Digby has the energy to take to task future conservative Jon Stewart for engaging in more of his increasingly tiresome equivalency bullshit.
All I have the energy for is linking to Digby.
Because I've already tread this path.
Both Sides Blah Blah Fart
Daily Dose of Cute
Before & After Edition.
So, the thing about greyhounds is that they sleep like 18 hours a day in some absurd position, and spend most of the other six hours lying around staring at you, trying to Jedi your ass into giving them a treat. And the thing about the specific greyhound that is Dudley Q. McEwan is that he is quiet and calm and chillax, even by greyhound standards.
We had him for months before we ever heard him bark at all, and even now, he almost never barks. He looks out the front window when someone pulls in the driveway, and runs to the door when someone rings the bell, but no barking. He virtually never even barks when he's playing, even outdoors with other dogs.
I'm not complaining. It's just important to convey how much he doesn't bark in order that one might appreciate this video of him BARKING!!!!!eleventy!! while we're getting ready to go to the dog park because we are NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH!!!1! and he wants to go NOW!!!!!11!!!1!
I don't know how he bloody knows; he never does this if we're getting ready to go to the grocery store. We've tried to figure out what the "tell" is and change up our getting ready ritual. We've tried speaking in code. Nope. He knows. We can't fool him.
And as soon as he gets to the car, he calms right down until we're about 30 seconds from the park, at which point he whines with the urgency of a creature who is convinced that it is exclusively his whining that fuels the vehicle those last 400 yards.
Meanwhile…
After he's had a run about the park, he sleeps like the dead for two solid days. This weekend, we were at the park for about an hour until some other dogs arrived for him to play with. And not that he doesn't have fun running around with us, but it's not the same as socializing with other dogs. So we spent another hour or so while he played with his good pals Uma the German Shepherd and Sophie and Ellie the Newfoundlands, all of whom are really sweet dogs.
And this was the scene across which I stumbled in the living room about a half hour after we got home from the dog park:
[Iain lies on the floor with Dudley, who's all curled up and looking very sleepy.]
[Iain lies on the floor with Dudley, holding his paw in his hand.]
Ridiculous. That's some professional grade cuteness, right there.
No barking. Just snoring.
Priorities
The GOP has them. They are terrible.
Unless you're a robber baron. In which case the GOP's priorities are you. Which is not so much "terrible" as "awesome." For you. And the other robber barons. And nobody else.
Open Thread: Revolution in Libya
An anti-Gaddafi protestor demonstrating in Whitehall in central London February 22, 2011. [Reuters Pictures]Recommended Reading:
Al Jazeera's live blog from Libya.
The Guardian's live blog from Libya.
New York Times: Chaos Grows in Libya as Defiant Qaddafi Vows to Fight.
Washington Post: Gaddafi refuses to leave power, vows to die a 'martyr' in Libya.
BBC: Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi appears on state TV.
[TW] Sky News: Cleric orders Gaddafi killed.
Whoooooooooops
Sarah Palin, sockpuppet.
I'm sure there's a perfectly unreasonable explanation for this, which we'll undoubtedly be hearing shortly.
And Now It's Indiana's Turn...
As in Wisconsin, Indiana State Democrats are leaving the state in order to "filibuster" anti-union legislation:
House Democrats are leaving the state rather than vote on anti-union legislation, The Indianapolis Star has learned.Yet the Indianapolis Star nonetheless headlined this article "Democrats trigger Statehouse showdown."
A source said Democrats are headed to Illinois, though it was possible some also might go to Kentucky. They need to go to a state with a Democratic governor to avoid being taken into police custody and returned to Indiana.
The House came into session this morning, with only two of the 40 Democrats present. Those two were needed to make a motion, and a seconding motion, for any procedural steps Democrats would want to take to ensure Republicans don’t do anything official without quorum.
With only 58 legislators present, there was no quorum present to do business. The House needs 67 of its members to be present.
Rep. Terri Austin, D-Anderson, told House Speaker Brian Bosma, R-Indianapolis, that Democrats "continue to be in caucus" to discuss potential amendments to several bills.
Bosma said he was "flummoxed," adjoured until noon, and labor union members watching in the gallery and hallway outside cheered the work stoppage.
Today's fight was triggered by Republicans pushing a bill that would bar unions and companies from negotiating a contract that requires non-union members to kick-in fees for representation. It's become the latest in what is becoming a national fight over Republican attempts to eliminate or limit collective bargaining.
Things look funny from the depths of Mitch Daniel's front pocket, I guess.
UPDATE: The Indiana Democratic Party chair has confirmed on the record that the Dems have flown the coop and won't come back as long as the union-busting legislation is on the table.
Who Is Making These TERRIBLE DECISIONS?!
[Trigger warning for the casual use of "bitch" in an appropriative fashion.]
@JamesFranco: "they pulled this from the oscar show. damn it."
[Audio Description: James Franco practicing Cher's "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from Burlesque, singing it BADLY, and laughing about singing it BADLY. In the middle, his singing coach or accompanist (?) tells him a story about being bitchy and bitches and bitchines, or something.]
What is wrong with the world? How could this number be axed? IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.
Back in January, one of the Worst Things was a garbage nightmare article written by one Kay S. Hymowitz, whose bio, I noted, advertised that she is "the author of the forthcoming Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys."
Well, that tome is scheduled to drop into your local Borders on March 1, so the Wall Street Journal, always eager to help advance the careers of the hopelessly unimaginative peddling the latest retread of ancient kyriarchal narratives as an edgy new idea, has provided space to Ms. Hymowitz to share her totally trenchant theories with us.
Where Have the Good Men Gone? asks the headline. Hahaha! I love witty and original things! Can I get an amen, ladies?!
But Ms. Hymowitz does not write her own headlines, and it's really the meat of the article that makes it great. I'm hard-pressed to pick a favorite part, what with all the gender essentialism (YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE GENDER ESSENTIALISM!) and awesome pop culture references (Sex and the City AND Judd Apatow?! NOW YOU'RE JUST SPOILING ME, KAY HYMOWITZ!), but I am inordinately fond of this line:
Today's pre-adults are a different matter. They are a major demographic event.Don't even TRY to question the rationale for her Important Work, people. Pre-adults are a MAJOR DEMOGRAPHIC EVENT. I know, because she tells me right in her article. No doy.
[H/T to Shaker Matt Killmon.]
Open Thread: WTF Wisconsin
Here's the round-up:
Eugene Robinson in the Washington Post—Starving Wisconsin's Unions: "At this point, it's clear for all to see that Gov. Scott Walker's true aim is to bust the public employee unions, thus permanently reshaping the political landscape in the Republican Party's favor. Democratic state senators who fled the state to forestall Walker's coup have no choice but to remain on the lam. Protesters who support union rights have no choice but to keep their vigil at the capitol in Madison. This is a big deal."
Paul Krugman in the New York Times—Wisconsin Power Play: "[W]hat's happening in Wisconsin isn't about the state budget, despite Mr. Walker's pretense that he's just trying to be fiscally responsible. It is, instead, about power. What Mr. Walker and his backers are trying to do is to make Wisconsin—and eventually, America—less of a functioning democracy and more of a third-world-style oligarchy. And that's why anyone who believes that we need some counterweight to the political power of big money should be on the demonstrators' side."
David Dayen—The Senator from Bay View: Chris Larson Fights for Worker Rights in Wisconsin:
Wisconsin State Senator Chris Larson (D-Milwaukee) is one of 14 Democrats hiding out in Illinois, participating in a "filibuster with our feet" to slow down the budget repair bill, which would strip collective bargaining rights from public employees, among other things. By walking out of the state, Senate Democrats have denied Republicans the 3/5 quorum needed for passing legislation with a fiscal intent. Larson and his 13 colleagues and their whereabouts have become a major part of this unfolding story, but he'd rather the focus go to the legislation on offer and the constituents out in the streets in Madison and elsewhere.New York Times—Wisconsin G.O.P. Plans to Work Without Democrats: "With the Capitol braced for another week of protests and deadlock over a budget bill that would severely restrict public employees' unions here, the top Republican in the State Senate announced that the body would resume consideration of other matters. ... The issues scheduled for consideration in the Senate on Tuesday were routine: an appointment by the governor, tax breaks for dairy farmers and a resolution commending the Green Bay Packers for their Super Bowl victory. But [Senate majority leader Scott Fitzgerald] said more significant legislation could also be in play, including a bill requiring voter identification that Democrats strongly oppose."
"Ever since we stepped away, there's been a lot of attention on us," said Larson in an interview last night from his undisclosed location in Illinois. "We're trying to focus it back on this ridiculous legislation."
Raw Story—Troopers would 'absolutely' use force on Wisc. protesters if ordered, police union president tells Raw: But: 'That would not be something I recognize as the United States of America,' state patrol inspector adds.
"I have worked with the University of Wisconsin police officers that are there, along with the capitol police officers, and certainly I've worked with the state patrol officers because I'm a state patrol inspector. I'm not able to even fathom that any of those police officers would not carry out whatever orders were given to do their job.New York Times—Billionaire Brothers' Money Plays Role in Wisconsin Dispute: "Among the thousands of demonstrators who jammed the Wisconsin State Capitol grounds this weekend was a well-financed advocate from Washington who was there to voice praise for cutting state spending by slashing union benefits and bargaining rights. ... What [Tim Phillips, the president of Americans for Prosperity] did not mention was that his Virginia-based nonprofit group, whose budget surged to $40 million in 2010 from $7 million three years ago, was created and financed in part by the secretive billionaire brothers Charles G. and David H. Koch. State records also show that Koch Industries, their energy and consumer products conglomerate based in Wichita, Kan., was one of the biggest contributors to the election campaign of Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin, a Republican who has championed the proposed cuts."
"I guess that's the one ironic thing about this," he continued. "Last night my wife asked me to make a sign for her to take down there to protest. On that day, I thought to myself I could be making a protest sign for my wife to take down there ... Then I could be down there confronting my wife with the protest sign that I made. God, you see ... That's ... That's my job.
He said that the conversation of resisting an order to attack the protesters "hasn't even come up" between he and fellow officers.
However, Fuller insisted, "I can't even imagine that the governor or anybody else would think that's a viable option. The protesters are not being violent. It's their right to come and protest; it's public property. The politicians are being allowed to come and go... I don't know why there would be the need for clearing anything.
"It would not look like the United States, if we did that."
Discuss.
Question of the Day
What are you reading?
I just started No Applause, Just Throw Money: The Book that Made Vaudeville Famous. It's fantastic.
Quote of the Day
[Trigger warning for gun violence]
"It is the job of the leadership of Libya to listen to its people. And to be quite honest, listening to people doesn't involve using a machine gun." -Finnish Foreign Minister Alexander Stubb, condemning the Libyan government's massacre of anti-government protesters.
Daily Dose of Cute
Dougie: "Okay--who's for snuggles?!" Image description: a tri-colored Cavalier King Charles spaniel in a brown leather easy chair, gazing longingly into the distance.
Open Thread: World Protests
There is so much information coming in about the protests in Libya, Morocco, Tunisia, Yemen, Algeria, and elsewhere that I think an open thread will help us to share and keep track. Leave your links and thoughts in comments.
The Guardian: Libya in crisis - live updates
Al Jazeera English: Libya protests spread and intensify
The Guardian: Morocco riots leave five dead
The New York Times: Qaddafi’s Son Warns of Civil War as Libyan Protests Widen
CNN: CNN's coverage of unrest in Middle East and North Africa
The Guardian: Anger on the streets: unrest in Iran, Algeria, Yemen, Morocco and China
Elombah.com/News: Cameroon President, Paul Biya Must Go!
Cameroon nationals are scheduled to demonstrate against Paul Biya on Wednesday, February 23, 2011.
Something To Waste Your Money On
If you're like me you like your bourbon, and you like it on the rocks. And if you're like me, you're probably a bit of a Star Wars nerd. Finally, drinking and Star Wars nerddom come together.
Ice cube trays in the form of R2-D2 (who cares) and Han Solo Frozen In Fuckin' Carbonite (frozen in fuckin carbonite!)! Get your Jim "Laser" Beam on the way it was meant to: With Han Solo just chillin' (HA!) in your glass. Available soon wherever stuff like this is sold.
Also suitable for chocolate, if you're into that kind of thing.
More info here.
[Tip of the ill-fitting Stormtrooper helmet to Red Sonja.]
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround is brought to you by Shaxco, makers of Deeky's Clip-On Book Light and Fan. Deeky's Clip-On Book Light and Fan: in case Glenn Beck farts out another novel.
VIDA: The Count 2010
The truth is, these numbers don’t lie. But that is just the beginning of this story. What, then, are they really telling us? We know women write. We know women read. It’s time to begin asking why the 2010 numbers don’t reflect those facts with any equity. Many have already begun speculating; more articles and groups are pointing out what our findings suggest: the numbers of articles and reviews simply don’t reflect how many women are actually writing.
Author Laila Lalami is writing a series of posts for The Notion, the group blog at The Nation magazine. My links are to excerpts on Lalami's personal blog, but she provides links to the full texts at The Notion: On Morocco’s February 20 Protests: The Status Quo Cannot Go On; On Lara Logan’s Attack
Angus Johnston: Teachers Unions, ACT/SAT, and Student Performance: Is Wisconsin Out-Ranking the Non-Union States?
Shark-Fu: FYI – Prevention prevents, testing saves lives, and education is a good investment…
Historiann: Is research a tool for maintaining the sexist status quo in academic departments?
Andrea Kuszewski: The Neuroscience Of Creativity And Insight—The Good, The Bad, & The Absolutely Ridiculous (H/T Ed Yong)
NatGeo News Watch: Skull in Underwater Cave May Be Earliest Trace of First Americans (H/T Lilian Nattel)
Mustang Bobby: The Province of Florida
Mary at Hoyden About Town: Life at 1: breastfeeding
Toledo Wines and Vines: 6,000 Year Old Wine Press Unearthed: Ancients Into Dry Red Wine. The cave complex where the wine-making equipment was found, Areni-1, was also home to the oldest known leather shoe found in 2008.
Gorgeous Things: Boston/Worcester MA Locals – Pattern Fitting Seminar!
Share your links in comments!
The Overton Window: Chapter Thirty-Six
I've said more than once that a particular chapter was the worst one of this whole fart of a novel. But this time I mean it. The next two, in fact. Thirty-six and –seven are unbearably, insultingly, aggressively stupid. To the point of offence.
Here is Noah's grand plan to sneak Molly out of NYC. They have to get to Vegas (so they can see the nuclear explosion up close?) and driving just won't do! I guess taking a train is out. And Noah, rich, powerful scion of America's Number 1 P.R. Genius does not have access to a private jet, nor the means to charter even a Cessna. (Also, there are no hot air balloons in New York. Look it up.) So, to the airport they must go.
For as much time as Beck spends dropping faction into everything, name-checking chicken-and-waffle shops, bringing authenticity by placing every bit of action in some real location, the airport is not actually named. Maybe Beck just didn't want to mention JFK, a popular Democrat. Ah, but I am getting ahead of myself. Those crazy kids haven't made it to the runway yet.
"Okay, we're all ready."
"What do you mean, we're all ready? You made one call and shut down security at an international airport?"
"I did better than that."
He did better than that! I guess when you're the rich, powerful scion of America's Number 1 P.R. Genius, you can pull all kinds of strings. Especially completely ridiculous and made-up strings! For example:
"Have you ever wondered how celebrities and public figures avoid all the hassle the rest of us have to go through when they need to suck it up and fly commercial?"
"I've never thought about it."
"They make a call like I just made. All the major airlines have a VIP liaison in the big cities, and there's a service company we've used from the office, KTL, that's going to grease the way even more. They'll meet us at the curb and walk us right to the plane..."
Ummm... Okay. Celebrities get to cut in line at the airport. Because of KTL? I guess. But, Molly points out the flaw in the plan: They're not celebrities! Or are they?? No, they're not. But!
Noah smiled. "I'm now dating Natalie Portman."
She looked at him as though his head had just turned into a pumpkin.
"Wait, what?"
Wait, what? Yeah, it turns out Molly is a dead ringer for Natalie Portman. Close enough, anyway. Besides, "she's done mostly art-house films, so the average Joe probably couldn't pick her out of a lineup." Oh. Okay. Good for Natalie. Even better for Molly. That's some plan, Noah.
Molly came back from the bathroom after ten minutes in there with her kit and a few instructions from Noah. She was in her Vanderbilt sweatshirt, her hair was up in a casual bun at the nape of her neck, and she'd done just enough to her lips and brows and lashes to suggest a layman's conception of a movie star who was wearing no makeup at all. The great advantage of this whole thing was that when celebrities are out in public trying to avoid a mob of fans and paparazzi, the last thing they want to resemble is who they really are.
She "came back from the bathroom after ten minutes in there"? Really, that is terrible writing. And certainly, one can blame that one Beck's ghostwriter, sure. But the good folks at Simon & Schuster certainly have a few editors on staff, no? Where were they with their red pens? I suppose it is easy to image that by this point they too quit caring one way or the other. It's a shame really, what with all their (presumed) love of personal responsibility, it seems such a cop out. They should have stayed the course, but no. I almost can't blame them. Almost.
"Perfect," he said. "Absolutely perfect. Oh, wait." He took her makeup kit and searched through its contents until he'd found a small dark pencil with a dull tip. "Lean your face over here." Molly did, and he carefully and gently went to work. "Natalie has got two little tiny beauty marks, one here ... and one ... over here." He leaned back, squinted, and studied his masterpiece. "That's it."
I guess this means Noah isn't the average Joe. He hardly seems the average Noah, either. But what do I know? I've never cut in line at the airport, so I'm just a layman.
On the short ride to the airport he told her the backstory he'd given to Kyle, the executive service agent from KTL: Noah and young Ms. Portman had spent a wild weekend together painting the town, and things had gotten a little out of hand toward the end. She'd had her purse stolen, she wasn't feeling well at all, and some nasty aggressive photographers had begun to bird-dog them. Now the mission was to spirit her out of the city while keeping her off Page Six of the New York Post.
Yeah. Okay. That's a great plan. By which I mean not at all. It reads like a childish fantasy. What someone without much in the way of critical thinking skills might imagine the world works. Secret rooms and velvet ropes and the rich and famous and powerful slinking through hidden doorways behind every oak bookcase. Of course, "someone without much in the way of critical thinking skills" does describe the average Beck fan.
"Now remember," Noah said, "the whole idea is that you don't have to deal with anybody. You don't have to talk to anyone and you don't have to make eye contact with anyone, which is good because your eyes are the wrong color. I told them you've lost your ID so no one's going to expect you to show it. You're in the big club now, you're a hotshot movie star who's had a few rough days of partying, and you're in no mood for any inconvenience. That's what we're paying all this money to avoid. But just keep thinking all that in your head; our guy and I will do all the talking."
I guess, really, what Beck is saying here is that the rich and famous are kind of assholes who think the rules don't apply to them. Whew! Good thing Beck isn't rich and famous! I'm not sure why he chose to include Natalie Portman in this mess. What did she ever do to him? She's from Israel for Christ's sake! Beck should love her. Maybe he does. Maybe this is his way of guaranteeing her a role in the inevitable big screen adaptation of The Overton Window.
Kyle from KTL, "in his dapper suit" meets them at the curb "and with a practiced sweep of his manicured hand" he whisks them away to the airport's underground.
Most people know there's a whole hidden part of Disney World the tourists never get to see. Underneath the sidewalks and behind the scenes, in a vast complex every bit as big as the park itself, this insider network of tunnels, workshops, machinery, and control rooms is where the magic really happens. Likewise, a major airport has its own sublevel of secrets, and our man Kyle held all the skeleton keys to this particular enchanted kingdom.
Snort. Heh. Yes, excellent writing. Very good. Quality stuff. I want the same ghostwriter on my next novel. (Instead of Natalie Portman, I'm having Joseph Gordon-Levitt guest star in mine.)
Halfway into the terminal Kyle stopped along the wall, looked furtively both ways, and then keyed open a featureless gray door. Like some portal from rural Kansas into the Land of Oz, inside this door was a large VIP room with elegant furnishings and sitting areas, a bar and some bistro tables, and down the center, a privately staffed setup for dignified, one-on-one security screenings.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Seriously? Oh, okay. Awesome. Totally awesome. The VIP screening room. For celebrities. Perfect. With a bar. And elegant furnishings. I wonder if it's as quiet as Darthur's office. And I bet you can even smoke there. Because, you know, celebrities.
As perfect and expensive as Noah's plan is, it does have one flaw: "That's a Star Wars geek if I ever saw one," Noah quips in regard to the VIP X-ray tech.
Beck spends the next couple paragraphs badmouthing Star Wars fans. Pitiable losers, social pariahs, bowl haircuts, blah blah blah, hitting all the usual marks. I don't know what purpose this serves. I guess there's no crossover between Star Wars fans and Beck fans. Referring snidely to Star Wars shows how far out of touch Beck really is. Star Wars has come a long way in terms of respectability. Besides, Reagan loved him some Star Wars, and he's infallible, right?
Now, why someone so objectionable as this "Star Wars geek" would be stationed in the Elegantly Furnished VIP Waiting Room For Celebrities instead of, say, a supermodel or whatever, is beyond me. Well, no, it's not really. This guy is there just to create some tension. And like all moments of tension in this novel, it's pretty clunky and not very tense. Noah and Molly quickly huddle to discuss the prequels. Noah wants to bolt. Yeah, wow, he's just the guy to look after Molly, obviously. She, however, votes to bluff her way through security. That Molly! What a firebrand! (I am pretty sure that's not the proper use of firebrand, but what can I say, Beck has me inspired.)
Noah walks through the metal detector without a problem. The geek eyes him suspiciously nonetheless and considers having a go at him with the wand. Fortunately "Kyle cleared his throat meaningfully from where he was standing." Whew! Good thing he didn't clear his throat from where he wasn't standing. That would have been soooooo awkward.
This subtle, perfectly pitched intervention was sent to remind the room that this trip had already been preapproved from positions much higher than their own, and these two very important people weren't to be unnecessarily troubled by the rigors of the standard inquisition.
Now, some chapters back, way in the beginning of the novel, wasn't Beck lamenting how tough it was getting on an airplane these days? Did he forget all that? Because all it takes, from the looks of things, is a bit of cash. I know, I know, up until now this novel has been pretty consistent, so I guess we'll cut the authors some slack.
Noah puts his belt on and breathes a sigh of relief. Looks like they'll make it on to the plane afterall. Whoops! Maybe not! Molly sets of the metal detector! Oh noes!
End of chapter. Because, duh, that's tension: ending a chapter right when something happens.
Except, you know what? She doesn't have a gun. She doesn't have a knife. She doesn't have fillings. Nope! But she does have a crucifix around her neck. Whoops! So much for being from Israel!
