Dear English-Speaking World:
Please stop using the phrase "Joe's a man's man," effective immediately.
When you use that odious idiom, you are implicitly suggesting that any man who is not in Joe's peer group, by virtue of, say, his sexual orientation, gender expression, lack of the requisite physical aptitude for team sports, love of Luigi Illica librettos, and/or aversion to bullying, is also not a man.
And we can all see how silly that is, now, can't we?
If you mean to communicate that a particular man is very popular with other men who are just like him, then you can say: "Joe is very popular with other men who are just like him."
If you mean to communicate that a particular man is very popular with lots of different kinds of men, then you can say: "Joe is very popular with lots of different kinds of men."
If, upon consideration, you realize that Joe is popular not just with men at all, but with women, too, and not just in that "ladies' man" kind of way, then you can say: "Joe is very popular."
And if, upon consideration, you realize that what you meant to communicate all along is that Joe is an embodiment of the stereotype of a straight, white, beer-guzzling, sports-obsessed, dodo-brained, porn-loving homophobe who substitutes rape jokes for a real sense of humor and claims he can use the n-word because his college roommate was black, then you can say: "Joe is a douche."
Thank you and have a nice day.
Love,
Liss
P.S. Ixnay the use of "ladies' man," too. Thanks.
[Originally published November 24, 2008.]
I Write Letters
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker Phledge: What's the most profound way in which your mind has been changed? How did that happen?
Certainly the most profound way in which my mind has been changed is that I was raised to be a god-believer, and once was (at least ostensibly, although I'm not sure it ever really "took"), but I am now an atheist. How did that happen? THE DEVIL, that's how!
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Good
Wal-Mart to Face Massive Class Action Suit:
A sharply divided federal appeals court on Monday exposed Wal-Mart Stores Inc. to billions of dollars in legal damages when it ruled a massive class action lawsuit alleging gender discrimination over pay for female workers can go to trial.I'm sure you'll be positively SHOCKED to hear that Wal-Mart has been "fiercely" fighting the lawsuit since it was first brought in 2001. Their novel argument, which was rejected by the court, was that "the number of litigants that the lawsuit purports to represent is too big to defend."
In its 6-5 ruling, the 9th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals said the world's largest private employer will have to face charges that it pays women less than men for the same jobs and that female employees receive fewer promotions and have to wait longer for those promotions than male counterparts.
We've discriminated against SO MANY WOMEN you can't possibly let this case go forward!
Fail.
[H/T to Shaker SamanthaB.]
Quote of the Day
"What has [Obama] done that is different? I think he's done exactly what George Bush was doing, except to the times of a thousand. I mean we're talking about a progressive. And George Bush was a progressive. It's the difference between a steam train and the space shuttle."—Professional dipshit Glenn Beck.
I want to live on the planet where we've had two progressive presidents in the row.
Or even one.
Huh, Part the Wev
Well, it's been a whole month since the last "We Expected Hillary Rodham Clinton to Be a Wild Psycho-Bitch But It Turns Out She's Kinda Awesome" Story, so we were overdue for another one.
Unlike the WaPo, which couldn't discern the "unifying vision" of Clinton's leadership, the Independent notes:
She may be a diplomat now, but remains a politician too – a very accomplished one. Unlike her predecessors, with the possible exception of Powell, Hillary has a global name recognition that enables her to speak not just to her peers in the chancelleries, but the population at large.Which is not to say the article is without its groan-inducing flaws. My favorite:
In fact an informal "Clinton Doctrine" is discernable. She is the ideal exponent of "smart power", of the US leading by the example of what is most attractive about that country, not because of its military might. The fight against poverty, the struggle for human rights and in particular women's rights, are Hillary issues. Her fame and gender put her in an extraordinarily strong position to promote these issues, which may prove her most enduring legacy.
She performed with her customary authority and command of the facts, as well as the sense of humour, often overlooked, that is another of her trademarks.Yeah. "Often overlooked." By the same media outlets now each publishing their version of the same story which details how SURPRISINGLY not the devil Hillary Clinton is.
It's almost like they overlooked a lot of stuff or something.
[H/T to Shaker GayAsXmas.]
Hopey Changey Oopsy Desperatey
So. It's getting time for those all-important midterm elections, and the Democratic Party wants to make sure it retains its majority, so it's sending out the Big Guns.
[Transcript below.]
Yup, that's the President himself, speaking directly to
Mm-hmm. I'm pretty sure most of us know that.
The question is: Does the President? Because I can find no official comment on the heinous anti-choice bills passed by the Oklahoma senate, and in response to the equally heinous immigration law signed into law in Arizona, President Obama mustered the passion to call it "misguided." Whoa—settle down there, President Angrypants!
And, you know, some of those federal successes he's touting in that video haven't exactly been unqualified wins for the demographics he now wants to make sure show up at the polls to reelect Democrats who haven't represented our interests.
Which is to say nothing of his unmentioned foot-dragging on LGBTQI rights. And I would say, "At least he has the decency not to urge people to get out the gay vote when he hasn't made a move on DADT or DOMA," except I suspect that his radio silence on gay rights is less about decency and more about not even wanting to affiliate himself with Teh Gay so close to midterm elections.
It's hard to believe there are still Democratic strategists in D.C. getting paid top dollar to advise "promise/betray/pander at midterms," and even harder to believe there are still highly-ranked Democrats who think that shit's a winning strategy.
You want my vote? EARN IT.
Hello, everybody. Today, I'd like to talk with you about the important role each of us will play in 2010, a role that began more than three years ago, when we set out on an incredible journey to change this country for the better.
Despite the challenges we inherited, we have made great progress. When I took office, our economy was in crisis; our standing in the world was diminished; our healthcare system wasn't working for far too many American families; many people wondered why it seemed like bad behavior on Wall Street was being rewarded, while hard work on Main Street wasn't.
Because of you, we are making the change that our nation so desperately needs. We've passed historic health reform legislation. We've put our nation back on the path to prosperity with the Recovery Act. And we are moving America forward one step at a time.
But despite everything we've done, our work isn't finished. Today, the health insurance companies, the Wall Street banks, and the special interests who have ruled Washington for too long are already focused on November's congressional elections. They see these elections as a chance to put their allies back in power and to undo all that we have accomplished. So, this year, I need your help once more.
A few months ago, we asked you to help us set our priorities for 2010 and tell us how you thought we could win elections at all levels of government. You told us your first priority was to make sure the same people who were inspired to vote for the first time in 2008 go back to the polls in 2010.
So that's what we're gonna do. This year, we're gonna reconnect with voters like Claudia Schulz. At 29 years old, Claudia had never been involved in the political process because she didn't think one person could make a difference. But in 2008, Claudia joined millions of other supporters like you and made her first-ever trip to the polls.
In 2010, it will be up to each of you to ask folks like Claudia to stay involved and to explain why, this year, the stakes are higher than ever. It will be up to each of you to make sure that the young people, African-Americans, Latinos, and women, who powered our victory in 2008, stand together once again.
It will be up to each of you to keep our nation moving forward, to keep working to fix Washington, to keep growing our economy, and to keep building a fairer, stronger, and more just America. If you help us do that, if you help us make sure that first-time voters in 2008 make their voices heard again in November, then together we will deliver on the promise of change, and hope, and prosperity for generations to come. Thanks.
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, proud distributors of the limited edition Deeky signature iPod, featuring the entire Communards catalog.
Recommended Reading:
Towleroad: Finland Parliament to Consider Marriage Equality, Gay Adoption
Shark-fu: On Arizona's New Law...
Joe. My. God: San Francisco Board Of Supervisors To Consider Arizona Boycott
Dispatches from the Island: You Learn Something New Everyday
Feminists with Disabilities: Lean On Me
Lance Mannion: Can a Video Game Be as Beautiful as a Cave Painting?
Leave your links in comments...
14 Times I Made Decisionings, by George W. Bush
A little over a year ago, I shared the great news that former president Mondo Fucko was penning a memoir about all the notable decisionings he decisioned as the Decider of the USA.
Well, hold onto your seats, Shakers, because Decision Points—focusing on 14 "critical and historic" decisions and "bring[ing] readers inside the Texas Governor's Mansion on the night of the hotly contested 2000 election; aboard Air Force One on 9/11 in the gripping hours after America's most devastating attack since Pearl Harbor; inside the Situation Room in the moments before launching the war in Iraq; and behind the Oval Office desk for his historic and controversial decisions on the financial crisis, Hurricane Katrina, Afghanistan, Iran, and other issues that have shaped the first decade of the 21st century"—is set for release "exactly one week after November's midterm elections" later this year.
Why do I get the feeling that a book which promises to take us "inside" the key moments of the Bush presidency should just be a picture book featuring images of Bush looking clueless, confused, frozen, and/or captured in the midst of goofballin'?
Anyway…
The book will carry a suggested retail price of $35, but 1,000 cloth-bound and signed editions will be available for $350.Please, Baby Jesus, please tell me that the cloth-bound editions will be swathed in mini-reproductions of his Optimistic Rug!
Today in the Nooz
AP: Wife: 'Dexter' star 'fully recovered' from cancer.
NEW YORK — The wife of Michael C. Hall says the "Dexter" star is "fully recovered" from cancer and has returned to work.Now, first of all: Yay! I'm really glad Michael C. Hall is on the mend.
Jennifer Carpenter said Friday that Hall was "incredibly brave" when he announced in January that he was undergoing treatment for Hodgkin's lymphoma, a cancer that attacks the lymph nodes.
The 38-year-old Hall went into remission and continued treatment at a health facility near Los Angeles.
Hall won a Screen Actors Guild Award and a Golden Globe Award earlier this year for his portrayal of Dexter, a serial killer who targets other murderers. Carpenter stars on the bloody Showtime hit series as Dexter's seemingly unknowing sister.
And secondly: Boo! I love how the headline—and the first sentence—only makes sense if you make Jennifer Carpenter, who is also a star of Dexter (which is reported in the LAST LINE of the story), only Michael C. Hall's wife.
She's the wife, he's the star...oh, and also, she's a star of the same show, too. By the way. Not that it matters. Because she's the wife.
As Deeks said when I emailed this to him: "WTF? Wife first, actress and star in her own right second."
Even, "Wife: 'Dexter' co-star 'fully recovered' from cancer" would have made a huge difference. That's just how easy it is.
Film Corner!
Coming this summer to a theater near you…Beastly—the story of an insatiably arrogant and undilutedly privileged dude who is cursed to be ugly (where ugly = sporting the latest trends in hot body modification) by a witch (where witch = lady wearing eyeliner) in order that he might learn to be a better person (where better person = creepy stalker) and have a woman (where woman = repulsive amalgam of female stereotypes) fall in love with him after a classic meet-cute (where meet-cute = she is about to be victimized by criminals and he saves her, because damsels in distress "need to be protected") and an emotional journey (where emotional journey = he now has low-self esteem and denigrates himself and she tells him she doesn't care so his self-loathing is HEALED), along which he's helped by some new friends (where new friends = a magical black woman who is wise AND a magical blind man who is sassy).
This movie is a real thing in the world, Shakers.
[Transcript provided courtesy of Quixotess is below. Thanks, Q!]
If there's one message we DEFINITELY want to be sending to young women today, it's that the best relationships are the ones where a dude has a huge character flaw that you and he are both totes sure you can fix, if only you love him enough. *headdesk*
Vanessa Hudgens: Hey, I'm Vanessa Hudgens from the new film "Beastly." You're about to check out the exclusive debut of our brand-new trailer on MTV.com.
Kyle [Alex Pettyfer, making a speech in front of assembled students]: Should you vote for me because I'm a rich, popular, good-looking guy? HELL YEAH!
Studentry: HELL YEAH!
Kyle [voice, over images of him working out and flexing to the mirror, in his underwear]: My dad always said how much people like you is directly proportional to what you look like.
Kyle Not your thing?
Lindy [Vanessa Hudgens]: What can I say? I'm substance over style.
[As students applaud Kyle, Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen) in hella eyeliner and an indescribable hairstyle and a cool makeup snake on her face, comes skulking across the floor, shooting him really weird "furtive" looks.]
Unknown Guy [in voiceover]: Steer clear of the witch!
Kendra [confronting Kyle in front of the students]: Wow, looks are important to you.
Kyle: They're important to everyone. Except you, clearly.
[Insta-zoom onto Kendra's eye!] Kendra: Imagine life without them. [She morphs into...the exact same as before except without eyeliner and her hair is down.] You have a year to find someone to love you. [Tattoos start growing on Kyle's arm, he says "huh?" Kendra's voice gets this evil whisper effect.] Or stay this way--forever!
Kyle: Like what? [He's suddenly bald, and he tears his shirt off: he has cool tattoos resembling veins scattered all around his torso, arms, and head. He also has this huge rip across his face. He looks at himself, horrified by what he's become. Whut?]
Kendra: As aggressively unattractive outside as you are inside.
Kyle [in voiceover, as image shows him aimlessly riding his motorcycle in circles inside his room. He hasn't put his shirt back on]: My dad stuck me in this house so no one could see me.
Kyle [looking through the peep-hole of his door]: Who are you?
Tutor [Neil Patrick Harris, wearing sunglasses and carrying a mobility cane]: Mary Poppins. … The tutor? … Don't worry, I can't actually see.
Kyle [opening door]: Welcome to hell.
Tutor: Nice to finally meet you.
[Kyle is on his bed, surfing the internet on his laptop. He still hasn't put his shirt on. He's looking at Facebook. A comment by Sloan Alberts says "I'm so glad Kyle's gone!!!" The comment just below it by Trey Madison says "Amen!!!"]
Kyle: They...hated me.
[He slams down the lid of the laptop. He looks moodily out the window.]
[Kyle has put on a shirt and tracked down Kendra, whose hair has been so crimped that it resembles nothing so much as Honeycomb.]
Kyle: Please make this go away! I've learned my lesson!
Kendra: You've learned nothing! Find someone who can see you better than you can.
[Vanessa Hudgens' character, Lindy, is walking down the street listening to her headphones. Kyle sees her and grins. It's weird. Lindy walks into a bad part of the neighborhood.]
Robbers: Gimme your money!
Lindy: Stay. Away.
[Kyle leaps down from where he was watching her and beats up all the robbers. Lindy is unconscious. He carries her away to his place and lays her tenderly on the bed. It's as creepy as it is ridiculous.]
[Lindy wakes up, gets out of bed, sees Kyle wearing a ski mask.]
Lindy: Augh! What's with the mask?
Kyle: I didn't want to freak you out.
Lindy: Sure. The ski mask didn't freak me out. Why am I here?
Kyle: Because you need to be protected.
[Card: THIS SUMMER]
[Liss note: "Romantic" music begins to swell here; it's "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie, the lyrics to which featured in the ad are "I need you so much closer."]
Kyle: I need a thing that Lindy would like.
Woman [who seems to be filling the role of the black woman dispensing advice]: She would like it when you are being yourself.
Kyle: What, myself? The jerk I was.
Woman: The man I know you to be.
Lindy: So are we ever gonna, like, really meet?
[Kyle, with his back to Lindy and his shoulders hunched, removes his hood. He turns around, embarassed. Lindy meets his gaze steadily.]
Kyle: Pretty gruesome, huh?
Lindy: I've seen worse.
[Card: IT'S WHAT'S UNDERNEATH]
Kyle: I'm gonna build her a greenhouse.
Random Guy: She's very into roses.
[In the greenhouse] Lindy: This rocks.
Kyle: Thought I'd take the ugly thing and turn it into something not.
[Tutor pretends to barf.]
Kyle: Do you wanna go somewhere with me?
[Kyle and Lindy drive out into the night on Kyle's motorcycle. It's love.]
[Kyle has found Kendra again. Her hair's been teased to quite a volume.]
Kyle: I need more time! I might have shot if I have more time!
Kendra: Can't. Sorry.
[Lindy rides away on a subway while Kyle stands alone on the platform. Lindy falls off a wall and Kyle catches her and they tumble to the ground Lion King style. (?)]
Lindy [tearfully, over Kyle's fallen form]: You are the most beautiful man I have ever met.
[They hold hands. Kyle, standing atop a building at night, raises his arms in triumph. They gaze soulfully at each other. Lindy touches his leg. Kyle runs down the street at dusk. Quick shot of him morphing from "ugly" to "beautiful."]
[Card: BEASTLY]
[Card: JULY 30TH]
The Not Quite Daily Teaspoon Report – M100426
Time for another Teaspoon Report!
Leave comments here that describe an act of teaspooning you encountered or committed. They don't have to be big, world-shaking acts; by definition, a teaspoon is a small thing, but enough of them together can empty the ocean.
If you would like to discuss the teaspoons here reported, or even offer congratulations or your admiration to a fellow Shaker, we ask that you do so over here in the Discussion Thread for today's NQDTR.
Shaker bgk has been kind enough to get a Twitter-pated version out there for you young twittersnappers (and by the way, get off my lawn, you meddling kids! *shakes cane*). You can find the details about the Tweetspoons project right here. That runs all the time, as far as I'm aware (*grumblenewtechnologygrumble*), and we encourage you to let other people know that there's at least one tweetstream talking about just going out and doing good things for the human species.
Teaspoons up, let's hear 'em, Shakers!
ô,ôP
NQDTR Discussion Thread – M100426
Hiya, Shakers, time for another Discussion Thread for the Not Quite Daily Teaspoon Report!
This is the thread in which you may offer congratulations or admiration for a teaspoon or teaspooner. If you're posting with just congrats or admiration, though, do take a moment and check the thread to see whether other people have said so a number of times already. Remember that no one is required to read here just because they posted over there, so there's no guarantee you'll get a response to a given comment.
Open Thread
Hosted by bleeding hearts, you liberals.
This week's open threads have been hosted by flowers.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
