Jon Bon Jovi responds to erroneous reports on the internetz yesterday about his premature demise.
Rumors of His Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Jon Bon Jovi responds to erroneous reports on the internetz yesterday about his premature demise.
Number of the Day
11%: The percentage of USian respondents in Gallup's latest poll who "approve of the job Congress is doing, the lowest single rating in Gallup's history of asking this question since 1974. This earns Congress a 17% yearly average for 2011, the lowest annual congressional approval rating in Gallup history."
One has to imagine the other 11% were asleep, misunderstood the question, or are a sitting member of Congress.
Primarily Stupid
Here's the latest from Who Farted, Too: Electric Boogaloo aka the Republican Primary...
Newt Gingrich is having a wacky day today (hey, maybe he is zany after all!), as he gets a swell endorsement from Prop 8 ringleader Pastor Jim Garlow of Skyline Church in La Mesa, California, who is a huge fan of Gingrich's antigay bigotry and finds that Gingrich "understands the moral component" of marriage. That is to say, preventing same-sex marriage. Ahem. But despite his admirable ethics [sic] on social justice issues, CREW is alleging that Gingrich's campaign is engaging in shady accounting. Such a conundrum! On the one hand, Gingrich is a paragon of moral virtue [sic], and on the other, he's a thieving dirtbag. HOW WOULD JESUS VOTE?!
Obviously not for this guy: Mitt Romney, who is still a Mormon, has struck out a controversial path by announcing he "agree[s] with the Constitution." Way to set yourself apart from the Republican pack, sir! None of the candidates are incessantly invoking the Constitution this year! In other news, Romney campaign strategist Flurg Flunderton has confirmed that their strategy of "listen to what everyone else is saying, then say that, too, only wayyyyy more awkwardly" is working great. Also: Mitt Romney is one of you.
Michelle Bachmann, a sitting member of Congress who has been a nationally known candidate for years because of her incendiary politicking, is one of you: "Republican hopeful Michele Bachmann seems to have found a new favorite tag line in the midst of her bus tour: 'I'm one of you.' It's a phrase she's been using more and more, and Monday she seemed to be saying it everywhere she went. 'I am not a politician. I am a real person. I don't even know how to be a politician.'" Ha ha. Okay, player. One of us! One of us!
Rick Perry is still definitely in the race! He has not dropped out yet.
Carter Eskew of the Washington Post has a great theory on why Ron Paul won't win the nomination: "Ron Paul's un-electability will be his undoing." Solid observation. Sometimes I daydream about having a column in the Washington Post, but I then remember that you've got to have the Big Ideas to get a job like that. Aw, shucks!
Jon Huntsman's "long-shot campaign hinges on South Carolina," according to CBS. Wait a second—I thought it hinged on New Hampshire! Garsh, it's hard to keep track of on what wildly improbable victory Jon Huntsman's futile campaign for the presidential nomination and slightly less futile (but still definitely very futile) campaign for the vice presidential slot on the ticket depends. In good news, his campaign to be sent back to China is looking GREAT!
Rick Santorum got an enthusiastic endorsement in the Letters section of the paper from a lady in Sioux City, Iowa. "I am angry and hateful, and I support Rick Santorum!" Ha ha perfect. She also suuuuuuuuper loves playing Conservative Bingo. Who loves this endorsement as much as I do?
And here's a bit of bright news for all you Palin-Heads in the crowd: Sarah Palin said in an interview on Fox Business Network that "it's not too late for folks to jump in." Told ya! Go get 'em, Sarah!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
Question of the Day
Who is your favorite character on a currently-airing television show? (Please feel free to interpret the question broadly to include "characters" on reality shows, talk show hosts, etc.)
I don't guess I'm surprising anyone by casting my vote for Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) of Parks & Recreation, followed closely by her BFF Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones).
Honorable mentions to Gloria Akalitus (Anna Deavere Smith) on Nurse Jackie, Dr. Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) on The Big Bang Theory, and Amy Jellicoe (Laura Dern) on Enlightened.
Number of the Day
$156 billion: The approximate estimated total of 2011 bonuses at seven of the biggest US banks—Bank of America, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, US Bank, and Wells Fargo. The total is "slightly larger than last year's record-breaking number."
Perfect. Good for them.
Caption This Photo
Iowans were surprised and delighted to note that, for a guy who hates gays and ladies, Rick Santorum can throw a mean jazz hands.
(That's one just for you, Eastsidekate.)
[AP Photo]
An Observation
[Trigger warning for rape culture.]
I find it interesting, ahem, how much public musing I've read over the years about whether fantasist Stephen Glass deserves a second chance in a new career ("being a lawyer is a privilege, not a right"), or has sufficiently earned forgiveness, or can be successfully rehabilitated, and other variations on questions of trust, integrity, and decency.
The reason I find it interesting is because I have not seen nearly the same about of public musing about, say, Mike Tyson, or Roman Polanski, even though they each did something rather quite worse than telling lies, even big lies that hurt and embarrassed and betrayed people.
We sure do have interesting priorities, and interesting beliefs about the things people do. Especially people who are men, admired by other men.
Things You Definitely Don't Need During the Holidays (Especially in a Cold Winter Climate)
1. Mail service.
2. Garbage service.
3. Access to your garage.
4. Access to your driveway.
It's not like anyone needs to send or receive letters and packages during the holidays—and, anyway, it's superfun to go stand in a line at the post office for an hour just to collect your bills because your mailbox is lying on your front porch. And very few people who celebrate Christmas need to come and go a lot, often with several parcels or big grocery shops, at this time of year. Plus, it's also superfun to clear snow and frost off your car. I hope my driveway looks like this FOREVER.
Quote of the Day
"The school has bent over backwards to create a Franco-friendly environment, that's for sure."—Former NYU professor José Angel Santana, who alleges that he was fired from the university after giving star pupil James Franco a D in his class.
What—did you think that New York University wasn't going to bend over backwards to create a Franco-friendly environment? You're so weird. OF COURSE they were toing to bend over backwards to create a Franco-friendly environment, because James Franco.
Sheesh.
You get a D in LOGIC, Professor Santana! And an F in Francology.
[H/T to everyone in the multiverse, and thanks to each and every one of you!]
Daily Dose of Cute
Video Description: Dudley and Zelda and I play Catch in the backyard, this morning. At Shakes Manor, Catch is a cooperative sport. And it's not really Catch—or Fetch, for that matter. It's more like chase the ball and maybe pick it up, run around with it in your mouth, bump everyone else with it, drop it, run around some more, look cute, and get scratches, then wait until someone else brings the ball back, or Two-Legs goes and retrieves it. Yay! Set to the Peanuts' Lucy and Linus Theme.
At the end is a little bit of Dudley's new favorite game, Bump, where all 75 pounds of him flops into me over and over, while he points his wee nosehead up at me, grinning like a goofball.
For those who can't view the video but can view images, here's a photo of Dudley chasing Zelly around the garden:
Gabe and Tycho Still Think Rape Is Hilarious
[Trigger warning for rape culture.]
Once upon a time, two dudes who write a web comic called "Penny Arcade" posted a strip that included a rape joke. Some people objected to this. It got nasty from there, in the same infuriatingly predictable way these things always get nasty. And then it got nastier, and more awful, and uglier, and more horrible, and worser, oof just so horrendo like whoa.
(The whole history is detailed here.)
The only thing that was certain is the only thing that's ever certain, which is that feminist survivors of sexual violence who don't find rape jokes funny are stupid, hypersensitive, rage-seeking missiles who want to censor the world. [sic]
It's funny the reputation feminists have. Because even in spite of being presumed to be a dour, man-hating, pessimistic cynic, I still sort of figured (or hoped) that Gabe and Tycho would, once the din subsided, chew on everything that had been said exhorting them to kinder selves, and maybe eventually get to a place where, even if they never made any sort of public amends, they could internally acknowledge The Point, and be a little more sensitive in future.
Whoooooooooooooooooooooops I am a real dunderhead!
Because last Friday, they ran a guest comic at the center of which was a rape joke and a "comical" image implying non-consensual sexual activity: Their recurrent character the "Fruit Fucker" is forcibly feeding a piece of fruit to Humpty Dumpty (ETA. or HD is wearing a ball gag), who's clad in bondage gear and looks terrified. It's labeled, in big letters: "NON-CONSENSUAL BREAKFAST!"
People objected. Brendan Atkins tweeted: "I'm an Enforcer, I love you guys, but I really hate it when you run rape jokes." To which Gabe responded: "the fruit fucker is a rapist of food. I'm not sure an egg can give consent anyway. Maybe a chicken, but not an egg."
Which seems a pretty weak defense when the joke, such as it is, turns on the word "non-consensual" and the egg being sentient and not giving consent.
I would say this is a terminal case of Not Getting It, if I thought that Gabe and Tycho really don't get it. But I think they do get it. At this point, it's not that they're just being insensitive to survivors who asked them to stop; they're actually being actively hostile to them. Contemptible.
Whoops
You know what would have made this piece about "Nerds and Male Privilege" better...? If its male author had linked to any one of the hundreds (thousands?) of female writers who have said the very same thing before.
It's not that I don't appreciate the effort and all that, cookies for everyone, but when the central idea of one's thesis is "A man can expect to have his opinion considered, not dismissed out of hand because of his sex," if one doesn't want to more deeply entrench that marginalizing dynamic, one would do well to acknowledge any of the many, many, many women who share his opinion and have, in fact, been disregarded.
Just a suggestion.
[H/T to Iain.]
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by concrete.
Recommended Reading:
Susie: A Tribute to Václav Havel
Peter: Václav Havel on Kim Jong-Il
Pam: [TW for racism and violence] Ohio Landlord Posts 'Whites Only' Pool Sign—It's 'Historical' and She's 'Sticking Up for [Her] White Rights'
Nadya: [TW for sexual and emotional abuse] Time Could Be Right for Yemen to Ban Child Marriage
Biyuti: [TW for Western imperialism and appropriation] Gender Imperialism
Melissa: Meryl Streep on the Narrowing of the Film Audience
Fannie: [TW for biphobia] Anti-Feminists Discover TOP SECRET Feminist Ideas
Michael and Christian: Sweating Bullets: Body Scanners Can See Perspiration as a Potential Weapon
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
The Dexter Thread
lol your garbage tableau
The series finale of Dexter will be discussed in detail, which means that SPOILERS lurk herein. If you don't want to know what happened, please pack your plastic wrap and go...
1. All my previous complaining stands.
2. The whole Deb Loves Dexter subplot? No. That's all I got. Just an emphatic no.
3. Remember at the beginning of the series, how Dexter constantly used to give Deb tips to make her look good on the job? Now he constantly undermines her and doesn't care whether her job gets risked because he wants to kill Doomsday himself? Bullshit. That particular piece of empathy didn't evaporate into thin air. The writers can't just pretend that a central part of the character at the series' genesis never happened. There needed to be some scene of reflection, some annoying conversation with Harry about consciously choosing to move from supporting Deb on the job to subverting her on the job.
4. Lions and lambs. Ugh. Who wrote this shit—Dan Brown?
5. The last 30 seconds of the episode? Great. Best 30 seconds of the season. That is not enough good seconds. Please deliver more good seconds next season, writers of Dexter. And stop fucking with Deb!
Primarily Horrendo
Here's the latest from Who Didn't Fart?: The Hunt for Fred Thompson aka the Republican Primary...
New Iowa frontrunner (whut) Ron Paul (!) is surging thanks in part to his foresight in having a functional campaign in place. Good job on knowing how to be a candidate, sir! That is only HALF the sarcasm it normally would be, because it is actually true that most of the other candidates haven't bothered to consider the importance of building a serious campaign infrastructure staffed by coordinated employees and volunteers. Whooooooooooooops!
Former frontrunner (oopsy) Newt Gingrich continues to implode. (Ha ha omg you are making Ron Paul look like a centrist!) I'm sure there are people who get electionboners for candidates who dabble in moderation-torching bellicosity like threatening to send US marshals to arrest "activist judges" and promising to "ignore Supreme Court decisions that conflicted with his powers as commander in chief [and] press for impeaching judges or even abolishing certain courts if he disagreed with their rulings," but I am pretty sure they are usually the same people who consider cheating on your wives, plural, a grave affront to the Baby Jesus, so.
Former former frontrunner Mitt Romney is probably spending a lot of time thinking about the last election, when the super boring and resoundingly unlikable John McCain just hung the fuck in there until he eventually got the nomination by default. Good luck, Willard! I have every faith that you are at once totally mediocre and breathtakingly awful enough to win this staring contest with the worst people in the country! If there's one thing that Republican primary voters can't do, it's stop meddling in other people's reproductive and marriage rights, but if there's A SECOND THING that Republican primary voters can't do, it's not blink in the radiant glow of a straight white patriarch who, at the end of the day, seems pretty likely to let them continue to stockpile automatic weapons.
Michele Bachmann doesn't believe in the Kinsey Report. Of course she doesn't. The Kinsey Report is of science, and science is of the devil, no doy. If god had wanted Michele Bachmann to believe that hokum, he would have transcribed it to the lesser-known thirteenth disciple, St. Chad of Fabulous. But he didn't! And that's why gays are a myth and science is stupid. The end.
Rick Perry is still definitely in the race! He has not dropped out yet. Also: He got totes pwned by a 14-year-old girl.
Jon Huntsman is putting all his eggs in New Hampshire. He might come in second! "Even if he comes in second, that's a win," says Bob Bestani, a former congressional candidate. In a tumultuous primary contest so full of knuckleheads and dildobrains that even Donald Trump and Herman Cain have been the leading contenders at one time, I'm not sure even first is a win, no less second.
The Associated Press does not mince words about the pointless vanity candidacy of Rick Santorum: "In a presidential campaign marked by sharp rises and falls, Republican Rick Santorum has experienced neither." Ouch. No one cares about you, Rick Santorum! Go home and go to bed!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
The Kim Jong-Il Thread
North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il has died, leaving his son Kim Jong-Un as the "Great Successor" to "Dear Leader."
I don't have anything insightful or kind to say. All I feel at the moment is sad that the North Korean people are inheriting another dictator, leaving their future as a nation uncertain, at best—and worried for North Korea's neighbors, especially South Korea.
