Shakesville

This Makes TOO Much Sense

Bury this news immediately!

Alcohol ranks "most harmful" among a list of 20 drugs -- beating out crack and heroin -- according to study results released by a British medical journal.

A panel of experts weighed the physical, psychological and social problems caused by the drugs and determined that alcohol was the most harmful overall, according to an article on the study released by The Lancet Sunday.

Using a new scale to evaluate harms to individual users and others, alcohol received a score of 72 on a scale of 1 to 100, the study says.

That makes it almost three times as harmful as cocaine or tobacco, according to the article, which is slated to be published on The Lancet's website Monday and in an upcoming print edition of the journal.

Auto fatalities are more likely when drivers use alcohol. There are more hunting accidents when hunters have used alcohol. Domestic abuse against partners and children increase with the use of alcohol. Despite the preponderance of articles exhorting women not to drink, men who rape acquaintances in particular have frequently been drinking. There's a reason the term "barfight" exists and the term "cinemafight" or the term "restaurantfight" doesn't.

Of course alcohol is a serious drug. And, like any other serious drug, it is safe in moderation. But we've got a culture instead built around actively encouraging its use in excess, despite the evidence that its excessive use can have devastating consequences, for oneself and for others.

Judgment Day

[Trigger warning for body policing.]

So, Iain and I are at the grocery store yesterday, and we're parked in an aisle with our cart, strategizing about who's going to go where to find the last couple of things on our list so we can get the heck outta there. It was one of those "Shit, we're out of everything!" weeks, and it felt like we'd already been shopping for nine hours.

As we're talking, a woman walks by, pushing her cart in the opposite direction. She's dressed in yellow, head-to-toe: A yellow hat, yellow shirt, yellow tracksuit, and yellow sneakers. Even yellow eyeshadow. It could have been for Halloween, or it could have been because she's A Character. I couldn't tell.

Anyway, as she passes, she leans toward me and says: "I never want to see you again because your boobs are sexier than mine!" Then just keeps walking.

Iain and I just looked at each other, like, "WTF? Did that just happen?"

It was one of those "I hate you" comments that was meant to be (sort of) a compliment...? But I felt rather less complimented than totally discombobulated.

And immediately, unshakably, body-conscious in a way I had not been moments before.

* * *

Walking down another aisle, I heard a father tell his son, who wanted to buy a box of some kind of individually-wrapped sweet cakes, the sort that lots of kids get in their lunchboxes: "Put that back. Only bad people eat that shit."

* * *

Standing in the checkout line, there was a woman in front of me. I don't make it a habit to pay attention to what other people are buying, because, frankly, I've no interest or inclination to judge other people's choices and I don't give a shit. So when she said, "This isn't all for me," my response was, "Pardon me?"

She held up two huge packages of ground beef. "This isn't all for me," she said. "I'm not going to eat all of it myself. I've got four boys at home."

"Oh," I said. "Okay." She was still looking at me, rather anxiously. "That sounds like a lot of work," I offered.

She nodded. "It is. And they eat a lot."

"I bet," I replied. I smiled at her.

Iain joined me in the line then, and she turned back around, this tiny woman who felt obliged to assure me she wasn't going to eat 10 pounds of ground beef on her own. Maybe because she really was, and maybe because she really wasn't. As if it were any of my business either way.

* * *

I just wanted to grab the nearest intercom: "Attention Shoppers: This is now a judgment-free zone. We're all going to get through grocery shopping without its being a series of mini-morality plays. Buy what you want. Let everyone else buy what they want. Keep your eyes on your own cart. Experience the joy of shame-free shopping! Thank you and have a nice day."

On the "Restore Sanity/Fear" Rally

So, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert held a rally yesterday. (More here.) And Jon Stewart closed the event with a serious monologue urging cooperation, which I suppose was supposed to be profound, but is, frankly, utterly meaningless in the context he created of "both sides are just as bad."

Both sides are not just as bad, and both sides are not equally responsible for the antagonism that has led to the extreme political polarization which currently prevents cooperation.

It's evident in a Democratic president who's alienating his own base in order to work with the opposition—and an opposition who overly promise gridlock and talk about blood oaths to shut down the government if they don't get their way.

It's evident in a civil rights movement in which people want the basic rights to serve their country openly and marry whom they love, the equality guaranteed them by the Constitution—and their ideological opponents shutting down debate with lies and fearmongering and hatred mendaciously cloaked in religion, so they can claim a right to religious freedom, even as their religious beliefs oppress others.

It's evident in a debate about a legal medical procedure in which the people with the pro-choice position are said to be restricting freedom, though no one is forced to submit to the procedure under their paradigm; in which the people who support giving access to women to a life-saving procedure are the ones who are said to be murderers. People with the "pro-life" position harass patients and murder doctors.

The positions and strategies "both sides" of these issues—as on many others—are not equivalent.

The pro-choice position does not force anyone to get an abortion who does not want one; the anti-choice position, however, prevents women who want abortions from getting them. The pro-marriage equality position does not force anyone to marry a person of the same sex, nor require that any churches perform same-sex marriage ceremonies; the anti-marriage equality position, however, prevents same-sex couples who want to get married from doing so and prevents churches who want to perform same-sex marriage ceremonies from doing so.

The progressive position treats women and LGBTQIs as autonomous, rights-bearing human beings deserving of full equality; the conservative position treats women's bodies as state property and LGBTQIs as second-class citizens.

There isn't room for "compromise" there. There is only a fervent belief in the consent, autonomy, respect, and dignity of marginalized people—and a shameless, unapologetic movement to protect undeserved privilege at the expense of the same.

The progressive position allows for individual choice; the conservative position does not. The progressive position expands collective freedom; the conservative position limits it. Over and over and over.

Affirmative action. Immigration reform. Gun laws. Funding the social safety net. Rendition. Torture. Eavesdropping. War v. diplomacy. Pick any issue. It's always the same.

Because that's the nature of conservatism: To preserve privilege.

And lecturing "both sides" about cooperation when one side is about advancing opportunity and expanding access, and the other is about preventing both, is bullshit. The end.

Open Thread

Hosted by glue.

Vintage Shaker Gourmet Holiday

How about something warm & orangish for supper? I posted this a couple years ago but I thought it'd be nice to re-post:

Samhain Sweet Potato Pumpkin Soup
2 sweet potatoes (or yams), peeled or scrubbed, and diced
1 medium onion
1 -2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbs butter or olive oil
4 - 6 cups vegetable stock or broth
1/3 cup canned or fresh cooked pumpkin
Freshly grated nutmeg and ginger, to taste
Salt to taste
1/2 cup light cream

Cook potatoes, onion, and garlic in the butter or olive oil for several minutes until slightly golden. Add stock (or broth) to cover vegetables and bring to a boil. Simmer until potatoes are soft, about 25 minutes.

Add pumpkin, nutmeg, ginger, and salt and puree this mixture in batches in a blender or food processor. Add in the cream and return mixture to the saucepan. Heat, thin with more stock/broth if necessary, to make a creamy soup. Serve in small hollowed-out pumpkins (festive!), with a dollop of sour cream, if desired.

This recipe comes from one of my favorite books: Celebrating the Great Mother: A Handbook of Earth-Honoring Activities for Parents and Children.

Happy Samhain!
Happy Halloween!

Spicy Autumn Apple Bread
2.5 cups grated (peeled & cored) apple
2 cups raisins
1.5 cups boiling water
3 tablespoons oil
1 cup + 2 tablespoons honey
1.5 tsp. cinnamon
1.5 tsp. allspice
1.5 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
3 cups whole-wheat flour
1.5 tsp. baking soda
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

Place apples and raisins in a bowl and cover with boiling water. Pour oil on top and allow to soak for 10 minutes. Add honey, cinnamon, allspice, salt, and cloves and allow to cool. In another bowl, sift together flour and baking soda. Combine with fruit mixture and stir in walnuts. Pour into two greased loaf pans. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for approximately one hour.

This is very good, btw (and from the same book).

(And, yes, that's one of our pumpkins this year...it took quite a while to carve!)

Open Thread

Hosted by an awesome Jack o' Lantern...

...and candy. Happy Halloween!

Open Thread

Hosted by Kang and Kodos.

The Virtual Pub Is Open

[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!

Photo of the Day

"Agreement struck. Ghostbusters will not go after the Man In Black."—Lost Producer Carlton Cuse, pictured here with Bill Murray. [Via.]

Two and a Half Million Metric Fucktons of Fail

Seriously, why the fuck does Charlie Sheen still have a hit television series with a ginormous $2 million-per-episode paycheck and a successful movie career which still nets him multimillion dollar deals?

Oh. Right. Thank you, Wolf.

Quote of the Day

"Most people believe that Al-Qaeda is one of America's biggest security threats, I think it's time to add liberal activist judges like Judge Phillips to that list."—Alabama Supreme Court Justice Tom Parker, suggesting that US District Judge Virginia Phillips, who ruled Don't Ask Don't Tell unconstitutional and issued an injunction to halt the policy, is as great a threat to national security as a radical terrorist organization.

Sure. That's reasonable.

Project Runway Finale Open Thread

Spoilers below, including discussion of the winners and losers last night.

Dipshit of the Day

[Trigger warning for violence.]

Jonah Goldberg. I know that's some low-hanging fruit, right there, but he's really earned it today.

I'd like to ask a simple question: Why isn't [WikiLeaks' editor-in-chief] Julian Assange dead?

...Why wasn't Assange garroted in his hotel room years ago?

It's a serious question.

No, it's not a serious question. It's a bullshit question from a vile mind housed in a brainpan filled with garbage.

Also see: Athenae, BTD, and DougJ.

Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"

See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]

Daily Dose o' Cute

His Royal Legness

A Conservative Halloween. Or: Check Out This Totes Hip Counter-Culture, Yo.

One of my favorite parts of Halloween is all the evidence of conservative Christian projection. They whinge incessantly, with precious little evidence (that is, none), about how pro-choice advocates lie and fearmonger to try to talk pregnant women into abortions, but then they celebrate Halloween with Hell Houses, which are nothing but mendacious fearmonging on steroids. They routinely accuse queer people of trying to recruit children, but then they spend Halloween handing out Christian propaganda instead of candy.

Six years ago, my nephew came home from trick-or-treating with two books in his bag o' goodies, which my sister was appalled to discover (and removed from his sight before he read them). When she showed them to me, I begged her to let me have them, and she kindly agreed, since they were otherwise destined for the rubbish bin. Apparently, some of their neighbors felt that kids didn't need candy so much as a lesson on Christianity and Evil in the form of a strange little hardback comic book.

I can't even imagine how many of these things were handed out to unsuspecting kids, many of whom (like my nephew) were raised Christian, but a decidedly different flavor.

You'll have to forgive the quality of the images; I took photos of the pages when I first posted them five years ago, because I didn't (and still don't) have a flat scanner, and I didn't want to destroy the books to share them. (Not all the pages have been posted, but you'll get the gist.)

Book One: Satan, Bite the Dust!
A Storybook for Kids

[cover of book with title and image of gunslinger]

Warrant

[picture of warrant reading: "WARRANT for the arrest of Satan and his demonic cohorts / By the power of the Body of Christ in the Name of Jesus Christ / Satan, bite the dust!"]

Carman (not to be confused with Cartman of South Park fame)
enters the saloon and makes plain his plan…

[image of gunslinger saying: "Satan, bite the dust!"]

Satan and his gang of wicked henchmonsters (identified in the
book as his "unholy herd") are having none of Carman's B.S.

[image of swarthy nogoodniks]

Cartman knows the only way to deal with evildoers is to…

…beat the shit out of them!

[images of gunslinger violently beating up the swarthy nogoodniks]

Carman, who announces he represents "a whole new breed of Christian today,"
knows that a good, old-fashioned ass-whuppin' won't take care of the devil
himself, so he pulls out his gun…

[image of gun labeled "THE WORD"]

…and his bullets…

[image of bullets labeled "THE WORD" and "TESTIMONY"]

…and blows the devil clean away!

[image of devil being shot and killed]

The End.

But this little tale of Christian murder and mayhem does come with a warning for the kiddies…

["The gun used in this book represents the Word of God. Guns are dangerous but have no power in the spirit realm."]

That's right. Guns are dangerous, but they have no power in the spirit realm. So you should only use them to kill heretics, not the devil. Happy Halloween!

* * *

Book Two: No Monsters
A Storybook for Kids

[cover of book with title and image of grown-up Carman]

Our story begins with Young Carman watching a scary movie, all alone…

[image of child Carman watching a movie at night by himself: "When I was just a little kid I saw this movie about a crazy lunatic, you see." (And thus are "monsters" established to be people with mental illness.)]

His parents are, inexplicably, nowhere to be found, so he
only has the crazy lunatic on the teevee to keep him company.

[image of Carman being scared by "crazy lunatic" on TV]

Carman gets it in his head that the crazy lunatic is after him!

[image of Carman explaining he thinks the "crazy lunatic" is after him]

In spite of his disturbing relationship with
horror movies, Carman continues to watch them…

[image of Carman scared and watching another horror movie]

…including one about an alligator man…

[image of "alligator man," which just looks like a crocodile]

["I watch him while he chases and he hunts this peaceful family through the woods with only one thing on his mind..."]

…devouring the peaceful family's child!

[image of scared child in movie]

Carman gets very scared when he goes to bed…

[image of scared Carman in bed with sheets pulled up]

…and he sees an evil spirit float by his bed, but…

[First image: "I got righteously indignant! I was gonna make that demon pay! I could hardly believe the nerve of this little punk demon. I thought, Heyyyy...all right! That's it, you're dead!" Second image: Carman holding out a Bible and saying: "I am the temple of the Holy Ghost! And I'm protected by the Lord of Hosts! Get out in the name of Jesus Christ!" Third image: "Don't want no monsters in my house tonight! Don't want no monsters in my house! You won't get me screamin', you're nothin' but a demon! It's time for you to go now!"]

Carman's Christianity takes care of the imaginary demon once and for all, and he finally gets a good night sleep! Yay!

Or so one imagines. The book ends there. Maybe the monsters killed him. Who knows? Kind of anti-climactic, to be honest.

The one good thing about No Monsters, though, is this:

["Just 4 Kidz Product Order Form"]
An order form right in the back! I can order music, videos, more books—and I just might, so I can keep educating all you filthy heretics and hopefully save your eternal souls from, uh, alligator men.

Happy Halloween!

Friday Blogaround

This blogaround is brought to you by ZOMBIE RATS, which are brought to you by Toxoplasmosa gondii:

scicurious: Friday Weird Science: HALLOWEEN MAD SCIENCE EDITION. The Zombiefying Parasite!

Image description: a fluorescence micrograph of T. gondii in blue and yellow, enhanced and resized from the one in scicurious' post.

Stacy Bias: Big Fat Kiss-In TOMORROW in NYC, in response to Marie Claire article

Fannie: There, I Fixed It and Stuff Progressives Do: Use Very Edgy Rhetorical Devices (That Marginalize the Marginalized)

Historiann: Teaching while non-white and female

Diane Shipley at FWD/Forward: Guest Post: Stuck and tired: How universities are failing disabled students (like me)

Angry Asian Man: an extra in the "chinese professor" ad speaks out. This post is a follow-up to political ad: future china will laugh at your downfall, america.

[TW for references to violence, both in the article and the embedded video] Steve Silberman of NeuroTribes: I’m Right Here: Rudy Simone on Life as an “Aspergirl”

Take Back Halloween! Blog: We’re going to be on the radio!

Sociological Images: [TW fat hatred] Men Dressing Up as Fat Women: Hilarious and Disgusting! and, since people have mentioned this ad in comments here, Beer, Sex, and "The Hunt".

Share your links in comments!

Arkansas School Board Member Update

Last night Clint McCance, the bigoted ignoramus school board member who posted a whole lot of fetid bullshit on his Facebook page, was on Anderson Cooper. He says he's sorry his comments hurt people and he's resigning:

"I'm sorry I've hurt people with my comments," Clint McCance, vice-president of the Midland School District in Pleasant Plains, Arkansas said. "I'm sorry I made those ignorant comments and hurt people on a broad spectrum."

He then went on to say the exact opposite of what he said on Facebook:

"I would never support suicide for any kids," he said. "I don't support bullying of any kids."

"I'd like to extend apologies to those families that have lost children, for all those children who feel that suicide is the only way out, especially for the five families who have already lost children," he said, referring to a rash of recent suicides by gay teens. "I brought more hurt on them... they didn't deserve that and I do feel genuinely bad for them."

Though he disapproves of homosexuality, McCance said that "I give everyone a chance and try to love everyone."

I see. So now you don't "enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die"? So "if they all commit suicide" is now not the only reason you'll wear purple? So you won't plan to "absolutely run them off", if your kids are gay? Uh-huh. Color me cynical.

He said he would resign from the school board to spare the district the bad press and distractions of dealing with the fallout from his comments. "If they decide after five or ten years to vote me back in, then I'll run again," he said.

Well, at least he won't be on the board anymore. Hopefully he never will be again.

(h/t Liss and shaker sloeburn)

B-b-but TROOP READINESS! And OTHER THINGS!

Someone get me to the fainting couch—stat!

A majority of active-duty and reserve service members surveyed by the Defense Department would not object to serving and living alongside openly gay troops, according to multiple people familiar with the findings.

The survey's results are expected to be included in a Pentagon report, due to President Obama on Dec. 1, regarding how the military would end enforcement of the "don't ask, don't tell" law that bans openly gay men and lesbians from serving in uniform.

Some troops surveyed - but not a majority - objected strongly to the idea of serving with gays and said they would quit the military if the policy changed, said the sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to publicly share details of the survey.

Defense Department officials did not respond to requests for comment.

Probably because "Oh CRAP" isn't exactly a PR winner.

Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

Deeky [texts below picture]: Gummi worm!

Liss: I ain't eatin' anything that's been in your butt.

Deeky: That hasn't been in my butt!

Liss: I just assume everything in your house has been in your butt.

Deeky: LOL!

Liss: Frankly, I assume everything in MY house has been in your butt.

Deeky: Used the remote control lately?

Liss: Yes, but it's still safely entombed in the hazmat material in which I encased it after you left.

Deeky: LOL for real.

Liss: Know who's cute? Patrick Wilson.

Deeky: The Mormon from Angels in America?

Liss: He's in that new garbage film with Indiana Jones and Annie Hall.

Deeky: That movie looks like it should be up my butt.

Liss: That movie looks like it originated in your butt.

Deeky: LOL! P.S. Why do you hate pubic hair?

Liss: I only like gingepubes! The end!

Deeky: LOL! I'm gonna send you gingepubes from my taint.

Liss: LOL! I should make that the Quote of the Day, just to show what a twisted fuckbrain you are!

Deeky: LOL! YEAH!