And Months and Months We Have Yet to Go...

[Content Note: Racism; birtherism; Othering.]

This is a pretty cool campaign advertisement I thought you'd like to see:

Male voiceover, fast-talking, over black-and-white images of Barack Obama with random text highlighting phrases in the narration appearing onscreen, in the style of local adverts for personal injury attorneys: Who is Barack Obama? We know less about this man than any other president in American history. What's he hiding?! His autobiography is full of fictional characters, but there's a lot more than that! If you try to look into his past, you run into a brick wall. His college records at Columbia—sealed! His college records at Harvard—sealed! We don't know what his thesis papers were about, because those are sealed, too! His selective service record is sealed! His records as an attorney are sealed! He has a Connecticut social security number, and we can't get answers about that, either! And no one—I mean, no one!—has seen an actual, physical copy of Barack Obama's birth certificate!

The fact is, if we don't know who Barack Obama is, we shouldn't even have him as a candidate for president. Let's disqualify Obama before the Democratic National Convention! Call today to sign the Demand to Disqualify Obama. Call 1-800-617-7709. We need 10,000 signatures from every Congressional district to boot this guy off the ballot and have the Democrats nominate someone else! Unless he can tell us who he is, the Democrats need to put up another candidate! Call 1-800-617-7709 now to sign the Demand to Disqualify Obama! Paid for by the Conservative Majority Fund.
What a neat advert!

I think the thing I like best about it is how honest it is. No, wait—it's probably the part where they talk about how we don't know anything about sitting US President Barack Obama, who is definitely a mystery to all of us. I heard his Secret Service code name is "Unknown Quantity," because they know so little about him they couldn't think of anything else.

Anyway! This supercool campaign—which is FOR SURE not racially motivated (yes it is), and does not rely on racist tropes about people of color being inscrutable, undeserving, sneaky, Other (yes it does), and does not hold Obama to an absurd and nonsensical standard by ignoring things like how attorney records are "sealed" to protect clients (yup!)—will probably have loads of success. I mean, what could possibly stop this train of principled smartness?!

And when the Conservative Majority Fund is successful, as they will definitely be, I can't wait to see who the Democrats nominate to replace candidate President Barack Obama. I'm going to guess Hillary Clinton, who might be capable of beating Mitt Romney even harder.

[Via TDW.]

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This Does Not Make Me Want To Buy Your Ice Cream


[Video description: A person, covered entirely in ice cream, slowly eats ice cream off of their head while a voice-over tells us how awesome that ice cream tastes.]

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Number of the Day

A lot: The amount of taxes Mitt Romney says he's paid: "Categorically, I have paid taxes every year and a lot of taxes, a lot of taxes, so Harry is wrong."

Well, that settles it then!

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Top Five

Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Sports or Games to Play. (As not everyone has the ability or will to participate in physical sports/games, you are welcome to substitute board games, card games, etc.) Go!

Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.

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Generally Awful

image of Mitt Romney and Texas Governor Rick Perry awkwardly hugging
That's just a solid picture of two great dudes who definitely like each other showing genuine affection for one another, and is not a picture of two garbage nightmare d-bags who despise each other trying to choke back barf while awkwardly pseudo-hugging for the Republican Rabble to raise cash. FACT.

Speaking of Rick Perry, who is definitely no longer in the race and has totally dropped out and doesn't even want to be Romney's running mate so shut up, the ex-candidate says that Romney's veep pick won't matter: "The announcement of Mitt Romney's running mate won't do much to change the dynamics of the presidential race, Texas Gov. Rick Perry said Thursday. Perry said the running mate pick will likely grab headlines for a couple of days before the focus of the race quickly shifts back to the choice between Romney and President Barack Obama." Give that governor a gold in stating the obvious! Good job on knowing the basics of US politics, sir!

If you were one of the millions of Americans I'm sure who have been withholding judgment on the presidential race until Jenna Jameson weighed in, well, your day has come! Jenna Jameson is a Romney supporter. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office." Ha ha PERFECT.

In other ha ha PERFECT news, Josh at Think Progress reports: New SuperPAC, FightBigotry.com, Smears President Obama for 'Racism Against White Folks.' "FightBigotry.com, a new Super PAC registered with the Federal Election Commission this week, makes no bones about its aim. It intends to run an attack ad that it says will hit President Barack Obama for 'his disturbing, yet crystal-clear pattern of tacitly defending black racism against white folks before and since being elected president'."

Where "black racism" = "pointing out and challenging white privilege." Oh the horror etc. Go to hell, Stephen Marks.

Meanwhile, on the Senate floor: The toast, the toast, the toast is on fire! "Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid took his [campaign] concerning Mitt Romney's personal finances to the chamber floor Thursday, repeating his unsubstantiated claim that the wealthy Republican paid no federal income taxes for 10 years. ... The Democrat, in remarks to the Senate this morning, said 'the word's out that [Romney] hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years.' Of course, that 'word' has come from none other than Reid himself."

Speaking of Mitt Romney and his dirty secrets, Todd Purdum observes in Vanity Fart (a typo I will leave for your amusement) that Romney is pretty cagey about who he really is, beyond the adjectives that comprise his bio.

The other possibility, of course, is that Romney is just as comprehensive an empty suit as he appears to be. Just a flesh sack full of contradictory soundbites and a seething urge to bully.

Finally: Maybe you would like to vote for the Peace and Freedom Party ticket? The ticket is topped by Roseanne Barr, and her running mate is Cindy Sheehan. Barr: "The American people are sick and tired of this 'lesser evil' garbage they get fed every election year. ... I'm here to tell the voters: if you want to tell the government and the two domineering parties that you're sick and tired of all their evil, register in the Peace and Freedom Party and vote for me and Cindy." I've heard worse ideas.

Like, for example, voting for Mitt Romney.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

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Daily Dose of Cute

Sophie on the Stairs:

Sophie the Torbie Cat lying on her side on the stairs, staring into space dreamily
I still can't stop thinking about Tony. Wondering where he could be, who he is with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday...

Sophie lying on her back in the same place, paws in the air
I totally want a treat. I wonder if Two-Legs will give me a treat.

Sophie lying on her back in the same place, looking at me upside-down
"O hai! I was just wondering if I could have a treat, plz?"

Sophie lying in the same spot, with one paw up and curled in a way that it looks like she's giving me the finger
"Look, I'll even do my 'FUCK YOU CHICK-FIL-A!' finger trick for it! TA-DAAAA!"

For the record, that is not Photoshopped, lol. Also for the record: Sophie hates the fuck out of Chick-Fil-A.

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I'll Make the Entertainment I Want to See

by Sara Koffi, a 19-year-old college junior majoring in English with a concentration in Education, with plans to change the world.

My name's Sara. Well, not really. My real first name is a bit longer than that, but s a r a are definitely the first letters. Growing up with botched IDs and mispronunciation, I learned to keep how I identify myself pretty simple. I also became synonymous with certain adjectives: shy, quiet, big, brown and feminine. When I was much younger, I liked to keep my opinions to myself and avoided confrontation like it was my sworn duty. I knew all of my adjectives weren't personality traits, but I didn't really know what to do with them. So, I left them in a nice little room and remembered to lock the door.

Somewhere between 13 and 16, I discovered a new adjective: angry. At first, I assumed it was just going to be the stereotypical teenage phase of hating the world. But I got older, and the angry just didn't go away. It was always waiting for something. I wasn't going around picking fistfights or having screaming contests with strangers. My angry just sat on what felt like the bottom of my soul, always with me and always unwilling to answer a direct question.

"Why are you here, angry?"

"You'll see."

Angry was right. I did see. Eventually, I came to find out about this thing called "activism". I enjoyed the people I met because of conversations about it and learned more about the issues. I found a sense of pure bliss when discussing what was wrong with various policies and the inherent racism and sexism in certain institutions. I was so happy, I didn't notice that angry had unlocked that room and all of my adjectives were roaming around, free, in my head.

Shy, quiet, big, brown, feminine, angry…

I grew increasingly more unable to stomach certain websites, certain TV shows and certain films. If a joke was made about women, I stopped. If a joke was made at the expense of fat people, I stopped. If there was a stereotypical black character with no redeeming qualities, I HAD to stop. My world was growing more and more specific and I couldn't stand it. I was shy, quiet, big, brown, feminine, and angry as Hell and it needed to be dealt with.

I started to struggle with the "F" word. You know. Feminist. I didn't want to call myself one because weren't feminists those angry women who wanted to eradicate all men? I had brothers! I couldn't be a feminist! It took me being angry a bit longer before I began to use the word to describe myself in common conversations. I didn't realize how powerful it was. Guys and gals would discredit feminism as a whole when I stated I was one, and some people then asked, "Well, what kind are you?"

My answer was and will always be, "I'm the big, brown, angry kind." I cared about women's issues, I cared about size acceptance and I cared about social justice. It only made me more upset that when I looked around me, more and more people seemed to not care at all or have no strong opinion either way.

And one day I had an epiphany.

How could they care?

I hadn't considered how I'd policed my own media and made decisions accordingly. I watched my own family members watch problematic media all the time, without seeing its problems. That's when it finally clicked for me. People who don't see the problems, can't be expected to genuinely care about the problems. So, I took it upon myself to show them.

Now, as some of you may have discovered, pointing out problematic pieces of media for everyone you know doesn't make you very popular. Worse yet, I didn't get very far. I went back to my feminist lab and dreamt up something else. What if for every problematic piece of mass media, there was counter-media? Counter-media that would be for people like me to enjoy, and for me to recommend to people who otherwise might never question what was on their TVs.

Not gonna lie—I thought it sounded awesome. I also mistakenly thought it was going to be super easy and super supported. First lesson in ideas? Always super easy and super supported in your head. In reality, I'd written a stage play that had NO funding behind it. Awesome. For some reason, someone somewhere in the universe decided that I was capable of something with my art. She gave me a shot at production. The problem? I'd only made public the cookie cutter version. It wasn't about my adjectives. It wasn't about anything, really. It touched on a few issues but mostly stayed quiet during the whole counter-media discussion. It felt wrong. It felt weird. It felt useless.

I thanked her. I postponed production. I went back to the drawing board.

A year later, Class Dismissed was born.

Class Dismissed is a planned film about Christy Taylor, a plus-sized escort and her college roommate, Aubrey, who has some coming out to do. I knew that it had to be a comedy for two reasons. First, I wanted people who felt they were the punchline or the tragic figure much too often in the media to have a piece of joyful entertainment to revel in. Second, I wanted to prove that it's 100% possible to create something funny, endearing and sweet without being completely offensive and instead pretty inclusive. I wanted to honestly create counter-media, what should serve as the answer to problematic imagery that rarely gets seriously challenged.

To make this film project happen, I set up a fundraiser here.

I figure with $5000, I could make a pretty B.A. short film. With even more, I could work on making a full feature that's even more B.A. Either way, I'm ready for less problematic entertainment in my life, even if I have to make it myself.

I wanna write.

I wanna make movies that mean something to somebody.

I wanna create safe entertainment for the kids like me who always had a bad taste in their mouth when the lesson was, "Lose weight" or "Love yourself...but change a few things" or "Keep it straight, stupid."

I wanna make the entertainment that I wanna see.

Thanks for listening, Shakers.

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Friday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by a person.

Recommended Reading:

Chick-Fil-A related [content note for homophobia on all of these posts]:

Lindsay, via Carrie: Have you considered the impact of these photos on your friends?

Jane: Being Gay in Tucson Hurts

Pam: A Chicken Sandwich Quizzical

Imara: Chick-Fil-A Hasn't Reconciled Itself with the Future of America

Deeky: To My Gay, Lesbian, Trans, Bi, Intersex, Queer Friends

Other stuff:

Melissa: Interview with Rashida Jones, Co-writer and Star of Celeste and Jesse Forever

Anita: Quick Tropes vs Women Project Update

Andrew: Homeland Security: Binational Same-Sex Couples Still Low Priority

crunktastic: Gabby the Great Gets the Gold!!! (LOVE that picture.)

Sharon: Adopt Me Maybe

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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Quote of the Day

"I am so thrilled now to change my website and take down the fact that I was the only African-American [gymnast] with a gold medal, and it couldn't go to a better kid."—USA gymnast Dominique Dawes, through tears, on Gabby Douglas' historic achievement of being the first African-American gymnast to win team and all-around individual gold medals.

The entire interview is here. (If anyone can locate a transcript, please drop a link in comments.)

So much blub.

[H/T to Veronica.]

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Gilberto Gil: "Expresso 2222"

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Community Note

I am not a content-generating machine.

Certainly, in the abstract, everyone who participates in the community here agrees with that. But, in practice, there seems to be some confusion about it.

Let me begin here. Shakesville has four parts:

1. The front page. Shakesville is a blog about stuff. Its content published on the main page is written by people. Most of it is written by me. I write around 20,000 words every week for this space, including comments. By nature of the subject matter central to this space, much of what's written here is personal to its authors.

2. The comments section. Shakesville is also a community, in which a percentage of the readership wants to actively participate. The comments threads and their hundreds of daily comments are moderated by people. Because we run the community as a safe a space as possible, moderation entails reading every comment, editing/deleting comments that don't adhere to the safe space guidelines, and being actively involved in comments as participants.

3. The community outside comments. As I have previously noted, I actively care about the people who spend time here, and I do the business of caring on-blog and off. I communicate privately with Shakers who are seeking advice, who have lost a loved one, have lost a job, have suffered an injury or trauma, are going through a relationship crisis, are having surgery, have just come out, have just had a baby, have just gotten engaged, are considering an abortion, a divorce, self-harm, need advice or just a sympathetic ear on any one of a million different subjects. I mentor Shakers just starting their own blogs and looking for help; I commiserate with Shakers who are themselves established bloggers and share ideas. I have reviewed résumés and served as a reference. I have loaned Shakers money. I have found local (to them) psychiatrists, victims' advocates, a gay-friendly wedding planner, a trans-friendly doctor, a tax attorney, plus-sized clothiers, breed-specific rescues. Caring about this community is not an abstract concept to me. It is concrete and it is personal and it is an active practice.

4. The back office. Shakesville is a virtual space made possible by the hard work of people. This is my full-time job, and the contributors and mods volunteer their time and talents. In addition to writing content, I serve as editor-in-chief for all content including guest posts, design the space, maintain the technical parts of the space e.g. commenting system, pay all of the outgoing costs, including consulting fees for all the technical shit I can't do myself, and do all the general management, like coordinating between writers who's going to cover something. The three other parts of Shakesville are not a magical kingdom created of pixie dust. It takes lots of time and lots of work to make this space happen.

Not everyone appreciates all aspects of this space. Many readers just want to read the content here and don't give a fuck about the rest of it. Which is fine, and this post isn't really for or about them.

It's for and about the people who actively participate in the community aspects, particularly those who enjoy the safe space made possible by all the hard work that goes into creating a space they ostensibly love, but nonetheless casually ignore the humanity of the people behind it.

* Content isn't produced by "Shakesville." Shakesville is not a person.

* If you express your dismay, anger, sanctimonious judgment about some news story not being "at Shakesville," you're not indicting a blog; you're indicting the people who write it—and you're ignoring all the possible reasons something hasn't been covered here, like the possibility we're waiting for further developments, that we need to do research, that it's a distressing topic none of us have the spoons to address right now, that we don't have the mods to cover what will probably be a contentious thread, that no one wants to write about it, or that none of us has heard about it because we are not news machines that get every piece of information in the world Matrixed into our skulls in a constant feed.

* Comments don't exist in a void. If you quote and respond to a part of a post, you are not responding to "this sentence written on Shakesville." Without any caveat or qualification indicating otherwise, you are responding to the person who wrote it. At a blog where every contributor is active in at least their own comments threads, and where we are expected to be there as much as possible, pretending we aren't there in order to imagine you're commenting into a void is impolite. To put it politely.

There are blogs where content is posted and authors disappear and commenters discuss the ideas in the abstract. In fact, that's what happens when, for example, I write at The Guardian. My piece is published and then comments are made on the piece without my participation. Often people have asked me how I can stand the frequently critical and unfair comments there, but it's very easy for me to not be bothered by those comments. I'm not there in a capacity to be accountable to commenters. I'm there to produce content for The Guardian.

There are plenty of blogs that are primarily or strictly about producing content for discussion, but this isn't one of those blogs. It can't be, if the community is to be run as a safe space. That requires investment by its authors in the community, beyond just responding to the occasional commenter.

Thus, commenters don't get to have it both ways: If you want us to be the sort of space where contributors are in comments and immediately accountable for every idea and every image and every word in every post, then you don't get to pretend we don't exist when it suits you.

And if you want us to be the sort of space where contributors respect the individual humanity of each of our commenters, where we make a serious if imperfect effort to use inclusive and respectful language, then you don't get to treat us like shit in return.

When commenters insist that they're just responding to "something written on Shakesville," as if I am not there, that obliges me to remove myself from my own space. I'm meant to put my time and energy and talent and self into writing enormous amounts of content for everyone, then I'm supposed to detach myself from that content as if I don't exist, so people can just "react to it," without being inconvenienced by my humanity.

It is unfun to invest myself to create a community of which I'm not allowed to be a part, where my authorship and ownership are only recognized when someone wants to hold me personally accountable for failures.

This is a dynamic between author and reader about which a lot of bloggers complain, privately. It's the thing, this being treated like a content-generating robot with no humanity except when being criticized, that makes a lot of bloggers burn the fuck out. It isn't the trolls that really get us—it's the dehumanization by our own readers.

And talking about it, like I'm doing now, is considered uncool, whiny, pathetic, needy, whatever, even (and often especially) by people who feel exactly the same way. It's perceived as weak to ask for and expect more of your community, but, suffice it to say it is never easy for me to write anything that I know will garner the usual eye-rolling from the places that think what we try to do here is stupid.

If other bloggers want to not acknowledge it, or chalk it up to that's just how the internet is, that's cool, but I'd rather address this and try to avoid flaming out.

If you're going to participate here, you need to respect that this space is built by people, its content written by individual people. I frankly don't believe it's too much to ask that, in a space dedicated to social justice, we center the humanity of both its users and its architects.

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Open Thread

Divine as Edna Turnblad in 'Hairspray.'

Hosted by Edna Turnblad.

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Blog Note

I am officially out of spoons. I'm taking the rest of the day off. See you tomorrow.

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The Exact and Only Words in Your Response

Last night, my oft-mentioned friend Miller, who is deeply immersed in translating a novel from Portuguese to English, solicited my assistance to help her find the perfect English slang for vagina in a particular context. True Fact: "Cunt" and "pussy" and "vajayjay" and "snatch" and "naughty bits" each have their own tones. Naturally, a very hilarious (but simultaneously quite serious and productive!) conversation ensued.

She also needed to run her translation of a female orgasm by me, and, for some reason, did not appreciate my suggestion that she introduce "ladysquirt" into the lexicon. Harrumph. Some people!

At one point during our amazing conversation, she said, "This is like a re-incidence of the Golden Shower Affair."

To which I replied: "???"

Now, here, I need to tell you, came a whole diversion about how my having no memory of the Golden Shower Affair, while she did, was the greatest thing ever. Deeky is not the only one of my friends who considers me a lint trap. "How can you not remember that?" exclaimed Miller. "You remember everything! In all these years this is the first time I remembered something you didn't! TRIUMPH IS MINE!"

To which I replied: "LOL! HIGH FIVE!"

The thing, which I did not (and do not still) remember, was Miller emailing me, almost 15 years ago, from across the office where we worked together for years, to inquire: "What's that fetish called where someone likes to have someone else urinate on them?"

To which I evidently replied: "A golden shower, baby."

Upon hearing this exchange recounted, I laughed until tears sprung from my eyes. The question alone was brilliant: What could the purpose have been in her asking it? And the thought that this exchange, over work email, was probably the most professional thing happening in that wildly dysfunctional office, on that day or any day. And then my absurd reply.

"Why would I add the 'baby'?!" I exclaimed, rhetorically.

To which Miller replied, "That's what made it so memorable! Those were the exact and only words in your response."

LOL.

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Daily Dose of Cute

Here's one for the Shakers who request more pictures of inter-species cuddling:

image of Zelda the Mutt lying on her back on the couch with her paws in the air; her head is tilted back looking at Matilda the Cat, who is lying beside her; in the background, Olivia's butt can be seen with her tail in the air
"O hai! I didn't even know you were there!"

Please note that Olivia has once again managed to photobomb the picture, this time with her asshole.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares: "Ерген дядо/Полегнала е Тодора/Oh! Susanna"

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Random Nerd Nostalgia: When 2nd Ed Was Young

Photobucket

[Image description: Headline: “Your Toughest Opponent Shouldn’t Be the Rulebook.” The cover of the 2nd edition Player’s Handbook, which shows a brawny-armed white dude with a feathered helmet holding his sword back, while his equally brawny horse thunders forward, heedless of the danger of oncoming readers. Text: “We think that it’s time the rules books were on your side. Introducing ADVANCED DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS ™ 2nd Edition game system, the revised, player-friendly edition of the world’s most popular role-playing game. After 15,000 letters, years of research, and many hours of playtesting, the game system you’ve been waiting for is here. We’ve revised our handbooks to be more concise and better indexed. Awkward mechanics have been cleaned up, and rule changes have been made to improve play. Revised tables, charts, and graphs make for a smoother game, and powerful new graphics created vivid images for campaign play. In short, the best just got better. But fear not. AD&D 2nd Edition is intended to improve your game. All AD&D 2nd Edition products are compatible with existing AD&D products. So arm yourself with AD&D 2nd Edition Player’s Handbook. With all that’s in store for you on your journey, the last thing you need is another opponent.” There are small pictures of the 2nd Ed DMG and Monstrous Compendium at the bottom.]

Wow, remember TSR? Remember when revising D&D was a super-brand-new idea? But most of all, remember THAC0?

(Scanned from Wonder Woman V 2 no 31, June 1989.)

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Generally Dreadful

image of Mitt Romney looking mean to which I have added text reading: 'Don't Question Me.'
True Fact: I wanted a very specific look for the font used in the above picture, and the font that looked right to me happens to be named School Bully. What a not-coincidence!

In the news today...

Harry Reid is not backing down on his "Show me the money (you paid to the IRS)!" challenge to Mitt Romney. In fact, he's doubling down! "What if he has paid no taxes, like I am saying he hasn't? What if he has all these moneys as we already know...in the Cayman Islands, Bermuda, Swiss banks. I mean, gee whiz, rather than ask me why I should do this, that is a story you should be writing!"

That's some full-on pumpernickel pugnacity, right there! Pass the passion fruit jam!

Speaking of Mitt Romney and taxes, his proposed tax plan for the US is also garbage. (I know! I was sooooo surprised, too!) "The reason Romney's plan doesn't work is very simple. The size of the tax cut he's proposing for the rich is larger than all of the tax expenditures that go to the rich put together. As such, it is mathematically impossible for him to keep his promise to make sure the top one percent keeps paying the same or more."

Here's a great headline about Mitt Romney: "Mitt Romney Abroad: Like Bush, but without the cosmopolitan flair." LOL!

(From the Wayback Machine: Bush's Cosmopolitan Flair on Parade.)

In other totally trenchant Mitt Romney news: Mitt Romney is not yet a member of the 'thumb tribe.'
Whereas President Barack Obama was heralded as the "BlackBerry president" and got his iPad 2 from Apple co-founder Steve Jobs himself, not much is known about the tech preferences of presumptive GOP presidential nominee Romney.

..."I don't think Romney is a member of the thumb tribe," said Paul Saffo, a Silicon Valley observer. "I don't see him playing Angry Birds or losing an app among his many apps."
The article does note, however, that Romney has been photographed in the general vicinity of technology: "Earlier this month, Romney was photographed sitting in a lawn chair at home, surrounded by family, with both an iPhone and iPad at the ready." LOL. Oh god. I hate everything about him.

Meanwhile...

Working class white men don't like President Obama. Huh. I wonder what THAT'S all about. Well, it's a mystery!

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

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Quote of the Day

[Content Note: Reproductive rights; violent rhetoric.]

"I know in your mind you can think of the times America was attacked. One is December 7—that is Pearl Harbor Day. Another was September 11—that was the day of the terrorist attack. I want you to remember August 1, 2012—the attack on our religious freedom. That is a date that will live in infamy, along with those other dates."—Freshman Representative Mike Kelly (R-Idiculous), on the floor of the House yesterday, in response to the implementation of the birth control mandate, a provision of the Affordable Care Act which requires that insurance plans cover reproductive healthcare.

When asked if the Congressman wasn't being a bit of a hyperbolic d-bag (I'm paraphrasing), Kelly's office called the birth control mandate "an undeniable and unprecedented attack on Americans' First Amendment rights" (lulz sure) and added: "Our freedoms and way of life have been under attack before, from both internal and external threats. If we fail to defend our constitutional rights, we risk losing the freedoms that so many brave men and women have given their lives to defend throughout the course of our nation's history."

To hear them tell it, you'd think that the objective of the birth control mandate was to mandate that everyone be on birth control. As opposed to, you know, telling insurance companies they're not allowed to treat having a uterus as a preexisting condition.

The vast majority of the people who will benefit from the birth control mandate are women. (Whose freedom to control our reproduction is, as per usual, not a concern of Republican men.) When a sitting member of Congress says that giving women control over their bodies is equivalent to a terrorist act, equivalent to encroachments on liberty over which we've fought wars, that is a level of hostility toward women's agency which would be considered hate speech in a decent country that took misogyny seriously.

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Top Five

Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Sports to Watch. Go!

Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.

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