How about you?
Open Thread
Hosted by Frankenstein's Monster.
This week's open threads have been hosted by the classic Universal Monsters.
Bonus Weekend Cute
Zelly loooooooves her plushy toys, and, when she gets very excited or just in a generally playful mood, she'll run and get toy after toy from the toybox, then eventually stack them into a little pile when she's done playing. Last night, her plushy toys of choice were a fox, a raccoon, and a snake. And at the end of the evening, she left them all hugged up together like a little plushy family.
It was just a coincidence, of course, but it was SUCH A CUTE ONE!
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
And don't forget to tip your bartender!
This Week, Summarized
Countless people defending Daniel Tosh and the Penn State football lords, while simultaneously denying the existence of rape culture, without a trace of irony.
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by movies from the 1980s.
Recommended Reading:
Andy: Karl Rove and Company's "Sucker-Punch" Ad Strategy
Digby: South Carolina Has Better Things to Spend Its Money on Than People [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of racism.]
Mike: Romney: If You're Poor, It's "Free Stuff." If You're Rich, It's Job Creation.
Helen: A Male Femme Responds to Anti-Trans Feminists [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of gender policing and transphobia.]
Sparky: People of Colour as Extras do not Equal Inclusion [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of racism and tokenism.]
Ragen: The Problem with Fat Civil Rights [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of fat bias and dieting.]
Mannion: The Fatal Diagnosis [Content Note: The post at this link includes a humorous reference to "socking" someone.]
Fannie: Further Observations on People Who Hate Men [Content Note: The post at this link in contains discussion of rape culture, violence, self-harm, and patriarchy.]
Andy: Thomson Reuters Opposes Minnesota's Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment
Pam: Whoooooooooooooops!
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Photos of the Day
President Barack Obama was campaigning in Virginia Beach earlier today, and, naturally, there are ridiculously adorable pictures of him interacting with children:
Quote of the Day
[Content Note: Rape culture; threats.]
"I need you to bear witness to this. Please do not ignore that this happens in my life, in the lives of thousands of women every day. The threat of rape is real when we live in a rape culture."—Cristy Cardinal, also known here as Shaker masculine_lady, in a great piece about the fallout she received after writing about Daniel Tosh.
Today in Mitt Romney Is Very Exasperated by How He's Having to Actually Work for the US Presidency
"I don't understand. Everything else was just handed to me."
The debate over whether Mitt Romney was or was not still running Bain Capital when he said he wasn't rages on, and I'm going to tell you right now: I don't care. By which I mean: I care generally that Mitt Romney is an unethical garbage nightmare who lies about tons of shit and has engaged in unethical and almost certainly criminal professional chicanery, but I don't care to participate in this specific conversation about one aspect of his breathtaking resume of fuckery.
And the reason I don't care is because, even if he did indeed commit a felony, he will not suffer any consequences.
Which pisses me off so thoroughly that I have to restrain myself from investing in this story, lest my ever-depleting reservoir of passion for electoral politics be reduced to a drought-cracked basin of indifference even more quickly than it already is.
In other news: Someone sure wants the pro-choice Condi Rice to be Mitt Romney's running mate, but I cannot believe that it's Mitt Romney. Could be any one of the well-placed funders of his corporate-sponsored campaign. What a fun game of dueling trial balloons Citizens United has made possible!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
Daily Dose of Cute
Earlier today, the Shelter Pet Project posted on its Facebook page: "People are three times more likely to go to a shelter or rescue group for their pet if they've spoken with someone who has. Comment if you promise to talk to someone about your adopted pet before the end of the weekend!"
Three times more likely to rescue! That's a lot!
So, if you rescued a pet, I encourage you to work your companion into a conversation this weekend, if you can! And here's my contribution to that dialogue…
I am often told, and say myself, that we are lucky to have rescued two such amazing dogs. And luck is certainly part of it. Another part is knowing for what type of dog you will make a complementary guardian. Although Iain and I adore bully breeds, and are aware of the dire need for willing adopters of bully breeds, we knew as first-time adult dog owners that we were not prepared to provide a home for a bully breed. Dudley the Greyhound, on the other hand, was the perfect fit for us.
And he needed a home, too!
Another part is jettisoning common prejudices. Zelda was on the fast-track to being put down: She was a stray at a shelter with no known background (including whether she was even housebroken), a black dog, an adult dog, a mixed breed, and totally untrained on a leash. Five strikes. Five reasons that everyone else at the shelter that day was writing her off. They passed her cage like she wasn't even there. She was worth seeing. She was worth my consideration. I have been richly rewarded for giving her a chance.
She is the perfect fit for us, too.
Headline of the Day
[Content Note: Racism; eliminationist violence.]
Care of the Orlando Sentinel: FBI interviews: No evidence Zimmerman a racist.
Federal civil-rights investigators interviewed dozens of George Zimmerman's friends, neighbors and co-workers, and no one said he was a racist, records released Thursday show.LOL! Case closed!
First of all, whether a person's "friends, neighbors, and co-workers" will say zie is racist is absolutely irrelevant to determining whether that person is actually racist, no less whether zie committed a racist hate crime.
There are a lot of people who know me who would say I am not a racist, but guess what? I am. I don't want to be, and I make a serious effort to examine internal prejudices and check my white privilege, but that doesn't erase the fact that I am a human sponge who was socialized in a culture steeped in racism and continue to be bombarded with messages exhorting me to privilege whiteness and treat POC as less than every day of my fucking life.
Was George Zimmerman raised on a different planet? If not, he's probably a racist, too.
The question is whether he acted on that internalized racism. What evidence of that might there be? Well, offhand, murdering a black teenage boy might be a clue.
Chris Serino, the police detective who interviewed Zimmerman the night of the shooting, told agents he thought Zimmerman had pursued Trayvon "based on his attire" and not "skin color."Ah, the old hoodie chestnut again. But would Zimmerman have killed me if he'd seen me walking down the street wearing a hoodie and carrying a soda and Skittles? Probably not. So maybe he's just a sexist. Except I suspect Zimmerman wouldn't have killed Iain, either. So maybe he's just an ageist. Except I suspect that Zimmerman wouldn't have killed Justin Bieber, or any of the millions of white teenaged boys who looks very much like him.
And if George Zimmerman wouldn't have reported, stalked, and killed a white teenage boy who he first noticed walking down the street minding his own business while wearing a hoodie and carrying a soda and Skittles, but did kill Trayvon Martin, well, I think we all know that "attire" isn't the goddamn issue.
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Films of the 1980s. Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Toshgate: Further Context
[Content Note: Rape culture; sexual violence.]
Two things arrived in my inbox this morning giving yet more context to Daniel Tosh's fondness for rape humor:
1. Liberate Zealot forwarded this description of a video that aired in June of last year on Tosh.0, which depicted a penetrative rape. Please note the description describes the sexual assault. Liberate Zealot has a screen capture of the show on which it aired, showing Tosh grinning while watching the video of the assault, here.
2. Shaker QLH forwarded this piece of news about the pilot episode of Daniel Tosh's new animated series:
RumorFix has learned exclusively that producers and editors are scrambling to take out any reference to rape in the pilot episode of Daniel Tosh's new animated series, Brickleberry.Emphasis mine.
Production sources tell RumorFix that Tosh has given them just over 24 hours to make the changes — because the series is scheduled to be shown at Comic-Con in San Diego Friday night.
"Everyone is freaking out, because most of the pilot is about rape," our source says.
I will say again: Daniel Tosh is not merely a comic who asserts his right to tell rape jokes; he is an enforcer of the rape culture.
UPDATE: Rachel S tweeted me another segment that aired on Tosh.0 in which Daniel Tosh exhorted men to touch women without their consent. The video is here, which I have transcribed in its entirety:
Before we go, I'm excited to introduce to you a new segment called "Lightly Touching Women's Stomachs While They're Sitting Down." [laughter] Okay, it's not what you think—this is where you sneak up behind women who are sitting down and lightly put your hand on their stomach. [laughter] Make sure she's aware that you are in fact feeling a roll. [cut to video clip montage of Daniel Tosh sneaking up on three young, conventionally attractive women and feeling their stomachs before walking away, grinning; the first woman looks super uncomfortable; the second woman laughs uncomfortably; the third woman covers her belly and asks plaintively: "Why are you touching my tummy? Don't ever touch my tummy!"] Okay, guys—during our break, I need you to film yourself lighting touching women's stomachs while they're sitting down. But be careful! Because they like to pretend like they don't love it!Rape culture is not just actual acts of sexual violence. It is a spectrum of hostility to consent, and it is a collection of narratives that normalize and encourage hostility to consent, like woman really mean yes even when they're saying no.
Dan Savage Continues to Make Sure It Doesn't Get Better for Fat People
by Brian Stuart, a fat advocate, fat person, and fat admirer, who can be found blogging in a white suit at Red No. 3. Follow him on Twitter: @red3blog.
[Content Note: Fat bias; fat shaming; sexual coercion.]
Dan Savage has something of a history of saying mean and hurtful things. Indeed, he's had something of a history of saying mean and hurtful things about fat people. So it wasn't a surprise that he went to this well again in this week's column. Tiresome, sure, but this behavior has long ceased to be surprising from Dan Savage.
In his column, he responds to a letter from a woman complaining that her husband's weight gain had reduced her sexual interest in him. She feels she should have more frequent sexual encounters with her husband, but would like to use the promise of sex to incentivize manipulate her husband into losing weight at her behest. The writer wants to know if this would be ethical. If you don't know where this is going, congratulations on knowing nothing about Dan Savage. Wish I could say the same.
Now, right here, I'm going to say quite emphatically that it is never ethical to exploit a sexual relationship to fat shame someone. It is never ethical to withhold sex to fat shame someone. It is never ethical to promise sex to fat shame someone. Admittedly, I don't think it's ever ethical to fat shame someone, but using sexual manipulation and coercion is just a whole 'nother level of unethical. As it happens, though, Dan Savage is an enthusiastic supporter of both fat shaming and sexual manipulation.
Well, as long as the guy isn't "weepily sensitive about his weight," as Savage puts it. Which isn't exactly the kind of phrase you'd use if you actually respect the fat person's agency in all this. It's more the kind of phrase you'd use to shame and stigmatize fat people for not being appropriately apologetic about their bodies. If it also seems like a phrase that seems to play off gender roles, congratulations. You may know where Savage is headed with this.
"Weepily sensitive" is the kind of insult used to make a man seem feminine. If you're the sort of person who thinks making a man seem feminine is an insult. Which is just the sort of person Dan Savage is. Further, Dan goes on to passive-aggressively complain that he wouldn't be able to offer the same advice if it were a man writing about his fat wife before dramatically cutting himself off there not wanting to get into the "gendered politics of fat."
Except, of course, that his whole purpose clearly was to get into the gendered politics of fat. Or, perhaps more accurately, his purpose was to present himself as a poor, oppressed martyr to the evil gendered politics of fat. Long-suffering Dan doesn't get to attack fat women. Except he has. Repeatedly. Beleaguered Dan has to make due attacking fat men. Unless they are going to be stupid girls about it. Gosh, it's almost like poor, martyred Dan Savage is just trying to pick a fight with fat women so he'll have a better excuse to attack them in a future column. Which he's done. Repeatedly.
Pick a fight with fat people. Force them to choose between silence, which will be construed as tacit agreement, or responding in their own defense, which will then "prove" that they are oversensitive. Rinse and repeat forever.
Often when we see this kind of provocations of marginalized people, it's attention-seeking. But Dan Savage is a nationally recognized columnist with tons of podcast listeners, book readers, and even an MTV advice show. And, truthfully, attacking fat people doesn't gin up a lot of controversy. Everyone attacks fat people. Sure, everyone likes to feel like they are brave and courageous to attack fat people, but, in reality, it's so incredibly common that it'll hardly stand out. Especially for Dan Savage who picks fights with fat people pretty much annually.
This is for that other reason people pick fights: To put someone in their place.
Dan Savage, champion of an anti-bullying campaign supporting gay children, is really nothing more than a bully himself in his interactions with fat people. He picks fights with fat people just because he likes to insult and attack us. He does it because he enjoys taking it upon himself to enforce thin privilege. He does it because it makes him feel good to shame and belittle people he feels superior to, because he lost weight (and assumes all fat people are fat for the same reasons he was). Like many bullies, he also insists on viewing his bullying as a righteous act. He's not Dan Savage the bully. He's Dan Savage, the glorious hero who finally stood up to fat people.
His little martyr act is especially disingenuous here because he actually has had the opportunity to respond to a husband complaining that his wife has gained weight. Back in 2007. Surprise—he told him to fat shame his wife! Ya know. To be HONEST. After all, Dan notes, some fat people might not realize they are fat and do need to be told that they are fat so they can understand. No really. That's something Dan Savage actually said.
Even though in both cases, the spouses' concerns with their fat partners was clearly purely an issue of sexual attraction, in this article Savage doesn't avoid bringing up health. No surprise to fat people as we're used to people calling us ugly FOR OUR HEALTH. He didn't let it drop then, either. Just as he's now teasing a follow-up bout of fat shaming, in 2007 he devoted a follow-up column to moaning about how awful women are for not taking his abuse with a smile. He even foreshadows the current column at one point by passive-aggressively noting that men could take the prescribed fat shaming.
I imagine some of you may be wondering, "Well, if I can't fat shame my partner, what am I supposed to do?" Excuse me while I wait to be moved to compassion. Look, I don't think you have an obligation to have sex with someone you're not attracted to. It's okay to not be attracted to fat people. What isn't okay is thinking fat people have an obligation to become attractive to you. Yes, even in a marriage.
Bodies change over time. If you really cannot deal with it, then maybe that's a relationship you shouldn't be in. Just don't think your next partner is going to have any more obligation to stay the same weight forever. Writing self-pitying letters to Dan Savage is never a solution.
It's Hot
[USDA graphic via CNN]
CNN: "A severe drought is spreading across the Midwest this summer, resulting in some of the worst conditions in decades and leaving more than a thousand counties designated as natural disaster areas, authorities said. ... As of Tuesday, about 61% of the contiguous United States (excluding Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico) was experiencing drought conditions, the highest percentage in the 12-year record of the U.S. Drought Monitor. ... The past 12 months have been the warmest the United States has experienced since records began in 1895, the climatic data center said."
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker schumannhertz: "What do you like to exclaim when things are going badly?"
If things are going badly in a way that's exasperating me or pissing me off, it's: "For fuck's sake!" But if things are going badly in a way that's troubling, like Dudley mangling his foot for the millionth time, it's: "Oh dear!"
In either case, I am also rather likely to exclaim: "Jesus Jones!"
