Vintage image of chefjudicator Tom Colicchio, with hair!
Last night's episode will be precisely julienned in this thread, so if you haven't seen it, and don't want any spoilers, pack your knives and go...
Top Chef Open Thread
Vintage image of chefjudicator Tom Colicchio, with hair!
Last night's episode will be precisely julienned in this thread, so if you haven't seen it, and don't want any spoilers, pack your knives and go...
This is an actual campaign ad. Like, actually run on TV.
by Shaker codeman38
Below is a campaign ad for one of the contestants in the Georgia Republican gubernatorial runoff (a true case of "which of these really is the lesser of two evils?" if I've ever seen one):
(Footage of a wheat field against a dark sky is shown, with key words from the narration appearing in the sky.)Yes, this is apparently what's important in politics in Georgia.
NARRATOR: The last straw. For some, it is Karen Handel's support of taxpayer funded gay partner benefits.
(Cut to a closer shot of the wheat.)
For others, the last straw is Karen Handel's vote to give our tax dollars to Youth Pride, a group that promotes homosexuality among teenagers as young as 13.
(Cut to wider shot.)
But for all, the lies Karen Handel tells about Nathan Deal, a veteran, former prosecutor, and judge, to hide what she's done, are the last straw.
And yes, I will confirm, as someone living in Georgia, that this...this thing has actually run on TV. Like, actually during local ad slots on prime time television.
Not to be outdone, Handel—who indeed was once a supporter of gay rights—has herself said some incredibly closed-minded stuff, after having allied with the Tea Party crowd in general and Palin in particular. As she wrote on Twitter in response to the Prop 8 verdict: "sick and tired of liberal judges subverting the will of the people to push their left wing agenda." Apparently she missed the fact that Judge Walker was nominated by none other than Ronald Reagan, and initially blocked by the Democrats.
Of course, this is all a moot point now, as Handel conceded to Deal despite the results of the runoff being "too close to call" according to the AP.
Not that it really affected my decision, of course, as I wasn't voting Republican to begin with.
Pillow Talk with Kate
Me: If we ever have another daughter, we're totally naming her Kate Jr.*
My Partner: LOL, that would piss everybody off.
Me: Yeah.
Cultural Conservatives: You can't do that for a girl! There are no Entertainment Tonight clips of Babe Didrikson Zaharias III drunk and disorderly outside of some club. That's just not how it's done!
Humorless Feminazis: Would it really be too much to ask to give your kid her own identity?
Me and My Partner: Remind us why we sleep with y'all again?
--
*We're totally not.
Rape is Hilarious, Part 53 in an Ongoing Series
by Shaker Milli A
[Trigger warning for rape used in a "humorous" capacity.]
This is why, as a feminist, I barely have a sense of humor.
Yesterday's Penny Arcade,a webcomic centered around video gaming and its culture, featured a joke a lot of World of Warcraft players make, in a sense. In WoW, you'll often get quests like "Kill 10 of these terrible people" or "Save five prisoners". Because the game has millions of players all existing in the world who will do that quest, even if you kill all the bad guys and free everyone, they'll reappear against quickly, so the next person can do their good deeds. It's a silly conundrum if you let your suspension of disbelief lapse.
Penny Arcade took it to another level. In a strip titled, "The Sixth Slave," the comic features a (white, male) slave begging for rescue from another character. "Hero!" he pleads. "Please take me with you! Release me from this hell unending! Every morning, we are roused by savage blows. Every night, we are raped to sleep by the dickwolves." The hero tells him, "I only needed to save five slaves. Alright? Quest complete." The prisoner protests, "But…" The hero interrupts him, "Hey, pal. Don't make this weird."
Rape isn't a part of the game, so for the slave to explicitly state he is being raped is a "humorous" exaggeration. When he hero tells the slave his quest is complete and instructs him not to make it "weird," we're meant to laugh: "Haha, what a strange underreaction!" (Or not.)
When I have a sense of humor, it is a little offbeat. I have liked, for example, Penny Arcade's comics about the numerous times they've killed each other. I have a dark sense of humor, and I'll admit it.
But unlike Gabe killing Tycho so he doesn't have to share a video game, a slave being raped is a real thing that happens in the world every day. I don't find this "joke" funny because, unlike characters cartoonishly killing each other repeatedly and coming back to life, just as in video games, rape isn't a central feature of (most) games—at least in the actual gameplay, totally aside from the language used by players.
The problem is, I just don't find rape funny. Because rape survivors exist among us, and after being victimized by rapists, they are revictimized by a society that treats even real rape like a joke, forced to live in a culture that actually has a lot of rape jokes, including those about rape victims being actively denied justice for no other reason than because people don't take rape seriously. I don't find rape funny because rape victims are often doubted, mocked, and insulted openly.
This is why I avoid comedy. I don't go to comedy movies, I rarely watch comedians, I avoid sitcoms like the plague. I've started to develop a Pavlovian response, cringing preemptively, to things I do find funny, because if somebody makes a dark joke, I've learned it won't be long until the rape jokes show up.
This is why I'm a humorless feminist. Because rape jokes killed my sense of humor.
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[Rape is Hilarious: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Six, Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Eight, Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Eight, Thirty-Nine, Forty, Forty-One, Forty Two, Forty-Three, Forty-Four, Forty-Five, Forty-Six, Forty-Seven, Forty-Eight, Forty-Nine, Fifty, Fifty-One, Fifty-Two.]
Relatively Stupid
The same people who believe the world was created in six days just 6,000 years ago and that evolution is eviloution now think that Einstein's theory of relativity is a liberal plot to get science students to stop reading the Bible.
If you're behind on your physics, the Theory of Relativity was Albert Einstein's formulation in the early 20th century that gave rise to the famous theorum that E=mc2, otherwise stated as energy is equal to mass times the square of the speed of light. Why does Andy Schlafly hate the theory of relativity? We're pretty sure it's because he's decided it doesn't square with the Bible.He doesn't offer any proof of his anecdote, but then again, if we doubt him, we're just a bunch of liberal non-believers.
[...]
"Virtually no one who is taught and believes relativity continues to read the Bible, a book that outsells New York Times bestsellers by a hundred-fold."
The proof that the theory of relativity is bunk is in the Bible, of course; John 4:46-54 wherein Jesus performs a miracle via long-distance, proving that he can travel faster than light.
Next up: Gravity is only a liberal theory; it's really intelligent falling.
(Cross-posted.)
Question of the Day
Bonus Cute
Dudley and his friend Bella, who's an absolutely adorable Boxer mix with one of the all-time great doggy grins, engaged in some sort of important investigation at the dog park.
Bella:Dudz::pilot fish:shark.
Number of the Day
49. The percentage of USians who believe same-sex couples "have the constitutional right to get married and have their marriage recognized by law," according to a new CNN/Opinion Research Corporation Poll.
And when the same respondents were asked a slightly different question—not whether the Constitutional right already exists, but whether it should—that number jumps up to 52%.
The will of the majority, Shakers.
Gibbs Doubles Down
Wow. Just wow:
[White House press secretary Robert Gibbs] disputed the idea that liberals would stay home on Election Day out of anger with him.So: Gibbs intended to call liberals drug-addled ingrates, even if "inartfully," and he was accurately representing a widely-held and oft-expressed administration view that just hasn't been put on the record until this point.
"I don't think they will [stay home], because I think what's at stake in November is too important to do that," he said.
When asked if he had put his foot in his mouth or intentionally teed off on liberal commentators, Gibbs opened his mouth to show reporters at the briefing that there was no foot in there.
"I think I have both my feet firmly planted on the floor and nothing in my mouth to speak of," Gibbs said.
..."I think many of you all have heard frustration voiced in here and around," Gibbs said. "I doubt I said anything that you haven't already heard."
Further, he doesn't give a fuck what we think about that because the Republicans are so much worse that we'll just suck it up and vote for the Dems anyway.
Truly amazing. Breathtaking, really.
And note that the president is evidently fine with all that, since Gibbs also noted during today's presser in response to a question about his job security: "I don't plan on leaving." All righty then.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
[Background.]
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Sad Fatties
[Trigger warning for images of violence and for fat hatred. Video is mildly NSFW, with some brief female nudity.]
Shaker Julie forwarded me the below advertisement for the weight loss drug, Xenical, which appears to be a real advert, although I can't determine it's actually running anywhere at the moment. (Let us fervently hope it is not.) Previously, Xenical ran ads so objectionable in Canada that it prompted the Canadian Women's Health Network to write a letter of complaint to the Minister of Health. Xenical is known in the US as "Ally."
Voiceover (in accented English, over gauzy images, treated to look like vintage footage, of a thin white woman in various scenes, like as a nun, cradling a wounded soldier, or as a blindfolded soon-to-be-victim of a firing squad, sporting a drawn-on mustache, interspersed with random images like a bloodied knife or a pink rose): I'd like to do all the things most people just read about: Know real love and real fear, walk naked in the winter snow and in the summer tide, to play like a child, to think as a martyr, to make love to [a] stranger, taste sin and purity at the same moment in time, to be as a lamb in a den of wolves. (woman holds up silver hand mirror) But first (the image cuts to an extreme close-up of a white female face) I would just like to tie my own shoes. (ominously, the camera slowly pulls back, revealing a fat woman sitting on a bed, looking miserable, which fades to the onscreen text: "Lose weight. Gain life.")This reminds me of the advert for the Realize Adjustable Gastric Band we discussed here, which also relied on the truly absurd premise that all fat people live terrible, unfulfilling, limited lives because they're SO FAT.
Some fat people do live terrible, unfulfilling, limited lives, and in some cases it may be because they're fat—or because they've got shame, anxiety, and/or rigidly self-imposed boundaries in response to endemic cultural fat hatred. I do not want to disappear those experiences. But those experiences are not, as the above advert (and the similar Realize advert) would have us believe, universal among fat people.
I have known real love and real fear (don't even get me started on romanticizing fear as an experience all humans should have); I have gone skinny-dipping in Lake Michigan (and I've no interest in walking naked in the winter snow, but my fat wouldn't stop me if I did); I have fucked a stranger; blah blah blah. I can also tie my own shoes.
I've also traveled to other continents, lived in another country, ridden roller coasters, gone horseback riding, hiked through the Highlands, been rollerskating and bowling and golfing and rockclimbing and biking, gotten married, gotten divorced, gotten married again, had personal and professional achievements, had personal and professional failures, made friends, lost touch with friends, learned how to cook and tapdance and play piano and milk a cow, played endless video games, wrote a book, rode an elephant, went to prom, went to university, went to Niagra Falls, went to a taping of the Drew Carey Show (don't ask), went to Disneyland, went to Disney World, went to Sesame Place, went up in the Statue of Liberty, went up in the Arch, threw up in a brewery in St. Louis, pet a giraffe, bought a house, sold a house, bought another house, struggled financially, splurged stupidly, acquired a disability unrelated to my fat, and a second, visited 44 of the 50 states, watched a calf being born, saw The Matrix: Reloaded in IMAX from the first goddamn row, attended hundreds of rock concerts, got drunk, got high, got sick, got knocked down, got back up again, and flown a kite. That's not a definitive list. Still. All these things I have done, often in the company of other fat people—and I am a fat person.
See? Double chin and everything.
It turns out, lots of fat people live full lives just fine. And we're probably more keenly conscious of the act of living life than lots of thin people, because we're constantly reminded that we're doing so in direct contravention of the expectation that we should be sitting at home on our beds looking sad.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: It remains a radical act to be fat and happy. If you're fat, you're not only meant to be unhappy, but deeply ashamed of yourself, projecting at all times an apologetic nature, indicative of your everlasting remorse for having wrought your monstrous self upon the world. You are certainly not meant to be bold, or assertive, or confident—and should you manage to overcome the constant drumbeat of messages that you are ugly and unsexy and have earned equally society's disdain and your own self-hatred, should you forget your place and walk into the world one day with your head held high, you are to be reminded by the cow-calls and contemptuous looks of perfect strangers that you are not supposed to have self-esteem; you don't deserve it. Being publicly fat and happy is hard; being publicly, shamelessly, unshakably fat and happy is an act of both will and bravery.
Fuck off, Xenical. I'm fat and happy.
Discussion Thread: "I Love the Way You Lie" Video
[Trigger warning for imagery, lyrics, and discussion featuring domestic violence.]
[Lyrics available here.]
The above video is for the new single from Eminem's most recent album. The song features vocals by Rihanna, who was famously assaulted by then-boyfriend Chris Brown. And, of course, Eminem has regularly sung about domestic violence, often from the position of a perpetrator, wishing violence against his ex-wife and mother.
The video itself features Eminem and Rihanna singing in front of a house on fire, interwoven with scenes of Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox, playing a couple who inhabit the fiery house with their fucked-up relationship that is a combustible mix of love, hate, fucking, fighting, dependence, contempt.
Okay, so. There's a lot to deconstruct about this video, and I'm not even sure where to begin to parse it all, which is why I'm opening it up as a discussion thread. My two primary thoughts after first watching the video, however, were these:
1. While this is a narrative (the quality and efficacy of which is debatable) broadly about "domestic violence," it looks less like a classic domestic violence narrative in which there is one clear abuser and one clear victim of abuse, and more like an abuser's fantasy that reimagines the relationship as a mutually abusive relationship with passion that burns so hot there's a thin line between love/hate, fight/fuck, etc. "Can't live with you; can't live without you." Which is not to say those relationships don't exist in the world, but I'm not sure they're as common as our media suggests they are.
2. I'm trying to imagine watching this as a, say, 15-year-old girl, long before I had the tools to critique it, and before I had any relevant experience to the subject matter. I imagine I would have found it less an admonishment against violence than a suggestion that this is what real love is like, because I was raised in a culture that constantly suggests that is so. And respect is boring.
Discuss.
[Commenting Guidelines: Naturally, everyone's reaction to this video will be different, and please be respectful of other people's opinions. Even survivors of abuse will have different reads on it. We can debate and disagree while simultaneously acknowledging the validity of individual opinions.]
Local News
Local Paper: Schumer in Syracuse promotes $600 million bill to secure Mexican border
At first I was confused. Was Syracuse being overrun by Buffalo Bread Bites from Paulanjo's up on State Route 104? Oh, Mexico the country. Right. Pressing issue up here near the Canadian frontier.
Approved unanimously? WTF?!? That's kinda messed up.
If the House approved this unanimously and it's going to sail through the Senate, it hardly strikes me as a major accomplishment that Schumer can take credit for. I mean, what's with the dog-and-pony show about punishing Indian companies so that we can afford to punish people from Mexico (the country)?
Oh yeah. Election in November. Election in November. Election in November. That explains a lot.
Random YouTubery: Justin Bieber and Spaghetti Cat
Video paraphrase and transcript: A terribly photoshopped image of Justin Bieber and Spaghetti Cat in a hot-air balloon appears terribly photoshopped into still images of various places around the world, including the White House, Mt. Everest, the Sphinx, Mt. Rushmore, the Taj Mahal, Big Ben, The View, Phil Spector's trial, an NBA game, Endor, Smurf Village, the Moon, and over the moonlight ocean whence is emerging seven white unicorns.
Over the images, in the style of a cartoon theme song, a cartoony voice sings: "Justin Bieber and Spaghetti Cat / Flying in a helium balloon / Solving mysteries around the world / Make way for adventure—they will be here soon! / Fightin' crime and havin' fun / Got the bad guys on the run / When one caper's over and done / A new one has begun! / Justin Bieber and Spaghetti Cat / Flying in a helium balloon / Yes, this is their cartoon!"
Followed by, in the style of a thwarted Scooby-Doo criminal: "Curses! Foiled again by the meddling cat and boy!"
Quick Question
Let's say you are a sewist and textile lover who has declared a moratorium on fabric-buying (whether or not you have achieved SABLE). Further, let's say a fabric turns up that has Sneetches on it. And also The Lorax. Surely this event voids the moratorium, doesn't it? Doesn't it?
Especially if you have a five-year-old Sneetch-adoring niece with a birthday coming up, right? The undeniable fact that she has enough stuff already notwithstanding?
*backs slowly away from Fabric dot com*
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, publishers of Conniving & Sinister: The Story of Two Boring Assholes Who Mind Their Own Business.
Recommended Reading:
Veronica: Latina Week of Action for Reproductive Justice
[TW for rape apology] In Theorem: Sunday Morning Rape Apology
Andy: Costa Rica's High Court Protects Minority, Blocks Referendum on Gay Civil Unions
Angry Asian Man: Changing Lives, One Greeting Card at a Time
[TW for sexual harassment] Anna: Boss Fired for Helping Harassment Victim
Charlotte: This is what a fat activist looks like.
Leslie: no access = disability [Click on the image to be taken to a larger image in Leslie's photostream, with more explanation of the image. H/T to Eastsidekate.]
Leave your links in comments...
So this lady wants to marry some guy
The BBC is reporting that a woman in Hong Kong is trying to marry her boyfriend.
Okaaaaaaaaay....
The issue is that doctors declared the woman in question, who we'll call "W" (because her lawyer didn't give the BBC her name) to be a boy back when she was in the hospital following her birth. Ergo, the government is under the impression that she and her boyfriend are both men.
Her lawyer isn't pressing that same-sex marriage should be legal, because, well, you know, this doesn't directly involve same-sex marriage.
I think it's pretty obvious that the ultimate solution to this situation is to make marriage between any consenting adults legal (along with, say, respecting trans people's identities). More radically, one might abolish government recognition of marriage altogether, and give everyone the right to control their household(s). But have you tried either of those lately? That shit takes forever.
Homophobic and transphobic societies put people like W and I in very nasty corners. I'm sure there are GL(b) activists reading this story who are angry that W isn't fighting with them, but I hardly see how W has any more of an obligation to fight for gay rights than any other person in a heterosexual relationship.
This brings us to my partner and I, who were married despite both being ladies who lived in Wisconsin, where that sort of thing isn't cool.
Here's the deal: governments don't want transsexual people to marry anyone, or to exist at all. We're kinda a pain that way. I mean, the woman at the county clerk's office didn't want to issue us a marriage license because 'Sir, your driver's license is fraudulent', I hardly think she was ready to let me marry a man.
Even when transsexual people do marry people of a different gender in places where same-sex marriage is illegal, [TW: transphobia and violence]challenges to their marriages can come at any time. This hardly makes trans peoples' marriages equal to those involving two cis people.
I'm not sure what my point is. I guess I'm just tired. My identity, and that of my trans family seems to be the keystone of just about each and every one of society's battles about sexuality. Often I hear people say that this means that we should be at the forefront of each and every one of these battles. I suppose I try, but that, my friends, is tiring.
