Sigue Sigue Sputnik: "Success"
Overheard
Standing in a check-out line recently behind two young women, I heard one of them saying to the other: "I wish I could find a man who would love me even if I stopped shaving my legs."
The two of them went on to lament the dearth of straight men who would love them for various choices they identified as failures to be sufficiently feminine/lovable. Men don't love women who don't shave their legs. Men don't love women who are fat. Men don't love women who are smart. Men don't love women who are ambitious in their careers. They knew some men who liked smart women, or some men who wouldn't care about hairy legs, but to find a man who loved a woman that was all of these things...!
That man is a unicorn. And, even if he weren't, he would be impossible to find. I wouldn't even know how to find a man like that.
They spoke of the prospect as if they were contemplating the Twelve Labors of Hercules.
One of them reached for a copy of Cosmo, as if the answer might be in there.
"You have to be the person you want someone to love," I blurted out. I couldn't help myself. The Cosmo had rendered my filtering mechanism nonfunctional, like some kind of glossy, perfumed Kryptonite. They looked at me, at my face reddening with shyness. "If you want a partner who loves you with unshaven legs, stop shaving your legs. I think, um, you only find someone to love the person you want to be by being that person, by giving someone the chance to fall in love with you with hairy legs and all."
They blinked at me.
"Like, don't try to be perfect?" one of them asked.
I nodded. "Like, don't try to be perfect." There was a pause, while they contemplated. I wanted to hug them and tell them that everything they hear is wrong, that they should not suppress their individualism in pursuit of some generic brand of perfection, as arbitrary as it is elusive, that love is really only meaningful when it is honest, and that love should free them, not be an exercise in maintaining an artifice that only serves to make them feel small. Instead, I said: "Anyway, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stick my nose into your conversation. My apologies."
"It's okay," said the other. They smiled and turned back around. Cosmo went back on the shelf.
I looked at the cover. Sex tips. How to look good naked. Fashion trends. How to cater to your man's emotional needs. Try to be perfect.
What a cruel lie it is that we should be something we don't want to be, in order that we may receive the love that we need.
Swell
Representative Fox ushered to henhouse:
Representative Ron Paul, Texas Republican and author of "End the Fed," will take control of the House subcommittee that oversees the Federal Reserve.The Federal Reserve could undoubtedly use some reform. Do I think Ron "End the Fed" Paul is the guy to do it? No.
House Financial Services chairman-elect Spencer Bachus, an Alabama Republican, selected Paul, 75, to lead the panel's domestic monetary policy subcommittee when their party takes the House majority next month, the committee chairman said today.
...Paul, who has introduced legislation to abolish the Fed, became nationally known during his 2008 presidential campaign. His campaign to audit the Fed picked up steam as the central bank deployed trillions of dollars in emergency loans in the midst of the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.
No more than I think any member of the party who hates government should be tasked with trying to save it.
Question of the Day
Spudsy and I were just on the phone, reading this thread to each other, laughing so hard that we were gasping for air and wiping tears from our eyes. Why both of us find the word "butt" so irrepressibly giggle-inducing, I cannot tell you. Nor would I want to. Mystery is part of silly's charm.
What word never fails to make you giggle?
Quote of the Day
"You don't want to be [white] because if you're white or you're an American citizen or a white American citizen, you're pretty much toast."—Glenn Beck, Oppressed Person.
Daily Dose o' Cute
Video Description: Dudley has no interest in going for a walk in sub-zero temperatures. He'd rather stay snugly curled up in his chaise upstairs in the loft.
Dudley has twenty minutes to find and bring 100,000 Deutschmarks
to Manni before he robs a supermarket. Run, Dudz, run.
"Less camera more petting, Two-Legs."
Queen Cat of Fuck Mountain.
Sophs in motion.
Senate Fails to Repeal DADT; Provide Healthcare to First Responders
It is absolutely ludicrous that we cannot get DADT repealed in the year two thousand and bloody ten:
The Senate on Thursday dealt a severe blow to the repeal of the "Don't ask, don't tell" law, dimming the chances for the Clinton-era ban to be scrapped this year.Support the troops. Unless they're gay. Or you've got rich people to pander to.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) failed to garner the necessary 60 votes for a procedural motion to start considering the 2011 defense authorization bill, which contains a provision to repeal the ban on openly gay people serving in the military. The final vote was 57-40.
Most Republicans stuck to their pledge to block any bills until a deal is reached on the extension of the Bush-era tax cuts and government spending for 2011 is resolved.
In other Republican hijinks: "Senate Republicans on Thursday morning filibustered legislation to monitor and treat first responders and emergency workers who suffered illnesses related to 9/11." The bill would have provided healthcare funding to treat "first responders, construction and cleanup workers and residents who inhaled toxic particles after the collapse of the World Trade Center towers." Remember 9/11. Unless it's politically expedient not to.
I can't believe anyone votes for these people.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
The Best Thing You'll Read All Day
[Trigger warning for bullying and gender essentialism.]
'The Force' is with you, Katie.
Katie Goldman's universe extends from her home to her first-grade classroom. She is a big sister to Annie Rose and Cleo, a piano player, a Spanish student, a wearer of glasses. She loathes the patch she has to wear for one lazy eye. She loves magic and princesses and "Star Wars," an obsession she picked up from her dad.Oof, the pangs. I was a Katie. (Let's be honest: I am a Katie.) I got my first pair of glasses at age 8. I had my own Darth Vader helmet carrying case for all my Star Wars action figures. I was the only girl who played Ewoks on the playground during recess. I begged my mom to pull my long hair into Princess Leia buns.
The 7-year-old carried a "Star Wars" water bottle to school in Evanston, Illinois, every day, at least until a few weeks ago, when Katie suddenly asked to take an old pink one instead. The request surprised Katie's mom, Carrie Goldman. It didn't make any sense. Why would her little sci-fi fan make such a quick turn?
Goldman kept pressing for an answer. She wasn't expecting Katie's tears. Kids at school insisted that "Star Wars" was only for boys, her daughter wailed.
..."Is this how it starts?" Goldman wrote in her blog, Portrait of an Adoption. "Do kids find someone who does something differently and start to beat it out of her, first with words and sneers? Must my daughter conform to be accepted?"
It wasn't always easy being That Kid. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home with a mother who fixed things and a dad who did laundry; when someone would tell me something I did was "only for boys," my first thought, from a very young age, was, "Obviously not." But that still didn't make it easy. Just easier than it might otherwise have been.
Some people who read about Katie's story decided to make it easier than it might otherwise be for her.
Back in Evanston, Carrie Goldman was feeling good. Since she had written about the water bottle incident, other parents at Katie's school had talked to their kids. School leaders were supportive, and working on an anti-bullying program.Blub.
Something else was happening, too: Traffic on Goldman's blog was exploding.
Some 1,200 people had left messages there for Katie. Readers were coming from Yates' blog, where more than 3,000 more comments stacked up. There were links from "Star Wars" message boards, parenting blogs, tech sites. A Twitter hashtag, #maytheforcebewithkatie, streaked across social media.
Guys and gals of all ages wrote about how they'd been bullied, and how life had gotten so much better since then. They shared that they loved "Star Wars," that they wore glasses, that they were adopted -- just like Luke, just like Leia, just like Katie.
ThinkGeek, a nerdy online retailer, sent Katie a lightsaber. Artist Scott Zirkel sent a cartoon of Katie as a Jedi, glasses and all. A first-grade class in California sent letters to Katie as a show of support.
Taber and the rest of the cast of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," sent "Star Wars" merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to a screening near their home.
The thousands of comments left online will be bound into a book for Katie to read whenever she needs it.
Sometimes it's not so much that the world gets better; it's just that your own world gets bigger, and you find out you're not as alone as you once thought.
[H/T to Shaker Cindy.]
Scenes from a Mall
Yup, the economy is fucked.
House Dems Reject Obama's Tax Package
Defying President Obama, House Democrats voted Thursday not to bring up the tax package that he negotiated with Republicans in its current form.Dayum!
"This message today is very simple: That in the form that it was negotiated, it is not acceptable to the House Democratic caucus. It's as simple as that," said Democratic Congressman Chris Van Hollen.
"We will continue to try and work with the White House and our Republican colleagues to try and make sure we do something right for the economy and right for jobs, and a balanced package as we go forward," he said.
...Rep. Peter DeFazio of Oregon said: "They said take it or leave it. We left it."
The caucus resolution is non-binding, but it's unlikely that Speaker Pelosi will ignore the wishes of her caucus. In fact, The Hill is reporting that Pelosi is promising to secure changes to the bill to make it palatable to her caucus.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) issued a brief statement after the vote indicating that lower-chamber Democrats will fight to alter the bill.Signs of life in Blueville.
"We will continue discussions with the President and our Democratic and Republican colleagues in the days ahead to improve the proposal before it comes to the House floor for a vote," Pelosi said.
"Democratic priorities remain clear: to provide a tax cut for working families, to create jobs and economic growth, to assist millions of our fellow Americans who have lost their jobs through no fault of their own, and to do this in a fiscally sound way."
The Rape Apologist's Lament
[Trigger warning for sexual violence.]
From an email I received after a mod banned (for comments in this thread) yet another Super Special Dude Who Figures the Commenting Policy (Which Explicitly Prohibits Rape Apologia) Doesn't Apply to Him:
I think it's unfortunate that someone who points out the evils inherent in one person forcibly removing power from another person who deserves equal rites [sic] so quickly violates the basic truths they believe everyone should operate under. I believe that the points I made are valid and worth defending, however by disabling my comments, you have taken away my power to defend myself from the attacks of others. It's ironic, almost, that in the context of a [sic] DeVito's character being sexually assaulted by groups of men at a time, you've created a situation in which my comments, the embodiment of my ideas and beliefs, are forcefully made vulnerable to the simultaneous assault of numerous people.I can't decide which part I like better: The implication that his inability to continue to comment here is akin to being gang-raped, or his assertion that rape apologists are an oppressed minority.
Those who's [sic] opinions differ from the most popular one deserve to be heard and deserve to actively defend their positions. As a feminist, I would think that you could have at least avoided perpetrating such an act of hypocrisy.
My correspondent's "valid and worth defending" comment (which remains in the thread for all to admire) ends thus: "People like you are so afraid of a person being offended or hurt that they take all the fun out of life. There are plenty of issues out there that deserve your attention, plenty of evil people who actually do things that hurt others. Get of your high-horse about what is and isn't politically correct or offensive and get upset about something that actually matters. Christ."
This, in response to my saying that I don't find rape jokes funny.
It is my obligation, you see, to stop being so sensitive and STFU so that people who like rape jokes can enjoy them without their amusement being dampened by knowing there exist people on planet who don't share their good humor, or something.
Yeah, I've heard that before. And I am struck, once again, by this thought: Even if complaining that survivors and their allies weren't "tough" enough were a legitimate argument, one would think that the champions of fairness and justice making it (such as my correspondent) would direct their ire in the right direction—at the fucking rapists who create survivors (and their triggers) in the first place.
You want to laugh at rape jokes without having to hear survivors complain about them...? Take it up with RAPISTS.
Oh, but that's the flaw in my position, isn't it? Rape jokes are only funny because rape exists.
Today in Totally Not Worth My Time
[Trigger Warning for Transphobia]
Dilemma
Gender identity enigma
Caster Semenya
Caster Semenya
Is a hermaphrodite
Cheat
Fair playing field
Unfair advantage
Distinct advantages against women in sports
Forced to have gender testing
The concept makes precious little sense
DNA
Height
Strength
5-foot-11
200-pound
Muscle mass
Testosterone
Male muscling
Bone structure
Intrinsic biology
Strength of men
Skeletal structure
Masculine physiognomy
Having both male and female sex chromosomes
Superior
It’s believed
One-time man
She’s 57
57-year-old
57-year-old
A transsexual Masters for aging duffers
Transgendered individuals
Postoperative
Reassignment surgery
Gender-reassignment surgery
Switching anatomy if not human atoms
Some among us recreate their very identity
Entitlement privileges
Conundrum of applying broad civil rights
Privileges that she feels she is now entitled to
Even Dr. Renee Richards
Male-to-female tennis player
Mixed transgendered doubles at Wimbledon
Not created equal
The measure of a man
Remains that of a man
The measure of a woman
Female but transgendered to male
The two can’t be conjoined into one
Born and raised a female
Though never officially confirmed
A female, too, both legally and in her own mind
Core reality has been blurred
--
These are but a few of the words in today's Toronto Star.
Crossposted.
Top Chef Open Thread
[Image from last night's episode: A cheftestant welds two cookies together as part of the Dinosaurs Are Awesome challenge, or whatever it was. Liss: "What is this -- TOP MAD SCIENTIST?!"]
Last night's episode will be precisely batonneted, so if you haven't seen it, and don't want any spoilers, pack your knives and go...
This Is Why Al Gore Invented Text Messaging
[The following conversation took place over the last two days…]
Spudsy: Butt.
Liss: Buttfor.
Spudsy: Butt sandwich:
Liss: Butt cake.
Spudsy: Butt pot pie.
Liss: Butt roast!
Spudsy: Butt l'orange.
Liss: Butt Bourguignon.
Spudsy: Butt casserole.
Liss: Butt stew!
Spudsy: Butt soufflé.
Liss: Butt juice. (Freshly squeezed, natch.)
Spudsy: LOL! Of course! Mashed butt with butt gravy.
Liss: Butt sausage.
Spudsy: Chipped butt on toast.
Liss: Spotted butt.
Spudsy: Butts in blankets.
Liss: Deep-fried butts.
Spudsy: Chili butt with cheese.
Liss: OMG "chili butt" is making me laugh so. hard. P.S. Strawberry Shortbutt.
Spudsy: LOL!!! Butt and chips.
Liss: Barbuttque pork.
Spudsy: Cornbutt on a stick.
Liss: Spaghetti and buttballs.
Spudsy: Chocolate butt cookies.
Liss: Gingerbutt house.
Spudsy: Butt Lorraine.
Liss: Cream of butt.
Spudsy: Butt bisque.
Liss: Buttscuits and gravy.
Spudsy: Butt on a shingle.
Liss: Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed butt.
Spudsy: You win.
Liss: LOL!
This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.
Aston Kutcher + Waxing Philosophical on Romance in the Digital Age + Gender Essentialism + Ashton Kutcher's Apparent Forgetfulness That He Routinely Tweets Pictures of His Wife's Ass = Barf.
