"Hezbollah is laughing at us, tonight."—Conservative commentator and renowned genius Debbie Schlussel, on the occasion of Lebanese-American Rima Fakih (Miss Michigan) having been crowned Miss USA last night.
Daily Dose o' Cute
Seriously, how am I supposed to get any work done, when I've got this tremendous display of irresistible cuteness lying right in front of me?
"Rub my belleh!"
Resistance is futile. Of course I had to rub the belleh! What have I got—a heart of fucking stone?!
[Bonus Dudz below…]
It's so cold and rainy here today. I could not coax Dudz out of his bed for his midday potty, and getting him outside was like pulling teeth. (He's lazy enough on a sunny day, no less when it's pissing down outside!) We both got all rained on when we went out, and when we came in, I dried him off and he crawled up in his little bed. He still looked all shivery, so I covered him with a blanket.
"Thank you, Two-Legs!"
He's now tucked his head under the blanket and is fast asleep.
Care of CNN...
Your quarterly nooz story about (straight) women partnering with (straight) men who are less educated and/or make less money.
Oh the horror, etc.
[H/T to Iain.]
Just Seen at Target
Following up on SKM's post, I thought I'd share something I just saw at Target.
Cool, whatever. Not sure who most of those people are on the cover, but hey, I'm not the target demographic, right?
Nonetheless, I peeked inside:
Oh, okay. I guess nothing gets celebrity nooz junkies hot like a Yves Montand puzzle.
p.s. And just FYI, "Wages of Fear" was one of the clues.
I Would Like to Say This Is Unbelievable...
...but of course it is eminently, rage-makingly believable:
A Catholic nun and longtime administrator of St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix was reassigned in the wake of a decision to allow a pregnancy to be ended in order to save the life of a critically ill patient.What was the action, exactly? It was terminating an 11-week pregnancy with the patient's consent because the patient "had a rare and often fatal condition in which a pregnancy can cause the death of the mother."
The decision also drew a sharp rebuke from Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, head of the Phoenix Diocese, who indicated the woman was "automatically excommunicated" because of the action.
The choice here, to be crystal clear, was terminate the pregnancy, or let the woman die, naturally taking the fetus with her.
James J. Walter, professor of bioethics at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, a Catholic university ... said a pregnancy may be terminated only in limited, indirect circumstances, such as uterine cancer, in which the cancer treatment takes the life of the fetus.Which really isn't much of a fucking answer, now, is it?
Catholic teaching, he said, is that a pregnancy cannot be terminated as a means to an end of saving the life of a mother who is suffering from a different condition.
Asked if the church position prefers the mother and child to die, rather than sparing the life of one of them, Walters said the hope is that both would survive.
[Thanks to everyone who passed this along.]
Feel the Homomentum!
From the New York Daily News: "New York City clerk's offices will soon conduct civil ceremonies for gay couples."
Cool, eh?
"Sounds like a small step in the right direction," said Joseph Hagelmann, president of the Stonewall Democratic Club in Manhattan. "But we're not going to be happy until we have full marriage equality."Baby steps, I guess.
Registering as a same-sex domestic partner is not the same as gay marriage - which the state Senate nixed last year - but it does convey some legal benefits, especially if one partner is a city employee.
[H/T to Shaker Bruno.]
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman (Liss) and a biracial queerbait (Deeky) telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Dale Peterson is a Great American
All right, you collection of tree-hugging limousine liberals, pinko Commies, dope fiends, queerbaits, ladyboys, fat chicks, feminazi castrators, and assorted freaks: You wanna talk about campaign ads? Let's talk about campaign ads.
Specifically, let's talk about how this campaign ad is the Greatest Campaign Ad ever made since Adam rode a dinosaur out of the Garden of Eden and into this wild, woolly world of ours. Watching this ad brings a goddamn tear to my eye, and that hasn't happened since those liberal bastards canceled "The Dukes of Hazzard."
I told my stepmom Cheryl last night that this ad makes me want to move to Alabama just so's I can vote for Dale Peterson. She said that was a good idea, but I think it's more just 'cuz she's tired of me selling weed and ammo out of the garage.
Anyway, this is what a Great American looks like. Take note, traitors. Pornstache: Out.
[Transcript by your oh-so-sensitive ringleader below.]
[The ad opens with a shot of Peterson's Marines pin and dogtags lying on a reproduction of the Constitution; orchestral music that wouldn't sound out of place in a Ken Burns documentary or Glory swells. Cut to Dale, who is a white man wearing a cowboy hat, sunglasses, a button-down shirt, and dungarees, riding a horse in a field on a sunny day.][Previously by Butch Pornstache: Happy Taxes and Teabags Day, I'm a Proud Teabagger and Real American, Men and Trucks and Shit, Cats and Shit, Books and Cupcakes and Shit, Ron Swanson Kicks Butt.]
Peterson: I'm Dale Peterson, and I'm after the Republican nomination for Alabama Agriculture Commissioner. [Peterson gets down off the horse.] I've been a farmer, a businessman, a cop, a marine during Vietnam, so listen up! [Peterson takes off his sunglasses.] Alabama Ag Commissioner is one of the most powerful positions in Alabama, responsible for five billion dollars. Bet you didn't know that! You know why? Thugs and criminals! If they can keep you in the dark, they can do whatever they want with all that money! And they don't give a rip about Alabama!
Here we are, losing three family farms a day, illegals bust in by the thousands, and Alabama's unemployment's at an all-time high. And what are my opponents doing about it? Stealing yard signs in the night from my supporters!
Norman Grace brags on his Facebook page about receiving contributions from industries he would regulate. Bragging about receiving illegal money on Facebook! [inexplicable close-up of horse's face] Who on earth would support such a dummy?! And why?! [back to Peterson, who's just pulled out a rifle] We're Republicans—we should be better than that!
I'm Dale Peterson. I'll name names and take no prisoners. [he swings the rifle around] Give me the Republican nomination for Ag Commish and let's show Alabama we mean business!
A 21st-Century Fox?
File under Wonders, Unceasing: Fox News publishes an editorial saying the War on Drugs might, might, mind you, have been a less than perfect idea by the Blessed Saint Nixon1, Father Mighty Whitey on the Drug War trail, and that Ronny Ray-gun's2 law-enforcement-centred budget bump might have been somewhat ill-considered, and that (gasp) the additional billions thrown at the problem by the Kings George (I3 and II4) and Slick Willie5 may have exceeded their imperial reach.
That spending untold billions of dollars to absolutely no effect might, possibly, in some uncharitably liberal light, be seen to be an imperfect, not to say completely pointless, approach to the illegal drug "problem".
We here at Shakesville would like to welcome Fox News to the 21st Century, and hope that they will enjoy their stay in...well, the modern world. We'd like to think they'll stay in the 21st, but we know it's really hard for them to avoid digging into that nostalgic wellspring of good non-exploitative government, the Victorian Age, as predicated by their Great Prophet, Karl Rove.
1 A white cis man, apparently hetero and TAB.
2 A white cis man, apparently hetero and TAB.
3 A white cis man, apparently hetero and TAB.
4 A white cis man, apparently hetero and TAB. Anyone sensing a theme here?
5 Do I even need to say it? A white cis man, apparently hetero and TAB.
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, producers of OFFS: The Deeky W. Gashlycrumb Story.
Recommended Reading:
Marcella: Carnival Against Sexual Violence 94
Melissa: "A Life-Changing Amount of Money" [TW]
Resistance: We Are America
Lisa: Condoms for Kids (These would protect both boys and girls, methinks.)
Kevin: What About Teh Dad?
Andy: This Weekend's 'Great Global Kiss-In' [video]
Deeky: Seen
Leave your links in comments...
All That Was Missing from the Polanski Story...
...was definitely: But what does Woody Allen think? [Trigger warning.]
The controversy surrounding fugitive film-maker Roman Polanski on Saturday drew strong words in his defence from fellow director Woody Allen after fresh allegations that he abused a minor.Oh, right. I forgot how the child rapist is a nice person, and how child rape doesn't matter if you're an artist. Forget it, Jake. It's Moralrelativismtown.
...Allen, 74, said Polanski, who is fighting extradition from Switzerland to the United States to face sentencing in a 1977 child sex case, had paid a high price for his actions and that it was time to draw a line under the case.
"It's something that happened many years ago... he has suffered.... He has paid his due," Allen told French radio station RTL.
"He's an artist, he's a nice person, he did something wrong and he paid for it. They (his critics) are not happy unless he pays the rest of his life. They would be happy if they could execute him in a firing squad," he said.
"Enough is enough," he added.
As one of Polanski's "critics," I'll just note once again that Polanski did not, in fact, "pay his due," but skipped town specifically to avoid "paying his due," and, despite the absurd memes evidently floating around the entertainment industry that Polanski's been banned from the US by virtue of some exorbitant and extraordinary retributive gesture by the provincial and puritanical California government, the reason he's been "in exile" from the US is because he's a fucking fugitive.
I don't want him executed and his "paying for the rest of his life" would bring me no goddamn happiness. I would only like for the same justice that I would want to see in any case—and the reason this has gone on for 32 years is because Polanski himself has avoided that justice for all that time.
To turn his critics into insatiable witch-hunters is not merely spectacularly unfair, but an assertion predicated on ignoring Polanski's responsibility in this situation.
Which, granted, is hardly surprising from someone defending a child rapist.
Meanwhile, I love this:
Another of 76-year-old Polanski's prominent defenders, French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy, also spoke out, rejecting the new allegations by British actress Charlotte Lewis, while Cannes Film Festival president Gilles Jacob said no one was above the law.Oh, well, if world champion child rape apologist Bernard-Henri Levy says the allegations are untrue, they must be!
Because, as everyone knows, in a rape culture, surviving rape renders you irrevocably compromised on the subject of rape, but defending rapists turns you into a goddamn bastion of objectivity.
Forget it, Jake. It's Rapeculturetown.
Hey, Senator Evan Bayh...
It's a big bag of shut up.
I hope it will help you keep your stupid fucking AIDS "jokes" to yourself.
So I'm walking through the airport and people were kinda being nice and making eye contact and a couple come up and say hello. This one person runs up all excited and I'm prepared to say "Hello," and he says, "Senator Bayh! Senator Bayh!"And that goes double for your pathetic justifications. No, voting "for AIDS funding and all sorts of things" and supporting "all sorts of things in terms of equality and lifestyle and that sort of thing" (which is a bullshit claim to make when you don't even support marriage equality) does not entitle you to make punny "jokes" about having AIDS/aides. Cripes.
I said, "Well, yes?" and he looked at me and said, "Do you have AIDS?" [nervous laughter and gasps from the audience] I said, "Huh?" He said, "Yeah. Do you have AIDS?" I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say. He said, "I've got a letter I want to give you, do you have someone I can hand this to? Do you have an aide with you?" [audience laughter] So you never know what people are going to say. [audience laughter]
Seriously, good riddance, you bozo.
Btw, a special shout-out of steely contempt to Indiana state Democratic party chair Dan Parker who said the Indiana Stonewall Democrats, who walked out of the dinner at which the joke was delivered, were "overreacting" and that any offense was "obviously unintentional."
Blog Note
I'm getting lots of emails about commenting again this morning, so I figured it was time for another update...
If comments aren't loading for you, or they're loading looking "weird" again, or if you're getting an error message when you try to leave a comment, you're not alone.
Again, I apologize for the inconvenience. It is, unfortunately, out of our hands.
And, as very soon as we are able, we will increase the text size of comments, which I know remains frustratingly small.
Just Seen on eBay
"We got 'em! All the Elvis Presley satin blanket bindings you need!"
What, you mean you're fresh out? 'Cause I think "none" is all I need. Or is it? Be right back--have blankets to make!
Oil Spill Update
Scientists are finding enormous oil plumes in the deep waters of the Gulf of Mexico, including one as large as 10 miles long, 3 miles wide and 300 feet thick in spots. The discovery is fresh evidence that the leak from the broken undersea well could be substantially worse than estimates that the government and BP have given.Yes. That is alarming.
"There's a shocking amount of oil in the deep water, relative to what you see in the surface water," said Samantha Joye, a researcher at the University of Georgia who is involved in one of the first scientific missions to gather details about what is happening in the gulf. "There's a tremendous amount of oil in multiple layers, three or four or five layers deep in the water column."
The plumes are depleting the oxygen dissolved in the gulf, worrying scientists, who fear that the oxygen level could eventually fall so low as to kill off much of the sea life near the plumes.
Dr. Joye said the oxygen had already dropped 30 percent near some of the plumes in the month that the broken oil well had been flowing. "If you keep those kinds of rates up, you could draw the oxygen down to very low levels that are dangerous to animals in a couple of months," she said Saturday. "That is alarming."
Estimates now top out at the possibility that 80,000 barrels a day (3,360,000 gallons a day) are leaking into the ocean. Sob.
International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia
Today is the International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia, which was "launched with the idea of creating a worldwide community of activists and committed people, sharing the ideal of a world without homophobia nor transphobia in which everyone can freely live their sexual orientation and the gender identity they wish to live in."
Like many days which mark the advocacy for social justice (International Human Rights Day, Blog Against Sexism Day, Blog for Choice Day, Day of Silence...), I feel the best way I can honor this day is to reaffirm my commitment to being an ally and working my teaspoon to contribute whatever I can not just on this day, but on every day.
Support for sex, gender, and sexual orientation equality is and has always been central to my feminism. It's not just because lesbians, bisexual women, and trans women are my sisters, but because the rights of gay men, bisexual men, trans men, and cis, trans, and intersex androgynes to live a life on their own terms, too, to define themselves and express their sexualities and do with their bodies whatever they want, is inextricable from my ideal of a fluid sex, gender, and sexuality spectrum along which all people might exist free from harassment, marginalization, and violence.
It's because ladies wearing trousers in my country was once a scandal, and still is in other places in the world. (Not to knock ladies who don't want to wear trousers, but damn it if every lady shouldn't have the right.) How one dresses one's body, or wears one's hair, or decorates one's skin, is intimately related to issues of equality, to freedoms denied, to lives lost, because of deeply entrenched prejudices about nonconformity.
What do a trouser ban and a Ugandan law criminalizing homosexuality with a death sentence have in common? Well, sort of everything.
We all must have the freedom to be who we are—who were we born, who we choose to be—and the freedom to express ourselves and live our lives without the menace of prejudice. And not the kind of freedom in patriotic hymns written and sung by the privileged, not the faux freedom reflexively invoked in rightwing rhetoric, but a real freedom—the kind of freedom that allows every person to walk down the street with dignity and without fear, the freedom to live big and live whole.
Autonomy. Consent. Choice. My rights end where yours begin.
These are not mere words and phrases, but the governing concepts of how I approach the world. And the people in it. Because of that, I cannot understand a feminism in which "sharing the ideal of a world without homophobia nor transphobia in which everyone can freely live their sexual orientation and the gender identity they wish to live in" isn't a central tenet. And so I'm gonna keep working my teaspoon.
All in.
Doctor Who Open Thread S5E05: Flesh and Stone
Alright, Shaker Whovians, don't blink - don't. even. blink.
Right? Right. No pictures of angels this week, I don't want them to spread. Heh.
This week's discussion will concern Season 5, Episode 5: Flesh and Stone. Note that the discussion will have spoilers for any and all Doctor Who up to and including that episode.
Please note also that spoilers for any episode beyond that point are off-topic, and will be edited by the mods as soon as possible. Reading is fundamental, my dears: the first two threads have had some spoilers brought in each time.
Please respect your fellow Shakers' desire not to have their viewing experience tarnished by foreknowledge; there are many, many places on the web in which you can discuss the show on a more urgent schedule. Though we are all aware that the BBC in the UK is showing the episodes about two weeks ahead of this, our Open Thread schedule was chosen to accommodate the greatest possible number of Shakers, and follows the schedule of BBC America in the US, and Space in Canada.
Dudz at the Dog Park
A montage of Dudley going wild at the dog park, set to "Weapon of Choice," by Fatboy Slim.
(Also at DailyMotion here.)
