Shakesville

Primarily Awful

image of Mitt Romney during an interview at Fox News

This is just a neat picture of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney doing GREAT during a television interview. He did such a good job! Ha ha just kidding. He was awful. He really "pulled a Mitt Romney," as the kids say. (The kids are definitely saying that.) Has anyone else noticed that Mitt Romney is kind of a terrible candidate? Oh, everyone else has? Cool.

In other Mitt Romney news, in addition to the daily news that he is terrible, Mitt Romney says he does not have a secret deal with Ron Paul. Sure, sure. Likely story. We might believe that, Mitt Romney, if making a secret deal with the other candidate who is barely a viable candidate at all and is even less appealing to your base than Newt Gingrich and Rick fucking Santorum weren't a totally Mitt Romney thing to do! That kind of TERRIFIC wheeling and dealing has Mitt Romney written ALL OVER IT!

Question: Will it surprise you to hear that Mitt Romney is a huge hypocrite on yet another issue? No? Me neither!

Moving on to Santorumier waters, Rick Santorum is definitely the candidate with his pulse on the important issues of our time. With millions of USians un- or underemployed, millions of USians filing for bankruptcy, millions of USians losing their homes to foreclosure, millions of USians lacking access to healthcare, millions of USians experiencing food insecurity, millions of USians still lacking the basic rights and equality promised to them as citizens, and the nation's infrastructure dangerously crumbling, Rick Santorum "has promised to crack down on the distribution of pornography if elected."

Tremendous. You know you've definitely hit on a real roof-raiser of an idea when it looks like it was yanked straight from the pages of Joe Lieberman's 2002 playbook.

For the record, I'm not unsympathetic to concerns about pornography. Anyone who's concerned about sexual objectification, dehumanization, rape culture, and human trafficking has concerns about pornography and the industry which creates it. But I don't think the solution to addressing those issues is treating access to pornography like an on-off switch, and creating a black market that will actually more deeply entrench the serious problems with porn—among which is not that enjoyment of sex for pleasure is yucky.

But I digress. Porn consumption is not on-topic for this thread. That Rick Santorum is a grody hater of pleasure-sex is.

image of Rick Santorum saying 'Seriously, can you stop talking about doing it for fun? It's making me feel like I might barf or poop my pants.'

image of Rick Santorum saying 'Seriously, can you stop talking about doing it for fun? It's making me feel like I might barf or poop my pants.'

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Johnny Hates Jazz: "Shattered Dreams"

Release the Clinton!

image of Liam Neeson in Clash of the Titans saying 'Release the Clinton!' and with an image of the Kraken rising out of the sea, only the Kraken has been replaced by Hillary Clinton making her 'I am so contemptuous at being obliged to have this conversation again' face.

Last night in comments, Shaker Jadelyn shared her friend's image of a meme via STFU Conservatives in which Hillary Clinton is unleashed to battle the Feminist Backlash.

If you knew, as soon as you read that comment, that I was going to do my own version starring Hillary Clinton making that face, please give yourself 1,000 points.

Two things I love about Release the Clinton:

1. I love that it completely turns on its head the narrative as Hillary Clinton as a monster. There are SO MANY TERRIBLE PHOTOSHOPS by conservatives of Clinton as a monster in the Google image search, but here is a picture of Hillary Clinton as a "monster" that does not demean her power, but celebrates it.

2. I love the implicit commentary on how President Obama outsources the "woman's work" to Secretary Clinton.

Today in Your Feminist Backlash

[Content Note: Misogyny in myriad forms.]

1. Recounting yesterday's news: The Obama administration is officially partnering the US government with Curves, whose CEO is virulently anti-choice; the Republican Pennsylvania Governor says women et. al. can "close their eyes" during mandated transvaginal ultrasounds; 55% of all reproductive-age US women now live in a state hostile to abortion rights; the Republicans don't want to support the Violence Against Women Act if it includes queer and migrant women; and Bill Maher's not a misogynist—he's just a pottymouth.

2. The state of Texas has lost its entire Women's Health Program, 90% of the funding for which came from the federal government in the form of Medicaid, because Republican Governor Rick Perry implemented legislation that "disqualified Planned Parenthood from participating in the program because some of its clinics provide abortions, even though no state or federal money can be used to pay for those abortions." Thus Texas broke federal Medicaid rules "by discriminating against qualified family planning providers," forced the Center for Medicaid and State Operations to cancel their contact with the state, and now potentially leaves 130,000 low-income women a year without access to cancer screenings, contraceptives, and basic health care.

3. The Catholic Bishops have announced they're going to make defeating birth control coverage in the preventive care package of the Affordable Care Act their top priority. Ha ha good thing President Obama made that compromise to accommodate their concerns! Anyway: "The US Conference of Catholic Bishops also announced plans to launch a broader campaign against state and local laws that they believe infringe on religious freedom, including restrictions limiting the rights of religious groups to use public schools as place of worship and those that limit religious organizations on college campuses." Obviously fighting rape victims one-by-one to deny them restitution is on the list, too.

4. In other Catholic Bishops news, Reuters reports that the Catholic Bishops pressured Komen to rescind their funding of Planned Parenthood. Quelle surprise! It's so neat how invested the Catholic Bishops are in undermining women's health! JUST LIKE JESUS WOULD DO!

5. Michelle Goldberg takes a look at the new frontier in abortion legislation: Allowing doctors to withhold information from their pregnant patients if they believe the information might result in their terminating the pregnancy. It's a particular irony, given that, at the same time, "women have a right to all the information" is being used to justify mandatory ultrasound legislation.

Of course, looking for intellectual and ethical consistency in the "pro-life movement" is the biggest waste of fucking time on the planet.

Open Thread

Hosted by the Pac-Man board game.

Question of the Day

What the fuck?

The Gift of Being Valued

Eleven years ago today, Iain and I met online. I have told stories of our meeting and courtship many times, and have threaded snapshots of our marriage throughout the days and months and years of writing in this space, but today, on another day in a seemingly endless string of days where I am left feeling hated by virtue of my womanhood, I want only to share this about my partner: Iain is a man who digs women.

I don't mean that he is a lothario, or even a flirt. I don't mean that he's a guy who is friends almost exclusively with women. He's just a dude who thinks that the women in his life—and lots of other women he admires from afar, politicians and writers and athletes and musicians and scientists—are cool. His wife, his friends, his friends' female partners, my friends, his step-sister, her girlfriend, his coworkers. He values us.

He's not a super political guy, but he will tell you in no uncertain terms that women deserve to be safe, to have a voice in the political process, to have access to employment, healthcare, educational opportunities, equal pay; that we deserve to be treated with respect and dignity; that we deserve these things because we are human, and human rights are women's rights; and that our rights, and our autonomy, and our personhood, should not be up for debate.

When I cry or rage or despair because they are, he listens—and he doesn't tell me not to worry about it, because he knows I can't.

image of Iain on a boat, with windswept hair

I'm not trying to say that Iain is a perfect feminist ally who always "gets it." He's not. (Fuck, I'm not.) But what he is, is a guy whose nearly undiluted privilege means, for all practical purposes, he doesn't have to give a shit about the war on women et. al. being waged in this country, his adopted home, but who cares anyway because it's the right goddamn thing to do.

That shouldn't be remarkable. But it is. And his horror and his anger at what's happening makes me feel like I matter. It makes me feel loved. Among the many reasons I love him is that he has given me the gift of his outrage on my behalf. He is my friend and ally, above all else. And I his, right back.

Thank you, babe.

LOL FOREVER

[Content Note: Misogynist slurs.]

Bill Maher says he is "a pottymouth, not a misogynist."

LOL. I beg to differ.

image of Bill Maher shrugging with a grin, to which I have added text reading: 'What? I only called Sarah Palin a cunt like 2,000 times!'

Quote of the Day

[Content Note: Domestic violence; more woman-hating.]

"Obviously, you want to be for the title."—US Senator from Missouri Roy Blunt (R-Eprobate), on how the Republicans totally for sure definitely want to support the Violence Against Women Act, or at least its title, but Democrats make it impossible by inserting icky things like protections for same-sex couples and undocumented immigrants.

Oh the humanity, etc.

"I favor the Violence Against Women Act and have supported it at various points over the years, but there are matters put on that bill that almost seem to invite opposition," said Senator Jeff Sessions, Republican of Alabama, who opposed the latest version last month in the Judiciary Committee. "You think that's possible? You think they might have put things in there we couldn't support that maybe then they could accuse you of not being supportive of fighting violence against women?"

Senator Sessions, and his reprehensible colleagues, fail to understand that lack of support for the renewal of this legislation is "not being supportive of fighting violence against women," given that their argument is essentially only women of whom they approve, i.e. cis female citizens in different-sex relationships, are deserving of state support.

Republicans say the measure, under the cloak of battered women, unnecessarily expands immigration avenues by creating new definitions for immigrant victims to claim battery. More important, they say, it fails to put in safeguards to ensure that domestic violence grants are being well spent. It also dilutes the focus on domestic violence by expanding protections to new groups, like same-sex couples, they say.

"Protect the sanctity of traditional domestic violence!"—The GOP.

Number of the Day

55%: The percentage of "all reproductive-age US women [who] lived in a state hostile to abortion rights in 2011, up significantly from 31% in 2000, according to a new Guttmacher Institute policy analysis. The increase is the result of a dramatic shift in the abortion policy landscape at the state level over the past decade, including a record number of abortion restrictions that were enacted in 2011."

a graph showing the increased legislative hostility toward abortion rights over the last decade

The analysis finds that most states—35 in total—remained in the same category in all three years (click here for a map illustrating the change over time). However, of the 15 states whose abortion policy landscape changed substantially, all became more restrictive.

Welcome to the feminist backlash.

Maybe the fact that reproductive rights advocates and activists have been raising the red flag about the rightwing's chipping strategy for years could finally put paid to the habit of dismissing as crazy! hysterical! bitches! feminist/womanist women and our allies every time we have the unmitigated temerity to ask to be heard on some concern that hasn't made it to the front page of the New York Times yet...?

HA HA JUST KIDDING. I'LL SHOW MYSELF OUT.

Daily Dose of Cute

Video Description: Sophie the Torbie plays with her favorite toy and is her usual infectiously adorable self. Set to "When You're Smiling" by Billie Holiday, accompanied by Teddy Wilson & His Orchestra.

Sophie lies on the floor, hugging a plushy chipmunk

Sophie lies on the floor, hugging a plushy chipmunk

Sophie is also a fan of the doggehs' chipmunks.

Lie Back and Think of Erie

[Content Note: Rape culture; transvaginal ultrasound legislation.]

Male reporter (off-screen): I apologize if you've already said publicly—where do you stand on that ultrasound bill that seemed to stir things up in the House?

Governor Tom Corbett: Well, I mean, we made a statement during the campaign...I wouldn't change it, um, as long as it's not obtrusive, um, but we're still waiting to see.

Reporter: Is making them watch...does that go too far in your mind?

Corbett: I'm not making anybody watch [clears throat], okay? 'Cause you just have to close your eyes. Uh, but as long as it's on the exterior [gestures at stomach] and not interior, okay?

Via Amanda at Think Progress, the above video, of an exchange between a reporter and Republican Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett about Pennsylvania's proposed (but currently shelved) transvaginal ultrasound bill, illuminates just how absurd the reproductive rights debate in this country has become.

Here are two dudes talking about reproductive rights, and the elected official clearly has no idea what the parameters of the bill actually are. As Amanda notes: "While the Pennsylvania legislation has been amended to remove references to invasive transvaginal ultrasounds, the language suggests a transvaginal ultrasound could still be required if the embryo is too small."

And not only is the governor clueless about his party's own heinous legislation, he can't even talk about female (and occasionally not-female) body parts in an adult fashion, making crude gestures to his stomach while referring uncomfortably to "the exterior" and "the interior."

Which is to say nothing of his incredible suggestion that women "close their eyes" during a mandated ultrasound, revolting enough when it's an unsolicited non-penetrative ultrasound, but catapulting into the realm of the truly vile when made in regard to what can amount to rape—of both patient and practitioner.

What of the practitioners who are obliged by law to vaginally penetrate a patient coerced by hir government to "consent" to the procedure in cases where it is not medically necessary, Governor Corbett? Should they just close their eyes, too?

[H/T to @scATX.]

A Query

I have a question for all the people who incessantly harangued me during the last election regarding my skepticism about then-candidate Barack Obama's fidelity to the preservation of reproductive rights: Remember how you spat at me that it would be MY FAULT!!!!1!!eleventy!! if John McCain were elected, resulting in an erosion of reproductive rights? Well, whose fault it is, in your estimation, that reproductive rights have traveled backwards 30 years while Barack Obama's been in office?

Don't answer that. It's rhetorical.

I already know that's somehow my fault, too.

*that face*

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Waterfront: "Cry"

From the You Can't Make This Shit Up Files

[Content Note: Reproductive rights.]

The Office on Women's Health, a division of the Department of Health and Human Services, has announced that it is teaming up with franchised women's fitness corporation Curves to promote National Women's Health Week, despite the fact that Curves' founder and CEO, Gary Heavin, is virulently anti-choice.

Kate Sheppard at Mother Jones—Obama Administration Partners With Anti-Abortion Magnate's Gym:

Heavin, a born-again Christian, has been outspoken about his opposition to abortion over the years, and has given hundreds of thousands of dollars to organizations that support so-called crisis pregnancy centers that aim to discourage women from seeking abortions. "There's nothing healthy about abortion," he told Today's Christian in a 2004 interview. "I'm not afraid to tell the truth." He was also critical of abortion in an interview with Women's eNews in 2004 that also noted Curves was one of the first companies to pull support from Susan G. Komen for the Cure over the grants it provides to Planned Parenthood for breast cancer screenings...

Curves also drew some attention in 2009 for partnering with the American Family Association's radio programs, a pro-life and anti-gay group.

And yet, the Obama administration evidently believes Heavin's a great partner with which to promote women's health, listing Curves as an official partner for National Women's Health Week.

The partnership includes events to "educate and inform women on a variety of health and wellness topics" at Curves locations that HHS will promote on its website and its Facebook and Twitter feeds. Curves is also providing coupons for free one-month memberships to anyone who attends a NWHW events, and providing free publicity for the week in the franchise's in-house magazine, Diane. The agreement also designates May 17 as "National Curves Day," which HHS will promote in its materials.

So, just to be clear, the Obama administration is officially promoting a corporation run by a man who donates large amounts of his corporate profits to anti-choice organizations, under the auspices of "women's health."

A spokesman for the Department of Health and Human Services did not respond to a request for comment at press time.

I'll bet not.

BushQuotes!

Chapter 1, page 3: "It's hard not to take a political loss personally; after all, it's your own name spelled out there on the ballot. Yet if you believe in the wisdom of the voters, as I do, you get over the disappointment, accept the verdict, and move on."

A Charge to Keep, Copyright © 1999.

Bush v. Gore, 531-US98 2000.

Can We Talk About Joshua Ledet for a Minute?

So, last night, I'm watching American Idol (I know, I know!), and no one is really doing all that great, and none of the people I really liked even made it to the top wev anyway, and Scottie McCreery blah blah, and I'm just thinking, "Ya know, I think I'm just going to skip this season."

Which is when Joshua Ledet came out and did THIS:

Video Description: Joshua Ledet, a young black man, singing the everloving shit out of "When a Man Loves a Woman."

Aw crap.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

Primarily Endless

image of Rick Santorum speaking with a raised finger, to which I have added text reading 'And if there's one thing you remember about me, remember this: I AM A GARBAGE NIGHTMARE!!!'

There are very few immutable truths in US politics. "Ronald Reagan can't win." "Al Gore is a sure thing." "Vote for Barack Obama and he'll defend reproductive choice." Whoops, whoops, and whooooooooops! The political landscape is ever changing, and just when you think you're certain of something, suddenly George W. Bush is up in your White House, heh-hehing the country straight off the cliff. But there is ONE THING that you always count on to never, ever, never, ever, never, ever change. And that is the fact that Rick Santorum is a garbage nightmare.

This one glimmer of consistency in an uncertain world might be reassuring, if it weren't for the fact that Rick Santorum, one of the most vile specimens of unrepentant privilege-defending bullying to ever stride across a flag-bedecked stage, is inching his way toward the Republican nomination for the US presidency.

Misogynistic inch by homophobic inch by racist inch by Christian Supremacist inch.

Here's a FUN STORY about what a neat candidate Rick Santorum is: On March 18, Puerto Rico will hold a primary, and Santorum traveled to the US territory yesterday to campaign, where he told its residents that they need to learn to speak English! "Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law. And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language." HA HA that is not only ethically wrong; it is also factually wrong! There is no federal statute requiring English as an official or primary language as a condition of statehood.

GOOD JOB AS ALWAYS, RICK SANTORUM! I just can't get ENOUGH of watching you mangle law, history, religion, and decency on the campaign trail!

!Ricardo Santorum es una pesadilla de basura!

In related news, Rick Santorum suddenly has a better chance in Illinois, after failing to qualify for the ballot, since Mitt Romney's Illinois state campaign chair declined to challenge Santorum's failure to meet signature requirements in 10 of the state's 18 congressional districts. Guess why? If you guessed "because Romney picked some douche who wants to run for governor and thus doesn't want to piss off other Republicans in his state," give yourself 1,000 points! WELCOME TO ILLINOIS, MITT ROMNEY!

And, hey, when you're done having a pout in the parlor about how shitty your very shitty campaign is, pull yourself together and GET ON MESSAGE, any message at all, before the Republican Establishment actively facilitates a brokered convention and pays Jeb Bush a trillion dollars to accept the nomination.

Something something Ron Paul cutting a deal with Mitt Romney. Never has such a fine deal been struck since Ron Paul's granny, Ayn Rand Paul, struck a deal with the Titanic.

image of the sinking Titanic and a rowboat full of people, one of whom is saying 'You and me, kid! We'll take the whole world by storm, I tells ya!'

image of the sinking Titanic and a rowboat full of people, one of whom is saying 'You and me, kid! We'll take the whole world by storm, I tells ya!'

In other news, Newt Gingrich is a human being who is running for president in the United States of America, and he is "staying in this race." Great news for us all, I'm sure.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

Open Thread

Hosted by Dark Tower. OMG I am not worthy.

Question of the Day

What was the last film you saw in the theater?

I'm pretty sure the last thing I saw in the theater was Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, which I loved because: A. This scene literally had me writhing in my seat and giggle-screeching like a monkey for what felt like an eternity; and B. Say what you will about Tom Cruise (just don't say it here because it's not on-topic!), but the man is a classic movie star with a megawatt grin who is perfectly suited to fill the lead in a movie where he gets to say stuff like "woohoo!"

In a world full of chaos and dismay, his eminent competency at doing this:

Tom Cruise grinning and wearing sunglasses

—is as reassuring as it is happy-making. Good job, Tom Cruise!