This blogaround brought to you by Pez dispensers.
Recommended Reading:
Cheryl: Rock, Paper, Scissors: Choosing between Race and Gender in Comics
Scatx: NPR Article on Siri Is Major Fail
Sarah: Cloning a Mammoth: Totally Gonna Happen
Captain Awkward: Derailing: How Not to Talk to People Who Are Telling You Something Sad
Tami: Gawker and Vulture: Why No Love for Georgia Peaches?
Deborah: The 43rd Down Under Feminists Carnival
TDW: Infographic of the Day
Issendai: WARNING: Purina Pet Food Has Started Making Pets Ill (It sounds like, at minimum, check your bags to see if there's a "chemical" smell before feeding it to pets, which seems to be a common experience among owners with sick animals. It's a good recommendation generally to give your pets' food a good sniff before serving.)
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Monday Blogaround
Impossibly Beautiful
One of the basic (but unspoken) tenets of the Beauty Standard is that famous women (and men) must mask all indication of their humanity. No laugh lines, no frown lines, no blemishes, no evidence of aging, no having too much hair there or too little hair here, no fat, no sag, no varicose veins, no moles, no marks, no crooked toes, no imperfections no flaws no scars no errant freckles even if they are beautiful because no deviation from the arbitrary standards of Perfection.
It's a heinous enough expectation for the cover of a magazine, when an intern with Photoshop will be tasked with clumsily erasing all trace of documentation that a mortal human being exists behind the carefully constructed veneer. But these days, when half the population's walking around with an HD camera and a high-speed internet connection in their pockets, suddenly celebrities are expected to not be human even in person, even in extreme close-up.
Hence: BuzzFeed's "10 Scary Celebrity Close-Ups." I'm not going to provide a direct link, because fuck giving them traffic for that; you can find it easily enough if you're so inclined. It's a gallery consisting of extreme close-up images of nine women, with one close-up of Iggy Pop, as if everyone's holding Iggy Pop and the latest Hollywood ingenue to the same beauty standards.
This picture of Zooey Deschanel—whose indefatigable service as every hipster dude's Manic Pixie Dream Girl is now being rewarded with the predictable sneering backlash once the dudes who drooled over her discovered she had the temerity to not, as it turns out, be their private property—is typical of the gallery:
Granted, the grey bits rattling 'round my brainpan have been freed from The Matrix, so my perspective is very
I also, for the record, see a beautiful woman. But my opinion of Zooey Deschanel is irrelevant. What matters is that there's no such thing as an objective beauty standard.
And then there's this: It's incomprehensibly fucked up that evidence of a woman's humanity is considered "scary," by any means of observation. But this contempt for visible humanness in close-up reveals something extremely ugly about the nature of objectification: People who want to fuck Zooey Deschanel express repulsion at seeing her face up close. "Eww—you got intimacy all up in my remote objectification! Gross!"
The real problem with these images, and their insistent revelation of humanness, is not that they are "scary." It is that they challenge the viewer to embrace the humanity of women.
Which I suppose might be terrifying, if you're not used to thinking of women as human.
Enough already. Enough.
Kansas Update
Way back in July I posted about how Kansas hired Koch-bros. affiliated attorneys to defend itself in cases regarding its attacks on clinics and its de-funding of Planned Parenthood. At the time I noted:
Huh. I had no idea the state of Kansas had so much money laying around! Planned Parenthood, by the way, is being represented by pro-bono attorneys.Yesterday the Kansas City Star reported on just how much money the state has paid (so far!):
After about six months, the state has tallied $392,520 in legal bills stemming from attempts to restrict abortion that were pushed during the legislative session earlier this year.The state's Attorney General, Derek Schmidt, said they had to hire people since his office is overburdened.
The state spent $237,834 on private lawyers defending efforts to strip Planned Parenthood of federal family planning funds. It has laid out $94,380 defending new rules for abortion clinics.
And it has amassed $60,306 in legal bills over a new law that bars insurance companies from providing elective abortion coverage as part of their comprehensive plans.
[...]
Two firms are handling the lawsuits for the state.
Foulston Siefkin is representing the state in the Planned Parenthood case. The firm charges up to $300 an hour for litigation work and $115 an hour for paralegal services.
The law firm of former University of Kansas Law School Dean Steve McAllister — Thompson, Ramsdell & Qualseth — is representing the state in lawsuits challenging the new abortion clinic rules and the insurance restrictions.
McAllister’s firm charges up to $275 for litigation and $75 an hour for paralegal work.
So, earlier this year, while the state passed bullshit legislation that was guraranteed to be challenged in court, the state was also working on a budget. Here's a bit how that went:
Friday’s cuts include:And:
--A $50.2 million reduction in general state aid to education, which will require legislative action in order to coordinate that change with expected increases in health and human services caseloads.
--$2.3 million reductions each in Board of Regents system operating budgets and Social and Rehabilitation Services mental health care managed services.
--A $1.3 million reduction in State Finance Council funds dedicated to assuring Kansas government salaries are competitive with the private sector.
--A total $374,000 in reduced debt service costs and lowered operating budgets for the Kansas Court of Tax Appeals, the Kansas Attorney General’s office, the Kansas Art Commission and the Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks.
Republican leaders asserted that tax increases will be necessary in the budget, but the House budget did not include a tax increase.[35] Instead, the House budget lessened funds for public education by not replacing $172 million in federal stimulus dollars.So how is that working out? Pretty much how you might think:
Quietly, without fanfare, the 39-year-old emergency center for Johnson County youth in crisis at TLC closed in September.And:
In December, the 17-year-old old transitional program for disturbed Johnson County kids from teens up to 18 at TLC will also close.
The elimination of both programs is a result of statewide budget cuts.
[...]
In the meantime, Marillac, the other facility in the county that deals with youth in need of acute care, is facing severe cutbacks in its own programs. It, too, is trying to deal with major budget cuts.
Both TLC and Marillac exist for youth with severe psychiatric needs who have been referred to them by the Johnson County Mental Health Center.
Topeka — State budget cuts to public schools have resulted in fewer teachers and more crowded classrooms, according to statistics reported Friday by the Kansas Department of Education.But, hey, Kansas has plenty of money (nearly $400K for six months of work!) to spend hiring attorneys to defend anti-abortion legislation. Obviously that money couldn't be useful anywhere else in the state. Priorities!
The total number of teacher positions statewide in the current school year is 34,075.
That is a drop of 256 from last year and 1,363 since the 2008-09 school year total of 35,438.
Meanwhile, student enrollment has increased from 473,097 in 2008-09 to 482,798 in the current school year. That is an increase of 9,701 students. During that time, the Lawrence school district grew from 11,007 students to 11,613 students, an increase of 606 students.
The elimination of teacher positions coincides with cuts to school funding.
Here Are Some Neat Things to Read!
This is a good article about Chelsea Clinton in the New York Times. Too bad about that dud of a closing quote from Democratic strategist Hank Sheinkopf, though. Amy Chozick should have given the last word to Chelsea Clinton, who says the most interesting things about Chelsea Clinton in the piece. She is very self-aware!
This is an extremely moving piece by Yasmine El Rashidi in the New York Review of Books, titled "Choosing Egypt's Future," about the elections in Egypt. Egypt's future remains uncertain, and it is refreshing to read the perspective of that uncertainty from a woman who stood in line six hours to vote, since so much of the available punditry, is, typically, provided by white male outsiders.
And this is a fun interview with comedian Jim Gaffigan, who is one of my favorites (and not just because we grew up about 10 minutes apart). I don't believe I've ever seen a male comedian give credit to his wife as a writing partner before, unless they were co-performers (e.g. Stiller and Meara), even though Jeannie Noth Gaffigan is certainly not the first woman whose writing talents have assisted a husband's career.
Priorities!
[Trigger warning for sexual assault]
I've been chewing on this for a day, and I still don't have much to say.
AP:
The Wisconsin Justice Department has warned organizations that help sexual assault victims to expect drastic reductions in state aid next year, a surprise move for an agency that has prided itself on capturing sexual predators.Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA) [pdf]:
Justice Department officials informed service providers around the state this month it plans to cut grants from its Sexual Assault Victim Services program by 42.5 percent this year. The announcement blindsided service providers who rely on the grants to pay for therapy, crisis intervention and education. They expected cuts, they said, but never thought they would be so dramatic.
At a time when events around the country have focused attention on sexual assault, Wisconsin’s only grant program devoted to direct services for sexual assault victims is slated to be cut more than 40 percent in 2012.
The Sexual Assault Victim Services program (SAVS) grants are the sole state source of funds and therefore vital to sexual assault service providers’ ability to provide direct services to victims and their families including: 24-hour crisis response, victim advocacy, and criminal justice, legal and medical advocacy.
Unlike comparable programs in other states, SAVS has never received general purpose state revenue; it is only funded through a surcharge paid by perpetrators upon prosecution. A decline in the number of prosecutions has led to lower surcharge revenue.
A number of other state programs which fund critical services have been appropriately protected from these
budget cuts and lapses. [Interim WCASA Executive Director Pennie] Meyers contends SAVS needs to be added to that list.
That certainly seems like a reasonable suggestion.
Did I mention that the Republicans responsible for this garbage nightmare are largely pro-life? Because they want to protect the children and other traditional values? Traditional values like silencing rape victims? And protecting people who sexually assault the children (and adults) they're protecting? Did I?
Rebuilding Privilege
Speaking of Newt Gingrich (ugh, this job, where I have to write things like "speaking of Newt Gingrich," because I have to speak of Newt Gingrich), the candidate has released his first television campaign spot, which will begin running in Iowa today. It's called "Rebuilding the America We Love," although, as per the usual conservaspeak, that's just a dog whistle more honestly translated as "Rebuilding Privilege."
String music. Amber waves of grain. A white picket fence, and a porch with a US flag blowing gently in the breeze. Newt Gingrich: "Some people say the America we know and love is a thing of the past. I don't believe that." Majestic purple mountains. A white dude in a factory. Lots of sparks. (Did Michael Bay direct this shit?) "Because, working together, I know we can rebuild America." US flag. Ma (a white lady) sweeping porch of her white-shingled ma-and-pop business. "We can revive our economy and create jobs—" Steel mill. Sparks. "—shrink government and the regulations that strangle our businesses—" Young blonde white lady arranging flowers in her flower shop window. "—throw out the tax code, and replace it with one that is simple and fair." The Marine Corps drill team (just a sea of white dude faces) practicing the exhibition drill. "We can regain the world's respect, by standing strong again—" Statue of Liberty. White church in the countryside. "—being true to our faith—" Four young corporate types—two white women, one white man, and one black man. "—and respecting one another." White cowboy in slo-mo, lassoing steer. "We can return power to the people—" Statehouse. "—and to the states we live in—" White man's hand drifting across the golden tops of wheat in a field. "—so we'll all have more freedom—" Little white boy in classroom being taught by young white lady teacher. "—opportunity—" Silo backlit by sunrise. "—and control of our lives." Newt's face. "Yes, working together, we can and will rebuild the America we love." STRING MUSIC! "I'm Newt Gingrich, and I approve this message." (Oh, I bet you do.)[Via Andy.]
Primarily Gross
It's been so long since there was a Democratic incumbent in the White House that I forgot how completely goddamn boring primary season is when it's just a bunch of Republicans running around trying to out-stupid each other. Despite their desperate bid for my attention with no fewer than twelve thousand debates since June, I haven't managed to muster much energy or enthusiasm for their traveling sideshow, but I guess it's about time to discuss the epic garbage nightmare that is the potential candidacy of one of the reprobates from the field of failosaurs regurgitated from the bowels of the Republican establishment this year.
So here's the latest news: Herman Cain has suspended his campaign, while promising to "not go away." (It's okay; you can just go away. Really.) He will reportedly endorse Newt Gingrich today, who is now leading the polls among primary voters in Iowa. (He can also go away. And take Mitt Romney with him.)
It's coming down to Mitt vs. Newt. Either one would be colossally horrendo as president, and I don't imagine that one would be more of a danger to Obama in the general campaign than the other. They've both got their campaigning strengths and weaknesses, and neither one would be measurably stronger or weaker in debates: Newt Gingrich is a more confident debater, but Mitt Romney is less likely to say things like, "We should hire poor children to work at the bootstrap factory."
President Obama's biggest threat remains his own record—and the haunting echo of his own voice promising hope and change.
And, as ever, the media will be a wild card: Paul Krugman observes, both amusingly and depressingly: "All indications are, however, that Campaign 2012 will make Campaign 2000 look like a model of truthfulness. And all indications are that the press won't know what to do—or, worse, that they will know what to do, which is act as stenographers and refuse to tell readers and listeners when candidates lie."
Can't wait!
Open Thread
Hosted by the Stardust.
This week's open threads have been brought to you by awesome matchbook covers.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
(Don't forget to tip your bartender!)
Film Corner: Mission Make Me Pee My Pants
Say what you will about Tom Cruise (just don't say it here because it's not on-topic!), but the man is fearless like a brave thing made out of courage with lots of little daring bits all over it. Below is video from the upcoming fourth installment in his Mission Impossible series, in which Cruise does one of the most amazing stunts I've ever seen, dangling on a wire at the top of the Burj Khalifa skyscraper in Dubai, a mile and a half off the ground.
Please note that if you don't like stomach-churning videos of people doing things at great heights, you should definitely not hit play on this video.
Text Onscreen: Tom Cruise Scales Burj Khalifa—A behind-the-scenes look at how Tom Cruise filmed his stunts on Dubai's Burj Khalifa during the making of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.I'm really excited for this film. I quite enjoy the Mission Impossible films, in no small part because Iain looooooooves them, and his boundless enthusiasm for each new one is truly infectious. Also: Sawyer!
Followed by: Images of Dubai, images of the looming Burj Khalifa, and images of Cruise on a wire, preparing for the stunt, accompanied by the "Mission Impossible" theme music.
Brad Bird, Director: We're a mile and a half above the earth, heh heh, on the tallest building on the planet—the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. And we're filming a scene where Tom Cruise is climbing on the outside of the building.
Dude Who Appears to Be the Stunt Coordinator: Okay, Tom, we're ready to go.
Followed by: Video of Tom Cruise stepping out of the building at its top, protected by only by a minimal safety harness.
Bird: This is just another day at work on Mission Impossible. [nervous chuckle]
Several People: Three-two-one-ACTION!
Followed by: Video of Tom Cruise LEAPING OFF THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING AND SWINGING AROUND IT OMFG ALL THE BLOOD JUST RUSHED OUT OF MY BRAIN AND I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT FALL OVER.
Followed by: More video of Tom Cruise running all over the outside of this goddamn building, with "Mission Impossible" theme music, and then running and leaping out a window, and then I CAN'T EVEN TAKE IT HE IS SO HIGH UP OMFG TOM CRUISE YOU ARE MAKING ME GIGGLE NERVOUSLY AND UNCONTROLLABLY I AM SO SCARED FOR YOU EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE STILL ALIVE BECAUSE THIS IS SO TERRIFYING AND ALSO IMPRESSIVE GOOD FOR YOU!
It's Not Just You
Comments look different all of a sudden, and they're loading only 5 at a time, with avatars, despite the fact I have "don't show avatars" selected, as always, under settings.
I just want to make it clear that I did not change settings to make avatars viewable without any warning to commenters who may have wanted to change their avatars if they would be made viewable to this community.
I'm not sure what is causing the glitch or when it will be fixed, but, in any case, I've increased the font size for now, so at least it's readable.
My apologizes for the inconvenience.
UPDATE: Okay, it looks like the avatars are gone again now, and the original design has been restored, thanks to Space Cowboy. Hopefully comments will start loading normally again soon.
Perfect
Trump to Moderate Republican Debate.
It's funny, because I've just been thinking the past few never that what the Republican primary needed was MORE DEBATES and also MORE DEBATES MODERATED BY WORLD-CLASS ABSURDITY MERCHANTS.
This Is (Soon To Be) a Real Thing in the Real World
MMMHop: A Hanson-brand beer based on their 1997 earworm "MMMBop," scheduled to hit store shelves near you early next year.
Zac announced the product during a talk at Oxford Union, where he also explained why there were so few Hanson products on the market: "What is vital is that Hanson merchandise is quality and not made solely with the purpose of profit. We have a board game and even a record player to play our last record on, but we will never make dolls, lunch boxes or toothbrushes that play our songs for example…It's vital our fans have trust in everything Hanson do."Cute!
I'm not much of a fan of beer myself, so I'm holding out for the Irene Cara-brand "What a Riesling!"
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by the splits.
Recommended reading:
Mannion: Ode to Joylessness
Pam: Herman Cain Launches Web Site Catering to Misogynists, Attacking 'Husbandless' Accusers
Andy: GOP Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson Supports Marriage Equality
Jamelle: Hardly a Winning Performance
Jos: It's About Time for Some Trans Issues Wins
Echidne: On the Skills of Getting Elected vs. Governing
Susie: Drilled
sheridf: Reed-ing Gender Between the Lines
Leave your links in comments...
Quote of the Day
"Bigfoot dressed as a circus clown would have a better chance of beating President Obama than Newt Gingrich, a similarly farcical character."—An anonymous Republican insider, one of many "anonymous Republican insiders" who offer equally amusing assessments of candidate Gingrich, who has far less favor among the GOP establishment than he does among conservative voters generally, because people who know him know that he's a multidimensional garbage nightmare.
One Way To End A Survey Call
Scene: Last night, my home.
(Phone rings.)Hey, they were great cars.
ME: Hello?
SURVEY TAKER: Good evening. I'm from ______ Research conducting a consumer survey.
ME: Okay.
SURVEY TAKER: When you think of a brand of a luxury automobile, what name comes to mind?
ME: Pierce-Arrow.
SURVEY TAKER (long pause): Okay, sir, thank you.
(Click.)
Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.
