Following up, by popular request, on Tuesday's Question of the Day: What do you think is the best reality television show that has ever aired?
Let Them Eat Wedding Cake
[Content Note: Bullying; exploitation.]
A bunch of people have emailed me about the horrific story of a "funny" video of homeless people, some of whom appear to be addicts and/or have disabilities, that was shown at Justin Timberlake's and Jessica Biel's wedding reception. Kaiser has good coverage of it here.
I honestly don't know what to say about it except this: That is some real 1% shit, right there. And history suggests that the poor and dispossessed with tolerate an awful fucking lot from the wealthy and powerful, but they will not tolerate lavish displays of mocking contempt.
This is a real thing in the world.
Finally! Ladies, our long national nightmare is over. SCIENCE has finally produced a pen for US! A pen that takes into consideration the special necessities of Writing While Woman and accommodates them by being pink! OR PURPLE.
If you're willing to settle for a slightly less nice pen in the Bic Cristal for Her collection, you can also get one in a delicate pastel green or orange which won't offend fragile lady-eyes like the rough greys and navy blues of man-pens.
They are very highly rated at Amazon! You should definitely read some of the great reviews they're getting!
And they've got Ellen Degeneres' endorsement, too!
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to buy A MILLION!
[H/T to everyone in the multiverse, and thanks to each and every one of you.]
This is exciting! I am excited!
Ming-Na to Star in Joss Whedon's ABC Pilot 'Marvel's S.H.I.E.L.D.':
Joss Whedon has recruited ER alumna Ming-Na for one of the leads in his ABC drama pilot Marvel's S.H.I.E.L.D., which he is co-writing and directing. The project, from Marvel TV and ABC TV Studios, is based on a peacekeeping group found in both the comic book and feature film universes, including the blockbuster 2012 movie The Avengers.Eep! I was already pretty stoked about this show even before I found out Ming-Na was going to be in it, and now I am Officially Excited. It sounds a little bit like she might be playing a Starbuck-ish character, right? Yes, please!
Ming-Na will play Agent Melinda May. Soulful and slightly damaged by her combat experiences, Melinda is an ace pilot, a weapons expert and a soldier who can — and has — gone beyond the call of duty. The character was originally listed on the pilot's casting breakdown as Agent Althea Rice, aka The Cavalry. Ming-Na is the second actor cast in S.H.I.E.L.D., joining Clark Gregg, who is reprising his Iron Man, Thor and Avengers role as Agent Phil Coulson.
In case I need to establish my Ming-Na fan credentials, I will report that I have loved her ever since I first saw her as Trudy on the short-lived Jonathan Silverman 90s sitcom The Single Guy.
It was like Friends, but with Ernest Borgnine.
"Why the fuck were you watching The Single Guy?!"—Deeky.
"Shut up, buttfor!"—Me.
ANYWAY. People with slightly better taste in television may remember Ming-Na as Dr. Chen on ER or Camille Wray on SGU Stargate Universe.
Ming-Na Fun Fact: She was also the voice of Mulan!
In summation: Bring on Marvel's S.H.I.E.L.D.!!!
Mourdock Ain't Sorry, You Losers!
[Content Note: Rape culture; violent imagery.]
Well, he's sorry that we're such a bunch of stupid, oversensitive reactionaries who are just looking for things to get mad about, but he's sure not sorry for saying that if you get pregnant from rape, it's a gift from the Lord:
Mourdock said in a news conference that he abhors any sexual violence and regrets it if his comment during a debate Tuesday night left another impression. He said he firmly believes all life is precious and that he abhors violence of any kind.Ha ha of course not. God just wants to turn your rape lemons into baby lemonade! God's a silver lining kinda fella that way.
"I spoke from my heart. And speaking from my heart, speaking from the deepest level of my faith, I would not apologize. I would be less than faithful if I said anything other than life is precious, I believe it's a gift from god," Mourdock said.
...Mourdock maintained at the news conference that he was misunderstood.
"I think that God can see beauty in every life," Mourdock said. "Certainly, I did not intend to suggest that God wants rape, that God pushes people to rape, that God wants to support or condone evil in any way."
Anyway, good for the very privileged Mr. Mourdock for believing that all life is precious. It must be difficult to travel for the campaign without using any fossil fuels, but it'll be cool to have a Jain in Congress if he wins!
Ha ha that is only half a shitty joke at Mourdock's expense, because, in all seriousness, not everyone shares his bullshit philosophy. Not even everyone in Indiana! (I heard there are even some nefarious feminist types there.) And since I am fresh out of new ways to say "I exist and I am an atheist and I do not share your garbage ideology and I would like agency over my own body, please," I am going to turn it over to Neil Steinberg, who had a good column yesterday about the problem with Mourdock "speaking for God."
Say that my entire family is eaten by wolves. In my grief, I insist, "I'm not grieving, I'm happy, because it's all part of God's plan. The Lord wanted this to happen. My family is in heaven now, eating ice cream."And being raped, and needing abortion, are both, needless to say, a damn sight more common than one's entire family being devoured by wolves. It's a BIG DEAL that virtually an entire political party and its base "trip over...the idea that other people get to form their own beliefs." They are just certain that they are right (and/or don't care to extend people unlike them any rights of agency), and they endeavor to impose their will upon all the rest of us.
Everyone nods, no decent person would argue. It's my right to spin my tragedy however I like, however brings me solace.
Now change the premise. My family is fine. The wolves rush past them to your family and eats your family instead. While you are grieving, I stroll over, drape my arm around your shoulder and say, "Don't grieve. Be happy, because it's part of God's plan. The Lord wanted this to happen. Your family is in heaven now, eating ice cream."
I'm a jerk to say that, right? Because I'm using my religious outlook to dismiss the tragedy that has torn your life apart. It's not my place. We have the right to interpret the universe in a way that makes sense to us. What we don't have a right to do is expect — never mind demand — that other people share our worldview.
This flies by some Republicans, and they trip over it. Particularly when it comes to abortion. They are so lost in their own religious belief — that a fetus is a baby, that God is against abortion, contraception, often sex itself — that the idea that other people get to form their own beliefs too on these issues, just like they do, flies by them. It boggles their minds.
Meanwhile, large parts of the media helpfully abet this attempt at dominion by pretending that the anti-choice and pro-choice positions are two sides of the same coin, instead of emphasizing that the anti-choice position limits rights while the pro-choice position supports access to a full spectrum of options from which individual choices can be made by people empowered with information, agency, and consent.
This fight has never been Abortions for Nobody vs. Abortions for Everybody. It has always been, and always will be, Abortions for Nobody vs. Abortions for Whomever Needs and Wants Them.
That is not a semantic difference.
Back to Steinberg:
Mourdock felt compelled to clarify God's position: "God does not want rape, and by no means was I suggesting that He does. Rape is a horrible thing."Indeed.
Thanks for the update. So God is against rape, but he's for babies conceived by rape?
"I believe God controls the universe," said Mourdock, not bothering to add, "and I want to change the laws of the United States so you have to act as if you believe so too."
I can't speak for God, but nature sure wants women who are raped to sometimes give birth, just as nature, in its raw state, also wants humans to be filthy, hungry, scrambling mammals who die by the age of 35. Science nudges us beyond that on many fronts, including giving women the ability to end pregnancies. [Anti-choicers] intend to go down fighting. That is their misfortune, and ours.
In The News
[Content note: homophobia, terrorism, war, rape]
News and Opinions:
Scissor Sisters have announced they are taking an indefinite hiatus from music. Sad face.
The Syrian government says it will suspend military operations from Friday morning to Monday as part of a holiday cease-fire, but "reserves its right to respond" to attacks.
Elizabeth Taylor is now the top-earning dead celebrity.
Trans woman and West Point graduate Allyson Robinson will head Servicemembers Legal Defense Network and OutServe, a joint organization advocating for LGBT military personnel.
A Pennsylvania bill would reduce welfare benefits for women who cannot prove they were raped.
A federal grand jury has indicted the man who shot a security guard at the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C., on terrorism charges.
Meanwhile: A Kentucky jury acquitted two cousins of hate-crime charges while finding them guilty of kidnapping in a 2011 attack on a gay man.
John McCain is upset that Colin Powell has endorsed President Obama.
This shit is happening in my cubicle right now:
When Harry Met Gender Essentialism
Actual Headline: Men and Women Can't be 'Just Friends'.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am deleting all "Texting! With Liss and Deeky!" posts immediately before we BREAK THE UNIVERSE.
Actual Lede: "Can heterosexual men and women ever be 'just friends'?"
Welp, I'mma go with "Nope!" since the headline just told me they cannot.
Actual Next Two Sentences: "Few other questions have provoked debates as intense, family dinners as awkward, literature as lurid, or movies as memorable. Still, the question remains unanswered."
LOL. STILL?! After all the scientists discussing this provocative question at dinner, and reading about it in books on their Kindles, and watching SO MANY Rob Reiner movies about it, science is still leaving this question unanswered?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOURSELF, SCIENCE?
Actual Remaining Sentences in the Opening Paragraph: "Daily experience suggests that non-romantic friendships between males and females are not only possible, but common—men and women live, work, and play side-by-side, and generally seem to be able to avoid spontaneously sleeping together. However, the possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface."
So, men and women—which naturally means exclusively "women and men who are not asexual and who are attracted to people of genders other than their own"—can be friends, but only if they're faking it. Or something. And gay/bi people don't exist. The end. Amen.
Top Five
Here is your topic, suggested by Shaker yes: Top Five Favorite "Life Hacks," i.e. "the top 5 little tips and tricks we use to simplify everyday tasks or make things a little easier. Some of mine include saving the dispenser cap from an old ketchup bottle to use on barbecue sauce, tucking a small newspaper or grocery bag that I've folded up into the handle of my umbrella to keep it from dripping all over, using cheap shampoo to refill my hand soap dispenser, and drilling holes in my soap holder so the water just pours out. I love it!" Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Boobs > Women
[Content Note: Illness; objectification; gender essentialism.]
Long-time readers will remember my oft-repeated observation: "There is, perhaps, no more perfect example of the fucked-up ways in which women, womanhood, and female bodies are viewed than at the intersection of the realities of breast cancer and the tone of breast cancer awareness marketing."
I have written about my frustration with variations on "save the boobies" campaigns and other objectifying breast cancer campaigns on many occasions, and other contributors have written about garbage cross-promotions and pinkification—which, not incidentally, in combination with the increasing emphasis on "boobies" creates a "save the PINK boobies" narrative, despite the fact that breast cancer mortality rates for African American women are disproportionately high.
The disproportionate emphasis on "saving boobies" is problematic for a whole lot of reasons. Is what I'm saying.
Earlier this month, my friend and colleague Jessica Luther (aka scatx) wrote a great piece for Flyover Feminism, "No More 'Save the Ta-Tas' Please," which addressed some of those reasons. Like, for example, the fact that partially or wholly removing "the ta-tas" is often what saves the lives of people with breast cancer.
Focusing on breasts and breasts alone obscures the reality and the faces of the people who are at the center of the fight against breast cancer. It reminds the survivors who either don't have their breasts or have scars across the breasts they do have that they are now not as wholly feminine [by a kyriarchal definition] as they once were (and they never will be). They may have beaten the cancer but they lost their breasts, the things everyone seems to actually care about.That piece got a lot of attention (if you haven't read it, go read it!), and Jess was invited to participate on CBC's "The Current" in a discussion about whether we are "saving breasts or women's lives."
And now, if you are able, you can listen to it online here.
(
Jess did an excellent job of inserting women's full humanity into this important conversation. Sure, "save the boobies" gets attention, but at what cost?
Your Bootstraps Are Ours Now. Good Luck!
by Shaker trinity91
[Content Note: Racism; eliminationism.]
This is the story about how my family ended up needing the social services that the Republicans want so badly to take away.
When I was three years old, my family moved out into the country and onto a sustainable farm. Our 20-family community raised and grew the majority of our own food. The land we lived on was what the US government calls a "land grant"—land that was given to individual families before the area surrounding it became part of the United States. This is important. The land is considered untaxable because it doesn't belong to the US government and therefore cannot be sold.
The work was hard, but it meant that our rent was extremely low and we had very little food expense. This was the only way for my mom to support us.
The surrounding area started to develop when I was about ten. More and more people were looking to get out of the city. With people comes the need for services. Water companies, internet coverage, etc.
Then came the problem: Ten miles away from where we lived was a large town. For 20 years, Walmart had been trying to open a store in that area with no success. No one would sell to them because they would do what they do and run everyone else's business out of town. The area where we were had never been considered an option because there just wasn't enough infrastructure on which to operate such a large store.
When those services became available, right away they started to try finding land. Unfortunately for them, none of the land in the area was zoned for commercial use. They tried for 4 years to get it rezoned and lost. So they paid off a county official to seize our land. The county cited undocumented immigrants living there as the reason for seizing it. Since the land was then considered government-owned land and had not previously been zoned they could zone it however they chose.
This was devastating to my family. In the 11 years we spent there, my mom had had two more kids, my disabled grandmother had moved in with us, as had my aunt and uncle who had both lost their jobs, their two kids, and one of their kids girlfriends whose parents had kicked her out. That's ten people having to live off of one person's barely above minimum wage income.
After being forced off our land, my family had no choice but to go on food stamps. My mom couldn't afford food for two of us on her income 11 years before. There was no way that she could do so with 11 years' worth of inflation, and 8 more people to feed. My family lived on an income that managed to put us at 50% of the poverty line.
Ten years later, she is still struggling to make ends meet as a result of this unjust upheaval. She is still working. She is also still on food stamps. There was no possible way that my mom could have foreseen this happening and planned for the time when government and business conspired to take away her home.
She was, by their account, doing everything right. She was working a full time job. She was paying her bills on time. She was helping out others in need because she could afford to do so. We had to go on food stamps specifically because of policies that they support.
Land seizure on undocumented immigrants is one of the Romney campaign's supported policies. His website—the one he's always telling us to read—indicates he intends to fully comply with federal immigration laws that are already in place, which includes, per the Federal Immigration and Nationalities Act, penalties for being or harboring an undocumented immigrant that include forfeiture of any and all property held within the United States.
We were able to take care of ourselves until that policy was used against us.
When Mitt Romney says that he wants to cut food stamps, or talks about people on food stamps in the way he does, I want all of you to remember my story.
Mitt Romney does not think people are entitled to food, yet he thinks that corporations are entitled to the land on which other people live and sustain themselves.
Whoooooooooops!
Yesterday, I pointed you to a GREAT piece at CNN asking: "Do hormones drive women's votes?" Ha ha what a super question with lots of terrific answers! Now this is all that remains in its place:
Some elements of the story. Like the title, the opening paragraphs, the closing paragraphs, and everything in between.
So the President Was on The Tonight Show Last Night...
And, during the interview, Jay Leno asked him about [content note: rape culture] Indiana Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock's "pregnancy from rape is a gift from God" comments, and here is what happened:
Leno: This senate candidate Richard Mourdock—(And 100% of the income in a lot of households, too.)
Obama: Yeah.
Leno: He made a statement today—or at least I saw it today—I want quote what he said. He said, he was asked about rape and—"I struggled with it, myself, for a long time, but I came to realize life is a gift from God. And even if life begins in a horrible situation of rape, it is something God intended to happen." Which, I mean, this seems like we're back to Todd Akin time again.
President Obama: Well, you know, I don't know how these guys come up with these ideas. Let me make a very simple proposition.
Leno: Mm-hmm.
Obama: Rape is rape. It is a crime. [modest applause] And so, these various distinctions about rape and, you know—don't make too much sense to me. Don't make any sense to me. The second thing this underscores, though, this is exactly why you don't want a bunch of politicians—mostly male—making decisions about women's health care decisions. [huge applause] Women are capable of making these decisions, in consultation with their partners, with their doctors—and, you know, for politicians to want to intrude in this stuff, often times without any information, is a huge problem. And this is obviously a part of what's at stake in this election. You've got a Supreme Court that—you know, typically a president is gonna have probably another couple of appointments during the course of his term. And, you know, Roe vs. Wade is probably hanging in the balance. You've got issues like Planned Parenthood where—you know, that organization provides millions of women cervical cancer screenings, mammograms, all kinds of basic healthcare.
Leno: Right.
Obama: And so I think it's really important for us to understand that women are capable of making these decisions, and that these are not just women's issues; these are family issues. [applause]
Leno: Right.
Obama: Because, you know, women are half the—women are bringing in half the income in a lot of households, and it's really important.
Rape is rape. It is a crime. And so, these various distinctions about rape and, you know—don't make too much sense to me. Don't make any sense to me.
Our President said that. I could listen to it all day.
Question of the Day
What would you like to see asked as a future Question of the Day or used as a future Top Five topic?
Quote of the Day
"I was touched to see this tape where Mitt Romney's finally letting his hair down and dancing like nobody's watching. It warmed my heart to see that, when he's alone with his fellow bazillionaires, he finally feels free to show that Mitt Romney is a real person. He's a real elitist jerk who hates your grandparents and thinks half the country are no-good lazy moochers."—Jay Smooth, in his new video for the Actually.org project.
Video clip of Mitt Romney from his infamous 47% speech: "There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right—there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. [edit] And so my job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives."
Jay Smooth, onscreen, speaking to the camera: Uh, actually, that's like every kind of wrong at once. It's like an aurora borealis of elitist douchebaggery.
Forty-seven percent of Americans don't believe in personal responsibility? If you actually look at who that forty-seven percent is, a lot of them are senior citizens—you know, our grandparents? The people that Tom Brokaw told us like 80,000 times invented personal responsibility? And worked so hard to make this country great? And walked uphill, both ways, to work at the plant Mitt Romney shut down?
That's who the forty-seven percent is—American people who take on personal responsibilities Mitt Romney has never had to face. And I think that's why he just doesn't get it. I think that's why he thinks it's okay to deny personal responsibility for his track record as governor, his tax returns, the tortured screams of his family dog. And now he's even denying personal responsibility for that stuff he said about personal responsibility.
But I think we all know that that was the real Mitt Romney that we saw in that tape. And, look, I think it's beautiful that there's one place in the world where he feels free to be himself like that.
Watching how awkward he was on the campaign trail, trying to interact with the little people, I started feeling bad for him, and wondering if he ever feels like he fits in, if he ever feels at home—in any of his six homes. [counts on fingers] Kennebunkport, Martha's Vineyard, Hyannis Port, Dubai, Mos—well, probably not Russia, because that's our number one enemy.
So I was touched to see this tape where Mitt Romney's finally letting his hair down and dancing like nobody's watching. It warmed my heart to see that, when he's alone with his fellow bazillionaires, he finally feels free to show that Mitt Romney is a real person. He's a real elitist jerk who hates your grandparents and thinks half the country are no-good lazy moochers.
I think that's a beautiful thing. I mean, it would make him a horrible president. We need a president who understands the responsibilities that everyday Americans face, and wants to take personal responsibility for helping all of us.
And I think we should help set Mitt Romney free to be himself, by keeping him far, far away from the White House.
"There are some things we do for ourselves, but there are some things we do for others."
[Content Note: Transphobia; violence; self-harm.]
I might have mentioned once or twice that I love the Wachowskis. It's really not an exaggeration to say that this blog might not be what it is if The Matrix and V for Vendetta hadn't meant something deep and personal to me at key times; hadn't played a part in informing my feelings about social justice, resistance, and the value of some personal sacrifice for a greater cause.
A lot of writers, and a lot of filmmakers, tell epic stories to inspire us to better selves in our decidedly un-epic lives, but there's something very specific about the Wachowskis' collective voice that speaks to me in a way that uniquely moves me.
It's maybe because we have a similar sensibility about some things. They're from Chicago, too, and we're separated in age by less than a decade. I relate, hard, if on a smaller scale, to their desire for a level of anonymity while engaging in a public career—the aversion to a press that wants to define you in clichés, and trying to navigate some sort of balance between knownness and notoriety, and being visible for a purpose. I would say I get them, but I don't know them: It's really more accurate to say I feel like they'd get me. Them, I admire.
I won't call them my heroes, but only because it has always seemed such an unfair thing, to me, to call someone a hero—to put someone on a pedestal from which they cannot escape and lionize them to the virtual point of dehumanization. It's such a terrible way to recognize the rarity of a person whose work and example are so meaningful that I aspire to follow their lead, this instinct to ignore their complex humanity (lest one spy a flaw, oh dear), when their humanity is a fundamental part of what makes them admirable in the first place.
After all, they live in the same shitty world that we all do, and have the same human foibles, but manage to be kind and wise despite the cultural cacophony of disincentives to be either.
To call someone a hero, it seems to me, steals them of the hard work they do to deserve admiration in the first place and replaces it with a distancing exceptionalism—which is really just a way of excusing myself from working just as hard. So I don't have heroes.
But if I did, the Wachowskis would be on that list.
Anyway. That was a long-winded introduction to this, a speech Lana Wachowski gave the other night to the Human Rights Campaign's annual gala dinner in San Francisco, where she was presented with the Visibility Award. I pretty much blubbed through the entire thing, FYI. (Shocking, I know.)
[Full transcript of Lana's speech here.]
I am here because Mr. Henderson taught me that there are some things we do for ourselves, but there are some things we do for others. I am here because when I was young, I wanted very badly to be a writer, I wanted to be a filmmaker, but I couldn't find anyone like me in the world and it felt like my dreams were foreclosed simply because my gender was less typical than others. If I can be that person for someone else, then the sacrifice of my private civic life may have value.All the blubs in the world. All of them.
Actual Headline
At CNN: Do hormones drive women's votes?
Actual opening paragraphs:
While the campaigns eagerly pursue female voters, there's something that may raise the chances for both presidential candidates that's totally out of their control: women's ovulation cycles.BUT WE WON'T LET THAT STOP US FROM WRITING AN ENTIRE ARTICLE ABOUT IT WHICH ENDS WITH A DUBIOUS NOTE OF COULD BE TRUE!
You read that right. New research suggest that hormones may influence female voting choices differently, depending on whether a woman is single or in a committed relationship.
Please continue reading with caution. Although the study will be published in the peer-reviewed journal Psychological Science, several political scientists who read the study have expressed skepticism about its conclusions.
Honest to Maude.
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by purple ink.
Recommended Reading:
Andreana: Black Women Are Precious [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism, violence, and self-harm.]
Kelly: Our First PRIDE [Related Reading: My Son Is in Love with Another Boy]
Ruxandra: Life after Mastectomy and the Choice Against Reconstruction
Angry Asian Man: This Is a Photo of an American Hero
Issa: 21 Things to Stop Saying Unless You Hate Fat People [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of fat bias and anti-fat language.]
Lori: Voting While Trans [Content Note: The post at this link deals with gender policing.]
Angus: Administration's Failure to Effectively Respond to Student Sexual Assault Rocks Amherst College [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of sexual violence and insufficient support of survivors.]
Jorge: Off the Record, Obama tells Reporter: If I Win, It'll Be Because GOP 'Alienated' Latinos
Andy: Lesbian Couple's Kiss Shocks French Gay Marriage Protesters
Adrienne: So You Wanna Be an Indian for Halloween? [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism and appropriation.]
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
