Olivia helps Iain finish his glass of milk last night.
Get Ready, Everyone!
Presidential debates can often be pretty dry affairs. Sure, you get the occasional memorable moment in great president-debating like "Need some wood?" (how the eff is that not on YouTube?), but mostly it's just a bunch of boring boringpantses regurgitating their boring focus-group tested answers to boring questions about boring stuff like whether they will protect, or totally demolish into tiny wee little unreconstitutable pieces of sadness, programs like Social Security.
BUT NOT THIS YEAR! Not if Willard "Mitt" Romney has anything to say about it!
In a conference room at the Democratic headquarters, President Obama has been preparing for the debate next week, but the reviews of his staff are already in. Too long, they tell him. Cut that answer. Give crisper explanations. No one wants a professor; they want a president.Zingers! Cool! I love zingers. Who doesn't love zingers? They're so zingy!
Hundreds of miles away in New England, Mitt Romney's team has been working to make sure he avoids coming off as a scold. His sparring partner, Senator Rob Portman of Ohio, channeling Mr. Obama, has gone after him repeatedly, to the point of being nasty. The goal is to get Mr. Romney agitated and then teach him how to keep his composure, look presidential.
...Mr. Romney's team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.
And if I know anything about zingers, the one way to make them really zing is by rehearsing them for months.
That makes them sound EXTRA spontaneous!
I wonder if Team Romney has considered filing a request to relocate the debate to Skadoodlies Komedy Klub? That would make it super presidential and shit.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
[Content Note: Detailed discussion of domestic violence, including descriptions of what constitutes domestic violence.]
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Domestic violence occurs within every class, age group, race, and religion. It happens in families, friendships, and intimate relationships. Intimate partner violence happens within same and different sex partnerships; it happens whether people are married, living together, or dating. Approximately one in four women has been a victim of domestic violence. Too often society--like with rape--places the blame on the victim and not the perpetrator. We need to change that.
What is it?*
Physical Abuse It isn't "only" hitting, slapping, choking, shoving. It also is using the body to intimidate. Physical abuse is also causing fear and intimidation via punching holes in walls/doors and throwing objects. It is intentionally scaring a partner by driving unsafely. It is preventing a partner from leaving their home.
Sexual Abuse When a person submits to sexual acts out of fear or coercion, it is rape. Capitulation does not equal consent. If a partner must "give in" because of fear of the consequences of saying no: that is part of sexual abuse. Remember: You always, ALWAYS, have a right to say no. Married or not. "Been a long time" or not. Always and without fear. Intimate partner reproductive coercion and birth control sabotage are aspects of sexual abuse.
Emotional Abuse It is real--not being hit or raped doesn't mean not being abused. Emotional abusers isolate their victims. Emotional abusers will use emotional blackmail, guilt, and shame to get victims to stay and may threaten suicide if they leave. They verbally assault with name-calling, mockery, public & private humiliation, and threats. They may expect their partners to ask their "permission" to do things. Emotional abusers can also be ones who constantly "know what's best" and blows up/rages if their partner doesn't submit to their "advice" (control). Economic abuse is a sub-category of emotional abuse: abusers use the finances to exert control over their partners.
***
Did you know? (.pdf)
* Young people age 12 to 19 experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault, and people age 18 and 19 experience the highest rates of stalking.If you parent, work with, or otherwise have a relationship with young people: please talk to them about healthy relationships and domestic violence. If you are a parent (or otherwise similarly involved with a young person), don't just have talks about sex--have them about relationships and how to engage in healthy ones.
* Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.
* In a national online survey, one in five tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. Two in five of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships.
* Nationwide, nearly one in ten high-school students (9.8 percent) has been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
* Teens in same-sex relationships experience rates of violence and abuse similar to rates experienced by teens in heterosexual relationships. Data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health finds that nearly one in four teens and young adults (ages 12-21 years) in same-sex romantic or sexual relationships reported some type of partner violence victimization in the past year-and-a-half. One in ten reported experiencing physical violence by a dating partner.
* One in three teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped or physically hurt by a partner.
***
Resources
If you are in an abusive situation (physical or not) you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (US & Canada): 1-800-799-SAFE or see their site (they have a great list of resources on their site, as well)
RAINN is a particular resource for those who are being sexually abused: 1.800.656.HOPE or see their site.
The Power and Control Wheel (.pdf) and the Equality Wheel (.pdf) (via)
Futures Without Violence
Know More. Say More.
No More.
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*Not intended to be a comprehensive listing
Photo of the Day
Not president of only 53%, or of the 1%. President of everybody.
Tweeted by @BarackObama, this morning, with the accompanying message: "Thank you for all you've done for this campaign, and all you'll do in the next 36 days to win this."
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Best Sci-Fi Television Series. Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Today in Paul Ryan Is Terrible
Over the weekend, Republican vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan appeared on Fox News Sunday, where Chris Wallace lobbed him some softballs so he could appear competent and decent in front of his foolish base. A simple test, which he nonetheless managed to fail:
Wallace: You're the master of he budget, so, briefly, let's go through the plan. The Obama camp says, independent groups say, that you cut those tax rates for everybody, 20%, it costs five trillion dollars over ten years. True?All of that is total bullshit. Rambling, desperate, nonsensical, mendacious bullshit.
Ryan: Nah, it isn't in the least bit true! Look, this just goes to show if you torture statistics enough, they'll confess to what you want them to confess to. That study has been so thoroughly discredited; it wasn't even a measure of Mitt Romney's policy. Here's what we're saying—
Wallace: So how much would it cost?
Ryan: It's revenue neutral…
[crosstalk]
Wallace: No no, I'm just talking about cuts, and, we'll get to the deductions, but the cut in tax rates.
Ryan: The cut in tax rates is lower all Americans' tax rates by 20%.
Wallace: Right, how much does that cost?
Ryan: It's revenue neutral.
Wallace: It's not revenue neutral unless you take away the deductions. [crosstalk] No, we're gonna get to that in a second. The first path, lowering the tax rates—does that cost five trillion dollars?
Ryan: No, no—look, I won't get into a baseline argument with you, 'cuz that's what a lot of this is about... We're saying: Limited deductions, so you can lower tax rates for everybody, start with people at the higher end— Here's the way it works: I've been on the Ways and Means Committee for twelve years. Both parties—Republicans and Democrats—have junked up the tax code with so many giveaways and so much special interest tax breaks [sniff]— What we're saying is: You keep your money in your pocketbook and your business and your family in the first place. The way it works today is: You give more of your money to Washington, and then if you do what Washington approves of, you can have some of it back. We're saying: Keep it in the first place. And every time we've done this, whether it was Ronald Reagan working with Tip O'Neill— The ideas from the Bowles-Simpson Commission on how to do this— There's been a traditional Democrat and Republican consensus— Lowering tax rates by broadening the tax base works. And you can—
Wallace: But I have to point out, you haven't given me the math.
Ryan: No, but you— Well, [chuckles] I don't have the time. It would take me too long to go through all of the math. But let me say it this way: You can lower tax rates by 20% across the board by closing loopholes and still have preferences for the middle class. For things like charitable deductions, for home purchases, for health care. So what we're saying is: People are going to get lower tax rates, and therefore they will not send as much money to Washington, and they'll keep it and decide for themselves. When we've done this, we've created economic growth.
Chris Wallace could give Paul Ryan fully one hundred hours to "go through all of the math," and he wouldn't be able to do it, because the issue is not, despite his hilarious claim, a lack of time, but a lack of coherent policy.
I cannot believe there's a chance this dildobrain and his dipshit running mate have a real chance at becoming the next leaders of the United States. Maude help us.
Seen
Yesterday at the grocery store: The tiniest little boy, probably three years old, sitting in the top of the grocery cart, his arms flung wide, singing Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" at the top of his lungs while his mom strolled nonchalantly through the produce section.
"I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the eeeeeedge...!"
It was basically the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Video Description: The official video for Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" track.
Open Thread
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
And don't forget to tip your bartender!
Photo of the Day
Memorial Sculpture to a Greyhound named Isabel.
I came across this image while looking for something else entirely earlier today, and I thought it was just so beautiful. It's a stainless steel sculpture done by an artist named Chris Williams, who specializes in large, custom-made sculptures of animals.
Of the above pictured memorial, he says: "Another Memorial piece, this Greyhound was made for a couple living in Kennebunkport ME. After losing their dog Isabel to natural causes, the couple decided to mark the burial site with a lasting memory of her spirit and endless energy. This piece was done using stainless steel so the color will remain through the tough elements of New England. The overlapping style was something new for me. I wanted to show off the muscles and yet still keep the piece looking light and playful."
Love. Love love love.
It captures one of my favorite greyhound gestures so perfectly (see Dudley here at 2:05). Amazing.
And Now, from the GOP's Incense-Burning Division
[Content note: this post contains reference to anti-gay bigotry, misogyny, sexual abuse, religious discrimination, and Christian Dominionism.]
Roman Catholic Bishop Thomas John Paprocki, of Springfield, Illinois, doesn't want to tell you who to vote for. Nope. He just wants you to know that the Democrats' platform is full of "intrinsic evil," but the GOP's is basically okay. Gee, thanks Your Excellency! Thanks for totally telling your diocese how to vote not telling anybody how to vote, but letting Catholics know they will PROBABLY GO TO HELL if they vote for Democrats. How nonpartisan!:
"There are many positive and beneficial planks in the Democratic Party Platform, but I am pointing out those that explicitly endorse intrinsic evils," the bishop explained. "My job is not to tell you for whom you should vote. But I do have a duty to speak out on moral issues..."Definitely! Addressing the needs of the poor by trying to feed and clothe those most in need and trying to create jobs for them vs. letting them fend for themselves in the Randian world of Romney-Ryan, where they will be armed with only their bootstraps, a pocket knife, and some pocket lint? Those are definitely just "different methods" to handle "the needs of the poor."
"So what about the Republicans? I have read the Republican Party Platform and there is nothing in it that supports or promotes an intrinsic evil or a serious sin," Paprocki added. "One might argue for different methods in the platform to address the needs of the poor, to feed the hungry and to solve the challenges of immigration, but these are prudential judgments about the most effective means of achieving morally desirable ends, not intrinsic evils."
But the bishop is certainly NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO VOTE! Just what kind of vote will condemn your eternal soul:
"Again, I am not telling you which party or which candidates to vote for or against," he concluded, "but I am saying that you need to think and pray very carefully about your vote, because a vote for a candidate who promotes actions or behaviors that are intrinsically evil and gravely sinful makes you morally complicit and places the eternal salvation of your own soul in serious jeopardy."Apparently the Right Reverend Bishop is under the impression that his flock is made up of especially sleepy tree sloths, because to anyone even slightly more discerning, it's clear he is, in fact, telling them EXACTLY how to vote.
Three points:
1. For perspective, Saprocki also has no problem with racial/religious profiling in airports and as part of immigration policy, as long as it is aimed at Muslims.
So: gay marriage = bad, discrimination against minorities = okay. (Extra irony points for fearmongering about a religious takeover of the United States! We wouldn't want that, now would we?)
2. Saprocki once suggested that survivors of sexual abuse who sued the Church were in league with the Devil.
So: survivors of sexual abuse = Devil abettors, slashers of the social safety network = just doing God's work in a different way. Cool! Very cool cosmology ya got there!
3. After making such garbage-brained discriminatory remarks, Saprocki was elevated to lead the Diocese of Springfield anyway.
The Vatican has made it pretty clear what sort of person it wants to see leading the Church as its "authentic teachers." They are men who are perfectly comfortable defending the priorities of the GOP plutocrats. I just wonder how they reconcile that with the priorities of the dirty hippy construction worker they claim to follow.
Today in Solid Resources
Video Description: A classic family tree with parallel/perpendicular lines indicating relationships between people represented by "100% authentic and recognized" headshots, detailing the Skywalker family history, set to pieces of John Williams' iconic Star Wars score.
[H/T to Iain.]
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by the smell of freshly cut grass.
Recommended Reading:
Andy: DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano to Issue Written Guidance on Immigration Deportation Cases: 'Family Relationships' Include Same-Sex Partners
Krysten: Hundreds Rally for NYPD Accountability & Community Safety
Michelle: Fat People and Binge Eating [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of fat bias, stereotypes, and disordered eating.]
Melissa: Men Directed 85% of TV Shows Last Season
Renee: Dolce & Gabbana's Racist Earrings [Content Note: The post at this link includes racist imagery and racist apologia.]
Christine: Uruguayan House of Representatives Allows Abortion up to 12 Weeks, but Imposes Other Barriers
Julianne: Hollywood Takes Up School Reform's Latest Agenda in Won't Back Down
Atrios: Of Course
Spooky: The Real Starry Night—Astronomy Student Recreates Van Gogh's Painting Using Hubble's Deep Space Images
[Content Note: Death] To my neighbors in the Chicagoland area who may have been following the news about missing Northwestern student Harsha Maddula, I have sad news: Maddula's body has been found in Wilmette Harbor. Blub.
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
The Parks and Rec Open Thread
[Content Note: Fat hatred; body policing; food policing.]
There is no way to soft-pedal it (nor would I try, anyway): Last night's episode of Parks and Recreation was terrible.
It was terrible because it was fat-hating; because it erroneously treated taxes on soda as a public health issue, which is wrong for all the reasons about which I've written previously; because it actually oh my god included images of headless fatties right in the episode.
It was terrible because the heart of Parks and Recreation, what makes it great, is its kindness. And last night's episode was profoundly unkind.
It was terrible because, in this episode that took aim at fat people, that promoted eliminationist and dehumanizing fat hatred underlying Othering narratives that kill, the fat female character Donna and the fat male character Jerry each appeared exactly once, briefly, as hidden in the episode as they could be short of not appearing at all, lest viewers accidentally be reminded that fat people are human beings who deserve to be treated with dignity.
I am very sad.
It's too bad Chris Traeger's moving epiphany that he needs to stop chasing external perfection was buried in such a garbage episode. Because that was really sweet. It was LITERALLY the best part of the episode.
Discuss.
Today in Rape Culture
[Content Note: Rape culture.]
US Weekly has a story about actress AnnaLynne McCord disclosing having been sexually assaulted during an appearance as an advocate against global slavery and human trafficking.
The very first sentence of that story? "AnnaLynne McCord is a survivor, not a victim."
Sigh.
(A sigh directed at US Weekly, not Ms. McCord.)
Because "victim" is such a loaded term—turned into a dirty word by people who have no patience with those who refuse to "get over it," or aren't "moving on" in what's arbitrarily deemed the "right" way or in the "right" amount of time—now every survivor of sexual violence is obliged to insist (or it will be insisted for hir) that zie is "not a victim."
And I understand wanting to distance oneself from that word, because it has come to mean someone oversensitive, someone broken, someone weak, someone who can't or won't get over it.
But rape is not a victimless crime.
It's no coincidence that it's rape apologists who have turned "victim" into a loaded term that no one wants to bear. If there are no "victims," then no one is being victimized by predators. There are only survivors of something that happened to them once upon a time.
Victim is a word rape apologists hate, because it evokes those who victimize in a way survivor does not. Victim doesn't play into narratives about how surviving rape makes women strong, turns them into superheroes even. Victim doesn't elide the powerlessness of having sexual violence done to your body.
Sexual violence is not victimless.
To call oneself a "victim," to identify as a victim, is received as an announcement of one's weakness, or a solicitation of pity. "Zie defines hirself as a victim," even other survivors will sniff derisively.
But in a time and space where we are discouraged from saying that we are victims, and in a time and space where most discussions of rape already protest and abet and graciously exclude rapists, to identify as a victim is a radical act of bravery.
Survivors have been victimized by predators.
I would not presume to tell anyone else how they should identify. I speak only for myself.
I am a victim, and I am a survivor.
Those are not mutually exclusive identities.
Daily Dose of Cute
Zelda, reminding me how easy it is to find contentment in a little bit of sun on your face while you sit beside someone you love.
