Hosted by The Cowardly Lion.
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker Vanshar: If you woke up and discovered that you had been given absolute authority over the entire world, what would be the first thing you did?
Divvy up responsibility and establish accountability so I no longer had absolute authority, lol.
After that: Pie for everyone.
Fat Hatred Bingo! Blame the Mother Bingo! BINGO, I Say!
A new study (yay! I love new studies!) "suggests" that "obese mothers put newborns at greater risk for Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, diabetes, stroke, heart disease and other ills." Grave news indeed. The study's co-author, Staci D. Bilbo, of Duke University, explains that the researchers' "hope" is that "these data will lead people to consider the consequences of their dietary intakes not only for their own health, but also for their children's health, and potentially even their grandchildren's health."
Think of the childrenz, Fat Moms! Because, yo:
"If there ever was a maternal hex, obesity might be it," said Dr. Gerald Weissmann, editor-in-chief of the [Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology] journal, "and as it turns out, even after the weight comes off, the biggest loser isn't a mother, but her child."Maternal hex! HEXFAT!
Now, if you're a fat-assed fatsronaut like me, you may be wondering just what the study entailed that yielded these shocking conclusions about HEXFAT. Well, wonder no more:
Bilbo and colleagues placed rats on one of three diets (low-fat, high-saturated fat, and high-trans fat) four weeks prior to mating and throughout pregnancy and lactation. The high-fat diets rendered the mice clinically obese.Hmm. It's probably just all the fat clogging my brain, but I can't help but notice that extrapolating this data to human women means assuming that every human woman who is fat is fat because of high-fat diets. Which is a pretty fat assumption.
The newborn pups' brains were analyzed. Offspring born to mothers on the high-fat diets showed increased immune cell activation and release of injurious substances known as cytokines, all right after birth. The changes stuck even until the newborns became adults, and even after they were put on low-fat diets.
Additionally, by axiomatically linking "high-fat diet" to "obese mother," the findings are being directed at fat bodies rather than fat diets, excluding from warnings thin women with high metabolisms who eat a fat-rich diet.
That is, if warnings are even warranted:
The study, done on rats, found that their body chemistry changed for life if mom was obese. Researchers expect the same phenomenon would occur in humans, given the similar physiologies, but more research is needed to confirm that.More research is needed. The headline at MSNBC reads: "Mom's obesity puts kids at risk for host of ills." Research schmesearch.
HEXFAT!!!!!!!!!eleventy!
[H/T to Shaker Broce.]
Get Well Soon, Bubba
Bill Clinton was hospitalized in New York City today for chest pains; a spokesperson later confirmed he has had two stents implanted in one of his coronary arteries. He is recovering from the procedure and is expected to remain in the hospital for a few days.
Get well soon, Bubba.
As an aside, the above-linked article (which Shaker Blusilva sent to me under the amusing subject line "Bill Clinton v. DEATH!FAT") has since been updated, but originally read, in total:
Former President Bill Clinton, who is 63, was hospitalized in New York City today for chest pains.One of the edits included adding: "[Hillary Clinton] flew to New York City immediately this afternoon."
Clinton was rushed to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan. ABC News' chief political correspondent George Stephanopoulos reported that sources said he was taken to the hospital "likely for a stent procedure."
Clinton's wife, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, was seen this afternoon leaving the Oval Office and did not seem "too concerned" or "in a rush."
Clinton, who has suffered from overweight often in his life, lost considerable poundage after his previous heart problem. The pain could come from a partial blockage of an artery and the stent would reopen the passage.
The media never tires of calling Bill Clinton fat and Hillary Clinton a soulless harpy.
Iran
[Trigger warning.]
Today is the 31st anniversary of the Islamic Revolution in Iran, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad used the occasion of his anniversary address to announce that Iran is now a nuclear state: "Ahmadinejad asserted Thursday that Iran has produced its first batch of higher-grade enriched uranium and declared that his country is now a 'nuclear state,' although he continued to deny that Iran has any intention of building nuclear weapons."
White House Spokesperson Robert Gibbs responded: "Iran has made a series of statements that are based on politics, not on physics."
Meanwhile: "Hundreds of thousands of pro-government Iranians have been rallying to mark the 31st anniversary of Iran's revolution. ... The opposition has been trying to stage counter-demonstrations, but faced a big security crackdown, and several of its leaders have reportedly been attacked."
CNN:
Militia members also beat the wife of opposition leader Mir Hossein Moussavi with batons, according to postings on the social networking Web site Facebook and opposition Web sites.And because strife in Iran just wouldn't be complete with posturing in the US Congress, Senators Lieberman and McCain have introduced a bill to single out "individuals for sanctions instead of whole governments."
The forces were preventing opposition leaders and their followers -- the so-called Green Movement -- from reaching Azadi Square (Freedom Square) in central Tehran, where President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad delivered an anniversary address extolling the country's nuclear program to supporters. They fired on crowds in some areas and pepper-sprayed demonstrators in others, opposition groups said.
CNN has not been able to independently confirm opposition reports.
"This would authorize the president to deny visas and freeze economic assets for people in Iran who are responsible for the kind of brutality that we're seeing on these videos," Lieberman said during an appearance on MSNBC.It's a rare day indeed that I look at proposed legislation ostensibly designed to combat human rights abuses and respond with "LOLWTF FAIL."
...Lieberman said that the sanctions being proposed would have the benefit of not having to go through the United Nations Security Council, where China has been reluctant to go along with tougher rules for Iran.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
Assvertising
by Shaker TheSeaHag
[Trigger warning.]
I was flipping through the new issue of Lucky the other day and got hit with a (possibly NSFW) Diesel ad that can be viewed here.
For those who can't or don't wish to view the image, it depicts a (white, very thin) woman in a bikini or bra and underpants, who seems to be on photo safari—just, you know, without the rest of her clothes. She's standing in a grassy, sunlit area, camera slung around her neck, but is using one hand to hold her underpants/bikini bottom away from her body while the other points her camera down to take a photograph. So engrossed is she in this that she doesn't notice the big ol' lion standing perhaps a dozen feet behind her. The slogan, in big, bright yellow letters, reads, "SMART MAY HAVE THE BRAINS, BUT STUPID HAS THE BALLS."
Yes, really.
Apparently, this is part of Diesel's new "Stupid" campaign—yes, really—for which the most commonly used slogan among the images (many of which can be viewed at the above link) appears to be, as in the ad linked above, "Smart may have the brains, but stupid has the balls." The rest of the images for this campaign can be found here (click "View the Campaign"), but I direct you there with both a NSFW warning and a TRIGGER WARNING because a few of the images are disturbing in various ways.
Another For the International File
This one from Malawi, where gay activists have been struggling mightily to achieve progress in basic human rights for gay people.
In a display of profound ignorance of his own privilege (or quite possibly simple malice), government official Kingsley Namakhwa* said that it was illegal to mount such campaigns anonymously, and that the activists should come out publicly.
He also mentioned that, of course, homosexuality remains quite thoroughly illegal in Malawi, and that any activists who do come out will be prosecuted fully, as is indeed happening to two very brave men (Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza, long may their love - and lives - last) who initiated proceedings to marry.
Uh-huh. Gee, I wonder why the activists don't want to declare themselves publicly?
The Malawi authorities have told gay activists who put up posters and distribute leaflets on the streets anonymously to "come out in the open".As is usual for me on these international posts, I'd like to direct your attention to this page, which lists addresses for places you could write to protest this campaign against gay people. As ever, I recommend firm but polite.
Government official Kingsley Namakhwa said it was against the law to mount such campaigns anonymously.
But he also pointed out that homosexuality was illegal, and anyone promoting it would be prosecuted.
* As I am unaware of Mr. Namakhwa's status as a cis- or trans- person, or his orientation or indeed ethnicity, I have omitted describing these traits.
Tip of the CaitieCap to MzR for the link.
Rom-Com Rulez
Every year around Valentine's Day, someone writes a piece about the dating and/or relationship rules that can be gleaned from mainstream romantic comedies. (Which is probably why it feels like I've written this post five times before.) In today's Daily News, Patrick Huguenin writes about what he has discerned as the "12 universal romantic comedy truths."
I suspect—nay, I am certain!—that we can come up with more. Like, for example, that if you're a Thin White Straight Lady Looking for Love, you'd better have a sassy fat, black, and/or gay friend to make laconic but insightful quips and call you "girl" (acceptable variation: "girlfriend"), or else you ain't never finding NOBODY!
Have at it, Shakers.
I Don't Know Whether to Laugh or...
...create a dartboard with the word "BIPARTISAN" on it and then throw eighty metric fucktons of napalm at it:
OMG. It's the return of the Corporate Pandertron 6000: I AM THE CORPORATE PANDERTRON 6000. I LOVE BUSINESS. GLEEP GLORP! SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS! COMMUNITY BANKS! BEEP BOOP! SMALL TAX CREDIT! CUT TAXES TO BUSINESSES! GLEEP GLORP!THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of the Press Secretary
_____________________________________________
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 11, 2010
Statement From the Press Secretary on Release of the Draft Bipartisan Senate Jobs Bill
"The President is gratified to see the Senate moving forward in a bipartisan manner on steps to help put Americans back to work. The draft bill released today by Senators Baucus and Grassley includes several of the President's top priorities for job creation, including a tax incentive to encourage businesses to hire, a tax cut to make it easier for small businesses to invest and expand, further measures to keep people at work repairing our nation's roads and bridges, and extended unemployment insurance and health care assistance for Americans who are out of work.
"The American people want to see Washington put aside partisan differences and make progress on jobs. The House has already passed a constructive set of measures and the President is hopeful that the draft language presented today will lead to a bipartisan Senate bill. The President looks forward to working with members from both parties on this bill and on the additional job creation measures he has identified, including incentives for energy efficiency investments and increased access to credit for small businesses."
###
I give the fuck up.
Infrastructure Repair + Jobs = WIN, though. Too bad that idea progressives have been suggesting for more than a decade didn't get moving a year ago, but better late than never, I guess.
What Makes America Great
I spotted this today, upstairs in the cafeteria here at work, pinned to the community bulletin board. I guess you can post whatever you want on it, so long as it doesn't impinge on anyone's constitutional guarantee of liberty, freedom and the right to sell scented candles.
For those who can't see the image, the note reads "Freedom is what makes our country GREAT! Respect others — Don't cover up the signage —". I don't know what covering up someone's guitar lessons flyer has to do with freedom, but maybe in places like China or Cuba they don't have bulletin boards. Or if they do, you can only post stuff about Trotskyite healthcare rallies.
Okay, I'm off to the chili cook-off! Or, as I like to call it, Office Fart Day.
Americans Hate Their Government
I don't mean the Obama administration; I mean that Americans hate the way their entire federal government works:
Two-thirds of Americans are "dissatisfied" or downright "angry" about the way the federal government is working, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll. On average, the public estimates that 53 cents of every tax dollar they send to Washington is "wasted."Which means that 41% of liberal Democrats aren't satisfied, despite the executive and legislative branches of the federal government being under Democratic control.
...Public dissatisfaction with how Washington operates is at its highest level in Post-ABC polling in more than a decade -- since the months after the Republican-led government shutdown in 1996 -- and negative ratings of the two major parties hover near record highs.
...Eight in 10 conservative Republicans hold negative views about the way government works, but by contrast, 59 percent of liberal Democrats said they were "enthusiastic" or "satisfied" about the role government was playing.
Cue Democratic strategists interpreting this as a message to run even further to the right and utterly miss the reality that they are bleeding progressives.
Driving In Cars With Caitie
A couple of weeks ago, while driving a friend to the airport in Buffalo, my car began to make this weird peeping noise. High-pitched, like an alarm or something, but little tiny chirps.
Friend: Why is it beeping?
Cait: I don't know.
(Cait turns on radio)
Friend: Why did you do that?
Cait: Um...well, to appease the God of Random Noises.
Friend: (laughs)
(peeping stops)
Cait: Aah, you laugh at my gods, but they do the bizness, don't they?
Friend: (ponders) Let's see...there's the God of Traffic Clearing*, and the Goddess of Counting Smarties**, and the God of Random Noises...yes, I guess you're right.
Cait: Don't forget the God of Wedding Chaos***. That worked too.
Never did, by the way, find out why the car was peeping. It stopped, though, and that's good enough for me.
* God of Traffic Clearing: appeased by the shouting of "I'm Moses, damnit, get out the fucking way!" Not always effective, but usually leaves the supplicant at least feeling invigorated by the shouting.
** Goddess of Counting Smarties: appeased by the careful consumption of Smarties in the approved manner (having to do with the order of eating, which basically goes by constantly recalculating the mode with regard to the current set of Smarties). You don't want to know what happens if I eat the Smarties in the wrong order, but I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with "the bluniverse blends".
*** God of Wedding Chaos: I insisted that I must invite some Chaos into my wedding last September, because if I didn't, then Chaos would gate-crash, and we'd have a right mess. So we had no formal photographer chosen or engaged, instead encouraging our friends to take as many pictures as they wanted. It worked beautifully, we had many, many pictures, and almost no uninvited Chaos. Just remember how often fairy tales start with some bad person who wasn't invited to a ritual, and starts flinging curses about like stupid memes on Facebook. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Question of the Day
Suggested by Shaker Nolittlelolita: Which TV series or movie has the most wasted potential? How would you fix it?
I don't know that this one technically has the absolute most wasted potential, but it was the first one that came to mind (and I've commented at least twice about this in the last two years, so it's a decent contender): The first three-quarters of the Steven Spielberg-Stanley Kubrick collaboration A.I. was brilliant. If it had ended at the bottom of the sea, in front of the Blue Fairy, it would have been a classic. Instead, it's total shit.
So, yeah. I would have 86'ed the dumbass aliens.
You Spin Me Right 'Round, Baby, Right 'Round Like a Record
The White House is on damage control after the President's disastrous comments that he doesn't "begrudge" bank CEOs' for their multi-million dollar bonuses. The WH asserts that the quote was taken out of context, but I'm not sure, exactly, how the extended transcript is meant to make us feel better:
QUESTION: Let's talk bonuses for a minute: Lloyd Blankfein, $9 million; Jamie Dimon, $17 million. Now, granted, those were in stock and less than what some had expected. But are those numbers okay?Call me kooky, but the fact that there are baseball players making more than $17 million who don't get to the World Series doesn't actually make me feel any better about the President saying he doesn't "begrudge" his "savvy businessmen" (ahem) pals their success and wealth, because, hey, that's part of the free market system.
THE PRESIDENT: Well, look, first of all, I know both those guys. They're very savvy businessmen. And I, like most of the American people, don't begrudge people success or wealth. That's part of the free market system. I do think that the compensation packages that we've seen over the last decade at least have not matched up always to performance. I think that shareholders oftentimes have not had any significant say in the pay structures for CEOs.
QUESTION: Seventeen million dollars is a lot for Main Street to stomach.
THE PRESIDENT: Listen, $17 million is an extraordinary amount of money. Of course, there are some baseball players who are making more than that who don't get to the World Series either. So I'm shocked by that as well. I guess the main principle we want to promote is a simple principle of "say on pay," that shareholders have a chance to actually scrutinize what CEOs are getting paid. And I think that serves as a restraint and helps align performance with pay.
Free market system, my tax-paying ass, Obama.
Krugman speaks more truth here:
[F]irst, baseball players didn't trigger a global economic collapse, and second, the baseball industry isn't the beneficiary of a massive and continuing taxpayer bailout (continuing because banks would be in deep trouble even now if it weren't for the belief that they have a government backstop).Indeed so. And, frankly, it strikes me as utterly devoid of empathy, too, for the millions and millions of working Americans who will never see a salary anything like a professional baseball player's or a Wall Street CEO's, and are okay with that as long as their tax dollars aren't being used to subsidize that cavernous disparity.
...We don't begrudge wealth in the free market system — OK, but this wasn't about free markets, this is an industry that survives only thanks to taxpayer backing.
...Just to be clear: what freaks me out about this isn't what it says about Obama's policies, it's what it says about failure to read the mood of the country. The president seems solely concerned that someone might think that he's anti-business, without — in this interview, at least — appearing to consider it necessary to say a thing about the pervasive sense of unfair Wall Street privilege. He doesn't have to bash bankers every step of the way, but to respond to a question about bonuses solely by praising free markets and comparing bankers to baseball stars is … clueless.
Today in All Ur Uteri Belong to Us
Des Moines Register: "A pregnant Burlington woman said this week she was falsely accused by police of trying to kill her fetus after she confided under duress to hospital emergency workers that she wanted to end her pregnancy."
I don't even know where to begin with this article. I can't even decide if I'm more horrified and infuriated by the phrase "fetal rights movement," or by the casual note: "Taylor's case raises questions about confidentiality of conversations between pregnant women and health care providers, experts say."
Doctor-patient privilege is apparently not a right, but a courtesy you may or may not be extended, if you're a pregnant woman.
[H/T to Shaker Julie.]
It's Delightful, It's Delicious, It's De-Lovely...
...it's De-lurk Day! We haven't had one of these in ages, so all you Shaker lurkers who rarely or never pipe up, don't be shy; say hi!
Cheeky devils!
