Inspired by Portly Dyke's cupcake post yesterday... What is your favorite dessert?
Your answer doesn't necessarily have to be a sweet treat. If your favorite thing to have after a meal is a slice of cheese or a cappuccino, that's welcome, too.
I adore pretty much anything with chocolate or raspberries, but I have a really hard time thinking of anything I wouldn't pass up for a nice piece of key lime pie.
Question of the Day
"We Live in Modern Times"
Check out some of the Renault Twingo's "Modern Times" ads.
[Two young white men are driving down the street at night; two young white women are in the backseat. There is music playing and they look happy. They pull up besides a club outside of which there is a long line of people waiting to get in. In the line is a group of drag queens. The driver of the car makes eye contact with one of the drag queens, who quickly looks away.]More...
Driver: Dad? Hey, Dad! [His dad turns and looks, almost cringing with dread at what his son will say.] Can you get us in?
[The young man grins and looks at his dad expectantly. The dad looks surprised, then relieved, then happy, then proud, all in the span of a moment.]
Voiceover: Twingo. We live in modern times. [Renault logo.]
[Two white women, a mother and a daughter, are driving down the street in the daytime; they pull to a stop at a red light. The daughter glances out the passenger side window and sees a poster reading "Lola: Special Show" accompanied by the image of a burlesque girl. It is her. She looks panicked. Her mother notices the poster and recognizes her daughter; her face drops.]
Mother: What?! You found a job and you didn't tell me?
[The mother smiles. The daughter smiles bemusedly and looks relieved.]
Voiceover: Twingo. We live in modern times. Renault Twingo. [Renault logo.]
[A white woman and a white teen, grandmother and granddaughter, are driving down the street in the daytime; as they pull to a stop in a parking space, a cell phone rings and the teen reaches into her purse to get it. As she does, a strawberry-flavored condom in a decorative wrapper falls out. She looks mortified. Her grandmother picks it up and looks at it with shock.]
Grandmother: Sophie! [The granddaughter grimaces.] I thought you didn't like strawberries!
[Grandmother gives her a knowing look and laughs. Sophie laughs with relief. She reaches for the condom, but Grandmother snatches it away and tucks it into her bra.]
Voiceover: Twingo. In tune with today. [Renault logo.]
Hey, Jon Voigt...
It's a big bag of shut up.
In the interest of full disclosure, the "criminals and illegals" chipped in with me.
Quote of the Day
"Home Depot is basically encouraging the attendance of children at events which openly expose them to transvestites, cross-dressers, and homosexual activists. Gay pride events have a long track record for offensive public displays of homosexual conduct. Obviously, Home Depot is O.K. with the idea of exposing children to an unhealthy and risky environment. So much so, it is willing to also celebrate it by participating in its promotion." — Tim Wildmon, president, American Family Association, on Home Depot's sponsorship of gay pride events in New England.
Business As Usual
This just in: A federal judge has overturned the White House's six-month ban on offshore drilling. Looks like the world's oceans are once again made safe for capitalism. Hooray.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Deep in the heart of Texas
The GOP are bigots. *clap clap clap*
Ok, it doesn't rhyme--but it's true. The Republican platform (.pdf ...will induce rage), as voted on and is finalized, has a whole lot of shit in it. It's like they thought that Arizona threw down a bigot competition gauntlet and decided to go all out. Some lowlights:
[T]he Texas GOP seeks to end the state's lottery, which provides millions in funding to public education; restrict citizenship to children born in the United States whose parents are citizens; end federal sponsorship of pre-kindergarten schools; impose a jail sentence on any illegal immigrant in the state; shut down all day-labor centers; cut off all bilingual education after a student's fourth year in a U.S. public school; legalize corporal punishment in public schools; mandate that evolution and global warming be "taught as challengeable scientific theory"; and demand that Congress evict the United Nations from U.S. soil and end American membership in the global body.There's also this sort of stuff:
HONORING THE SYMBOLS OF OUR AMERICAN HERITAGEWhen was the Star Spangled Banner subjected to "legislative and judicial attack"? Anyway, straight from "America! Fuck Yeah!", it goes into this heaping monstrosity of bigoted fuckitude:
Ten Commandments – We oppose any governmental action to restrict, prohibit, or remove public display of the Decalogue or other religious symbols.
Constitution in Public Schools – We believe that all state-funded schools should read and teach the constitutions of the United States of America and the State of Texas.
Pledge of Allegiance – We support adoption of the Pledge Protection Act. We also demand that the National Motto “In God We Trust” and National Anthem be protected from legislative and judicial attack.
American English – We support adoption of American English as the official language of Texas and of the United States.
Flag Desecration – Any form of desecration of the American Flag is an act of disregard for our nation and its people and penalties should be established for such.
Symbols of American Heritage – We call upon governmental entities to protect all symbols of our American heritage from being altered in any way.
Confederate Widows Plaque – We call for restoration of plaques honoring the Confederate Widow’s Pension Fund contribution that were removed from the Texas Supreme Court building.
Want to know why you're called bigots? BECAUSE YOU ARE.STRENGTHENING FAMILIES, PROTECTING LIFE AND PROMOTING HEALTH
CELEBRATING TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
Family and Defense of Marriage – We support the definition of marriage as a God–ordained, legal and moral commitment only between a natural man and a natural woman, which is the foundational unit of a healthy society, and we oppose the assault on marriage by judicial activists. We call on the President and Congress to take immediate action to defend the sanctity of marriage. We are resolute that Congress exercise authority under the United States Constitution, and pass legislation withholding jurisdiction from the Federal Courts in cases involving family law, especially any changes in the definition of marriage. We further call on Congress to pass and the state legislatures to ratify a marriage amendment P-6 declaring that marriage in the United States shall consist of and be recognized only as the union of a natural man and a natural woman. Neither the United States nor any state shall recognize or grant to any unmarried person the legal rights or status of a spouse. We oppose the recognition of and granting of benefits to people who represent themselves as domestic partners without being legally married. We advocate the repeal of laws that place an unfair tax burden on families. We call upon Congress to completely remove the marriage penalty in the tax code, whereby a married couple receives a smaller standard deduction than their unmarried counterparts living together. The primary family unit consists of those related by blood, heterosexual marriage, or adoption. The family is responsible for its own welfare, education, moral training, conduct, and property.
Family Values – We affirm that this section is a response to the attacks on traditional family values. These include well- funded, vigorous political and judicial attempts by powerful organizations and branches of the government to force acceptance, affirmation and normalization of homosexual behavior upon school children, parents, educational institutions, businesses, employees, government bodies and religious institutions and charities. These aggressive, intolerant efforts marginalize as bigots anyone who dissents.
Marriage and Divorce – We believe in the sanctity of marriage and that the integrity of this institution should be protected at all levels of government. We urge the Legislature to rescind no–fault divorce laws. We support Covenant Marriage.
Marriage Licenses – We support legislation that would make it a felony to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple and for any civil official to perform a marriage ceremony for such.
Homosexuality – We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans. Homosexuality must not be presented as an acceptable “alternative” lifestyle in our public education and policy, nor should “family” be redefined to include homosexual “couples.” We are opposed to any granting of special legal entitlements, refuse to recognize, or grant special privileges including, but not limited to: marriage between persons of the same sex (regardless of state of origin), custody of children by homosexuals, homosexual partner insurance or retirement benefits. We oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction, or belief in traditional values.
Texas Sodomy Statutes – We oppose the legalization of sodomy. We demand that Congress exercise its authority granted by the U.S. Constitution to withhold jurisdiction from the federal courts from cases involving sodomy.
Under the totally not ironic title of "Protecting Our Children" there's also this:
Child Support and Visitation – We support equity between responsible parents in child support, custody, and visitation rights and costs, as well as the strengthening of laws designed to protect children from abuse. No parent/grandparent should be denied court ordered visitation, because of jurisdictional disputes between states. We also believe that no homosexual or any individual convicted of child abuse or molestation should have the right to custody or adoption of a minor child, and that visitation with minor children by such persons should be prohibited but if ordered by the court limited to supervised periods."Protecting Our Children"? Not so much.
Adoption – We support reducing the time, bureaucratic interference and cost of adoption. The law should assure mothers of a choice in selecting a traditional home for their children at the time of terminating their rights for adoption. We oppose mandatory open adoption and adoption by homosexuals.
Foster Care – We support eliminating bureaucratic prohibitions on corporal discipline and home schooling in foster homes to help alleviate the shortage of foster parents.
I mentioned this is comments but I think it's worth editing the post--and I should have included it in the first place. This is also under the "Protecting Our Children" section (emphasis mine):
Parental Rights and Responsibilities – We believe that parental rights and responsibilities are inherent and protected by the United States Constitution. Local, state, or federal laws, regulations, or policies shall not be enacted that limit parental rights in the rearing of both biological and adopted children. The Party supports the Texas Parental Rights Restoration Act to amend this statute and restore the fundamental right of parents to direct the upbringing of their children. We unequivocally oppose the United States Senate ratification of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which would transfer jurisdiction over parental rights and responsibilities to international bureaucracies. Support of Parental Authority - We support parental authority and the teaching of moral values in the home. We oppose school– based clinics and/or youth impact centers located at, sponsored by, or funded by any state agency or public school district, whether or not they dispense condoms and contraceptives or refer, aid, or advise minors to have abortions.The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child:
The Convention on the Rights of the Child is the first legally binding international instrument to incorporate the full range of human rights—civil, cultural, economic, political and social rights. In 1989, world leaders decided that children needed a special convention just for them because people under 18 years old often need special care and protection that adults do not. The leaders also wanted to make sure that the world recognized that children have human rights too.They "unequivocally oppose" this. Unequivocally. Oppose.
The Convention sets out these rights in 54 articles and two Optional Protocols. It spells out the basic human rights that children everywhere have: the right to survival; to develop to the fullest; to protection from harmful influences, abuse and exploitation; and to participate fully in family, cultural and social life. The four core principles of the Convention are non-discrimination; devotion to the best interests of the child; the right to life, survival and development; and respect for the views of the child. Every right spelled out in the Convention is inherent to the human dignity and harmonious development of every child. The Convention protects children's rights by setting standards in health care; education; and legal, civil and social services.
By agreeing to undertake the obligations of the Convention (by ratifying or acceding to it), national governments have committed themselves to protecting and ensuring children's rights and they have agreed to hold themselves accountable for this commitment before the international community. States parties to the Convention are obliged to develop and undertake all actions and policies in the light of the best interests of the child.
Texas GOP: loathsome, vile, anti-family, racist, homophobic, nationalistic, jackbooted assholes.
*clap clap clap*
Holy Shit
Iain sent me a link to this article with a one-word commentary: "Yikes."
I don't know what else I can add to that.
And we used to worry something would "go wrong" with Iain's immigration process because of my blogging under the Bush administration.
The Sashay Project - Part 1
So, I’m talking with ‘Liss last Thursday, and we were doing our usual rambly thing; I talked about how hand-dishwashing is now supposed to be the ultimate stress-reliever, and she talked about how it isn’t for her because of back-pain, and I got all excited about this new personal discovery I’ve made that I never would have mentioned, ‘cept we were talking about back-pain, and she says: “You’ve GOT to blog that series!”
So I do.
Hence: The Sashay Project is born.
This is a series of posts that explores the way I locomote through the world and how it is affected by sexism and the gender binary -- people who locomote through the world by means other than walking are welcomed and encouraged to share their insights about how sexism/gender performance might impact how they move through the world.
BRIEF HISTORY:
I used to be thin. Now I’m fat.
I think of myself as pretty advanced on the body-acceptance scale. I actively love and appreciate my body – it’s been a reliable, healthy, low-maintenance vehicle for most of my life, even though I’ve put it through some pretty rough periods of neglect over the years. I’ve actually enjoyed better physical health at my current weight than I ever did when I was thin, and I’m generally a body-acceptance advocate and cheerleader for my friends when they get mean and critical about their own bodies for whatever reason.
So, I’ve thought of myself as being pretty clear on accepting and loving my body as it is.
RECENT OBSERVATIONS and THE PAIN IN MY ASS:
Since I gained weight (for me, this seemed to happen as a part of navigating menopause), I started noticing certain physical sensations that I experienced at the beginning of a walk or a hike – for the first ten to fifteen minutes, I would experience a sort of crampy pain in my sacral area. Usually, it would loosen up and disappear after a time, but if I was moving/walking on concrete, sometimes it would never shift.
Recently, I’d been monitoring and exploring this phenomenon more closely – I wanted to know more about what seemed to trigger it.
I’d be grocery shopping (our coop is in a renovated bowling alley, with a concrete slab floor covered by tile), and I noticed that on some shopping days, my pelvis seemed kind of locked up – my stride felt restricted and short, and I’d get that cramping pain in my lower back.
It didn’t happen all the time, though, and I puzzled over what made the difference – had I done different physical activity that day? Had I been standing on concrete earlier (say, working in the basement at the tool bench)?
Then, I saw the video of Alice Tan Ridley on America’s Got Talent.
I loved her singing, but I think I loved her personal presentation even more – she was a confident, fat, talented, late-fifties woman who seemed completely unafraid to show herself as a sexual being.
And -- I noticed her walk.
Her hips seemed – well – liberated -- to me – and I got to thinking about that pain in my sacrum. So, the other night, when my Beloved and I went for a rambling walk in the Summer evening, I experimented with freeing up my hips as I moved.
And guess what? No pain.
Which led me to wonder about how I had been walking before – and that line of exploration resulted in a veritable cascade of realizations about how (and why) I have been “managing” my gait up to now.
Some researchers believe that the way you walk is as unique to you as your fingerprints.
I know that allowing my hips to swing easily felt very, very different to me.
I was aware that, as I moved in this new way, whenever we passed a stranger, I became self-conscious about my ass, which has always been bubbular (the nickname “onion buns” does not stick to you for nearly 40 years for no reason). My always-bubbular ass is now fat-enhanced, so when it’s moving, it’s really moving.
And as I noticed this self-consciousness, I realized that at least some part of my restricted pelvic action might have to do with the usual fat-person fear of taking up too much space, or simply being seen.
Heh -- so much for my highly-advanced state of body acceptance.
For the past week, I’ve been engaging in Conscious Sashaying, and I’ve been fascinated by the many, many layers of stuff that has come up around it.
The Sashay Project will be an exploration of those layers, and because they’re still being revealed to me, I have no idea how many posts that will involve.
I do, however, know what the Project motto will be:
Free Your Ass, and Your Mind Will Follow
Texting! With Liss and Deeky!
Yesterday morning…
Deeky: Your favourite movie is D.A.R.Y.L.
Liss: Yours is Mac and Me.
Deeky: LOL! You wish!
Liss: I DO wish! I used my last birthday wish before blowing out the candles to wish your favorite movie were Mac and Me.
Deeky: LOL!
Liss: I also blew on a puffed dandelion the other day and wished you loved Mac and Me more than any other movie.
Deeky: "Blew on a puffed dandelion"? LOL. That sounds sooooo gay.
Liss: Every wishbone for the past two years has been dedicated to the same cause. WHY ISN'T MAC AND ME YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE YET?! The universe just isn't listening to me.
Deeky: Are you using The Secret?
Liss: I am using The Secret. I spend one hour every morning visualizing Mac and Me being your favorite movie.
Deeky: LOL! You just like to spend an hour a day visualizing me.
Liss: I like visualizing you blowing on a puffed dandelion. Named Chad.
Deeky: LOLOLOL!
Liss: OMG it is like some kind of fucking monsoon here.
Deeky: It was like that here on Saturday. All of the patio furniture, including the heavy-ass table, blew across the yard.
Liss: That was how it was here Friday night, too. Weird weather so far this summer.
Deeky: Totally weird. And all my forsythias are dying. And my new pine. WTF? I thought fags were supposed to be good at taking care of plants.
Liss: Your homo card is being revoked.
Deeky: Should be revoked anyway. Since I'm not blowing on any puffed dandelions.
Liss: That's just another reason to move to Chicago… Hot gay men as far as the wiener can see.
Deeky: LOL! Wienervision!
Liss: "Deeky Does Dallas…now in Wienervision!"
Late last night…
Deeky: Are you on xbox?
Liss: Iain is playing Brokeback Mountain Redemption or wev that cowboy game is. He says you need to get it, so you can play on xbox live.
Deeky: LOL! He can keep his horse. I'm gonna go blow the fuck out of the kaiser.
Liss: LOL! You're gonna blow the kaiser's puffed dandelion.
Deeky: LOL! Shut it, you!
Liss: Callback master! LOL!
Deeky: Fucking lint trap.
Liss: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Deeky: The kaiser just handed me my ass.
Liss: What are you playing, anyway?
Deeky: Toy Soldiers.
Liss: MARTIKA!!!
Deeky: LOL! I hate you.
Liss: You love me.
Deeky: True.
YES!
The one thing I've really been desperately wanting to know about this whole oil spill mess is what does 2006 American Idol Winner Taylor Hicks think?
Itch scratched. Thank you, Larry King.
Doctor Who Open Thread: S5E09: Cold Blood
As UrsulaL guessed, I'm a bit behind because I was at a conference last weekend, and didn't get to see the episode until I got home (and in fact, had to watch it online, as my PVR had failed to grab the ep, aagh!).
Please note that this thread will contain spoilers for Episode 9 of Season 5, Cold Blood, or any episode which has gone before it in the Whoverse. I ask that you avoid giving spoilers for any episode beyond the named one.
So, Whoversicans, let's hear it: what did you think of this episode?
I loved Nasreen even more than last week, is what it was for me. And I really hope we get to see her again.
POSSIBLE TORCHWOOD SEASON 2 SPOILER BELOW THIS:
Did anyone else recognize that the father was the guy who'd been in the Torchwood episode with Ruth Jones, where he was the boy abducted and burned and then returned and who screamed and screamed most of the time? Where Gwen found them all warehoused?
Everything's Going Great in Afghanistan
A "sobering and shocking" congressional investigation has found that mercenaries are funding warlords and undermining the ostensible war objective because what the fuck do they care since their objective is to make money private security contractors protecting the supply convoys to the US military bases in Afghanistan "are paying millions of dollars a week in 'passage bribes' to the Taliban and other insurgent groups to travel along Afghan roads."
The payments, which are reimbursed by the U.S. government, help fund the very enemy the U.S. is attempting to defeat and renew questions about the U.S. dependence on private contractors, who outnumber American troops in Afghanistan, 130,000 to 93,000.Swell. Not that this should surprise anyone, especially anyone in the government: When you hire
..."This arrangement has fueled a vast protection racket run by shadowy network of warlords, strongmen, commanders, corrupt Afghan officials, and perhaps others," wrote Rep. John Tierney, D- Mass., the chairman of the House subcommittee on National Security and Foreign Affairs. "Not only does the system run afoul of the (Defense) Department's own rules and regulations mandated by Congress, it also appears to risk undermining the U.S. strategy for achieving its goals in Afghanistan."
..."The Department of Defense has been largely blind to potential strategic consequences of its supply chain contingency contracting. U.S. military logisticians have little visibility into what happens to their trucks on the road and virtually no understanding of how security is actually provided," the report found.
Meanwhile, the top US military commander in Afghanistan, General Stanley McChrystal, has been recalled to Washington after dissing the administration in an interview with, I shit you not, Rolling Stone.
McChrystal apologized Tuesday for the profile, in which the general and his staff appear to mock top civilian officials, including the vice president. The article is set to appear in Friday's edition of Rolling Stone.Also singled out for sniping in the article are US Ambassador Karl Eikenberry, Special Representative to Afghanistan Richard Holbrooke, and National Security Adviser Jim Jones. The article notes that McChrystal "has managed to piss off almost everyone with a stake in the conflict." He issued an apology today for what is, by any reckoning, a huge embarrassment for the Pentagon.
...In the profile written by Michael Hastings, the author writes that McChrystal and his staff had imagined ways of dismissing Vice President Joe Biden with a one-liner as they prepared for a question-and-answer session in Paris in April. The general had grown tired of questions about Biden since earlier dismissing a counterterrorism strategy the vice president had offered.
"'Are you asking about Vice President Biden?' McChrystal says with a laugh. 'Who's that?'"
"'Biden?' suggests a top adviser. 'Did you say: Bite Me?'"
...McChrystal's first one-on-one meeting with Obama "was a 10-minute photo op," Hastings writes, quoting an adviser to McChrystal. "Obama clearly didn't know anything about him, who he was. Here's the guy who's going to run his f---ing war, but he didn't seem very engaged. The Boss (McChrystal) was disappointed."
"I extend my sincerest apology for this profile. It was a mistake reflecting poor judgment and should never have happened," McChrystal said in a Pentagon statement. "Throughout my career, I have lived by the principles of personal honor and professional integrity. What is reflected in this article falls far short of that standard."Do you think lying about his "enormous respect and admiration" for the administration falls under "personal honor" or "professional integrity"?
..."I have enormous respect and admiration for President Obama and his national security team, and for the civilian leaders and troops fighting this war and I remain committed to ensuring its successful outcome," McChrystal said in the closing to his apology.
Christ.
The Afghanistan War is a clusterfucktastrophe wrapped in a hot mess wrapped in a metric fuckton of OMFGWTF.
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker Esme: "What are your superstitions (if any)? I, myself, wish on every eyelash, kiss my car ceiling on yellow lights, and will not make a road trip without hearing 'Radar Love' at least once on the radio. Without 'Radar Love,' bad things will happen."
(I've answered this one before, though it was many moons ago.)
HA HA HA That Sarah Palin Is Such a Dingaling!
Yesterday, Sarah Palin tweeted: "Gulf disaster needs divine intervention as man's efforts have been futile. Gulf lawmakers designate today Day of Prayer for solution/miracle."
Which is stupid.
As various lefty blogs have rightfully pointed out.
But...I do wonder in what fundamental way Palin's stupidity differs from our president's, who used the occasion of his last Oval Office address to wax lyrical about "our unyielding faith that something better awaits us if we summon the courage to reach for it" and to exhort us to "pray for that courage ... pray for the people of the Gulf ... pray that a hand may guide us through the storm towards a brighter day."
Wonkette thinks it's funny, in part, because Palin is a "noted oil-industry shill." Too true. And, ya know, so is the president.
Just sayin'.
In case it's not evident, this isn't an argument for reflexively defending Sarah Palin and her terrible policies and ideas. It's an argument for not reflexively defending Barack Obama and his terrible policies and ideas, especially when they are virtually indistinguishable from Sarah Palin's.
Portly, did you bring enough for the entire class?
You are probably aware that it's my birthday, and this afternoon I found myself facing that age-old birthday dilemma:
OH NOES! I have a pound and a half of chocolate, 8 eggs, butter, and whipping cream! Whatever will I do!?!?!?!
Fortunately, Epicurious has an answer for everything -- so I did this:
I adore these little lovelies, because they are completely flourless (Teh Wheat is not my friend). They're not difficult to make at all, and they taste fabulous even without the greenery (floral enhancement courtesy of my equally tasty Beloved).
And yes, I DO, in fact, have enough for the whole class.
