Ugh. The Oscars.
Every year, for like 15 years, I go to my friend J's house for the Oscars. (Now Iain comes along, too.) We make our Oscar picks, we watch the red carpet, and then we watch the broadcast and award points for correct picks (2 points for your #1 choice; 1 point for your #2 choice), and see who gets the bragging rights. J always makes something delicious to eat; last night it was a brisket with parsleyed egg noodles and carrots, and OMG it was delicious.
And that is fun.
The Oscars themselves are usually made of fail. And this year was no exception.
Going in, I was unthrilled about the hosts, and dreading noted feminist James Cameron being anointed King of the World. But I had not the merest inkling that Sandra Bullock would ruin the night for me, by grabbing the statuette away from Gabby Sidibe. Fuuuuuuuck.
Throughout the entire broadcast, I was seething that they'd seated James Cameron directly behind Kathryn Bigelow, so every time they got a shot of her, they also got a shot of her ex-husband looking over her shoulder like some grim specter, evoking the Battle of the Sexes as which their dueling director-best film nods had been framed by the media. Ugh.
But then the most magical thing happened. Kathryn Bigelow won Best Director! FIRST WOMAN EVARRR! And then she kept! winning! The Hurt Locker destroyed Avatar! Suddenly no more shots of James Cameron. Har har Battle of the Sexes isn't so funny when women win, isn't that right, Billie Jean King?
I didn't even love The Hurt Locker (although I will admit that Point Break is one of the ultimate guilty pleasures for both residents of Shakes Manor—"100% pure adrenaline!"), and I would have much rather seen Precious kick the pants off of Avatar, but, given the whole tiresome Battle of the Sexes set-up of Bigelow vs. Cameron (and given the fact that I can't stand James Cameron), I was positively delighted to watch Bigelow walk up onto that stage again and again. Wheeeeeeeee!
She's Queen of the World!
(And—trigger warning—here's Cameron "hilariously" pretending to strangle Bigelow before the show even started. I suppose he spent the after-parties following her around pretending to stab her, har har.)
And OMG Mo'Nique. Come on now. That was some 10-tissue blubbing right there, as she gave one of my favorite Oscar speeches of all time: "I would like to thank Miss Hattie McDaniel, for enduring what she had to so that I would not have to," she began, and then thanked her husband for reminding her that "sometimes, you have to forgo doing what is popular in order to do what's right."
Did you notice that all the women associated with Precious were wearing sapphire? (The author of the book on which the film is based is named Sapphire.) Mo'Nique, Gabby Sidibe, Mariah Carey, and Oprah Winfrey were all in sapphire blue dresses. Blub.
Finally, it was a good night for Losties, too: Evangeline Lilly (Kate) is in The Hurt Locker, Michael Giacchino, who scores Lost, won best score for Up, and Fisher Stevens (Minkowski) produced the winning documentary, The Cove. Woot!
Oscars Open Thread
The Not Quite Daily Teaspoon Report – M100308
Time for another Teaspoon Report, brought to you by Shaxco, now introducing a new line of Shaxco™ brand Sparkly Pink Dildo Wands, for the Fairy Maudemother in you.
Leave comments here that describe an act of teaspooning you encountered or committed. They don't have to be big, world-shaking acts; by definition, a teaspoon is a small thing, but enough of them together can empty the ocean.
If you would like to discuss the teaspoons here reported, or even offer congratulations or your admiration to a fellow Shaker, we ask that you do so over here in the Discussion Thread for today's NQDTR.
Shaker bgk has been kind enough to get a Twitter-pated version out there for you young twittersnappers (and by the way, get off my lawn, you meddling kids! *shakes cane*). You can find the details about the Tweetspoons project right here. That runs all the time, as far as I'm aware (*grumblenewtechnologygrumble*), and we encourage you to let other people know that there's at least one tweetstream talking about just going out and doing good things for the human species.
Teaspoons up, let's hear 'em, Shakers!
ô,ôP
NQDTR Discussion Thread – M100308
Hiya, Shakers, time for another Discussion Thread for the Not Quite Daily Teaspoon Report!
This is the thread in which you may offer congratulations or admiration for a teaspoon or teaspooner, or to maybe begin a discussion about a given act.
Remember that no one is required to read here just because they posted over there, so there's no guarantee you'll get a response to a given comment.
(fixed codestamp in subject line - relevant to me only, but I thought I'd acknowledge it, save someone the trouble of commenting to tell me I'd bollixed it)
Too Early in the Day...
...to be reminded of how dangerous it can be to be a woman who displeases a man/men. I swear, I was reading news links sent to me, and here are three of the first five:
Doctor guilty in wife's cyanide murder:[Yazeed] Essa laced his wife's calcium supplements to escape a loveless marriage.
Man killed ex-lover over Facebook photo with new man:A woman was stabbed repeatedly by her ex-lover after he saw a picture of her with her new boyfriend on Facebook.
Bartender says exotic club demoted her because she was pregnant:
Paul Bristol, 25, was found guilty at the Old Bailey of murdering Camille Mathurasingh, 27, at her east London home in April 2009.
The IT technician, who lived in Trinidad and Tobago, flew to London within two weeks of seeing the picture and killed the accountant. Due to the tough economy, [Jennifer] Paviglianiti says she needed this specific bartending job and feared she'd soon be out of work. To protect herself, she decided to secretly record her boss on tape.
I know this woman could possibly lose her livelihood, not her life, like the other cases, but imagine losing your job, with a new baby in this economy. And if you have never had a workplace environment that you felt was hostile, let me tell you it can be one of the most draining, self-doubt-inducing, literally depressing things in the world.
On those recordings [John]Doxey can be heard saying, "Customers don't wanna come in and see a pregnant woman behind the bar!"
[snip]
In other recordings, Doxey is heard suggesting that Paviglianiti's appearance is hurting business. "Maybe they don't go there because the bartender is pregnant and doesn't look sexy."
In addition to the second story, I also received two links to stories about how Facebook can work against women wrt their lives and their jobs:
Teacher killed herself after ex-boyfriend posted naked photos on Facebook:A British teacher working in the Middle East killed herself after an ex-boyfriend posted naked pictures of her on Facebook, an inquest heard yesterday.
And lots of female colleagues have been circling this one, warning each other to be on guard:
Emma Jones, 24, drank poisonous cleaning fluid after confiding in friends that she feared she could be jailed in the Muslim country [UAE] over the explicit images.
Professor Fired for Disgruntled Posts on Facebook: Last week Gloria Gadsden, an associate professor at East Stroudsburg University in Pennsylvania who had been telling her FB followers stuff like "Does anyone know where I can find a very discrete hitman? Yes, it's been that kind of day," was put on indefinite paid leave when the school found out about it.
When I first heard of it, I thought, "Why is she even using language like that?" then wondered about the risque things I say (not violent, but my friends and I discuss "sexy" topics all the time). Of course, that FB account is under my pseudonym, but it's not like I'm all that well pseudonym-ized. What really has my colleagues and me cautious is this observation that Gadsden made in another article that reported on the case:Gadsden... says that university officials have been discriminating against her ever since she wrote an essay in The Chronicle of Higher Education saying universities don't do enough to retain minority faculty.
Those kinds of political games are what terrify me about this profession.
Now, I hope I made your morning as bright as mine :-(.
Open Thread
'Cause you've landed in a place where anything can happen!
Now we've given you fair warnin'
It's gonna be that kind of morn... for being wacky!
For getting nutty! Golly, it's cuckoo!
At Pee-Wee's Playhouse!
Shakesfilk!
With apologies and much love to the women of Bikini Kill, and to a woman I've come to love better than any blood relative:
Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain (to the tune of "Rebel Girl")
That girl thinks she's the queen of the blogosphere
She's got the hottest site around
That girl she holds her head up so high
I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I think I wanna take you home
And do your taxes for you oh
When she talks, I hear the revolution
In her hips, there's a revolution
When she walks, the revolution's coming
In her words, I read the revolution
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
And do your taxes one more time oh
That girl thinks she's the queen of the blogosphere
I got news for you, she is!
They say she's a dyke, but I know
Iain is her best friend, yeah
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna do your dishes too
Love you like a sister always
Soul sister, Rebel girl
Come and be my best friend
Will you Rebel girl?
I really like you
I really wanna be your best friend
Be my Rebel girl
Open Thread
Conky's still snoring,
there's a flashing Magic Screen!
The Cowntess is so classy,
Randy's kinda sassy,
A nuttier establishment you've never seen... spend a day with Pee-Wee and you'll see what we mean! (Come on!)
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: Feminist Prime. lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Today in Just Like Jesus Would Do!
Gay couple's child denied re-enrollment at Catholic school (via):
A preschool student at a Catholic school in Boulder will not be allowed to return next school year because ... the student's parents are two women and the Denver Archdiocese says their homosexual relationship violates the school's beliefs and policy.This is particularly laughable, not to mention ironic, given that it was also reported today the Vatican has been "rocked by a sex scandal reaching into Pope Benedict's household after a chorister was sacked for allegedly procuring male prostitutes for a papal gentleman-in-waiting."
...In a statement sent to 9NEWS, the Archdiocese said, "Homosexual couples living together as a couple are in disaccord with Catholic teaching."
...The Archdiocese also told 9NEWS, "Parents living in open discord with Catholic teaching in areas of faith and morals unfortunately choose by their actions to disqualify their children from enrollment."
Angelo Balducci, a Gentleman of His Holiness, was caught by police on a wiretap allegedly negotiating with Thomas Chinedu Ehiem, a 29-year-old Vatican chorister, over the specific physical details of men he wanted brought to him. Transcripts in the possession of the Guardian suggest that numerous men may have been procured for Balducci, at least one of whom was studying for the priesthood."The Catholic Church (by which I mean the institution and its leadership) needs to get the fuck over itself and stop pretending it's some kind of paragon of virtue. Of course they have the right to deny a child an education based on the fact that her parents are queer, but, you know, maybe it's time to draw a line under two millennia of bigotry, posturing, hypocrisy, theft, human rights violations, and other sundry failures, and instead replace the patronizing, marginalization, and exclusion with a spirit of, "Hey, whoa, who are we to judge?!"
Let me also just take a moment to note that, even granting the Catholic belief that homosexuality is a sin, it's interesting that a special dispensation is being made for every other child whose parents are sinners. By which I mean all the other children, of course, since Catholic doctrine regards all humans as sinners.
Yet again, it's a special argument reserved especially just for the very special case of gay people and their specialized sin.
I Write Letters
Dear Cablevision and ABC,
I'll get right to the point.
I think both of you suck for trying to manipulate the New York tri-state area population to fight your battles. This bullshit standoff between the two of you will only hurt you in the long run. I know that corporations think they never have enough money, but the reality is that you have more than enough to solve our health care crisis five times over.
Cablevision: Get your shit together and figure out how to not have constant drama with networks threatening to cancel their broadcast. Heck, you are the only provider who can't even broker a deal to carry BBC America, so maybe there is something up with your company that gives networks reason to get pissed off. Perhaps FiOS is an alternative worth looking into.
ABC/Disney: After 10 more weeks, Lost will be done for good and I will have no further reason to watch your network, or any of your advertisers' shitty commercials. There's nothing more pathetic to me than a filthy rich company throwing a tantrum about how much more money they should be making than any other network. If the entire tri-state area dumped Cablevision and got a digital converter, you wouldn't be making dime one since you're already broadcasting for free. Stop being such a greedy piece of shit.
Now, both of you stop this immature nonsense or else it's Volcanus Eruptus time.
Love,
Space Cowboy
Hollywood Announces It's Officially Given Up*
New Line reviving 'Police Academy':
New Line is looking for recruits for a relaunched "Police Academy" movie. Original producer Paul Maslansky is back for the new iteration, which has no writer or director attached.In case you've not had the, ahem, pleasure of viewing any of the Police Academy canon, "lowbrow" means: overtly sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, disablist, ageist, xenophobic, fat-hating, and exploitative, with gratuitous naked titty shots.
"Academy" was a seven-film lowbrow comedy series from Warner Bros. that saw a city throw open the doors of its police force to any recruit, much to the chagrin of its serious officers. The misfit officers band together and, of course, save the city.
..."It's going to be very worthwhile to the people who remember it and to those who saw it on TV," Maslansky said. "It's going to be a new class. We hope to discover new talent and season it with great comedians. It'll be anything but another movie with a numeral next to it. And we'll most probably retain the wonderful musical theme."
Have I mentioned in the last six seconds that we're in the middle of a heinous backlash against anything that doesn't conform to the kyriarchy's rigid standards...?
* Again.
"Hilarious Detail"
[Trigger warning.]
Isn't it just HILARIOUS for children to be talking about all the different kinds of "bitches" there are in the world?!
Fuck.
This cheesy bread will fuel the rebellion.
A photo of the positively scrumptuous cheesy bread Shaker RedSonja and I were eating on Monday while plotting the Feminazi Cooter Revolution during our hang-out day at Shakes Manor:
Made by RedSonja's lovely husband, Shaker KarateMonkey, who kindly provided a link to the recipe.
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround is brought to you by Shaxco, makers of Murderphat Denim Jumpsuits. Available in I Am Spartacus Indigo, Steampunk Abortion Robot Rose, Testerical Taupe, and Brown.
Women's Voices for Change: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks: Author Rebecca Skloot on Race, Medical Research, and Ethics
meloukhia: I Critique Because I Care
The Medical Small Business Blog, via Prof-like Substance: 15 Female Scientists Who Changed the World
Dr. Isis: The Mythical Sunshine and Unicorns of University-Based Childcare
Samia: overpersonal rant, ACTIVATE
But you're going to be hard-pressed to make me feel guilty about genuinely not finding something entertaining. I mean, not laughing-- that's pretty passive, as far as criticism goes. What's the big deal? People tell me I shouldn't be taking offense at shit, but they're offended at my non-reaction? Interesting.
[snip]
I want to ask people sometimes: if I'm such an oversensitive, hysterical snob, why do you care what I think or feel about anything at all? Why are you so upset?
abby jean at FWD/Forward: How to Frame the Accommodations Debate
The Permaculture Research Institute of Australia: Life at Zaytuna: Closing the Loop
NeuroLogica Blog: Treating Migraine with Magnetic Stimulation
The Band Next Door: The Night Terrors
When a band pulls out a theremin, you start paying attention, and that’s exactly what I did when I saw the The Night Terrors in Melbourne in June last year.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
See Deeky's archive of all previous Conniving & Sinister strips here.
[In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.]
Utah Abortion Bill Update
The Utah abortion bill, which would have sentenced women to up to life in prison if the caused "the death" of a fetus by "intentional or reckless behavior," has been withdrawn, but only so its sponsor, Republican State Representative Carl D. Wimmer, can rewrite it.
Wimmer, a Republican, said he had removed a key clause that would have allowed prosecution under Utah's criminal homicide laws for a "reckless act of the woman" that resulted in death to a fetus. Language will remain, he said, that makes a woman's "intentional" actions, if resulting in the death of her fetus in an illegal abortion, a felony.Basically, Wimmer is seeking to address the concerns raised that "the language about 'reckless' acts could open the door to a witch hunt where every miscarriage was potentially subject to police questioning."
Which will leave a bill criminalizing illegal abortion in a state that increasingly discourages legal abortions.
