Hosted by Sammy Davis, Jr.
Question of the Day
Where would you like to retire to?
I think, if i had my druthers, when it came to retire, I'd head to Prague. It's European, without being Paris (nothing against Parisians), it's smaller, but not provincial. It's got great architecture, and history and it's run head-on into the modern world. That's sort of typified by this photo I snapped while there:
You've Done It Again, Bachmann
Award-winning Professor of Smartology and Minnesota Congressperson Michele Bachmann is taking our Treasury Secretary and President to task for their devious plan to embrangle the US in a global economy which is "one short step to joining political unity and then you would have literally, a one world government."
President Obama is trying to bind the United States into a global economy where all of our nations come together in a global economy. I don't want the United States to be in a global economy where, where our economic future is bound to that of Zimbabwe. I can't, we can't necessarily trust the decisions that are being made financially in other countries.She's so right. Thank Maude that a global economy in which our economy is affected by events outwith our borders doesn't already exist!
Now, about that plan to stop other countries sending us their goddamn weather...
Rinse. Repeat.
[Trigger warning for clergy abuse and joking about rape.]
Some dingaling with buttplugs for brains* writes a glib comment about a priest who allegedly "inappropriately touched" women and girls for as long as four decades:
This is sad to say, but it's almost refreshing to read about a priest accused of good, old-fashioned heterosexual perviness.Ho ho ho.
The dreadful stuff between priests and boys has been going on for so long that I almost forgot that some priests have more mainstream sexual hangups.
Again, I say, it's time for a married priesthood.
There's so much wrong there in those three short sentence, I could spend the next two hours unpacking all the rape culture narratives that got pinged—that sexual assault is just "perviness," that sexual assault of women/girls is just a "mainstream sexual hangup," that priests who target children exclusively target boys or girls, that if we don't hear about female victims there must not be any, that there's such a thing as "good, old-fashioned" sexual assault, that married men don't sexually assault anyone, etc. etc. etc.—but what's most disturbing is the author's contention that it could be "refreshing" to read about the sexual assault of women/girls (or anyone else) for any reason.
Of course you already know what happens next, don't you?
People with a modicum of decency quite rightly call out the columnist for his incomprehensibly flippant remark.
Columnist responds with classic non-apology, which wouldn't even be necessary if survivors and/or anti-rape advocates weren't such humorless assholes:
If you have to explain humor, it has failed. My attempt here at some sardonic humor has obviously failed with a number of readers. I apologize. No offense was intended -- except toward pervy priests of any persuasion.See, the thing is, jokes that diminish the gravity of sexual assault don't offend predators; they offend victims. Perpetrators are perfectly happy to have torpid, incurious, disconnected wankstains perpetuate an environment in which they can create more victims every day, because we can't be bothered to take sexual assault seriously.
------------------------------
* With my apologies to buttplugs.
The Habit of Summer Reading: 12 weeks, 13 books
Twelve weeks lie between today and September 21st. I am going to read an average of a book per week between now and then. There are thirteen books planned because I have started a few already.
When I was in high school, we had a summer reading list each year. On the first day of class in September, our English and social studies teachers gave essay tests on the material. Manchild in the Promised Land, All Quiet on the Western Front, The Good Earth, Rebecca, and A Separate Peace kept us in the habit of reading, no matter how many other summer commitments we had. In "The Nature and Aim of Fiction", Flannery O'Connor writes that "[t]he scientist has the habit of science; the artist, the habit of art." So it must be, too, with the reader.
But my reading is sloppy these days. I read various books all at once, never quite finishing any of them. I see the same pattern reflected in other areas of my life. Time to go back to high school.
Below is my summer reading list as it stands now. I thought that if I wrote it down, I'd have to follow through.
At the very least, this list will fill me with an irresistible urge to read all the books I have that are not on this list. Either way, I complete some books.
Many thanks to the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh, AbeBooks, and to the friends and family who have given me books or gift cards over the past six months or so. I'm finally going to catch up on my reading!
(Names link to writers' blogs or faculty pages where available. Titles link to synopses at Powell's dot com.)
Batuman, Elif, The Possessed: Adventures With Russian Books and the People Who read Them (in progress)
Danticat, Edwidge, Krik? Krak!
Diski, Jenny, The Sixties: Big Ideas/Small Books (in progress)
Fox, Paula, Desperate Characters
Karkazis, Katrina, Fixing Sex: Intersex, Medical Authority, and Lived Experience
Longmore, Paul K., Why I Burned My Book and Other Essays on Disability
Marías, Javier, Corazón Tan Blanco/A Heart So White (translated from the Spanish by Margaret Jull Costa) (in progress)
Martin, Emily, Bipolar Expeditions (in progress)
Mockett, Marie Mutsuki, Picking Bones From Ash
Packer, ZZ, Drinking Coffee Elsewhere
Skloot, Rebecca, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
Stott, Rebecca, Ghostwalk (in progress). I'm looking forward to The Coral Thief after this one!
Wailoo, Keith and Pemberton, Stephen, The Troubled Dream of Genetic Medicine : Ethnicity and Innovation in Tay-Sachs, Cystic Fibrosis, and Sickle Cell Disease
Feel free to share what you are reading and/or planning to read in comments.
Quote of the Day
[Trigger warning.]
"You know, I'm a Christian, and I believe that God has a plan and a purpose for each one of our lives and that he can intercede in all kinds of situations and we need to have a little faith in many things."—Nevada GOP Senate candidate Sharron Angle, explaining why she opposes abortion even in cases of rape and/or incest.
Yes, making laws to ensure no one interferes with "God's plan" is a terrific idea. I eagerly await Candidate Angle's proposal to criminalize hospitals and medicine.
As an aside, if an anthropomorphic god with a "plan" for every human being existed, and Angle's version of that god were accurate, and that god actively used rape as a way to execute parts of its "plan," then I would seek commune with that god strictly for the purpose of rejecting it outright, strongly preferring on principle an eternal consignment to hellfire than even inadvertently conveying an infinitesimal moment of confusion as to my position.
Pamela Gorman is a Great American
Check this shit out, you collection of tree-hugging limousine liberals, pinko Commies, dope fiends, queerbaits, ladyboys, fat chicks, feminazi castrators, and assorted freaks: Pamela Gorman, who is running for congress of Arizona or something, is the greatest American since Dale Peterson. She'd probably be even greater if I didn't have to deduct points owing to her being a chick and all. But I can't break the rules of Butch Pornstache's Great Patriot Analysisizer for anyone, no matter how hot they are.
Male Voiceover: [over picture of the Capitol Building next to the text "2010"] This year, a lot of folks think this is our best shot at changing Congress. [over video of Arizona congressional candidate Pamela Gorman standing outside, her hair blowing in the wind; she is young, white, and conventionally beautiful] 'Course, that all depends on the caliber of our candidates.Anyways, this is who I'm voting for. 'Cuz this is what politics is about, just like the founding fathers said. Taxes are for dumbasses, that's why that shit ain't in the declaration of independence.
[Cut to four seconds of video of Gorman firing a machine gun.]
Male Voiceover: [over footage of Gorman at a microphone at some townhall-style meeting] Meet Pamela Gorman, candidate for Congress in Arizona 3. [over beauty shot of Gorman with mountains in background] Conservative Christian, and a pretty fair shot!
[Cut to four seconds of video of Gorman firing a hand gun.]
Male Voiceover: [over video of Gorman inside, wearing a business suit with a flag lapel pin; a graphic of the word "taxes" underneath a red strikethrough appears beside her] The insiders in the State Senate wanted to have her hide when she fought against their plan for higher taxes.
[Cut to video of Gorman aiming the hand gun at the word "taxes" and taking a single shot; the word flies offscreen.]
Male Voiceover: [over footage of Gorman shooting the machine gun, and then showing a young man how to aim the hand gun, then shooting the hand gun again herself] But Gorman—she can take care of herself. Rated 100% by the NRA, conservative Pamela Gorman is always right on target.
Pamela Gorman: [over beauty shot, accompanied by "Pamela Gorman for Congress"] I'm Pamela Gorman, and I approve this message.
[Cut to more footage of Gorman shooting the machine gun.]
You all know I'm pro-nunchuck, but I'm also pro-gun, and I would totally hate taxes if I paid them. My hard-earned weed dealing money will not be used to pay for some art queer to take pictures of his boyfriend dressed up like Jesus and then display the prints in a hollowed out console TV and tell me it's an important commentary on the nature of modern religion or whatever. Don't get me wrong—I love art as much as the next dude; I got like 5 Thomas Kinkades and a bunch of nice artistic shit I got when my stepmom Cheryl was doing Home Interiors. But I don't think the government should be paying for that stuff. If those artsy-fartsy types need money, they can borrow some from Michael Angelo. Dude must be rolling in it after painting that big church.
I mean, my friend Harry Sachs makes shitloads, and all's he paints is nature scenes on the sides of vans.
What my weed dealing money does buy is commemorative shell casings engraved with Pamela Gorman's name. These fuckers are going to be collectable, especially when she ends up in the White House. It'll be like one of those Joe the Plumber books. You know it, and I know it. My ex-wife/fiancée Tammy don't know it. She's all pissed at me, because I spent our honeymoon savings on this business venture. She don't know shit about business, cause she's a chick, and doesn't realize I'm sitting on a gold mine. But whatever. I may be broke now. But that's temporary.
And what's more important, anyways—going to the Ponderosa Sun Club in Roseland, or helping Pamela Gorman get to the White House…?
Don't even answer that. It's wrecktorial.
[Previously by Butch Pornstache: Happy Taxes and Teabags Day, I'm a Proud Teabagger and Real American, Men and Trucks and Shit, Cats and Shit, Books and Cupcakes and Shit, Ron Swanson Kicks Butt, Dale Peterson is a Great American, I'm a Man and I Enjoy Mancations.]
Impossibly Beautiful
Now for dogs!
[Click to embiggen.]
That terribly, terribly photoshopped shit actually appears on the Ralph Lauren website. Along with another terribly, terribly photoshopped image of the same forlorn dog, who evidently looks less forlorn than the original pooch cast to suffer through a photo shoot clad in a Ralph Lauren shirt.
"Get me the head of a Labrador! This filthy mutt has no papers and is too fat!"
It's not like sticking the head of a Lab onto what looks like the short, squat body of a bulldog is objectively a big deal (although it's so poorly done that RL ought to be embarrassed)—but there is something I find bitterly amusing about the fact that RL treats its canine and female models with the same contemptuous indifference: If one part isn't right, just replace it with another. They're all the same, anyway.
[Impossibly Beautiful: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40., 41, 42.]
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
An Open Letter to NBC
Dear NBC,
When I was a 10 year-old closeted lesbian, I knew I would grow up to do one of two things with my life. Either I'd be a newspaper reporter, or a comedienne. I mention this, because I need you to understand that each day for the last 21 years has been an exercise in waking up, brushing my teeth, going out into the world, and watching a piece of me die.
While convalescing from a brain injury, I realized that I had never really watched Last Comic Standing, and resolved to do so. This involves something I cared about, and would undoubtedly not crush my soul.
Would you believe it that there are a number of people out there who are pretty funny, and dare I say, good at stand up comedy? And that some of them were on your show? Or that stand up is kinda hard? I know this because you were kind enough to put together a couple of episodes of awful auditions.
A couple of observations:
1) 'I'm a hyper-masculine jerk who doesn't like anyone' is somewhat less funny in person than it is on stage.
2) If your judges were going to give only 1 of yesterday's 5 slots in the finals to a woman, it probably shouldn't have gone to that chick with the routine about how she's afraid she'll find herself dating some overly sensitive feminist guy who has ambiguous genitalia, wants her to feel good about herself, and will make her soup. Of course, as Greg Giraldo pointed out, the audience did seem to think she was attractive, which makes it really hard to get laughs.
Going out into the world and watching a piece of me die.
Assuming General Electric cares about my well-being, here's a suggestion. Hire Eddie Izzard, Bob Newhart, Betty White, and Lily Tomlin. After that, it's all gravy. Betty White could display sexual agency. People could bring in antiques for Eddie Izzard to appraise. Bob Newhart and Lily Tomlin could make fart jokes as far as I care; they're really funny people.
Either that, or you could go with the pilots of Two-and-a-Half Seinfelds and How I Met Mencia. I really don't care anymore.
Surprise
Austerity isn't working.
Good thing all the Professor Moneyheads at the G20 are ignoring inconvenient facts in order to prioritize deficit reduction. Otherwise, a smart economic idea might accidentally be put into action.
Also see: Krug and Atrios.
Update on Suspiciously Sitting While Black and Autistic
(TW for references to violence)
My previous post about 18-year-old Neli Latson described the series of events which led to his being beaten, jailed, and faced with serious criminal charges simply because someone found "suspicious" the sight of a young, black, autistic man sitting on the grass waiting for the library to open. So suspicious did that seem to this person that they imagined a "possible", though non-existent, gun in his possession.
A number of Shakers were very interested in Neli's plight, and wanted to know what they could do to help. Neli's mom, Lisa Alexander, has begun an email campaign to try to bring attention from the news media to her son's situation. At her website, A Voice for Neli, she has compiled a long list of email addresses of news people, along with an email which you can copy and paste to send to them.
And here you will find a video Lisa made on a recent visit to Neli in the institution where he's been placed for a 30-day mental health evaluation. In this video, Neli tells the story of how he was vilified, assaulted and arrested, then assaulted some more.
It. Will. Make. You. Sick. Trigger Warning on this video for descriptions of violence (not graphic), racism, misogyny and despicable inhumanity. But by all means watch it if you can, and share far and wide Neli's story and Lisa's email campaign on his behalf.
Human Rights Violations at the G20
[Trigger warning for sexual assault and homophobia.]
Shaker GimliGirl sent me the link to the below video (for which I've also provided a transcript), which shows journalist Amy Miller recounting her experience being detained at the G20 summit this weekend in Toronto. It is a harrowing retelling, in which she bears witness to young people being brutalized by police and young women being sexually assaulted under the auspices of "security." GimliGirl emails:
I've been following the G20 protests very closely in my local media (CTV News) as well as via Twitter for a more 'on the ground' feel of what's been happening. Other than the Black Bloc, it's good to hear that most of the protestors in T.dot were well behaved despite police interference like shutting down the free speech zone and bottle-necking marchers into specific, ineffective for protest, areas. It's not good to hear that two (at least) of our Charter rights were suspended down in Toronto though; our right to freedom of assembly and our right to free speech, as well as our right to travel without having to identify ourselves/be detained. These rights were similarly suspended during the Olympics this past winter in Vancouver but there was a lot less of an outcry (as far as I know.) I'm deeply ashamed of my Prime Minister and Premier Dalton McGuinty for their choice of actions surrounding the G8 and G20 summits, the amount of money spent on these events, and especially the Toronto Police response to protesters both benign and violent. Naomi Klein has a lot to say about what's happened with the G8/20 and she says it better than I ever could.
My name's Amy Miller. I was detained yesterday at approximately noon. I was with Adam [gestures to colleague standing behind her] as well as one other colleague; we were on our way to cover the Jail Solidarity Action. On the way, we stopped because we saw a group of young people being detained and being searched, so we wanted to see what was happening.Shaker Gabriel also forwarded this video in which 18-year-old Dan Hamilton recounts being detained for twenty-six hours, where he was first held in a cell with about 40 other men where there was no toilet privacy, and was then moved to a "dog pen" with his boyfriend when he said he was gay. All the gay detainees were said to have been segregated for their "safety," but, as Hamilton explains, the only homophobic people in the building were the police themselves.
As Adam recounted, we were—he was quickly taken down, and the same thing happened to me; I was throttled at the neck and held down, and then I was detained for nearly thirteen hours. I was placed in a cell at the Toronto Film Studio, and I was in a cell with twenty-five other young women for approximately thirteen hours.
Throughout the time that I was detained, I was told many statements that I find repulsive and completely inappropriate and what I view as threats. I was told I was going to be raped; I was told I was going to be gang-banged; I was told that they were going to make sure that I was never going to want to act as a "journalist" [she does air quotes] again, by making sure that I would be repeatedly raped while I was in jail.
When I was in the detention center, I saw numerous young women who were completely strip-searched, who weren't strip-searched by officers—male—who were strip-searched my male officers, and one young woman, when she was coming out, she was completely traumatized, said that she had had a finger put up her, and I find this completely unacceptable, and I hope that people will investigate this, because from what I saw, in the cell, from the women who were coming out, who were being strip-searched, they were definitely traumatized, and there was very much violence that was targeted toward young women.
While I was detained, it was very obvious that there was profiling going on; it was primarily young people, under the age of 25, who don't know their rights, or who have less knowledge of their rights, who were being told all kinds of different things. And so we—we had stopped to cover it because these were young people who were being detained and searched and who didn't know what was going on, who were just wanting to get onto their bus back to Montreal, and, despite having my press pass on me the whole time, it was quickly ripped off of me; I was throttled down, and then, next thing you know, I was being cuffed and put in one of the wagons.
Contact the premier here.
How Do You Say Congrats in Icelandic?
Prime Minister Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir and her partner, writer Jónina Leósdóttir, were married on Sunday, the day gay marriage became legal in Iceland. There was no ceremony, the couple simply applied to have the partnership they had registered in 2002 converted to a marriage under the new law. That law was passed without dissent by Iceland's parliament on June 11.
Jóhanna* became the first openly lesbian head of state on acceding to the position of Prime Minister in 2009. Now she is the first head of state to be married to a same-sex partner. All happiness to them.
*Wikipedia says the Prime Minister (when not referred to by title) is properly called "Jóhanna", not "Ms. Sigurðardottir", as the second name is a patronymic/matronymic and not a family name.
Via
Cold War Kids
FBI arrests 10 accused of working as Russian spies (and I just heard a report on CNN a few minutes ago that an 11th has been arrested):
FBI agents arrested 10 people on charges that they spent years in the United States as spies for Russia, taking on fake identities and trying to ferret out intelligence about U.S. policy and secrets by making connections to think tanks and government officials, the Justice Department said Monday.How retro!
...The operation, referred to by U.S. investigators as "the Illegals program," was aimed at placing spies in nongovernmental jobs, such as at think tanks, where they could glean information from policymakers and Washington-connected insiders without attracting attention.
Whether it succeeded was unclear Monday. Federal law enforcement officials portrayed their operation as a spectacular counterintelligence success that uncovered a group of spies capable of doing great damage to U.S. national security. "I can't remember a case where we've been able to arrest 10 intelligence officers from a foreign country in one fell swoop," one official said. "This network in the United States has now been completely compromised."
Seen
"WIENER WINNER OUT! Kobayashi won't compete in hot dog contest."
Prediction: Deeky and I will use the phrase "wiener winner" in text messages to one another somewhere between 87 and one billion times today.
Question of the Day
What has made you grin today?
A few things, but at the moment, I am in the middle of a full-tilt swoon because I just put on Mozza's "To Me You Are a Work of Art," after having not heard it for a very long time.
[Lyrics here.]
