
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!

On Tuesday, I opened a discussion thread about the things we misunderstood as kids. One of the themes I noticed was about thinking things to be gendered that aren't, or in a way they aren't, e.g. thinking only women had the ability to cook because you never saw any men cooking, or thinking all cats are female and all dogs are male.
Trying to fit things into a sex/gender binary is something humans do from a very early age, so it leads to a lot of misunderstandings about what is innately female or innately male, when kids see only women or only men doing something.
(Aside: Contrary to the insistence of homobigots that single and same-sex parenting damages kids, children raised by single or same-sex parents tend to have less rigid ideas about gender than kids raised by opposite-sex parents. Of course, I suppose if you are a homobigot, less rigid ideas of gender is evidence of damage. Suffice it to say, I disagree!)
I remember lots of surprises when I would see a man doing something I'd only seen my mother do, or vice versa. I also used to think if my parents did the same task different ways, it necessarily meant that all women had one way of doing it and all men had one way of doing it.
One of the silliest examples of this is that my parents folded toilet paper differently (and probably still do; I don't know since they haven't had to wipe my ass in about 35 years, lol). When I saw my paternal grandmother fold toilet paper, she did it just like my dad! I told her, "You fold toilet paper like a man." And I still remember, as clear as day, her saying to me, "No, your daddy folds toilet paper like a woman—like me, because I taught him."
It blew my little mind!
What memories do you have about your misunderstandings about sex/gender?
[Trigger warning for violence and xenophobic othering]
NYT:
"A 37-year-old illegal immigrant was under arrest Friday after three people were found shot to death and three others were wounded at two houses just blocks apart in the northern Virginia city of Manassas, the police said."
"[The suspect,] Mr. Alfaro, 37, from El Salvador, had been ordered deported by a federal judge in 2002, but apparently never left the country, the authorities said."
[Trigger warning for racism, xenophobia.]
"I appreciate people's sympathy and interest in democracy, that's an American instinct. But unfortunately in this case, this is the Middle East. And the traditions there do not support their embracing [democracy]."—Terry Holt, on a Fox News panel of three foreign policy experts discussing the revolution in Egypt.
Holt is a former national spokesman for the 2004 Bush-Cheney presidential campaign.
George at Think Progress notes that it's "the height of irony for a former Bush-Cheney spokesman to ridicule the idea of democracy in the Middle East," given that Bush "centered his foreign policy around 'our efforts to help the Iraqi people build a lasting democracy in the heart of the Middle East'."
One of the things I have observed with great but bitter amusement during the revolution in Egypt is the compulsion of many conservatives to make some variation on the point Holt is making here, central to which is the idea that democracy is inherently incompatible with "the Middle East," which is shorthand for "Islam."
These are, of course, the same people who have spent nearly a decade vociferously defending both the Afghanistan and Iraq wars on the premise that we are "spreading democracy" to the Middle East, which, by any reasonable (there's the catch!) measure, implies a belief in the compatibility of democracy and Islam.
Their current position will be even more hilaritragic when and if flourishing democracy does take hold in Egypt and Tunisia, and they begin to bray about how it was the visionary George W. Bush who saw the opportunity to spread freedom in the Middle East.
Despite their vacillations, they do remain spectacularly consistent in their refusal to give even the most cursory acknowledgment of the autonomy and diversity of peoples in the Middle East.
Matilda and I have another conversation about her rumor-mongering and conspiracy theories.
Tils: Click!
Liss: What? Are you telling me that story again? Didn't we debunk this last week?
Tils: Myah!
Liss: Well, I know you believe it, but it's not true! Do you remember we watched that Anderson Cooper special about it? And you were like, "Yeah, I guess maybe I shouldn't have been watching Fox News."—remember? [Tils looks sheepish.] I know. It's kind of embarrassing.
Tils: Ah!
Liss: Well…
Tils: Ah!
Liss: Well, that's what you get for watching stupid news sources. I've told you about Fox; I've told you about the Drudge Report.
Tils: Myah!
Liss: Yeah, I have.
Tils: Mrrrrwwwaahhh.
Liss: I mean, when are you gonna learn your lesson?
Tils: Mrow.
Liss: I don't know, either.
Tils: Mrrrrwwwaahhh.
Liss: I mean, you're a smart girl, Matilda! You really need to get it together.
Tils: Ahhww.
Liss: I know.
[edit; Tilsy chews on the camera's wrist-strap and pats at it furiously with her fuzzy paws; edit]
Liss: Matilda, the other day Olivia told me that they found an alien skull on the White House lawn. Do you know anything about that? Where is she getting these ideas?
[Tilsy blinks innocently; edit; she's batting at the wrist strap again]
Liss: I mean, look, I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you, and all you can do is, like, play with a string. Is this maybe part of the problem, d'ya think? Do you think that maybe part of your problem is that you're more interested in string than discussing your bad media habits? Matilda, I think this could be part of the problem.
[Tilsy stares at wrist strap; looks cute.]
This is, for those who have requested it, your bi-monthly reminder* to donate to Shakesville.
Asking for donations** is difficult for me, partly because I've got an innate aversion to asking for anything, and partly because these threads are frequently critical and stressful. But it's also one of the most feminist acts I do here.
It's also the only way I am able to manage this community as a safe space, which requires my full-time commitment in addition to our volunteer contributors and moderators.
Over the past couple of weeks, when widely-linked discussion of a particularly sensitive subject, bought in droves of new and frequently disruptive commenters, the fierceness of our vigilance and the value of what it provides was more evident than usual. People commented how very much like magic it is to enjoy threads free of apologia, bigotry, and hateful/triggering material.
But it is not magic. It is hard and unrelenting work.
So. Here is your reminder to support this space if you appreciate what happens here.
You can donate once by clicking the button in the righthand sidebar, or set up a monthly subscription here. We first made the Subscribe to Shakesville page available in March, which means many of the subscriptions are running out and have to be renewed if you want to keep your subscription active.
Let me reiterate, once again, that I don't want anyone to feel obliged to contribute financially, especially if money is tight. Aside from valuing feminist work, the other goal of fundraising is so Iain and I don't have to struggle on behalf of the blog, and I don't want anyone else to struggle themselves in exchange. There is a big enough readership that neither should have to happen.
I also want say thank you, so very much, to each of you who donates or has donated, whether monthly or as a one-off. I am profoundly grateful—and I don't take a single cent for granted. I've not the words to express the depth of my appreciation, besides these: This community couldn't exist without that support, truly. Thank you.
My thanks as well to everyone who contributes to the space in other ways, whether as a regular contributor, a guest contributor, a moderator, a transcriber, or as someone who takes the time to send me the occasional note of support and encouragement. This community couldn't exist without you, either.
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* I know there are people who resent these reminders, but there are also people who appreciate them, so I've now taken to doing them every other month, in the hopes that will make a good compromise.
** Why I ask for donations is explained here.
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, publishers of The Shakesonian Field Guide to Ants in the Pants, edited by PortlyDyke.
Recommended Reading:
Amanda: Victoria Jackson, the Leading Lady of Conservative Comedy, Hits CPAC
Andrea: Voices: Reflecting on Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day 2011
Dreadnought: Motherly Love from Suburbia/Connecticut, Part 2 (It's the Roller Derby Quilt!)
Ed: Low Hanging. And Diminutive.
Hanne: Why I Don't Read Those Links You Send Me
Jacinta: Because Sexual Assault is More Common Than You Think [Trigger warning for rape]
Lisa: Gendered Battle Gear
Matt: What Does Being a Man Mean to You? [Trigger warning for transphobia]
Paul: Why Mubarak is Out [Trigger warning for torture and rape]
Susie: Taking it to the Streets
Leave your links in the comments...
[Trigger warning for rape apologia, threats, harassment.]
The title of this post, were it not in need of its own trigger and an entire page of space, would have been: Rape Apologists React to Anti-Rape Message with Threats of Rape and Death, Thus Proving Yet Again the Point of Anti-Rape Advocacy. Privileged Dudes Who Think Anti-Rape Activism Is Hilarious Deliberately Misrepresent Message to Make Lots of Fun Rape Jokes. About Babies.
It's a familiar story to anyone who's been around here for more than five seconds—I write something critical of the rape culture; aggressive rape apologists threaten me; passive rape apologists willfully misrepresent my point to mock anti-rape advocacy and the broken hysterics who engage in it. Rinse. Repeat.
This happens to all anti-rape advocates.
Josh Jasper, director of the Riverview Center, which serves survivors of sexual and domestic violence in Wisconsin, Iowa, and Illinois, made an anti-rape advert challenging people to consider what values we're communicating to male children. [Note: Jasper does not take the position that only men commit sexual and domestic violence; this one 30-second ad was designed, however, to address the reality that the vast majority of intimate assaults are perpetrated by men, in large part because of their socialization.]
Male Narrator: [over onscreen text of same] He's tough. He's strong. He's aggressive. He's powerful. And he raped his girlfriend. [over black screen] But he wasn't always this way. [over video of white baby in a diaper, looking generally cute] What are you teaching your son? Redefine what it means to be a man, because ending sexual violence begins with him. [onscreen text: Riverview Center. Creating a Community Free of Sexual Violence. www.riverviewcenter.org]A different ad aired during the Superbowl turned "Jasper's regional spot [into] a YouTube sensation." You don't need to guess what happened after that, because you already know.
"One of the 800 comments I've received in the last 24 hours is that I'm a Nazi sympathizer and I should be taken out and shot," Jasper said.Despite that absurd ugliness, despite the jack-booted enforcers of the rape culture doing their totally typical thing, there is also the usual good news. Jasper reports that the center has seen an increase in calls for help from survivors: "There are a lot of survivors out there who weren't abused last night, but 10, 20 years ago, who are now feeling empowered because people are talking about the issue. That's exactly why I created the commercial and that's exactly why the commercial will stay."
The posts are coming from all over the world, and some are so hostile, Jasper said he's called the Dubuque police chief and removed personal information from Facebook.
"I've been accused of hating all men, that all men are rapists, that I think babies are rapists. The message that we're trying to send is that we need to start a conversation about violence against women, children, and men is an epidemic and we need to start talking about this," Jasper said.
Why the anger?
"I think there are a lot of men who have a deep-seated hatred toward women. I bet I've received 150 messages in the last 24 hours that say it's okay to rape women. If we're going to end the violence, we have to start with them."
House GOP Playing Politics With Women's Health:
House Republicans are drafting a continuing resolution that would include the removal of all Title X family planning funds from the federal budget. Title X clinics provide everything from annual exams, to cancer screenings, to contraceptive services, to testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections. The provision would take the program, which as been in place for over 40 years, from $317 million dollars a year to nothing virtually overnight. We expect it to be taken up in the House some time next week.To what end, Republicans? To what fucking end?
The continuing resolution comes on the heels of Rep. Mike Pence's Title X Abortion Provider Prohibition Act (H.R. 217), which would deny Title X funds to organizations that also provide abortions. The bill is a direct attack on legitimate family planning providers, like Planned Parenthood, who play a critical role for millions of women.
Michael Keegan, President of People For the American Way, issued the following statement:
"This is a shameless attempt to stir up a Right Wing 'culture war,' whatever the collateral damage—in this case, critical healthcare for millions of low-income women. If the House GOP is really interested in preventing unintended pregnancies, it should embrace organizations that provide affordable contraception. If it's interested in public health, it should be interested in helping women defend themselves against disease. If these bills become law, millions of American women will lose access to critical family planning and reproductive health services. This move is not fiscally responsible or socially responsible—it's a blatant attempt to play politics with women's health."
UPDATE: Mubarak has resigned! Watch all the cheering and celebration in Tahrir Square live here.
After Mubarak's stunning speech yesterday, in which he was expected to resign but did not, everyone's left wondering: What now? I sure as fuck don't know.
Mark Lynch—Responding to the Worst Speech Ever: "I don't think anyone really knows how things will break in the next 12-36 hours. It seems pretty clear that most people, from the Obama administration to Egyptian government and opposition leaders, expected Mubarak to announce his departure [last night]—and that they had good reasons to believe that. That turned out to be wrong. As I just mentioned on the BBC, I don't think anybody knows what's going on inside Mubarak's head right now, though he certainly seems out of touch with what is really going on. I suspect that his decision may have changed from earlier in the day, and that people inside the Egyptian military and regime are themselves scrambling to figure out their next move."
New York Times—Mubarak Reportedly Leaves Cairo: "Angry protesters, who had swarmed by the thousands into the streets here Friday morning, were hardly mollified by the news of Mr. Mubarak's exit and an accompanying statement by the Supreme Council of the Egyptian Armed Forces over state television and radio indicating that the military, not Mr. Mubarak, was in effective control of the country. They said they would not believe he was gone until he had formally relinquished his title as president, and until his handpicked successor, Vice President Omar Suleiman, had been ousted as well."
Guardian—Egyptian army backs Hosni Mubarak and calls for protesters to go home:
The Egyptian military has thrown its weight behind Hosni Mubarak's decision not to resign as president and to transfer most of his powers to his vice-president.Meanwhile, in the US...
In a statement read out on Friday morning, the military announced it would lift a 30-year-old state of emergency "as soon as current circumstances end", but gave no specific timeframe.
The statement – called "Communique No 2" – also said the military would guarantee changes to the constitution as well as a free and fair election, and it called for normal business activity to resume.
Lifting the state of emergency was a key demand of the demonstrators, but the decision to back Mubarak's process of slow transition is likely to enrage the protesters who have massed in Cairo's Tahrir Square and elsewhere every day for more than two weeks.
The army said it would protect the nation but repeated a call for protesters to go home so life could return to normal; protests and strikes have had a serious effect on the Egyptian economy.

Shaker Thumbs
We haven't had a Shaker Thumbs in almost a year (!), so we're long overdue. Shaker Thumbs is your opportunity to give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down to a product or service you have used and that you'd recommend to other Shakers or warn them away from.
I'm giving a big THUMBS UP to my Sorel Women's Tivoli winter boots in valentine/white. (I actually got mine at Amazon, because I had an unused birthday gift certificate, but I usually get shoes through Shoes.com.)

[Trigger warning for homophobia]
In case you've been blissfully unaware of the latest US political news, today is the first day of the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. In a nutshell, it's sorta like a huge party for 11,000 people, only with political speeches instead of a bouncy house, and hatred instead of fruit punch. If only I lived in DC and was invited.
Also, you may have also heard of GOProud, a group of gay conservatives that's making waves by co-sponsoring CPAC. :yawn:
According to CNN's John Avalon this changes everything. :magician hands:
Avalon's wife is on the board of GOProud (shall I assume she's B, T, and/or Q?), and he wants you to know that:
"America has been going through a gay civil rights movement for more than a decade. One measure of its success is that it has finally reached the Republican Party."
(TW for some violent imagery in the linked story.)
"Stuff is just made up."- A "FOX News insider," when asked what viewers would find most surprising about the FOX News channel.
Viewers, I get. Me? No, not surprised. We've been saying this for years.
[cross-posted from my new blog Madwoman At Play]
Yes.
I do.
I talk to ants.
Most recently, the ants that have decided that the sink where I brush my teeth is fascinating — and possibly, the best source of (food? water? lingering minerals from a rinsed out beer can?) — something.
A few months ago, I had this completely empathetic moment with an ant. We had finally resorted to putting out “Terro” (an ant-destroyer). This isn’t usually our little family’s first choice in such matters, but we rent, and we want to maintain the land-lady’s home in the way that she wants it maintained — so we put it out, with a notice to the ants: You can eat this or not; your choice. It’s not good for you or your colony, but there it is.
About a week later, I saw one lone ant in the afore-mentioned sink. When I turned on a light, though, it did something more cock-roachy than ant-y (in my experience) — it scuttled under the cardboard piece holding the Terro.
I lifted the edge of the cardboard, and yep — there it was.
I felt bad.
Here was this little ant — perhaps the last of its tribe, wandering out into the great big world, and maybe feeling lonely (which I acknowledge may be complete projection on my part).
After my Beloved and I talked about this, and conversed about the misgivings we both had about the wholesale slaughter of beings just because we found them “inconvenient”, we stopped putting out the Terro. The ants returned, but in more reasonable numbers, and we were co-habitating with them once again — noting their synchronous appearance on the back burner of the stove at a time when both of us were putting some important matters on the “back burner” in our lives, and recognizing them as totems for diligence and patience.
For the past week, though, they’ve been exhibiting this sink-fascination. At first, I found it almost comical. I’d stand over the sink with my toothbrush late at night and chuckle, “What?! Why here? What are you eating?”
I wondered if it actually was the rinsing out of beer cans, so I stopped rinsing my beer cans in that sink, I poured Dr. Bronner’s down the trap, etc..
They kept coming.
So, last night, when I went in to brush my teeth before bed, there were TONS of them. They were everywhere. I chose to go ahead and brush my teeth as usual, ran the water that almost certainly whisked more than a few of them to their watery demise, and issued an edict to them and their colony as I did so. Here’s what I said (out loud and in my head):
“Go! Go back to your colony, and tell them that, though this sink may sometimes hold nutritive treasures, it is prone to massive flooding at unpredictable intervals — that there seems to be no rhyme, rhythm, or season to these deluges, and a great, fat goddess sometimes looms above it, spewing foamy substance into the frothing waves of these flash floods. Tell them, oh ants! -- That they venture here at their own risk, and the goddess of the great white basin considers the use of this place as a food-gathering location as undesirable at best.”
So, that was last night. This morning, the ants were less abundant, and I thought maybe they were getting the message.
Then, tonight, after we finished watching Inception in my office, I turned on the lights and found a metric fuck-ton of ants where they had never been before — on my desktop (not the computer desktop, the top of the actual desk). The only thing there for them to eat was a spillage of brewer’s/nutritional yeast — nothing sticky, nothing sweet — and I pronounced to them again that I WOULD NOT TOLERATE ANTS ON THE DESK!!!!!
I swept a number of them away with a damp rag, and sought out their path, to wipe it clean.
But I’m still going to break out Ted Andrew’s Animal Speak and re-read the chapter on Ants.



The Guardian—Mubarak resignation rumours grow:
President Hosni Mubarak's rule appears to be on the brink of collapse after senior politicians said they expect him to relinquish power in the coming hours as strikes and demonstrations spread across the country.More at the BBC, Washington Post, New York Times, and MSNBC.
The prime minister, Ahmed Shafiq, told the BBC that he believed Mubarak would step down and that the situation in the country will be clarified soon.
Hossam Badrawi, the new secretary general of the ruling party, was quoted in the state press as saying that he has requested Mubarak to transfer his powers to his vice-president, Omar Suleiman, and that he expects him to resign this evening. But he later told state television that no decision had been made.
General Hassan al-Roueini, the military commander for the Cairo, told the crowds packed in to Cairo's Tahrir square, the epicentre of the protests to demand Mubarak's resignation, that: "All your demands will be met today". The tens of thousands of people let up a deafening cheer and chants of: "The people and army are one".
Thousands more people poured in to the square at the news.
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