"What?"
"What?"
"What?!"
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by gently falling snow.
Recommended Reading:
scatx: On Mandated Transvaginal Ultrasounds [Content Note: The post at this link contains an image of and discussion of transvaginal ultrasounds.]
Tami: Whitney's "Home Going" and the Spiritual Divide [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of racism and Othering.]
Lisa: Welcome Back 1950s - We missed you...um...not really. [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of sexual violence, stalking, and the effects of limiting reproductive choice.]
Alex: Gamers Launch Harassment Campaign Against BioWare Writer [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of harassment, threats, misogyny, and homophobia.]
Eesha: Hillary Clinton Says "Culture" Is No Excuse for Female Genital Cutting
s.e.: Reproductive Parts [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of the dehumanization associated with limiting reproductive choice.]
Fannie: So, You Want To Teach the Lady Feminists?
Echidne: Defiant Hair! On Michelle Duggar's Tips For All Subjugated Wives.
Grace: Meaningful Accountability vs. Silencing Criticism [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of violence, predation, and abuse.]
Andy: Obama Sings 'Sweet Home Chicago' at the White House
Finally: Do you want to know how much it would cost to build the Death Star? Sure you do!
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Not Crazy
[Content Note: Reproductive rights; ableism.]
Related to this previous thought about the efficacy of contraception as a wedge issue, I'm also seeing a lot of variations on the argument that conservatives' attack on contraception is really exposing their grody retrofuck attitudes about sex and/or women.
And I keep wondering: Exposing it to whom?
Are there people who really don't know or understand that a significant segment of the US' rightwing are deeply hostile to notions of consent, autonomy, and choice? Are undeterrably anti-choice? Are of the fervent belief that women's primary function is babymaking?
It is my estimation that pretty much everyone already knows that. The problem that led us to this moment is not ignorance; the problem is that the vast majority of the people who don't share the extremists' view did not take them seriously, and did not view this assault on reproductive rights—including contraception—as a logical outgrowth of an extreme anti-choice and anti-feminist position, but instead dismissed it out of hand with smug ableism: They're crazy. They're wackos. They're nutbags. They're batshit nuts. They're the lunatic fringe.
Nope. They're very rational, patient, determined, and methodical actors, who have been quietly waging war on reproductive rights in state legislatures for decades.
They're not insane. They're cruel and they're wrong.
They're also very well-funded, and happy to be ignored, dismissed as maniacs, so they can toil away in the blessed darkness of inattention.
They're also, by the way, extremely appreciative that feminist critics sounding the alarm have been similarly dismissed as paranoid hysterics, as well.
What is being exposed is not their attitude. What is being exposed is their influence—and the regrettable ways in which progressives have actually abetted it.
Whoops.
Happy Birthday, Aphra Behn!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You look like a radical Girrrrrrrrl Scouuuuuuuut!
And you smell like one, tooooooooooooo!
Mmm...Samoas!
Primarily Stupid
GOOD MORNING! If you are still maintaining maximum enthusiasm for the TOTALLY EXCITING AND VERY AWESOME Republican Primary, please check this box: □
If you failed to check the enthusiasm box, perhaps this will help pump your enthusiasm back to maximum enthusiosity:
[Click to embiggen. Source.]
Terrific headline. Good job! Give them ALL the Pulitzers.
It's really the monster hands in the accompanying image that really make it, I think. Rrrrowwwrrr! I am the demon-lord of the Cumming rally!
Speaking of demons and Rick Santorum, watch out because the devil's gonna gitcha! That's what
He then went on to say something rather remarkable: "If they want to dig up old speeches of me talking to religious groups, they can go ahead and do so, but I'm going to stay on message and I'm going to talk about things that Americans want to talk about, which is creating jobs, making our country more secure, and yeah, taking on the forces around this world who want to do harm to America, and you bet I will take them on."
But I'm going to stay on message. Santorum basically just flatly admitted he's concealing his extremist garbage beliefs in order to make himself more electable. Which, of course, all politicians do, but few of them are stupid enough to admit it so bluntly. And few of them have objectionable positions as wildly objectionable as Rick Santorum's.
"The devil made me do it!"—Rick Santorum.
It was probably also the devil that made him pro-choice until he decided to run for office and did some Bob Morris-style research that convinced him he should totes be a misogynist anti-choice fuckhead instead.
It really makes you wonder what goes through this guy's head. (No it doesn't. His head is a scary place.) Luckily, one of my top secret sources got a hold of Rick Santorum's notebook, so we could get a gander at what he doodles during those boring campaign events.
I'm worried about Rick Santorum, y'all.
MOVING ON!
Something something Ron Paul. Liberty, freedom, liberty, freedom, forcible pregnancy, honest rape. It's in the Constitution! Look it up.
Newt Gingrich is definitely still in the race, and he is being urged to be himself in the next debate, which is tonight, because there hasn't been a debate in literally five minutes. Great advice! PERFECT, even. Be yourself, Newt Gingrich! Everyone definitely loves you!
Mitt Romney is still campaigning like Mitt Romney; that is, by saying very stupid things on a constant basis. Here are two good examples!
1. Romney says Obama has 'fought against religion.' Nope! No he hasn't. That is very stupid, Mitt Romney.
2. Romney: 'Labor unions play an important role in our society.' Yes, yes they do! You are so right, Mitt Romney—and yet you are still so stupid, because that is definitely NOT what Republican voters want to hear! See also.
Even when Mitt Romney is smart, he is stupid! Poor Mitt Romney. I would feel soooooooooooooo sad for him if he weren't a garbage nightmare of a candidate whose definition of presidential stewardship weren't to usher in a corporatocracy as quickly as possible!
Hey! Speaking of corporatocracy, I couldn't have been MORE THRILLED I MEAN MORE BARFINATED when I read that President Obama is going to propose lowering the nation's corporate tax rate from 35% to 28%! (See previously.) WHAT A GREAT IDEA! LET'S DEFINITELY DO THAT!
Again I will note the irony of conservatives' bitter partisan rancor directed at President Obama when he is basically a straight-up Republican. Good times.
In other news, Donald Trump might still run for president. Terrific.
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
The Downton Abbey Thread
All right, you Downton Abbey bitchez! Under threat of havoc by Portly Dyke, I finally relented and watched both seasons in a marathon of chiffon and melodrama and blubbing my face off, so here is the thread that EVERY SINGLE PERSON EVER has been begging me for!
(Except for Iain. Who tells me that he moved to America so he didn't have to watch that shit anymore. LOL!)
I pretty much love it to rotten little pieces, except for one thing, and it is not a small thing: Almost to a man, all of the white straight men are ethical paragons, even if the Laird is a bumblefuck who always has to get it wrong before he gets it right, and it is only women, gay men, and Mr. Kemal Pamuk who are the scheming and coercive scoundrels. The exceptions to that rule are white men who are not of the aristocratic class: Sir Richard, primarily, and Tom Branson, who was often unreasonably cajoling and snide with Sybil.
Whoooooooooooooops that is a problem! Please fix it in Season Three!
Otherwise, I truly adore all the social justice commentary up in my period drama, especially the feminist stuff: Mary's line "My life makes me angry. Not you." was one of my favorite things ever. EVER!
And I shall save the rest for comments.
Discuss!
Happy Birthday, Shark-fu!
Happy Birthday! I got you a cake with Darth Vader and Batman lightsaber-dueling while riding on sharks' backs because OMG LOOK AT THAT CAKE!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're our favorite Angry Black Biiii-iiiitch!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
News I Don't Want to Write About
Here is all the news I don't want to write about today:
INSERT EVERY ONE OF THE EIGHT BILLION STORIES I'VE READ ABOUT VARIOUS LEGISLATION AND/OR LEGISLATORS AND/OR RELIGIOUS PEOPLE AND/OR GENERAL CATEGORY FUCKOS WHO WANT TO CODIFY INTO LAW THAT I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A UTERUS WITH SOME MEAT AROUND IT.
That's right. I can't even write about FOR REALZ the news I don't want to write about today. It is too depressing and rage-making and terrifying, and I am too full of contempt to function!
Okay, one thing! I will mention ONE THING as perfectly emblematic of the abject fuckery with which we're dealing up in this garbage fart of a democracy: Illinois farming committee passes two anti-abortion bills.
Yeah, you read that right! The Illinois State House's AGRICULTURE AND CONSERVATION COMMITTEE is fucking around with abortion, because it's the only committee conservative enough to PASS THIS SHIT.
In opposition, protestors wore t-shirts reading: "Women are NOT livestock."
HA HA, I thought upon reading that grim report, BY THE TIME THE REPUBLICANS ARE DONE WITH US, WE'LL ASPIRE TO BE FUCKING LIVESTOCK.
www.fuckeverything.fart
Photo of the Day
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum reacts to the terrible news
that women and other people with uteri are still technically considered human.
Daily Dose of Cute
[Content Note: The video below includes footage of Dudley making growly sounds and both Dudley and Zelly baring their teeth at each other. They're just playing, but they are play-fighting, so if dog aggression is triggering or otherwise problematic for you, you should skip this video.]
Mostly, Dudley and Zelda play straight-up chase in the backyard, but sometimes they mix it up by throwing a little Bitey Game into the mix—which makes for loads of tumbling cuteness as Zelly dives and rolls to escape Dudz. My favorite is when she rolls and then pops up right into a play-bow. Megadorbz! I finally managed to record a bit of it.
Dudley and Zelda stand beside each other, wagging their tails. Dudz lunges at Zelly with a fearsome growl (lulz) and Zelly takes off. They run back and forth, Zelly leaping and swerving just out of reach of Dudley's snapping jaws. Dudley goes for her, and she tumbles into a dramatic roll, then lands in a big play-bow, her roundy butt in the air. She leaps at him, and he gives chase. They run around the yard in a wide circle, through winter-naked vines and through the ivy and back into the grass. Zelly rolls; pops up; rears up at Dudley. He growls and they leap around. They come to a sudden stop, each waiting for the other to make a move. Dudley play-bows, and it's back on. Wrassle, tumble, chase! They play-bite at each others' faces. One more lackluster tussle. They pant tiredly. Zelda walks away. Dudz shakes himself off, then begins to dig like a BAD DOG! Fin.
Good Job, Saturday Night Live! LADIES!
[Content Note: Rape culture.]
This past weekend, Maya Rudolph—whom, as I may have mentioned once or twice, ahem, I love like a loved thing made from love with lots of little lovey bits all over it—hosted SNL, and it was pretty terrific. It was approximately eleventy billion times better with a professional doing the hosting, not searching for cue cards every five seconds, and, unless I'm mistaken (I was chatting with Iain and Kenny Blogginz through some of the broadcast, as per usual), they managed to air an entire episode without rape jokes! IMAGINE THAT!
Even better: Amy Poehler dropped by for some of the skits, and to do a very memorable "REALLY?!? With Seth and Amy" in which Poehler and Seth Meyers tackled Darrell Issa's contraception hearing (Meyers: "Meanwhile, both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum use the rhythm method, and, with five and eight kids respectively, it seems like they might have even less rhythm than we thought."), Foster Friess' aspirin-between-the-knees gag (Poehler: "Well, we'd love to accept your apology, Foster, but you made a mistake, and now you're going to have to live with that mistake for the rest of your life. REALLY!"), and Virgina's proposed bill to mandate transvaginal ultrasounds before abortions (Poehler: "Now, don't get me wrong: I love Transvaginal—it's my favorite airline! I got so many miles on Transvaginal that I always get updated to Ladybusiness!").
Better still: Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler together again for "Bronx Beat." As a person who spent her childhood summers listening to the ladies talking on the stoops in my grandmother's Queens neighborhood, I always love this sketch with the passion of 10,000 suns. "It's 2012! We're all gonna die anyway! Live your life!" Done and done!
Also loved: The Maya Angelou Prank Show and Cosby Obama.
But my favorite of the night was the "Super Showcase" sketch, in which Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig lampooned "The Price Is Right" merchandize models. There was nothing about the sketch that was super innovative or searingly clever: It was just Rudolph and Wiig speaking with the same funny cadence and acting supremely silly. Then: The best of all SNL moments—Wiig broke, then Rudolph almost broke, then Bill Hader (playing the gameshow host) broke. Comedy gold.
Video Description: A female contestant loses the Super Showcase after incorrectly answering "beef" for an unheard question the correct answer to which was "nine." Then Shonda and Vonda (Rudolph and Wiig) show her what she WOULD have won—his and hers matching luggage by Luggage Guy; a one-day-no-night stay at a Pebble Beach golf resort including his and hers matching golf clubs by Golfer Guy; a lifetime supply of frozen chicken by Chicken Man; and a mantle clock for your mantle by Clockenfrau. Throughout, Wiig is driving around in a golf cart, and eventually crashes through the back of the stage.
Next Week on Saturday Night Live: Back to mostly white men and rape jokes!
Which, you know, is pretty sad. Because I got A LOT of emails about how great this episode was and/or how great individual sketches were. Women are funny (breaking news!) and rape jokes aren't (breaking news!), and it's possible to do an entire hour-and-a-half-show centering both concepts.
They just usually choose not to.
Of Course: Prop 8 Fuckos Will File for Court Review
These are seriously some of the most pathetic people on the planet:
Charles Cooper, the lead attorney for the proponents of Proposition 8, tells Metro Weekly that the proponents of the California marriage amendment will be asking the full U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit to review the three-judge panel decision issued on Feb. 7 holding that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.More projection of the catastrophically irony-impaired: Nary a same-sex marriage has ever undermined an opposite-sex marriage, but these opposite-sexly married bozos have spent an inordinate amount of time, energy, and money to undermine same-sex marriages in California.
Although Cooper, of Cooper and Kirk PLLC, told Metro Weekly the filing has not yet been made, the filing is expected later today as today is the deadline for the filing to seek en banc review.
The move almost guarantees that the U.S. Supreme Court will not consider the case before this November's presidential election.
...After en banc consideration, the unsuccessful party could then petition the U.S. Supreme Court to hear the case. At that point, the parties submit written arguments explaining to the court why the justices should or should not hear the case. Then, if four of the nine justices agree to hear the case, another round of briefing occurs, with the parties and outside organizations and individuals arguing the merits of the case to the justices. Oral arguments are then set and held at the Supreme Court, and some time later a decision is handed down.
It would be hilarious, if only decent people's family lives and loves and basic right to equal participation in their communities and country weren't at stake.
Alcatraz Open Thread
Did you watch Alcatraz last night? What did you think of it? Did you love it? I did! I LOVED IT. I love it more every week!
Here are the Top 5 things I loved about it (some minor spoilers):
1. I love Sarah Jones! I love her character, Det. Rebecca Madsen, soooooooooo much! I love that she is continually shown to be both a well-trained and very competent police officer, in both intellectual and physical ways. I have seen SO MANY police procedurals and/or law enforcement/special agent/spy films in which female agents are tough—until the precise moment in which they must be not-tough to give a male character the opportunity for some heroic rescuin'! Last night on Alcatraz, there was a scene in which Madsen was grabbed from behind, and it looked, ever so briefly, like Sam Neill (whose character name I can never remember and can't be arsed to look up—Ellison? Elliot? Emerson? Whatever.) was going to save her, but GUESS WHO SAVED HER? If you guessed that she saved herself by using recognizable self-defense techniques that a female cop would indeed probably know, give yourself 1,000 points!
Aside: Last night, Deeks mentioned via text that it's strange there aren't any gay characters on Alcatraz, given that it's set in San Francisco and all. I replied that perhaps Detective Madsen is a lesbian. I kind of think she is, but I don't have any reason to think that, aside from the fact that we (remarkably!) haven't had a scene of her at home in bed with her dude who's totally a sculptor or subjected to a sub-plot about her dead fiance. Maybe I just hope she is. Which I do. Because: 1. Come on already, Hollywood; and 2. The dearth of major gay characters in Lost always bothered me.
2. I love Jorge Garcia! I love his character, Dr. Diego Soto, soooooooooo much! I continue to dig how the character serves as the reminder that violence is real and ugly and difficult to process, and I like how he fancies the M.E. who wears the comic tees, and how she maybe kinda fancies him, too.
3. I love the score! I know I have said this before, but OMG Michael Giacchino your score is soooooooooo good!
4. I love the mystery! Also! I have a theory: It seems like Dr. Sangupta's very creepy work has something to do with rehabilitation, but it wasn't very successful, since all the 63s are picking up their criminal ways exactly where they left off. And I suspect that we may be heading toward a central commentary about the failures of hard incarceration and torture in rehabilitation, underlying the mystery about the time jumping. That would be very neat!
5. Everything else!
Infographic of the Day
The above infographic is care of Water.org, a charity to which I donate and which I strongly endorse, particularly for their emphasis on improving women's and children's lives by making clean water more readily accessible. Accessible water allows women time to fully participate in their communities, and allows children time for their education.
Find out how to get involved here. Donate with a credit card here, or with alternate payment options (like PayPal) here.
Texting! With Liss and Deeky!
Two Facts: 1. I don't smoke cigarettes or weed anymore, and I don't drink coffee, or tea, or booze ("You don't drink any grown-up drinks!"—Iain), and I work at home, so I don't step out for lunch or walk past newsstands anymore, all of which conspires to limit my opportunities for the little $5 splurges that, when one can afford them, make life a little more pleasurable. 2. It turns out, I have more fun spending $5 to buy the most horrendously weird piece of shit and sending it to Deeky than on pretty much anything else in the world.
The Walking Thread
Glenn takes a moment for himself to contemplate the incomprehensible fuckery
of AMC having shit-canned Frank Darabont.
(Spoilers lurch undeadly herein.)
It's official, Shakers: I now watch The Walking Dead just to hate it. And I can tell you the exact moment at which the switch from love-hate to hate-hate happened—it was when Lori, at the end of the episode, referred to herself and Carl as things that Rick "owns." Yiiiiiiiiiiiikes nope. This is where I get off the bus!
The show's biggest issue, for me, is its chronic disrespect of agency. The main (male) characters are continually making decisions for everyone else, without ever asking them what they want or providing them with good information which they can use to make decisions for themselves. Like, during the whole endless argument over what to do with the guy harpooned on the fence, no one ever stops for five seconds to ask him: "What do YOU want?" Or like, Shane tells Lori that Rick's back at the farm to get her to return with him, instead of just giving her honest info and letting her make an informed choice for herself. Etc.
It's INFURIATING to watch—and, at a time when, for example, a bunch of dudes are making decisions about women's et. al. reproductive rights, this show isn't making any sort of critical commentary on how inherently grody making decisions for other adult human beings is, especially when their lives are on the line.
And I suspect that's because this show doesn't actually see the problem with it.
