So, I’m talking with ‘Liss last Thursday, and we were doing our usual rambly thing; I talked about how hand-dishwashing is now supposed to be the ultimate stress-reliever, and she talked about how it isn’t for her because of back-pain, and I got all excited about this new personal discovery I’ve made that I never would have mentioned, ‘cept we were talking about back-pain, and she says: “You’ve GOT to blog that series!”
So I do.
Hence: The Sashay Project is born.
This is a series of posts that explores the way I locomote through the world and how it is affected by sexism and the gender binary -- people who locomote through the world by means other than walking are welcomed and encouraged to share their insights about how sexism/gender performance might impact how they move through the world.
BRIEF HISTORY:
I used to be thin. Now I’m fat.
I think of myself as pretty advanced on the body-acceptance scale. I actively love and appreciate my body – it’s been a reliable, healthy, low-maintenance vehicle for most of my life, even though I’ve put it through some pretty rough periods of neglect over the years. I’ve actually enjoyed better physical health at my current weight than I ever did when I was thin, and I’m generally a body-acceptance advocate and cheerleader for my friends when they get mean and critical about their own bodies for whatever reason.
So, I’ve thought of myself as being pretty clear on accepting and loving my body as it is.
RECENT OBSERVATIONS and THE PAIN IN MY ASS:
Since I gained weight (for me, this seemed to happen as a part of navigating menopause), I started noticing certain physical sensations that I experienced at the beginning of a walk or a hike – for the first ten to fifteen minutes, I would experience a sort of crampy pain in my sacral area. Usually, it would loosen up and disappear after a time, but if I was moving/walking on concrete, sometimes it would never shift.
Recently, I’d been monitoring and exploring this phenomenon more closely – I wanted to know more about what seemed to trigger it.
I’d be grocery shopping (our coop is in a renovated bowling alley, with a concrete slab floor covered by tile), and I noticed that on some shopping days, my pelvis seemed kind of locked up – my stride felt restricted and short, and I’d get that cramping pain in my lower back.
It didn’t happen all the time, though, and I puzzled over what made the difference – had I done different physical activity that day? Had I been standing on concrete earlier (say, working in the basement at the tool bench)?
Then, I saw the video of Alice Tan Ridley on America’s Got Talent.
I loved her singing, but I think I loved her personal presentation even more – she was a confident, fat, talented, late-fifties woman who seemed completely unafraid to show herself as a sexual being.
And -- I noticed her walk.
Her hips seemed – well – liberated -- to me – and I got to thinking about that pain in my sacrum. So, the other night, when my Beloved and I went for a rambling walk in the Summer evening, I experimented with freeing up my hips as I moved.
And guess what? No pain.
Which led me to wonder about how I had been walking before – and that line of exploration resulted in a veritable cascade of realizations about how (and why) I have been “managing” my gait up to now.
Some researchers believe that the way you walk is as unique to you as your fingerprints.
I know that allowing my hips to swing easily felt very, very different to me.
I was aware that, as I moved in this new way, whenever we passed a stranger, I became self-conscious about my ass, which has always been bubbular (the nickname “onion buns” does not stick to you for nearly 40 years for no reason). My always-bubbular ass is now fat-enhanced, so when it’s moving, it’s really moving.
And as I noticed this self-consciousness, I realized that at least some part of my restricted pelvic action might have to do with the usual fat-person fear of taking up too much space, or simply being seen.
Heh -- so much for my highly-advanced state of body acceptance.
For the past week, I’ve been engaging in Conscious Sashaying, and I’ve been fascinated by the many, many layers of stuff that has come up around it.
The Sashay Project will be an exploration of those layers, and because they’re still being revealed to me, I have no idea how many posts that will involve.
I do, however, know what the Project motto will be:
Free Your Ass, and Your Mind Will Follow
The Sashay Project - Part 1
Texting! With Liss and Deeky!
Yesterday morning…
Deeky: Your favourite movie is D.A.R.Y.L.
Liss: Yours is Mac and Me.
Deeky: LOL! You wish!
Liss: I DO wish! I used my last birthday wish before blowing out the candles to wish your favorite movie were Mac and Me.
Deeky: LOL!
Liss: I also blew on a puffed dandelion the other day and wished you loved Mac and Me more than any other movie.
Deeky: "Blew on a puffed dandelion"? LOL. That sounds sooooo gay.
Liss: Every wishbone for the past two years has been dedicated to the same cause. WHY ISN'T MAC AND ME YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE YET?! The universe just isn't listening to me.
Deeky: Are you using The Secret?
Liss: I am using The Secret. I spend one hour every morning visualizing Mac and Me being your favorite movie.
Deeky: LOL! You just like to spend an hour a day visualizing me.
Liss: I like visualizing you blowing on a puffed dandelion. Named Chad.
Deeky: LOLOLOL!
Liss: OMG it is like some kind of fucking monsoon here.
Deeky: It was like that here on Saturday. All of the patio furniture, including the heavy-ass table, blew across the yard.
Liss: That was how it was here Friday night, too. Weird weather so far this summer.
Deeky: Totally weird. And all my forsythias are dying. And my new pine. WTF? I thought fags were supposed to be good at taking care of plants.
Liss: Your homo card is being revoked.
Deeky: Should be revoked anyway. Since I'm not blowing on any puffed dandelions.
Liss: That's just another reason to move to Chicago… Hot gay men as far as the wiener can see.
Deeky: LOL! Wienervision!
Liss: "Deeky Does Dallas…now in Wienervision!"
Late last night…
Deeky: Are you on xbox?
Liss: Iain is playing Brokeback Mountain Redemption or wev that cowboy game is. He says you need to get it, so you can play on xbox live.
Deeky: LOL! He can keep his horse. I'm gonna go blow the fuck out of the kaiser.
Liss: LOL! You're gonna blow the kaiser's puffed dandelion.
Deeky: LOL! Shut it, you!
Liss: Callback master! LOL!
Deeky: Fucking lint trap.
Liss: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Deeky: The kaiser just handed me my ass.
Liss: What are you playing, anyway?
Deeky: Toy Soldiers.
Liss: MARTIKA!!!
Deeky: LOL! I hate you.
Liss: You love me.
Deeky: True.
YES!
The one thing I've really been desperately wanting to know about this whole oil spill mess is what does 2006 American Idol Winner Taylor Hicks think?
Itch scratched. Thank you, Larry King.
Doctor Who Open Thread: S5E09: Cold Blood
As UrsulaL guessed, I'm a bit behind because I was at a conference last weekend, and didn't get to see the episode until I got home (and in fact, had to watch it online, as my PVR had failed to grab the ep, aagh!).
Please note that this thread will contain spoilers for Episode 9 of Season 5, Cold Blood, or any episode which has gone before it in the Whoverse. I ask that you avoid giving spoilers for any episode beyond the named one.
So, Whoversicans, let's hear it: what did you think of this episode?
I loved Nasreen even more than last week, is what it was for me. And I really hope we get to see her again.
POSSIBLE TORCHWOOD SEASON 2 SPOILER BELOW THIS:
Did anyone else recognize that the father was the guy who'd been in the Torchwood episode with Ruth Jones, where he was the boy abducted and burned and then returned and who screamed and screamed most of the time? Where Gwen found them all warehoused?
Everything's Going Great in Afghanistan
A "sobering and shocking" congressional investigation has found that mercenaries are funding warlords and undermining the ostensible war objective because what the fuck do they care since their objective is to make money private security contractors protecting the supply convoys to the US military bases in Afghanistan "are paying millions of dollars a week in 'passage bribes' to the Taliban and other insurgent groups to travel along Afghan roads."
The payments, which are reimbursed by the U.S. government, help fund the very enemy the U.S. is attempting to defeat and renew questions about the U.S. dependence on private contractors, who outnumber American troops in Afghanistan, 130,000 to 93,000.Swell. Not that this should surprise anyone, especially anyone in the government: When you hire
..."This arrangement has fueled a vast protection racket run by shadowy network of warlords, strongmen, commanders, corrupt Afghan officials, and perhaps others," wrote Rep. John Tierney, D- Mass., the chairman of the House subcommittee on National Security and Foreign Affairs. "Not only does the system run afoul of the (Defense) Department's own rules and regulations mandated by Congress, it also appears to risk undermining the U.S. strategy for achieving its goals in Afghanistan."
..."The Department of Defense has been largely blind to potential strategic consequences of its supply chain contingency contracting. U.S. military logisticians have little visibility into what happens to their trucks on the road and virtually no understanding of how security is actually provided," the report found.
Meanwhile, the top US military commander in Afghanistan, General Stanley McChrystal, has been recalled to Washington after dissing the administration in an interview with, I shit you not, Rolling Stone.
McChrystal apologized Tuesday for the profile, in which the general and his staff appear to mock top civilian officials, including the vice president. The article is set to appear in Friday's edition of Rolling Stone.Also singled out for sniping in the article are US Ambassador Karl Eikenberry, Special Representative to Afghanistan Richard Holbrooke, and National Security Adviser Jim Jones. The article notes that McChrystal "has managed to piss off almost everyone with a stake in the conflict." He issued an apology today for what is, by any reckoning, a huge embarrassment for the Pentagon.
...In the profile written by Michael Hastings, the author writes that McChrystal and his staff had imagined ways of dismissing Vice President Joe Biden with a one-liner as they prepared for a question-and-answer session in Paris in April. The general had grown tired of questions about Biden since earlier dismissing a counterterrorism strategy the vice president had offered.
"'Are you asking about Vice President Biden?' McChrystal says with a laugh. 'Who's that?'"
"'Biden?' suggests a top adviser. 'Did you say: Bite Me?'"
...McChrystal's first one-on-one meeting with Obama "was a 10-minute photo op," Hastings writes, quoting an adviser to McChrystal. "Obama clearly didn't know anything about him, who he was. Here's the guy who's going to run his f---ing war, but he didn't seem very engaged. The Boss (McChrystal) was disappointed."
"I extend my sincerest apology for this profile. It was a mistake reflecting poor judgment and should never have happened," McChrystal said in a Pentagon statement. "Throughout my career, I have lived by the principles of personal honor and professional integrity. What is reflected in this article falls far short of that standard."Do you think lying about his "enormous respect and admiration" for the administration falls under "personal honor" or "professional integrity"?
..."I have enormous respect and admiration for President Obama and his national security team, and for the civilian leaders and troops fighting this war and I remain committed to ensuring its successful outcome," McChrystal said in the closing to his apology.
Christ.
The Afghanistan War is a clusterfucktastrophe wrapped in a hot mess wrapped in a metric fuckton of OMFGWTF.
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker Esme: "What are your superstitions (if any)? I, myself, wish on every eyelash, kiss my car ceiling on yellow lights, and will not make a road trip without hearing 'Radar Love' at least once on the radio. Without 'Radar Love,' bad things will happen."
(I've answered this one before, though it was many moons ago.)
HA HA HA That Sarah Palin Is Such a Dingaling!
Yesterday, Sarah Palin tweeted: "Gulf disaster needs divine intervention as man's efforts have been futile. Gulf lawmakers designate today Day of Prayer for solution/miracle."
Which is stupid.
As various lefty blogs have rightfully pointed out.
But...I do wonder in what fundamental way Palin's stupidity differs from our president's, who used the occasion of his last Oval Office address to wax lyrical about "our unyielding faith that something better awaits us if we summon the courage to reach for it" and to exhort us to "pray for that courage ... pray for the people of the Gulf ... pray that a hand may guide us through the storm towards a brighter day."
Wonkette thinks it's funny, in part, because Palin is a "noted oil-industry shill." Too true. And, ya know, so is the president.
Just sayin'.
In case it's not evident, this isn't an argument for reflexively defending Sarah Palin and her terrible policies and ideas. It's an argument for not reflexively defending Barack Obama and his terrible policies and ideas, especially when they are virtually indistinguishable from Sarah Palin's.
Portly, did you bring enough for the entire class?
You are probably aware that it's my birthday, and this afternoon I found myself facing that age-old birthday dilemma:
OH NOES! I have a pound and a half of chocolate, 8 eggs, butter, and whipping cream! Whatever will I do!?!?!?!
Fortunately, Epicurious has an answer for everything -- so I did this:
I adore these little lovelies, because they are completely flourless (Teh Wheat is not my friend). They're not difficult to make at all, and they taste fabulous even without the greenery (floral enhancement courtesy of my equally tasty Beloved).
And yes, I DO, in fact, have enough for the whole class.
Shaker Gourmet: Vegan Banh Mi
This recipe comes courtesy of Shaker RachelB who noted that: "this recipe requires either a food processor with a shredder blade or a box grater and mortar and pestle. It should make three servings."
If you have a recipe that you'd like to share with the Shaker community, email it to me at: shakergourmet (at) gmail.com -- include a link to your blog, too, if you have one!Pesto for banh mi
If you’re using a large food processor, the pesto will mix better if you double the quantities.
1 ½ inch piece ginger, peeled
1 shallot, peeled
2 cloves garlic, peeled
1 large jalapeno (or 2 smaller medium-hot chili peppers); more to taste
cilantro, one generous bunch, including stems, washed and dried as best as possible
a few leaves of basil
a few leaves of spearmint
peanut oil or neutral vegetable oil
juice of ½ lemon (or more to taste)
salt to taste (I undersalt the pesto, using about ¼ tsp. so the boyfriend, who likes fish sauce, can use fish sauce on his sandwich without getting salt overload)
Place the ginger, shallot, and garlic in the food processor or mortar and pulverize. Add chili(s) and pulverize. Add cilantro, basil, and spearmint and pulverize. Pour in, little by little, enough oil to make a paste. Mix in lemon and salt, adjusting to taste.Banh mi
2 carrots, or 1 carrot and 1 daikon
rice wine vinegar
1 baguette
soy sauce (or fish sauce if you prefer)
pesto (see above)
1 pkg. baked tofu (if you can find something marinated with chili and lemongrass, that’s the way to go)
Shred the carrot and/or daikon using a grater or food processor. Set aside in a bowl and toss with a splash of rice wine vinegar.
Cut baguette into desired portion size. (Basically, I cut a length that will fit in my toaster; if you are using a toaster oven and want a longer piece, go to town.) Then slice the baguette piece in half the long way. Pop in toaster.
While the baguette is toasting, slice the marinated tofu thinly enough so that everyone can have some.
Spread the cut side of the toasted baguette with pesto and dot on some soy sauce if necessary. Place tofu slices on top of one piece, mound on some marinated carrot/daikon shreds, and add the top half.
We usually have pesto and carrot/daikon shreds left over, but we eat up all the tofu. In this case, leftover pesto and carrot/daikon shreds are also good on rice (or good in spring roll wrappers with some crushed peanuts).
Daily Dose o' Cute
Hi!
This weekend, Iain and I took Dudley to a fundraising event for the rescue who saved him. It was the first time he'd seen his foster dad, Jeff, who's also the president of the organization, since the adoption. Jeff, who will eternally have my respect and trust because he was totally honest with us about Dudley's "problems" (shyness, anxiety, easily spooked, submissive urination), couldn't even believe that the confident, social, affectionate dog who greeted everyone with a happy grin was the same dog he'd left with us not even two months ago. He, and all the other rescue volunteers there who'd known Dudley, were amazed at his transformation from shy little piddler just off the track to the self-assured and happy boy who came striding in at our sides.
Jeff told us that he never expected Dudz to be such a confident and extroverted dog. "He was so spooky," he marveled, shaking his head. Hearing someone who knows greyhounds so well, who has dedicated his life to them, express such surprise at how thoroughly Dudz has come out of his shell, how well-adjusted he is, made me so happy and so proud of our little doggy guy.
I told Jeff he did do some submissive peeing, but he got over it quickly; I told him how I laid quietly on the floor with Dudz a few times a day when he first arrived, matching my breathing to his, just two strangers who weren't so very different, to let him know he could trust me. Jeff shook his head with wonder and delight.
Already, it's difficult for me to recall that shyness. But it all comes back when I look again at the picture of Dudley that was posted on the rescue's website, the first picture we saw of him, taken just after his rescue from the track:
When I look at that picture now, it makes me cry. Because now I know Dudley; now I know what it would take to make him feel that scared and look that small.
He is big and tall, and his personality is expansive. He is joyful and goofy and (almost) fearless. And I want nothing more than to make sure he always has something to smile about for the rest of his days.
-----------------------
The rescue is currently in need of both foster and adoptive homes for a large group of greys they're rescuing from a closing track kennel in Florida. If you're in the area (I'm in NW Indiana/South Chicagoland) and would like some information on fostering or adopting, please email me.
Steve King: All Class, All the Time
Iowa Rep. Steve King (R-Eprobate), who in March was quoted exhorting Tea Partiers to "beat that other side to a pulp," is back with some more fun eliminationist rhetoric:
King said that under only one circumstance does he support amnesty for illegal immigrants: "Every time we give amnesty for an illegal alien, we deport a liberal."Which, apart from being a "joke" about the sort of thing that underlies civil wars and genocides, doesn't even make any fucking sense, since Latin@s, who comprise the majority of the US's undocumented workers, are an increasingly liberal voting bloc, in no small part because of bullshit precisely like this.
Just like everything else in his head, Rep. King's math is wrong.
Meanwhile, Digby notes the irony that the organizer of the event where King made the statement says "the goal of the movement is to unite America the way it was immediately following the 2001 terrorist attacks." (Rep. King is a uniter, not a divider! Unless you're a liberal. Then divide yourself to fuck, lefty trash!) And Atrios has a lolsobful comment about the nostalgia for that time of national unity.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Breaking News
Bork to publicly oppose Kagan for Supreme Court.
McEwan to continue not giving a fuck what Bork thinks.
Monday Blogaround
Today's Blogaround is brought to you by Jango Fett in Comme des Garçons:
Image description: a fashion illustration of Star Wars character Jango Fett in casual designer clothing by Comme des Garçons, including a bright multi-colored sweater vest.
(This being the internet, there is of course an entire collection of Star Wars fashion illustrations, called He Wears It. Via The Selfish Seamstress.)
s.e. smith at FWD/Forward: US Signal Boost: New ADA & section 508 regulations – public comments due today June 21
Andy: 150 Protest Marine Gay Bashing, Hate Crimes In Savannah, GA
The Nation's 2010 Student Writing Contest asks, how has your education been compromised by budget cuts and tuition hikes? . The contest is open to high school and college students, including those receiving degrees in 2010. Entries accepted through June 30. Details at The Nation website. (H/T Racialicious)
There is discussion in parts of the science blogosphere lately about how work-life balance advice is usually offered only to female scientists, and calling upon male scientists to discuss how work-life balance problems affect them. A couple of men respond, including Prof-Like Substance: The balance and PalMD: How did we get here? See also Zuska's take on calls for bloggers to write about specific subjects.
Writer and Nobelist José Saramago has died at the age of 87. More from NPR: Jose Saramago, Nobel-Winning Novelist, Dies At 87
Please note that there are both compliments and criticisms to be offered of Saramago, and there is no deliberate intent or will to whitewash his life or work in this mention of his passing. More links and respectful discussion welcome in comments.
Writer/Activist Carlos Monsiváis has died at age 72. More from The Latin Americanist and Professor Zero.
Scott Gavura: The Science of Dosing Errors
Samia: How to choose a PhD project...?
Diandra Leslie-Pelecky at Cocktail Party Physics: things are often not what they seem to be...
Sew, Mama, Sew!: Enter the Make It, Wear It! Challenge! "Submit a photo of clothing you make this month in our Make It, Wear It! Challenge [...] You could win a SINGER sewing machine or a subscription to Ottobre."
Alexander Chee continues his June fiction serial, "You're Not From Around Here". See also parts 1 and 2.
This Is...
...the stupidest fucking thing I've read in a long time.
Seriously, can I get a gig writing "black is white, up is down" bullshit and get paid for it? This bozo's job consists of writing the same "what you think is true is actually the opposite!" column over and over and over, unless he's taking time out to write a "book" with the same theme. My first column will be: "The moon actually is made of green cheese!"
Thanks for those bootstraps, mom!
Discussion Thread: Defensive Condom
[Trigger warning for sexual violence.]
Several people have sent me this article about Rape-aXe (which used to be called Rapex, as those who participated in previous discussions here on the subject will recall), a female condom developed by Dr. Sonnet Ehlers which is lined with "jagged rows of teeth-like hooks" that attach the condom to a man's penis during penetration; rendering it removable only by a doctor. (To be clear: He can pull out; the sheath comes with him.)
The primary objective of the Rape-aXe is a deterrent, the hope being that men who know it exists will be less inclined to rape. And in South Africa—where Dr. Ehlers designed it in response to the country's urgent rape crisis, and where women desperate to protect themselves against rape will insert sponge-wrapped razor blades into their vaginas before venturing outside—some convicted rapists with whom Dr. Ehlers spoke say it may have deterred them.
I'm not particularly inclined to believe that; what I find more compelling is the secondary objective of serving as evidence of sexual assault, as doctors tasked with removing the object will be able to work with law enforcement to connect perpetrators with their crimes. Though, the cynical part of me wonders how long it would be before private removal of the Rape-aXe becomes its own cottage industry.
One of the arguments against the Rape-aXe is that it will lull women into a false sense of security, which I frankly find laughable; there's no sense of security to be had when you're walking around with a proxy vagina dentata in the fervent hope that, if you get raped, maybe the $2 apparatus in your cunt will help convict the asshole who did it.
And on the other end of the spectrum, there is the argument that the Rape-aXe necessarily keeps women in a heightened state of terror.
It's also a form of "enslavement," said Victoria Kajja, a fellow for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the east African country of Uganda. "The fears surrounding the victim, the act of wearing the condom in anticipation of being assaulted all represent enslavement that no woman should be subjected to."
Hmm. Well. That doesn't particularly resonate with me, either. I'm certain for some women, that could be true. But for others, it could feel empowering. Insert broken-recordery about how women aren't a monolith and all that.
Kajja said the device constantly reminds women of their vulnerability.
"It not only presents the victim with a false sense of security, but psychological trauma," she added. "It also does not help with the psychological problems that manifest after assaults."
The criticism which does resonate more strongly with me is that using the Rape-aXe could expose women to retributive violence, particularly since gang rape is prevalent in South Africa. If one guy is debilitated with the Rape-aXe during a gang rape, that leaves several other men to wreak immediate vengeance. And that is worrying.
Still, that concern must be balanced against the potential positives, which also include increased protection against the transmission of HIV/AIDS, another serious concern in South Africa.
Where does that leave me? On the fence.
I don't think the Rape-aXe is something I would personally opt to use, but it is certainly a tool I would support making available to other women.
And, in a broader sense, I wish we weren't having a conversation about an item that tasks women with rape prevention in the first place. Which is not a criticism of Dr. Ehlers, nor the women who might want to use the Rape-aXe, because they are dealing with an immediate reality of daily life. It's just so frustrating that all the discussable proposed solutions to a human rights violation as old as humankind are still so heavily skewed toward the victims of that crime, rather than its perpetrators.
Anyway, discuss.
Guess Who's Still An Enormous Douche
Comedic genius and all-around bigot Mike Huckabee wants you to know "The only thing worse than a torrid affair with sweet, sweet Nancy would be a torrid affair with Helen Thomas. If those were my only options, I'd probably be FOR same-sex marriage!" Har har!
He's joking! Of course! Because he is totally not for gay marriage. And why not? The ick factor! Duh!
"We can get into the ick factor, but the fact is two men in a relationship, two women in a relationship, biologically, that doesn't work the same," says Huckabee.
Also: Huckabee = biologically a genius! Because when a man sucks another man's dick, it is totes different, biologically, plus when a woman licks a woman's clit, biologically, it doesn't work the same! Ick!
Or something.
[Cross-posted.]
Q&A
Question: Would a male Supreme Court nominee be described as "brassy" in a headline by a major news outlet?
Answer: No. Because "brassy" means impudently, shamelessly, insolently, brazenly bold, and thus it is a gendered term, reserved almost exclusively in its use to describe women.
Men are just bold. Women, on the other hand, are brassy, bold in defiance of the expectation that they will not be.
If it's a compliment, it's a backhanded one.
[H/T to Shaker koach.]
