looking in, I'll wave to them! And that's how it started."
In voiceover, the Hanson says to a thin white teenage boy: "It seems like all the kids always wave at her." The boy replies: "Yeah. At first, it was pretty strange, so, you know, you'd wave back, but then it started to become a thing."
Over footage of Tinney waving, Hanson says in voiceover: "Tinney and her late husband Ken Davidson started waving at the passing kids when they moved to this home in 2007." [image of small white house; photo of Tinney and Ken, an elderly white man] "A couple of years ago, Ken passed away. But Tinney has continued what had become their tradition."
Cut to an interview with Tinney, who smiles as she says: "I love it! And they seem to like it also! So, you know, it's been a fun few years."
Over footage of students welcoming Tinney to the school, Hanson says in voiceover: "The students feel likewise, and so, this Valentine's Day, the school invites Tinney to an assembly. And she has no idea what she is in for."
A white male student says on a mic that they want to repay the kindness "she has shown us." Hanson says in voiceover: "A rock star welcome." Students jump to their feet and wave and cheer and applaud, as Tinney waves back at them. A white female student wishes on a mic wishes her a happy Valentine's Day and gives her a basket of handmade hearts. Hanson: "Student-made Valentines." On a big screen, a white male student thanks her, followed by video of students waving. Hanson: "And a video of thanks for all the waves." Tinney dabs at tears with a tissue.
Cut to an interview with a white female student, who says: "She waves at me every day as I walk to school, and I can always count on her to be that warm smile on a dreary day."
Cut to a white female student, who smiles as she says: "She does it on your way to school, and she does it at lunch, and she does it after school."
Cut to a white female student, who says: "She's just one of those people who's like pumping everyone's attitude up."
Cut to a white female student, who says: "It makes everyone stay a little bit brighter."
Cut to Tinney, in the auditorium, who says, laughing: "I'm overwhelmed by all this; it's just wonderful."
Over video of students hugging Tinney, Hanson says: "A reminder that seemingly small gestures can make a big impact. On behalf of all the hearts you've warmed, Tinney Davidson, happy Valentine's Day."
Hi. I see you.
[H/T to Veronica, who saw it at Twisted Sifter.]
Discussion Thread: Fat-Friendly Healthcare Providers
Given our discussion of that vile WaPo piece yesterday, I thought it might be useful to open up a thread in which we could share recommendations for fat-friendly healthcare providers. If you have a doctor, any kind of doctor, therapist, alternative healthcare provider, who is fat-friendly—including dentists, optometrists, etc. who may simply provide chairs or other equipment who accommodate fat patients—and you feel comfortable leaving their name and location in comments, recommend away.
Also: There exist a number of resources online for fat people seeking to find fat-friendly healthcare providers, and you are welcome to drop links to those in comments, too.
Please note this isn't a thread for identifying doctors who aren't fat friendly. Positive recommendations only, so there's no risk of mistaking a warning for a recommendation.
