Billy Ocean: "When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going"
Is Mercury in WTF?
Is Zuh rising? Is OFFS aligned with Mars? There is a full moon of goofy in my inbox, and comments have been wild the past few days. LOL.
*consults fuckology charts*
Ahh, I see Trollus is in the seventh house. That explains it.
For Some Reason There's A New Smurfs Movie Coming Out
Paraphrased recap of video:
Star NPH says "Here's a Smurfy trailer." Cut to: Standard helicopter shot of waves crashing on beach. Cut to: The Sphinx. VO/On screen text "Prepare yourself." Whooshing sound as Sphinx turns blue. Cut to: Eiffel Tower. VO/OST: "For Something Big." Whooshing sound as Eiffel Tower turns blue. Cut to: Mt. Rushmore. VO/OST: "For Something Magical." Whooshing sound as Abe Lincoln turns blue. Cut to: Google maps zoom in on east coast of US. VO/OST: "Next Summer." Cut to: Times Square. VO: "Our World Is About To Get." Big blue graphic of the word "Smurf'd" falls from from the sky and lands in Times Square. A combination of the earworming Smurfs theme and Ton Loc's "Wild Thing" starts to play. Three confused Smurfs pop up in the foreground then quickly duck out of sight. OST: "In 3D." Cut to: Three Smurfs dangling off taxi cab advertisement for movie website.
Also, Smurfs Theme + Wild Thing = I've died and gone to Hell.
[Cross-posted.]
Compare and Contrast - Part 3
I read several articles at the NY Times site Monday which resonated together in my mind for a couple of reasons. I here conclude the exploration of those reasons which I began in Part 1 and continued in Part 2.
I ended Part 2 at the bottom of the hierarchy of sacrifices our Very Serious Persons so willingly make — the brown-skinned children of many countries who must be sacrificed to war in the cause of showing Them how tough We are, or who are simply swept aside when the ground is cleared for us to reap the rewards of our investments in other lands.
Which brings me to the third article I read in the Times on Monday which ended up twining itself in my mind into the two previously mentioned. There's a reason why this report on Afghanistan's potential mineral riches came from the U.S. military. The article quotes a Paul A. Brinkley, identified as "deputy undersecretary of defense for business." We have a deputy undersecretary of defense for business? Indeed.*
What isn't — perhaps — clear is why it's come just now since, as Rachel Maddow noted on her show Monday night, this information isn't new. Nor is it the case, as the Pentagon told the Times, that no one other than the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) geologists who did a comprehensive study of Afghan mineral deposits in 2007 "had bothered to look at the information." Maddow showed a USGS press release from 2007 which described that agency's 2007 assessment having been "unveiled" in November, 2007, at the 3rd annual U.S. - Afghan Business Matchmaking Conference organized by the Afghan-American Chamber of Commerce, in Washington, D.C.
It does seem to be the case that this is the first time ordinary Afghans (and USians) have been directly informed. A second Times article describes Afghan reporters excitedly calculating what each Afghan's share of the potential wealth to be produced by the mineral deposits might be, supposing each Afghan were to receive an equal share of the profits. That's a lovely supposition. I doubt that's the same speculation which was generated at the Pentagon by this trove.
The 2007 USGS press release said the assessment will "be used in rebuilding Afghanistan's natural resources sector, provide valuable new information to the global business and mining communities, and serve as a foundation for future work on areas of mineral resource potential." That second purpose is well underway. A Pentagon task force is "trying to help" the Afghans put in place a structure to handle the mineral development. "International accounting firms with expertise in mining contracts have been hired to consult with the Afghan Ministry of Mines." The Pentagon is also "helping" the Afghan government make arrangements to seek bids on the mineral rights.
Any number of other eyes have no doubt been drawn to this potential source of great wealth, from the Taliban, which was fighting to rule the country even before they knew it contained such treasure, to corrupt Afghan officials, to an Afghan neighbor. Says the Times:American officials fear resource-hungry China will try to dominate the development of Afghanistan’s mineral wealth, which could upset the United States, given its heavy investment in the region.
We have invested in this promising start-up; we can't leave 'til it is safely producing our dividends. And we advise you not to upset us. You wouldn't like us when we're upset.
There is a great deal of unease in U.S. political culture at present. Tea partiers, utterly oblivious to their privilege, are enraged at government intrusion into their lives while insistent on retaining every government benefit which accrues to them. If the Times Jeff Zeleny is to be believed, they have Democratic members of Congress lying low, hoping to meet with smaller, more select groups of constituents without providing a target, or a video-op, for the tea party activists who showed up at town hall meetings during Congressional recesses last year.
Those activists show no awareness that their "movement" is funded, promoted and, in part, organized, in a highly profitable loop, by the same people who have helped to create the economic insecurity the U.S. and other nations face, and whose shills are well-paid to persuade them of the lie that any financial vulnerability they feel is because their taxes are too high.
Democratic members of Congress may be avoiding unfiltered exposure to constituents, but George Bush "emboldened" Corporocratic politicians generally. He showed them that if you ignore relatively comfortable USians long enough, many will give up and go home — and all may seem to have done so. Because while you are ignoring them, the corporate press will ignore them right along with you.
Those in the press who aspire to Very Seriousness thought the spectacle of tens of thousands of earnest, middle- and working-class citizens engaging in mass protest against war was in very poor taste, so they did the respectable thing and averted their gaze. The sight of small numbers of raucous folks with tea bags dangling from their hats protesting against taxes, however, is fascinating. On the one hand, so delightfully tacky — what a giggle. On the other hand, these people are agitating for something which really matters — lower taxes for wealthy newscasters and their corporate owners.
President Obama, like his predecessors, has chosen to surround himself with a select group of Very Serious Persons. The Tea Partiers are funded by deadly serious persons. They are continually being roused by deeply unserious people whose every utterance they take seriously.
These people are not going home. The rallies may peter out, but the Very Serious Persons who use such forces for their own purposes are always in the game, and always All In — for a value of "all in" which corresponds to their values.
*Actually, Brinkley's Dept. of Defense biography identifies him as "Deputy Under Secretary of Defense, Director Task Force for Business and Stability Operations", and his area of concern originally seemed to the business structure of the Pentagon. But he moved on to transforming business in Iraq, and subsequently, Afghanistan.
On Medicine, Arbitrariness, and Transness
Do you know what one of the many things that bites about going to the doctor whilst trans is? Interpreting the results of medical tests.
Medical types divide the world into two arbitrary groups, men and women. They then proceed to treat each as a separate population, and arbitrarily decide which ranges of which measurements constitute healthy, not-quite healthy, and in need of expensive pills.
Thankfully, my doctors and I are typically in agreement that I'm a woman. However, I'm not sure how many women in said population have gone through puberty twice. This might skew the validity of arbitrary conclusions about my health.
I'm sure many folks can think of other analogous situations.
Boosting the Signal: Refugee and Migrant Justice UK
by Shaker A. Lee
[My sincerest thanks to Melissa for allowing me the opportunity to write this guest post.]
Refugee and Migrant Justice is a UK charity dedicated to offering legal aid to asylum seekers in Britain. They provide advice and representation for migrants attempting to navigate an unfamiliar system, among them child refugees and victims of torture and trafficking. I'm not here to proselytise for RMJ, but suffice to say that the threatened loss of the organisation would leave many very vulnerable people in the lurch.
Why is the organisation under threat? Yesterday, RMJ had to go into administration, and the future of the charity is now unclear. It's not lack of money that's the issue, but a government policy that's led to a severe cash-flow problem. A policy put in place by the last government, and being maintained by the new coalition, means that payment of legal aid to the charity is sometimes delayed for years. As a charity, it's just about impossible for RMJ to cover their costs with this delayed-payment system.
As their website explains:The problem is that the Legal Services Commission, which funds legal aid work, has changed its payment scheme. We used to get paid monthly to cover the work we do. But now, we get paid only after each case has closed, which depends on the timing of Home Office and tribunal decisions. Asylum cases can take months, or even years, but RMJ still faces the cost of doing the work. No charity can be expected to wait that long for payment and no private sector organisation will be able to replace RMJ's outstanding commitment to those with the greatest needs. As a charity, it is also not possible for us to get bank loans.
So here's the call to teaspoons: Letters asking the government to work to change the payment system, or to back loans to tide charities over between payments, can be sent to
RMJ is not asking for extra money, just for the Legal Services Commission to pay us the money it owes us or, failing that, give Government backed interest free loans to make up the difference. The new Government is committed to a fundamental review of legal aid and this is the perfect opportunity to cut out inefficiency and pay providers like RMJ promptly and fairly.The Secretary of State for Justice, Kenneth Clarke MP
One can download a form letter from RMJ at this link. (This link also lists email addresses to which to write, for those for whom that's the better option.)
Ministry of Justice
102 Petty France
London SW1H 0AL
UK-based Shakers can also send a copy to their local MPs. (You can find your local MPs here by punching in your postcode.)
Happily, the threat to RMJ has been getting media attention. (Here, for instance, is yesterday's article from The Guardian.) However, it's my firm belief that it's the grass-roots movers, Shakers, and teaspooners who can really get the ball rolling on things like this. Getting the word out and making some noise is important on this one—not just for RMJ's sake, but to set a precedent for how charities in general are to be treated here under our new government as it looks to cut expenses.
(Disclaimer: I do not work for, nor am I officially affiliated with, RMJ. I am an "economic immigrant" to the UK, but one born into the massive privilege of EU membership.)
Suspicously Sitting While Black and Autistic
[Trigger warning for violence.]
Via Feministe comes this HuffPo post about an 18-year-old African-American young man with Aspergers, who was assaulted, arrested, and is presently institutionalized as a result of suspicious sitting behavior.
Reginald 'Neli' Latson was sitting on the grass under a tree, early one morning, in front of the library, waiting for it to open. About 400 feet from where he sat was an elementary school where kids were arriving to start the school day. Someone from that school called police shortly after 8:30 a.m. to report "a suspicious person sitting outside the library, possibly in possession of a gun". There does not seem to have been any reason for the caller's suspicion that Neli had a gun in his possession (he didn't), nor does there seem to have been anything "suspicious" about Neli other than his complexion.
This call set in motion a cascading series of events in which police ordered eight schools locked down; Neli, who did not know police had been called, tired of his wait and moved on toward the nearby high school; he was confronted by a County Sheriff's deputy who also worked for the school district; and a physical struggle ensued between Neli and the deputy.
Neli says the officer threatened him; he tried to walk away, and the officer grabbed him from behind, choked him, and sprayed him with pepper spray. Neli took the pepper spray from the deputy and, according to the police report, sprayed him in return and fled. The deputy sustained a broken ankle which required surgery.
The police say Neli "attacked and assaulted the deputy for no apparent reason." That seems rather against the odds, given that Neli was not expecting any trouble, while the deputy was actively looking for a suspicious, possibly armed, person meeting Neli's description. Of the two, the one primed for aggression was the deputy. But perhaps, purely by coincidence, Neli "attacked and assaulted" the deputy "for no apparent reason."
The story gets worse from there. Neli was charged with malicious wounding of a law enforcement officer, assault and battery of a law enforcement officer, and knowingly disarming a police officer in performance of his official duties. When Neli's mother, Lisa Alexander, reported him missing several hours later, she learned he was in custody and being questioned.
Police would not tell her why, would not allow her to see her son, and seemed uninterested when told Neli is autistic. They held the young man in isolation for 11 days without bail, allowing his mother to visit him only once.
His condition has deteriorated considerably during his incarceration, according to his mother. He has been transferred to a state mental hospital for a 30-day evaluation period. Ms. Alexander has set up a web site, A Voice for Neli. There, his mother tells a bit of the story of Neli's life and of her and her husband's struggle to secure for him the services and educational support he needed.
Lisa Alexander is searching for legal representatives for her son who have a good understanding of his circumstances. She is also asking that people sign this petition, which she hopes to use to interest national radio shows and/or TV news networks in reporting her son's story. The local news reports which have been printed thus far have come from the police.
As of 5:36 a.m. PDT (US time) there were 317 signatures on the petition. Ms. Alexander is hoping for at least 1000.
Rush Limbaugh is a Flagitious, Pernicious, Baneful, Noxious, Moral Horror Show
It seems Rush came across this AOL news story: Record Number of US Kids Facing Summer of Hunger. The article says that more than 16 million kids who relied on free or discount school lunches during the school year will go hungry through the summer.
Rush was outraged. He was disgusted. "God, this is just — we can't escape these people." How could they? How could they think that these millions of kids' parents "are so rotten that they will let their kids go hungry and starve, unless the schools take care of it"?
Thankfully, there's a bright side, Rush reassured his listeners.
You know, one of the benefits of school being out, in addition to your kids losing weight because they're starving to death out there because there's no school meal being provided, one of the benefits of school being out, college campi being vacant this time of year, is that our audience levels go up.This beneficial event could permit the ever-compassionate Limbaugh to help out on the hunger front by adding a new segment to his show on Where to Find Food, he muses. Rush's suggestions, both entertaining and practical, start with the cupboards and fridges in the kids' own homes, where
most likely you're going to find Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, Lays ridgy potato chips, all kinds of dips and maybe a can of corn that you don't want, but it will be there.Not digging those goodies, kids? Try McDonalds — hell, dial 911 and ask for Obama!
Finally, if these picky eaters can't satisfy their little bellies by following any of those amusing suggestions, there's always dumpster-diving from now 'til school is back in session, advises Rush. You needn't thank him for providing these public-spirited tips. He's only too pleased to do it.
Media Matters has the audio/video from Limbaugh's radio show — if you can stomach it.
(Via the raw story)
[Commenting Note: Comments including swipes at Limbaugh's appearance or addiction will be in violation of the commenting policy and thus deleted.]
Top Chef Open Thread
Chef Tom Colicchio will drink. your. milkshake!!!
He will also serve you up his special wienerschnitzel, if you ask nicely.
Rights Rally in Québec Tomorrow
Shaker CaitlinMac alerts us to the fact that there will be a gathering in front of the Montreal office of the Director of Civil Status of Québec tomorrow, Thursday, June 17, starting at 3:30 p.m., in support of more appropriate access to legal change of name and sex designation for trans-identified people in Québec.
The Trans Commission of PolitiQ-Queers Solidaires, along with other groups sponsoring the action, are inviting all allies in the trans, queer, feminist, lesbian, gay, bisexual, anti-racist, left, etc. communities to come and join them. This will be the first event of its kind in Québec, and they are hoping for a large turnout.
Currently, Canadian citizens in Québec who want to change the designation of sex on their birth certificate must either live five years from the time of application with the difficulties and dangers imposed by documents which do not reflect their true gender and chosen name, or they must receive a diagnosis of 'gender identity disorder' from a psychiatrist and undergo “medical treatments and surgical operations involving a structural modification of sexual organs intended to change [their] sexual characteristics”.
The changes required to meet the medical/surgical reassignment definition necessarily impose sterilization on those undergoing the procedures. This is an outrageously discriminatory process to impose on transgender and intersex people who merely wish to have their official documents accurately list their gender and name. And of course, the medical/surgical route is not even available to many because of the expense.
Activists want the following:
• Access to legal change of name without excessive delay, similar to the regulations in force in all other Canadian provinces.
• Access to legal change of sex designation without compulsory medical treatments (operations or hormone therapy), based on the recommendation of a professional (a list of professionals can be drawn up in consultation with the concerned communities), following the example of Spain and the United Kingdom.
• Access to legal change of name and sex designation for non-citizens of Canada who have lived in Québec for one year.
• Access to legal change of trans people’s sex as designated on the birth certificate of children born to them before transition.
• A clear description, published on the website of the Director of Civil Status of Québec, of the procedures for legal change of name and sex designation for trans-identified people.
The address of the office of the Director of Civil Status is 2050, De Bleury, at the corner of Président-Kennedy (metro Place-des-Arts). If you're going to be within range of that location tomorrow afternoon, consider making a little history.
H/T to CaitieCat
Question of the Day
In addition to the narrative fail I addressed in my earlier post, and other issues that I'm sure will come up in comments, The Orphan also was an insult to my intellect and taste. Even if it hadn't been ethically objectionable, it would have sucked as a thriller. It was like someone put every thriller that's been made in the last decade into a Derivative Device and spat out a big hunk of Hackneyed Hamburger.
What's the last movie you saw that was just garbage, just terribly made, regardless of its ideology?
Impossibly Beautiful
Julia Roberts is the new face of Lancôme:
Too bad they didn't bother using her actual face, which, in case you've forgotten, looks like this:
Cast member Julia Roberts attends the premiere of "Valentine's Day" at the Grauman's Chinese theatre in Hollywood, California February 8, 2010. The movie opens in the U.S. on February 12. [Reuters]Insert everything I've already said in 41 previous posts about this insidious horseshit the sole purpose of which is to make us feel shitty about ourselves so we buy more crap in a futile, unwinnable game.
She is 42 years old. She is beautiful. Lancôme, these facts are not mutually exclusive: Let her be beautiful and visibly 42.
------------------------
By way of reminder: Comments that try to suss out what changes, exactly, were made, and even comments noting that, for example, the removal of laugh lines because they are ZOMG wrinkles actually robs a face of its character or humanity, are welcome. Discussions of how "she looks handsomer/hotter/better in the candid picture" and associated commentary (which would certainly make me feel like shit if I were the person being discussed) are not. So please comment in keeping with the series' intent, implicit in which is the question: If no one can ever be beautiful enough, then to what end is the pursuit of an elusive perfection?
[Impossibly Beautiful: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41.]
Barf.
"When it comes to their health, men are the weaker sex:..."
That's the opening line for the linked article. Quite an exemplary show of FAIL there saying that on one this one issue men are the "weaker sex". So, you know, on every other issue women are the weak ones. Or something.
More FAIL:
About 57% of men have visited the doctor within the past year, compared with about 74% of women, according to surveys by the federal Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ). Black and Hispanic men are even less likely than white men to have routine checkups. At the same time, men are hospitalized at significantly higher rates than women for preventable conditions such as congestive heart failure and complications of diabetes and pneumonia that can be prevented with a vaccination.Right in the middle of the above paragraph, in an article that's about an ad campaign based, generally, on the premise that "men are failures at taking responsibility for their own health and won't take care of themselves!" (slight paraphrase but, really, that's rather the idea behind it), is thrown in the line about Black and Hispanic men not having routine care, without any context about why Black and Hispanic men might face (more) challenges to get routine health check-ups.
Bonus FAIL:
"Most men who are young think they are immortal, and unless they've gone to war they never feel their lives are at risk," says heart surgeon Mehmet Oz, whose medical TV show and website, doctoroz.com, will promote the campaign and link to the ads. In addition to targeting men, he says, the aim is to persuade families to nudge them into getting checkups.So it goes back to someone else taking care of the men who apparently can't/won't take care of themselves. Great campaign. Or something.
Barf. Again.
Just. No.
[Spoiler warning for The Orphan. Trigger warning for sexual assault.]
So, last night, me and my broheim Jake wasted two hours of our time on this precious earth sitting in my room watching the 2009 megahit The Orphan, which, you may recall from Liss' post when it came out, is a trainwreck.
To summarize: The film is about a couple who adopt an orphan, a young girl who turns out to be a scary tormentor to her adopted siblings and mother, as well as a scary seductress who wants to revenge-murder her adopted father when he won't "sleep with" her. In the end, it is revealed that she is a 33-year-old woman with dwarfism who escaped from an Eastern European mental institution and poses as a precocious young lady in order to try to have sex with dads. For real. She's got a scrapbook of dads she's tried to fuck? has fucked? and everything.
Now, here's the thing: Basically, you spend half the movie thinking "OMG this little girl is sexually propositioning an adult man," but then there's a big reversal at the end of the film revealing she's an adult—which I guess? is supposed to make you feel better about the sexualization of a child, except then you remember the character is being portrayed by an actual child. Ugh.
I don't even know how to verbalize my rage about this movie.
What I just can't understand is how the heck a project that is basically the answer to the never-asked question "What if we made a film that's like a fantasy for men who want to be child-rapists and the only thing holding them back is the lack of people with dwarfism posing as children?" gets greenlighted in the first place.
You know, I complain a lot about Hollywood not having any original ideas, but if this is the sort of thing we can expect if they stop churning out remakes and sequels, maybe I could learn to love Beverly Hills Cop 12.
America's Got More Talent
I wasn't, as I was when Prince Poppycock made his debut, watching "America's Got Talent" when Alice Tan Ridley's audition aired last night. But I'm sure as hell glad I saw it today:
[Alice Tan Ridley, a middle-aged black woman, sings "At Last," the lyrics to which can be read here.]
Talent runs in this American family: Alice Tan Ridley is Gabby Sidibe's mum.
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Faggotown Sundries: Official supplier of the finest leather harnesses to his Excellency, Mayor Gashleycrumb. Now with matching hats!
stuff white people do: quotation of the week (w.e.b. du bois)
— macon d has an excerpt from Du Bois' essay The Souls of White Folk
Body Love Wellness: A Dose of Reality: My Exclusive Interview With Biggest Loser Finalist, Kai Hibbard (Part 2 of 3)
— Golda Poretsky interviews a finalist from the reality show. TW for discussion of eating disorders, and also for fat hatred.
Last week's Part 1 of the interview is here, with Part 3 to come. Poretsky has posted both audio of the interview and a transcript.
Womanist Musings: Why I Won't Be Your Resource
— Renee explains it. Again. Book mark this one; sooner or later, you're going to want to send it to someone. And while you're there, you can check out her handsome new blog design.
FWD/Forward: Disability in Pop Culture: I know where the Black Stork Comes From
— Time for a fresh approach, Pop Culture makers 'cause, along with Anna, we're all tired of playing Disability Cliché Bingo.
Towleroad: German Court To Recognize Gay 'Partnership' But Not 'Marriage'
— Andy brings us news from Germany. Half a homoloaf — not all that tasty.
The Mongoose Chronicles: Newsclips and Quotes [Strange New Phenomena]
— Mar discovers a huge heap o' fail in a small newspaper item.
Family Inequality: Lifestyles of the 4X-poverty set
— Phil Cohen charts, by financial class, behaviors which some say are linked to character, with explanatory illustrations.
ETA: All together now, Shakers: Maud! Fer fuck's sake, remember to encourage people to drop links in comments!!!!eleventy!! (Yes, knitmeapony, this is a fine place for your info, and thanks for the inadvertent reminder :)
Perfect. Excellent Improvement on a Classic.
You know that old childhood chestnut invoked while making Very Important Promises, "Cross your heart and hope to die"...? Well, it's new and improved, bitchez!—care of an awesome new Kate Hudson vehicle about a lady who fucks her BFF's fiancé, the script for which the Jezebels got their hot little hands on:
"We'll still be best friends, right?"Awesome. A fate even worse than death!
"Of course!"
"Cross your heart, hope to get fat?"
[Related Reading: Today in Fat Hatin'.]
Dueling Quotes of the Day
"It is an example that markets, cultures are very different around the world. I've never shied away from the fact that I'm a Christian. I have my own personal beliefs, and I don't impose those on anybody else. I've been in countries where the majority of the people in the country don't believe in a deity, or they may be atheist. Or the majority of the country is Muslim. Or it may be the majority is much younger skewed. So, when you look at all these differences, it's not that I'm to be the judge or the jury relative to right or wrong. Having said that, at McDonald's, there are core values we stand for, and the world is getting much closer. So, we have a lot of conversations. We're going to make some mistakes at times. [We talk] about things that may have an implication in one part of the world and may be the cultural norm in another part of the world. And those are things that, yes, we're going to learn from. But you're right, that commercial won't show in the United States." — Don Thompson, Chief of Operations for McDonald's on the French ad featuring a young gay man, about which Misty posted here.
"Perfect. It's weird this genius isn't Operations Chief of the World!" — Gabe, on that dude's totes bullshit.
