Shakesville

Film Corner: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH: The Movie.

This film is actually called Gravity, not AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH: The Movie, but it should definitely be called AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH: The Movie, because OMFG.

Astronaut George Clooney (sure) and Astronaut Sandra Bullock (definitely) are floating in outer space doing some astronaut stuff, and the sun is rising over the part of Earth at which they're gazing, and Astronaut Clooney calls it "terrific" in the exact same way my middle school shop teacher said my sad-ass woodworking project was "terrific." The sunrise is rather more spectacular than my garbage birdhouse, so muster a little enthusiasm, Clooney!

Everything in space is so peaceful, and accompanied by twinkly piano-and-strings music, until BOOM! SOMETHING CRASHES INTO THE APPARATUS TO WHICH THEY'RE SUPPOSEDLY SAFELY ATTACHED OMG! Astronaut Bullocks (typo and it stays) frantically reaches for something to stop herself floating out into space, but she CAN'T REACH ANYTHING, and so off she floats holy shit.

"Anybody? Please copy," she whispers, as she tumbles into the void.

YIKES. Now, I can sit through a movie like The Blair Witch Project, or whatever found footage bullshit is currently making people pass out and barf in theaters if their hyperbolic advertising is to be believed, without a flinch or even passing evidence of interest flickering on my face in between my disinterested yawns, but movies like Open Water and Open Water 2: We're Gonna Need a Smaller Boat terrify me! And this is like Open Water 3: This Time It's in Space, so sign me up to be terrified!

Unless I have been deceived by the lack of a prominent Snow Patrol and/or Colbie Caillat song, and this movie was secretly written by Nicholas Sparks, and Astronaut Bullock is flying into outer space so she can get rescued by a handsome angel played by a Hemsworth brother. In which case: PASS.

Quote of the Day

[Content Note: Homophobia; Christian Supremacy.]

"I hear the president reducing or lowering American values by his comments that take place in the public and in the press. Think about the things he's chosen to take sides on. ...[W]e've got Tim Tebow who will kneel and pray to God on the football field. Meanwhile we have a professional athlete that decides he's going to announce his sexuality and he gets a personal call from the United States to highlight the sexuality of a professional ballplayer. These are ways that the culture gets undermined, where it gets divided. The people over on this side take their followership from that kind of leadership. One notch at a time, American civilization, American culture, western civilization, western Judeo-Christiandom are eroded."—Representative Steve King (R-Eprehensible), on how President Barack Obama should be setting a better example by calling Tim Tebow to congratulate him on publicly praying instead of calling Jason Collins to commend him for publicly talking about being gay.

There are a lot of things I hate about this quote, but perhaps most of all is how King couldn't even be bothered to mention Jason Collins by name.

Republicans on the Pulse, As Usual

Public Policy Polling:

PPP's newest national poll finds that Republicans aren't getting much traction with their focus on Benghazi over the last week. Voters trust Hillary Clinton over Congressional Republicans on the issue of Benghazi by a 49/39 margin and Clinton's +8 net favorability rating at 52/44 is identical to what it was on our last national poll in late March. Meanwhile Congressional Republicans remain very unpopular with a 36/57 favorability rating.

Voters think Congress should be more focused on other major issues right now rather than Benghazi. By a 56/38 margin they say passing a comprehensive immigration reform bill is more important than continuing to focus on Benghazi, and by a 52/43 spread they think passing a bill requiring background checks for all gun sales should be a higher priority.

Whoooooooooooooops!

One interesting thing about the voters who think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in American history is that 39% of them don't actually know where it is. 10% think it's in Egypt, 9% in Iran, 6% in Cuba, 5% in Syria, 4% in Iraq, and 1% each in North Korea and Liberia with 4% not willing to venture a guess.

image of Hillary Clinton texting on her mobile phone

"It's in Libya, dipshits."

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Orgy: "Stitches"

Liss and Ana Talk About Elementary

Jonny Lee Miller as Sherlock Holmes scowls at an evidence board while Lucy Liu as Joan Watson looks on

The best scowl. The best stripey jumpers.
[Spoilers are deducing the fuck outta shit herein.]

Liss: OMG I LOVED THIS EPISODE. "I have a gun." "And a penis." Also: Joan solved the case! JOAN SOLVED THE CASE!

Ana: She DID! With the power of empathy! He never would have thought of that.

Liss: And she slammed down the boundaries with a hammer! "I never asked you to protect me." BOOM.

Ana: Natalie Dormer!!!!!

Liss: Natalie Dormer!

Ana: I was SO surprised and happy when she showed up.

Liss: Me too!!! I'm all: Game of Thrones AND Elementary?! WORLDS COLLIDE.

Ana: I love Natalie Dormer so so so much, so that was awesome. I'm actually pretty happy she's alive; I'm never fond of "motivated by the death of innocent maiden" tropes, so this should be interesting. I wondered if they'd resurrect Irene because she's too good a character to leave dead. But I'd also pegged Sherlock as someone who'd have wanted to see her body. They'll need to explain that. So.

Liss: I'm thinking it might be because she was playing a long con on him. In the books, Irene's his match—the one person who bests him.

Ana: True. Maybe she's not a restorer, but a thief?

Liss: Or started out as a restorer, but then started replicating to steal the originals?

Ana: We saw a hilariously bad movie on art crime last year. I'm thinking I remember it saying that a lot of art is fakes. So that might be it. She could be stealing originals OR selling "newly discovered" fake paintings.

Liss: Yes. Something along those lines! Jonny Lee Miller's acting was especially great in this episode. The scene where he uncovers the information about the immunization required for entry to Saudi Arabia! His jaunty little dance! His quivering chin! And the angst when he knocks over the evidence board. And Lucy Liu's quiet, distant assessment of it. So perfect. Also: I loved his stripey jumper!

Ana: I can't tell if we were supposed to AGREE with the guilty guy or if we were meant to be LEARNING to zomg-don't-be-this-guy when he said that "justice" wouldn't be done unless he was able to strangle the real killer. I felt, and this may just be me, that the moment was showing Sherlock hearing something that he would have agreed with earlier in the year and now is realizing that he doesn't agree with, even if he understands the sentiment. So if that's Character Growth, then yay. Difficult to tell yet, though.

Liss: Mm-hmm. I felt that Sherlock was having a looking-in-a-mirror-and-not-liking-what-you-see moment. Especially following on the heels of last week's "something has changed, because we're partners" revelation. I also find it very interesting that as Joan becomes more competent as an investigator, it's almost allowing Sherlock to let down the rigid veneer of detached observation he felt obliged to maintain at all times, because now he's got someone to back him up, someone who he feels complements him, which is making space for him to express emotions. And he's still evidently uncomfortable with that. (Which is also part of learning how to live sober, too.)

Ana: I honestly thought the episode would end with Sherlock lying to Joan and her not knowing. Was SO happy! And very proud of her for seeing that coming.

Liss: Yes. Loved the subtle implication she realizes she has to protect herself from him.

Ana: Very. But kind of sad, too, in a Terrible Bargain way. I've talked about this already in my deconstructions and I want to talk about it some more, but I'm really pleased with how the show exposes sexism in the ways that EVERYONE thinks it's their place to get involved in what Watson does for a living. There are few things more personal than your work—or, rather, I should say that's true for me, as I don't want to speak for anyone else—and it's really telling how everyone on earth feels okay dispensing career advice to Watson in a way that NO OTHER (MALE) CHARACTER is subject to in this show. Thus, I really liked that she confronted Gregson in a professional manner and asked if her work was unsatisfactory and I lol'd SO hard at the "and a penis" line because—issues with coupling "gender" with "body" aside, and that is an issue—she's basically right that he's treating her differently than he treats Sherlock and Bell and himself. That is a problem!

Liss: Right. And he tries to justify it by saying he's concerned because she's not a police officer, but I don't remember his having a sit-down with Bell after he was targeted in a drive-by: "Hey, remember you haven't been a police officer as long as I have..." He took it as read that Bell's aware of the risks associated with his job, and affords him the acknowledgment of agency to know he can competently assess those risks and decide whether doing the job is worth taking them. Joan's proven she can take care of herself in a lot of ways already. Because THIS SHOW.

Discuss.

Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by leaves.

Recommended Reading:

The latest in the Naming and Identity series: Rebekah.

Ed: 527, 501(c)(4), Whatever

Janell: The Rise of Beyoncé, The Fall of Lauryn Hill: A Tale of Two Icons [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism, misogyny, policing, and shaming.]

Christie: Is Obama Delivering on His Promise of a "21st Century" Approach to Drugs?

FMF News: Cervical Cancer Vaccines Will Be Available for $4.50 in Poor Nations

crunkadelic: Getting Free & Staying Free

Ana: The No Place Like Home Trope

Seth: Detroit's Fast Food Workers Strike as National Trend Grows

Angry Asian Man: 13-Year-Old Meets Bone Marrow Donor Who Saved Her Life

BYP: After 17 Years, Long Lost Sisters Reunited at Track Meet

And Jess and I talk about the latest episode of Game of Thrones here. Fair warning: This edition is a little more spoilery than usual.

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

Daily Dose of Cute

image of Sophie the Torbie Cat lying next to me with her paw on my leg

Sophie. "Don't even think about getting up, Two-Legs."
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

In The News

[Content note: Homophobia, racism]

How does it feel to treat me like you do:

Pat Buchanan is still just super nice.

Mika will headline a free concert on May 21 in Paris to celebrate France's marriage equality law and bolster the fight against homophobia in France

Holy hell! Check out this cover of David Bowie's Space Oddity as recorded by Commander Chris Hadfield on board the International Space Station.

Angela Bassett and Patti LuPone are joining the cast of American Horror Story: Coven. Neat!

In a landmark decision, the Hong Kong Court of Final Appeal has ruled that a transsexual woman can marry her boyfriend.

Photo of the Day

This is from my trip to the William Inge Theatre Festival earlier this month. It's me with Elizabeth Wilson, the only surviving member of the original Broadway cast of Picnic from 1953. You might recognize her from her many roles in film (Dustin Hoffman's mom in The Graduate and Roz in 9 to 5, and recently as Sarah Delano Roosevelt, the mother of Franklin D. Roosevelt, in Hyde Park on Hudson). She has become a great friend of the festival and a good friend to many of us who attend. She is a bright shining spirit.

Late Night's So White, I Gotta Throw Shade

So, it is now official: Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers will replace Jimmy Fallon when he takes over The Tonight Show next year.

Meyers will take over the 12:35 a.m. slot after current host Jimmy Fallon vacates the show to take over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno. Meyers has been the odds-on favorite to assume the post since March, as SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels is also the executive producer on Late Night.

"We think Seth is one of the brightest, most insightful comedy writers and performers of his generation," said NBC entertainment chairman Bob Greenblatt. "His years at SNL's Weekend Update desk, not to mention being head writer of the show for many seasons, helped him hone a topical brand of comedy that is perfect for the Late Night franchise."

...So with Last Call recently renewed, that means NBC's new late-night lineup will go as follows: Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Carson Daly.

I will just reiterate what I said on Twitter when it was first reported Meyers was Fallon's likely replacement: "So Jimmy Fallon is taking over for Jay Leno, & Seth Meyers is up for Fallon's slot? If only there were funny people who aren't white men!"

The fact that NBC's late night line-up will remain exclusively straight, white, thin men—who are all also able-bodied and cis, as far as I know—is completely pathetic in the year of our lord Jesus Jones two thousand and thirteen, but how the fuck thick is Greenblatt to pile on with some blinkered bullshit about how Meyers is TOPS OF HIS ENTIRE GENERATION. It's eminently possible to say he's bright and insightful and talented (if that is indeed one's opinion) without making it about how he's SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

Meyers may well be talented and hardworking and whatever, but he also has an enormous amount of privilege. And, under his leadership at SNL, the show has continued to engage in all manner of bullying humor that entrenches marginalization against populations to which Seth Meyers doesn't belong.

Ha ha LUCKY HIM! To be the head writer on a cultural touchstone that upholds his own privileges, only to find himself with a multimillion dollar hosting gig on late night network television! What are the odds?!

*that face*

News from the Conservative Outrage Machine

#1: The IRS was giving "extra scrutiny" to Tea Party groups. This is supposed to be a huge scandal, and we're all supposed to be totally fucking outraged. Except, here's the thing: Tea Party conservatives are explicitly anti-tax. The IRS is tasked with tax collection. So maybe it, you know, makes sense that the IRS would target for greater scrutiny tax-exemption applications from explicitly anti-tax groups? Especially groups that are running their own candidates, given that the charitable exemption has very specific rules about direct political advocacy.

Frankly, the scandal as far as I'm concerned isn't that Tea Party groups were given extra scrutiny; it's that every group applying for charitable tax exemptions aren't held to that standard. (See: Religious organizations.)

Anyway. Don't listen to the liberal liars! This isn't about increased scrutiny being given to a group with decidedly blurry lines (to put it politely) between their (allegedly) charitable arms and political arms! This is about how Obama is a socialist who will come after your guns next! Or something.

#2: BENGHAZI!!!!1!!!11!!!!eleventy!!!!!1!!!! Last November, I wrote: "There may be legitimate criticisms to be made about the administration's handling of Benghazi, but it's virtually impossible to extricate them from the amount of mud conservatives are splattering all over anything in sight, hoping some will stick." Ha ha rinse and repeat FOREVERRRRRRRRRR.

Former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates: "We don't have a ready force standing by in the Middle East, and so getting somebody there in a timely way would have been very difficult, if not impossible. ...I would not have approved sending an aircraft, a single aircraft, over Benghazi under those circumstances. ...Send[ing] some small number of special forces or other troops in without knowing what the environment is, without knowing what the threat is, without having any intelligence in terms of what is actually going on on the ground, would have been very dangerous. ...[Critics suggestions of what the Obama administration should have done are] sort of a cartoonish impression of military capabilities and military forces." Ha ha ya think?!

Truly, at this point the penny should have dropped about what these Benghazi hearings are really all about: A transparent attempt to generate enough "suspicion" that something was so badly bungled it means HILLARY CLINTON SHOULD NEVER BE PRESIDENT!

Welp, good luck, knuckleheads. Apparently you haven't noticed she eats invented scandals for breakfast.

I guess it's easier than actually finding a Republican candidate who can beat her fairly.

Provided she even runs. And ha ha I can't imagine why she wouldn't! Her country respects her and appreciates her service SO MUCH!

19 People Shot and Injured at New Orleans Parade

[Content Note: Violence; guns; racism.]

Yesterday, at a Mothers' Day second-line parade in New Orleans, as many as three shooters opened fire, injuring two children, seven women, and ten men. The injuries ranged from minor grazes to severe wounds; so far, there have been no fatalities. Police are examining footage of the event in the search for the suspected shooters, and have vowed to solve the case. No one is yet in custody.

There aren't perfect words to extend to people who survive trauma. I want to tell the people who were shot: I am sorry, and I am angry, this was done to you. I am glad you survived. I hope you are able to access all the care and support that you need. I hope that being victimized doesn't bankrupt you. I hope you are able to find justice and peace.

If you haven't heard about this shooting, you're not alone.

There are reasons for the comparative lack of coverage of the shooting in NOLA over the weekend—and they are all ugly.

For one, mass shootings have become so common in the US, that a mass shooting where no one dies at the scene barely even registers nationally. (Never mind the devastation that shooting injuries can cause, even if one survives. See: Gabby Giffords.)

For another, the victims were predominantly or all Black. And the shooters are presumed to be Black. And the race of victims of gun violence tends to determine how much privileged people (including and especially the media) care about any shooting incident, even when 19 people are shot.

Relatedly, this was a shooting [CN: image of injury at link] that happened in an urban center, where shootings are not infrequent, and are often associated with gang violence:

Mary Beth Romig, a spokeswoman for the FBI in New Orleans, told the Associated Press that federal investigators have no indication that the shooting was an act of terrorism. "It's strictly an act of street violence in New Orleans," she said.

That is a statement of fact, but it also functions as the granting of permission to not care, because of existent myths and narratives we have about race, about "black-on-black crime," about the criminality in urban centers, about what constitutes terrorism and how lives taken in terrorist acts are valued, about guns.

It functions as a granting of permission to engage apathy because we have decided that places regularly visited by gun violence—especially places with endemic poverty, especially communities of color—are unfixable. Because we have decided that the prevalence of gun violence is reason to abandon a place. We wring our hands over aberrant gun violence in "peaceful communities," and turn our backs on routine gun violence in "violent communities."

The more gun violence there is in a place, the less we collectively care.

That is not good enough. I can't say it any more plainly that that.

Open Thread

Hosted by a painter's hat (with back flaps).

Sunday Shuffle

The Naked and Famous, Punching in a Dream
And you?

Open Thread

image of raw broccoli

Hosted by broccoli.

Happy Birthday Squared, Liss!

Obviously, Deeky beat me to the cake, but hey -- there's no such thing as too much cake, amiright? So here's a cake for the birthday girl, who, because of awesomeness, should have two birthdays and as many cakes as she wants.

Tom Hardy's Existential Puppy Eats Melissa's Cake

Happy, Happy Birthday, Liss!

Open Thread

Origami horse

The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Birthday Pub'

[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Since tomorrow is my birthday, my good friend Ari is taking me on a special surprise birthday outing this afternoon. Yay! I don't know what we're doing yet—VERY MYSTERIOUS!—except for the first part, which is that she is going to teach me how to make her awesome arepas. Best gift ever! So we're closing shop early this afternoon. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and I'll see you on Monday.

Happy Birthday, Liss!

Happy Birthday to you!
I can't Photoshop for shit!
So here is Tom Hardy rebus cake!

Love you!

Robins

image of a nesting robin, whose nest has been built into the vine on our front porch

A pair of robins has built a nest into the vine on our front porch. We were watching them build it over the weekend—such magnificent architects. And then, yesterday, mama took to the nest. I can't wait until we've got baby robins to admire! Squee!