[Content Note: Discussions of sexuality and consent.]
So, there's one more thing I want to say about the release of Beyoncé's new album and video, with my thanks to Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) for inspiring me to tease out these thoughts.
There has been, already, a fuckheap of feminist and unfeminist criticism directed at Beyoncé because of the way she expresses her sexuality in the video portion of the release. It's described (shittily) in the LA Times thus: "Beyoncé vamps as the trophy wife to her lust-filled husband, Jay Z, in the video to 'Drunk in Love,' does a steamy striptease for him in another clip."
I won't rehash the criticisms, because they're exactly what you'd expect them to be.
Here's the thing: I am a survivor of sexual violence, and the particular way in which Beyoncé is sexy with her partner feels to me like a demonstration of sexual trust. That's something I had to work for so hard, and it is profoundly compelling to me to see images of a woman in a sexual context who clearly feels safe. That's powerful.
Those sorts of images of women are so rare. Utterly in control. Not in imminent threat of being exploited. Respected in a sexual context.
I don't know if I'm a sex positive feminist, because I've seen that defined a lot of different ways, some of which resonate with me and some of which don't, but I am without question a consent positive feminist.
Feeling safe with and trusting one's sexual partner(s) is central to meaningful consent, and it seems to me like it ought to be central to any definition of sex positivity.
Not every human is a sexual being, but lots of us are, and many of us are women whose sexuality includes sexual interactions with men. When I see images of women partnered with men expressing their sexuality, what I want to see is a woman who feels safe with her partner.
Of course I can't know whether Beyoncé is truly safe, any more than I can know it about anyone else outside my own intimate partnership. But I'm not asserting to know. I'm suggesting that there is another way to view images of female sexuality. I'm offering that maybe the most important thing isn't assessing the act itself, but the interaction creating the space in which it happens.
And maybe it's worth questioning what ends it serves to engage in criticism of a woman of color being sexy in this way or that way, while casually eliding evidence of her being loved and safe and in control of her choices.
Safe
Nope
[Content Note: Rape culture; descriptions of a sexual assault.]
The Nottinghamshire, England, police department inexplicably released this poem, entitled "Nightmare Before Christmas," in some sort of holiday-themed attempt at rape prevention:
Shockingly (not shockingly), survivors' advocates found this to be a TERRIBLE FUCKING IDEA.
Cathy Saunders, of Midlands Women's Aid, said the poem trivialised sexual violence and should be withdrawn. ..."I'm quite appalled that the authorities thought this would have the desired effect on perpetrators," said Ms Saunders.Which is to say nothing of the fact that the poem depicts the imaginary exemplar survivor as having been conscious during the attack, then stumbling into a police officer (who reflexively believed her!) to whom she gave such a perfect description of her attacker that they were able to immediately pursue him, but then, for some reason, she "stumbles" home and suddenly isn't aware how or where she was attacked. WHUT.
...Leonie Mountain, rape project manager at the Incest and Sexual Abuse Survivors in Newark, said: "I am concerned this poem does not give out the impact rape and sexual violence has on its victims. "The effects are - and can be - life-changing and very long-lasting. I don't think the poem depicts this."
Thank goodness for the police, who can be HEROES even despite basketcase victims, eh?
Naturally, the police are defending their terrific poem, which looks a hell of a lot less like rape prevention than it does a bunch of smoke being blown up their own asses about how awesome they are, appropriating a hypothetical survivor's story to centrally feature in their congratulatory backslapping session.
The force denied the poem was offensive and said it was targeting attackers.Bonus exploitation points for sending out a female spokesperson to make a statement about this shit.
...Helen Chamberlain, from Nottinghamshire Police, said she did not believe the poem was misguided at all.
"We have been heavily criticised in the past for focusing on victims and giving out persistent warnings to victims about keeping safe. This year we decided to try a different tactic and target the perpetrator. I accept it has caused a stir and caused people to talk and that's what it was meant to do," she said.
This is the same garbage defense we see over and over when "rape prevention" efforts epically fail: "We just wanted to get people talking." Well, if you're getting people talking about the critical importance of consent and boundaries, then you have succeeded. But if you're getting people talking about how gross your goddamn "rape prevention" project is, then you have failed.
Happy fucking holidays, Nottinghamshire PD.
[H/T to Shaker MMC.]
The Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by clouds.
Recommended Reading:
Trudy: Beyoncé's New Self-Titled Album Is a Manifesto of Black Womanhood and Freedom
Rachel: Digital Mammography: Is Newer Always Better?
Carla: [CN: Racism; police malfeasance] How it Feels to be a Whistleblower
Andy: [CN: Homophobia] Indiana Catholic Bishops Issue Statement on Gay Marriage Ban, Refuse to Take Position
Tressie: Teaching Stratification and Blogging as Pedagogy
Mike: Medical Tourism Is a Really Bad Solution to the Healthcare Cost Problem
Emi has three pieces—One, Two, Three—on the "Transgasm" project that are all worth a read.
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
The Smashing Pumpkins: "Today"
This week's TMNS brought to you by bands with female bassists.
Daily Dose of Cute
General Burnside: Sunshine Monster
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
Discussion Thread: I Could Live Without, But...
So, after my local store stopped carrying these scrubby bath gloves I like, I bought something else, and it was so not as good. I missed my bath glove! I had to order some online, and I was inordinately happy once they arrived and I could shower with my glove again. Nothing beats them—I can get my scrubby little fingers right into my ear!
Plus: I can use them foreverrrrrrrr and they're only a $1! That is what I call a bargain.
Anyway.
I was thinking about how ridiculously happy these $1 gloves make me, and I thought this would be a fun discussion: What thing under $5 could you totally live without, but just totally makes your life better?
TV Corner: Scandal
[Content Note: Spoilers, violence, and misogyny.]
"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me."
Hey, remember when Olivia Pope and her team used to have clients and used to fix things for those clients? That was a weird time, huh?!
Whuuuuuuuuuuut this episode! WHUT. I don't even know what is happening! It was all I could do not to scream and throw things at the television when I had to watch Command and Fitz talk about Olivia like they were two schoolyard bullies fighting over a toy. "It's mine!" "No, it's MINE!" FUCK BOTH OF YOU IT BELONGS TO THAT GIRL OVER THERE AND HER NAME IS LIV AND SHUT UP!
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
And, of course, everything and everyone else was terrible, too!
Vice President Sarah Michele Palinbachmann killed her husband, and called on Cyrus to help cover up the crime. Devils and hell and 666. And Mellie menaced Vice President Sarah Michele Palinbachmann, because of course she did. But in the most ladylike way!
Quinn extricated herself from B613 after failing to murder Command, only to show up at Olivia's office and find Huck, who told her he wasn't sorry, and that if it wasn't for Liv, he would have pulled out all of Quinn's teeth and peeled off all of her skin, and then he told her she's not a gladiator anymore. Neat scene! So all that was left to do for Quinn was make out with Charlie.
Charlie seemed so nice in Adventures in Babysitting. What happened to him?! Poor Elisabeth Shue.
James tried to tell David Rosen that Mr. Sarah Michele Palinbachmann was MURDERED, but David wasn't all that interested. He did show James a cool test he saved from when he was a teacher in which the student had answered every question with the drawing of a penis, though! It was worth the trip to the US Attorney's office just to see that, I bet.
David got a little more interested when a lady who was contracted to design a phone snoop program for the NSA showed up with a recording of the veep confessing to Cyrus that she murdered her husband. Whoooooops!
Cyrus said ten million mean things to James, totally manipulative and coercive, as usual, and then said he hopes James still loves him. What a terrific relationship. And, since he'd basically taunted James by pointing out he can't beat him, James apparently decided to join him, telling Cyrus he'd stay if he's given the role of White House Press Secretary. Perfect. Great couple.
Abby and Harrison didn't have much to do except stand around, because there are no clients anymore. Sad trombone.
And then there was THE BIG STORY: Liv's mom is a terrorist spy thief monster. I have to tell y'all, I didn't expect a lady to be the Big Bad in Scandal. (And I still kind of don't. I await the inevitable ten more reversals before we arrive at something resembling the truth!) And she killed the men on the President's plane and disappeared into the wind. But then called Liv from in front of the White House lulz. Oh boy.
Meanwhile, Command is pisssssssssssed. Not only did the President take him hostage (and LOL Command's VERY HONEST SPEECH about how Fitz is an overprivileged malcontent who can't appreciate anything because he never had to work for it), but Jake usurped him as the snakehead at B613! YIKES.
But before he ousted Command, Jake told Olivia he loves her, obviously, and cautioned her, QUITE REASONABLY, to remember that even if her mom is bad, it doesn't make Command good. GOOD ADVICE, JAKE. A+.
As if to prove the point, Command tells Olivia on another fun phone call that she will never never NEVARRRRRRRRR get the answers she so desperately wants from him. But she can have all the pot roast she can eat.
So that is pretty much everything that happened! I am left with so many questions! Like: HA HA are you fucking kidding me that hiring James as the Press Secretary is reasonable? NOPE. And like: Granted, my degree in forensics is from CSI Garbage University, but, since Mr. Palinbachmann died facedown and then laid there awhile, wouldn't there be evident lividity in his face where all the blood had pooled? HE HAD SUCH A WHITE FACE. And like: Aren't Abby and Harrison going to tell Liv that Quinn walked in, tucked to Huck for 30 seconds, and then disappeared? What's Liv going to do?! AHHHHHH THIS SHOW!
Discuss.
Please Support Shakesville
This is the last day in Shakesville's end-of-year fundraiser, when I ask readers who visit this space and do not generally make donations (but can afford to) to please kick in to support Shakesville and the work we do here.
If you value the content and/or community in this space, and/or on Twitter, please consider setting up a subscription or making a one-time contribution.
Shakesville is run exclusively on donations. I would certainly appreciate your support, if you are able to chip in. The donation link is in the sidebar to the right. Or click here.
My profound thanks to everyone who has donated. Every donation is valued, and each is important to keep Shakesville going.
[Further explanation of fundraising is here. Please note that I don't want anyone to feel obliged to contribute financially, especially if money is tight. Aside from valuing feminist work, the other goal of fundraising is so Iain and I don't have to struggle on behalf of the blog, and I don't want anyone else to struggle themselves in exchange. There is a big enough readership that neither should have to happen.]
In the News
Here is some stuff in the news today!
Yesterday, the House passed the budget bill, but failed to pass the farm bill (which includes food stamp funding). "But an agreement remained elusive on the farm bill, the subject of continuing disagreements between Republicans and Democrats over spending for food stamps and expanding crop insurance for farmers, among other issues. All the House could pass on Thursday was a simple one-month extension of the current law, which Senate Democrats oppose because they think it will distract from the completion of a new bill." OH WELL TIME FOR VACATION!
[Content Note: Drones; killing] "Fifteen people on their way to a wedding in Yemen were killed in an air strike after their party was mistaken for an al Qaeda convoy, local security officials said on Thursday. The officials did not identify the plane in the strike in central al-Bayda province, but tribal and local media sources said that it was a drone. ...The United States has stepped up drone strikes as part of a campaign against Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP), regarded by Washington as the most active wing of the militant network."
Following the implosion of the filibuster, two female judges, Patricia Millett and Nina Pillard, were confirmed by the US Senate to the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit this week. This makes "the first time the court has had five active female judges."
[CN: Driving while intoxicated; killing; class warfare] Here is how the defense for 16-year-old Ethan Couch, who killed four people while drunk driving, used his wealth as a defense for his crimes, ultimately resulting in his getting nothing but probation.
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee keeps threatening to run for president again. Okay. I can stand to watch him lose again.
Would you like to know why eight ladies got their tattoos? Well, then you should definitely read this!
Y'all, I am so over Benedict Cumberbatch and his lectures on how women should do feminism. Kaiser is so right here: "This is getting to be less about Benedict's 'feminism' and more like he's uncomfortable with the idea that women get to decide what our own [fandom] name should be."
Headline of the Day
[Content Note: Racism; Christian Supremacy.]
Megyn Kelly: Jesus and Santa Were White.
Fox News: Fair, Balanced, and So Smart.
Beyoncé: BOOM!
Last night, Beyoncé released a new album, a year and a half in the making, directly to iTunes.
As the West Coast was tucking into bed Thursday night, the singer rolled out one of the best-kept secrets in recent music history: the album she’s spent the past year teasing was now available for purchase on iTunes.This isn't a review, because I haven't heard it yet (although the clips I've heard, e.g., are terrific). I just love that she dropped her new album this way.
The self-titled set comes as a "visual album" featuring 14 new tracks and 17 music videos.
...Working with Jay Z, Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Pharrell Williams, Drake, the Dream, Sia, Ryan Tedder, Miguel, Frank Ocean and Hit Boy, the singer churned out her most ambitious project to date, without ever actually saying she was putting out an album any time soon.
"I didn't want to release my music the way I've done it. I am bored with that. I feel like I am able to speak directly to my fans. There's so much that gets between the music, the artist and the fans," Beyonce said in the album's announcement on Thursday.
"I felt like I didn't want anybody to give the message when my record is coming out," she added. "I just want this to come out when it's ready and from me to my fans."
...The move is stunning, and virtually unheard of, especially considering how the hype machine -- singles, performances, interviews etc. -- that propels pop music up the charts is often treated as equally, if not more important than the work itself.
With her latest work, Beyonce proved she wanted the work to speak for itself -- a luxury rarely afforded to an act of her caliber.
She not only changed the game with the move -- she claimed it.
Don't love: That the usual criticisms and wielding of the feminist yardstick will follow. Fuck. That. I don't believe any individual woman owes anything to feminism, especially when that expectation defines feminism via privilege—a privilege that tends to inform criticisms that elide the particular narratives and oppressions that don't affect white, straight, thin, cis, wealthy and/or educated women.
Anyway. I have no idea how Beyoncé survives and thrives inside a fishbowl of incessant, aggressive judgment. I am utterly in awe of her tenacity.
And I congratulate her on her new album, and her ownership of its release.
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker Mod Hallelujah_Hippo: "What is your favorite/most effective get-shit-done go-to music (genre, artist, album)?"
F#ck You, the People
Last week, Democratic Chuck Schumer sneered at progressive activists, saying that "Left-wing blogs are the mirror image [of the Tea Party]. They just have less credibility and less clout."
This week, Republican Speaker John Boehner is showing a similar contempt for conservative activists:
House Speaker John Boehner is not sorry about his criticism of outside conservative groups.Now, I don't care what they do, either—and I frankly wish the Republican Party was far less concerned with what conservative thinktanks have to say.
"Yesterday, when the criticism was coming, frankly I thought it was my job and my obligation to stand up for conservatives here in the Congress who want more deficit reduction, to stand up for the work that Chairman Ryan did," he told reporters Thursday at a press conference dominated by questions about his dismissal of outside organizations like the Heritage Foundation and the Club for Growth.
"Frankly, I just think that they have lost all credibility," he added.
Asked if he is effectively asking these organizations to stand down, Boehner offered this flat response: "I don't care what they do."
But, honestly, I'm super unthrilled about the fact that representatives of both of the two major parties are basically saying they don't give a fuck about the wills of their constituencies. None of whom have any "credibility," apparently.
Nice healthy democracy we've got here.
Worthy
[Content Note: Body policing; misogyny; rape culture. Please note end-note as well, before commenting.]
A few months ago, I saw this video about Google's autofill feature. The mini-documentary explores how typing in "women need" or "feminists are" or "rape victims are" brings up suggested search phrases that reflect a culture of misogyny and victim-blaming. "Women need to know their place." "Feminists are annoying." "Rape victims are asking for it." These are the first suggested autofills for each of those categories.
I watched this video, a feminist woman who has survived rape, and I thought: "This is what the world thinks of me."
One thing I know for sure, every day, is that I move through a world in that hates me. And wants me very certainly to hate myself.
* * *
Yesterday, one of the things I tweeted as part of the #fatmicroaggressions hashtag was this: "You don't act like most fat people. You have more self-confidence."
In response, @PixieQueer tweeted: "I don't understand this one, how is it a microaggression? (I have hardcore thin privilege)"
I replied: "The implication is that fat people shouldn't have any self-confidence, that we *should* feel bad about ourselves." And, in a further clarification: "The frame has always been, in my experience, shock that I 'manage' to have self-esteem despite my hideous appearance."
Earlier this year, actress Mindy Kaling spoke to this dynamic in an interview with Parade magazine:
I always get asked, "Where do you get your confidence?" I think people are well meaning, but it's pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, "You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You're not skinny, you're not white, you're a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you're worth anything?"This back-handed compliment is something I've gotten from thin people my whole life. I've been told I don't "act" like a fat person, that I don't "walk" like a fat person, that it's "a miracle" I have as much self-esteem as I do.
Similarly, I've been told by men that I don't "act" like a woman, that I don't "talk" or "write" like a women, that it's "cool" how tough or smart or whatever I am—which women, apparently, aren't supposed to be.
It is, as Kaling says, pretty insulting. This surprise, which I am meant to take as a compliment, that I evidently believe I am worth something, despite all the reasons I shouldn't.
* * *
I also tweeted this:
To which I received in reply a single unsupportive retort: "Maybe you constantly overestimate yourself!...do you maybe see a pattern there, huh?....probably not. Haw haw!"
It's precious, in the sort of way that watching a baby squirrel struggle with an oversized nut is precious, that he imagines, after I spent the afternoon publicly writing about the hatred I navigate on a daily basis just as part of my basic existence, I might be hurt by a random stranger's suggestion that the problem in my life is that I overestimate myself. If only I would lower my expectations of who I am, if only I would align my sense of self with the perceptions of those who hate me, life would be so much simpler.
* * *
The thing about living in a marginalized body is that it means there are lots and lots of people with the juxtaposed privilege who are deeply invested in defining my value. And many of them react very badly to any evidence that I reject the value which has been imposed on me.
Sometimes that consternation arrives in the form of rank hatred and shaming. Sometimes it's the sort of policing exemplified by shaming women who take selfies. Who are you, this policing demands to know, to value yourself in a way that I don't? Sometimes it's a back-handed compliment, embedded in which is the reminder that I'm not meant to care about myself. Sometimes it's a daft baby squirrel, throwing a nut at me because he doesn't know what else to do. All he knows is that he's angry I don't hate myself the way he hates me.
It is because I insistently value myself in a way that transgresses my culture's valuation of me that most of my hate mail could be boiled down to this single sentence: Who the fuck do you think you are?
The thing about living in a marginalized body is that it makes caring about yourself a radical act.
And a difficult one. But I am not afraid of difficult things. One would be wise not to underestimate me.
Note: This post is about my experience as a fat feminist female survivor. You may find some of yourself here, or maybe not. I am not purporting to be speaking for anyone but myself. If you see some things here that resonate, but don't speak to your specific and individual lived experience, I invite you to use that resonance to explore how we may connect as allies, rather than to find fault that, in talking about myself, I am not talking about you. In this space, "this is my experience" is an invitation to connection, not an invalidation of your experience.
Recommended Reading
[Content Note: Patriarchy.]
This piece by Lisa Wade of Sociological Images about the dearth of friendships among US adult, white, heterosexual men, as a result of masculinity policing, is so important and powerful.
Routinely, there can be found articles penned by conservatives about "the war on men" or the "war on boys" in the US, raging about the supposedly deleterious effects of "feminizing" male people. The thing is, there is a war on male people in this country, but it's not being waged by feminists. It's being waged by the enforcers of the patriarchy.
Quote of the Day
"[To continue to impose austerity policies] when the private sector is still deleveraging and interest rates are at the zero lower bound is just awesomely destructive."—Paul Krugman, looking at a chart showing "unprecedented" austerity.
[T]here was a brief, modest spurt in spending associated with the Obama stimulus — but it has long since been outweighed and swamped by a collapse in spending without precedent in the past half century. Taking it further back is tricky given data non-comparability, but as far as I can tell the recent austerity binge was bigger than the demobilization after the Korean War; you really have to go back to post-World-War-II demobilization to get anything similar.We the People need help. Our government refuses to give it.
Three Degrees
I know people complaining about the weather is a real drag, but OMFG IT IS THREE DEGREES HERE.
FAHRENHEIT.
I don't know what that little dude is smiling about. Maybe the expression has been literally frozen onto his face.
[Please feel free to use this thread to complain about the weather in your part of the world and/or to drop links to charitable organizations that provide services to people with insufficient shelter or other bad weather related support, e.g. utility subsidies.]
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
Talking Heads: "Heaven"
(Has anyone guessed this week's theme yet? It's a tough one!)
Daily Dose of Cute
Fuzzy
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.
