[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Many thanks to Imani (follow @AngryBlackLady) for inspiring the name of this week's pub!
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Many thanks to Imani (follow @AngryBlackLady) for inspiring the name of this week's pub!
Photos of the Day
United States President Barack Obama uses a magnifying glass to play a game with children in a pre-kindergarten classroom at College Heights early childhood learning center in Decatur February 14, 2013. Obama flew to Georgia to push his plan to ensure high-quality preschool, unveiled during his State of the Union address this week. [REUTERS/Jason Reed]
Obama high-fives children in a pre-kindergarten classroom. [REUTERS/Jason Reed]LOVE.
[Aside: Jason Reed—still my favorite news photographer. Love that guy!]
Bi-Monthly Fundraising Reminder & Thank-You
This is, for those who have requested it, your bi-monthly reminder to donate to Shakesville and/or to make sure to renew subscriptions that have lapsed.
It is also an important fundraiser to keep Shakesville going.
Running this strictly-moderated and independent space on donations rather than content-generated advertising, which is incompatible with safe spaces, means that my ability to keep it going depends on your support.
I cannot afford to do this full-time for free, but, even if I could, fundraising is also one of the most feminist acts I do here. I ask to be paid for my work because progressive feminist advocacy has value.
Women's service work, whether it's mothering, elder care, volunteering, philanthropy, social work, employment in any "pink collar" profession, or social advocacy, is gravely devalued, frequently to the point where it is unpaid work altogether. So, even though fundraising is not fun for me, not doing it is counterproductive to the work we do here every day. It's antifeminist.
This blog started as a hobby, a part-time interest into which I could put as much or as little time as I wanted. It's not a hobby anymore; it's a job. And regarding it thus is a feminist act.
You can donate once by clicking the "Make a Donation" button in the righthand sidebar, or set up a monthly subscription using the "Subscribe" button just below it, which has a dropdown menu of subscription options—or visit the Donation page, for even more options.
If you value the content and/or community in this space, can afford it, and want to see Shakesville continue to be managed as a safe space, please consider setting up a subscription or making a one-time contribution.
If you have recently appreciated getting distilled news about politics, reproductive rights, and other news items; participating in the open thread during the State of the Union; the Fatsronauts 101 series; being able to discuss aspects of the rape culture in a space interested in dismantling that culture; finding out where to direct your teaspoon in support of social justice or in opposition to inequality, I hope you will, if you are able, contribute to support this space and make sure it continues to flourish.
I hope you will also consider the value of whatever else you appreciate at Shakesville, whether it's the moderation, video transcripts, Film Corner, the community in Open Threads, the blogarounds, Butch Pornstache, the Daily Dose of Cute, your blogmistress' penchant for inventing new words, or anything else you enjoy.
I also want say thank you, so very much, to each of you who donates or has donated, whether monthly or as a one-off. I am profoundly grateful—and I don't take a single cent for granted. I've not the words to express the depth of my appreciation, besides these: This community couldn't exist without that support, truly. Thank you.
My boundless appreciation as well to everyone who contributes to the space in other ways: Thank you to our regular contributors, our moderators, our guest contributors, to anyone who has provided a transcription, to those who have linked to, quoted, Tweeted about, and otherwise supportively recommended this blog, and/or to the people who have taken the time to send me the occasional note of support and encouragement. This community couldn't exist without you, either.
[Please Note: I am not seeking suggestions on how to raise revenue; I am asking for donations in exchange for the work of providing valued content in as safe and accessible a space as possible. I also want to reiterate that I don't want anyone to feel obliged to contribute financially, especially if money is tight. Aside from valuing feminist work, the other goal of fundraising is so Iain and I don't have to struggle on behalf of the blog, and I don't want anyone else to struggle themselves in exchange. There is a big enough readership that neither should have to happen.]
Quote of the Day
[Content Note: Gun violence.]
"The alleged murder is disputed in the strongest terms."—A statement issued by Oscar Pistorius' family and his London management company, after Pistorius was charged with murdering Reeva Steenkamp, who was dating Pistorius.
The statement also said Pistorius "send[s] his deepest sympathies to the family of Reeva."
I'm sure that makes them feel loads better.
Meanwhile, Sports Illustrated has an interview with David Epstein, a senior writer at the magazine who has covered Pistorius for years, which is being run under the incredible headline: "Pistorius' once-heartening tale now interlaced with murder, violence." It is accompanied by an image of Pistorius on the track, with his hands in a prayer position, and the image is labeled: "Oscar Pistorius has mentioned how sometimes he feels at risk in South Africa, and it's not uncommon for individuals to own firearms."
I don't even have the words to effectively convey the profundity of my contempt for the focus on how "at risk" Pistorius felt given the incontrovertible evidence that he posed an actual risk to Reeva Steenkamp, which is true irrespective of whether it was an accident or a premeditated murder.
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by scribbles.
Recommended Reading:
Jamilah: Obama's Chicago Guns Speech and the Value of Black and Latino Lives [Content Note: Gun violence.]
Maggie Jo: Texas Parental Control Accountability Act
Ragen: Fat Prisoners of War [Content Note: Fat bias.]
Chloe: What Matters [Content Note: Domestic violence.]
FMF News: Royal Canadian Mounted Police Under Scrutiny for Abuse of Aboriginal Women
L.Y. Marlow: To Anyone Voting Against the Violence Against Women Act [Content Note: Descriptions of violence.]
Andy: Military Approves First Burial of Gay Spouse in a National Cemetery
Sikivu: South L.A. Teacher Activists
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Daily Dose of Cute
Zelda, in one of her favorite spots, snuggled up beside me, her head on my knee.
Beside Zelly is, in case it wasn't evident, one of my favorite spots in the whole world, too.
The Parks and Rec Open Thread
"Stuff lasts forever!"
(Spoilers are searching for chairs herein. Content Note: Fat bias.)
All right, let's just get right to the sad part: Once again, this episode was peppered with fat hatred. There was the return of Paunch Burger, of course, and there was a terrible moment in which Leslie told Tom she was happy he'd thought to ask Paunch Burger's competitors to cater the fundraising gala because "all of our more ample citizens" love fast food. Again, I would like to note that it's especially rich to have a character who eats waffles like they're going out of style make comments about how only fat people like fast food. And then there was the fat French chef, because of course all chefs are fat, and Jerry not even being able to run without falling, because of course all fat people are uncoordinated. COME ON, PARKS AND RECREATION, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.
It's particularly disappointing that a show with two major supporting characters who are fat—and not "Hollywood fat," but actually fat—insists on making jokes at fat people's expense.
Let us hope now that the Paunch Burger vs. Park battle has been won, the writers will move the fuck on from this shit. Because it soured what was otherwise a very fun episode that ended with a great cliffhanger.
The good stuff:
"Let the record show there was a standing ovation." "No, there wasn't." "History will decide." "I don’t have time for food puns right now." "First we do the written exam, and then we do the personality evaluation. Which I feel like I'm gonna nail, 'cuz people always say, 'Buuut, he's got a great personality.'" "Wait, maybe this is a nightmare! …Nope, can't fly away. This is real life." "Get some chairs from somewhere." "Great leadership. Inspiring." "I can speak in full sentences and I won't cry." "A few months ago, the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening towards bummerville. But now, I am infected will a killer virus—and I feel fine. [thumbs up] Therapy!" "What's wrong with Joan?" "She has a bad hangover, which she is pretending is allergies." "It is with a heavy heart that I say: We have been Jammed." "Oh no! Pawnee has been hit with…a TORNADOQUAKE!" "Oh, well, jokes on you—I don't have anyone I care about!" "This was bad. Fort Wayne bad." "Ghost-Jammed!" "He's certainly something of a genius. We could use his brains on the force." "I'd like to thank my community, my friends. It's a lesson that I have learned over and over again, but it bears repeating: No one achieves anything alone."Discuss!
In The News
Deeky is off today, so you're stuck with me again.
[Content Note: Injury; violence; guns.]
A meteor strike has injured hundreds of people in Russia. Luckily, most of the injuries are minor and it appears that no one was killed. But HOLY SHIT!
The LAPD says they have positively identified the remains in a burned cabin as the body of Christopher Dorner, accused of killing four people.
Chicago Mayor and grand triangulator Rahm Emanuel is reportedly "toying with" a 2016 presidential run. No thank you!
Two fifth-grade boys were planning to kill a female classmate with a semi-automatic gun because she was "rude and annoying." Fortunately, another classmate reported their plan to a school employee. America!
Julian Assange has filed paperwork to run for office in Australia, because of course he has.
John McCain is still a jackass.
Indiana school district will not discipline a vile homophobic teacher. Ugh, this state sometimes. I swear.
To the fainting couch: Republicans are in bed with corporations. I mean, this is a big deal, even though it's totally unsurprising.
And check out Caffrey the Amazing Cat who gets around on two legs because he is made of awesome!
Petition Update
The petition asking the Obama administration to stop using the "wives, mothers, & daughters" rhetorical frame that defines women by our relationships to other people is now at 2,200+ signatures and counting. Keep up the teaspooning!
Yesterday, Shaker catvoncat noted in comments:
So apparently you can go [here] to share your response to the SOTU speech by highlighting a passage and commenting on it. This might be another way to get our voices heard on this issue, for those who are interested.catvoncat shared her response, which is limited to 400 characters, here.
This was my submission, which you are welcome to borrow in part or in whole, if it's helpful:
Central to anti-violence advocacy is regarding women as autonomous beings, a concept which is undermined by reductively defining women by our relationships to other people. By referring to "our" wives et al, the President appears to be talking to men *about* women, rather than talking to men *and* women. I am part of the union, too. Why not, simply: "We know our economy is stronger when women..."
Teaspoons ahoy!
Today in Rape Culture
[Content Note: Sexual violence.]
Yesterday, Aunt B and Melissa Martin sent me the link to this piece by Frank Seravalli about professional hockey player Nick Cousins, "a talented but mouthy diva with a soiled off-ice history." Midway through the story comes this bit, about rape allegations made about Cousins and two teammates in August of last year:
Many wondered whether Cousins was snubbed from the Super Series and Team Canada for his alleged off-ice transgressions. Cousins and two teammates were arrested on Aug. 25 for having sexual intercourse with an unnamed woman, known to the players, against her will. Prosecutors have not dropped the charges, which are still pending in court. Cousins attended counseling before being reinstated by the Greyhounds.So, to summarize: Cousins, who allegedly gang-raped an acquaintance, has "a good heart," but just needs to grow up and be more careful, and hopefully all these zany rape allegations will all just "go away" so Cousins can get back to the serious business of being good at sports.
The embarrassing situation gave Cousins, the Greyhounds and the Flyers a collective black eye. It's an image that he's still trying to shed.
"At the pro level, teams expect you to be an adult and act like one," [Philadelphia Flyers director of development Ian Laperriere] said. "He's got a good heart ... Let's be honest, stuff like that has been happening forever. You can't get away with anything now. He can't put himself in those situations.
"He's been in trouble with this stuff, but hopefully that's all going to go away. Part of my job is telling him that he needs to learn from that. You need to be careful what you're doing. All of our prospects need to learn from his situation."
I'm not sure what I find more contemptible: Laperriere's apologia for a player accused of rape, a crime which he dismisses with "stuff like that has been happening forever," and about which he seems more concerned that Cousins got caught, or Seravelli's description of the assault as "sexual intercourse with an unnamed woman, known to the players, against her will," which prioritizes the implicit rape apologia of "hey, she knew these guys, okay?" over the fact that the "sexual intercourse" was nonconsensual.
Boys will be boys, and girls will be lying bitches who will make trouble for boys with good hearts.
The whole story is about how Laperriere and Cousins' OHL Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds coach Sheldon Keefe are trying to get Cousins under control and perform like the win-machine they know he can be. Cousins, you see, has "plenty of potential but a poor reputation."
And the story in its whole is a fucked-up juxtaposition of Laperriere's apologia for Cousins' alleged crime of forcing a woman to do with her body what she was resisting and Laperriere's strategy to force Cousins to use his body to do what he is resisting, which is become a disciplined player. I'm not drawing an equivalence between being raped and being professionally challenged; those things are not remotely the same. I am, however, struck by the fact that Laperriere's indifference toward Cousins having used a woman's body for his own purposes (rape) abets Laperriere's continued access to Cousins' body for his purposes (winning). Call it trickle-down exploitation.
Throughout the story, there's all this expressed hope that Cousins will mature and "learn from his mistakes," but rape is about dehumanization, and Laperriere's indifference to Cousins' character, as long as he can perform, is dehumanizing to both Cousins and his victim. How does Laperriere hope to impart the message to Cousins that exploitation is wrong when he's simultaneously shrugging off Cousins' exploitation of women and exploiting Cousins for his hockey prowess without regard for the humanity behind it?
Naturally, he doesn't. He just doesn't want Cousins to get caught.
Rapists are accountable for rape. No caveats, no qualifiers. The only person responsible for a rape is the rapist.
Rape does not, however, happen in a void. It happens in a culture that tolerates rape and apologizes for rapists, especially if they are men whose bodies need to be used by other men to make lots of money. That seems like something we need to talk about, too.
This morning, Spudsy texted me (with I am sharing with his permission): "Mike Tyson is on WGN morning news and they're treating him like a fucking hero. Does no one remember he's a fucking rapist?"
Well. I'm sure he has a good heart.
[My thanks to Aunt B for sharing her thoughts about "the part where what matters is that Laperriere wants Cousins' body for his own end. It's apparently not important that Cousins may not be safe for his community. If Laperriere wants him, all other considerations" are irrelevant.]
Language Matters: Oscar Pistorius Coverage Edition
[Content Note: Domestic violence; guns.]
Yesterday, in the thread about Oscar Pistorius having allegedly murdered Reeva Steenkamp, Shaker ellen made this excellent observation about coverage of the crime, which I am sharing on the main page with her permission:
I'm very troubled by what's happening with the word "domestic" in these reports. The police said that there had been "allegations of a domestic nature." No. "Domesticity" means eating meals, doing dishes, taking out the trash; baking cookies, hanging curtains, walking the dog. Assault, aggression, terror, and murder are not part of what "domestic" means. Saying that there had been previous allegations "of a domestic nature" is asking us to expand our definition of "domestic" to include repeated violent assault.Being precise about what really happened in this case will be increasingly important, as Pistorius has been formally charged with murdering Reeva Steenkamp, and prosecutors believe it was premeditated murder. Steenkamp was reportedly found behind a bathroom door and police had been "called to the house two hours before the shooting after neighbors complained of a loud argument."
In an effort to pretty up reality, the police have edited the word "violence" out of the phrase "domestic violence," expecting us to understand that when they say "domestic," they mean "domestic violence." They're asking us to agree that being threatened and assaulted are just another element of being domestic. When police and media speak this way, they help the physical violence to make wide ripples of linguistic and cognitive violence.
Relatedly, I had this exchange on Twitter yesterday afternoon:
@mcmorag Indeed. In my post, I consciously named her & did not define her as his g/f, but as "Reeva Steenkamp, who was dating Pistorius."
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) February 14, 2013
Oscar Pistorius killed his girlfriend in a domestic dispute.
Oscar Pistorius murdered Reeva Steenkamp, who was dating Pistorius, in an act of domestic violence.
Same information. One doesn't seek to mitigate the heinous nature of the crime, nor disappears the victim, nor treats Steenkamp like Pistorius' property, nor regards, in ellen's words, "being threatened and assaulted [as] just another element of being domestic."
Question of the Day
What is the worst thing (intended for human consumption as a foodstuff) you've ever tasted?
The Latest on Hagel
Ed Kilgore at Washington Monthly:
The situation with the Hagel nomination is pretty murky at the moment. A filibuster is underway, and Harry Reid has (a) scheduled a cloture vote for tomorrow morning and (b) admitted he doesn't have the 60 votes for cloture just yet. A lot of what happens seems to be in the hands of John McCain, who has flip-flopped on the appropriateness of a filibuster a couple of times in the last couple of days. The last indication was that he was "satisfied" with the Benghazi information the White House had supplied (his little friend Lindsey Graham's little red wagon) but was still working on Ted Cruz's demands for more info on Hagel's speech income.By way of reminder, Chuck Hagel is a Republican.
...I don't know how this will turn out, but I'm with Greg Sargent: if these bozos go where they seem to be headed, it is time for Harry Reid to revive the specter of actual filibuster reform, not the token measures taken in his agreement with Mitch McConnell. Some think Reid foreclosed the "constitutional option" for unilateral filibuster reform agreement until next year or perhaps 2015. But he needs to pick up the threat for real, shake it at Senate Republicans, and mean it.
Steve Kornacki notes that filibustering a cabinet nominee (no less one of one's own party) is extremely rare: "Hagel is on course to be the first Pentagon nominee and only the third Cabinet nominee ever to face a 60-vote requirement for confirmation. But even that understates it, because the other two—C. William Verity and Dirk Kempthorne—weren't up against serious filibusters." They were, instead, largely symbolic, and both men were confirmed.
The Republicans are no longer a serious party interested in doing the serious business of running this nation. They're a bunch of self-interested dipshits who can't be relied upon for anything but pointless obstructionism.
Don't get me wrong: There are legitimate reasons to object to Hagel's nomination. It's just that the GOP isn't interested in any of them.
UPDATE: Care of Shaker NineOfCups, in comments—Hayes Brown at Think Progress: Senate Republicans Make History, First To Filibuster Defense Secretary Nominee. Welp.
Getting Real
[Content Note: Bullying.]
I've been thinking about the "real life vs. internet life" article about which I wrote yesterday, which was chiefly about dating but included general commentary underwriting narratives about how online relationships are inherently inferior to those formed in meatspace. It's a trope with which I am obliged to frequently engage, as it's deployed with regularity by apologists for Bad Behavior, particularly the harassment of social justice advocates, who are keen to educate me that It's the Internet and demand to know what do I expect. (Spoiler Alert: More!)
It's a problematic construction for a few reasons, not least of which, as I have observed previously, is that the internet is not separate from culture, but a reflection of culture. It takes a special sort of cultivated ignorance to imagine that the anonymity of the internet creates the urges that underlie bullying, rather than merely empowering bullies to be uglier, meaner, bolder than some of them would be face-to-face.
It's not like no random dude ever called me a fat cunt before I started a blog.
The distinction between "real life" and "internet life" is a false one. Communities on the internet, and relationships formed on the internet, are as real as those in meatspace, even if they are different.
And sometimes those differences are neutral. Sometimes they expose deficiencies, or benefits, in either in-person relationships or (primarily or exclusively) online relationships. Often, they create matched sets: Written communication lacks the nuance that in-person communication does; in-person communication does not engage the additional filter that written communication can. Or: There are indeed ways to deceive people on the internet that in-person interactions do not support; online communications protect against certain kinds of harm that interpersonal interactions do not. Et cetera.
Each has its own limitations and values, which themselves are entirely subjective based on the individual person(s) involved. While body language and facial expressions may be meaningful to me, they may not be of particular use to someone neuro-atypical who struggles to correctly interpret them.
For me, one of the most precious advantages of the internet is that it keeps me connected. I don't mean the ability to keep up with the goings-on of old friends and distant relations—although that, too. I mean that it keeps me from disappearing.
I disappear easily, vanishing from social interaction like a retreating turtle into its shell—long stretches of desired lonesomeness during which I am perfectly content to be my only company. It's not because I love my friends any less, or because I'm depressed, or for any Important Reason at all, except that I am who I am, and that is someone who is very shy.
I am a "learned extrovert," as Molly Shannon's character described herself on the last (brilliant) episode of Enlightened, but the first 13 years of my life, I was so painfully shy that I never laughed out loud at school, ever, which is difficult for friends made after that time to believe, because I laugh loudly and easily and often now. I still remember the first time I tried an out-loud laugh, hesitatingly and consciously, in Mr. Martz's social studies class, and Garth Miller looked at me from the next desk over with an expression one usually reserves for events like alien invasions and said, "I've never heard you laugh before!" Bless him, I had such a crush on him, and if he'd said it with less wonder and more judgment, I might never have laughed out loud again.
That is who I am, in the deepest roots of myself, the girl who had to summon the gumption to laugh out loud in class. And that is why it's so easy and so comfortable for me to disappear.
And disappearing, as I have a wont to do, was different before the internet. It read, quite understandably, like avoidance, when I stopped inviting people to socialize and picking up the phone. Even during a disappearance, I might still accept invitations and answer the phone to chat, but I stop reaching out. All of my limbs and my head and my tiny little triangular turtle tail get tucked inside the shell. And it isn't kind to be a friend who disappears without explanation, so I explain, as best "I am a shy turtle girl right now; no it isn't personal; no I am not depressed; no nothing is wrong I swear" can be explained, which I've found depends a lot on how inclined to turtliness the listener hirself is.
The internet has made disappearing easier, in the sense that I don't totally disappear. I can maintain the necessary indulgence of my introvert nature and still be the one doing the reaching out. Sometimes, it is during a disappearance that I write the most meaningful emails, have the most wonderful tumbling conversations via text, give my friends the biggest laugh by posting some elaborate Photoshopped monstrosity of their favorite things on their Facebook walls. Dispatches from the shell.
That is a life that feels real to me, and fuller than my life without the internet, which is a tool that helps me actively maintain relationships with my dear and deeply valued friends, in spite of the social anxiety that constantly invites me to retreat.
I find less need now to attend events during periods when my shyness and anxiety conspire to engulf me; I have fewer instances of sitting at the end of the bed, ostensibly deciding what to wear, but actually contemplating whether it is worth risking a panic attack in a crowded space in order to avoid having to make a call to a friend who would totally understand that I'm not coming. Not disappearing completely helps me engage in self-care.
Which is to say nothing about all the friendships I have made via the internet, not a few of which are with people who are shy in the same way I am. I value beyond measure my extroverted friends, but they can't totally relate to the part of me that does the disappearing act. It feels good to be understood intimately, by people who disappear, too.
It is a combination of in-person and online communication that lets me be who I am actually am.
That, I realize, it what gets under my skin about the diminishment of online communications and friendships as "not real"—because the internet has helped me become my realest self.
[Related Reading: The Sound of My Voice.]
In The News
[Content note: Misogyny, homophobia]
Happy Valentime's Day!
Moments ago, the Democratic-led Senate passed legislation for the first time that would allow same-sex marriage in Illinois. The marriage equality measure now goes to the House. Yes!
FreedomWorks created a video that includes a scene in which a female intern wearing a panda suit simulates performing oral sex on Hillary Clinton. Ummmm .... whut?
Republican (duh) Congressman Tim Huselskamp said that Obama is introducing gay marriage to destroy the family. Neat!
Lady Gaga has canceled the remainder of her U.S. tour after being diagnosed with Synovitis and a labral tear of the right hip.
Chubby Checker has filed a lawsuit over a software application named The Chubby Checker which estimates the size of a man's penis based on his shoe size.
Shoes for the Satan worshipper in your life. \m/
37 U.S. senators are calling on President Obama to sign an executive order barring federal contractors from discriminating against LGBT workers.
Watch Johnny Marr play "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" for the first time in 25 years.
One Billion Rising
[Content Note: Violence.]
A couple of people have asked me if I have any thoughts on One Billion Rising, which is an invitation to one billion women "and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end" to violence against women.
Zerlina's thoughts here pretty well capture my own:
One Billion Rising, while not perfect, does have an appeal to me as a survivor of violence. Sure, dancing isn't going to prevent a man from committing an act of violence, but there is something very powerful about survivors and allies getting together to dance, because dancing is literally about the physical movement of your own body. There is liberation in that autonomy.That last bit might sound flippant, but particularly juxtaposed with Jess' post, it isn't.
...I agree with some of the critiques of One Billion Rising, namely, that it doesn't actually address the causes of violence against women, it simply brings awareness. Obviously, bringing awareness to an issue is necessary, but it's not sufficient in order to actually solve the problem. Dancing isn't going to change rape culture, but if it makes a survivor feel free and in control of her body, if only for a few minutes today, dance on.
And let me know when One Billion men are rising.
I don't personally feel connected to One Billion Rising as a survivor, but I am genuinely thrilled for the people who do. I value awareness-raising, and though this particular event doesn't excite me shouldn't at all be interpreted to mean that I can't or don't appreciate it has excited lots and lots of people who are on my team, advocating against violence.
So: What do you think? I'm especially curious to hear from Shakers with physical disabilities that limit the ability to dance about whether you feel One Billion Rising is broad enough in its invitation to be inclusive of those who might dance differently or can't dance at all.
[P.S. I can't stop hearing Tom Hardy saying "The Billion Rises!" in a Bane voice.]
Dallas Men to Rally Against Domestic Violence
by Jessica Luther, aka scatx, who can also be found at her own blog, Speaker's Corner in the ATX, and blazing trails of righteous fury on Twitter.
[Content Note: Discussion of domestic violence.]
Just over a year ago, Melissa wrote a post called "Woman's Work," in which she talked about how misogynist anti-choicers count on "the effective void of male dissension, which supports their erroneous belief that they are the 'objective' arbiters of womanhood." When straight cis men fail to fight back against the harm done to all women (really, all people who aren't straight cis men), that silence is taken as tacit condoning by the people doing harm. One of the things that feminists and womanists often say is that things would change more rapidly and for the better for everyone if more straight cis men would be vocal opponents to misogyny in all of its forms.
I have some good news on this front.
Deep in the heart of my home state of Texas, there will be an anti-domestic violence rally in Dallas next month led by the mayor of the city, Mike Rawlings. Who will be in attendance? The men of Dallas. Rawlings said earlier this week that he expects 10,000 men to show up to the rally.
Can we pause for one moment and let that sink in? 10,000 men.
This is a response to a string of high-profile domestic violence murders that have taken place in the city in recent weeks, including the horrific case of a man who, after a long history of abusing his wife, tracked her down in the parking garage of the university where she worked and shot her to death.
Mayor Rawlings, less than a week later at a press conference, specifically stated that the victims of domestic violence are not to blame and if things are going to change, it is men who need to change their behavior: "It's our fault. It's not the women's fault. We want to make it known that any violent act toward a woman will not be tolerated by the men in the city."
At that point in time, he announced that he would be starting a public awareness campaign in the city "to change the male culture." He also showed incredible faith in the men of Dallas and the team of people he assigned to lead the campaign saying, "They'll stand with me in saying enough is enough. We will reinforce that hitting women is not acceptable, and we will learn how to intervene when we see it taking place."
The first major public event in this new campaign will be next month's rally. On Tuesday, Rawlings expressed that one way to stop violence in the future is to teach young boys that violence is unacceptable: "I want fathers to bring their sons. We have an intergenerational teaching moment here because, undoubtedly, this is a learned behavior."
Has Rawlings been listening to feminists/womanists?
For now, it is unclear what the next step in the public awareness campaign will be but Rawlings is unwavering when it comes to who he is directing the campaign at: "We're making this a grassroots movement. And we'll take it back to the community. In the past this has been viewed as a women's issue, but it ain't. It's our problem."
It's our problem.
This is radical.
And yet: Until my friend Andrea Grimes emailed me the story of the upcoming rally, I had not heard a single thing about this.
Thank you, Mayor Rawlings. I hope that your effort becomes a model for other city leaders and for other men around this country.
If you live in Dallas or somewhere close by and would like to attend this rally, it will take place at City Hall Plaza on March 23 at 10 a.m. "Athletes including Cowboys cornerback Brandon Carr and former Cowboy Troy Aikman plan to attend the rally, as well as city leaders and religious leaders such as T.D. Jakes and Catholic bishop of the Dallas diocese Kevin Farrell."
Tweet of the Day
Officially like to welcome #PeterDinklage from #GameOfThrones to #XMEN #DaysofFuturePast Very very excited!
— Bryan Singer (@BryanSinger) February 14, 2013
Peter Dinklage = LOVE.
X-Men = LOVE.
Peter Dinklage + X-Men = LOVE SQUARED.
*swoon*
