The Onion Can Go to Hell

[Content Note: Domestic violence; "jokes" about domestic violence; descriptions of domestic violence.]

Earlier today, the satirical news outlet The Onion, last seen calling 9-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis a cunt, tweeted the following two tweets about Chris Brown's and Rihanna's recent break-up:

Jess, who gave me the heads-up on this, breaks it down: "I *get* that @TheOnion is trying to poke fun at Chris Brown. But Rihanna is your collateral damage, assholes."

As does Grace, who writes: "Waiting for someone to explain how an article about a real living black woman being beaten to death is 'satire.' I know it'll happen." And: "Beyond disgusted. Hack comedians and media flacks committed to making sure Rihanna is mocked for being a survivor for the rest of her life."

The tweets themselves are contemptible enough all on their own, but they pitch a piece published at The Onion (to which I will not provide a link, but here is a screencap), which expands on the premise in reprehensible detail:

LOS ANGELES—After revealing yesterday that he had recently split up with longtime girlfriend Rihanna, a heartbroken Chris Brown tearfully told reporters that he always thought the 25-year-old singer was going to be the woman he'd beat to death one day. "Despite all the ups and downs, I was so sure Rihanna was the one I'd take by the throat one day and fatally assault, and even toward the end I continued to hold out hope that we'd be together until the day she died at my hands from blunt-force trauma," Brown, 24, said in a radio interview this week, telling DJs he still has abusive feelings for his ex-flame and is hopeful that he might punch her again one day. "It's hard knowing that there's some other guy out there who gets to beat her senseless. In fact, for all I know, there might be someone out there assaulting her right now. And let me tell you, that guy is the luckiest guy in the world." A saddened Brown added that, should the couple not reconcile, he remains confident that the special someone he was meant to beat to death is still out there for him, and when he finds her, he'll waste no time in slapping her around.

Oh my aching sides.

I am not failing to find the "humor" in this garbage because I don't "get" the joke. I get it. I get the play on "the one that got away" narratives (which, as a not-incidental aside, are themselves frequently markers of unhealthy relationship dynamics). I get that Brown is the intended target because he's a fuckhead abuser. I'm not too unsophisticated to get it, and I don't lack a sense of humor.

I just don't find jokes about beating a black woman to death funny. I don't find jokes about beating anyone to death funny, particularly people from marginalized populations who leave them disproportionately likely to be victimized by violence (and less likely to find justice). I especially don't find funny jokes about a real man and a real woman, the former of whom has actually violently abused the latter.

Cue the accusations of oversensitivity. Bring them on. If not laughing at the image of Rihanna being beaten to death makes me oversensitive, I'll happily wear the label.

It doesn't change the truth. I'm not oversensitive. The Onion isn't sensitive enough.

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Daily Dose of Cute

The Pooch.
Snapped while Dudley was chilling on the ottoman while we were watching an episode of Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. Hence the graphic on the TV behind him.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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Liss and Ana Talk About Elementary

[Content Note: Fat bias; sexual violence. Show spoilers are also lurking herein.]

Ana: So, okay, can we first talk about Dead Man's Switch [the episode two Thursdays ago]? I didn't really like it. Which was a frustrating and conflicting place to be in, because I liked the core story well enough (blackmailer, race against time, etc.) and I liked the character story well enough (anniversary, sobriety chip, etc.) and I liked the feminist details well enough (the dehumanizing and removal of agency involved in rape can happen afterwards too, as seen with the rape tapes being potentially released online). But there were a lot of Fail details that really bothered me.

Liss: Yes. There was a lot of promise in this episode, but I had issues with its execution.

Ana: For one, we have to talk about "Henry 8". If the first thing you think of when you think of "Henry the Eighth" is deathfatz (like Sherlock claims) then jeebus jones, you maybe want to rethink that because (a) fat phobia, and (b) the six wives thing is way more interesting, imho. But I digress. My bigger issue was with the show presenting fat lawsuits as nothing more than get-rich-quick nuisance suits. Whether or not that has ever happened once, it's NOT a common thing and ALSO I think it's grimly ironic that the "payoffs" being sent to Henry 8 just further entrench fat marginalization. In order for his whole scheme to work, he has to live in a world that would RATHER pay off a few vocal critics than make changes to accommodate people. NO acknowledgement was made of that, and in a show that delights in having Sherlock point out social injustice with extreme irony, that was a glaring omission.

Liss: Absolutely. And the entire lawsuit premise was reliant on the conceit that it's absurd for fat people to want sufficient accommodations for their bodies, which itself is predicated on the belief that all fat people could be not-fat if only we tried harder. Particularly given the sensitivity with which the show addresses drug addiction, it was jarringly discordant to see such insensitivity toward fat people, among who are people with disordered eating.

Ana: For two, I was really uncomfortable with the implied storyline that a WHOLE BUNCH of rape victims' families were being successfully blackmailed. I was okay when it was just this one Really Nice Dad (who is also friends with Alfredo, so he must be okay in my book!) but then the plot expanded and there were ALL these videos and, by implication, all these Dads being blackmailed and NOT ONE OF THEM cared so "little" about his daughter's rape to refuse to pay and/or call the police? And I put "little" in scare quotes because there are a lot of legitimate reasons to refuse to pay or be unable to pay blackmailers and/or call the police on them, BUT it is also true that we live in a rape culture where I can guarantee that at least one Dad in that group genuinely wouldn't care because victim-blaming.

Liss: Right. And all fathers; no mothers. Because fathers are tasked with protecting and defending their daughter's sexuality. IIRC, at least one of the dads said he didn't even tell his daughter about the payments, because he didn't want to worry her, which is not compassion but instead denying her agency over how to proceed regarding her own potential exploitation. I feel like we were meant to view that as a supportive gesture, but it felt more like a further victimization to me. Which I acknowledge is a realistic portrayal—there's a lot of secondary trauma that happens in families under the guise of "trying to help"—but the commentary, about how decision-making for victimized daughters without their consent is shitty, wasn't there.

The other thing that bothered me was that the non-supportive father turned out to be the survivors' step-father, the implication being that bio dads are automatically supportive of their survivor daughters. Whooooooooooops nope!

Ana: I told Husband, if they'd just introduced him as a step-father, we'd have known he was guilty. Ugh. It also strikes me that these first two big Fail details are kind of intertwined: The first hinges on the idea that fat people are taken SO seriously that they can marginalize others with nuisance suits at will; the second suggests that rape victims are taken SO seriously that their bio families are all universally protective and supportive. It felt like the writers realized that fat people and rape victims are marginalized and then...failed to understand the nature or extent of marginalization. That was frustrating.

Liss: Yes, exactly. And the narrative that bio parents are always supportive also elides the reality that many people have survived sexual abuse at the hands of biological family members.

Ana: Also, I had feelings about Alfredo pressuring Sherlock regarding his anniversary. I totally agree that the world does not revolve around Sherlock! And that he needs to hear that! On the other hand, though—and I don't know if Alfredo KNOWS this—Sherlock's anniversary coincides pretty closely with the death of Irene, no? So I can imagine that he may legitimately feel like this anniversary isn't something to be celebrated, but mourned. And I can imagine he might be feeling a lot of survivor guilt about moving on and making new friends (Joan and Alfredo). So I wished they'd explored that a little more instead of just calling him out on something that is a little more complicated than Selfish Sherlock. I LOVED all the Joan-conversations about the anniversary though!

Liss: I wasn't keen on the idea, which Alfredo seemed to be positing, that people who have gotten sober have an obligation to inspire and support other people. I think it's AMAZING when sober people do that, but I don't think everyone should feel like they have that responsibility. Self-care should always be the priority in recovery and survival—and, for a lot of people, taking on the mantle of role model is so anxiety-producing that it's a conflict with self-care.

Anyway! Let's move on to last week's episode! It was so good!

Ana: Landmark Story! I loved it! Woohoo! I loved the story itself, so that was awesome. But I also loved all the interactions SO much. I loved that Joan knew he was lying and spoke to him about it privately. I loved that he was going to tell her anyway, and he just underestimated her insight.

Liss: "I was going to tell you!" I love how it seemed really important for him to convey that to her.

Ana: The AUTOPSY! I loved Joan being all "right, because THAT would be crazy!" (if someone broke in and performed an illegal autopsy). I loved her being all UR DOIN IT RONG. I loved when he complimented her and she was all "NO, I am performing an illegal autopsy, I do not have room in my brain for your shit right now so we are not having a 'moment'." (Paraphrase.) That whole scene was AWESOME.

Liss: SO GREAT. It was amazing to see her doing something at which she has a real competency, and see Sherlock watching and studying her. Perfection.

Other things I loved: Vinnie Jones! The quip about how Sherlock is always scowling! F. Murray Abraham! The conversation about how something has changed because he cares about Joan now! All the blubs! I can't even say how much I love the way this show is exploring a platonic, collegiate relationship between a woman and a man. THE BEST.

Ana: The bag was full of legos! The bag was full of legos! THE BAG WAS FULL OF LEGOS.

Liss: THE BAG WAS FULL OF LEGOS.

Discuss.

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Joe Francis Faces Prison Sentence

And really, it's not nearly enough.

[Content Note: Description of assault, kidnapping, threats.]

As you long-time readers know, Joe Francis, douchebag, creator of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos and all-around horrible human being isn't exactly popular around here. He's been in trouble for his, ahem, "antics" in the past, but now it looks like he may finally, finally face some prison time.

According to prosecutors, the 40-year-old creator of “Girls Gone Wild” invited three women to get into his limousine. The women thought they were getting a free ride to a parked car nearby. But Francis took them to his residence.

Once there, he refused to let them leave and “grabbed one of the women by the throat and hair and slammed her head into the tile floor four times,” according to city attorney Carment Trutanich. After the altercation, he escorted the three women out of his house and threatened them, telling the women they should not call the police. They did anyway.

Okay. I'm glad that Francis is facing serious punishment for his assault, but in my opinion, "up to" five years in prison isn't nearly enough time for an assault this violent. Not to mention the fact that Francis should also be facing time for kidnapping, which is never mentioned. He was charged with three counts of false imprisonment. It is important to note the difference.

Kidnapping occurs when a person, without lawful authority, physically moves another person without that other person’s consent, with the intent to use the abduction in connection with some other nefarious objective. Kidnapping may be done for ransom or political purpose or other purposes. Kidnapping can be of first degree or second degree. Kidnapping is a crime which is punishable upon successful prosecution.

False imprisonment, on the other hand, gives rise to a civil claim for damages. False imprisonment means the illegal confinement of one individual without his or her consent by another individual in such a manner as to violate the confined individual’s right to be free from restraint of movement.

Compared with kidnapping, false imprisonment can be a relatively inoffensive, harmless restraint of another person. It is usually a misdemeanor, punishable by no more than an year in jail. An individual whose conduct constitutes the tort of false imprisonment might also be charged with committing the crime of kidnapping, since the same pattern of conduct may provide grounds for both. However, kidnapping may require that other facts be shown, such as the removal of the victim from one place to another.

Which, by the way, is what happened.  It is possible that this was considered false imprisonment, rather than kidnapping, because the victims went with Francis "willingly," though under false pretenses.  Which is pretty fucked up.

"Whether a celebrity or not, you will be held accountable for your misdeeds," said Trutanich, according to the L.A. Weekly. "The victims in this case should be commended for their courage in stepping forward and reporting these attacks, and for not being intimidated from seeing this matter through the justice system." 

These are very brave women. I wish them justice and peace.

[Commenting Guidelines: By way of reminder, jokes and comments regarding harm done to prisoners is not welcome in this space. The culture of violence is not dismantled using violent rhetoric.]

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In The News

[Content note: Kidnapping, terrorism, gun culture, racism, homophobia, death]

Tuesday State of Mind:

Three missing women, apparently kidnapped and held for years as prisoners, have been found alive inside a house in Cleveland. Wow.

Here is a piece on the neighbour who helped rescue the women.

A terror attack in Minnesota was disrupted by federal authorites. Thank goodness.

A vendor at an NRA convention was selling a target that bared a striking resemblance to President Obama.

The death toll from the disastrous building collapse in Bangladesh last month has risen above 700.

Lauryn Hill was sentenced to three months in federal prison for failing to pay taxes.

A company has developed a condom specifically for anal sex. Neat!

Swedish metal act Ghost B.C. are selling a black silicon dildo sculpted to look like their lead singer. Okay, sure. \m/

Neil Clark Warren seems like a total bonerkiller. I would not want him tagging along on a date with me.

A man used cat food to steal computers from his local Wal-Mart. I'm impressed by his ingenuity, honestly.

Eight footballers have revealed to officials that they are gay but afraid to come out for fear of retribution from homophobic fans.

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Elizabeth Smart on the Consequences of Abstinence-Only Sex Ed

[Content Note: Sexual violence; kidnapping; Christian Supremacy.]

Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped and held for nine months as a teenager, has become an advocate against abstinence-only sex education because of the terrible groundwork it can lay for people who go on to survive sexual abuse:

She drew from her own experience while speaking at a recent forum on human trafficking at Johns Hopkins University and said she understood why some kidnapping victims might not run away from their captors after being raped. Smart, 25, said that after her own rape she "felt so dirty and so filthy."

Smart said she grew up in a Mormon family and was taught through abstinence-only education that a person whose virginity was lost before marriage was considered worthless. She spoke to the crowd about a school teacher who urged students against premarital sex and compared women who had sex before their wedding nights to chewing gum.

"I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum. You throw it away.' And that's how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value. Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value."

Devastating.

She is so brave for using the platform she has as the result of a trauma to speak straightforwardly on this issue. And what she's saying resonates deeply with me. In March 2011, I wrote On Surviving and Sex Ed, in which I shared almost precisely the same experience:

One of the most intractable complications of processing for me, after surviving sexual trauma as a teenager, was my Christian upbringing—a tradition on which a huge premium is placed on purity. (I don't mean to suggest this is true in all Christian traditions, but it was in the one in which I was raised.) I was quite explicitly expected to be a virgin bride.

My mother had been a virgin bride. My father had been a virgin groom. They expected their daughters to be virgins when we married, and we were expected to marry. It wasn't just from my parents that I learned of this expectation: In Sunday school, in confirmation class, in sermons—everyone from my ministers to my peers to Martin Luther himself admonished me to fiercely protect my virginity until I gifted it to my husband on my wedding night.

I was assumed to be straight and exhorted to get married and expected to be a virgin when I did.

I frankly wasn't even sure that I wanted to get married when I was raped at 16, but, after I was, I was sure that I wasn't going to be a virgin bride.

I had deeply internalized the Christian narratives about premarital sex sullying my very soul, and such was the lack of discussion surrounding consent in my young life that the idea nonconsensual sex might not "count" to whatever galactic referee was keeping score of such things never even crossed my mind.

I had also deeply internalized the cultural stereotypes of raped women being irreparably broken, women with broken minds and broken bodies.

Regarding myself as damaged goods, in both spirit and flesh, I figured it didn't matter if I engaged in sexual activity henceforth. And, beyond that grim calculation, that horrible, sad, shrugging relinquishment of my decision-making regarding sex because the decision had been made for me, was something yet worse: I didn't feel like I had any value anymore.

I'd spent my life learning that my worth as a female person was attached to my virginity.

My value as an unsullied cunt was gone.

Abstinence-only sex ed is garbage. Dangerous, ineffective, demeaning garbage. I desperately hope its purveyors will hear what Elizabeth Smart, and every woman who is a member of this grim sisterhood, has to say about its consequences for survivors.

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Chris Christie's "Secret" Weight Loss Surgery

[Content Note: Fat bias; body modification for weight loss; body policing; hostility to agency.]

So, Republican New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is a fat man, had weight loss surgery. We're not going to debate the value and safety of that choice here. The only reason I'm even mentioning it at all is because I have read several headlines about it already this morning describing it as a "secret" surgery, e.g. the AP: "NJ gov. had secret weight loss surgery."

Secret.

Because fat people's health is public property.

This is the result of policing fat people's bodies constantly. Of policing fat people's bodies being acceptable. Of policing fat people's bodies being considered a moral imperative, by friends and family, by insurance companies, by the First Lady of the United States.

Our bodies are not our own, because we are presumed to govern them poorly. We are obliged to publicly justify the care of our bodies.

Thus, our healthcare decisions aren't private. They're "secret."

How dare we make private healthcare decisions about our own bodies without public disclosure, so that all the thin experts on our lived experiences can audit our personal choices. The nerve. Acting in "secret" like that.

"Secret" weight loss surgery. Like "secret" abortions and "secret" gender reassignment surgery. Bodies we publicly police. If you have a transgressive body, you are not entitled to privacy.

Your body isn't your own.

That's the message.

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Gross

[Content Note: Guns.]

The first working gun successfully made with a 3-D printer was fired in Texas over the weekend.

Defense Distributed, an Austin, Texas-based company led by 24-year-old law student Cody Wilson and several others that market 3D printed firearms and firearm components, or "Wiki Weapons," on Thursday posted a new video online showing a plastic gun being fired. A blueprint file is expected to be available for download today.

"I recognize that this tool might be used to harm people," Wilson said, according to Fox News. "That's what it is -- it's a gun. But I don't think that's a reason to not put it out there. I think that liberty in the end is a better interest."

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) called the development "stomach-turning" on Sunday, according to CNYcentral, saying it means anyone "can open a gun factory in their garage."

Terrific. The gun is called "The Liberator," obviously. Because all the privileged people who have access to 3-D printers are super fucking oppressed and shit.

If there is a better indicator of undiluted privilege than a casual shrug at prioritizing your liberty over other people's safety—and failing to understand, or care, that undermining other people's safety is denying their liberty—I don't know what it is.

Indifference to harm isn't the habit of liberators; it's the habit of oppressors.

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Open Thread

Hosted by BFFs Owen and Mzee.

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Question of the Day

What is the best new song you've heard recently? Could be a new release, or just new to you.

I'm guessing you all know what my answer is, but HERE IT IS AGAIN ANYWAY BECAUSE OMG THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING.

[Lyrics here.]

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Tom Hardy and a Puppy Visit Mosi-oa-Tunya / Victoria Falls

"Tom," said the puppy, licking Tom's chin, "do you think there's a singular meaning of life for people and puppies?" And Tom said, "I don't know, puppy. It seems to me that there are maybe as many meanings of life as there are people and puppies who live it. What do you think?" And the puppy said, "I don't think there's any singular meaning, either. I'm not even convinced that each life has a unifying meaning of its own. It seems to me that things don't happen for a reason, but that we're capable of retroactively giving meaning to the things that happen to us—especially the terrible things other people do, which are hard to process as meaningless acts, and joyful things, which are so deeply wonderful that it's almost terrifying to imagine they may not have happened but for chance." And Tom said, "I think you're right, puppy." And the puppy nuzzled his nose into the hollow of Tom's shoulder, and Tom gave the puppy a squeeze, as they both quietly marveled at their good fortune to be friends.

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I Don't Fu¢king Even

[Content Note: Sexual assault.]

Air Force sex assault prevention chief charged in sex assault:

The chief of the Air Force's sexual assault prevention and response branch was arrested this weekend and charged with sexual battery.

Lt. Col. Jeffrey Krusinski, 41, of Arlington, Va., was arrested Sunday morning, according to the Arlington police. He's accused of approaching a woman in a parking lot and grabbing her breasts and buttocks, according to the crime report.

Krusinski heads up the Air Force's sexual assault prevention and response branch, an Air Force spokeswoman confirmed.

... The Air Force has recently come under fire for a decision by a lieutenant general to throw out the sexual assault conviction of fighter pilot Lt. Col. James Wilkerson. Wilkerson, 44, the former inspector general for the 31st Fighter Wing at Aviano Air Base in Italy, was convicted last year of aggravated sexual assault and sentenced to a year in jail, forfeiture of pay and dismissal from the Air Force. Lt. Gen. Craig Franklin overturned the sentence and reinstated Wilkerson into the Air Force.

Additionally, more than a dozen training instructors at Joint Base San Antonio-Lackland, the Air Force's basic training facility, have been convicted of misconduct with trainees, from fraternization to sexual assault. More cases are still under investigation.

Which naturally does not even begin to address the number of cases which have gone unreported, for reasons including the person to whom you are meant to report is known to be a sexual predator.

One of the consequences of not taking allegations seriously is that men who have a well-known (among female recruits and/or servicemembers) reputation as a victimizer are installed in positions like this one. That may or may not have been the case with Krusinski specifically; I don't know. But any organization who wants to take sexual violence seriously has got to do a comprehensive vetting job on its gatekeepers, especially its male gatekeepers, including and especially the unofficial reports that circulate among women.

Because sexual violence remains a hugely underreported spectrum of crimes, reputation among the population to whom one is meant to act in service is a crucial piece of responsible vetting.

[H/T to Cat Neshine.]

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This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Content Note: Hostility for agency; injury/death; guns.]

Kirsten Powers at The Daily Beast: Abortion Rights Community Has Become the NRA of the Left.

Actual subhead: "The abortion clinic of alleged killer Kermit Gosnell was not illegal. But any talk of more government regulation unleashes an NRA-style assault from the abortion rights contingent, says Kirsten Powers."

Wow.

So, pretty much every single thing about this article is garbage, and I will leave it to you to parse every bit of gruesome fail in comments, but I do want to highlight this bit:

Even liberal Europe gets this. In France, Germany, Italy, and Norway, abortion is illegal after 12 weeks. In addition to the life-of-mother exception, they provide narrow health exceptions that require approval from multiple doctors or in some cases going before a board. In the U.S., if you suggest such stringent regulation and oversight of later-term abortions, you are tarred within seconds by the abortion rights movement as a misogynist who doesn't "trust women."

I can only speak for myself, a certified steampunk abortion robot, but the primary reason I absolutely and unequivocally do not support criminalizing abortion after 12 weeks in the US is because the US does not have universal healthcare (which France, Germany, Italy, and Norway do) and has large abortion deserts across which millions of US residents must travel to access an abortion provider (which France, Germany, Italy, and Norway do not).

These two factors (among others) conspire to create a situation for many abortion-seeking people in which they can't access an abortion provider until past the 12-week mark. Criminalizing abortion after 12 weeks means the women and other people with uteri who most can't afford pregnancy care, childbirth, and/or parenting are the ones least likely to be able to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.

And, personally, I don't think a failure to comprehend that fairly simple fact is the result of being a misogynist. It's the result of being a privileged dipshit.

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What I Did on My Vacation: Got My First Tattoo!

And, despite my promise, it was not actually getting "I'm not offended; I'm contemptuous" tattooed across my forehead. Instead, it was a Virginia Woolf quote accompanied by an abstract design referencing spilled ink and watercolor paint, wrapping around my arm to curve in parallel to a scar left in my childhood by an angry cat.

Last year, we had a silly thread in which I invited everyone to tell Deeks and me what tattoos we should get, and, in comments, I linked to the watercolor work of a local tattoo artist with the comment: "There's a decent chance I will just show up one day and tell him to have at it, lol." And that's pretty much what I did.

I designed the basic concept of the curving text and black line sweeping up and around to end parallel to my scar, and then told him to have at it with references to spilled ink and watercolor paint-strokes. I wanted it to be messy and grungy and lovely and fluid, and he executed my concept perfectly. He really listened to me, and I really trusted him, and it is exactly what I wanted—something no one else has but me. He said it was his favorite watercolor tattoo yet that he's done, and everyone in the shop admired it when they saw the finished work, even though it's definitely a love-it or hate-it kind of piece.

Anyway. The quote itself I chose both for its sentiment and its rhythm: The phrase is coincidentally in iambic pentameter, which is a rhythm that really appeals to me. Woolf was such a lyrical writer and speaker, and I love the sound of this line as much as its meaning.

Arrange whatever pieces come your way. We can't always control what pieces come our way. And fuck the passive acceptance of fortunes preached by the privileged. I will arrange the pieces. Some of them I will let go, some of them I will hold onto dearly, some of them I will wrestle, and some of them I will arrange with retroactive meaning, in order that I may survive.

[Related Reading: Me and My Teaspoon, Feminist/Womanist Tattoos, Texting! With Liss and Deeky!]

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In The News

[Content note: Homophobia, racism, gun culture, torture, violence]

All kinds of things happened last week:

Los Angeles Times will stop using the terms illegal immigrant and undocumented immigrant. Good.

Three additional suspects were arrested in the Boston Marathon bombings investigation. Good.

Mitt Romney wants you to blow your load quiverfully. Neat.

VEEP and House of Cards are helping Baltimore's economy. Thanks, TV shows!

Some cool country music stars are supporting Illinois' marriage equality measure. Neat!

This is just heartbreaking: Three teens were killed at a gay conversion camp in South Africa.

An Oregon school conducted a live-fire test for some reason.

It's all the other details that really make this story.

Jim Porter, who calls the Civil War the war of Northern Aggression has been named the new President of the NRA. Just a really great org, they are!

Jim Inhofe thinks the federal government has hoarded all the ammunition. Seems legit.

A man impersonating Pink Floyd's David Gilmour racked up a $100,000 medical bill. Okay then.

The Whitehouse has disallowed staff from using Bitcoins. Sad face.

Gay marriage is now legal in Rhode Island. Yay!

Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly, of the hip hop act Kriss Kross, died in his Atlanta home last week. He was 34.

Die Hard 6 is being made because I guess Bruce Willis hasn't punched enough stuff yet.

Amanda Palmer wants to help Morrissey crowdsource his next album. Obviously.

One Direction are in talks to do a Christmas special. Something to look forward to!

Do you need a pirate ship? You need a pirate ship.

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Assvertising

[Content Note: Misogyny.]

I just had to run out to the drugstore, and, on the way home, I heard an advert on the radio from the Florida Tourism Board that was a dude telling a story about how all the lessons his dad taught him about fishing while vacationing in Florida were the same lessons his dad taught him about women.

Now, I haven't been fishing a lot in my life, but, on the occasions I have, there was nothing done to a fish that I would want done to me. And I'm pretty sure I was doing it right.

Cool commercial, Florida.

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Daily Dose of Cute

Zelda and Sophie keep an eye on things.
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Nasa: "Shah Shah"

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Cardinal Dolan's Dirty Mind

[Content note: homophobia, religious bullying and rejection. This post is written from an explicitly Christian perspective.]

On Sunday, at the episcopal seat of Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York, 10 Catholic LGBT* folk and their allies were barred, on threat of arrest by the NYPD, from entering St. Patrick's Cathedral and joining their fellow Catholics at Mass.

Their crime? Entering with ash-covered hands, a silent protest against Cardinal Dolan's April 25 blog post that demanded queer Catholics (who were compared to lapsed alcoholics and exploitative employers) must "wash their hands" before they sit at the table of their Lord.

Turns out, the Archbishop wasn't being metaphorical:

"I have never been denied a seat at Christ’s table. In fact, today marks the first day that I have ever felt disowned, abandoned, and lost,” Joseph Amodeo, organizer of the action, writes at the Huffington Post. He adds that “the ten of us [who] gathered were greeted by four police cars, eight uniformed officers, a police captain, and a detective from the Police Commissioner’s LGBT liaison unit. The detective informed us that the Cathedral would prohibit us to enter because of our dirty hands.”

"As we reached St. Patrick’s Cathedral, we were approached by Kevin Donohue, who identified himself as being in charge of operations for the cathedral. Sadly, Mr. Donohue’s tone was both cold and scolding. What astounded me most was when he said that we could enter the cathedral so long as we washed our hands first. Even now, writing those words I find myself struggling to understand their meaning, while coming to terms with their exclusionary nature.

"It was at this moment that Mr. Donohue advised us that if we entered St. Patrick’s Cathedral with dirty hands, we would be arrested and charged with criminal trespassing. Upon hearing those words, I remember standing there thinking, “How can I charged with criminal trespassing in my own home?” It was then that I realized what it meant to be spiritually homeless."

It was then that I realized what it meant to be spiritually homeless.

Homeless, because they refuse to accept the Cardinal's assertion that same-sex relationships are comparable to having dirty hands at the family dinner table.

Rejected from the table of Jesus of Nazareth, defender of those considered ritually unclean by much of society.

And not only rejected, but scolded and threatened with arrest by the secular power.

And for what? For disagreeing about being labeled "dirty."

I have quite literally been crying as I write this, because I can't help but feel empathy for Amodeo, for all the "spiritually homeless," locked out in the cold when they seek spiritual fellowship and solace. I am depressed at the hubris of Dolan and men like him, who dare to claim the authority of Jesus, yet forget his most basic lessons.

(Hint #1: it wasn't the poor and outcasts that made Jesus angry when he found them in the Temple.)

It goes without saying that I disagree with Dolan too. We have nothing to fear from love.

But even if I shared his opinion, I'd like to think that wouldn't make me literally bar the door. I personally couldn't ignore the words of worshipers at Mass: "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you; but only say the word and I shall be healed." It's not humanity's call, but God's. By barring the door based on a sincere and prayerful difference of opinion, Cardinal Dolan is effectively denying the ability of God to make communicants worthy, no matter what their sins may or may not be. Yes, it's true that he has the authority to do this in canon law. But should he?

Well, since God, not Timothy Dolan, is supposed to be the omniscient one, I don't think so. It sounds rather like the sin of Pride to me, saying "THIS shall be barred, but not THAT." Sinful pride is the arrogant hubris that grinds down the powerless in order to shore up one's own self-image and authority. You are picking on the gay folk you consider sinful, Cardinal Dolan, singling them out in a way that you don't single out, say, uncharitable rich people, whom you also criticize. I think your rules are wrong, but even by your own rules, that makes you a bully. A loud, prideful, bully.

And there are victims: those people barred at the door, out in the street, spiritually homeless. The problem isn't the protestors' hands. It's Cardinal Dolan's dirty mind. For it takes a prideful, sooty, dirty mind to not only blatantly turn away from the example of Jesus, but to do it in Jesus' very name.

(Hint #2: it wasn't Jesus who used secular power against those who disagreed with him.)

Clean up your mind, Cardinal Dolan, and open your heart. You might start to see people's hands very differently.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by robins.

Recommended Reading:

Two new entries in the Naming and Identity Series: Robyn and Marna.

[Content Note: Diet talk.] Today is International No Diet Day (meaning diet for weight loss, not diets for food allergies, illness, etc.) and the Adipositivity Project has a beautiful image (though NSFW) in celebration.

Jamilah: An Open Letter from Assata Shakur: 'I Am Only One Woman' [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of violence, racism, misogyny, and classism.]

Jess: On Griner and Collins. Also: Before Jason Collins, There Was Robbie Rogers, Sort Of.

Tressie: Social Legitimacy and The University of Westfield Online

Fannie: Welp, Time to Close Up Shop [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of antifeminism.]

Angus: Niall Ferguson Didn't Even Get Keynes' Sex Life Right [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of sexuality and reproductive policing.]

I am totally obsessed with the new song "Q.U.E.E.N." (and its video, posted below) by Janelle Monae and Erykah Badu. Trudy has two great posts on the track that you should definitely read: Part One and Part Two.

[Lyrics here.]
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