Riffing on yesterday's QotD...
Which word or phrase do you find yourself frequently misusing?
Or found yourself frequently misusing until some generous soul had the sense and kindness to gently correct you, lol.
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, makers of Chef Deeky's Giant Oven Mitts.
Recommended Reading:
[TW] Cara: For Some Kenyan Women, Toilet Use Means Sexual Violence
[TW] Echidne: Domestic Violence Incident
Andy: Read: The U.S. Army's Not So Comic Book on 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'
Helen: A poor dude cleaning with a mop / puts all Heaven in a strop.
Racebending [via]: Paramount Pictures – Diversity in the 21st Century?
Rachel: Help Stamp Out Fat Hate Groups on Facebook
Leave your links in comments...
Updated 3:45 CST/20:45 GMT
The Syracuse Post-Standard now reports that the Iroquois Nationals will be in New York yet another night. The UK has still not issued visas. It is also not clear to me what the status is of visas for members of the party born in or near Canada.
--
To update my post from yesterday, The Syracuse Post-Standard just reported that the U.S. State Department has decided to allow members of the Iroquois Nationals lacrosse team to use their own passports to re-enter the United States. Assuming that the team can get British visas in the next few hours, the team is set to leave for Manchester to play the opening match of the 2010 World Lacrosse Championships tomorrow night.
[*ETA: The working solution involves a one-time waiver, not indefinite acceptance of tribal passports.]
[Trigger warning for reproductive coercion.]
This article, about men who desperately want to become fathers and the horrible bitches who won't bear their offspring on demand, is like a case study in privileged entitlement. If it weren't so painful, it would be laughable to read, for example, Neil Kirwan—a man married to a woman not ready to have children because she was just made partner at her job—asserting, "We're in an ideal position to have kids. Financially secure—we've even got a four-wheel drive family car," as if both of them wanting children isn't required before they are genuinely in "an ideal position to have kids."
With so little regard for his wife's agency, it's no wonder Kirwan is escalating to reproductive coercion:
Neil's continuing to hope that Fiona will change her mind.Financial security, a family car, a bouncing baby, and a wife who was bullied into parenthood by her abusive spouse—if that doesn't describe every little boy's dream of a complete life, I just don't know what does.
"I'm putting pressure on her to stop taking the Pill and to leave the situation to fate," he admits. "I know it's a decision we've got to make together, but I don't want to be an old dad. A baby would make my world complete."
For those of you who don't follow the career of U.S. Representative Michelle Bachmann (R- uh-roh), I envy you. Also, I feel compelled to pass along the latest:
Reporting on Rep. Bachmann's speech at the Western Conservative Summit, the Colorado Independent says:
[Rep. Bachmann quoted founding father John Jay,] 'We are determined to live free or not at all. And we are resolved that posterity shall never reproach us with having brought slaves into the world,’... ending her reading with the statement, 'We will talk a little bit about what has transpired in the last 18 months and would we count what has transpired into turning our country into a nation of slaves.' Emphasis mine.
by Shaker WhimsyMacabre, an Arizona resident who totally misses Janet Napolitano, an artist specializing in assemblage, collage, and jewelry, a Mama to two lovely boys, and the partner of a swell guy who not only brings home lovely bits of rusty junk with which to make art, but wouldn't describe himself as "macho" without a large cash bribe.
Hey, Shakers! So, the other day I discovered a big, greasy lump of mansplaining, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal! And I shared it with Melissa, because I am all generous like that. And since she is all generous like that too, she asked if I would like to pass it on to you! How could I refuse?
Now first off, I have to say that, much like Butch Pornstache, I am no fan of Twilight. I'm not just jumping on the hater bandwagon; I have read it the first two books in their entirety, and the third one about halfway through before I screamed and chucked it across the room like it was on fire. Craptastic writing aside, it is saturated with all sorts of creepy, patriarchal grossness, not to mention a bunch of totally subtle, and not at all obvious Mormon argle-bargle.
I do understand why this doo-doo is so appealing to so many—the Mary Sue lead character, the whirlwind romance, the breathless declarations of eternal devotion, the idea of two dreamboats who both long for you, and only you...it isn't hard to figure out, especially for anyone who has ever been a teenage girl. I get it, and I probably would have been one of those screaming, flush-cheeked, hormone saturated "Twi-hards" had I been born about 20 years later. In fact, I am sure I would have.
* shuffles feet around in an embarrassed manner *
Of course, none of that alters the fact that the whole series is cat doots. (And I know from cat doots.)
But check this out! It is wisdom! Manly wisdom, from an extremely wealthy dude who actually describes himself as "macho" no less than three times, and who wants us all to know that he has been "caught in a vortex of meteoric movement in every aspect of life and that has intensified on a cosmic scale the last few weeks." You had no IDEA that being a real estate tycoon was so very, very much like being a deity, or at the very least a mythological figure along the lines of Heracles, did you, you obsequious peon? DID YOU? You know better now.
Behold!
I have had an agonizingly tough couple of weeks and have survived on pure adrenaline in the midst of tumult, controversy, tough negotiations with business counterparts, and a grueling travel itinerary that was challenging even for me. One of the recent meetings was in Turkey with our Mars partners. I made arrangements to have a bit of yacht time with them. When the meeting got cancelled I did the unthinkable for me, have a little down time all to myself. I boarded the gorgeous but stark Turkish Gulet right as the sun was setting. As I made my way into the main cabin I saw something so frightening it left me speechless. There, staring up at me from the ebony coffee table was a book. On the cover was a gorgeous red apple nestled between two soft and caring hands. Between the hands were written the words that strike terror in the hearts of every macho, red-blooded male…TWILIGHT. AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!! Alone, on a boat, with no wifi, no satellite, no magazines, no newspapers, just me and this book. This piece of chick lit, teeny bopper heartthrob stuff. Terror on the high seas! I wanted nothing to do with any of it. Not relevant, not interesting.
What is it that makes Stephanie Meyer a "total genius" in Mr. Macho's estimation? The ability of the reader to put herself in Bella's place, as Bella's character is so underdeveloped. I only have one thing to say about his amazing discovery: Holy crap, you figured that out all alone on your yacht with no help whatsoever? Talk about "conquering new frontiers and new themes on a daily basis"!
As I sat there with nothing to do the book kept taunting me. I began to think that there must be something I don’t understand. What could it be? What is it all about? Women don’t just read these books, they live them. They become each paragraph. I picked it up, but then immediately dropped it like a hot coal. What if someone saw me reading this? My macho reputation would be finished! I would be kicked out of the bench press section of the gym. My polo compadres would send me packing to the pony rides and my surfing buddies would exile me to the kiddie pool.
But it was a long night and there was absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING else to do. Long story short – not only did I read Twilight, I read the other two as well!! I was fascinated, captivated even. However, what intrigued me was not the same thing that hooked the millions of women whose lives and had been changed by this series, but something else entirely.
For you male Colonists, here is a brief synopsis. Stubborn teenage girl meets a handsome but moody vampire and against all odds they fall in love.
Here is my macho take – Stephanie Meyer is a total genius.
BTW, here is a quote from the genius author herself: "[I] left out a detailed description of Bella in the book so that the reader could more easily step into her shoes." Seriously. This isn't a new concept. I guess being a tycoon doesn't leave much time for reading genre fiction. Which is a big reason I am glad to be an artist instead, despite the appalling lack of yachts.
But Twilight doesn't just give Mr. Macho new insight into common literary techniques. No—it also gives him new insight into women!
I definitely got that the "anticipation" was much more romantic and sexy than the "consummation" to the woman. Slow, patient, caring, tender…. (guys have you heard those words before?) I found him incredibly appealing as he was taking care of Bella, putting her first, distancing himself from her to protect her and yet never being able to get her out of his mind. The relationship stood the test of time through many years, other men, family challenges and misconceptions of valiant and loving acts. A human relationship with a vampire is challenging on many levels, the least of which being you get older as your partner remain timeless. It was enticing, captivating, alluring…and dangerous. Through it all she believed that she could do it…. change her life… change his life…make it different…in spite of what conventional wisdom dictated.
This is some serious mansplaining. This macho genius has the ladies all figured out now that he has lowered himself to reading Twilight! Which, let us recall, he read not because he had gotten in touch with his feminine side; that would be icky, and his surfing and polo playing buddies would laugh and throw tampons at him! Or something. No! It was because one night he was soooooo bored on his luxury yacht! Which makes my married-to-a-guy-who-just-got-laid-off heart bleed for him, truly.
Every woman longs for the anticipation, the romance, the journey, the taboo, the patience, and the attentiveness. Men, however, are all about the destination, the result, the speed and the outcome. The journey is merely penance to get to the destination. Which is why despite the vampires and werewolves, this book is kryptonite to most men.
…Once I ventured into the books I learned something. I now understand why some women are emotionally altered from merely reading a book. I have also gained a deeper realization that understanding the circumstances and points of views of those with whom we are negotiating, working, living, loving or fighting is the key determinant factor in an enduring relationship.
So this is the astonishing revelation about the lady brains has Twilight bestowed upon him: "Every woman longs for the anticipation, the romance, the journey, the taboo, the patience, and the attentiveness."
And this the companion revelation about men: "Men, however, are all about the destination, the result, the speed and the outcome."
What we have learned from Mr. Cosmic Real Estate Agent, then, is that all women—every single one of us—long for the same thing, which is apparently to be wooed in a manner that bears a sneaking resemblance to being pursued by a stalker. An attentive, patient, dead stalker. Who is also romantic. Ladies do not even think about the possible results of said pursuit, or if they do, it is in some kind of fuzzy, soft-focus manner, with billowing white curtains and the surf sighing away in the distance. Results are for penis-havers, who want to get to their desired outcome with all speed. Because that is macho.
Now, some silly womenfolk may get it into their heads that maybe sex (when you finally get there) with a manly man who is "all about the destination, the result, the speed, and the outcome" might not be quite worth all that anticipation. Some of them might even decide that macho is something that straight ladies looking for love should avoid like asbestos. Just a thought.
Hey, here's another thought: I wonder why it is that " None of the 21 senior-management executives and six of the 30 'other senior executives' listed on [Mr. Macho's company] website are women." That's a real head-scratcher.
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If you would like to read a breakdown of the whole Twilight thing that won't make you want to vomit, I recommend the very comprehensive one written by Cleolinda at Occupation: Girl. You can find it here.
A Labyrinth trailer from 1986:
VO: "Jim Henson's puppets, George Lucas' laser beams and David Bowie's God-given ass finally unite for the awesomest movie since Dark Crystal." Jennifer Connelly spends the next minute and a half running around an M.C. Escher painting while being chased by David Bowie and about nine thousand muppets. "Labyrinth: Coming June 27th!"
In his attempt to get elected to office, Congressional candidate Ed Martin takes to the airwaves to give new meaning to "lowest common denominator." Using the tried and true strategy of fear, combined with unwavering devotion to Christ, he delivers quite an astonishing message to his prospective constituents:
One thing I like to say is: America is great, not because of our genetics. We're great because we created a place and space where people can be free. And they can choose Christ, they can choose to be faithful. They can worship, and they find their way to the Lord. And -- or some of them don't. We sure want them all to, but some of them don't.Now, if I read this right, it sounds like Ed is saying that Obama is actively inhibiting everyone's ability to become a Christian.
And part of that freedom -- when you take a government and you impose, and take away all your choices. One of the choices you take away is to find the Lord. And find your savior.
And that's one of the things that's most destructive about the growth of government. It's this taking away that freedom. The freedom -- the ultimate freedom, to find your salvation, to get your salvation. And to find Christ, for me and you.
And I think that's one of the things that we have to be very, very aware of that the Obama Administration and Congressman Carnahan are doing to us.
by Shaker Anitanola
[Trigger warning for scenes and descriptions of consensual play violence.]
I started to write a note to Liss just because I thought the video was fun and this is what happened. This gulf thing is breaking my heart so I was very glad to have this to think about instead. You know how I love roller girls.
(TW for Polanski, and for the usual coy refusal by news media to acknowledge the existence of rape in favor of referring to "sex" which might conceivably be of the not very nice kind, but who's to say, certainly not us)
From msn.com:
Roman Polanski's lawyers have issued a statement calling for an investigation into the U.S. refusal to provide requested evidence to Swiss authorities in his 33-year-old sex case.The evidence the Swiss government had been refused was sealed testimony given earlier this year by a former prosecutor, to be used in a future hearing in case the elderly man was not then available.
The one-page statement released Tuesday in Los Angeles made no personal reference to Polanski or his reaction to Monday's ruling freeing him from Swiss custody.
It was the first defense comment since the Swiss refused to extradite Polanski to the U.S.
The attorneys asked for the appointment of a commission by the California governor or attorney general to look into possible official misconduct in the 1977 case
They said the Los Angeles County district attorney purposely withheld the material sought because it would have undermined the extradition request. They refused further comment.
The Swiss could not have found a smaller hook on which to hang their hat.So, in this latest volley issued by Polanski's attorneys, calling for the impoverished state of California to appoint a special commission to investigate the refusal by its court system to allow its functions to be taken over by the Swiss government, do we smell a potential lawsuit on behalf of the poor, victimized Polanski, or merely a self-satisfied rubbing of the noses of those attempting to bring him to justice in their failure to do so?
We've done this one before, but not for almost two years now...
Which frequently misused word or phrase is like nails on a chalkboard every time you hear it being misused?
This isn't a question about mispronunciations or malapropisms or incorrect grammar. It's about a real word or phrase that just gets used in the wrong way, e.g. the use of literally to convey totality or emphasis, as opposed to the opposite of figuratively.
The one that always makes my teeth grind is when someone uses "begs the question" to mean "raises the question," instead of its actual meaning, which describes the logical fallacy of circular reasoning—the sort of argument that looks like a snake eating its own tail.
[Trigger warning for violence and victim-blaming.]
Not content to merely defend Mel Gibson because, hey, they're friends—and who needs principles when you've got big-time pals like Melly-boy?—today Goldberg used the platform afforded her by The View to go on the attack against Gibson's victim and former partner Oksana Grigorieva, detailing her angry suspicions about why Grigorieva released the tapes instead of going to the police.
Which, it should be noted, is not even accurate. Grigorieva was issued a restraining order against Gibson on June 21, more than a week before the first of the recordings was made public. But, even if Goldberg were right, and the release of the tapes predated the restraining order, it wouldn't be the first time a survivor of violence and harassment, especially in cases where the perpetrator is a powerful and/or famous man, had to go public with evidence in order to shame the cops into taking the accusations seriously.
Whoopi Goldberg: You know what? Thank god none of us are going through it. [murmurs of agreement from the rest of the panel] Do you know what I mean? There but for the grace of god go we, and, you know, I've gotten a lot of— [Joy Behar says something] Sorry?
Behar: I wouldn't be in that position. I don't—I don't really identify with this at all.
Sherri Shepherd: But maybe not that one particular position, but—
Goldberg: Well, maybe not, but—maybe you wouldn't hit somebody and you wouldn't allow someone to hit you—
Behar: That's right.
Goldberg: You wouldn't tape somebody yelling at you on the phone. People tape stuff, I mean, it's going on and on and on—
Behar: No, I would do that. If I were in her position, I would have done the exact thing …
Elizabeth Hasslebeck: She's smart to do that. I think it empowers the woman.
[crosstalk; Shephard is siding with Goldberg and Hasselbeck with Behar]
Goldberg: But then why not just take it to the police and say, "This is what's happening"… Why is it, why is it at the top… [crosstalk] See, this is the thing that bothers me, and it bothers me whenever anybody does it: If there's a beef, take it to the cops! To the people who can take care of it. To release it and—
Behar: She got a restraining order.
[crosstalk; Shephard is still siding with Goldberg and Hasselbeck with Behar]
Shephard: Why do they have these tapes?
Goldberg: Well, that's my question!
Hasselbeck: It's also reported, too, and no one knows if this is true, that there was money offered to her to not say anything that was going on, so you have to understand, money is also power and can be used as a weapon, and if he indeed was using it to try to muffle her—right?
Goldberg: Listen, nobody knows that better than me! Nobody knows that better than me! But if somebody's kicking your behind, and punching you in the face while you're holding your kid, and you don't go to the cops FIRST, you go to f— Radar Online! [laughter as Goldberg covers her mouth because she almost let slip an f-bomb]
Clay Aiken: I'm a little scared of you right now!
Goldberg: We've gotta move on!
[crosstalk; Behar and Hasselbeck are not letting it drop]
Behar: —restraining order!
Hasselbeck: New tapes were just released this morning—
Behar: It's not that she didn't cover herself. She got a restraining order.
Goldberg: But WHEN did she get the restraining order? And how long have these tapes—
[crosstalk; Aiken looks like he wants to vomit all over the table]
Hasselbeck: Well, we'll all find out because it's all gonna be in the police report pretty soon.
Goldberg: Yeah, that's what I'm waiting for.
"We consider [birth control] an elective drug. Married women can practice periodic abstinence. Other women can abstain altogether. Not having sex doesn't make you sick."—Deirdre McQuade, assistant director for policy and communications at the Conference of Catholic Bishops' Secretariat of Pro-Life Activities.
Quoted in a piece by Dana Goldstein about "The Coming Birth Control Battle: Health-care reform raised the possibility that birth control could soon be free for most women. But not if conservative activists have their way."
