In case you were suffering from the misapprehension that my governor Mitch Daniels was the only garbage nightmare Republican in Indiana who definitely wants to ruin the entire country, let me introduce you to Senator Dick Lugar.
An Observation
The success of Glee really just confirms what I have suspected all along: Cop Rock was merely ahead of its time.
Video Description: The captain, tired of the long-suffering officers' complaints, breaks into a song called (I shit you not) Quitcherbitchin'. Sample lyric: "Did ya'll forget / You're here to serve and protect? / That's right! / Too many bleedin' hearts in here / So stop cryin' in your beer! / And if you can't stand the heat / Get outta the kitchen / For the last time / Quitcherbitchin'!"
True Fact: Cop Rock is Shaker RedSonja's favorite show of all time.
What I'm Listening To
"I got my hair, on my head / My brains, my ears / My eyes, nose, and my mouth / I got my smile / I got my tongue, my chin / My neck, my boobies / My heart, my soul, and my back / I got my sex / I got my arms, my hands / My fingers, my legs / My feet, my toes, and my liver / Got my blood / I got life." Full lyrics below the fold.
I ain't got no home, ain't got no shoes
Ain't got no money, ain't got no class
Ain't got no friends, ain't got no schooling
Ain't got no work, ain't got no job
Ain't got no money, ain't no place to stay
Ain't got no father, ain't got no mother
Ain't got no children, ain't got no sisters or brothers
Ain't got no earth, ain't got no faith
Ain't got no church, ain't got no god
Ain't got no love
Ain't got no wine, no cigarettes
No clothes, no country
No class, no schooling
No friends, no nothing
Ain't got no god
Ain't got no, one more…
Ain't got no earth, no water
No food, no home
I said I ain't got no clothes
No job, no nothing
Ain't got long to live
And I ain't got no love
Ohhhhh ahhhhh…
But what have I got?
Ahhhhhhh what have I got?
Let me tell ya what I got
That nobody's gonna take away
Unless I wanna…
I got my hair, on my head
My brains, my ears
My eyes, nose, and my mouth
I got my smile
I got my tongue, my chin
My neck, my boobies
My heart, my soul, and my back
I got my sex
I got my arms, my hands
My fingers, my legs
My feet, my toes, and my liver
Got my blood
I got life
I've got laughs
I've got headaches, and toothaches
And bad times, too
Like you
I got my hair, my head
My brains, my ears
My eyes, my nose, and my mouth
I got my smile
I got my tongue, my chin
My neck, and my boobies
My heart, my soul, and my back
I got my sex
I got my arms, my hands
My fingers, my legs
My feet, my toes, and my liver
Got my blood
I got life
I've got my freedom
I've got life
Open Letter to the Ladies on International Women's Day
Hey, ladies! (Sorry, male femifarts and David Bowies; this one's strictly for the ladies.)
I just wanted to take a moment and say congratulations on your big 100th anniversary of celebrating how you're not equal to men yet. Or whatever this day is about. I'm not really clear on the concept, as they say. But I'm sure it's really cool, whatever it is.
Anyways, I was trying to figure out why women needed their own special day and shit, so I asked my Granny Pornstache, since she's almost as old as this celebration of ladies is herself. And she told me that when she was born, she couldn't even vote. And I was like, "No doy, grandma. I couldn't vote when I was a baby, either." She told me I was a nincompoop and then told me some long-ass yarn about some ancient grumpy chicks called the Suffragettes, who I can only guess were fat and single, so they couldn't get a man to vote for them or whatever.
I don't know if not being able to vote warrants a whole special day, especially since there are practically no women for you lady-lovers to vote for, anyway. Seems pretty suspect.
So I asked my stepmom Cheryl, who's been one of the smartest ladies I've ever known since we were in high school together, but she just started screaming at me about how she does all the housework even though she works, too, and me and my dad are perpetulizing gender inequality and some other shit. I think she's mad that I make more selling weed out of the garage than she makes as a nurse. Or maybe she's just on the rag.
In any case, I didn't get any good answers about International Women's Day from Cheryl, either.
So I asked my ex-wife/fiancée Tammy, and she started telling me about some boring story she read in People magazine about Angelina Jolie and humanitarian aid in some crap-hole country I couldn't find on a map, and I was like, "Angelina Jolie is hot," and she was like, "You're a jackass," and then we had a big fight about how I don't listen good or something.
I was no closer to finding out what International Women's Day was all about than when I'd started, and Tammy was all pissed-off at me, so I went over to my brother's house and I saw that my niece Sierra was working on a project about International Women's Day, so I asked her about it. And she told me the facts, man. Women still got it rougher than I thought, what with all the low pay and the laws that favor dudes in the workplace—like, at least for people who don't work out of their garage—and the not being represented by their governments and the violence and the not being able to say what happens to your own bodies.
I mean, fuck, man, even before you femifarts started rubbing off on me (that's what she said) and corrupting my grey matter with your high-falutin' ideas about ladyshit, I knew deep down, even if I wouldn't admit it for a lifetime supply of SlimJims, that women still had kind of a raw deal, but I figured that as long as women could manipulate men by being sexy and get cheap drinks on Ladies' Night, it was all sorta even-steven. I was way off base, though, man—STRAIGHT SCOOP.
So Happy 100th International Women's Day to all you ladies. I probably won't be around for number 200, unless my cryogenic brain-jar project works out, but if I am, I hope we'll all be lifting our space-martinis to celebrate some real goddamn equality and shit.
Oh, and before I go, I just want to say thanks to all the women who have made a difference in my life: My mom, Desiree Pornstache; my grandmas, Granny Pornstache (dad's side) and Granny Pornstache (mom's side); my ex-wife/fiancée Tammy; my stepmom Cheryl; my niece Sierra; Pamela Gorman; every teacher I had up to the seventh grade; Cathy; Loni Anderson; and, of course, Sarah Palin. God bless America and love the ladies.
Pornstache: Out.
[Previously by Butch Pornstache: Happy Taxes and Teabags Day, I'm a Proud Teabagger and Real American, Men and Trucks and Shit, Cats and Shit, Books and Cupcakes and Shit, Ron Swanson Kicks Butt, Dale Peterson is a Great American, I'm a Man and I Enjoy Mancations. Pamela Gorman is a Great American, Fireworks and Shit, My Great Review of Twilight: Eclipse, Farewell, Cathy!, DADT and Shit.]
International Women's Day News Round-Up and Open Thread
Here are some of the best (though not necessarily uplifting; trigger warning for violence) articles I've read this morning. Please feel welcome and encouraged to leave more links in comments.
Shelby Knox at Change.org—Make Change on 100th International Women's Day: "In honor of International Women’s Day, we’re highlighting actions across the site that have the potential to be just as revolutionary for women and girls as those campaigns waged by the generations before us (just look for the logo!). Start by checking out the petitions below, launched by major nonprofit players in the fight for gender equity, and sign on to make modern day history."
AP—100th anniversary of International Women's Day: "The head of the new U.N. women's agency said Tuesday there has been 'remarkable progress' since International Women's Day was first celebrated a century ago but gender equality remains a distant goal because women still suffer widespread discrimination and lack political and economic clout."
CBC—History of International Women's Day: "Although more associated today with recognizing and acknowledging the contributions of women, International Women's Day began as an offshoot of increased labour unrest in the early 20th century. As industrialization changed the fabric of society, pushing more people into urban centres and factories, the rights of the worker emerged as an important socio-political issue. In 1909, the Socialist Party of America established National Women's Day, to be held across the United States on the last Sunday in February."
Leo Gerard for The Hill—On International Women's Day, GOP attacks on women: "[The GOP's attack on unions] is an attack on women. In the state and local public sector unions that these governors are trying to enfeeble, members are more likely to be women—teachers, librarians, nurses, and public health workers. On the state level, 52 percent of workers are women; on the local level, it’s 61 percent."
LA Times—Protest movements give new energy to International Women's Day: "International Women's Day is normally an occasion for politicians to issue lukewarm statements about equality, while rights activists struggle to rally support around issues such as citizenship, child-custody law and domestic abuse. But this year, women across the Middle East and North Africa are highlighting their role in the protest movements that have toppled dictators in Tunisia and Egypt and appear on the verge of pushing through major changes in other places."
Times of India—2,000 tribal women jailed on Women's Day in Bhopal: "While chief minister Shivraj Singh Chouhan was presenting awards to two brave women on International Women's Day on Tuesday, around two thousand tribal women were being rounded up by the police as they marched to his house to demand ownership papers to their land in Madhya Pradesh."
AP—Four killed in Ivory Coast after women's march: "At least four people have been killed in the Treichville neighborhood of Abidjan hours after women led a march to commemorate the slaying of seven of their sisters during a demonstration last week."
Sophia Echo—International Women's Day: Too few women at the helm:
The European Parliament marked the centenary of International Women's Day (on March 8) with a debate and vote on two resolutions tabled by the Women's Rights Committee: one on gender equality and the other on female poverty. A third resolution, on reducing health inequalities, was also adopted.BBC—Women in Wales missing top jobs, says equality watchdog: "Employers have been urged to meet the work needs of women as a report shows women in Wales continue to lack power and influence in key business and public roles."
In a special ceremony held on March 8 to commemorate 100 years of campaigning for women's rights, EP President Buzek said: "There are too few women in the European Parliament: 35 per cent is not enough, even though this is slightly more than in national parliaments. It is up to national parliaments to ensure higher representation in the EP. Member States should therefore adopt relevant decisions and a legal framework to boost the presence of women in the EP."
The need to narrow the gender pay gap, to get more women in decision-making positions and to raise the female employment rate are among key points in the resolution accompanying the 2010 annual report on equality between women and men in the EU, drafted by Mariya Nedelcheva (EPP, BG) and adopted by 366 in favour, 200 against and 32 abstentions. The importance of better child care facilities and child-related leave is also highlighted.
Christian Science Monitor—On International Women's Day, Egyptian women demand revolutionary role: "But though they fought for their nation's freedom, some women now fear they are being sidelined in the process of building the new Egypt. Today, on International Women's Day, they are returning to Tahrir, where the revolution began, for a 'Million Woman March' aimed at reminding the nation that they should have a voice in its future."
USA Today—Airlines fly '100% female-operated' flights for Women's Day: "Air India and Air France are among the airlines flying '100% female-operated' flights today, efforts mean to commemorate International Women's Day."
Btw, worst headline of the day so far goes to the Washington Post for: "Google Maps get girly to celebrate International Women's Day." Wow.
Happy International Women's Day
US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton speaks during the launch of the "100 Women Initiative: Empowering Women and Girls through International Exchanges," at the State Department in Washington, DC, March 7, 2011. [Getty Images]There are as many different ways to talk about International Women's Day, no less its remarkable 100th anniversary, as there are women in the world. And while many of those ways might well be better than this, I want to talk about the initiative launched by a woman who loves, respects, and believes in women, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton:
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Monday launched the "100 Women Initiative: Empowering Women and Girls through International Exchanges" on the eve of the100th anniversary of International Women's Day, which marks the economic, political and social achievements of women.This is a theme on which Clinton has been speaking for the entire public career. It was Hillary Clinton, then First Lady, who said on an international stage that women's rights are human rights, and that ignoring the ideas and talents of more than half the world's population is in no one's best interest. She was certainly not the first woman to make that observation, but she was the first woman with a platform of that magnitude, who used it to speak to the inherent equality and value of women.
One hundred women from 92 countries gathered at the State Department to begin a three-week professional exchange program in the United States.
Secretary Clinton told them that investing in women is the right thing and can help alleviate problems like poverty and hunger. "For me, investing in women and girls is smart. It pays off," she said.
She called the women "pioneers" in business, academics, civil society and government, and she said their actions inspire her and others.I don't know if the brilliance and subversiveness of this initiative can be overstated. Our Secretary of State is using the power of her government office, from which she recognizes the limitations of government offices, to effectively build an international NGO of clever, determined, effective women, which is not just a network of activists and advocates, but a support network filled with women who do work that is frequently so unique and dangerous that isolation and lack of empathy is the greatest discouragement. It's actually breathtaking in its audacity and hopefulness.
Clinton also recognized the achievements of some of the participants. "Raquel Fernandez from Paraguay connects with women and girls trapped in a life of servitude," she said. "In Sudan, Aisha Humad, where's Aisha? Aisha is empowering women by teaching them to stand up for themselves and to stand up for their own rights."
The women are taking part in the International Visitor Leadership Program, which brings 5,200 current and emerging leaders to the United States to engage with their American peers and to experience life in the United States.
...Clinton called the women "ambassadors" for their countries. She said government relations are not the only way to deal with global challenges. "Ultimately, I think it is people-to-people relationships that make a difference and that can really give you the strength to keep going through very difficult times," said Clinton.
Clinton has long worked to make women's rights a key U.S. foreign policy issue, when she was first lady in the 1990s and now as secretary of state. Monday was the first of a series of events that will be held during the coming year to highlight key foreign policy issues that directly affect women and girls worldwide.I am reminded once again of the senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, Stewart M. Patrick, who couldn't discern Clinton's "grand strategic vision." Let's see if we can connect those dots: Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot...
Hillary Clinton is a genuine exceptional woman, whose career frequently makes her the only woman in the room, a bright blazer among a sea of dark suits. But she never plays the Exceptional Woman; she never trades on being not like other women or tries to distance herself from women. Instead, she has dedicated her career and whatever resources it affords her to support women, to pursue and champion policies that will lift women up.
There are so many pernicious narratives about women that encourage women to embrace the role of Exceptional Woman, the woman who swears she's not like other women, so much tokenism that it fosters cautiousness among women who don't want to lose their spot among men, so many incentives for women to feel competitive with other women and so many disincentives against our being allies.
But Clinton has rejected all of that shit and instead become the kind of exceptional women who takes a long look around a room in which she's the only woman, and does not feel satisfied or insecure, but contemptuous that there aren't more women there. She is a woman who wants a world full of women just like her, better than her—women who will exceed her accomplishments and blaze new trails and break new barriers.
She is a woman to be admired, because she admires other women. She's exactly the kind of woman-respecting and woman-loving feminist I want to be.
Because when I look across the landscape of the world, and I take stock of all the issues disproportionately affecting women, from sexual violence as a weapon of war in DR Congo to the GOP's assault on reproductive rights in the US, what I see is lack of respect and love for women. That's what the world needs more of.
And I hope that Clinton's initiative makes her respect and love for women contagious. I hope it infects the whole wide world.
Happy International Women's Day.
-----------------------
Note: Via Shaker Mod Aphra_Behn, Clinton is also on the first cover by the first female editor of Newsweek. Newsweek also features "a package of women's stories and takes a look at the 150 women who shake the world. All the women on the list are amazing. You should read about each one."
The Overton Window: Chapter Forty-Two
Did you enjoy the excitement last chapter? I hope so, because we're back to nothing happening. I mean, there's movement, but little else. A scant two pages of Molly driving and Noah sulking. Ah, those dopey lovebirds! Meet cute!
Noah is out of methadone and suffering from "a general sickening malaise" (Elaine: "Oh, come on, we all have intense malaise. Right?") and upset he's not going to get "a good night's recovery in a five-star bed." What's that, like a Sleep Number bed? (Glenn Beck is an 82, straight scoop!) Molly, apparently, is type who will drive angry, and this makes Noah unhappy.
Molly was driving, since he clearly wasn't fit to sit behind the wheel, and to put it delicately, she drove with a purpose. If he'd been feeling good and in the right sort of daredevil mood her driving might have been easier to take in stride. As it was, though, between his worsening physical condition and being jostled around the front seat by all the surging and braking and swerving through traffic, he wasn't having any fun at all.If only. If only someone would stop them. If only someone has stopped Beck from writing this.
Plus, she wasn't talking. Since they'd started out in the car all he was getting were one-word answers, along with clear unspoken signals that there was nothing so important that it needed to be discussed at the moment.
"We're going to get stopped," Noah said.
Yes, this is an excellent relationship. Molly is attracted to Noah? Is that why she is essentially ignoring him now that she's convinced him to sneak her onto a plane then rented her a car? And he is into her why exactly? Oy.
She didn't answer, and she didn't slow down.Maybe that's sexual tension? Maybe it's just tension. I dunno. They're driving, that much is certain. So, again, movement! The story advances down "a thin single line on the GPS screen." Heh. Frustrated, Noah picks up a scrap of Molly's paper, and finds these two messages:
"Where are we going, Molly?"
"To help a friend," she said curtly. "Now would you please just let me drive?"
"Fine."
"Thank you."
molly -
spread the word --- stay away from las vegas monday
FBI sting op --> * exigent *
be safe
xoxo
db
* FYI ONLY DO NOT FORWARD DELETE AFTER READING *
Big mtg today, Monday PM, southern
Nevada. If you don't hear from me by
Wednesday I'm probably dead*, and this is
where to hunt for the body:
Lat 37°39'54.35"N Long 116°56'31.48"W
> S T A Y A W A Y from Nevada TFN < db * I wish I was kidding
Whoops!
"I can't believe it," Noah said. "You people got me again."So, yeah, Molly and Noah are heading to find and help Bailey. How exactly they are going to do that is beyond me. Molly's plan seems to be to drive right into the middle of an FBI sting operation and .... what? I don't know. She doesn't have any weapons. Or money. And is probably on some sort of watch list. If it's an FBI sting she's just going to get arrested, right? And if it's the kind of thing where Bailey is "probably dead" she'll just get herself killed too. Unless she's really a Jedi and is going to throw some Force Lightning at Elmer/el-Amir or whatever. Not that she even knows about Elmer, or even Kearns for that matter.
Again, another chapter where nothing really happens, and what does makes no sense.
Well, What Would YOU Name It?
I'm not watching Celebrity Apprentice, because Donald Trump. But I just read that Gary Busey, one of the alleged celebrities on the show this season, when the gender-divided teams were trying to come up with their respective names, suggested for the men's team "Baloney and Dirt."
Baloney and Dirt.
If that's not the greatest Garbage TV-related news I've ever heard, it's at least the best Garbage TV-related news since I read that Jersey Shore is called Macaroni Rascals in Japan.
[Commenting Guidelines: This thread is not an invitation to comment on or armchair diagnose Gary Busey's mental health.]
Question of the Day
What's the best film older than 10 years that you've seen for the first time recently?
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround is brought to you by Your Thing. Your Thing--this is it!
Jill: Allowing death row inmates to donate organs.
Donna Cooper: Infographic: Tax Breaks vs. Budget Cuts
Andrea (AJ) Plaid: My Black Genitals Are Not Public Enemy #1
penny for Scientopia: Smithsonian’s Women in Science uploads, pt. 2
Mo: Artificial nerve grafts made from spider silk
samedifference1 at Disability Voices: New Broken Of Britain Campaign: Left Out In The Cold
Bridget Crawford: [TW sexual assault; violence against women] When Will Equality Be “Sexy”?
Bitch Magazine: Douchebag Decree: "Gentlemen" Hijack Women's History Month
gunthera1 at The Border House: Trenched – for men, manly men! (no girls allowed)
BurdaStyle blog: BurdaStyle Goes to Austin!
Finally, a couple of design challenges, if you like that sort of thing:
AmyT: ANNOUNCING: The 2011 DiabetesMine™ Design Challenge – Open for Entries Now! The competition is open for entries until Friday, April 29, 2011.
PLoS Blog: Call for Designs: The PLoS Computational Biology 2011 T-shirt. Submit your designs by March 22.
Leave your links in comments!
Out My Window
A robin redbreast perched outside my window next to icicles lit by the sun, his downy winter feathers blowing in the wind.
Krugman
The New York Times pays two columnists to regularly write for its Monday edition. One of them frequently makes a lot of sense. [Spoiler alert: It's not Russ Douthat.]
Paul Krugman:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that education is the key to economic success. Everyone knows that the jobs of the future will require ever higher levels of skill... But what everyone knows is wrong.
The belief that education is becoming ever more important rests on the plausible-sounding notion that advances in technology increase job opportunities for those who work with information — loosely speaking, that computers help those who work with their minds, while hurting those who work with their hands. Some years ago, however, the economists David Autor, Frank Levy and Richard Murnane argued that this was the wrong way to think about it.
The notion that putting more kids through college can restore the middle-class society we used to have is wishful thinking. It’s no longer true that having a college degree guarantees that you’ll get a good job, and it’s becoming less true with each passing decade.
I spend my days (and frequently, nights) educating people, mostly "non-traditional" students. I love teaching so much it hurts. Yes, I can (and do) work with people to help them learn, not just how to make widgets, but also to look at the world from new, critical perspectives. As far as I can tell, my students tend to really appreciate this.
What my students don't seem to appreciate is sitting it my office, watching salvage companies deconstruct the factory where they used to work. This is not something I, or any other educator can change. Education is vital on any number of levels, but as Krugman points out, awarding more college degrees is but a part of the work that needs to be done.
Blog Note
I've got some personal business to attend to today, which will take up a good part of the day, so posting will be light from me.
Please remember that when I'm not around, we're down one moderator, so take extra care in commenting, and be patient with and respectful of the other mods who will be picking up my slack.
Open Thread
Hosted by Sarah Jane Smith.
This week's open threads have been hosted by the women of classic Doctor Who.
Saturday YouTubery
I found this earlier this week and have watched it at least twice a day since.
