Photo by Michael Azen, via The Maryland Zoo in Baltimore.
Twittering! With Liss and Deeky!
Yesterday, on Twitter:
Shakestweetz: In which Professional Homosexual Deeky W. Gashlycrumb suggests an alternative hobby for the homosex-obsessed: http://bit.ly/p2oEKL
DeekyMD: I love that I am a Professional Homosexual now.
Shakestweetz: I'm totes gonna get you business cards.
[Later that day...]
Shakestweetz: You're open for business. (Pun intended, obviously.) http://bit.ly/pFCwYJ
DeekyMD: You're such a doofus! LOLOLOL!!
This is a real thing in the world.
Shaker Suzanne emails that JC Penney is currently selling this girls' shirt on its website. And not only are they selling a shirt reading "I'm too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me," but the catalog blurb reads: "Who has time for homework when there's a new Justin Bieber album out? She'll love this tee that's just as cute and sassy as she is."
Are you kidding me?
What makes this even more tragically hilarious is JC Penney's "Commitment to Inclusion & Diversity" on their corporate website, which asserts that their "long-term success depends on our ability to leverage the unique skills of our diverse workforce." Presumably, that includes women. Presumably, their female employees need to know basic skills that they learned doing their own homework.
JC Penney also claims to "believe in doing what is 'right and just'; jcpenney is committed to being a good corporate citizen through the support of environmental, social and ethical initiatives." Here's a neat social and ethical initiative for you: FEMINISM. Or, if you prefer: Not treating girls like garbage.
Contact JC Penney and politely ask them to remove this item from their catalog and their stores: Tel: 1.972.431.1000
Twitter: @jcpenney
Facebook: JC Penney's Page
Let's Start the Day with a Little Good News
Reuters—Judge blocks parts of Texas abortion law on sonograms:
A federal judge temporarily blocked key provisions of a Texas abortion law on Tuesday that would require women seeking the procedure to view a sonogram and listen to the heartbeat of their fetus.US District Judge Sam Sparks, I think I might love you a little bit.
The law, which had been due to go into effect on Thursday, was a major part of Republican Governor and presidential candidate Rick Perry's agenda in this year's Texas legislative session.
But the judge, in a victory for abortion rights activists, ruled in a preliminary injunction that there was cause to believe such a requirement was an unconstitutional burden on doctors.
"The act compels physicians to advance an ideological agenda with which they may not agree, regardless of any medical necessity, and irrespective of whether the pregnant women wish to listen," U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks said in the ruling.
He also struck down provisions that would have called for canceling a doctor's license or subjecting a physician to criminal penalty for failure to comply
The law, if the state were to later prevail in court, would require that a sonogram viewing take place 24 hours before an abortion, or two hours before the procedure for women who live over 100 miles from the abortion clinic.
In his ruling, the judge blocked the state from penalizing physicians who do not display the sonogram images in front of a pregnant woman, or have her listen to the fetus' heartbeat, if the woman declines that information.
Sparks, an Austin-based federal judge for the Western District of Texas, also took a dim view of a provision that would force women pregnant from rape or incest to certify that in writing if they do not wish to hear a doctor's explanation of the sonogram images.
"The Court need not belabor the obvious by explaining why, for instance, women who are pregnant as a result of sexual assault or incest may not wish to certify that fact in writing, particularly if they are too afraid of retaliation to even report the matter to police," Sparks wrote.
Naturally, the ruling will be appealed by Governor Rick Perry's administration, because this laws is necessary, according to Perry, so that "women have all information necessary to make an informed decision on an important medical procedure." I've already written about that mendacious argument no fewer than 783 times, so I won't belabor the point again, but just no: Women are not clueless dingalings who make the decision to have an abortion in a void of information; we know what we're doing, and we have all the information we need by the time we schedule an appointment to terminate.
Sonogram laws are just a despicable bit of bullying designed to try to emotionally manipulate women into subverting their own instincts. If Perry and the rest of the American Family Values Children Christian Liberty Freedom Patriot Association Foundation Organization were merely interested in providing women with information, sonograms would be offered as a option, not a mandatory requirement.
They're bullies. And Maude bless Judge Sam Sparks for stopping that bullying in its tracks.
At least for now.
Question of the Day
Deeky and I—who have an uncannily similar taste in music, down to favorite guitar licks and beloved lyrics in weird songs on obscure albums—both hate live albums, but we're willing to have our minds changed about them (no we're not). What's your favorite live album?
Photo of the Day
American actress Daryl Hannah is arrested as she joins a protest against the Keystone XL oil pipeline, outside the White House in Washington, August 30, 2011. Dozens were arrested on Tuesday in the protest against the pipeline that, if completed, will stretch from Canada to the gulf coast of the United States. [Reuters Pictures]In addition to being an environmental activist and a great comedic and dramatic actress, Daryl Hannah, who is rather famously a survivor of domestic abuse, is also an advocate against sexual violence and human trafficking.
I saw Splash when I was 10 years old, and I thought that Daryl Hannah was soooo beautiful. I longed to look like her. Twenty-seven years hence, my definitions of what constitutes a beautiful person have expanded—and I find her beautiful still.
Number of the Day
0: The number of times American University professor Allan Lichtman has incorrectly predicted presidential elections since 1984. Using a detailed election formula, he has accurately called every election since Ronald Reagan's reelection, and he says that Obama will win in 2012.
All the Better to Exploit You With!
Ryan at Gawker has an update on Google+'s garbage "real name" policy. Spoiler Alert: They need our real names so they can make more moneez!
[H/T to @ScottMadin.]
Take Us to Your Leader
Neat! Potentially life-supporting planet found: "Researchers from the Geneva astronomical observatory have discovered a planet which they say is one of the best candidates for the ability to support life. The planet—known as HD 85512b—and its star—HD 85512—are some 36 light years away from our solar system, according to an article published in the specialist magazine Astronomy & Astrophysics. It is 3.6 times heavier than Earth and takes just 54 days to orbit its sun. The article says the planet is at the inside limit of the 'habitable zone,' defined as the distance close enough to its star to stop water freezing, and far enough to prevent it evaporating away."
I'm sure I'm not the only person who, upon hearing of the possibility of life-supporting planets, even knowing that "life" may not mean complex organisms, nonetheless gets images of Independence Day—style alien invasion scenarios in her head.
But am I the only person who imagines that it is we, with our dwindling fossil fuel supply and lackluster enthusiasm for alternative energies, who are the marauding invaders...?
[Via Andy.]
Felonious Activities
[TW for homophobia]
Bryan Fischer, reigning d-bag at the AFA, wants to criminalize sodomy. As far as Fischer is concerned, touching your no-no is a big no-no.
On his radio show yesterday (where is this airing?) Fischer said: "Until the late 20th Century, homosexual activity was a felony offense in the United States of America, there is no reason why it cannot be a criminal offense once again." Hear that, homos? If Fischer had his way, your next Scattergories party would be against the law! (That's an activity homosexuals enjoy, isn't it?)
Oh, wait, I think he means sodomy.
And it's probably just the gay sodomy Fischer is worried about. It's unclear what Fischer thinks of non-gay sodomy between married, heterosexual couples. My guess is he gives it a big sad face. I bet Fischer gives everything the big sad face. Hey, does anyone know what the bible's official position is on backdoor action? If you've some insight, please let me know in comments. Or not. Honestly, I don't care. (Biblical scholars and pedants take note: I don't actually care.)
I'm not sure why Fischer and his ilk are sooooo obssessed with the gay sex. Especially considering how much they hate it. I mean, I talk about the gay sex all day long (follow my twitters for reference), and I actually enjoy it, but I know I talk about it a lot less than Fischer and the AFA does.
Jeez Louise, find a hobby, you guys! May I suggest Scattergories?
Dancing with the Stars
So, I have watched exactly one episode of Dancing with the Stars during its 1,200 seasons, then I wrote about watching that episode, then I never watched it again. It's not because I have standards in my Garbage TV viewing habits (I think we all know I don't); it just didn't really capture my interest. I mean, you've really got to deliver when A&E runs Billy the Exterminator re-runs on a loop and Ricky Bretherton's golden mane is one click away.
Anyway! The point is, I don't know shit about Dancing with the Stars.
In addition to not knowing shit about it, I generally don't give a shit about it. But the show just announced its cast for the upcoming season, and there is MUCH HULLABALOO because of the "controversial" cast members selected: Chaz Bono, a trans man, Carson Kressley, a gay man, and JR Martinez, an Iraq War veteran cum soap opera star and motivational speaker who sustained severe burns to nearly half his body, including his face, while serving in Iraq.
Naturally, these men are only "controversial" figures among people who are transphobic, homophobic, and ablist body policers. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those people about. Especially on Facebook, according to everyone who emailed me about this and told me that they are officially requesting leave from Planet Earth for gentler galaxies after reading reactions to the DWTS casting announcement.
Owing to aforementioned not knowing/giving a shit about DWTS, I don't have anything clever or wise to say about the casting, you know, besides: Good job, ABC, for not being total bigots! Here are some cookies!
But despite my lack of sagacious commentary, I wanted to open a thread where people who like DWTS and/or otherwise want to talk about the casting can do so in a space where people won't say terrible things (or will be booted if they do).
Here it is! Have fun!
Daily Dose of Cute
"I can't even look at you right now. I'm consumed by thoughts of Tony."
Olivia needs three things to be happy: A lap to sit on, scratches, more scratches.
The Thinker. As reminagined by a little stinker.
Quote of the Day
"Today, my ACLU connection would probably disqualify me."—Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, on how her background as a civil rights attorney and a champion of women's equality would, in today's political climate, likely prevent her confirmation to the Supreme Court.
Over at Think Progress, Ian notes: "As director of the ACLU's Women's Rights Project, Ginsburg was literally the single most important women's rights attorney in American history. She authored the brief in Reed v. Reed that convinced a unanimous Supreme Court to hold for the very first time that the Constitution's guarantee of Equal Protection applies to women. And her brief in Craig v. Boren convinced the Court to hand down its very first decision holding that gender discrimination laws are subject to heightened constitutional scrutiny. It is possible that modern doctrines preventing gender discrimination would simply not exist if Ruth Bader Ginsburg hadn't done the work she did for the ACLU. And yet, in today's era of rampant right-wing filibusters, that alone would disqualify her for a seat on the federal bench."
That is what a feminist backlash looks like.
Today in Rape Culture
[Trigger warning for sexual assault; rape culture.]
I'm no Professional Advice Columnist, but I'm pretty sure that telling someone to spend more time with and try to understand the emotional motivations of a "friend" who had sexually assaulted them more than once is terrible, terrible advice.
Also: I suspect, though I could be wrong, that if the letter-writer had been a woman whose platonic male friend had twice masturbated in bed with her, while staring at her and touching her while she slept, instead of a gay male whose platonic male friend did the same, male Professional Advice Columnist Cary Tennis might not have been quite so quick to encourage her to try to see things from his perspective.
One of the things about the rape culture is that it depends on men feeling, and being told, that it was nothing of any consequence when they are sexually violated, surely not a sexual violation, because that's something that happens to women, and eww no one wants to be like them.
Men, of course, are sexually violated, and, when they are, they shouldn't be admonished to pretend they weren't, or to get over it, or to (FOR FUCK'S SAKE) "meet with him and have a frank talk. You might begin by saying that you care deeply about him but there are some things he has done that you find hard to accept. Maybe he can tell you something about what's been going on in his life, things that he has not mentioned, things that don't make him look good, things that will help you understand why he did the things he did."
Yiiiiiiiiiiikes.
I also suspect, though I could again be wrong, that if the letter-writer had been a straight man whose platonic male friend had twice masturbated in bed with him, he wouldn't be exhorted to talk to his friend "about the emotional needs that are driving his behavior."
Because the letter-writer is a gay man, and because of our cultural expectations that gay men share the nurturing qualities and emotional capacity we assign to women, he seems to get the worst advice of all: Pretend you weren't sexually violated in a heinous betrayal of your friendship, because you are a man, but give your predatory friend the benefit of your understanding and compassion, because you are a gay man.
So much yuck, Cary Tennis. SO MUCH!
Film Corner!
From the makers of Superbad, a comedy about cancer! 50/50 stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a dude with cancer, and Seth Rogen as his BFF who will totes help him exploit his cancer to get laid. No, seriously.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt tells Seth Rogen that he has cancer: "They found it yesterday." SethRo is stricken: "They found it yesterday?! Who found it?" JGL retorts: "My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans. Who do you think found it?" Ho ho! Very good cancer joke, based on the very real situation in which you tell your friend that you have cancer and your friend definitely wants to know who made the diagnosis.
True Fact: Jokes by privileged straight white male characters containing the words "my cleaning lady" are automatically ten times funnier.
Wait, no, not funnier. BAAAAAAARRRRRRRFier.
SethRo tries to cheer up JGL by reminding him of all the famous dudes who have beat cancer, like Lance Armstrong and Dexter. I guess that pep talk didn't help, because JGL goes to see a therapist played by Up in the Air's Anna Kendrick who is having a nice little career so far playing competent, professional women who privileged straight white male characters think are too young to be doing their jobs (but maybe she can teach them something about LIFE!).
He asks her how old she is and she says 24, to which he replies, "So you're like Doogie Howser?" Good joke, because he was a teenager, so that totally makes sense. She doesn't know who Doogie Howser is. (Don't 24-year-olds know who Doogie Howser is? I consult with a 22-year-old who assures me he knows who Doogie Howser is.) JGL tells her he's a teenage doctor, and because she is from Planet Zuh, Dr. Anna Kendrick asks, "Does he work here?" CLASSIC!
JGL gives a wry grin that is supposed to convey that he is Getting Older and Kids These Days or whatever, but he is only 30 in real life and is playing a 27-year-old in the movie and looks like he's 17 (like Doogie Howser: Teenager), so nothing is making any sense.
Surely if it was important to have this scene of Doogie Howser-related existential crisis (in case the CANCER weren't enough), someone other than JGL should be playing this role. Someone who is maybe 47, and looks at least 37, and is playing a character of 42, so feeling dubious about his 24-year-old psychologist would marginally make sense from an age standpoint, despite still being needlessly prejudiced.
Anyway! I am thinking about this scene and how stupid it is way too much!
JGL doesn't want his mother to move in just because he has cancer. He does, however, want to shave his head. He borrows SethRo's shaver, which whoooooooops he uses to trim body hair uh-oh pubes good lord am I really watching this?
Montagery. JGL is having a nervous breakdown and calls Dr. Anna Kendrick. JGL tells SethRo he's got a 50/50 chance of survival. SethRo tells him: "That's not that bad. If you were a casino game, you'd have the best odds." 70s music. (Arthur Lee's "Everybody's Got to Live," which is so the best thing about this trailer. You deserve more, Arthur Lee's song!) Knit caps. Bro-hugs. SethRo tells JGL that girls will "go for" him because he has cancer. He walks up to girls in a club and says, "I have cancer." They look at him like he is a gross creep. SethRo pulls him away: "I was wrong. It's weird like that. It doesn't sound cool."
But don't worry! Things are gonna work out. JGL's bald head attracts the attention of some young women who ask to touch it. "You can do more than touch it!" SethRo says. Yes, ladies: RUB YOUR PUSSIES ON IT!
This is all funny because cancer. The end.
Breaking Bad Open Thread
Big doin's out at the chicken ranch with Jesse and Gus.
Sunday's episode will be discussed in infinitesimal detail, so if you haven't seen it, and don't want any spoilers, take your fried chicken and move along...
More Evidence That YOU Don't Understand 12 Dimensional Chess
In the latest Gallup poll, President Obama's job approval rating averaged 40%. But the even more important numbers are these: Support for the president is down 11% among liberals (from 79% at summer's beginning to 68% now) and down 12% among moderates (from 59% to 47%).
After months of triangulation, capitulation, and bipartisanship to appeal to the all-important moderates, their support for him is now below 50%.
Meanwhile, he's losing his liberal base just as quickly.
At some point, the administration is going to have to acknowledge at long last that is not because we don't understand politics, but because we do.
[H/T to @PeterDaou.]
Today in Rick Perry Is Terrible
This is not how things are supposed to work in a democracy:
Now, as Texas Gov. Rick Perry embarks on a presidential campaign, it is unlikely the public will access records that provide many revealing details about his decade-long tenure as governor. While Perry extols open government - most recently challenging Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke to "open the books" of the nation's central bank - he has adopted policies that shroud his own office in a purposeful opaqueness that confounds prying reporters or any member of the public questioning his policies.This election's collection of miscreants running for the GOP nomination not only make George W. Bush look liberal and John McCain look consistent; they also make Richard Nixon look ethical. Yikes.
...Over the past decade, the Perry administration has withheld information in response to about 100 open records requests, instead seeking review by the Texas attorney general's office. In two cases last year, Perry's office acknowledges it failed to meet legal deadlines for responding to the requests, or otherwise delayed in violation of well-established procedures outlined in the Texas Public Information Act.
Most of the withheld documents involved contracts, bidding and oversight of programs in which state money flows to entrepreneurs, privately held companies and universities from Perry's two economic development funds, the Emerging Technology Fund and the Texas Enterprise Fund. In some cases, the requests involve entities headed by Perry campaign donors and political appointees.
...Houston attorney Joe Larsen, who represents the Freedom of Information Foundation of Texas, said he believes Perry's office is violating state law by automatically purging all staff members' computers of e-mails older than seven days.
...Reporters learned that Perry took a 2004 trip to the Bahamas with San Antonio businessman James Leininger, a campaign donor, and antitax advocate Grover Norquist after being spotted scuba diving by a tourist. The trip did not appear on his schedule released under the state Public Information Act.
