Gov. Rick Perry received a tepid response when he addressed the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials on Thursday, joking about the pronunciation of a Hispanic appointee's last name and frequently staring blankly at the audience when they failed to respond to his conservative applause lines.
...[A] joke about how perfect it was to appoint Jose Cuevas to the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission because his name sounds like Jose Cuervo - a brand of tequila - fell flat. Perry struggled to regain his confidence as he described Texas as a land of opportunity.
"You have a role model you can look up to, someone who proves that any obstacle can be overcome," Perry said. "That is especially true for a Hispanic child in Texas."
Obstacles like your governor making fun of your name, you mean? Or obstacles like this:
Democratic Mayor Julian Castro derided the latest legislative session and Perry's emergency bills, as "the most anti-Latino agenda we've seen in more than a generation, without shame."
Below is the trailer for the new film Footloose, which is a remake of the old film Footloose, except without any of the good stuff, like Kevin Bacon, Kenny Loggins, Dianne Wiest, John Lithgow, and hey look it's Sarah Jessica Parker dancing around with Chris Penn! The new version, which didn't even have the sense to cast Kevin Bacon in the Mean Old Conservative role (or maybe he just had the sense not to accept the offer), basically looks just like the old version, except pointless and terrible.
Teenagers being played by adults are dancing at a party in a barnyard. They are also drinking beer from kegs. A car full of them takes off. The male driver leans over to kiss his girlfriend while he is driving. There is a honk, headlights, and a crash. RIP reckless teens. And, naturally, RIP dancing—as the City Council responds to a drunk-driving accident by criminalizing "public dancing among Bomont's minors." Sure.
Already this movie needs to be thrown in the garbage, and we're 30 seconds into the trailer.
In the original Footloose, there's no elaborate set-up for the dance-ban that is central to the story. It's just a stupid rule supported by a prominent preacher in a small town who's desperately worried about his property getting ruined daughter getting pregnant. (I haven't seen Footloose in awhile, so there may have been a plot thread about Reverend Lithgow's anti-dance fervor partially being a reaction to some tragedy, but, if so, it was limited to his character's motivation, not something shared by the whole town.) And in 1984, that was an entirely believable premise; in fact, the story was loosely based on real events in a town in Oklahoma.
Almost thirty years later, though there are certainly small, rural towns in which stuff like that still happens, they tend to be towns so cloistered and isolated and anachronistic that teenage residents don't even have access to the pop culture that's being banned. The whole concept doesn't really work anymore. So, okay, new variation on the concept needed. Fair enough. But if you don't want everyone with a brain barfing on your movie, you've got to do better than "fuddy-duddies overreact to car crash—and entire town inexplicably goes along with BANNING DANCING." Nope!
Don't insult us, Footloose 2011.
Anyway, Ren arrives in Bomont, pop. 19,300, according to the welcome sign, way too many people for how small-town this small town is supposed to be, further undermining the incredible premise that the City Council could unilaterally ban underage dancing. He has come to live with his aunt and uncle and two little girl cousins, who think he's the coolest cat, no doy.
His uncle gives him a broken-down VW Beetle, the same one that everyone has laying around their garages in the movies, and tells Ren it's all his if he can fix it up. Which, naturally, he can, because all teenage boys are mechanics.
Ren goes to school. The preacher's daughter's friend thinks he's cute. Because of his Boston, or possibly Australian, accent, his soon-to-be-BFF Willard thinks Ren talks funny. (Wait—is this really a remake of Grease 2? Because that would cool.) Montagery. Ren and the preacher's daughter observe each other from various distances and make "witty" observations about each other. She takes him to a secret dance, where they bump and grind.
There is not the sound of a scratching record, because none of the people in this movie or likely to buy tickets to this movie have ever seen a record ("What is that—a Blu-Ray for dinosaurs?"), but THERE SHOULD BE! Because the Reverend Dennis Quaid (yup) has shown up at the totally-not-remotely-secret dance party where everyone is dancing SO HARD! The Reverend Quaid looks disappointed.
He takes his daughter home and asks her what he's going to do with her. She back-talks him and slams her bedroom door in his face. He stands there impotently. Good job, Reverend Dad!
Ren learns about the car crash. A cop tells him to get his "cheap thrills" (sure) "outside of Bomont." As if cars drive that far!
Ren becomes a pro-dance activist. The Reverend Quaid tells his daughter he's heard Ren is trouble. The cop who hassles Ren seems to agree. Gosh, this town stinks!
Ren dances angry. Hello there, iconic scene from the original Footloose! Psst, if you are going to invite comparisons to the classic film you're remaking, you'd better be sure that your new star is at least as charismatic as the old star. Whoooooooooooooops! All I can think of is Kevin Bacon and how he is not being lived up to!
Also: I'm a little bit thinking of Bret McKenzie. In any case, I am NOT thinking, "This movie looks really good."
Blah blah the kids are uprising. They're teaching the adults a thing or two about life, yo. And, just like conservative religious reactionaries in real life, the fake conservative religious reactionaries in this movie are totally going to listen to reason and repeal that dance ban. It's like some real cinéma vérité shit.
Montage of scenes from the movie. Fighting. Kissing. Iconic maroon prom jacket. Etc. There is literally no mystery or surprise. It's not a trailer—it's a synopsis. Normally, I would make some snarky comment here about how I don't even need to see the film now, except this is a remake of a film that is still constantly shown on television and everyone has seen dozens of times, so NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS FILM. At all. Ever. Just watch the original. The end.
Democratic Representative Barney Frank and Republican Representative Ron Paul are living the bipartisan dream—by introducing legislation to "remove marijuana from the list of federal controlled substances and cede to the states enforcement of laws governing pot. The legislation would [also] allow individuals to grow and sell marijuana in states that make it legal."
That's one of the smartest pieces of legislation about which I've read in ages.
The bill has no chance of passing the Republican-controlled House.
I don't know what's more shameful from the man who once said (with a straight face, pun intended): "It is no secret that I am fierce advocate for equality for gay and lesbian Americans. It is something that I have been consistent on and something that I intend to continue to be consistent on during my presidency."—the absolutely pathetic assertion that his position on same-sex marriage is "evolving," which is such a blatant excuse for waiting to support same-sex marriage until it's politically expedient to do so, or the equally pathetic "state's rights" punt, despite the abundance of evidence that letting some states grant same-sex marriages in a republic where the federal government collects taxes and provides survivor entitlements (just for a start) but does not recognize same-sex unions of any sort is an untenable situation.
And aside from how comprehensively mendacious and politically inept and flatly fucking stupid these absurd positions make Obama look, they also make him look devoid of any trace of basic decency and compassion, a totally unprincipled and cravenly triangulating dipfuck of epic proportions on one of the most important social justice issues in the nation of which he's president.
To which he once pledged his "fierce advocacy." Snort.
And this garbage rhetoric on same-sex marriage is also, I will note, completely inconsistent with his trademark hopey-changey unity shtick—because endorsing states' rights to be institutionally divisive, both internally and among each another, doesn't even exist in the same galaxy as a vision of a unified nation with common purpose.
No, I'm not surprised by Obama's unfulfilled promises. I am just contemptuous at every occasion I am given to gander at what a catastrophic failure as an ally he really is.
You look like a jerk, Obama. You are a jerk. Gross.
[Trigger warning for sexual violence; physician assault.]
I would say this is unbelievable, except, by virtue of writing about this garbage day in and day fucking out, it is all too believable: The Florida Board of Medicine has decided in a 7-3 decision that being convicted of rape should not be an impediment to practicing medicine in the state.
The board, meeting in Ft. Lauderdale, made the decision in the case of Tampa doctor Mark Seldes a former Air Force flight surgeon who was serving in South Korea when he was accused of raping a civilian co-worker [while she was unconscious]. He was convicted in a military court-martial in 2008, served 3 years in prison, and was dismissed from the service for rape and adultery. He was also forced to be registered as a sex offender, and appears in the Florida Sex Offender Registry.
...[T]he board voted 7-3 to allow Seldes to practice, so long as he completes 300 hours of community service, remains in a monitoring program for troubled physicians, and works in a government facility.
The state agreed not to put him on formal probation, after Seldes argued that probation might make it hard for him to get a job in the future.
...if whatever glitch is causing Hotmail not to work in Firefox got fixed sometime in the next century.
As much as I love having two separate browsers open all the time, I'm feeling nostalgic for the way things used to be work.
(Note: Just a complaint, not a solicitation of help. I have tried allllllll the fixes recommended by both Hotmail and Firefox, and none of them work. Not for me, and not for the other folks who are experiencing the same problem. Anyone who tells me to clear my cache gets automatically banned for life.)
Companies are hoarding a record amount of cash as fears of another Lehman-like credit crisis, weak demand and a lack of incentives from the Obama Administration cause chief executives to choose a negative real return on their money over hiring workers or building a new plant.
The current members of the S&P 500 are sitting on about $800 billion in cash and cash equivalents, the most ever, according to data by Birinyi Associates, even as the unemployment rate has ticked back above 9 percent.
"I know, we know, every employer knows, that many women suffer terribly. Most take tablets for it and don't take two or three days off monthly, but it happens."—Alasdair Thompson, head of New Zealand's Employers and Manufacturers Association, digging in after receiving criticism for his assertion that female workers are paid an average of 12% less than their male colleagues because "once a month they have a sick problem."
Well, it's like I always say: If only businesses would build out menstruation huts for the ladies, our bosses wouldn't need to worry about our monthly sickness!
I have worked with a lot of women in my life, many of whom don't even have periods for various reasons, and none of them have taken several days off every month. I'm sure, however, that there are women in the world who do, and I imagine that's evidence of one of several health issues specific to cis women which generally don't qualify as disability, for all the usual reasons.
Anyway, one thing I really love about this quote from the head of the Employers and Manufacturers Association is how it effectively sets up "every employer" and "women" as mutually exclusive groups. Nice.
President Obama will be in Central New York today. Because this is the most important thing to happen in these parts since last summer, the media has been all over it. Here's a sample of the local NBC/CBS/CW affiliate's coverage:
[A photograph of the local TV news proclaiming that "President Obese [Will Be] Visiting Upstate NY."]
...as the Democrats bomb Yemen and the Republicans continue their war on uteri, jobless claims are up again:
The number of Americans filing new claims for unemployment benefits rose last week, suggesting little improvement in the labor market this month after employment stumbled in May.
Initial claims for state unemployment benefits climbed 9,000 to a seasonally adjusted 429,000, the Labor Department said on Thursday. Economists had expected claims to come in at 415,000.
..."Again no quick rebound in employment. We're still in the soft patch that we have had for a couple of months now," said Sean Incremona, an economist at 4CAST in New York.
Yeah. A couple months now.
The number of people on emergency unemployment benefits rose 5,728 to 3.30 million in the week ended June 4, the latest week for which data is available. A total of 7.54 million people were claiming unemployment benefits during that period under all programs.
Long-time readers will recall my writing, oh, I dunno, a million times or so in the last seven years about the ubiquitous corporate practice of not filling jobs when people leave and simply redistributing their work among remaining staff, who aren't compensated for the additional duties.
This is the big secret behind American productivity going up with fewer workers, especially in small companies: Someone quits, or someone gets fired, and they don't get replaced. Their work gets divided up among the remaining staff, and the extra cash goes in the coffers. Everyone I know at a corporate job complains about how they're part of a skeleton crew—and don't get paid for overtime.
It's a despicable practice, largely ignored in discussions of workers' rights, which is, in itself, an issue that barely gets lipservice even from our allegedly liberal Senators and Reps these days.
Mother Jones' Monika Bauerlein and Clara Jeffery have a great piece [TW for ableist language] this week about that very despicable practice, the "speedup." I highly recommend reading it, because the speedup is a huge part of the underlying reason for our protracted unemployment rate and wage stagnation, as well as the explanation for why productivity and profits keep rising despite high unemployment.
It also underlines why maintaining a functional democracy while selling out the government to corporations who have been granted personhood is impossible.
Video Description: Basically, it's just Legolas saying "They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!" over and over, set to a dance version of the LOTR theme, interspersed with funny reaction shots from Aragorn and Gollum. At one point, Celeborn shows up to say, "Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him," and Legolas replies, "A Balrog of Morgoth." The video ends with Gollum shouting, "Leave now! And never come back!"
I know that sounds completely stupid, but it is utterly hilarious. I laugh endlessly every time I watch it.
As an onion lady, I'm sorry to report that the New York State Senate has approved making corn the state vegetable. There's no word yet on gay marriage.
Shaker allgoodtees just sent me the link to the first pictures of Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins. I won't post them here because I don't want to accidentally spoil anything for anyone who's studiously avoiding all Hobbit-related stuff until they've got the popcorn in their hands and the lights have gone down, but EVERYONE ELSE GO LOOK! IT'S MARTIN FREEMAN AS BILBO BAGGINS!
* * *
Three honest-to-Maude true Hobbit-related facts about me:
1. I have seen the Rankin-Bass animated version of The Hobbit more than 100 times, and I own a 12-inch vinyl audio version of it that I listened to incessantly when I was a kid. I practically know it by heart.
2. I was so terrified of Gollum when I was a kid that I had recurring nightmares about him and MamaShakes had to tear a picture of Gollum out of a Hobbit coloring book I had because it scared me so badly.
3. When I was 17, I and another female classmate were wearing sandals in class one day, and a male classmate noticed we each had a few wispy hairs on our big toes, which naturally was the Grossest Thing Ever OMG!!!!1!!eleventy!!1! ... I responded to the crescendoing mockery with the first thing that came to my head: "FUCK OFF WE'RE HOBBITS!"
As I noted on Tuesday, anti-choicers are making arguments like, "[Planned Parenthood has] made it clear what their priority is. They wouldn't stop providing abortions even in the interim to keep the women's health services," and state Republicans are making arguments like, "If [Planned Parenthood] wants to receive taxpayer money, they can simply stop practicing abortion," in order to try to spin this defunding horseshit as Planned Parenthood's responsibility.
But the women (and men) who use Planned Parenthood aren't fooled. They want access to abortion, and they want access to Planned Parenthood, which means they don't want Planned Parenthood to trade away abortion services in exchange for funding.
Indiana conservatives are banking on low-income women being stupid. That is a very bad bet.
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