Surprise Becks

I have mentioned once or twice or a dozen times that I like the Beckhams. If I'm honest, I feel sort of weirdly protective of them, because the horrendous tabloid scrutiny to which they're subjected, and the inexplicable narratives that result therefrom, so perfectly exemplify the culture of judgment—the shitty, uncritical culture of judgment—that is an outgrowth of the nightmarish entitlement we seem to believe we have to own every part of public figures' lives.

David Beckham is a world-class footballer subjected to petty arguments about being overrated that inevitably devolve into derisive snorts about underwear modeling. Victoria Beckham is a world-class designer whose fashion career is casually elided by people who want to accuse her of unearned fame, snorting reductive judgments about her participation in a (highly successful) girl-band once upon a time.

They are professionally successful, but incessantly picked-on as undeserving. That sort of thing irritates me generally, but really gets under my skin when it's done to the Beckhams (not that they need my defense), because, in addition to living parts of their hardworking lives in public for our entertainment, they seem quite nice.

Niceness is so underrated.

Anyway. That is an unnecessarily long preamble to introducing this adidas advert, featuring David Beckham. He is good sport, in every way.

Text Onscreen: adidas presents

Image of a photobooth labeled "Great Britain #takethestage".

Text Onscreen: We invited a bunch of people to take the stage and support Team GB."

Cut to a group of three football fans, two black women and a black man, doing a footie chant while taking pictures in the booth. Suddenly their expressions turn to surprise.

Text Onscreen: We also invited someone else...

Cut to two black young men in the photo booth; David Beckham peeks his head into the booth and they react with shock and delight. Becks laughs.

Cut to a montage of Becks taking pictures and grinning with lots of different groups of people, who are all surprised and grinning. He genuinely looks like he's having fun, throwing his arms around their shoulders and posing for pictures with them in the booth. He hugs people and lets women and men kiss his cheeks. He shakes their hands and says, "Nice to meet ya." With a group of two white men holding props, he is offered a prop microphone. "I've got the rubber duck!" he says, holding up a Union Jacked rubber ducky. He surprised a young white woman and asks, "Can I get in?" She squeals, "Yes!" and waves him into the booth. He hugs a little white boy who is weeping with being overwhelmed. "Should we do some pictures?" Becks asks him.

Cut to people who've had their pictures taken with Becks leaving in an elevator. They are all excited. "Best thing ever!" enthuses a black woman. "That was wonderful!" says a white woman. "Wow," whispers a black man. The little boy wipes his tears.

Text Onscreen: #takethestage / adidas / official sportswear partner of the 2012 London Olympics
That's the kind of advertising that makes me want to buy a product.

teaspoon icon Contact adidas and thank them for positive advertising that uplifts instead of putting people down.

[Via Andy.]

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Today in Mitt Romey Blah Blah Fart

image of Mitt Romney sitting in front of a huge sign reading 'Build It! mittromney.com'

Insert ALL the robot jokes here. Jokes that I would never make because obviously Mitt Romney is a very warm and super empathic human man person with a totally normal gold-plated moon mansion with a ruby-encrusted car elevator and a boathouse made from the shavings of unicorn hooves.

In election news today, Mitt Romney is terrible! He is sooooo terrible! Only a very terrible person would say that the first African-American President of the United States has a philosophy that is "foreign to the American experience" and try to pretend like that isn't some straight-up racist bullshit. Mitt Romney, you are THE WORST.

Luckily, he has conservative superPACs to buy the election for him! And they do not consider his being totes terrible a bug, but a feature! HOW LUCKY FOR HIM.

In other news, President Obama is fighting back against Team Romney's mendacity. Good. Because this:
If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. … Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you've got a business—you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen.
—is a true and eminently reasonable thing to say.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

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Top Five

Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Kitchen Gadgets Smaller Than a Toaster. Go!

Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Sophie the Cat sitting in the glow of an electric light in an otherwise dark room

Sophie, in the warm glow of a tap-light during our blackout earlier today. That's not pre-sunrise; the sky was just so dark during the storm that the interior of the house was dark as nighttime.

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Garbage Treasures: The Movie

[Reposting this one from a while back, because reasons and a cumbling infrastructure and also as filler.]

The reviews are in:

"Four and half thumbs up!" — Roger Ebert

"Tropetastic!" — Elvis Mitchell

"★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★" — Leonard Maltin

"Wevs." — Pauline Kael

Time to walk down the red carpet, Shakers! Here it is, the world premiere of my first (and likely last) animated short film. Emphasis on short; it's only a minute long.

Cue the paparazzi, I'm wearing my finest Jean Paul Gaultier tux and snockered on rum. And tune in for my exclusive interview with Leeza Gibbons after the gala! Do people still use the word "gala"? Let's all pinky swear to use "gala" in conversation at least once today, okay? Okay!

Anyway, press play, if you want to watch me and Liss in animated action. In the meantime I'll be collecting all the Oscars. And Grammys. Take that, Foo Fighters!



Garbage Treasures: A Liss & Deeky Adventure

Vague transcript: Deeky mails Liss a package, but Liss is unhappy with her gift.

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Random Nerd Nostalgia: Get Your VENUS FLY TRAP!

Photobucket

[Image Description: On the left, a cartoon of a Venus flytrap, open and apparently accepting food from a white, manicured hand. Text reads: "Discover the hidden mysteries of nature's most exotic and mysterious house plant! The VENUS FLY TRAP! See how it lures, traps, eats and digests insects up to 20 times its size! Learn how you can actually train it with a pencil to perform only for you!Feed it with raw hamburger from your hand Experiment with it at home or at school!... The Venus Fly Trap will grow easily in your home. It blooms into a bright green-leafed plant with white and green flowers, in only 3-4 weeks and produced 6-12 traps per plant. Each pack comes with soil, bulbs, and a complete instruction booklet, filled with fascinating facts and hints. Mail in this coupon and start a Venus Flytrap garden of your own. You will be Delighted!" There is a coupon for Mirbar Corp, the company selling the plants, with prices--$1.55 for 2 plants, $2.35 for 4. Only $1 plus postage!]

Scanned from Wonder Woman 194, June 1972.

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Be Entrepreneurial! Be Self-Employed! Be a Job Creator! Be Broke.

by Shaker BrianWS, who may or may not become a full-time contributor someday based on whether Dwayne the Magical Groundhog sees his shadow three fortnights in a row.

I don't mind paying my taxes. I, personally, am something along the lines of what Republicans accuse President Obama of being – super far left, and I think the government can do quite a bit of good work with the social safety net and infrastructure with my taxes, so I'm happy to pay them.

What I still don't understand is how our government's tax code continues to penalize people for being self-employed in an economy where there are no jobs to begin with. I'll wheel back around to that later.

Personal disclaimer: I have a job I love. I get paid what would likely be considered a little bit more than a fair wage for the work I do. I don't have many business expenses, so I don't get to run down a Schedule C and Romney out my taxes to a microscopic percentage of what I make. I don't intend this post to be about my financial misfortune – I understand how privileged I am to be doing what I do and making what I make. Trust me.

I am able to live comfortably for the most part in the sense that I can pay my rent, I don't generally want for nourishment, I don't get behind on my bills, and I have a little bit of spending money left over every month.

But today, I went back into the 2011 tax year and looked into a couple of things. What I found shocked me, even though I already knew there was a high cost to self-employment, as Liss has noted on several occasions.

For those unfamiliar with how this "penalty" comes into play, there are a few ways in which being self-employed will increase the tax owed – the most glaring of which is the self-employment tax. Basically, in a traditional employer-employee relationship, the employee's payroll tax (that is, Social Security and Medicare taxes) is split evenly. The employer pays half, and the employee pays the other half. Self-employed people must pay both halves, a percentage that can be up to 15.3% of total income.

I found that overall it cost me $5,500 in taxes to be self-employed last year. That is no small sum of money, especially when compared to my overall yearly income. What could I do with that kind of money? It would pay my rent for nearly seven months. In just one year's taxes, that sum equals a third of what I paid for my car five years ago. I could put a down payment on a home with that. Even better for me, someone with an almost non-existent savings base because I have never had the kind of income that allowed me to seriously live any other way but paycheck-to-paycheck, I could save it!

But no, I'm self-employed. The thing that bugs me the most about it is not so much just the principle that it cost me $5,500 to be self-employed last year, but that had I been making the exact same total dollar amount working in service to a gigantic corporation, the government would say I was entitled to that $450+/month.

So there's the problem. We are all aware of a pretty serious unemployment situation in this country. Giant corporations, who reap all the benefits of a tax code increasingly designed to privilege them and their focus on the bottom line, hold all the cards here. They don't offer enough jobs for everyone – but those of us who wind up working for ourselves, rather than for them, are penalized for it.

I couldn't help but think about the guest post I wrote last summer after attending CGI with Liss. The entire system, from the very start in our education system, is designed to cater to corporations and those who help build their bottom lines. I always understood that in the abstract – but it hadn't been so personal for me until this morning, when I realized, thinking about what I could do with an extra $5,500 a year, how that money would legitimately change my life and financial security.

And it's not just about me at all – I know more than a few self-employed people who struggle much worse than I do. This is about them, too, and everyone else who is self-employed, and it's also about the way corporations are treated better than the fucking citizens of this country. But hey, corporations are people now, too, and they're richer than me so they get treated just like the mega-rich in this country while we all fight for scraps underneath.

It's a huge injustice that giant corporations and the very wealthy have hundreds of tax loopholes to exploit in order to pay a much smaller percentage of their total income in taxes, while everyone who bucks the system, intentionally or not, and doesn't play by those rules pays the price.

A price that I can put a real number on now.

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I Have Power!


[Video Description: He-Man saying, "I have the power!"]

Yay!

True Fact: Anyone who says they run their business entirely on the steam of their own bootstraps without any support from the government doesn't live at the ass end of an ancient electrical grid in a state with garbage infrastructure!

Onward.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Split Enz: "I Got You"

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Blog Note

There is a storm in the Chicago area:


And since this nation's infrastructure can't handle the rain and wind and weather, Liss is without power. She'll be back when the power is.

In the meantime, enjoy this ode to things electric:

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Open Thread

A lighthouse with a a large foghorn.

Hosted by a lighthouse.

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Question of the Day

What's the most out-of-character thing you've done lately?

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RIP Sally Ride

image of astronaut Sally Ride, in the shuttle

Sally Ride, who in 1983 became the first US woman in space on a journey aboard the Challenger, has died at age 61 from pancreatic cancer.
In 1983, Sally Ride became the first American woman in space. She blasted off aboard Challenger, culminating a long journey that started in 1977 when the Ph.D candidate answered an ad seeking astronauts for NASA missions.

...According to her official biography, by the time Ride decided to apply to become an astronaut, she had already received degrees in physics and English and was on her way to a Ph.D in physics from Stanford University.

According to her NASA biography, Ride went back into space in October of 1984. She was assigned to another mission after that, but it was scrapped after the shuttle Challenger disaster in 1986.

Ride served on the Presidential Commission investigating the accident. After a stint as a professor of physics at the University of California San Diego, Ride founded Sally Ride Science. As NASA puts it, the company allowed her to "pursue her long-time passion of motivating girls and young women to pursue careers in science, math and technology."
In the President's official statement on Ride's passing, he said, "She inspired generations of young girls to reach for the stars." She did indeed.

[Note: If there are less flattering things to be said about Ride, they have been excluded because I am unaware of them, not as the result of any deliberate intent to whitewash her life. Please feel welcome to comment on the entirety of her work and life in this thread.]

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The Dark Knight Rises Open Thread

Tom Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises

[SPOILER WARNING]

So, did anyone else see The Dark Knight Rises over the weekend and feel like talking about it? Or were Iain and I the only ones who contributed to that (egads!) $160 million opening weekend?

Iain was totally excited about it; I was less so. I'm not sure why, really, since I liked the first two. I think a big part of it is that Christian Bale and I are just done professionally.

But! Despite my unroiled anticipation, and despite its flaws—which include entirely predictable reveals, too much exposition, and a truly pathetic failure to pass the Bechdel Test—I really quite liked the film.

Tom Hardy really pulled off Bane in a big way, which was no easy feat, given that absurd mask and voice alteration so wacky that it was difficult to understand him. Granted, I have a hearing impairment, but even Iain was struggling in parts to catch every line. I am officially a Tom Hardy fan.

Anne Hathaway was great as Catwoman. It was a well-written role, and she did a fine job with it. There were a lot of cheeky lines that could have easily gone cheesy without her ability to finesse them into a shape with an appropriately sharp edge.

Solid supporting cast. Super score. Awesome special effects. If you can see it in IMAX, do. It's a pretty amazing spectacle.

But the thing I liked most about it was the story. Nolan infamously borrowed from Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, which is one of my favorite books, and I liked what he did. I detected what I think was a keen commentary on privilege—which is that it is not enough to have it ripped away to stage a change in management. The nature of privilege is such that the truly meaningful revolution is when those with privilege choose to cede it.

Anyway. What did you think?

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Today in Mitt Romney Is Terrible

image of Mitt Romney looking consternated with the word WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS photoshopped in behind him

Hey, you know how President Obama said that very reasonable thing about how no one who is professionally successfully achieves that success totally on hir own, because of public schools and roads and electrical infrastructure and things? And then Mitt Romney was a huge d-bag about it...?

Ha ha WHOOPS.

Worst candidate ever.

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Daily Dose of Cute

Zelda was a hot dog after her walk yesterday:

image of Zelly with wild eyes and engorged tongue lolling out
"I WOULD LIKE SOME WATER, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!"

image of Zelly with engorged tongue lolling out
"If you don't mind, I'mma just lie here and pant for the next two hours."

I love her little blue-mottled tongue. Just when you think her zany wee grin couldn't possibly get any cuter...BOOM! Out comes the colorful tongue!

[Note: There is always plenty of water awaiting the dogs upon their return to Shakes Manor after a walk, especially on a hot day. They don't actually have to wait for it.]

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Breaking Bad Open Thread

image of Jesse (Aaron Paul) looking troubled, while Walt (Bryan Cranston) is visible over his shoulder in the background

You guys, I think Jesse might be hanging out with a bad crowd.

Last night's episode will be discussed in spoileriffic detail, so if you don't want any spoilers, please pack up your Hungry Hungry Hippo board and move along.

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Top Five

Here is your topic: Top Five Most Hated Platitudes. Go!

Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.

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The Real "Culture of Death": Anti-Contraception

[Content Note: Reproductive rights.]

A phrase that floats around conservative Christian circle, especially Catholic ones, is "culture of death," typically used to describe a world in which abortion and contraception are safe, legal, and readily available. I've long found the phrase a contemptibly Orwellian one; speaking as a person with endometriosis, I'm personally very aware that contraception and abortion save lives.

But it's becoming increasingly clear that not only is that true for individuals, it's true for the human population as a whole. Concerns about population growth seem so 1970s; surely we solved that somewhere around the same time we discovered that polyester didn't have to be double-knit, right? Turns out, not so much:

If birthrates stay where they are, the population is expected to reach 11 billion by midcentury — akin to adding three Chinas.

Under either forecast, scientists say, living conditions are likely to be bleak for much of humanity. Water, food and arable land will be more scarce, cities more crowded and hunger more widespread.

On a planet with 11 billion people, however, all those problems will be worse.

The outcome hinges on the cumulative decisions of hundreds of millions of young people around the globe.

The relentless growth in population might seem paradoxical given that the world's average birthrate has been slowly falling for decades. Humanity's numbers continue to climb because of what scientists call population momentum.

So many people are now in their prime reproductive years — the result of unchecked fertility in decades past, coupled with reduced child mortality — that even modest rates of childbearing yield huge increases.
However you look at the pictures, however you look at the math, it's clear that we are in trouble, and slowing population growth is part of the key to sustainabilty. It's a complex problem with many variables. But one thing that is clearly Not Helping: the anti-contraception, anti-choice movement:
In the U.S., contraception has become entangled in acrimonious battles over abortion, causing some environmental and humanitarian groups to retreat from family planning initiatives....In a notable success, lobbyist Steven W. Mosher helped persuade the administration of President George W. Bush to withhold $34 million to $40 million a year over seven years from the U.N. Population Fund, the largest international donor to family planning programs.

U.S. foreign health aid should be spent saving lives, "not preventing them coming into being," Mosher said in an interview. Like some others in the antiabortion movement, he considers many forms of contraception "chemical abortion" because they prevent embryos from implanting in the womb.
The article details the heartbreaking struggles of poor men and women around the globe trying to access contraception, their needs often unmet because of falling funding from the United States.

So forgive me if I respond bluntly when the "culture of death" is used to describe the allegedly God-offending act of heterosexual people having sex while using contraception. I really don't have time for pompous theological pontificating, and neither does the human race. Because not only is this bullshit killing individuals, it's killing the planet.

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Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by Bill Stickers.

Recommended Reading:

Renee: Playing Generously (or What Would Keanu Do?)

Helen: Comedian Bill Corbett Offers an Alternative Way to Respond After a Public Fuck-Up [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of the use of a transphobic slur.]

Elle: This. Pisses. Me. Off. [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of racism, colorism, body policing, and hostility to consent.]

Resistance: Missouri Judge Denies Guatemalan Mother Custody of Her Son [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of immigration policies hostile to keeping families together.]

Andy: Major League Soccer Cuts Ties with Anti-Gay Boy Scouts of America

FMF News: DNC Chair Supports Marriage Equality in Party Platform

Ragen: What About Preventing Obesity? [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of fat bias and dieting.]

Megan: Actor/Director Sarah Polley on Women's Bodies in Film [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of objectification, fat bias, ageism, body policing, racism.]

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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