Today in Garbage Disasters

photo of a box of trash bags reading: 'GLAD Trash Bags help protect you and your home from garbage disasters.'

Shaker Checarina emailed this photo along with the query: "D'you think these trash bags can protect us from a Romney/Ryan administration?"

HA HA I HOPE SO! Can they help protect us from GARBAGE NIGHTMARES as well as GARBAGE DISASTERS, or do we need some sort of extra-strength yard bag for that?

(Those look a lot like the special preservation receptacles in which I store Deeky's Garbage Treasures, btw.)

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Starland Vocal Band: "Afternoon Delight"

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Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by sunshine.

Recommended Reading:

Aura: Another Voting Rights Victory, This Time in Ohio

Pema: Romney Advisers: Romney Will Return to Foreign Policy of Truman and Reagan (So atomic warfare and/or the constant thread of mutually assured destruction? PERFECT.)

Ed: What It Always Was

Dayvoe: New Yorker Cover

Sarah: Why I Celebrate Indigenous People's Day (Not Columbus Day) [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of colonialism and associated violence.]

Reni: A Problem That Stubbornly Refuses to Budge [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism.]

Sayantani: 'Your Women Are Oppressed, But Ours Are Awesome': How Nicholas Kristof and Half the Sky Use Women Against Each Other [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism, appropriation, Western supremacy, and violence against women.]

Kevin: Texan Eleanor Fairchild Arrested for "Trespassing" as Her Own Land Is Seized for TransCanada Tar Sands Pipeline; Actress Daryl Hannah Also Arrested

Lauren: Hope Larson's A Wrinkle in Time Comic Is a Love Letter to the Original

Andy: Ohio State Marching Band Performs Tribute to Zelda, Halo, Pokemon, Tetris, Other Video Games [video]

Miss Cellania: Rescuing Watson [Content Note: Evidence of animal injury; major blub warning for happy ending. / video]

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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Daily Dose of Cute

Lest there be any question about who really rules Shakes Manor, it is Olivia. Exhibit A:


Video Description: Zelda the Black-and-Tan Mutt eats breakfast out of her bowl. At the other bowl, Olivia the Cat is eating, while Dudley the Greyhound stands to one side, forlorn and helpless, looking at Iain and me plaintively. "Dudley, who's eatin' your food?" I ask him. He looks down at Olivia. "Is Olivia eatin' it?" I laugh. Zelda and Dudley look at us. "He's like, 'What the hell?'" I say. He towers over her, staring down at her eating away. "She rules them so hard," I say. "Look at 'em." Dudley stares, fecklessly. "Dudley," I say, and he looks at me. "Just tell her to get lost. Say: 'Don't eat my food!'" His ears twitch. "Say: 'Hey, kitty-cat! Don't eat my food!'" He looks back at her; hovers.

Iain says, "What worries me is I JUST FED HER." (We just had her at the vet; nothing's wrong with her. She's just a little piggy.) "Eh, she just likes their food better," I say, "especially now that we're feeding them the salmon." Iain corrects me: "It's turkey." I reply: "Oh, is it turkey?" Olivia starts to move away from the bowl, and I exclaim, "Oh, she's gone, Dudz! Hurry!" But she just swings around and starts eating it from the other direction. "Go get it!" I tell him. He flicks his ears, looks back at me as if to say, "Can't you SEE that she's STILL HERE?!"

Dudley turns back to the food and hangs his head pathetically. He leans toward Zelda and sniffs at her bowl. I laugh. "It's total confusion," Iain says. I say: "He's like, 'Zelda, can I have some of yours?'" Iain bursts out laughing. I laugh more. Olivia walks away from the bowl and into the kitchen. Dudley immediately sticks his head in the bowl and begins eating. "Oh, finally," I say. "Phew. He might've starved there."

"It's really funny that he did not bully her out of the way," Iain observes. "Nah," I say. "He's too sweet. He's a good boy." Dudley and Zelda eat their breakfast contentedly, side-by-side.

Dudley and Zelda confab while Olivia eats out of one of the dog dishes
"We have really got to do something about this." "You do something." "No, YOU do it!"

And Exhibit B:

image of Olivia sitting in a cat bed on top of a table in our living room

There used to be a beautiful white glass lamp there. Used to be. Then Olivia decided she wanted that space for herself. For a few weeks, we were chasing Livs off the table, and moving the lamp back into place, after she'd pushed it to the edge to make room for herself to sprawl. Eventually, the lamp ended up shattered on the floor. Now there is no lamp and a cat bed where the lamp used to be.

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Photo of the Day

image of actor James Franco sitting naked on a table with a sheet draped over his lap and legs, his bare chest being covered in gold leaf by artist Marina Abramovic, who stands at his side in a white lab coat

What—did you think James Franco wasn't going to undergo the "Abramovic Technique," in which performance artist Marina Abramovic covers his "naked body in gold leaves, transforming him into a living sculpture reminiscent of a deity" for the season opener of Iconoclasts? You're so weird.

That was always definitely going to happen, because the universe conspires to arrange itself in ways that give certain events the uncanny appearance of unavoidable destiny, and we are not meant to question these shimmering moments in the unfathomable experience that is human existence, but instead merely behold them with deserved awe as we breathe in the lessons of magnificent and terrible mortality with which they present us.

Because James fuckin' Franco, man.

(This episode will air tomorrow at 8pm ET on the Sundance Channel.)

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In The News

All The News In Fits and Spurts:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was re-elected Sunday to a new six-year term, overcoming an energetic challenge by a candidate backed by an opposition coalition.

Judy Garland's original costume from The Wizard of Oz could sell for half a million dollars when it hits the auction block next month.

Tom Tomorrow will no longer be available in The Village Voice.

Do you want to call Corey & Corey? I wish this 900 number for Corey Haim and Corey Feldman were still around. I wish Corey Haim were still around.

Hungry Hungry Hippos is being turned into a movie. It will be for kids, which sucks. I was hoping for something more akin to Jaws.

"Some children are gay. So the fuck what?" — Sally Field.

An 11-year-old Russian boy discovered a nearly intact wooly mammoth carcass in Siberia.

Madrid was chosen to host in 2017 the world's largest and most prestigious gay event, World Gay Pride.

In a new PSA, The Undeading, a horde of zombies performs CPR on a hapless victim. Okay then.

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Top Five

Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Love Stories. Go!

Note: "Love story" can mean romantic love, platonic love, familial love, the love between a mentor and protégé, the love between an animal and its human guardian, etc. True love stories, fictional love stories—whatever you want.

Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.

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Middle of the Road Mitt

Mitt Romney made up of an Etch-a-Sketch, Magic 8-Ball, and flip-flips

So, since the debate last week, during which Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney lied his face off and "reinvented" himself by running away from virtually every position he'd been espousing for the last two years, I have seen a steady stream of headlines about how Romney positioned himself as "centrist," or a "moderate," or some variation thereof.

"Mitt's Middle of the Road Makeover" is a typical headline, seen at CNN.

The middle of what road? Plutocrat Boulevard? At the intersection of Extremist Throughway?

This is a laughable narrative. Even Romney's so-called reinvention leaves him firmly right of center—a center that has been moved so far right already that a sitting Democratic president will no longer even mention reproductive rights in his convention speech or at the domestic policy debate; a center so far right that waging an extralegal war with drones is considered the reasonable foreign policy position; a center so far right that no one bats an eye when the right-of-center candidate asserts he doesn't believe people are entitled to food.

There is no functional leftwing in United States governance. That doesn't mean Mitt Romney is a centrist.

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News from Shakes Manor

image of Keanu Reeve as Neo in The Matrix Revolutions fighting Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith, with a million Agent Smiths in the background

This weekend, while Iain and I were watching The Matrix Revolutions...

Me: That's what my life feels like—just an epic battle against an endless army of identical agents of the patriarchy.

Iain: [laughs out loud]

Me: And I don't even have a cool jacket.

Iain: [laughs] Aw, babe. Your jacket's all right.

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Open Thread

image

Hosted by Ted.

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Sunday Shuffle

Murray Gold & BBC National Orchestra of Wales; Doctor Who Theme

How about you?

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Open Thread

Hosted by that Great Long-Legged Scissor Man. This week's open threads have been hosted by Bogeymen. It's October! Happy Halloween Month!

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Open Thread

Hosted by the Phantom Diver.

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The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Eight-Year Saloon'
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!


And don't forget to tip your bartender!



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What Are the Rest of Us Doing With Our Lives?!

What—did you think James Franco wasn't going to take time off from doing every single other thing ever, all of them, ALL OF THE THINGS, to direct a short film (which is definitely a commercial, but fancier) for shoe designer Stuart Weitzman? You're so weird.

Of course he is.

Actor James Franco has taken another twist in his unconventional career — directing a short film for shoe designer Stuart Weitzman.

Four vignettes, which will debut on the brand's Facebook page, follow model Petra Nemcova as she takes what the company describes as "a midnight fantasy stroll."

The inspiration came from the 1988 underground club-scene movie "Mondo New York," and Nemcova struts to an updated version of the Patsy Cline song, "Walking After Midnight."
The entire film won't be available until Oct. 26, but here is the first installment, because James Franco.


Video: Petra Nemcova, a tall, thin, white, young woman, walks down an urban sidewalk at night, wearing hot shoes. She walks into a gallery. She runs. Cuts of her feet, upper body, inside, outside, walking, running are spliced together. The end.

Genius. Give it all the CLIOs. Or at least let James Franco host the CLIOs with Anne Hathaway. That's the least we can do for James Franco AS A SOCIETY.

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Photo of the Day

image of Mitt Romney onstage with four of his sons, who are applauding him
Surrounded by four of his five sons, Romney makes a surprise appearance at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Denver. [Melina Mara/The Washington Post]
This just totally sums up the Romney campaign for me—Mitt Romney with four doppelgangers standing around telling him how awesome he is. It's no wonder Mitt Romney thinks the whole world is exactly like him.

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Friday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by Star Wars action figures.

Recommended Reading:

Aura: Chipotle Agrees to Respect Farmworkers

Michelle: About That Video [Content Note: Fat bias.]

George: Behold the Tomb of Lady K'abel

Rebecca: Are You Kidding Me Right Now? Woman Didn't Get Job Because "Lead Actor Hates Female Directors"

Indian Homemaker: Do you think Indian parents who do not want to have daughters would make good parents of sons? [Content Note: Violent misogyny.]

Mike: Securitization of Mortgages Worked So Well, Why Not Securitization of Rents

Andy: Baltimore Ravens Center Matt Birk Appears in Heinous Ad Opposing Marriage Equality in Maryland

Jody: Youth Rising [Content Note: Oppression; ableism; racism.]

Angry Asian Man: Red Dawn Clip: The Evil Asians Are Coming to Get Ya

Echidne: Today's Funny Picture [Content Note: Misogyny.]

Vanessa: Wonder Woman Should Be President

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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Daily Dose of Cute

a square of four photos of Zelda the Black-and-Tan Mutt grinning

Happy Dog is happy.

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Happy Blogiversary to Us!

Today is Shakesville's eighth blogiversary. Eight years! In blog years, that's like A MILLION!

This morning, I read this interview with Mark Zuckerberg about Facebook having acquired a billion users, and he said something I found quite moving: "It feels like an honor. We get the honor of building things that a billion people use. I mean, there's no core need. It isn't a core human need to use Facebook. It's a core human need to stay connected with the people you care about. The need to open up and connect is such a deep part of what makes us human. Being in a position where we are the company—or one of the companies—that can play a role in delivering that service is just this … it's an honor."

I relate to that, on a comparatively miniscule scale. There are other places to get news, better places. There are other feminist blogs, other LGBTQI news blogs, other fat acceptance blogs, other places that cover elections. A lot of blogs have come and gone in the eight years I've been doing this now, and it's remarkable to me that I am still here, with so many people who have joined me along the way. I feel really happy, really grateful, that Shakesville, the blog and/or the community here, means something to so many people.

Meaning something is actually the hardest part of this thing for me, to be honest. Partly because it is hard to see Shakesville from a perspective other than my own; partly because I'm frightened that if I truly understood what this space means to people who love it, the pressure of it would crush me. At a dinner with a bunch of old friends last week, someone joked that they were the most hated person at the table, and someone else exclaimed, "No one is more hated than Melissa! There are like millions of people who hate her!" And everyone laughed, including me. It's easier to deal with being hated.

But not long ago, I got an email from a young woman who'd just graduated from college. She told me she'd been reading Shakesville every day since she'd found her way here at age 16, and thanked me for being an important part of her journey to adulthood. I can't even wrap my head around that, but I'm really trying. It's a part of sticking around that you don't envision, when you start out and hope to be around awhile.

I'm honored to mean something to you.

This is the hardest and best job I've ever done. I am a better person than I was when I started. I know more about myself, both the good things and the things that need changing. I've made great friends, the greatest, and had expansively generous teachers, from whom I've learned more in this space than I ever could have imagined. I am forever changed because of Shakesville, and the people who visit or come to stay.

Onward to nine.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Urge Overkill: "Sister Havana"

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