Hosted by two burrowing owlets roosting in cups. [Image via.]
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker WCDaisy: In fifteen words or less, what do you wish someone would say to you every single day?
That was a decent effort.
BushQuotes!
Chapter 2, page 16: "The playground at Sam Houston Elementary was next door to Midland Memorial Stadium, where the great Wahoo McDaniel played. He was our hero, the best player on the high-school team. Coach Thermon 'Tugboat' Jones, the legendary football coach, was in his heydey at Midland High School, and we spent fall Friday nights cheering Wahoo and his teammates at the football stadium."
This is a typical passage from this section about growing up in Texas. There was also an egregious number of observations about sand.
Everything in this chapter about the former president's boyhood is written in a manner that suggests every single person reading it will nod along with a wistful sigh at the shared nostalgia, as if undiluted privilege were not an anomaly but the universal mark of a Real American.
[From George Bush's A Charge to Keep, gifted to me by Deeky, because he hates me. In the US, all people who plan to run for president write a shitty book. (Some are less shitty than others, by which I mean the Democrats' books.) A Charge to Keep was George W. Bush's shitty I-wanna-be-president book, published in 1999. I am blogging one random quote per page every day until I have either made my way through the book or lost it behind a couch.]
Photo of the Day
From the Telegraph's Week in Pictures for the week of 6 April 2012: Glowing bioluminescent plankton in the tide line washes up onto a beach on Vaadhoo Island, Raa Atoll, Maldives, with stars above and a ship's lights on the horizon. [Doug Perrine/Barcroft Media]
Telly Threads
Is anyone interested in Open Threads for the new season of The Killing? What about the new season of Nurse Jackie?
If there are any other shows in which you'd love to see an Open Thread, please feel free to make requests in comments, with the understanding that accommodating those requests is naturally dependent on whether one of us is watching a series and has the time and inclination to write and mod OTs.
Number of the Day
Five: The number of myths about Title IX debunked in this great ESPNW piece by Kate Fagan and Luke Cyphers.
Myth No. 4: Schools must spend equally on men's and women's sportsRead the whole thing here.
There is nothing in the language of Title IX that demands equal spending. And few athletic departments spend equally. Almost universally, they spend more on men's programs. A Women's Sports Foundation study found female college athletes received only 35 percent of total athletic expenditures as recently as the 2004-05 school year.
The law allows for a school to spend differently on sports, but those differences can't be discriminatory. If a college has football, men's lacrosse and baseball, those sports are much more expensive to run and outfit. "And that's OK, because there are reasonable differences in sports," Morrison says. "But if you're outfitting your women's programs in substandard equipment, that would not be OK."
The truth is that women's sports still has a small piece of the pie. The NCAA Division I Athletics Programs Report (pdf) contains detailed financial information for all Division I schools; on Page 23, it shows that in 2010, FBS Division I schools spent a median amount of $20,416,000 on men's programs and $8,006,000 on women's.
[H/T to Shaker LucyChi.]
Film Corner!
I'm sure there are people reading this post who love Nicholas Sparks, because he is very popular! He has written somewhere between five and a million novels, which some people find to be super romantic and other people find to be super barfy and there is very little middle ground between the romance and barf camps, and each of those five-to-one-million romance/barf novels have sold fully 30 trillion copies apiece and they have all been made into films starring famous attractive white people, each of which has made like 100 nonillion dollars at the box office (like I said, he's very popular), and now here's another one!
It's called The Lucky One, and if you are one of the people who love Nicolas Sparks, or his books, or the movies they've made of his books, you are probably very happy! Yay for you! Even though I do not share your joy because I hate Nicolas Sparks SO MUCH (Team Barf), please know that I am glad you're happy and that I don't judge anyone for liking Nicholas Sparks because literature and film and the stories we like are very subjective things, and even if it could be objectively determined that his stories are terrible, I like lots of things that are pretty widely regarded as garbage myself, so TO EACH HIR OWN, I say! (I definitely said that first, right? Probably.)
Anyway! To the video clip! And my accompanying paraphrase/commentary! At least one of which will be enjoyable for you whether you are roasting marshmallows at Team Romance or using the buddy system to visit the outhouse at Team Barf!
Male Voiceover, over images of war in Iraqistan: "It was in the morning, after a night raid. I just found it." Cut to a photo of a traditionally pretty young white blonde lady, which is lying in the dust where just before MURDER AND MAYHEM had been. Guitar music. The traditionally handsome young white man, played by real-life traditionally handsome young white man Zac Efron, picks up the photo and turns it over, to find a handwritten note reading Keep Safe X. "In a war, finding something like that—it's like finding an angel in hell."
You know what would make great marketing for this movie? The Lucky One-branded barf bags.
Incoming! BOOM! Oh noes! Zac Efron falls down. I HOPE HE'S OKAY! Oh good he is because the picture magically kept him safe by drawing his attention to its proximity and away from the bomb blast! PHEW!
A black male soldier says, "Things like this don't just happen!" Of course they don't! Whatever "things like this" he's talking about, which is definitely not clear from the clip, they definitely don't just happen. That much is true for sure.
Oh boy, this is a SPECIAL TRAILER, because here comes Nicholas Sparks, "Author," to tell us all about how wonderful and cool and awesome his characters and the story and the movie for which he got paid millions of dollars are!
Nicholas Sparks: "The Lucky One was a very special novel for me to write, because I think Logan is a different character than I've ever created before." Ha ha sure. Has he seen Dear John? You'd think he would have seen Dear John, since he wrote it and everything.
Nicholas Sparks continues describing his revolutionary character played by Zac Efron: "He's your very typical strong, silent type, and yet he's very loyal, and he is being driven by compulsion, you might say, to find this person." Yep. You might say that. Or you might say he's a stalker. Potato potahto.
In case you're not following what's going on here, some dude in Iraqistan finds a picture of a woman in some war wreckage, a picture that probably belonged to one of his fellow servicemembers who was just killed in a night raid. And then he carries the picture and stares at it and falls in love with the person who wrote a note to someone else on its back, and then, when he gets home, he searches for the women in the photo because love. Obviously.
Blah blah Zac Efron thinks this movie that he's in is awesome and the character is soooo cool. "He just knows deep down in his heart that his next mission is to find this girl and to thank her."
Thanks for loving some other dude and giving him your picture and for your picture falling out of his pocket when he was seriously injured and/or killed so that I could notice your picture and then walk over and get it and avoid getting blowed up! HERE I AM! THANK YOU! Just normal stuff.
So off Logan Efron goes to meet "Beth," and he's just about to tell her why he has shown up at her farm or inn or whatever, when she mistakes him for a job-hunter, and OMG YOU GUYS now it would be SO AWKWARD if he just POLITELY CORRECTED HER, so instead he goes along with this job-hunting ruse, which will make the truth WAY LESS AWKWARD LATER after he's worked there for nine thousand years. GOOD PLAN.
More suuuuuuuper boring exposition about the obvious garbage plot of this shitty movie from Nicholas Sparks. More suuuuuuuper clunky scenes, like Blythe Danner observing to Beth Photoface how handy it is to have Logan Efron around the old farm, since every farm needs men to properly function. It's a fact—look it up!
Blythe Danner says some shit about destiny. Really? Is this a real movie? Is someone playing a trick on me? Am I being Prank'd? I bet Deeky just made this trailer to fool me into believing this is a real film produced by a real Hollywood movie studio. That must be it, because NO WAY DID SOMEONE SPEND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO MAKE THIS PILE OF GARBAGE.
Anyway! We'll deal with how Deeky knows Blythe "Gwyneth Paltrow's Mom" Danner and kept it a secret from me all these years later. Right now, there is AN IMPORTANT PLOT POINT you need to know about. If you guessed "Beth Photoface has a kid and that kid has a dad and he thinks he owns the place ooh how we hate him!" give yourself 1,000 barf bags.
Now here is something Nicholas Sparks actually says for real I am not making this up, while violin music plays: "They're just overcoming these obstacles and it takes time as it often does in the real world for people to first become friends and then to trust each other and then to fall in love, and this is a film that portrays that realistic journey toward a strong relationship very faithfully."
HA HA DEFINITELY! He is spot-on! The realistic journey toward a strong relationship always begins with stalking and deceit, and if there's one thing that faithfully portrays the real realism of the real world, it's how war and domestic violence are useful plot points in all our journeys to true love. It's almost TOO REALISTIC!
Well, anyway, the GOOD NEWS is that Logan Efron squirts some strength juice into Beth Photohead while they're fucking, which obviously entails lots of slamming up against walls, and now she can stand up to Meanie Babydaddy. THANK JESUS JONES! Cue the alt-pop track.
Whooooooooooooooops Meanie Babydaddy is a cop and finds the picture of Beth Photohead that Logan Efron's been carrying around and gives it to her. WHAT'S THE EXPLANATION?! Well, isn't it obvious? The explanation is that I LOVE YOU, BETH! Montage of dismay. What an unexpected reversal this is! I HOPE THEY CAN GET PAST THIS MINOR MISUNDERSTANDING ABOUT LOGAN EFRON BEING A SUPERCREEP!
I mean, a super romantic who believes in DESTINY, Beth! Don't you believe in DESTINY, Beth?! God, Beth, you are so terrible!
Here's a lady producer to explain that women all wish these stories would happen to them. Ha ha no.
Love. Destiny. Alt-pop. Make-out montagery. Sunsets. Sunrises. "Why did you come here?" she asks. "To find you," he replies.
Find out more at www.barf.omg.
Buh-Bye
Rick Santorum is suspending his campaign.
He will make an announcement shortly, and he will almost certainly say that he wants to spend more time with his family, including one of his daughters who is ill. A lot of politicians say that; very few of them genuinely mean it. Santorum means it.
Whether he says it or not, the main reason is nonetheless because he cannot win, and because he does not want to lose the primary in his home state, which could further damage his political career.
In any case, good riddance.
Let the Wild Rumpus Begin!
Speaking of the President being likeable, please enjoy this amazing collection of images of President Obama reading Where the Wild Things Are during the White House Easter Egg Roll.
The above gif was "created by The Atlantic's resident photo and video goddess, Kasia Cieplak-Mayr von Baldegg. The original photos are by The Associated Press' Susan Walsh." Thanks to Jessica Luther, aka scATX, for the heads up!
[From the Wayback Machine: Girls 4 Obama.]
Daily Dose of Cute
Video Description: Zelly sits in the backyard, keeping an eye on things. Her nose twitches; her eyes dart; her wee Dorito ears stand at alert. She watches. Once convinced everything's cool for now, she turns to go lie at my side. I scan past her to find Dudley lying in the grass, moving his head around trying to find the most comfortable position for his lounging.
In fairness to Lord Dudlington, he can give good alert when he really wants to. It's the "really wants to" that's the scarcer resource.
[Parts One, Two, Three.]
Quote of the Day
"The president has already taken so many steps in the direction of freedom to marry that he has a lot to gain and very little to lose in completing his journey. This is where the party is. This is its vision for the future. … And it's where the president ought to be."—Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry, one of many marriage equality groups advocating the inclusion of support for same-sex marriage in the Democratic Party platform this election.
I couldn't agree more. It's time to evolve already, Mr. President. Support for marriage equality is where fierce advocacy begins.
See also: Nancy Pelosi and Elizabeth Warren.
But What About the Men?!
I can't decide if my very favorite thing about this "But What About the Men?!" article discussing national election polling is the headline or the opening paragraph.
I mean, the headline is pretty good: "Taking a Different Look at the Gender Gap." Sure. Because no one's ever had the revolutionary idea to examine a gender gap and radically posit, "Ignore what it says about women so we can TALK ABOUT MEN!" What a great and definitely different "look at the gender gap."
But the opening paragraph is a strong contender, too:
I have found over the years that when a narrative works its way into the collective wisdom, there is no way of changing it. So my goal here is quite modest: to get at least a handful of people to pause, take a deep breath and simply chew over the data a bit before using it to draw unshakable conclusions.Engaging the trope of the female (or woman-focused) hysteric right in the lede is pretty great, don't you think? Pause, take a deep breath, and stop being so goddamn irrational.
Amazing.
I just can't figure out why it is that more women aren't engaged in US politics, when it is so inviting and respectful to us.
Primarily Barfy
At some point, the general election is going to start in earnest, at which point this series will change from Primarily X to Generally X. I can't wait for that day to come! Partly because that means I won't have to think about Ron Paul for another four years, but mostly because it means we're one step closer to this election being over. And you know what that means: A re-elected President Obama and his second-term socialist wonderland! I CAN'T WAIT!
But first they've got to come up with a campaign slogan. Personally, I like "Yes, We Promise To!" and "Hope for Change!" Or maybe "Twelve-Dimensional Chess Just Got Thirteenier!" Something that really captures the gossamer promise of progress on which this administration will never meaningfully deliver, while also conveying the smug joy of being the only electable option in the US besides a Republican garbage nightmare.
Speaking of Republican garbage nightmares, here is my favoritest Newt Gingrich headline of the day: Gingrich All But Quits Presidential Campaign. Ha ha awwwwwww! Poor Newt Gingrich! Everybody hates him, nobody loves him, and he's gonna sit in the corner and eat wet cigarette butts! SO THERE!
But not before he attends just oooooooooooone moooooooooooore campaign event!
Blah blah Rick Santorum.
Mitt Romney, who is such a terrible candidate that even though he has obviously been the only viable nominee for months there are still three dipshits wasting time and money trying to figure out a way to stop his inevitable ascension to the ranks of the Lost to Barack Obama Club—
—is currently losing by double-digits to the President on key issues like "who would do a better job of protecting the middle class, addressing women's issues, handling international affairs and dealing with health care," i.e. things that matter. And: "On personal traits, the president's edge is even bigger: He has a better than 2-to-1 advantage as the more friendly and likable of the two, and nearly that margin as 'more inspiring'."
I frankly can't believe it's only two to one. It should be ten jillion to one. I may grouse about the President when he disappoints, because I want him to do better, but that's policy shit. He seems so much more genuinely down-to-earth, and is personally so much more inspiring, than Mitt Romney, that there isn't a scale in the multiverse sufficiently diverse in its measure to record the disparity between the two of them.
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
Trayvon Martin Updates
[Content Note: Racism and violence.]
George Zimmerman, the man who shot and killed unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin and still remains free, has launched his own website, to give "the facts" and solicit donations. I won't link directly to the site; it's easy enough to find if you're so inclined. The site features this image:
The image is of a vandalized wall at Ohio State University's black cultural center. Zimmerman accompanies it with a note reading:
"A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed" - Henrik, IbsenJudd at Think Progress notes that the other image on the site, of a hand-written protest sign reading "Justice for Zimmerman," is "from a rally held by Koran-burning pastor Terry Jones."
This page is dedicated to persons whom have displayed their support of Justice for All.
Thank you,
George Zimmerman
Well, I'm certainly convinced.
The rest of the site is self-pitying garbage, as the only suffering Zimmerman cares about is his own: "On Sunday February 26th, I was involved in a life altering event which led me to become the subject of intense media coverage. As a result of the incident and subsequent media coverage, I have been forced to leave my home, my school, my employer, my family and ultimately, my entire life."
Boo fucking hoo. The profundity of my contempt for this guy is truly cavernous. The passive voice, the lack of accountability, the aggressive gall of complaining about how his life has changed after taking someone else's away altogether. Seethe.
Even if the killing of Trayvon Martin went down exactly as George Zimmerman has claimed (and I do not believe that it did), this is a wildly unacceptable attitude. To be indignant about public scrutiny after killing another person, even if it's in self-defense, is absurd. And it doesn't jibe with the image we're meant to have of Zimmerman, per his lawyers and father—that of a man with deep remorse over being obliged to take a regrettable action.
He sounds instead like a petulant jerk whose only regret is that not everyone is buying the bullshit story he's peddling, especially after he thought he'd already gotten away with it.
And he may still.
Other recommended reading:
Associated Press: Special Prosecutor Won't Take Trayvon Martin Death to Florida Grand Jury, Still Investigating.
A grand jury will not look into the Trayvon Martin case, a special prosecutor said Monday, leaving the decision of whether to charge the teen's shooter in her hands alone and eliminating the possibility of a first-degree murder charge.Ann Hornaday in the Washington Post—America Loves a Vigilante. Until We Meet One.
That prosecutor, Angela Corey, said her decision had no bearing on whether she would file charges against George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watch volunteer who has said he shot the unarmed black teen in self-defense. Corey could still decide to charge him with a serious felony such as manslaughter, which can carry a lengthy prison sentence if he is convicted.
It's easy to understand the enduring appeal of the vigilante archetype, whose hard-charging moral certainty jibes perfectly with this country's sense of exceptionalism, not to mention the narrative constraints of a 90-minute action movie. It's far more difficult to reconcile complicated reality with the simplistic, comforting fictions we crave.Please feel welcome and encouraged to leave other links and recommendations in comments.
After all, contradictions don’t have easy character arcs. Mutual comprehension doesn't lend itself to ballistic showdowns. Self-examination and second thoughts are notoriously un-telegenic. But as audiences look forward to another summer of vigilante derring-do, whether by way of Bruce Wayne or Ben Stiller, they may want to take a moment to remember George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin, and ask whether some of the stories we keep telling ourselves can ever really have a happy ending.
Question of the Day
Suggested by Aphra_Behn: If someone were to make the wacky sitcom version of your life, what actor should play you?
Melissa McCarthy, obvs.
Today in Your Feminist Backlash
The Hunger Games trilogy is now among the most frequently challenged books in the US. Of course it is.
The Hunger Games movie may not have had trouble earning a PG-13 rating, but many parents and educators are wondering whether the best-selling book trilogy belongs on library shelves. The American Library Association's Office for Intellectual Freedom released its annual list of most frequently challenged books of 2011 yesterday, and the increased popularity of Suzanne Collins' dystopian saga — in large part fueled by buzz surrounding the blockbuster film — drove the books higher on the list. In 2010, only the first novel cracked the top ten at number five. In 2011, all three books occupy the number three position, and the complaints have grown more varied: "anti-ethnic; anti-family; insensitivity; offensive language; occult/satanic; violence."As per usual, the list of "offensive" books are almost exclusively female-authored.
Photo of the Day
US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton boards her plane at the Ataturk International Airport, on April 1, 2012 in Istanbul. [Getty Images]You know what happened next, right...? Boom!
Guess Who Loves You Like a Love Song, Baby?
James Franco on WhoSay
[Video Description: James Franco in the front seat of a car, being filmed from the back seat, lip-synching to Selena Gomez & The Scene's "Love You Like a Love Song."]
What—did you think James Franco didn't love you like a love song? You're so weird. Obviously he does.
