[Trigger warning for sexual assault.]
So, there's this video going around the internets, which captures a woman who's been flashed/frottaged on a subway confronting the man who assaulted her. She gives him a look of utter contempt and yells, "That's it! Oh, you're getting fucking arrested! I'm not leaving your side. My plans are done for the night! I'm escorting you to the police station, okay? Oh yes. Oh fucking yes."
I'm not posting the video here, because the man filming the video says, with a tone that does not particularly suggest empathy, "Oh, this shit's going on YouTube, yo." There is no indication that it was uploaded with the woman's consent.
The video was nonetheless featured on Hollaback and on Jezebel, among other sites. A search was launched to locate the woman, who was being hailed as a hero.
Something that seems to have been lost, however, in the understandable desire to recognize this woman's actions is that she was sexually violated. It is considered, to put it mildly, bad form to publicly identify a survivor of sexual assault without hir consent, and, suffice it to say, trying to track down an anonymous survivor's identity is, um, somewhat problematic.
(Note: There is a difference between saying, for example, "If you're out there, contact me!" and "Twitter, please help me find her!")
I also wonder, if I'm honest, about the wisdom of widely celebrating a woman who makes a spectacle, and if that doesn't tacitly indict the women who don't.
I'm generally not one to suggest caution at the possibility of feeding into false frames—when it comes to political strategy, I almost exclusively advocate against cautiousness for a consideration of false frames—but that's because most progressive capitulation to false framing does harm, e.g. supporting a stupid war so as not to be erroneously cast as "soft on defense." In this case, the greater harm may be done by not acknowledging the demonstrable damage done by the rape culture narratives associated with s/he didn't scream and s/he didn't fight back.
Which is a long way of saying: I've seen the video, but it's not going to be posted here.
(Echidne, who does post the video with mixed emotions, also wisely expresses concern that the "bystanders seem to be busy taking videos and pictures but not actually helping her.")
Hollerin' Back
Hate Is A Family Value
The Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks such things, has designated the Family Research Council as a "hate group."
The SPLC gave the Family Research Council the designation due to anti-gay speech from its leaders, which the SPLC says includes calls for gay men and lesbians to be imprisoned.Cue up the accusations of "anti-Christian bigotry" and "promoting the Radical Homosexual Agenda" from the FRC in 5...4...3...2...1...Ignition...We have liftoff.
Labeling the Family Research Council a hate group puts one of Washington's most powerful social issues advocates into the company of groups like the Nation of Islam and the now mostly defunct Aryan Nations in the eyes of the SPLC, which tracks 932 active hate groups in the U.S.
Groups are labeled hate groups by the SPLC -- which made a name for itself by using civil lawsuits to severely weaken the KKK and other white supremacist groups -- when they "have beliefs or practices that attack or malign an entire class of people, typically for their immutable characteristics," according to the group's website.
For the Family Research Council, which hosts the annual Values Voter Summit in Washington -- an event which this year drew presidential hopefuls like Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee -- the designation comes thanks to the group's standing at the forefront of opposition to gay marriage and open gay and lesbian service in the military.
The main offender in the eyes of the SPLC is Peter Sprigg, the FRC's senior researcher and vocal opponent of the gay rights movement. In May, Sprigg told me that an end to Don't Ask, Don't Tell would lead to more American servicemen receiving unwelcome same-sex fellatio in their sleep, part of a long line of reasoning from Sprigg suggesting that gay men are more likely to be sex offenders than anyone else.
The SPLC pointed to several other Sprigg comments when deciding to list the FRC as a hate group.
For instance, this:[I]n March 2008, Sprigg, responding to a question about uniting gay partners during the immigration process, said: "I would much prefer to export homosexuals from the United States than to import them." He later apologized, but then went on, last February, to tell MSNBC host Chris Matthews, "I think there would be a place for criminal sanctions on homosexual behavior." "So we should outlaw gay behavior?" Matthews asked. "Yes," Sprigg replied.[...]
The SPLC designation of the Family Research Council as an anti-gay hate group potentially poses more of a challenge for Republicans. Though many conservatives view the SPLC as a progressive group and therefore no more worthy of respect than, say, ACORN, the SPLC hate group label will almost undoubtedly make it into press reports about future events like the Values Voter Summit. That means Republican presidential hopefuls who may want to reach out to gay and lesbian Republican groups like the Log Cabin Republicans and GOProud -- which can be good sources of fundraising as well as "I'm not anti-gay" cred on the campaign trail -- may have to explain why they publicly praised and rushed to address a group that SPLC is calling one of the worst perpetrators of ugly myths about gays.
Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, makers of the Deeky Brand Tandem Snuggie. Now in Xanadouche pink!
Recommended Reading:
Resistance: Tam Phan
Andy: Senate to Hold DADT Hearings on Pentagon Report Next Week
Fannie: Coach Whips Boys Into Shape [TW for abuse, hazing, misogyny, gender policing]
Richard: Chandra Levy Murder Case Finally Closed After Nine Years
scatx: Siblings Rarely Share Personalities
Monique: Overcoming the Noble Savage & the Sexy Squaw: Native Steampunk
Irin: The Disturbing World Of Dickflash.com [TW for sexual assault, rape apologia]
Leave your links in comments...
Two Facts
[Trigger warning for sexual assault.]
1. Ruth Marcus' brain was long ago replaced by a state-of-the-art judgment machine.
2. I never get tired of hearing what a whiny-ass binky baby I am because I may be triggered by the invasive, unwanted touching of my breasts and genitals.
It's interesting, ahem, that someone like me is cast as immature, as childish, as needing to "grow up," by virtue of my aversion to enhanced screening, because, the truth is, my childhood came to a screeching halt when I was raped at 16 and left to deal with the aftermath of the trauma on my own by the police, my school, and just about everyone who was supposed to care about me.
And it strikes me as naive to the point of childishness to not know or understand or accept or acknowledge that ugliness exists in the world, and that it changes people in ways they would never want to be changed.
Who's the real grown-up in this scenario? The woman who has empathy for survivors, for veterans with anxiety disorders, for adults with disabilities, for parents of children with disabilities, for people with genetic predispositions for cancer or are in remission from the disease, for children who aren't old enough to understand what's happening, for everyone who has reason to fear the potential consequences of being subjected to back-scatter scans and/or enhanced pat-downs, or the woman who haughtily sniffs "grow up" at all of those people...?
Naturally, we are both grown-ups. But this isn't about being immature, not really. It's about being weak.
There's this persistent idea that identifying as someone who is vulnerable to trauma- and/or disability-born triggers is evidence of weakness (and/or immaturity, or frailty), but I cannot begin to explain how much easier it would be to not publicly identify this way. I don't like reading that I "identify as a victim" and that I'm "too fragile for the world" and I'm "always aggrieved" and all the other shit that gets written about me, personally—and frequently at other feminist blogs, much to my chagrin—on a regular basis. I don't like getting emails accusing me of being weak and pathetic and a baby and a broken person. I don't like trolls who say the same in comments.
It would be infinitely easier if I were not forthcoming about who I actually am and what I've actually experienced and what that actually means in terms of living in a culture that is hostile to people who are demonstrably vulnerable in any kind of way.
But easy would be dishonest. I don't have the luxury of easy.
Not anymore.
Easy is a relic of the childhood I left behind long ago, in a pool of blood on my bedroom floor.
I'm a grown-up, Ms. Marcus. I can barely remember a time when I wasn't.
And I'm not alone.
Really?
[Trigger warning for invasion of privacy, dismissal of sexual assault]
As seen on CNN.com a few minutes ago:
[A screen capture from CNN.com. In the middle there's a picture of an airport security checkpoint, under which, I shit you not, is the headline "It's not all grab-and-scan at airports." Then CNN reports for the benefit of the TSA: "Despite all the hoopla over security measures at airports, the Transportation Security Administration estimates that less than 3 percent of air travelers will receive enhanced pat-downs." Again, I shit you not.]
Four quick points, not even touching the actual story:
1) CNN, you still bite.
2) Yay for corporations doing the bidding of the police state, or vice-versa.
3) "Grab-and-scan"?!?! I guess "It's not all sexual assault at the airport" wasn't as edgy.
4) "Less than 3 percent" of travelers are being sexually assaulted via "enhanced pat-down" on any given trip to the airport? That's not reassuring, that's horrifying, particularly given the extremely high percentage of travelers that have to show naked pictures of themselves when they fly.
Discuss.
Your Morning TSA Security Round-Up
[Trigger warning for fat hatred and general harm.]
The Hill—Next step for body scanners could be trains, boats, metro:
The next step in tightened security could be on U.S. public transportation, trains and boats.Is she having a laugh?
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano says terrorists will continue to look for U.S. vulnerabilities, making tighter security standards necessary.
"[Terrorists] are going to continue to probe the system and try to find a way through," Napolitano said in an interview that aired Monday night on "Charlie Rose."
"I think the tighter we get on aviation, we have to also be thinking now about going on to mass transit or to trains or maritime. So, what do we need to be doing to strengthen our protections there?"
AP—TSA: Some gov't officials to skip airport security: "Cabinet secretaries, top congressional leaders and an exclusive group of senior U.S. officials are exempt from toughened new airport screening procedures when they fly commercially with government-approved federal security details. ... The TSA would not explain why it makes these exceptions. But many of the exempted government officials have gone through several levels of security clearances, including FBI background checks." TSA has also now exempted flight attendants, in addition to pilots.
Disability Scoop—TSA: Pat-Downs A Must For Some With Disabilities:
In an open letter (pdf) to members of the disability community, a top Transportation Security Administration official says that some people with disabilities will be required to undergo "alternate screening techniques including pat-downs."Daily Fail—'We hate obese passengers and people with personal hygiene issues': TSA staff vent their anger at patdown searches: This whole story is a clusterfuck. TSA staff interviewed are being verbally abused by passengers, which is terrible, but they are also talking about how disgusting it is to be forced to touch fat people, how being accused of molestation is worse than actually being molested, and how being a man made to touch another man's genitals is horrible (not because it's intrinsically wrong, but because of how totes gay it is). I sincerely doubt/hope that these 17 agents are representative of their entire vocation, but just knowing that there are agents thinking this stuff is yet another disincentive to travel.
... TSA officials say some people with disabilities are ineligible for the body scanners and therefore must automatically undergo secondary screening measures. This includes individuals who use wheelchairs or other mobility devices and cannot stand, travelers with service animals, people who rely on a cane or walker and those unable to lift their arms to shoulder level for several seconds.
Similarly, travelers who are accompanying or assisting a person who cannot pass through the machines will also be subject to alternative screening measures, wrote Kimberly Walton, the TSA’s special counselor in the letter.
"There is nothing punitive about our measures; it just makes good security sense," Walton wrote.
Meanwhile, in efficacy news...
Ars Technica—Adam Savage: TSA saw my junk, missed 12" razor blades.
And this is reassuring...
CNN—Law enforcement officer left loaded gun magazine on plane: "A federal law enforcement officer mistakenly left a loaded gun magazine that was found Tuesday on a Southwest Airlines plane, officials said. ... The head of the Transportation Security Administration said the unnamed law officer will be given remedial training."
Seen
Last night while exiting the gorcery store I saw an SUV with this vinyl decal on the window:
[Image of sticker reading: "stop GARDISIL the HPV Vaccine".]
Huh? Is there something controversial about Gardisil? I checked Wikipedia (facts, bitchez!) and there was something about Rick Perry and Merck and promiscuity, but... Whut?
On Bathrooms and Projection
[Trigger warning for transphobia, body policing, gender policing, sexual violence.]
The great Molly Ivins once said (and I'm paraphrasing here, because I can't find the exact quote) that if you ever want to know what conservatives are doing, just listen to what they're accusing progressives of doing.
That was a keen insight about projection.
Whether it's accusing gays and feminists of undermining the sanctity of marriage, accusing gays of recruiting kids or shoving their sexuality in people's faces or aggressive sexuality, accusing feminists of being man-haters or unable to see past gender, accusing marginalized people of wanting special rights, accusing women-centric spaces of being dangerous for men, accusing progressives of trying to impose their views on everyone or rooting for foreign policy failures or hating America, or warbling about the War on Christmas, the liberal media, voter fraud, or any one of a thousand other grievances, time and time again, it's just conservatives assuming (wrongly) that progressive ideology makes people the ethically-challenged authoritarians that they are.
A thief always suspects someone is stealing from hir, after all.
One of the memes deeply associated with conservative (and fauxgressive) projection is the OH NOES BATHROOM PANIC! meme. You've heard this one before: Trans men and women must be marginalized from society, especially society's bathrooms, because of how they want to INVADE PUBLIC BATHROOMS AND RAPE PEOPLE. Or something. There are a bunch of variations on the same theme; just look for "man in a dress" and "what about the children?!" and some vague implication that trans women (in particular) just go through a lifetime of experiences ranging from Challenging to Sheer Hell for the explicit purpose of getting access to cis women in ladies' rooms, behind doors that magically don't let in cis men determined to do women harm. Or something.
Basically, all you need to know about this general argument is that it's stupid and cruel and has no rational basis. And that Phyllis Schlafly was using it to tank the ERA before my ancient ass was ever born. OH NOES BATHROOM PANIC! is so old it's got brontosaurus shit in the treads of its sensible shoes. Is what I'm saying.
It's a fantasy, a conservative fever-dream that keeps alarmists up at night clutching their pearls and praying to the Baby Jesus on behalf of victims of trans bathroom violence who don't exist. There is no endemic danger associated with trans people using public bathrooms. ENDA is not a slippery slope. Spoiler Alert: Trans people use public bathrooms already all the time. BOOGA BOOGA!
There are trans women and men busily living their lives in a cis-privileged world without lots of (most) cis people ever taking notice, and the ignorant fuckheads who engage in bathroom fearmongering have to pretend that isn't the case for any of their bigoted shit to make the slightest bit of sense. They're relying, of course, on the fact that the people upon whose ignorant and hateful fears they prey won't realize the mendacious turds who manipulate them know full fucking well that trans people already use public bathrooms.
They're also relying on the fact that those people will never be relieved of their ignorance and bigotry by trans people telling their stories, and by allies saying things like: I am well aware that there are trans women, some of whom might well have a penis, using the same public restrooms I do—Spoiler Alert: AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE—and anyone who's under the misapprehension that no trans women ever currently use women's bathrooms is a cloistered ignoramus who may well have been deliberately misled by a transphobic asshole with an agenda.
So, in case I haven't made myself abundantly clear: Trans women and men and cis women and men already share bathrooms. This is not a tragedy or cause for alarm. OH NOES BATHROOM PANIC! is unmitigated bullshit. The End.
Because trans people do use public bathrooms, occasionally someone who is at an early stage in transition and/or doesn't "pass" well will get harassed or detained. Like Tyjanae Moore, who was arrested last week after using the women's bathroom at a downtown Houston library.
Get her—thinking she's a WOMAN! (Spoiler Alert: She is.)
Everyone's all confused and alarmed, naturally. Something MUST be done! Why? Because OH NOES BATHROOM PANIC! of course. We must immediately Do Something because of the Mendacious Meme that we've invented to marginalize trans people for no good reason! Et cetera.
And what this is, is projection.
Trans women and men do not, as a rule, make it their business to harass, attack, or otherwise hurt cis women and men in public bathrooms. Or private bathrooms. Or any bathrooms at all, really.
On the other hand, there are not a few cis women and men who make it their bloody goddamn fucking business to harass, target, make a spectacle of, report trans women and men who are minding their own business in public bathrooms.
You want to know what transphobes are up to?
"We think trans people will hurt us in bathrooms!"
They're using bathroom panic to hurt trans people. Right from the projectioneer's mouth.
[H/T to Eastsidekate.]
Question of the Day
Since we've done gifts received not all that long ago... What's the best birthday present you've ever given?
Probably the best gift I've ever given is when I flew Iain's best mate over here for his birthday one year, and we managed to pull it off as a complete surprise. Iain had no idea, and the look on his face when he opened the door was priceless.
(This, btw, was when I was still working in Corporate America and making a shitload of money, and when tickets to and from the UK were about 1/3 what they are now.)
Shaker Gourmet: Thanksgiving 2010!
Time for another annual (American) Thanksgiving post! Time sure flies by...I can't believe it's the end of November already!
Being traditionalists of the Midwest variety, we are keeping with the favorite appetizer:
You can make "cocktail meatballs" with the same sauce, too.Cocktail Weenies
1 pkg Lil' Beef Smokies
1 12-oz jar Heinz Chili Sauce
1 tablespoon grape jelly (more if you'd rather have sweeter)
Mix it all in a crock pot. Cook on low for a couple hours before time to serve.
And going with the tried-n-true:
If you aren't stuffing it, toss a couple cloves of garlic, half an onion, and a few whole sprigs of fresh herbs into the cavity before tying the legs. You can also put a cup of wine or chicken broth into the bottom of the pan, which will add too your drippings for gravy. For more information on buying, thawing,cooking, and stuffing a turkey, see here.Herb-Scented Roast Turkey
* 1 T chopped fresh or 2 tsp dried rosemary leaves, crumbled
* 1 T chopped fresh or 2 tsp dried sage leaves, crumbled
* 1 tsp salt
* 1/4 tsp black pepper
* 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
* 3/4 cup butter, softened
* 1 whole turkey (thawed, innards removed)
—Heat oven to 325. In small bowl, mix rosemary, sage, salt, pepper, and garlic; rub into turkey skin (and under, if you cut a small slit in the skin and put some herbs & butter in the opening--but don't cut too many slits into the skin!)
—Stuff turkey, if desired.
—On rack in shallow roasting pan, place turkey breast side up. Rub all over with butter. Tie the legs together with cooking twine.
—Roast turkey as directed by weight.
—Place turkey on platter, cover w/foil. Let stand appx 20 minutes
before carving.
I've made this for the past couple years and it's a very tasty--the first time I made it I was skeptical of the onion & apple being together. If you get cube stuffing, you could make it just in a bowl and not as "muffins". (Original recipe here)Apple and Onion Stuffin' Muffins
* 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan
* 1 stick butter, softened
* 1 fresh bay leaf, available in produce department
* 4 ribs celery and greens, from the heart, chopped (save time and purchase celery already washed, trimmed and cut into sticks, this makes chopping fast work)
* 1 medium to large yellow skinned onion, chopped
* 3 McIntosh apples, quartered and chopped
* Salt and pepper
* 2 tablespoons poultry seasoning
* 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
* 8 cups cubed stuffing mix (recommended: Pepperidge Farm)
* 2 to 3 cups chicken stock, available in paper containers on the soup aisle
Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Preheat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add extra-virgin olive oil to skillet and 4 tablespoons butter. When butter melts, add bay leaf and add the vegetables as you chop them, celery, onions then apples. Sprinkle the vegetables and apples with salt, pepper and poultry seasoning. Cook 5 to 6 minutes to begin to soften vegetables and apples then add parsley and stuffing cubes to the pan and combine. Moisten the stuffing with chicken broth until all of the bread is soft but not wet.
Butter 12 muffin cups, 2 tins, liberally with remaining butter. Use an ice cream scoop to fill and mound up the stuffing in muffin tins. Remove the bay leaf as you scoop the stuffing when you come upon it. Bake until set and crisp on top, 10 to 15 minutes. Remove stuffin' muffins to a platter and serve hot or room temperature.
I've made this for the past several years, after a friend gave it to me, and it's delicious. It has even converted a cranberry-hater. I kid you not.Ginger Apricot Cranberry Sauce
* 1 tbsp. unsalted butter
* 2 tbsp. finely grated ginger
* 16 oz. fresh cranberries
* 2/3 cup sugar
* 1 cup orange juice
* 1/2 cup apricot preserves
In a saucepan, over medium heat, melt butter. Add ginger and cook, stirring for 2 minutes. Add crans, sugar, oj and preserves. Cook, stirring occasionally, until crans burst and sauce thickens, about 20 mins. Transfer to bowl and serve warm.
You can also change out the cornflakes for pecans or almonds (add in a couple tablespoons of flour if you do).Sweet Potato Casserole
* 3 large sweet potatoes (or yams), roasted & peeled
* 1/2 cup sugar
* 2 eggs
* 1/3 cup milk
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 cup packed brown sugar
* 2 cups cornflakes
* 2/3 cup melted butter, divided
—Heat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 2 quart baking dish.
—Mash sweet potatoes. Combine with them with the sugar, eggs, 1/3 cup butter, milk and vanilla. Place in the prepared baking dish.
—In a separate bowl combine the brown sugar, cornflakes, and 1/3 cup butter. Sprinkle over the top of the sweet potato mixture. Bake for 35 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.
Since I don't care for pumpkin pie, I always make two desserts. This year the second dessert will be toffee apple pie:
Toffee Apple Pie
5 - 6 cups apples, use a mix (I use Jonagold and Granny Smith)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tsp vanilla
4 tablespoons heavy cream
3 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1 cup toffee brickle (I use Heath Bits o' Brickle [no chocolate on it!]) but any non-chocolate toffee candy cut up will do.
2 9" pie crusts
egg white + water for egg wash
sparkling sugar (optional)
--Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
--Peel and slice apples then sprinkle with lemon juice. Combine dry ingredients (only one 1/4 cup flour) in large bowl and add apples. Toss to mix. Add vanilla and cream and mix. Melt the 3 TB butter in heavy skillet. Add apple mixture and cook about 5 minutes. Turn into pie shell.
--Combine the flour and sugar in small bowl. Mix in butter with fork or pastry blender until it makes crumbs and then stir in the toffee. Sprinkle over apples and add top crust. Seal, vent top crust, and brush with beaten egg white (sprinkle with sparkling sugar if you want). Bake for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake 45 minutes longer. Let cool about an hour on cooling rack before serving.
For other ideas:
Thanksgiving 2009: Jellied Cranberry Sauce, Spinach Madeline, Pumpkin-Apple Streusel Cake.
Thanksgiving 2008: Good Eats Roast Turkey, Basic French Bread, Sweet Potato Balls.
Thanksgiving 2007: Bruschetta, Brie Mashed Potatoes, gravy & gravy tips, Old Fashioned Dinner Rolls, Herb Bread & Dipping Oil, Bavarian Apple Torte.
For a non-pumpkin, non-apple, super easy dessert: Peanut Butter Pie
Feel free to share your ideas/recipes, too!
Life Flashes By: Join the Open Beta!
The short of it: One of our Shakers has developed a new PC-based adventure game that you need to download and try out this very second!
The long of it: A little over a year ago, there was a guest post by Shaker Selasphorus on the issue of game developers catering to a rather specific demographic (i.e. dudebros). I took note of a comment by a Shaker named Squinky, who is an indie game developer trying to create "games with strong characters, personally meaningful themes, accessible interfaces, and an all-around focus on good storytelling."
Since I've always had an interest in doing voice work, I decided to reach out to Squinky (aka Deirdra) to see if she was in the market for any voice acting for her projects. Deirdra didn't need anyone at the time, but she said she would reach out if that ever changed. And so, about a year later I get a nice email from her stating that she'd like me to try out for a couple of parts for her new project, Life Flashes By. After several readings, she thought I worked well for a couple of the supporting characters in the story (I'm not telling which ones - you'll have to guess!), and off I went to record!
As I went through some of the script, I really appreciated the effort and thought that Deirdra put into this story, and I think you will too - which is why I would like you to consider downloading Life Flashes By and letting Deirdra know what you think.
Partial Credit
[TW: Sexual Assault]
CNN Nooz Blog: 'Maybe the media's making the TSA seem bad just for shitz.'
The real problem here is that the media is making a big deal about the possibility that survivors (and trans people, and civil libertarians, and people who don't like getting sexually assaulted) are just huge babies who probably don't have it that bad and should stop their whining.
So, yes, there is mediafail, just not the one CNN seems to be reporting. In otherwords, CNN is correct that CNN blows, but for the wrong reason.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Assvertising
[Trigger warning for harassment, objectification, coercion, and mockery/minimization of same.]
This advert for Lindt Lindor Truffles originally ran in the summer, but I've just seen it starting to run again (as has Shaker Socchan, who emailed me about it). There's a lot wrong with this ad—see trigger warning, and of course the entire frame that suggests it's all hilarious because it's women doing it to a famous, powerful, privileged man—and a whole lot wrong with Lindt's decision to capitalize on the current concerns about TSA enhanced screening in an effort to sell fucking candy.
[Transcript below.]
Scene: An airport security checkpoint. Two young, thin, traditionally pretty white women, one blonde and one brunette, are working as security agents. Blonde nudges Brunette as tennis player Roger Federer comes through their checkpoint.[Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124.]
Federer: Hello. [He smiles.]
Brunette: [to Blonde] Hey, come check this out. [On the x-ray monitor, showing the contents of Federer's bag, is a bunch of round objects.]
Blonde: [nodding knowingly] Tennis player.
[The bag comes through on the conveyor belt; Blonde eyes Federer then zips open the bag, revealing a bunch of loose Lindt Lindor Truffles. Brunette comes over to look. They exchange glances with Federer. The two women each pick up a truffle, unwrap it, and eat it. They close their eyes and say, in unison, "Mmmmm."]
Federer: You're eating my chocolate.
Blonde: [with mouth still full of chocolate, pointing to bag] Um, we're gonna have to confiscate these.
Federer: Why is that?
Brunette: It's a new policy.
Blonde: No chocolate balls.
Federer: [looking confused] Okay.
Brunette: I think we should do a strip search.
Federer: [looking concerned] Excuse me?
Blonde: Definitely. [nods] Definitely strip search. [Federer looks alarmed.] So if you could take off your pants…turn around…
Federer: [turning around, but not taking off his pants] Is this really necessary?
Blonde: Stop. Right there.
Federer: [stopping with his back to the women] What's wrong?
Blonde: Nothing! Everything's right.
Brunette: You move very well.
Blonde: Mm-hmm.
Brunette: You must work out a lot.
Blonde: Mm-hmm. [Federer starts to turn back around.] Slowly—oh, yeah. That's the spot.
Federer: People are watching this!
Blonde: Anyway, you're all done! [The women smile; Blonde motions with her head that he can leave.] Carry on.
Federer: [reaching for his bag] My chocolate?
Blonde: Nope. My chocolate.
Federer: [walking away] You ladies are crazy.
Blonde: Have a nice flight! … Love you!
Two Americas
Corporate Profits Were the Highest on Record Last Quarter:
The nation's workers may be struggling, but American companies just had their best quarter ever.This is the master the GOP has been serving (and the Democrats, to a lesser extent). All the nonsense about abortion rights and kissing boys is just subterfuge, designed to get gullible US workers to vote against their own best interests.
American businesses earned profits at an annual rate of $1.66 trillion in the third quarter, according to a Commerce Department report released Tuesday. That is the highest figure recorded since the government began keeping track over 60 years ago, at least in nominal or non-inflation-adjusted terms.
Corporate profits have been going gangbusters for a while. Since their cyclical low in the fourth quarter of 2008, profits have grown for seven consecutive quarters, at some of the fastest rates in history.
Deregulation, privatization, corporate personhood, the veneration of avarice, the conflation of wealth with morality, and the myth of a market that solves all problems. That's what got us here.
The US public has told itself a lot of lies. The truth is this: The invisible hand belongs to a thief.
This is literally the worst headline I've ever read.
Barbara Bush Explains Miscarriage Anecdote.
There's nothing right with that collection of words.
Daily Dose o' Cute
Video Description: Dudley wrestles heroically with a fuzzy yellow blanket, set to a piece of Beethoven's Symphony No. 3, Op. 55 Eroica Symphony. Spoiler Alert: The blanket wins!
Still pix of Dudz w/ the blanket and the kitteh girls, in various poses of cuddly sleepiness, below the fold (on most browsers)...
Dudley
Sophie
Olivia
Matilda
Joss Whedon on Buffy Reboot
So, as you may have heard, Warner Bros. announced yesterday that they are "doing a 'reboot' version of Buffy, without any apparent involvement by the original creative team for the movie or TV show, including the man considered the end-all be-all Buffy mastermind, Joss Whedon."
I'll leave you to dissect the wisdom of such a decision in comments. Whedon's reaction is priceless—and perfect:
I'm glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film. This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself."But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?" LOL forever.
Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?
I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.
Leave me to my pain! Sincerely, Joss Whedon.
