Autumn
It is such a beautiful autumn day here today. When I took the dogs out at midday, I lied on my back in the grass in the middle of the garden. This was my view.
Often, I think I would like to live somewhere without the extreme heat and humidity of our summers and the extreme cold and abundant snowfall of our winters, but I would really miss the changing of the seasons in this place.
Headline of the Day
Swing States Poll: Women Push Romney Into Lead. "As the presidential campaign heads into its final weeks, the survey of voters in 12 crucial swing states finds female voters much more engaged in the election and increasingly concerned about the deficit and debt issues that favor Romney."
There are, of course, other issues about which female voters are interested, but President Obama isn't talking about them. As I said last week: "The Democrats' silence on reproductive rights does not treat it like the marked party distinction it is; it treats it like an issue they don't even think is worth talking about."
So it all comes down to Other Stuff, and it's too late now to go back and not concede the Republican talking point that the deficit is A Problem so that the entire economic conversation isn't on conservative terms. Whoooooooooops!
"In every poll, we've seen a major surge among women in favorability for Romney" since his strong performance in the first debate, veteran Democratic pollster Celinda Lake says. "Women went into the debate actively disliking Romney, and they came out thinking he might understand their lives and might be able to get something done for them."That's the cost of President Obama taking female voters for granted, of coasting on "Lilly Ledbetter" for four years, of the Democrats lazily assuming every woman will axiomatically vote for the party who promises to "protect Roe" while letting it be hollowed out in state legislatures across the nation, where women and other people with uteri have to actually navigate the restrictions their ostensibly pro-choice President couldn't ever be bothered to criticize from his bully pulpit.
The ultimate cost might be the election. And the terrible part is that it's still women who will pay.
Do You Need a Nice Story?
[Content Note: Animal injury.]
Here is a very nice story about a dog in the Philippines who "lost her nose about a year ago when she leapt in front of a motorcycle to save the lives of two young girls," and now awaits reconstructive surgery at UC Davis in California after social media fundraising raised $20,000 for her.
The Care for Kabang Facebook page is completely doing me in.
I love her guardians so much for noticing Kabang had figured out how to accommodate her disability and deciding not to put her down, just because she looks different now.
ETA. And if that one isn't enough, here's another! Connecticut Shelter Dog Returns Favor by Saving Baby. "Save the life of an animal in need, and he or she may someday save yours." ALL THE BLUBS!
Quote of the Day
"So let's be brutally honest here. The Romney-Ryan position on health care is that many millions of Americans must be denied health insurance, and millions more deprived of the security Medicare now provides, in order to save money. At the same time, of course, Mr. Romney and Mr. Ryan are proposing trillions of dollars in tax cuts for the wealthy. So a literal description of their plan is that they want to expose many Americans to financial insecurity, and let some of them die, so that a handful of already wealthy people can have a higher after-tax income."—Paul Krugman, not mincing words.
Discussion Thread: How is your life not perfect?
In yesterday's Open Thread, Shaker musicalnomad observed: "I read somewhere recently (could even have been here!) that social media is letting us see the highlight reel of everyone else's life while we have to sludge through our own behind the scenes documentary... so true."
That is something I've tried to counter in this space—writing about fighting with Iain, as well as all the good bits; writing about having PTSD or being a trichotillomaniac or having chronic laundry disorganization or melting down while clothes shopping or uncovering another piece of unexamined privilege or household drama or being broke or being sick or being socially awkward or ruining dinner or having no fashion sense or the fur tumbleweeds in my office. I do not want to give the impression that I am, or my life is, perfect or special or uniquely amazing, because I'm not and it's not.
I can still be happy with myself and my life despite (and sometimes because of) my/its many imperfections. And, the fact is, being obliged by others to project nothing but undiluted happiness has been a source of much trouble in my life. My failures and flaws are part of what makes me human, and I need them as much as the many good things about my life.
It's also important for me to convey a balanced picture because this isn't a celebrity PR project, in which my intent in sharing personal info is to invite you to compare your life and inevitably fall short in the measure.
Between the Perfect Lives conveyed by social media and carefully orchestrated photo-ops of the glamorous lives of the rich and famous and politically powerful, it's easy to feel like you're the only one whose life is occasionally, or more than occasionally, a mess.
And in the interest of giving ourselves and each other a break from feeling alone in our respective messes, let us share one way, or the many ways, in which our lives are imperfect, especially in the ways over which we ostensibly have control, but haven't seemed able to take it.
I'll go first: I still can't get my fucking laundry under control.
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by rays of autumn sunshine.
Recommended Reading:
Poppy: Thirteen Weeks [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of the war on agency.]
Pam: Breaking News: HPV Vaccine Isn't Slut Sauce!
Mary: Reddit, Predditor, and Outing Bad Behaviour [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of misogyny, bullying, and sexual assault.]
Aaron: Creepshots and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of "Free Speech" [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of misogyny, bullying, and sexual assault.]
Krissy: Why isn't anyone talking about the misogyny involved in Amanda Todd's life and death? [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of misogyny, bullying, sexual assault, and self-harm.]
Echidne: Rosie Perez on the Disadvantages Romney Faces as a Straight White Cis Man [video]
Voting is open for the 2012 Women's' Media Center Social Media Award! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Movie Genres. You may be thinking: Are there really that many from which to choose? Yes! Yes, there are! Dramas, comedies, dramadies, thrillers, romantic comedies, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, biopics, documentaries, mockumentaries, animated, children's films, adult films (ahem), historical fiction, concert films, etc. Plus sub-genres like psychological thrillers, sports dramas, coming-of-age comedies, dystopian sci-fi, etc. Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
The Walking Thread
(Spoilers lurch undeadly herein.)
The Walking Dead returned last night, reuniting us with all our stupid heroes who are still trudging after Grimes because his patriarchal posturing + dithering + gunz has "kept us alive this far." That is NOT what Dale said! RIP Dale.
When last we left our stupid heroes, they were trapped in a garbage nightmare of swarming zombies and inconsistent writing, and I decided I was done with The Walking Dead. But then lots of Walking Deadheads, even and especially ones who love the show, told me that my hating the show was super fun for them, which I totes get because I loved reading anti-Lost recaps, so here I am—back with more sarcastic contempt for your enjoyment!
(Please don't let that discourage you from loving the show in comments! LOVE THE SHOW! HATE THE SHOW! LOVE-HATE THE SHOW! The Walking Thread is for EVERYONE!)
Here are the Top Five Worst Things About This Garbage Episode in No Particular Order:
1. Grimes. Grimes will always and forever be one of the worst things about any and every episode, because Grimes is terrible. The other survivors should use whatever zombie-free time they've got building a cannon from which to shoot Grimes into the sun, because that will serve them better in the long run than continuing to trail after his mardy, grisly visage all over Georgia while he seethes at his wife and paces the perimeter like a meth-addled wolf hybrid.
2. Carl's hat.
3. We are all infected. So says Lori while freaking out at Hershel about the possibility of her fetus dying inside her and tearing her apart. (I BET YOU'RE GLAD YOU LET GRIMES TALK YOU OUT OF THAT ABORTION, HUH?!) But if everyone is infected after all, then why does it matter if the zombies bite them? Why does it matter if zombie blood gets in a scratch on their skin? And if it matters that zombie blood gets in a scratch on their skin, WHY ARE YOU STILL KILLING ZOMBIES IN TANK-TOPS WITH ACRES OF EXPOSED SKIN, MAGGIE?
4. Just when you think you have a pretty good handle on remembering just how infernally fucking boring this show is, Maggie and her sister whose name I can't be bothered to look up start singing the slowest goddamn song of all time, and then you're like OH RIGHT THIS SHOW IS LIKE WATCHING ZOMBIE BLOOD SPLATTER DRY.
5. Everything else.
In summation: Fuck this show. Discuss.
In The News
[Content note: homophobia, suicide, misogyny]
President Barack Obama will bring more energy and passion to his second debate with Mitt Romney, advisers to the president said. Well, that's good news.
Mitt Romney invested in ten Chinese companies recently, including ones that embezzled, partnered with Iran, and stole US trade secrets. Great candidate!
Johnny Rotten thinks he's a lot like Joe Biden. Joe Biden is still relevant, though.
Atlas Shrugged: Part II opened this weekend. It currently holds a zero percent critical rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Whoops!
Fifty-six percent of American Indian and Alaskan Native transgender people have attempted suicide.
The Indonesian government has acted to tackle the nation's HIV crisis by overriding international pharmaceutical companys' patents on HIV drugs.
Chick-fil-A is selling party trays "Only a Fruitcake Wouldn't Love." Obviously.
Television host and actor Gary Collins died of natural causes over the weekend. He was 74.
Former U.S. Sen. Arlen Specter died Sunday after a long battle with cancer.
Enjoy being a girl, it's The Age of FDS!
Watch this: The 1947 Belgian stop motion film Le Crabe aux Pinces d'Or was the first Tintin story to be adapted into a movie.
Generally Terrible
"This fuckin' election!"
Here is all the latest news (or at least some of it!) from the long national nightmare that is The Presidential Election 2012: Vote for Whoever You Think Will Destroy the Country Less Quickly!
If you were waiting to decide how to vote based on what British asshole and inexplicable US television personality Piers Morgan thinks, well, you are IN LUCK today! "He's one of the least principled politicians I've met. But I believe Mitt Romney might just save America." Sure.
I know what you're thinking! BUT WHAT DOES JAY MCINERNY, AUTHOR OF ICONIC 80'S SECOND-PERSON NOVEL BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG CITY, HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?! "We have to give Obama a second chance."
Boy, it just doesn't get any easier, does it? Piers Morgan says Mitt Romney will save America, WHICH IS PRETTY GOOD, but Jay McInerny says that President Barack Obama deserves a second term, WHICH IS ALSO COMPELLING. I hardly know where to turn.
It's no wonder that it's still a tight race going to debate #2!
Hey! Speaking of the debate! The one thing EVERYONE can agree on is that scheduled debate moderator Candy Crowley, Woman, stinks! She has suggested that her role in moderating the town-hall style debate, in which average voters who do not have decades-long careers as professional journalists ask questions of the candidates, could include asking follow-up questions, especially in the event that the candidates are evasive. Naturally, both campaigns are OUTRAGED! They selected a competent female journalist to moderate the perennially awkward to the point of infuriatingly useless town-hall style debate so that she would STFU!
As Crowley put it last week, "Once the table is kind of set by the town-hall questioner, there is then time for me to say, 'Hey, wait a second, what about X, Y, Z?'"Reconfirm her function. Yiiiiiiiiikes. The American Democracy at work!
...After Crowley made her "x, y, z" remarks to Suzanne Malveaux on October 5, the two campaign counsels, Bob Bauer for President Obama and Ben Ginsberg of the Romney campaign, jointly reached out to the Commission to express concern that the moderator’s comments seemed in direct conflict with the terms of their agreement. The Commission sent back word that they would discuss the matter with Crowley and reconfirm her function.
[Content Note: Racism.]
And in other news, Republicans are still super racist toward the President!
Mark Sanford Says Obama Will 'Throw a Lot of Spears' at Next Debate: "The disgraced former Republican governor of South Carolina on Sunday used a racially-coded term in his prediction that the nation's first African-American president would go on attack and 'throw a lot of spears' at Tuesday's town hall debate. ... 'Completely coincidentally, and not at all related to this, the term 'spearchucker' is a racial slur against black people, but what would a 52-year-old white guy from South Carolina know about that?' [Mediaite's Tommy Christopher] quipped sarcastically."
Wisconsin Senate Candidate's Son Says We "Have The Opportunity" to Send Obama Back to Kenya: "Jason Thompson, the son of former Governor and Wisconson Senate candidate Tommy Thompson, speaking this morning at a brunch attended RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said that 'we have the opportunity to send President Obama back to Chicago—or Kenya.' ... The Thompson campaign emails: 'The Governor has addressed this with his son, just like any father would do. Jason Thompson said something he should not have, and he apologizes.'"
And Getty Images photographer Jamie Sabau snapped an image of a white man at a Romney campaign event in Lancaster, Ohio last Friday wearing a t-shirt reading: "Put the white back in the White House." He was also sporting a Romney/Ryan campaign sticker. Gee, it's almost like running a campaign full of racist dog-whistles and overt racism attracts racist supporters! GO FIGURE!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
Photo of the Day
Yesterday. Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner set about a million world records when he broke the speed of sound after jumping from a pod hovering 128,100 feet (24 miles!) above earth. It was (unofficially) the highest ever manned balloon flight, and the highest ever freefall.
Baumgartner freefell for four minutes and twenty seconds—including a patch where he tumbled uncontrollably, just a tiny spinning figure on infrared, until he was eventually able to right himself—before his parachute opened and he glided safely to land in New Mexico.
I watched the entire two-hour+ ascent yesterday live on Discovery News, and Iain came and joined me once I started screaming with excitement and terror as Baumgartner prepared to jump. I kept disinterested Deeks abreast of the space jump by text:
By the time Baumgartner was starting to scoot his way out of the pod, I was curled up on the couch with a blanket, writhing in a puckered cringe, but unable to look away. Iain said the best part about watching the space jump was watching me watch the space jump.
I loved it. Way to go, Felix Baumgartner!
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Originally posted 10/01/12
[Content Note: Detailed discussion of domestic violence, including descriptions of what constitutes domestic violence.]
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Domestic violence occurs within every class, age group, race, and religion. It happens in families, friendships, and intimate relationships. Intimate partner violence happens within same and different sex partnerships; it happens whether people are married, living together, or dating. Approximately one in four women has been a victim of domestic violence. Too often society--like with rape--places the blame on the victim and not the perpetrator. We need to change that.
What is it?*
Physical Abuse It isn't "only" hitting, slapping, choking, shoving. It also is using the body to intimidate. Physical abuse is also causing fear and intimidation via punching holes in walls/doors and throwing objects. It is intentionally scaring a partner by driving unsafely. It is preventing a partner from leaving their home.
Sexual Abuse When a person submits to sexual acts out of fear or coercion, it is rape. Capitulation does not equal consent. If a partner must "give in" because of fear of the consequences of saying no: that is part of sexual abuse. Remember: You always, ALWAYS, have a right to say no. Married or not. "Been a long time" or not. Always and without fear. Intimate partner reproductive coercion and birth control sabotage are aspects of sexual abuse.
Emotional Abuse It is real--not being hit or raped doesn't mean not being abused. Emotional abusers isolate their victims. Emotional abusers will use emotional blackmail, guilt, and shame to get victims to stay and may threaten suicide if they leave. They verbally assault with name-calling, mockery, public & private humiliation, and threats. They may expect their partners to ask their "permission" to do things. Emotional abusers can also be ones who constantly "know what's best" and blows up/rages if their partner doesn't submit to their "advice" (control). Economic abuse is a sub-category of emotional abuse: abusers use the finances to exert control over their partners.
***
Did you know? (.pdf)
* Young people age 12 to 19 experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault, and people age 18 and 19 experience the highest rates of stalking.If you parent, work with, or otherwise have a relationship with young people: please talk to them about healthy relationships and domestic violence. If you are a parent (or otherwise similarly involved with a young person), don't just have talks about sex--have them about relationships and how to engage in healthy ones.
* Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.
* In a national online survey, one in five tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. Two in five of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships.
* Nationwide, nearly one in ten high-school students (9.8 percent) has been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
* Teens in same-sex relationships experience rates of violence and abuse similar to rates experienced by teens in heterosexual relationships. Data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health finds that nearly one in four teens and young adults (ages 12-21 years) in same-sex romantic or sexual relationships reported some type of partner violence victimization in the past year-and-a-half. One in ten reported experiencing physical violence by a dating partner.
* One in three teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped or physically hurt by a partner.
***
Resources
If you are in an abusive situation (physical or not) you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (US & Canada): 1-800-799-SAFE or see their site (they have a great list of resources on their site, as well)
RAINN is a particular resource for those who are being sexually abused: 1.800.656.HOPE or see their site.
The Power and Control Wheel (.pdf) and the Equality Wheel (.pdf) (via)
Futures Without Violence
Know More. Say More.
No More.
-----------------
*Not intended to be a comprehensive listing
Sunday Shuffle
I had to post this video because the HAIR! The DANCE MOVES! The SILK SHIRTS! But here is a better audio recording.
How about you?
