Shakesville

This Is Perfect and That Is Not Sarcasm

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

Rape jokes, which treat rape as a punchline and uphold the rape culture, are not funny. Rape culture jokes, on the other hand, which seek to expose the rape culture for the putrid garbage that it is, are pretty great. (Though they are not every survivor's cup of tea, so please note that the content may still be triggering and assess your capacity for processing carefully before viewing.)

Taylor Ferrera helpfully explains via song what constitutes "legitimate rape" and who are the best people to make such important judgments. "A lot of controversy over Todd Akin's comments on 'Legitimate Rape' and the miracles a woman's uterus can do when it happens. But how does the uterus KNOW when the rape is legitimate? Finally, someone with answers - Me."

[Lyrics here.]
Video Description: A young woman, Taylor Ferrera, sits in what looks like the corner of a bedroom with a guitar. She strums the guitar and sings: "How can you tell if it's legitimate rape? / I'll tell you how to spot legitimate rape. / You're not sure if you got legitimate raped? / Well here's a little lesson for you. / Tell me if the following things are true..."

Cut to Taylor in a different outfit, singing: "I was a little drunk." Cut back to Taylor 1, who sings: "Illegitimate rape!" Cut to Taylor in a different outfit, singing, "I knew the rapist well." Taylor 1: "Illegitimate rape!" Different outfit: "My skirt was kinda short." Taylor 1: "Illegitimate rape!" Different outfit: "I'm married to the man." Taylor 1: "That's a husband's privilege!" The last different outfit variation nods and smiles.

Taylor 1 continues: "How can you tell if it's legitimate rape? / I'll tell you how to spot legitimate rape. / You're not sure if you got legitimate raped? / Well here's a little lesson for you. / Tell me if the following things are true..."

Different outfit: "I let him take me out." Taylor 1: "Illegitimate rape!" Different outfit: "I said I was 18." Taylor 1: "Illegitimate rape!" Different outfit: "He didn't have consent." Taylor 1: "I'm sure your eyes were saying yes." Different outfit: "I'm pregnant from the rape." Taylor 1: "Clearly not legitimate!" The last different outfit variation narrows her eyes suspiciously.

Taylor 1 continues: "So now we all know what's legitimate rape. / We all know who to trust to tell us what's rape. / Republicans who've never experienced rape. / They're the ones I want to decide / That I should keep the baby growing inside. / Because abortion's always wrong. / Glad things are so black and white." She stops abruptly, looks annoyed, then raises a single eyebrow.

Photo of the Day

an image of a white woman from behind holding up a 'Montgomery County for Romney' sign; she is wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with annoyingly comma-spliced text reading: 'Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan'

Submitted without comment.

HA HA HA HA HA OMG

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

You know, I was just thinking that what this whole Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin story needed was for Todd Akin to accuse his critics of overreacting.

"I haven't done anything morally or ethically wrong. It does seem like a little bit of an overreaction."

Spoken like a true rape apologist.

It's funny how the legitimate/forcible/honest rape wing of the Republican Party—by which I mean: the entire party—would swear from here to Mitt's Moon Mansion and back that they aren't rape apologists, and yet they all sound exactly like the the same goddamn shit-stirring defenders of rape jokes and accused rapists who haunt the comments sections of every anti-rape advocate in the blogosphere.

Funny that.

Today in Mitt Romney Makes Promises

image of Mitt Romney speaking at a campaign event and looking angry, to which I have added a dialogue bubble reading: 'I promise you this, America: If you put the stewardship of this nation into my diabolical clutches, I will destroy it utterly.'

And that, my friends, is one promise that Mitt Romney will actually keep.

Sign Me Up!

Note: Do not sign me up.

[Image description: Ad pop-up reading: Get Mugged by Ann Coulter FREE with your subscription to Townhall Magazine.]

[Cross-posted.]

Rep. Steve King Shows His Ass

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

This would be unbelievable, except for how it's totally, hilariously, depressingly, rage-makingly believable:

Rep. Steve King, one of the most staunchly conservative members of the House, was one of the few Republicans who did not strongly condemn Rep. Todd Akin Monday for his remarks regarding pregnancy and rape. King also signaled why — he might agree with parts of Akin's assertion.

King told an Iowa reporter he's never heard of a child getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest.

"Well I just haven't heard of that being a circumstance that's been brought to me in any personal way," King told KMEG-TV Monday, "and I'd be open to discussion about that subject matter."

This was his full statement:

Well I just haven't heard of that being a circumstance that's been brought to me in any personal way and I'd be open to hearing discussion about that subject matter. Generally speaking it's this: That there millions of abortions in this country every year. Millions of them are paid for at least in part by taxpayers. I think it's immoral for us to compel conscientious objecting taxpayers to fund abortion through the federal government, or any other government for that matter. So that's my stand. And if there are exceptions there, then bring me those exceptions let's talk about it. In the meantime it's wrong for us to compel pro-life people to pay taxes to fund abortion.

I cannot state this any more plainly: Someone this comprehensively out of touch with the lived experiences of girls and women is unfit to hold elected office.

[H/T to everyone in the multiverse, and my thanks to each and every one of you.]

Daily Dose of Cute

Recently, I was telling Spudsy about how all five furry residents of Shakes Manor go completely apeshit when I open a can of tuna. As soon as they hear the can opener and get a whiff of that delectable scent, they all race to the kitchen and scream "TUNA WATER! GIVE US TUNA WATER! PLEEEEEASE!!!! TUUUUUUUUUNAAAAA WAAAAAAAATERRRRRR!!!!"

Each of the cats gets a little plate of tuna water and a bit of tuna, and each of the dogs gets a little tuna water and some tuna flakes mixed in with hir dinner. And it is the GREATEST DAY EVARRRRR when they get TUNA WATER!!!!11!!!1!eleventy!!!1!

It's so awesome that Dudley, who sits for food even when you don't ask him to, can't sit his butt on the ground. It's so awesome that Olivia, who is under normal circumstances a talkative cat, can't stop YELLING FOR TUNA WATER!!! Tuna water! Tuna water! Tuna water! AHHHHHH! Tuna water! GIVE US IT!

It is not, however, so awesome that Matilda won't stay in another room and require me to bring it to her majesty. Just FYI.

Video Description: I pan across the kitchen counter, where I am about to make tuna salad for Iain's and my dinner. I pan past three plates of tuna water with a bit of tuna in the center, then past two dog bowls full of dog food mixed with tuna flakes. In the background, Olivia is yowling impatiently. I pan down to Dudley and Zelda, looking up at me plaintively with tails wagging. I pan across to the kitchen table, where Olivia is pacing frantically, then down to the floor, where Sophie is sitting politely.

"Where's Matilda?" I ask. Dudley yawns. Sophie mews. "Is that right, Sophs?" I ask her. She fixes to jump on the table. Zelda looks up at me expectantly. Wag wag. "All right," I say. "Are the good dogs gonna go out in the living room?" (Which is where they get fed.) "Come on." *kissy noises* Dudley gallops into the living room, but doesn't sit like he usually does. "Sit, Dudley!" I tell him, knowing full well he won't do it when TUNA WATER! is in the offing. "Dudley, sit!" He looks back at me.

Olivia howls and swooshes her tail at me. "Oh," I say. "Oh no, kitties! Kittens! Oh no." I look down at Zelda. Wag wag. Oh no.

The video ends. At which point, they were all given their TUNA WATER OH HAPPY DAY IT'S TUNA WATER FOR EVERYONE! Including Tils' special delivery, natch.

Bi-Monthly Reminder & Thank-You

This is, for those who have requested it, your bi-monthly reminder* to donate to Shakesville and/or to make sure to renew subscriptions that have lapsed.

It is also an important fundraiser to keep Shakesville going.

Running this strictly-moderated and independent space on donations rather than corporate advertising means that my ability to keep it going depends on your support.

You can donate once by clicking the "Make a Donation" button in the righthand sidebar, or set up a monthly subscription using the "Subscribe" button just below it, which has a dropdown menu of subscription options—or visit the Donation page, for even more options.

If you value the content and/or community in this space, can afford it, and want to see Shakesville continue to be managed** as a safe space, please consider setting up a subscription or making a one-time contribution.

If you have recently appreciated getting distilled news about the election, reproductive rights, and other news items; the Fatsronauts 101 series; being able to discuss aspects of the rape culture in a space interested in dismantling that culture; finding out where to direct your teaspoon in support of social justice or in opposition to inequality; getting election news about candidates who are discussed on the basis on their policies alone, I hope you will, if you are able, contribute to support this space and make sure it continues to flourish.

I hope you will also consider the value of whatever else you appreciate at Shakesville, whether it's the moderation, video transcripts, Film Corner, the community in Open Threads, the blogarounds, Butch Pornstache, the Daily Dose of Cute, your blogmistress' penchant for inventing new words, or anything else you enjoy.

Let me reiterate, once again, that I don't want anyone to feel obliged to contribute financially, especially if money is tight. Aside from valuing feminist work, the other goal of fundraising is so Iain and I don't have to struggle on behalf of the blog, and I don't want anyone else to struggle themselves in exchange. There is a big enough readership that neither should have to happen.

I also want say thank you, so very much, to each of you who donates or has donated, whether monthly or as a one-off. I am profoundly grateful—and I don't take a single cent for granted. I've not the words to express the depth of my appreciation, besides these: This community couldn't exist without that support, truly. Thank you.

My boundless appreciation as well to everyone who contributes to the space in other ways: Thank you to our regular contributors, our moderators, our guest contributors, to anyone who has provided a transcription, to those who have linked to, quoted, Tweeted about, and otherwise supportively recommended this blog, and/or to the people who have taken the time to send me the occasional note of support and encouragement. This community couldn't exist without you, either.

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* I know there are people who resent these reminders, but there are also people who appreciate them, so I've now taken to doing them every other month, in the hopes that will make a good compromise.

** Managing Shakesville as a safe space requires, in addition to the time of our volunteer mods, my full-time commitment, and my salary is drawn exclusively from donations. I do not raise funds by corporate or content-generated advertising, as past attempts have resulted in ads served that violated the safe space, and I do not raise funds by required subscription, i.e. locking content behind a pay wall, as I want Shakesville to be accessible as possible irrespective of one's financial situation.

I cannot afford to do this full-time for free, but, even if I could, fundraising is also one of the most feminist acts I do here. I ask to be paid for my work because progressive feminist advocacy has value.

[Please Note: I am not seeking suggestions on how to raise revenue; I am asking for donations in exchange for the work of providing valued content in as safe and accessible a space as possible.]

Sure

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

Kirk Cameron defends Todd Akin. Ha ha PERFECT!

"He clearly is a pro-life advocate, and for that, I respect him," said the former 'Growing Pains' star, speaking on CNN's Starting Point. "He said that he misspoke and that he misphrased something and that he apologized."

..."I'm the kind of person that believes that I would like to be evaluated by my entire career and my entire life, not two words that I would misspeak and then later apologize for," he said.

Yes, except that Akin "misspoke" only insomuch as he meant to say "forcible rape" instead of "legitimate rape," which is still rape-ranking apologist bullshit.

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Phyllis Diller: "You're Different"

Quote of the Day

"Credibility is a basic survival tool."—Rebecca Solnit, in a must-read essay* entitled "The Problem With Men Explaining Things," which addresses, among other things, how many men's insistence on treating every woman as "an empty vessel to be filled with their wisdom and knowledge" steals women's credibility, silences us by virtue of assuming we have nothing of value or wisdom to say.

Consider, for a moment, what it means to rob of credibility an entire class of people who are victimized by sexual violence at an epidemic rate.

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* Content Note: Rape culture; violence; misogyny disablist language.

Top Five

Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Magazines. Go!

Note: They don't have to still be in circulation—folded but lovingly remembered magazines count, too. As do 'zines.

Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.

Tweet of the Day

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

@paulryanvp says Forcible rape, @toddakin says #LegitimateRape, @ronpaul says honest rape. Nice.
— Jennifer Gunter (@DrJenGunter) August 21, 2012

Republican veep nominee and sitting rep Paul Ryan: Co-sponsor of "forcible rape" bill.

Republican Senate candidate and sitting rep Todd Akin: Legitimate rape.

Republican presidential candidate and sitting rep Ron Paul: Honest rape.

Akin Update

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

Rep. Todd Akin at a press conference

Whooooooooooooooops for America.
The Republican Party is not happy with Rep. Akin, their Senate candidate in Missouri, who went from leading his Democratic opponent, incumbent Claire McCaskill, to being in a statistical tie in only a matter of days. Funding is being pulled, anonymous sources are saying Akin's going to quit, and Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is telling him to get lost:

"What he said is just flat wrong in addition to being wildly offensive to any victim of sexual abuse," said Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the minority leader. "Although Representative Akin has apologized, I believe he should take time with his family to consider whether this statement will prevent him from effectively representing our party in this critical election."

Under election rules in Missouri, the deadline is 5 p.m. Tuesday for candidates to withdraw from the Senate race without a court order. The state party would have until Sept. 18 to select another candidate.

Meanwhile, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney says Akin is on his own: "He should understand that his words with regards to rape are not words that I can defend, that we can defend, or that we can defend him."

(Please, US media, I beg you to ask Mitt Romney why he considers "legitimate rape" indefensible but "forcible rape" fine and dandy. Because that is some rank hypocritical bullshit, right there.)

In any case, Akin is still trying to stick it out, releasing a new campaign ad in which he asks for "forgiveness," but smart money says Akin drops out sometime today.

When the only people getting your back are the Family Research Council and Mike Huckabee—who helpfully noted yesterday that, hey, some great people are "the result of a forcible rape" yiiiiikes—your ~~days~~ hours are numbered.

In related news: GOP prepares tough anti-abortion platform. PERFECT.

LULZ

This is the most honest Mitt Romney campaign advert you will ever see:

Video Description: Over cutesy images of Mitt Romney campaigning nicked from his actual campaign adverts, Romney says in voiceover: I don't really know who I am. I don't know what I believe. I served as governor for four years. Like a mini-skirt it was short and revealing. I was liberal. But I was conservative as well. I'm pro-life, but I had no difficulty supporting abortion. And then I decided to run for national office and don't have an idea why. Everybody I talked to said it's a bad idea, but I love debate and disagreement over issues. And in the case of Obamacare, I disagree with myself. I supported the idea of an individual mandate, but I oppose what the President did. And also with regards to gay marriage, I looked at some of my policies and said "Gosh, I have exactly the opposite view today." One reason of course is that I hope to represent all Americans. And I think the American people have differing views, and I agree with the American people. I believe in America. I'd like to ask you to join with us: Volunteer, donate, or just pass this message along to a friend. Thanks so much. [Text Onscreen: "by Hugh Atkin / Audio has been edited and often does not reflect Mitt Romney's original meaning. The Romney campaign was not involved in the production of this video."]

[Via. If you'd like to see the snippets from which Hugh edited the audio together, and explanations of their context, click here.]

Open Thread

The Horsehead Nebula

Question of the Day

What is the very last thing you do before you settle in to fall asleep at night? (Or whenever you take your longest rest of the day.)

Iain and I keep the same schedule, so we go to bed together pretty much every night. We have a pretty standard routine, the order of which might vary slightly, depending on who's carrying out which task that night.

But the very last thing I do every night is tell Iain I love him. I'm not superstitious about it, and we tell each other "I love you" like a zillion times a day, so it's not some special thing we save just for bedtime. To call it a habit seems to suggest it's so axiomatic as to be meaningless, but it's not. It's a nice habit.

Hey

Ron Swanson's mustache is for sale. Can someone buy me it, please? Thanks.

The Latest Akin News

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

Despite the fact that Rep. Todd Akin has clarified that he "was talking about forcible rape; I used the wrong word" (HA HA SURE AND THAT IS STILL A PROBLEM, SIR!) and has vowed to fight on, there are reports from unnamed "GOP sources" that Akin is preparing to withdraw from the Senate race in Missouri.

Which means either that Rep. Todd Akin is actually preparing to withdraw, or the GOP Powers That Be are trying to force his ass out of the race by leaking that he's withdrawing.

Either way, Akin's up shit creek financially, because "conservative outside-spending powerhouse Crossroads GPS is pulling its ads from the Missouri Senate race."

Still in Akin's corner: Definitely Not a Hate Group LULZ Family Research Council, whose PAC head Connie Mackey says, "We feel this is a case of gotcha politics."

Yeah, it is. Gotcha, Todd Akin! You're a rape apologist! GOTCHA!

On a related note, I am very glad to see everyone caring so much about a lawmaker's hostility toward bodily autonomy and consent! It's so great how even the President got in on the action!

And while I am GENUINELY THRILLED that there has been such an outpouring of condemnation for such an ignorant, heinous comment about rape and reproductive rights, I would love it even more if this same level of outrage could be offered on behalf and in support of women and other people with uteri, as well as survivors and anti-rape advocates, when it was not politically expedient.

Because Rep. Todd Akin's comments aren't super gross because he's a Republican in a hotly contested Senate race and it's an election year. His comments are super gross because they are SUPER GROSS. I'm just saying.

Photos of the Day

There are so many ridiculously adorbz pictures of President and First Lady Obama from a joint appearance in Davenport, Iowa, last week that I hardly know what to do with myself! I hope, for them, that they are as deeply in love and as deeply in respect for one another as they appear to be. And I love, selfishly, all these amazing pictures of what seems to be as close to a straight egalitarian partnership as can be achieved in a culture that discourages straight egalitarian partnerships in virtually every conceivable way.

image of President Obama standing to one side, grinning proudly, while First Lady Obama speaks at a podium

image of President and First Lady Obama making cute faces at each other onstage

image of President Obama kissing First Lady Obama on the cheek

image of the President's and First Lady's hands, held as the First Lady speaks

image of First Lady Michelle Obama at a podium, triumphantly lifting her arms, while President Barack Obama gazes on proudly

image of the President and First Lady hugging onstage in front of a huge crowd

image of President Obama laughing with First Lady Obama making a funny expression beside him

image of First Lady Obama looking at President Obama, who has his head tossed back, laughing

image of the President and First Lady hugging; the President's face is visible over the First Lady's shoulder, and he just looks incandescently happy

image of the President and First Lady holding each other loosely, looking at each other, and smiling