Omega Doom is not the story of a post-apocalyptic hell, so much as it's the tale of a man whose career has gone into the toilet. Rutger Hauer cultivated a fair amount of fame and respect in the early 80s by turning in nuanced performances in films like Blade Runner. But somewhere in the mid-80s he turned a corner. In an effort to become the next big action star, he started doing crappy films with little plot and lots of explosions. It's been all downhill since. Now he's reduced to made-for-cable movies, and shit like this.
I'm not sure how any actor of substance ends up in an Albert Pyun film. Pyun has a reputation not unlike Ed Wood (or Jess Franco) for inflicting nearly unwatchable shit on the viewing public. Personally, I think he's more a Claudio Fragasso-type, lacking the perverted charm of either Wood or Franco, instead reveling in incompetence at a more base level. Which is all the more confounding when you consider that Pyun was once a protege of Takao Saitô. I guess some things just aren't teachable.
There are things about this movie that are unexplainable. For example, the robots' breath hangs heavy in the cold air of the nuclear winter. Why are robots breathing to begin with? I couldn't figure out any logical reason for it. Nor did I understand why there was a robot saloon that served only water. Do robots get thirsty?
Also unexplained is the basic plot. The film is set after a great world war between humans and robots. This is never really made clear in the movie, but that is what it says on the back of the box. Seriously, if you have to rely on box art to explain what's going on, you've failed as a filmmaker.
Not that I am convinced Pyun actually qualifies as a filmmaker. I have come to the conclusion the whole Pyun oeuvre is the result of some sort of money laundering operation. There has to be an international drug cartel or black market arms dealer behind this. Really, it is the only reasonable explanation.
Things start badly. First, there is a quote from a Dylan Thomas poem, which, I think, is supposed to come across as deep and meaningful. But really, it's just silly in a movie about robots, especially a bad movie about robots. Then we're treated to some narration that is, honestly, just plain wrong. I mean, it is incorrect. Our narrator explains how on the last day of the war a robot named Omega Doom (Rutger Hauer) takes a bullet to the head and his memory banks get fried. But, he doesn't take a bullet, no, he gets shot with a laser. That's as plain as day, right there on the screen. Crikey, aren't you even watching what's going on? Two minutes in and the director's already crapped himself.
Cut to some indeterminate time later, and Omega Doom strolls into a Buena Park amusement park. (No, kids, it isn't Knott's Berry Farm, there will be no trip to Camp Snoopy.) Why is this film set in an amusement park? Because, throwing up a sign that says "Ye Olde Europe-land" cleverly masks the fact you've shot your film in Slovakia. What Omega Doom finds in this little makeshift town are two opposing factions of robots.
On one side are the Roms. They're all female, dressed in black with cute little haircuts. Imagine Amelie in the Matrix and you'll get the idea. On the other side are the Droids. They're older models, a bit shabby and look like they've all escaped from a Babylon 5 convention. And just so you don't forget these are robots, despite their breathing and drinking and generally acting human, every time one of them moves, there is a whirring of gears, and as they walk, their feet clunk heavily in the dirt below. When one of them falls down, or gets blown to bits, it sounds like someone is kicking the crap out of a trashcan. Yup, foley work at its finest.
Caught in the middle of this is a servant bot that runs the local saloon, and a decapitated, yet mouthy, robot head known simply as Head. Head serves two purposes. First, he delivers much-needed exposition, explaining to Doom what's going on in the town. Secondly, he is the odious comic relief. He spends much of the movie being kicked around, literally, and when he does find a body his incompatibility makes for wacky antics as he jerks, twitches and generally makes an ass out of himself.
When Doom first meets him, Head is lying on the ground chattering away. It's an effect that is achieved by burying the actor in sand up to his neck, and yes, it looks pretty silly. Head explains that there were once two large factions of robots in the town who've since managed to winnow themselves down to a small handful on either side. They are both looking for a cache of weapons rumored to be buried beneath the amusement park. The plan is to take these guns and use them to wipe out the last of the humans, who are believed to be holed up in Las Vegas.
Presumably, the robots had guns back during the war, but I guess they've all misplaced them, so now they're reduced to throwing Laser Knives™ at one another. At least that's what it looks like they are doing. Almost immediately Doom's Laser Knife Throwing Skills™ are put to the test.
By reattaching Head to a discarded body, Doom has deprived Marko, one of the Droids, of his favourite toy. Two things worth noting about Jahi J.J. Zuri, the actor playing Marko: first, he's the only one in the cast playing up the robot angle, as he walks around stiffly, elbows bent, palms flat. Secondly, he's been in nine movies, all of them directed by Pyun. This tells you all you need to know about Jahi J.J. Zuri, master thespian.
He also seems to be sporting Torque's silver robo-hand from Death Ray 2000.
Doom and Marko square off, having themselves a good old-fashioned Spaghetti Western duel, replete with Leone-type close ups and a pseudo-Morricone score. Instead of six-guns, the two have Laser Knives™ holstered on their hips, and it's your guess which one is quickest on the draw.
With Marko out of the picture, Head is a bit more self-confident, which translates into more wacky antics. Unfortunately, it's like watching Eddie Deezen on crystal, and that just isn't funny. And despite his admonishments to get out of town, Doom enters into an uneasy deal with the Droids.
Doom has agreed to find the treasure, as they keep calling it, and wipe out the Roms while he is at it. Once the plan is under way, Doom meets with the Roms, tells them his plan, but confiding that it's the Droids he's really going to wipe out. Secretly, he plans to wipe them both out. And if this at all sounds familiar, that's because it's the exact plot of A Fistful of Dollars.
So, what we have here is a Spaghetti Western, but with robots instead of cowboys. And once that's established, there isn't a whole lot more about this film to say. The story plays out much as one would expect, with Doom snuffing out his mechanical foes one by one, each kill causing the plot to twist in upon itself in a tightly coiled vortex of intrigue. Well, okay, not really.
Doom does lure one of the Droids to her death, by promising to lead her to the treasure. Doom has also told the Roms to set a trap for the Droid, that way he'll be free to show them where the treasure is. The robots on both sides end up dead, or whatever the mechanical equivalent for death is.
Neither the Droids nor the Roms trust Doom, but their distrust of one another outweighs that, as does their confidence they've each have the upper hand. I was never clear why the robot factions disliked each other so. If the goal of both sides was to wipe out the remaining humans, why didn't they just band together? Whatever motivations may have existed if these groups were human, certainly cannot be found in the robots' programming. Can it? Not logically, no. But then, watching Doom light up a cigarillo like he was Clint Eastwood makes no sense either.
While the story of a buried cache of weapons may by just a rumor, there is at least one person with a gun in town. The barmaid. She found it in the well she dug (you know, so she'd have water to serve to the robots), but thing doesn't have any bullets. Not that anyone knows that. When she starts waving it around, the robots get nervous.
It's up to Doom to save her from the rest of the bots in town who now believe she knows where the weapons are hidden. What isn't clear is why Doom gives a shit to begin with. In A Fistful of Dollars Eastwood had the motivation of money, if he played his cards right, and the opposing families against one another, he'd be able to walk away with everything. Here, Doom has no such incentive.
But, anticipating such a question, the screenwriters have concocted an explanation. It had something to with an old man on a stallion and an outpost of humans hidden somewhere in the mountains. I think. Really, I'm not too sure, it made little sense to me and I hadn't the patience to rewind and figure it out.
Needless to say, Doom snuffs all the Roms out and all the Droids, leaving only Head and the barmaid behind. His job here done, Doom wanders into the sunset and to his next adventure. Fortunately for us, there is no robot version of For A Few Dollars More in the offing.
Directed by Albert Pyun • PG-13 • 1997 • 84 minutes
[Cross-posted.]
Today In Post-Apocalyptic Film Reviews
Daily Dose o' Cute
Video description: Matilda, Olivia, and Sophie check out their canine brother Dudley, who remains totally indifferent to his feline sisters.
The other day, Dudz yakked something up right between my chair and a chair on which Sophie was sitting, and, after he got sick, he looked at me plaintively. I reached out to scratch his head, and Sophie followed suit, touching the top of his head with her wee paw, as if to say, "It's okay. You'll feel better soon."
As always, still pix are below the fold.
Sophie
Olivia
Matilda
Dudley
Texting! With Liss and Deeky!
Liss: Check out this post I wrote in December 2005.
Deeky: K.
Liss: How fucking depressing is that? I was hoping Obama wouldn't get reelected to THE SENATE because he was such a leftwing base-hating jackass. Sob.
Deeky: Jebus. That is depressing.
Liss: *laughs wildly and dies*
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Jail Is Preferable
File this under continued vilification of poor people:
Republican candidate for governor Carl Paladino said he would transform some New York prisons into dormitories for welfare recipients, where they could work in state-sponsored jobs, get employment training and take lessons in "personal hygiene."I don’t think I can fully break down the classist, sexist, and racist stereotypes/myths embodied in sentiments like these, but just to start:
1. Welfare recipients don’t work outside the home and don’t want to do so. Even before welfare “reform” back in 1996, most recipients worked or sought work. I always wonder if people like Paladino have any idea how paltry benefits are.
2. Being poor/needing assistance is some sort of moral failing that requires institutionalization and constant shame. That people seek welfare assistance is particularly “bad” to people like Paladino—the poor are supposed to suffer nobly and silently. As one commenter romanticized:
[B]ack in the thirties young men were ecstatic to get a job and to develop new skills via the Civilian Conservation Corp. But back then, the poor were tough, honorable folk with intact families… Today's poor aren't poor due to the economy, but the result of hand feeding that created and now sustains society breakdown.Recently, problemchylde commented on this mindset:
All rags-to-riches (or rags-to-bitches, if you want to get all Boondocks about it) stories start with people who are poor but industrious. Tales of kids eating cigarette ash sandwiches to survive. Tales of people saving mustard packets so they have food that stretches through the whole year. Bonus points if your parent proudly refuses government help, or if you suffer through and survive a vitamin deficiency. You’re a rock star if you live many years out on the streets and still pull down a 4.0+ GPA. You have done poverty correctly.I’d advise you to read the whole post.
However, if you take what little disposable income you have and buy sushi, you are doing wrong. Poor people do not want things like smartphones (you’re poor; who are you calling on a smartphone?), televisions (you’re poor; what do you need entertainment for?), nice cars (why wouldn’t you get a modest car to get around when you’re poor), or delicious food (do you know how much ramen you could have bought for the cost of that scone?). Poor people should not take any windfalls or nest eggs or scraped together pennies and expose themselves to luxuries. After all, isn’t that just a brutal reminder of how poor they are any other time? Why not just face the fact that poor is what you are, poor is what you shall be, and poor means that you cannot have nice things?
3. Motherwork is not "real" work/not valuable. The only work that is important/deserving of remuneration occurs outside the home. The article quotes Paladino as saying, “Instead of handing out the welfare checks, we'll teach people how to earn their check.” (Emphasis mine)
4. The mothering of poor women, especially poor women of color, is insignificant/not necessary for their children. As I said at that link,
A discourse has developed in this country to support stealing our children away from us that attacks us as immoral, "illegal," or uneducated. [Remember] black children sold away from their mothers and Native children forced into "Indian schools" so they could be "properly" Christianized and Americanized. In fact, Americanizers of the late 19th/early 20th century spent inordinate amounts of time threatening to take immigrant children from their parents, telling immigrant mothers how their methods of child-rearing were substandard to those of more WASP-y Americans, probably as much time as 20th century welfare critics spent convincing themselves that poor black women did not really love or want their children--they only had them to get more out of the system--and as much time as 21st century anti-immigration proponents spend convincing themselves that Latinas don't really love or want their children--they just want anchor babies.If most welfare recipients are single moms and you move them into dormitories, who takes care of their kids? Or do you institutionalize the children as well, under the blanket assumption that the state will do a “better” job of rearing them? As Dorothy Roberts said in Shattered Bonds, "America’s child welfare system is rooted in the philosophy of child saving—rescuing children from the ills of poverty, typically by taking them away from their parents," (p 26). Which brings me to another problematic idea…
5. Poor people need to be institutionalized/under constant government oversight because of their deficient character and abilities. We already know that the state intervenes disproportionately in poor families of color. According to Roberts, "the public child welfare system equates poverty with neglect," (p 27). And as the article noted:
the suggestion that poor families would be better off in remote institutions, rather than among friends and family in their own neighborhoods, struck some anti-poverty activists as insulting.I think “insulting” is too mild a word.
6. Poor people are unclean, all come from disordered homes and, thus, lack social skills. I mean, he’s going to give them lessons in:
“personal hygiene… the personal things they don't get when they come from dysfunctional homes.”Related to the belief in the disorder/dysfunction of all poor homes and communities, Paladino asserts, "These are beautiful properties with basketball courts, bathroom facilities, toilet facilities. Many young people would love to get the hell out of cities." To live in... jails. And see how he emphasizes the bathroom/toilet facilities? As if this is 1910 instead of 2010 and people aren't used to them?
[snip]
“You have to teach them basic things — taking care of themselves, physical fitness. In their dysfunctional environment, they never learned these things”
As an aside, that comment reminded me of Barbara Bush's assertion, after talking to Hurricane Katrina evacuees in Houston, "So many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them." The idea that poor people don't have "real" or worthy communities or family and geographic ties is infuriating.
7. Poor people deserve to have their labor exploited. He’s using prisons to house people to extract low-cost labor. I don’t think this idea is so original.
I'm sure there is more that I could highlight in this disaster of a suggestion, but I think you get the idea.
Today in Rape Culture
[Trigger warning for sexual violence on a mass scale.]
One of the most heinous expressions of a rape culture is the use of rape as a weapon of war—and, as has been previously discussed here, the prevalence and intensity of ongoing, endemic sexual violence against women in Congo has been described as the worst in the world. Hundreds of thousands of women have reportedly been raped in Congo, with sexual violence so widespread that Doctors Without Borders has said "that 75% of all the rape cases it deals with worldwide are in eastern Congo."
This morning, the AP reports that as many as 200 women, and possibly more, were gang-raped by rebels near a United Nations peacekeepers' base in Congo over the course of four days. International aid workers report that Rwandan Hutu FDLR insurgents and Mai Mai militia took over Luvungi on July 30, and occupied the town until August 3, at which point the rebels withdrew voluntarily. A spokesperson for the International Medical Corps says their organization has already treated 179 women.
In Reuters' story on the attack, the spokesperson for the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs is quoted as saying the rebels "raped several women," only to follow that with: "International Medical Corps (IMC) reported that FDLR systematically raped the population during its four-day stay in Luvungi and surrounding areas. A total of 179 cases of sexual violence were reported."
I'm not sure anything more pointedly, and painfully, underlines the scope of what's happening in Congo than a UN worker calling 179 women "several women." Lest one misunderstand that as callousness on the part of the UN, by way of perspective:
Accurate figures for sexual violence are hard to come by as many rapes are unreported but the United Nations said at least 5,400 women reported being raped in neighbouring South Kivu in the first nine months of 2009 alone.Unfortunately, the UN is currently withdrawing peacekeeping troops from Congo, at the request of the Congo government.
Margot Wallstrom, the U.N. special representative on sexual violence in conflict, said in April the withdrawal of U.N. peacekeepers from the country would make the struggle against endemic rape "a lot more difficult".I quite honestly don't know what I can say that I haven't already said before, in a hundred different ways, about the catastrophic devastation to survivors, and to entire nations, when rape is used as a weapon of war, forever changing entire populations of women and girls. Nothing makes me feel more helpless than this.
If you want to help, donate to International Medical Corps here. Donate to International Rescue Committee here. Both groups are working to end sexual violence in Congo and provide much-needed aftercare to survivors of sexual violence, too.
Forced March
The Army is investigating whether soldiers were punished for not attending a Christian music concert.
Fort Eustis spokesman Rick Haverinen told The Associated Press he couldn't comment on the specifics of the investigation. At the Pentagon, Army spokesman Col. Thomas Collins said the military shouldn't impose religious views on soldiers.Putting an end to forcing people to attend religious indoctrination is one of the things we went to war for in Afghanistan. Oh, wait... this was a Christian concert. What could possibly be wrong with that?
"If something like that were to have happened, it would be contrary to Army policy," Collins said.
Pvt. Anthony Smith said he and other soldiers felt pressured to attend the May concert while stationed at the Newport News base, home of the Army's Transportation Corps.
"My whole issue was I don't need to be preached at," Smith said in a phone interview from Phoenix, where he is stationed with the National Guard. "That's not what I signed up for."
Smith, 21, was stationed in Virginia for nearly seven months for helicopter electrician training when the Christian rock group BarlowGirl played as part of the "Commanding General's Spiritual Fitness Concerts."
Smith said a staff sergeant told 200 men in their barracks they could either attend or remain in their barracks. Eighty to 100 decided not to attend, he said.
"Instead of being released to our personal time, we were locked down," Smith said. "It seemed very much like a punishment."
Crossposted.
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, proud distributors of Matilda's Home Brew.
Recommended Reading:
Melanie: On Relief Efforts for Women and Girls in Pakistan
Andy: Support for Marriage Equality, State by State
[TW for the policing of female bodies] Gayle Force: My little strip of stomach is going to make you lose your mind.
[TW for sexual assault] Renee: This, Too, Is Sexual Assault (and Not a Joke)
[TW for demonizing fat bodies] Victora: The Latest in Sizeism
Samantha: Fat Stigma: We know it exists, but what do we do about it?
Leave your links in comments...
Chipping Away at Roe in Virginia...
The Attorney General for the state of Virginia, Ken Cuccinelli, who is anti-choice, is trying to circumvent the general assembly by "issu[ing] a legal opinion allowing greater restrictions on abortion clinics, drawing swift criticism from providers who say it could cause some of the facilities to close."
The opinion, issued late Friday, provides legal guidance for the state Board of Health, and does not require legislative action. But pro-choice advocates accuse Cuccinelli of trying to circumvent the General Assembly, which has considered but failed to pass further restrictions on abortion clinics for at least eight years.Essentially, the opinion redefines abortion clinics as medical-surgical facilities, which would create much higher thresholds in terms of required equipment and space. Clinics have previous been "regulated the same way as offices where patients receive oral or plastic surgery."
"We've been waiting for the attorney general to take on abortion providers and it looks like this is his first pitch,'' said Tarina Keene, executive director of NARAL Pro-Choice Virginia. "These so called regulations are only an attempt to shut down abortion clinics in the Commonwealth of Virginia."
The cost to make the potential changes to meet the requirements of the new designation could put clinics out of business, or cause them to raise their prices, passing on the burden of the new policy to abortion-seeking women.
Keene said if the Board of Health imposes the restrictions, 17 of the 21 abortion providers in the state would most likely have to close their doors.Chip, chip, chip...
Meanwhile, the office of Democratic Senator from Virginia Jim Webb has not issued a press release condemning this overt assault on women's healthcare. The office of Democratic Senator from Virginia Mark Warner has not issued a press release either.
Again, for the twelve millionth or whatever time I ask: Just how fucking stupid do the Democrats think feminist/womanist/pro-choice voters are? Because all the chest-beating about how they're the party that will defend Roe doesn't matter for shit when they evidently don't give a fuck about protecting it from being rendered an impotent statute.
It's frankly bad enough that the Democratic President, leader of an ostensibly pro-choice platform, can't be arsed to make a public statement about these encroachments on the basic bodily autonomy of half the nation's population, but the fact that the two Democratic Senators from the state in which it's happening don't even feel obliged to get one of their lackeys to write up a perfunctory press release is truly appalling.
[H/T to Shaker Museclio.]
B-b-but TRICKLE DOWN!!!!!eleventy!!1!
Krugman, on the Bush tax cuts:
We need to pinch pennies these days. Don't you know we have a budget deficit? For months that has been the word from Republicans and conservative Democrats, who have rejected every suggestion that we do more to avoid deep cuts in public services and help the ailing economy.So...starve the beast, to feed the privileged. Swell.
But these same politicians are eager to cut checks averaging $3 million each to the richest 120,000 people in the country.
What — you haven't heard about this proposal? Actually, you have: I'm talking about demands that we make all of the Bush tax cuts, not just those for the middle class, permanent.
...What's at stake here? According to the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center, making all of the Bush tax cuts permanent, as opposed to following the Obama proposal, would cost the federal government $680 billion in revenue over the next 10 years. For the sake of comparison, it took months of hard negotiations to get Congressional approval for a mere $26 billion in desperately needed aid to state and local governments.
What's the Deal...
(From The Marvel Comics Illustrated Version of The Empire Strikes Back, a copy of which I found while cleaning the garage this weekend.)
[Cross-posted.]
LOL Sure
CNN: 10 things Obama must do in 10 weeks.
I can't decide which is my favorite part: The juxtaposition of "2. Channel Ronald Reagan: Ronald Reagan, known as the 'great communicator,' put communications front-and-center, [David Morey, a communications expert who advised Obama's 2008 campaign] said," with "3. Propagandize the truth: 'There is a great hunger for leaders who can rise above the political pettiness and tell the truth,' Morey said," as if Reagan's communication style was all about telling the truth, or if I prefer the flat hilarity of:
8. Pay attention to independentsYeah, the BUSH STRATEGIST has a great idea there. Obama should definitely alienate his base and chase those Independents.
It's necessary to fire up the base, but the independents are the ones with the power to swing the election.
"You are going to have your Republicans that support the Republican candidates. You are going to have the Democrats that support the Democratic candidates. The question really becomes what is the mood of the independents," [Ron Christie, a Republican strategist who worked in the Bush administration from 2001 to 2004] said.
A Gallup poll released last month showed independents are leaning toward Republican candidates by a 12-point margin.
"The current snapshot has a clear message: Democrats should be afraid, very afraid," John Avlon wrote in a column for CNN.com.
Oh. Wait.
Open Thread
Hosted by a Nelson Coconut Chair. Want.
This week's open threads have been brought to you by Modern chair design.
Random Weekend Nostalgia Sublime
Shakers know, and Shaker love, the Two Minute Nostalgia Sublime, brought to us Monday through Friday by Deeky. But does anyone ever host a musical TMNS in Deeky's honor? No! (At least, uh, not that I remember.)
But wonders* wishes do come true! So herewith, in honor of Deeky's career as a DVD-cover-model-cum-Ernest-Borgnine-impersonator, are Lonzo and Oscar. (Yes! the Lonzo and Oscar!)
"I'm My Own Grandpa"
*Wishes. Wishes do come true. It's on the box, floating alongside one of Deeky's heads and above the other.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Thank Maude
For Strippers Near Ground Zero, It's Business as Usual Amid Mosque Uproar.
Phew.
Thanks for bringing the hard-hitting nooz, Wall Street Journal.
Still kinda racist (rather a lot, really): Mayor Bloomberg
[Trigger warning for violence and racism]
In case you missed it (I did until it came up on the local news just now), Michael Bloomberg still has a problem with people of color.
Here's a 13 August quote from the NYC mayor's radio show, where he talks about the best way to strip the Haudenosaunee of tribal sovereignty (in this case, by collecting state taxes on cigarettes):
"I've said this to David Paterson, I said, 'You know, get yourself a cowboy hat and a shotgun,'...If there's ever a great video, it's you standing in the middle of the New York State Thruway saying, you know, 'Read my lips - the law of the land is this, and we're going to enforce the law."
Ooookaaaaay.
The Seneca Nation is not pleased.
The Bloomberg administration has refused to apologize, on the grounds that they think that New York State has the right to collect taxes from tribal nations. Apparently the whole "we should kill you and take more of your land" metaphor was a given for these guys. No, not racist at all.
