Shakesville

Giuliani 4 Prez

Oh boy. Former New York Mayor Rudy "A Noun, a Verb, and 9/11" Giuliani is reportedly considering running for president. Again. Despite the fact that his 2008 candidacy flamed out faster than a damp sparkler.

Speaking at a dinner with reporters in Washington, [New York Republican Representative Peter King], who was an enthusiastic Giuliani supporter in 2008, said the former mayor has been quietly lining up support and exploring strategy. Giuliani has also examined the mistakes his campaign made in '08, when he did not seriously compete in a contest until the Florida primary, by which time he was hopelessly behind in the race.

Yes, the problem was Giuliani's failure to seriously compete early enough, not the fact that he's a thrice-married philanderer who spent most of his political career in New York being unacceptably liberal on social issues by his party base's retrofuck standards, and, as a presidential candidate, was virtually indistinguishable from a parrot trained to squawk "9/11!" at random intervals. Oh, and there was that whole Kerik thing. Whooooooooooops!

It's unclear what effect a Giuliani candidacy would have on the primary campaign. There is an ongoing conversation among Republican political insiders about supposed voter unhappiness with the GOP field, and after Indiana governor Mitch Daniels' decision not to run, pundits and strategists have focused on hopes that New Jersey governor Chris Christie or House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan might be coaxed into running. Others have mentioned the name of former Florida governor Jeb Bush. Few observers have looked to Giuliani as a possible savior of the Republican Party.

LULZ.

Thing is, running Giuliani makes as much sense as any of the other dipfucks currently on the list of potential contenders, because it doesn't actually matter who the Republicans stick on the ticket. The next election is going to be a referendum on Obama's first term, and the vast majority of voters will either vote for Obama, or vote for Whoever the Other Choice Is, based almost exclusively on what they think of Obama's leadership. The GOP might as well run a goat and a paperclip; as long as the goat hates taxes and gay marriage and the paper clip wears a flag lapel pin, they'll get 30% of the vote, guaranteed.

[Via @EricBoehlert.]

Open Thread

Hosted by Cthulhu.

Question of the Day

What's on your summer reading list?

(Or, if you're on the other side of the world: What's on your hibernation reading list?)

Photo of the Day

A destroyed helicopter lies on its side in the parking lot of the Joplin Regional Medical Center in Joplin, Missouri, Sunday, on May 22, 2011.

The above photo [AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein] is taken from The Atlantic's collection of photos, which can be viewed here, documenting the aftermath of the tornadoe that devastated Joplin, Missouri: "At least 90 people died in a massive tornado that left a path of destruction nearly a mile wide through the heart of Joplin, Missouri, on Sunday. The cyclone destroyed hundreds of homes and vehicles, as well as a high school and a hospital. Rescue teams have been working hard to find and assist as many people as possible, even as another storm system passes through region today. Tens of thousands are now living without power around this small city, where an estimated 30 percent of the structures were flattened or damaged by the massive storm."

My thoughts are with Shakers who live and/or have loved ones in the affected area. It seems coarse to wish that you and your loved ones are all okay, when we know that there are people who are not okay, but there it is. I am hoping you are among the people who are physically unhurt, and you have my profound compassion and sympathy for the hurt you are all certainly feeling.

There is all kinds of information about how to help here, including where to make donations to dedicated relief funds. Additionally, you can find information about locating and communicating with family members at the link.

Also: There will be so many pets and other animals in need of help, shelter, medical aid, food, and protection in the wake of such a devastating storm. Please consider making a donation to the Humane Society of Missouri, the ASPCA, or other rescue organization. If you live in the area, they will also be desperate for foster homes for rescued animals, so please consider volunteering if you can.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to leave other ideas for teaspooning opportunities in comments.

Number of the Day

Four: The number of women who will compete in the Indianapolis 500 this weekend. Congratulations to qualifiers Danica Patrick, Pippa Mann, Ana Beatriz, and Simona De Silvestro.

[H/T to Shaker Thunderbird.]

Pawlenty Officially In the Race for President; Also Officially Should Not Be President

[Trigger warning for sexual violence.]

Former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty officially announced his candidacy for president today, and promised to run a revolutionary campaign in which he will only tell voters the truth.

"In my campaign, I'm going to take a different approach. I am going to tell you the truth. The truth is Washington D.C.'s broken," Pawlenty said. "It's time for new leadership. It's time for a new approach. And, it's time for America's president – and anyone who wants to be president – to look you in the eye and tell you the truth."

Yawn etc. First of all, that sounds like a garbage club remix of Obama's 2008 "bring change to Washington" shtick and McCain's 20008 "straight-talk" shtick. Get your own bullshit talking points, Pawlenty!

Secondly, everyone knows that Republican politicking depends on exclusively telling lies, and even granting that Pawlenty might be trying for some sort of meta lie-telling by promising to truth-tell, this is weak sauce.

"Even I am wishing I had eyes so I could roll them!"—The Invisible Hand.

Anyway, Pawlenty's running, barrrrrrf, and let us all take a moment to remember that he is not only a bigot, a craven dirtbag, a transphobic jackass, an anti-choice dipshit, and a privileged fuckneck, among other fine qualities, but he is also the sort of unethical colossus who will agree to grant a pardon to a convicted sex offender so his wife could open a childcare center in the same house in which he allegedly sexually abused his daughter more than 250 times.

But Pawlenty was "heartsick" about it, and realizes in retrospect that granting a pardon to Jeremy Giefer "was probably not a good idea."

Let me go on record now with my controversial position that anyone who can only tell in hindsight that pardoning a convicted sex offender for the purposes of opening a childcare facility is too stupid to be president.

Daily Dose of Cute

Greyhound Cousins Edition

The main reason that Iain and I drove out to the east coast last week was so we could take Dudley with us, so he could meet his Uncle Space Cowboy and Aunt Space Cowgirl, and his (for realz) distant greyhound cousin Alfie, whom the Space Cowpokes coincidentally adopted several months after we adopted Dudley. There was, as we expected, an extraordinary amount of doggeh cuteness as a result.

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, both looking to the left

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, both looking to the left

"Hey, what's going on over there?"

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, both looking to the right

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, both looking to the right

"Hey, what's going on over here?"

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, both resting their chins to the side of their front paws

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, both resting their chins to the side of their front paws

"Let us know if anything is going on anywhere."
Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, each with their left front paw on their favorite squeaky toy

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, each with their left front paw on their favorite squeaky toy

Alfie: "I loves mah armadillo." Dudley: "I loves mah lobster."

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, mirror images of one another, sleeping

Dudley and Alfie lying on their respective dog beds, mirror images of one another, sleeping

Snoozing, in stereo.

Dudley and Alfie at their bowls, with Dudley eating out of the food bowl and Alfie drinking out of the water bowl

Dudley and Alfie at their bowls, with Dudley eating out of the food bowl and Alfie drinking out of the water bowl

Dudley: "I'll tackle the eating first." Alfie: "Cool, I'll tackle the drinking first."

Shakers, the GCQ (Greyhound Cute Quotient) was overwhelming last week. I barely survived.

Breaking News: Choice Makes People Happy

CNN has a refreshingly decent article about parenting choices, which discusses research finding that people who don't want children and then don't have them are as likely to be as happy as parents who wanted children. (File Under: No doy.)

The thing about this article that's good (and frustratingly rare) is the notion that individual choices are equally legitimate, because there are valid reasons to want kids and valid reasons to not want them. There's no objective right or wrong, but a subjective right or wrong for you.

Anyway, what struck me as I was reading this article is how very rooted in reproductive rights law it is. Despite the fact that controlling one's reproduction via contraception and abortion is not given explicit mention, the freedom of choice to achieve personal happiness re: parenting or not parenting is inextricably tied to a pro-choice culture.

When one reads a woman saying, "I know who I am and what I want in life, and know without a doubt children do not fit into that equation," it leaves little doubt that the pursuit of happiness promised everyone in this country must include the freedom of reproductive choice for women.

Indiana Update

Turns out that when a state ignores reports that say "restricting freedom of choice with respect to providers of family planning services is prohibited (by federal law)" and passes a law anyway doing just that, the federal law will raise its eyebrows at the state and ask it "WTF are you doing?"

WASHINGTON — The Obama administration is raising serious objections to a new Indiana law that cuts off state and federal money for Planned Parenthood clinics providing health care to low-income women on Medicaid.

The changes in Indiana are subject to federal review and approval, and administration officials have made it clear they will not approve the changes in the form adopted by the state.

Federal officials have 90 days to act but may feel pressure to act sooner because Indiana is already enforcing its law, which took effect on May 10, and because legislators in other states are working on similar measures.

If a state Medicaid program is not in compliance with federal law and regulations, federal officials can take corrective action, including “the total or partial withholding” of federal Medicaid money. The mere threat of such a penalty is often enough to get states to comply. Actually imposing the penalty would, in many cases, hurt the very people whom Medicaid is intended to help.

Administration officials said the Indiana law imposed impermissible restrictions on the freedom of Medicaid recipients to choose health care providers.

[...]

Asked for comment on the Indiana law, the federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services provided this statement, cleared by the White House: “Federal law prohibits federal Medicaid dollars from being spent on abortion services. Medicaid does not allow states to stop beneficiaries from getting care they need — like cancer screenings and preventive care — because their provider offers certain other services. We are reviewing this particular situation and situations in other states.”

Medicaid is financed jointly by the federal government and the states, which must comply with federal law as a condition of getting federal money.

[...]

Most of the money at stake is federal. The federal government pays about 66 percent of the cost of most services covered by Medicaid in Indiana, but for family planning the federal share is 90 percent — an indication of the importance historically attached to such services by Congress.

Just for reference, according to Guttmacher:

Title X–Supported Services in Indiana

•Title X–supported centers provided contraceptive care to 39,800 women in Indiana in 2008.(3)

•These centers served 11% of women in the state in need of publicly supported contraceptive services and supplies, compared with 27% served by such centers nationally.(3)

•Of the total contraceptive clients served by these centers, 77% had incomes at or below the federal poverty level, compared with 70% nationally.(8)

•In 2006, 40 family planning centers in Indiana received support from Title X.(9,10) They included:

Health department clinics: 4
Community health centers: 5
Planned Parenthood clinics: 13 (emphasis mine)
Hospital outpatient clinics: 9
Other independent clinics: 9

•These centers provided contraceptive care to the following numbers of clients:

Health department clinics: 1,960
Community health centers: 6,800
Planned Parenthood clinics: 25,780 (emphasis mine)
Hospital outpatient clinics: 9,960
Other independent clinics: 6,950

Impact of Services Provided by Title X–Supported Centers in Indiana

•In 2008, contraceptive services provided at Title X–supported centers in Indiana helped women avoid 8,300 unintended pregnancies, which would have resulted in 3,700 births and 3,500 abortions.(3)

•In the absence of these services, the level of abortion in Indiana would be 34% higher.(6,9)

•In 2006, contraceptive services provided at Title X–supported centers in Indiana helped women younger than age 20 avoid 2,929 unintended pregnancies.(11)

•In the absence of these services, the level of teen pregnancy in Indiana would be 21% higher.(7,11)

•By helping women avoid unintended pregnancies and the births that would follow, the services provided at Title X–supported centers in Indiana saved $32,013,000 in public funds in 2008.(12)

What the government ends up saying with regards to Indiana is important (though it is not party to court cases regarding the law) since besides being taken into consideration in any Indiana ruling, what the gov't says may affect similar legislation that's being considered in Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Texas, and Kansas. In fact:

Both houses of the Kansas Legislature have approved a 2012 budget bill that would redirect about $300,000 in federal family planning money from Planned Parenthood to state and local clinics. Gov. Sam Brownback, a Republican, is expected to sign it.

Of course he is.

Two Facts

[Trigger warning for sexual violence.]

1. The New York Times is still inexplicably paying conservative spambot Ross Douthat to pen a column for them on a regular basis.

2. Conservative spambot Ross Douthat used this week's column to imagine who will play accused rapist Dominique Strauss-Kahn in a movie which uses his alleged rape of a hotel maid as a metaphor for the indulgences Douthat claims are responsible for "the potential collapse of the European Union."

"The movie might begin," Douthat suggests, "with a decorously edited (rather than NC-17) version of Strauss-Kahn's Sofitel encounter."

I'm not remotely surprised that editors of the same paper which continuously and spectacularly fails in its coverage of rape cases would allow that swill to be printed in their paper, but I nonetheless, despite my absence of shock, find it resoundingly contemptible that the New York Times considers it entirely acceptable for their columnists to minimize sexual violence as an "encounter" and wax imaginative about how a real event of sexual violence might be "decorously" represented on the big screen.

Douthat goes on to imagine the camera cutting "to the French presidential election, in which Strauss-Kahn was widely expected to be a leading candidate," "zeroing in on the rise of Marine Le Pen, the far-right candidate who rode anti-immigration sentiment into a shocking lead in opinion polls this spring," providing "an intimate look at the latest wave of immigration, with scenes from a refugee camp in Italy, crowded with thousands of North Africans fleeing the violence in Tunisia and Libya," et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, all across Europe, until he imagines the camera finally returning "to Strauss-Kahn, formerly a key player in these negotiations, and suddenly just another New York City perp."

What binds all these plots together, with the former I.M.F. chief in a starring role, is the crisis of the European dream — the vision of a continent without borders or divisions, supervised by a benevolent and cosmopolitan elite.

...No screenwriter could have invented a better embodiment of this elite than the globe-trotting, presidency-aspiring Strauss-Kahn. ...Moreover, no creative mind could have dreamed up an allegation better calculated to vindicate the perception that today's Eurocrats are just a version of the old European aristocracy — exercising droit du seigneur in high-priced hotel rooms while they wait to catch a first-class flight to Paris.

Wow.

Douthat goes on to note that "the only question is how the movie ends," but imagines that "a drama that involves so much hubris seems likely to finish in tragedy instead."

Rape allegations are apparently just drama, not tragedy in and of themselves.

The complainant who filed charges against Strauss-Kahn is reportedly extremely traumatized by the assault, which is of absolutely no concern to Douthat, who feels entitled to appropriate her experience, no less an act of sexual violence against her, for his own wildly inappropriate (and frankly nonsensical) metaphor for publication in an internationally-read newspaper. I daresay he did not even consider the woman at the center of the complaint, because, like so many prominent men with pens before him who helped themselves to stories of women's rape when in want of metaphor, he hasn't the merest capacity for empathy with a survivor of sexual violence.

Or perhaps he simply lacks the will to engage it.

And, hey, she may be lying anyway, amirite?

Email the Public Editor, Arthur Brisbane and/or submit a Letter to the Editor.

[Commenting Guidelines: If you're considering making fun of Ross Douthat's name, don't.]

Pop Quiz!

Which is more ridiculous?

A. Former Congressman, former Speaker of the House, founder of multiple D.C.-based political orgs, and current GOP 2012 contender Newt Gingrich's absurd contention that he's "not a Washington figure."

B. Grade-A charlatan Harold Camping expressing that he is "flabbergasted" the Rapture he predicted failed to materialize.

Please show your work.

No!

That is not Darth Vader!

Well, This Is Interesting...

Barack Obama agrees to form joint national security body with UK:

Barack Obama will announce during his first state visit to Britain this week that the White House is to open up its highly secretive national security council to Downing Street in a move that appears to show the US still values the transatlantic "special relationship".

A joint National Security Strategy Board will be established to ensure that senior officials on both sides of the Atlantic confront long-term challenges rather than just hold emergency talks from the "situation room" in the White House and the Cobra room in the Cabinet Office.

...The new board is a rare step by the White House, which guards the secrecy of the national security council. Founded in 1947 by Harry Truman, the NSC was in 1949 placed in the executive office of the president, who chairs its meetings.

...The main discussions between Obama and Cameron will focus on Afghanistan, on which they have a similar outlook. They both aim to draw down combat troops and recognise that elements of the Taliban will have to be involved in a political settlement.

Obama told the Andrew Marr Show on BBC1: "I agree with – and what I think prime minister Cameron would be the first to say – is that we're not going to militarily solve this problem. We can't expect Afghanistan, one of the poorest countries in the world, suddenly to have the same institutions that an advanced and well-developed democracy has. What we can do, I think, is use the efforts that we've made militarily to broker a political settlement that ensures the Afghanistan constitution is abided by, that elections remain free and fair, that human rights including women's rights are respected."

Asked whether this would mean talking to the Taliban, Obama said: "Ultimately, it means talking to the Taliban, although we've been very clear about the requirements for any kind of serious reconciliation. The Taliban would have to cut all ties to al-Qaida. Renounce violence. And they would have to respect the Afghan constitution. Now those are some fairly bare-bones requirements."

All right then.

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Leif Garrett: "I Was Made For Dancin'"

It's A Fact!

Top five best TV theme songs:

1. "Hardcastle and McCormick"

2. "Three's Company"

3. "Sandford and Son"

4. "What's Happening!!"

5. "The Rockford Files"

Whoooooooooops I Barfed on Fox News

Actual Headline: "What Women Want in the Next President." All of us. Every single one. We all want the same thing, no doy.

Actual Author: Penny Nance, CEO of Concerned Women for America, an organization founded by Beverly LaHaye, wife of Tim LaHaye, author of the "Left Behind" masterworks.

Actual First Three Paragraphs:

Some women have something called "The List," a comprehensive catalog of qualities they must have in their future husband. Handsome? Check. Funny? Check. Honest? Check. Treats his mother like gold? Check. Man of faith? Check. Some people may find a list like this a little too picky and pretentious, but when picking a mate for life, women can't be too careful. This is the man who will hopefully father their children, provide for their family, and be the good husband she deserves.

While choosing a husband takes discernment, much thought and even gut instinct, the same can be said for choosing the president of the United States. Women are picky; no news there. But they need to be picky for the same reasons they need to be choosy about a husband.

Although not the father of her children, the president has a direct impact on their future. While not her family's provider, his economic policies directly impact her family's budget. While not the teacher of her children in school, his education policies will affect her kids in the classroom. And while not at home every night protecting her family, his military policies will impact the safety of the nation.

Breaking News: Barfbagz, Inc. marks record profits. Stock price soars.

There is oh so much more at the link, including gems like "Women know that and want the best for our nation and their own children and families. But as the men in our lives will testify, every so often we can't make up our minds." and "Conservative women want someone who will protect their families and keep them safe so they won't have to worry about their kids getting on an airplane or taking the train or bus."

Naturally, she's talking about TERRORISTS, not about the safety regulations that the Real Men^TM of the GOP endeavor to dismantle at every opportunity, nor stupid crap that feminized girlie-boys like Ralph Nader shove down our throats, like SEATBELTS.

[H/Ts to Shakers scatx and Leah.]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand We're Back

I had a restful and lovely week off, during which Iain and I traveled east to visit our good friends the Space Cowpokes. We drove cross-country, so we could bring Dudley with us and he could meet the Space Cowpokes' greyhound Alfie, who, by coincidence, is Dudley's fifth cousin. (Dudley was, as he always is, an absolute dream the whole time, even in the car.) Aside from the traveling itself, which is back-breaking and butt-numbing drudgery, our trip was fantastic. More on that later.

So, did I miss anything? Let's see…

Mike Huckabee isn't running for president, and neither is my garbage governor Mitch "Whoops My Head" Daniels, but this guy is. Someone please get Herman Cain a copy of the memo about his party being totally fucking racist.

Gallup finds for the first time that a majority of Americans support same-sex marriage and marriage equality. The Minnesota legislature nonetheless tells social justice to go to hell.

Hey, speaking of going to hell, LOL YOUR RAPTURE FAIL.

[TW] Hey, speaking of world-class jackassery, it was a great week to be Lars Von Trier, whose "hilarious" anti-Semitism was eclipsed by the news that former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been accused of rape, which in turn was not nearly as interesting as the news that former California governor and current entitled misogynist thunderfuck Arnold Schwarzenegger had a "love child" with his former maid. Maybe if Strauss-Kahn's crime provided opportunities for fun portmanteaus like "The Sperminator," it would get more coverage. If only something zany rhymed with "sexual assault" or "thinking about how often he's potentially done this before makes me barf." Oh well! (P.S. Does "France" believe any powerful white man to be capable of rape? Just checking.)

Did I hear that Obama said something about Israel last week…? Well, I'm sure whatever it was that it wasn't controversial!

In James Franco news, James Franco carved Brad Renfro's name into his arm in tribute to the deceased actor and as part of as part of Franco's new art project Rebel, because James Franco. What—did you think James Franco wouldn't carve Brad Renfro's name into his arm or something? You're so weird. It's ART, no doy. He also graduated from New York University:

James Franco in cap and gown, among a sea of other capped-and-gowned graduates

Congraduations, Professor Franco!
And finally, RIP Macho Man Randy Savage. I don't believe in heaven, but I like to think you and all the angels are snapping into Slim Jims, anyway.

Talk about all these things! Or none of them!

Onward, Shakers.

Open Thread

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Sunday Shuffle

Tears For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World

How about you?

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