Two Facts

1. David Brooks is still being employed by the New York Times to write a garbage column.

2. That column gets more ridiculous by the week.

As always, there is much to love laugh at in Brooks' latest, in which he imagines what Mitt Romney's opening statement of tomorrow night's debate should be, but I think this is probably my favorite part:

I've tried to be on the level with you. This president was audacious in 2008, but, as you can see from his negligible agenda, he's now exhausted. I'm not an inspiring conviction politician, but I'll try anything to help us succeed. You make the choice.
LOL OKAY! Decisions decisions. I choose the inspiring guy with conviction, rather than the guy who reeks of desperation and will "try anything."

Great argument for your cool candidate, Mr. Brooks! Solid as always.

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Daily Dose of Cute

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Mistress Elinor Gwynn approves of the flowers from her admiring public, and also of ye olde treat that I am holding.

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Headline of the Day

Congressman Who Compared Cigarettes to Smoking Lettuce Becomes Lobbyist for R.J. Reynolds. Perfect.

Obviously, everything about this story is great, including its inherent commentary on how the US' representative democracy was replaced by a corporatocracy and no one seems to have noticed, but I particularly like this quote:

"To be an agent of change you can do it from the outside and attack tobacco manufacturers like many anti-tobacco organizations do or you can do it from the inside," [said Steve Buyer, former 18-year Republican member of Congress from Indiana]. "I have chosen to be an agent of change from the inside."
He's basically a superhero.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



The Cramps: "Tear It Up"

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Photo of the Day

image of a small black boy being raised above a crowd at a campaign event so he can shake hands with President Obama
From the Telegraph's Pictures of the Day for 1 October 2012: A boy reaches out to shake hands with US President Barack Obama at a campaign event at Desert Pines High School in Las Vegas, Nevada. [Reuters/Kevin Lamarque]
I love everything about this picture. Everything.

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Take Note, George Will

[Content Note: Misogyny.]

Here is another reason, though also related to his lack of empathy, that Mitt Romney is currently trailing in the polls: White women without a college degree are increasingly favorably disposed toward Obama in the battleground states.

Gee, it's almost as if staking out the position that women should have no control over their reproduction, and defending that position with narratives like "women are lying bitchez about rape, anyway," as if women are a dispensable voting bloc and not 52% of the population, is a bad idea. Huh. Who knew.

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Banned Books Week 2012

Sunday marked the start of Banned Book Week for this year!

Bans and challenges happen every year at public libraries and in public school libraries and classrooms, including this recent one:

A novel one Nampa parent said had “an immense amount of pornography” has been removed from sophomore English classes at Nampa High School.

Nampa School Board Chairman Scott Kido said he received 15 emails Sunday night complaining about the book “Like Water for Chocolate” by Laura Esquivel.

[...]

A parent emailed school board members about the book and wrote that “The families who have already refused to let their children read this vile piece of work were told to pick an alternate book, even though all class discussion and assignments will be directed toward (the book). Let’s not set kids up for failure because they have moral standards.”

The parent quoted 13 passages from the book in her email to demonstrate her point.

The book was chosen by last year’s English Department chair, Nampa Schools spokeswoman Allison Westfall said. Ninth grade curriculum includes world literature, which is why the book was chosen, she said.
Like Water For Chocolate is not on this year's Top Ten list--and perennial banning-favorite, And Tango Makes Three, didn't make the list, either.

The Top Ten for 2011 were:

1. ttyl; ttfn; l8r, g8r (series), by Lauren Myracle
Reasons: offensive language; religious viewpoint; sexually explicit; unsuited to age group

2. The Color of Earth (series), by Kim Dong Hwa
Reasons: nudity; sex education; sexually explicit; unsuited to age group

3. The Hunger Games trilogy, by Suzanne Collins
Reasons: anti-ethnic; anti-family; insensitivity; offensive language; occult/satanic; violence

4. My Mom's Having A Baby! A Kid's Month-by-Month Guide to Pregnancy, by Dori Hillestad Butler
Reasons: nudity; sex education; sexually explicit; unsuited to age group

5. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie
Reasons: offensive language; racism; religious viewpoint; sexually explicit; unsuited to age group

6. Alice (series), by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Reasons: nudity; offensive language; religious viewpoint

7. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
Reasons: insensitivity; nudity; racism; religious viewpoint; sexually explicit

8. What My Mother Doesn't Know, by Sonya Sones
Reasons: nudity; offensive language; sexually explicit

9. Gossip Girl (series), by Cecily Von Ziegesar
Reasons: drugs; offensive language; sexually explicit

10. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
Reasons: offensive language; racism


Related: Banned Books Week 2011, Banned Books Week 2010, Banned Books Week 2006, "No, God hates morons!"*, Harry Potter and the Half-Brained Dumbass, But What About My Needs?, A Novel Approach, and march of the dumbasses

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Solid Reasoning from a Well-Known Genius

[Content Note: Racism.]

Professional grumpy conservative George Will uses his latest column to express his mystification that Mitt Romney is losing. President Obama, he observes, is a terrible president presiding over a terrible economy:

Romney and his advisers must be bewildered by this fact: In October 2011 they would have been serenely confident of victory if they had been told that 12 months later the following would be true.

That President Obama would be waist deep in muddy and contradictory descriptions and explanations of the terrorist (he now concedes) attack on the U.S. diplomatic compound in Libya. That data just released for August 2012 showed that real disposable income had again declined. That Obama would actually celebrate the fact that, for the first month since he took office, there were more U.S. jobs than when he took office. That the most recent figures show a 13.2 percent decline in durable goods orders. That nearly 25 percent — the highest in three decades — of Americans between ages 25 and 55 are unemployed. That the second-quarter growth rate was adjusted down from an anemic 1.7 percent to the stall speed of 1.3 percent.

...Obama's administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering politically.
Not all of that is totally accurate or fair, but, in broad terms, I won't argue with the fact that President Obama hasn't been as aggressive enough in his economic policy. Of course, I think he hasn't been, and refuses to be, aggressively progressive enough, even leaving Republican obstructionism aside, but potato potahto. Point is, the economy still stinks.

So why is it then, George Will wonders, that USians aren't willing to throw Obama out on his ass and vote in Mitt Romney? The evident answer is because no matter how bad one might think Obama is, anyone who isn't a free-market, no-tax, let-them-eat-bootstraps conservative readily acknowledges that Mitt Romney is even worse.

But George Will has a different theory:
A significant date in the nation's civil rights progress involved an African American baseball player named Robinson, but not Jackie. The date was Oct. 3, 1974, when Frank Robinson, one the greatest players in history, was hired by the Cleveland Indians as the major leagues' first black manager. But an even more important milestone of progress occurred June 19, 1977, when the Indians fired him. That was colorblind equality.

Managers get fired all the time. The fact that the Indians felt free to fire Robinson — who went on to have a distinguished career managing four other teams — showed that another racial barrier had fallen: Henceforth, African Americans, too, could enjoy the God-given right to be scapegoats for impatient team owners or incompetent team executives.

Perhaps a pleasant paradox defines this political season: That Obama is African American may be important, but in a way quite unlike that darkly suggested by, for example, MSNBC's excitable boys and girls who, with their (at most) one-track minds and exquisitely sensitive olfactory receptors, sniff racism in any criticism of their pin-up. Instead, the nation, which is generally reluctant to declare a president a failure — thereby admitting that it made a mistake in choosing him — seems especially reluctant to give up on the first African American president. If so, the 2012 election speaks well of the nation's heart, if not its head.
I don't even know where to begin with that. I mean, in the year of our lord Jesus Jones two thousand and twelve, this guy still thinks "colorblind equality" is a laudable objective. (And still thinks wordplay like "darkly suggested" is clever.) So the context of this theory must include the decrepit brainpan of fetid ideas whence it emanated.

But this shit got published in the Washington Post. So its context is also one of credibility and presumed wisdom. Yikes.

Yikes—because what George Will is saying here is ugly and wrong. During the last election, liberals only voted for Obama because he is black and we wanted to make history, and now we are only voting for Obama because he is black so we're holding him to a lower standard.

Which would be a shitty assertion even if it were not easily seen to be demonstrably wrong. We are "especially reluctant to give up on" President Obama? Excuse me? As compared to what—the previous two-term president who, after his first term, was already known to be a wanton warmonger who cooked a case for war, had no exit strategies for either of the wars he started, demonized dissenters as traitors to their nation, supported torture, undermined the international rule of law, thumbed his nose at domestic law, expanded the powers of the executive branch in contravention of the people's will, oversaw a congressional majority rife with corruption and unchecked spending, eschewed any and all accountability, demonized marginalized peoples, and was a comprehensive failure in just about every aspect of his presidency, yet squeaked out a victory to get a second term?

Really, George Will? Compared to George W. Bush, the president no one in the party you support, including your current nominee, will name for fear of being tainted with the lingering odor of his catastrophic presidency, was someone USians were less reluctant to abandon after one term than Barack H. Obama, who inherited Bush's garbage economy and nightmare disaster foreign policy decisions, and whose biggest failure is failing to be sufficiently progressive to unhesitatingly consign his predecessor's every policy to the dustbin of American history?

Get a grip.

If the reason that President Obama is leading has anything to do with the color of his skin, it is this: Being a black man in the United States of America is to be part of a marginalized community, and to be part of a marginalized community generally necessitates and creates a level of empathy that being an undilutedly privileged person does not.

Lots of people, even people who support him, see in Mitt Romney something that tends to be described as "robotic" or "cold" or even "sociopathic." What they are seeing is a lack of empathy.

And in a nation where so many people are struggling, so many are hurting and desperate and disillusioned, feeling like their president gives a shit is not a small thing.

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In The News

[Content note: misogyny, homophobia, gun culture]

All The News In Fits and Spurts:

A judge postponed Pennsylvania's horrible and racist voter identification requirement today, ordering the state not to enforce it in this year's presidential election. Instead, the law will go into full effect next year.

God has put Romney behind in the polls to later make a miracle of his win in November. So says Glenn Beck. Sure. Why not.

IKEA literally erased women from the Saudi Arabia version of its catalog. The company is now expressing some regret over this getting lots of press.

Thank Christ. Or whomever. NBC's reboot of The Munsters will likely not be going into production.

On October 10, the Discovery Channel will air a special on gun culture in America starring noted douchebag Ted Nugent. Sad face. Still, though, I bet it won't be as bad as Mythbusters.

Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta are reuniting for a Christmas album. Weird. The album will feature guest spots by Barbra Streisand, Kenny G, Cliff Richard, Tony Bennett, James Taylor and Chick Corea.

Mystery illness solved when an Oregon family discovers their new home was once a meth lab. Ack!

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy has written new guidelines, stating the organization opposes reparative or conversion therapy.

Video: Corey Haim shreds up that Japanese-style funk on his bad-ass Roland synth!

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New Adele

So, everyone who loves Adele (and that's everyone, right?) knows that Adele is singing the new Bond theme, yes? Well, a snippet of the Skyfall theme just found its way to the tubes, and—surprise!—it's amazing.


New Adele. OMG. Swoon.

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Important Election News

photoshopped

You know you are a child of the '80s when you can't look at the Republican ticket without seeing Mr. Drummond and Alex P. Keaton.

If I were slightly older, I imagine I'd see Thurston Howell III and Peter Brady.

Btw, Mr. Drummond was played by Conrad Bain. Coincidence?! I think not.

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Memories!

Care of Deeky, with help from Shaker blue_eyed_raven, a great moment in presidential debating, from one of the debates between then-President George W. Bush and Senator John Kerry during the 2004 election:

Bush: I own a timber company? [pause; laughter] That's news to me, heh heh. [laughter; lengthy pause] Need some wood? Heh heh. [laughter]
It might have been news to him, but it was true. At the time, FactCheck.org reported: "President Bush himself would have qualified as a 'small business owner' under the Republican definition, based on his 2001 federal income tax returns. He reported $84 of business income from his part ownership of a timber-growing enterprise... The Lone Star Trust currently owns 50% of another company, LSTF, LLC, described on Bush's 2003 financial disclosure forms as a limited-liability company organized 'for the purpose of the production of trees for commercial sales.'"

President for eight years, ladies, gentlemen, and gender rebels. Yikes.

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Open Thread

Hosted by Oogie Boogie.

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Question of the Day

When was the last time you made a fool of yourself in a fun way?

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Quote of the Day

[Content Note: Racism.]

"Life isn't always fair. ... We're not here about equal results. We're here about equal opportunity. Look, an awful lot of kids were a lot smarter than me in school. That's just the way it was. There's nothing you can do about that."—New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, in response to a question about a complaint brought by the NAACP over admission rates to NYC's elite high schools.

Among the schools in the NAACP complaint is Manhattan's Stuyvesant High School, where just 1% of students are black. The civil rights group says the exam discriminates against black and Latino students because they're denied admission "at rates far higher than other racial groups."

Nearly 31% of white students and 35% of Asian students who take the exam get into one of the top schools. That's compared to 7% for Latinos and 5% for blacks.

In his defense of the admissions process, the billionaire mayor said he has no interest in seeing it change.

"These are the schools designed for the best and the brightest," he said.

"There's nothing subjective about this," Bloomberg added. "You pass the test, you get the highest score, you get into the school, no matter what your ethnicity, no matter what your economic background is. That's been the tradition in these schools since they were founded and it's going to continue to be."
Because life isn't fair, but standardized tests are.

Insert every single smart thing ever written about privilege and standardized tests, and every single smart thing ever written about reducing students to a fucking test score. All of the things. Ever.

[H/T to @djolder, via @angryblackwomen.]

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News from Shakes Manor

There are two things you need to know about Iain:

1. He loves Olive Garden. No—it is not because he does not know what authentic Italian food tastes like. Italy is one of his favorite places, and to say he appreciates Italian cuisine and wine and bread is an understatement. He loves them. And he doesn't mistake Olive Garden for authentic Italian food. The reason he loves Olive Garden is not exclusively (or even primarily) the food. There's a whole ratings system based on price-point, wine selection, brand consistency, experience, and deliciousness, among other things, and he will happily give you the entire dissertation over some Zuppa Toscana, if you are interested.

2. He hates Regis Philbin. Not a little. A LOT.

image of a meter with Regis Philbin on one side and the Olive Garden logo on the other

Above: The Iain Meter of Awesome Things, ranging from NOT AWESOME (Regis Philbin) to VERY AWESOME (Olive Garden).


Iain has a reputation for both of these things. Friends come into town with coupons for Olive Garden. He gets Olive Garden gift cards for his birthday. And whenever Regis Philbin is in the news, his Facebook wall lights up with links.

Last week, we were sitting in another doctor's office, as I waited anxiously to see yet another doctor and get back the results of another round of tests. Iain has accompanied me to as many appointments as he can, even though I tell him he doesn't need to and even though he knows that. He wants to be there, and although I am eminently capable of seeing a doctor on my own, it's nice to have the support. Nice, like Iain thinks Italian food is nice.

Anyway, it was another interminable wait, and we were playing Top Five and other silly conversational games to pass the time. I asked him: "Babe, what would you do if Olive Garden hired Regis Philbin as a spokesperson?"

He drew in a long breath and contemplated the question with knitted brow. Eventually, he gave me his serious reply: "I would still eat at Olive Garden and I would still hate Regis Philbin." Another thing to know about Iain is that he is loyal.

I put my head on his shoulder and laughed and laughed.

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Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by irises.

Recommended Reading:

Jill: Looking at Cute Animals on the Internet Improves Work Performance [For bookmarking, in case you ever get busted at work looking at the Daily Dose of Cute, obvs.]

Eric: Rampage Nation: When a Gun Massacre Isn't Even Big News [Content Note: Gun violence.]

Andy: 'Dark Knight Rises' Shooting Survivor Demands a Plan from Romney and Obama on Gun Violence

Sady: On Falling Apart [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of involuntary hospitalization for mental illness.]

moyazb: On Anger [Content Note: The post at this link contains descriptions of racism and racist acts.]

David: Signposts of Democracy: How Americans Get Taught About the Political System They Have

Nicole: Suffrage Day Post: Māori Women and Democracy—A Short History

Jorge: California Approves Driver's Licenses for Young Undocumented Immigrants

Resistance: Asian American Women Are a Growing Presence on Police Forces

Taegan: Why Bankers Hate Obama

Theodoric: What We Still Don't Know About Mitt Romney's Taxes

Miss Cellania: Hominid [video; please note the video contains animated insect-like creepies, so avoid if that kind of stuff bugs you (pun intended).]

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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Random Kiefer

Transcript:

Voice Off-Camera: Hey, Kiefer. You're a pirate, man.

Kiefer: That would explain everything. [jumps into Christmas tree]
Still and forever my favorite video on the entire internetz.

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In The News

[Content note: homophobia, mental illness]

All The News In Fits and Spurts:

Five weeks to Election Day, President Barack Obama is within reach of the 270 electoral votes needed to win a second term. Republican Mitt Romney's path to victory is narrowing. No doy.

But! Chris Christie is predicting this week's debate in Denver will be a game changer for Mitt Romney. "Wednesday night's the restart of this campaign." Again? How many restarts does Romney need? Good lord, this campaign.

In the meantime, Mitt Romney vows to take on non-existent Lyme disease epidemic in Virginia.

TruFact™: Anal eroticism plays a significant role in the psychogenesis of paranoia and conspiracy theorizing in the Tea Party. Way to ruin anal eroticism for everyone, Tea Partiers!

The most dangerous city in America is disbanding its unionized police force in order to hire cheaper, non-union cops.

Apple was recently granted a patent enabling the company to wirelessly disable the camera function on specific iPhones in certain locations, such as protests or political conventions and gatherings. I am beginning to think these guys are a bunch of douchebags.

General Motors is recalling more than 40,000 vehicles, citing concerns that a fuel pump module could crack and cause a fire in the event of a fuel leak.

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the compact disc. It's been three decades since the first CD (Billy Joel's 52nd Street) went on sale in Japan.

The Pet Shop Boys released the video for their new single "Leaving" this morning. Watch it here.

Why I hate sports, part 9,467,863,218: NFL's Matt Birk is a homophobic bigot. Gross.

The Christian Institute in Britain says there aren't enough gays in the UK, so there's no point in granting them equality. The obvious solution: More gays!

Austin became the first city in Texas to endorse marriage equality, with a unanimous vote by the City Council Thursday. The vote was purely symbolic.

Maine's referendum on marriage equality leads 57 percent to 36 percent in recent polling, with 7 percent saying they are undecided. Yay!

In Maryland marriage equality is now favored by likely voters, 49 percent to 39 percent. Yay!

The National Center for Transgender Equality has released a series of public service announcements outlining how transgender Americans can protect their right to vote this Election Day. The PSAs, part of NCTE's "Voting While Trans" public awareness campaign, aim to educate and prepare transgender people for how to vote in their state.

Seth MacFarlane will be hosting the Academy Awards next year. Gross.

Researchers in Australia reported a correlation between a poorer sense of smell and psychopathic personality traits. So, I guess maybe I could be a psychopath. You've been warned!

These Vivienne Westwood silver penis cufflinks would make a great gift. I only mention it because I have a birthday coming up.

Here is the Leatherman from the Village People performing "Danny Boy." Obviously.

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Important Announcement

[Content Note: Cartoonish violence.]

I have a zit on the side of my nose underneath my glasses.

If you are not a specs-wearing person, let me explain what this means for you: It means I want to punch my own head off just to experience momentarily relief from the most annoying pain on the planet.

There are worse pains. But there are none more annoying.

Look it up. It's science.

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