[Trigger warning for reference to domestic violence.]
One day, in July, my phone bleeped to alert me I had a new text message. I picked it up and found a picture waiting for me. It was an image of a woman's face, badly bruised. Her eyes were both blackened, her left eye so swollen that it made the socket look disfigured.
I didn't know this woman. I had no idea why this picture had been sent to me. Was it a callous prank? A threat? Or just a wrong number?
I texted back: "Who are you trying to reach? Do you need help?"
Came the terse reply: "No wrong number so sorry."
Like everyone else, I've been socialized to Mind My Own Business, even about matters where it's patently obvious My Business should be about stepping in between someone being hurt and someone doing the hurting. I wanted to not reply. But I replied.
"It's okay. No need to be sorry. If you need someone to help you, please don't hesitate to ask me. I'm a woman who is a survivor of assault and works with other survivors of assault, and you may have reached me by coincidence, but please feel like you can ask me help if you need it. Best wishes."
Came the reply: "Oh no I was in an auto accident 2 days ago and sent the pic to a friend and switched 2 numbers around but thank u so much anyway."
"Okay," I replied. I noted that she was not taken aback by, or offended by, or defensive about the implication that she may have been assaulted. "I figured I'd offer just in case it wasn't something like that. Sorry about your accident! Get well soon. :)"
I didn't expect a reply. But one came nonetheless.
"I am so glad this did happen in case another one of my friends ever gets beat up again and im serious about that."
I texted back: "Keep my number and let us both hope you never have reason to use it."
"I will," she wrote, "and thank u very much."
* * *
Last week, I saw a woman who I think was she in a local drugstore. She carried a small child in her arms, and, for reasons I can't explain, I felt embarrassed at recognizing her, I guess because she couldn't recognize me back, which felt unfair somehow.
We passed each other going opposite directions, just two women, living our lives, almost perfect strangers, and I walked on to the register, bought my junk, and left.
I Hope I Never Hear From You Again
Are any of y'all good with mail merge?
[Trigger warning for transphobia]
Let's see if this works:
Dear Mr. Rick Guy,
Oh hi! I see that you are running for the position of New York State Assemblyperson from the 120th district. Good for you. It is self-sacrificing patriots such as yourself that make this country the rich and vibrant democracy it is, etc., etc.
I couldn't help but note your concern over transgender people in bathrooms. Don't make me tap the sign.
I have it on good authority that trans women are already using women's bathrooms in your district. Women like me, right after I finish this post. While I appreciate your concern about "men dressed as women" in women's bathrooms, that's a bunch of smelly boogers. In other words, I don't appreciate your concern trolling at all.
As to your point that your opponent should have been focusing exclusively on the economy, rather than also voting for GENDA, permit me to remind you that getting fired from your job because of who you are is an economic issue.
In closing, STFU already, you technicolor poopy.
Neither love nor votes,
Katie
Number of the Day
57: The percentage of US adults who "believe America today has become too politically correct," according to a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey.
First of all, I hate the phrase "politically correct," which has just become a phrase used to (unsuccessfully) mask a sneering contempt for basic decency. If you're someone who has the nerve to suggest that marginalized people should be treated with dignity and respect, you're "politically correct," which not only disdains the fundamental kindness of acknowledging another person's, or one's own, agency and humanity, but also implicitly suggests that you aren't principled: You don't believe that shit; you're just being politically correct. Ugh.
Secondly, I find it hilarious that a plurality of surveyed US adults thinks the country's just gone too "politically correct" for its own good. Yes, if there's one thing I always say about the US, it's: Settle down with all the respect and equality!
OMGWTFLOL WHUT?!
Today in unmitigated temerity:
Nearly 20 years after Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his contentious Supreme Court confirmation hearings, Justice Thomas's wife has called Ms. Hill, seeking an apology.Seriously, I don't even. I just. Whut.
..."Good morning Anita Hill, it's Ginni Thomas," [a voicemail message] said. "I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband."
Ms. Thomas went on: "So give it some thought. And certainly pray about this and hope that one day you will help us understand why you did what you did. O.K., have a good day."
For those of you who don't remember, or never knew, or weren't born yet, Anita Hill was an adviser/assistant to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas back when he was working for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) under Reagan. Hill alleged that Thomas sexually harassed her, and Hill was called to testify about those allegations after Thomas was nominated to the Supreme Court by then-president George H.W. Bush. The hearing turned the issue of workplace sexual harassment into a (much-needed) national conversation, but it was also a total disgrace, as Hill was victim-blamed to hell and back in the media, and the Senate Judiciary Committee hastily dismissed her allegations as having no merit. Then-Senator and current Vice President Joe Biden made a total arse of it, to what ought toe be his eternal shame.
If anyone is owed apologies from that debacle, it's Anita Hill.
Anyway, Hill wasn't even certain if the voice on the machine was Thomas, or someone intending to harass her, so she turned the tape over to the Brandeis campus police. Thomas later "confirmed leaving the message, which she portrayed as a peacemaking gesture. She did not explain its timing."
"I did place a call to Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years, in hopes that we could ultimately get past what happened so long ago," she said. "That offer still stands. I would be very happy to meet and talk with her if she would be willing to do the same. Certainly no offense was ever intended."Hill (quite rightly) described Thomas' "olive branch" as "inappropriate" and "not invited. There was no background for it."
In response to Ms. Thomas’s statement, Ms. Hill said that she had testified truthfully about her experiences with the future Justice Thomas and that she had nothing to apologize for.
"I appreciate that no offense was intended, but she can't ask for an apology without suggesting that I did something wrong, and that is offensive," Ms. Hill said.
That's way more polite than Thomas deserves.
[H/Ts to Shakers Randomosity, Jewel, and eastsidekate.]
Why is Shakesville Purple Today?
[Trigger warning for suicide.]
Today is Spirit Day:
In the wake of several suicides by gay teens, a teenage girl from Canada sent out a call for a worldwide lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Spirit Day. Posted and re-posted from blogs to Facebook to other social networking sites, her call for remembrance spread across the Internet in a matter of days.There's more about Spirit Day here.
With the use of her Tumblr account, the announcement asks people to wear purple on Oct. 20 in memory of those bullied and harassed for their sexual orientation.
"On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the seven gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months, many of them due to homophobic abuse in their homes or at their schools," Brittany McMillan said. "Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that's exactly what we'd like all of you to have with you: spirit."
...In addition to remembering the lives lost, Spirit Day also seeks to raise awareness of problems that arise from bullying based on sexual orientation. ... This summer the Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network published their 2009 National School Climate Survey on the bullying of gay teens. The survey of 7,261 middle and high school students found nearly 9-out-of-10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school.
In the past year, nearly two-thirds felt unsafe because of their sexual orientation. Nearly a third of LGBT students skipped at least one day of school in the past month because of concern for their own safety.
We will "wear" purple for the rest of the day. We will remain committed to championing LGBTQI equality, and challenging straight privilege, always.
Question of the Day
What do you want to put on a t-shirt today?
I say "today," because there may be lots of things that each of us wants to put on a t-shirt, or has put on t-shirts, or whatever, and you needn't feel obliged to pick The One. Just something that you want to broadcast, as it were, today.
Tea and Sexuality
One of the more interesting aspects of the rise of the Tea Party mentality has been its return to the golden days of yesteryear (i.e. 1980) when the discussion of sexual mores and practices was fodder for political debate.
I find it incomprehensible how politicians like O’Donnell talk a big game about freedom and liberty, while out the other sides of their mouths seem to be calling for the imposition of medieval sexual morality, if not in law, in what is to be seen as proper behavior for “good people”. Even more incomprehensible to me is the fact that people buy into it. If we truly live in a free country, then as consenting adults, we are free to do as we will with regard to our own bodies. Perhaps sensing this internal inconsistency, they will often attempt to frame these moralizations into arguments about how “sexual deviance” is the root of all our social and political problems; thus making public problems out of our private lives.First on the list, of course, is Teh Gayz. Marriage equality and the impending (if not glacially-paced) repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell has brought sex out of the bedroom and onto the stage. Candidates are holding forth on whether or not being gay is a choice, whether or not their opponents ought to be seen in the company of gays on parade, and whether or not gays and lesbians or even unmarried straight women sharing a house with their boyfriend should be allowed to teach in the public schools.
It seems harmless enough; if you can't make any sense when you talk about the real issues, go for the genitalia. But look at the recent rash of suicides among teens and children who have been bullied and tormented for being gay or even suspected of it. I don't have any real proof that there's a connection between the right wing's return to morality-minding (as if they don't need a refresher course for some of their own such as Newt Gingrich, John Ensign, and David Vitter) and these tragedies, but it's hard to avoid the connection. As Melissa says frequently, this shit doesn't happen in a void. Teens, especially those who are coming to grips with their own sexual identity, view it as an intensely personal and predominant force in their lives, and to suddenly find their most vulnerable aspect suddenly on display and held up to examination, mockery, and condemnation by friends, family, and the disembodied voices on the TV of candidates like Christine O'Donnell is devastating; it turns one's life into a laugh track for opportunistic scolds. No one can see it in the abstract; it is all about them and their most private and guarded senses. No wonder the demons find it easy prey.
It is no great secret that those who wish to scold and repress others for their sexual or moral standards are, of course, doing it to repress and scold themselves. It is human nature and recorded in countless ways throughout history. The fact that it can still be exploited for political gain is nothing new, either. I just wish that those who are doing it would think -- or even care -- about the damage they're inflicting on others, our society, and themselves.
HT to CLW.
Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Well done NPR, well done.
[TW: Sexual Abuse]
In an ill-advised and Overtonian attempt to show it's down with the kids these days and their "pop culture", the Vatican recently declared that the Simpsons are Catholic. There's plenty of snark to be had here, but permit me to be serious for a moment. In case you haven't noticed, the Catholic Church is having a bit of a rough year (er... decades?). And even if you manage to get past the sexual abuse, it's hard to get around the fact that many young people aren't buying the Vatican's bigoted stance on any number of social issues, which is undoubtedly bad for the family business.
What's a church to do but throw on some hammer pants, crank up the Miley Cyprus and start "rapping" about the latest popular trends?
If it couldn't get any worse, the Vatican desperately wanted to pretend that it's not merely pandering to the young people with this latest pronouncement, which means that it had to whip out the faux philosophy (fauxlosophy?):
The Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore wrote:
"Skeptical realism seems to prevail in the Simpson stories... Young generations of television watchers are educated to not let themselves be fooled. The moral? None. But one knows that a world without easy illusions is a more human world and, perhaps, more Christian."
Yeah, that and "I caught you a delicious bass" gets you a cup of coffee.
And this is where NPR comes in. I don't expect an outfit as classy as National Public Radio to directly call the Vatican on its bullshit. Thus, I give you NPR's webreportage:
[IMAGE: The headline reads "Vatican Claims Homer is Catholic, Saints go Begging (this part refers to another news item.) The picture is of Homer marrying two men in his garage.]
LOLOL!! Well. Played.
T-Shirts and Teaspoons and Mythical Creatures
[Trigger warning for sexual violence and rape apologia.]
About a dozen people (and thanks to each of you) have emailed me to let me know that the Penny Arcade "raped by dickwolves" strip that prompted this guest post and my Survivors Are So Sensitive post, among many others around the blogosphere, has now spawned a t-shirt featuring the head of what is apparently a raping dickwolf and the words "Penny Arcade Dickwolves," in the style of an athletic team logo and type. An image is below the fold.
"Go team dickwolf! Give me an R! Give me an A! Give me a P! Give me an E! What's that spell…?!"
It's great to see that Gabe and Tycho are making money in the Very Serious and Totally Not Making Fun of Rape Business from the production of t-shirts that effectively read "Team Rapist." If there's one thing I always say about the rape culture, it's: Why can't more men profit from it?
Now, I know some of you humorless hysterics are probably thinking that this t-shirt virtually promotes rape, given that it basically suggests that rape is a fun team sport for all the boys dickwolves to play! But it totes doesn't. Because dickwolves are MYTHICAL CREATURES and you are stupid. This shirt isn't condoning rape, or even treating it like a punchline—hell, no: It's just making fun of hypersensitive survivors and their reactionary allies! Geez.
The more rape jokes Gabe and Tycho make, the more it proves what assholes people who don't like rape jokes are! See?
That's how that works.
Here's how teaspoons work: Kirby Bits, with the help of an Anonymous Graphic Design Genius, is selling a Dickwolves Survivors Guild t-shirt, all of the profits for which will be donated to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. If you would like to donate directly to RAINN, go here.
…You know, one of the things that always hangs with me after these scuffles is how generally everyone involved claims to care about victims of sexual violence, but, when it comes down to it, it's never the makers of rape jokes who create the t-shirts (or whatever equivalent) to raise money for survivors.
Funny, that.
It probably has a little something to do with something else I've observed: Gabe and Tycho defend themselves with pithy admonishments like like "It's possible you read our cartoon, and became a rapist as a direct result. If you're raping someone right now, stop. Apologize. And leave. Go, and rape no more."—as if the thought of one of their readers being a rapist is absurd. Similarly, the "irony" of a "Team Rapist" shirt only works if they believe no one who buys it could possibly be a rapist.
That willful ignorance is perhaps the most basic form of rape apology there is.
Well, I certainly don't know any men who are rapists. Sure. Nobody does. Even though as many as 15% of men (pdf) have, by their own account, attempted and/or committed sexual violence. Even though women are three times more likely to be raped by someone they know than a stranger, and nine times more likely to be raped in their home, the home of someone they know, or anywhere else than being raped on the street, making "acquaintance rape" by far the most prevalent type of rape.
And making it vanishingly unlikely that a dude with lots of dude friends and family members and co-workers and associates doesn't know at least one dude who has attempted or committed sexual violence. (And at least one dude who has been a victim of it.)
Gabe and Tycho maybe never considered that an actual rapist might buy and wear a "Penny Arcade Dickwolves" t-shirt. They probably never considered that a young woman or man, currently only concerned with defending the comic from the onslaught of Hysterics from Nofunnington, could become a victim of sexual violence while wearing the shirt. They might well argue that such scenarios are just overwrought hyperbole, and they don't give a shit about hypotheticals. They might remind me, yet again, that dickwolves are mythical.
Yes. They are. But rape isn't.
One in 33 men. One in 6 women. Many of them multiple times. Those numbers are even higher in places like war zones. Rape is all too real. And there are plenty of rapists who treat it like a goddamn sport.
Somehow, that reality seems to have been lost along the way.
There is indeed a mythical creature worth discussing in this debate, but it is not a dickwolf. It is the person who doesn't know a rapist, whose products will never be purchased by rapists or rape victims, whose rape jokes magically don't perpetuate the rape culture, but exist only in a narrow dimension where the act of rape doesn't exist.
Of course, if rape didn't exist, rape jokes wouldn't either.
Which I suppose would be a grievous loss for the makers of rape jokes.
[Previously: Rape Is Hilarious, Survivors Are So Sensitive, Quote of the Day, Troll Math and Teaspoons.]
I Write Letters
Dear Jodie Foster:
What the hell?
It's not like I've done an official poll or anything, but I'm nonetheless going to assert with some certainty that Mel Gibson is not "truly the most loved man in the film business," nor is he "incredibly loved by everyone that's ever come into contact with him."
Apart from the former partner he abused, I'm guessing Officer Sugartits doesn't exactly fancy him rotten.
Just for a start.
Look, I know you've got a film to rescue ASAP, but that's the chance you take when you do a solid for an old friend who happens to be an unapologetic bigot is that his raving fuckery might stain the red carpet. Cut your losses.
Otherwise, people are going to start thinking you're an asshole who thinks the art created with misogynist, dangerous, abusive men is more important than the reality of the things they've done.
Oh. Right.
Never mind.
Liss
Bob Herbert Says Brilliant Things (Again)
I'm not even going to excerpt it. Just go read the whole thing.
Really, when it comes right down to it, the Obama administration, and, by extension, the Democrats, are failing because trickle-down economics still. doesn't. work.
Bailing out the banks and doing whatever it takes to stop the stock market from going into freefall doesn't materially change the lives of average USians anymore. John Edwards may be an asshole, but he's an asshole who was right as rain about there being Two Americas. And the economies of those Two Americas are increasingly disparate.
What difference does the stock market make to your bottom line when you're hawking your shit on eBay to pay the gas bill at the rental to which you've downsized after losing your home to foreclosure after being laid off from the bootstraps factory?
Until the Democrats understand that reality, they're going to keep failing their most desperate constituency.
And leave room for the GOP to exploit the fear and hatred that breeds in the void of personal security.
More Email from My New BFF
[Trigger warning for antisemitism, Islamophobia, xenophobia, racism, and Christian supremacy.]
As you may recall, my new BFF Tony recently sent me one of the greatest and most well-targeted emails of all time. This morning, I received another awesome missive in my inbox, and I felt it would be the height of selfishness to keep it all to myself.
[Click to embiggen.]
Rarely, I imagine, are Ann Coulter and I on the same mailing lists.
I'm a little jealous that Digby gets to be the "Dem Party-Anti-Christ" and I only get to be "'GOD' Bless America." Harrumph. Although I do have to admit, when I think of Digby, I do think, "She's the best Dem Party-Anti-Christ there is!" So fair enough.
Again, I'd like to compliment my correspondent on the fine targeting of his email. If there's one person who's concerned about our Muslim president's attempts to deport Jesus Christ from America, it's me.
Everywhere I look there is evidence we are about to become a godless society, like: Our Christian president, our last Christian president, their almost exclusively Christian administrations who relentlessly pander to conservative and/or moderate Christians, the almost totally Christian Supreme Court, an almost entirely Christian Congress who start each session with a prayer, the millions and millions of other American Christians whose day of worship is still respected in various state laws across the country (like in Indiana, where you still can't shop for a car or buy booze on a Sunday), whose views are reflected in various federal laws (like denying same-sex couples the right of marriage in order to protect its "sanctity"), whose holidays are also national holidays, whose holy book must be sworn on in state and federal courts, and whose churches are not required to pay taxes, guaranteed freedom of religion, money that says "In God We Trust," a pledge of allegiance that describes us as "one nation under God," television networks who will accept advertising from conservative religious groups but not liberal political groups, schools who are incorporating a religious belief into science classes, conscience clauses for pharmacists and healthcare providers, religion-based residential communities being built, religious museums and amusement parks springing up all over the country, religious leaders being given diplomatic immunity, faith-based initiatives being federally funded, and our national media being constantly embroiled in a debate about in which god the president believes.
We are on the precipice, people!
-------------------
[If you can't view the image, the email reads (in large, oddly-spaced, and randomly-colored text): "Who is taking 'Jesus Christ' out of America? Most Jews that are Politicians are Democrats. Most Muslims that are Politicians are Democrats. We know Obama lied about being a Christian, as Obama is a Lying Racist Muslim. We know Obama and the Liberal Democrats are for Killing Innocent Babies! Was Obama born in Kenya? So who do you think is taking 'Jesus Christ' out of America? It is NOT The Christians! Do you think the Black Panthers believe in and Love 'Jesus Christ'? We Christians know what we must do on November 2, 2010!"]
Oh Noes!
People aren't using rotary phones so much these days, and it's getting hard to tap their conversations! Thank goodness the Obama administration is planning to fix that.
The Overton Window: Chapter Seventeen
Oh, chapter sixteen, how I miss you. You made so much sense. I thought, with you, I understood what was going on. But no. Now I am lost. Chapter seventeen came along and ruined everything with its lack of coherence.
Danny and Kearns are on a private jet, on their way to a meeting with some militiamen. Militiamen intent on committing "a grotesque act of domestic terrorism." Kearns is an undercover agent. Danny is his bait.
I guess this all ties back into those missing nukes. But I thought Darthur's PR firm had those. Is the militia a cover group for Darthur's firm? If so, why do is Danny needed "to lend a crowning bit of credibility to the proceedings"? Suppose the militiamen really are just a bunch of terrorist douchebags intent on setting off a bomb in some U.S. city? Then why is Kearns portrayed as such a douche when his efforts to stop them are pretty fucking noble?
Last chapter, it was pretty clear Kearns was an asshole for coercing Bailey into waiving his rights and turning snitch. In this chapter Kearns is little more than a spoiled doofus.
Stuart Kearns took a pack of Dunhills from one jacket pocket, his lighter from another, then reclined his seat a notch and lit up. He inhaled deeply, then blew a thin white ring of smoke and watched it drift up toward the rounded cabin ceiling.
"What are you doing?"
Danny Bailey had awakened from his nap and was staring at the lit cigarette across the narrow aisle as though he were watching a bank robbery in progress.
"You can still smoke on a charter. On this one, anyway." Kearns extended the pack to him, shook a filter tip halfway out. "Come on, you know you want to."
Come on, you know you want to? Yeah, that's how adults talk to one another. I love how Kearns smokes Dunhills. The only people I ever knew who smoked Dunhills were me and my homo pals (and Liss). I don't think it's an accident that Kearns' brand of choice is an expensive, fashionable brand, rather than Camels or Lucky Strikes. Yeah, he smokes faggy cigarettes and blows smoke rings: what a stooge!
Danny is, of course, all business here. He doesn't cotton to Kearns breaking FAA regulations. Which is odd, for a rabble rouser with such a dislike of The Man and his Rules.
Backstory:
Several years ago, Kearns had the FBI set up a website, www.stuartkearns.com, and began posing as a disgruntled whistleblowing ex-agent. He'd been, according to his cover story, "run out of his job when he'd tried to blow the whistle on some dangerous truths." With his knowledge of Dangerous Truths and access to the FBI's database of Very Bad Things, Kearns became a "household name" in militiamen circles.
Kearns is described here as "ex-fed-turned-Patriot." Interesting, no, the notion that one can't work as an employee of the government, as a federal agent, and be a patriot? Ah, well, maybe that's how the militias see it, and not Beck. Except every character in the book has spent the last 125 pages lambasting every aspect of government.
Anyway...
A new discussion group had formed in a private chat room on the site, under the heading of "Direct Action." The members began to kick around the logistics of the Oklahoma City bombing, Tim McVeigh's attack on the Murrah Federal Building in 1995: what had gone right, what had gone wrong, and the various conspiracy theories still swirling around the event and its aftermath. With some encouragement from the forum leader the discussion evolved—some half-baked plans that would've gotten the job done better, other vulnerable targets, men, methods, and materials. Many dropped out of the conversation as things got more serious, but eight stayed on.
This remaining group progressed to tentative voice chats and then to encrypted e-mail exchanges, all the while inching their way from what had started as a mere discussion toward a solid plot that could actually be executed. Three more anonymous participants eventually got cold feet and dropped out, leaving five people ready, willing, and able to commit a grotesque act of domestic terrorism.
So Kearns lures five people into his fictitious plot to set off a nuke. And now needs Danny to help him close the deal, as it were.
Danny Bailey would be brought along to the first in-person meet-up, to lend a crowning bit of credibility to the proceedings; he was currently the closest thing the Patriot underground had to a national spokesperson. In essence, Bailey would play the Oprah to Kearns's Dr. Phil.
I don't know about you, but these militiamen sound like dopes. They're falling for this? Okay then. Thank maude they're stupid, is all I can say.
Danny isn't too keen on playing along.
"These aren't my people," Bailey said. "You've gotta be kidding me, man, I've never told anybody to do any violence—"
"I've watched your videos, son, and you don't exactly tell them not to, either."
"Aw, come on." Bailey sat back in his seat, shaking his head. "I've got to go over the top just to get people up off the couch. Have any of you guys ever actually read the First Amendment?"
It's nice that there is some rationalization thrown in along the way. All's fair in Patriotism™ and infotainment where the First Amendment is concerned. Good to know, Beck.
Now, the author uses this moment to indulge in some faction. Blending fact, with fiction. Or, pulling-a-Law-and-Order, as we like to call it, ripping off a real news story and passing it off as his own.
Kearns asks if Bailey's ever done any acting. Bailey whips out a photo of himself dressed as Col. Sanders shaking hands with Ali Treki, president of the UN General Assembly.
"That's me." Bailey pointed to the man standing next to him in the photo. "And that's Mr. Ali Treki, the president of the UN General Assembly, receiving an official state visit from the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, who'd been dead for almost thirty years at the time. It was a publicity stunt for my DVD on UN corruption, United AbomiNations. It's sold out, but I'll see if I can get you a copy."
"I'll add it to my Netflix queue."
Except that in real life, this was a publicity stunt pulled by KFC, to promote their new grilled chicken sandwich. I don't know why the author chose to glom onto this factoid and weave it into the fine fabric that is this story. I guess maybe he just liked it.
I'm thinking we'll find out that Hollis sang Chocolate Rain too. Or Noah was the techno Viking. Or Darthur is goatse. Us fans of faction can only hope.
All that would certainly be less confusing than what's actually going on.
Bipartisanny!
What I love (where "love" = an ironic euphemism for "loathe with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns") about the imminent likelihood of a Republican takeover of Congress is how, when the GOP turns up its obstructionist wankery to eleven, the media meme will not be that the GOP is a bunch of petty, do-nothing, unprincipled foot soldiers of the most privileged citizenry, but that President Obama, who has spent the last two years alienating his base trying to win favor with right-learning independents and conservatives, isn't bipartisan enough.
And the Democrats will believe that shit.
